#sassacre
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Can we get more Sassacrace? Love that guy, he was a great prankster and a man willing to date and marry an alien woman that was twice his size. Amazing.
I know this is absolutely NOT how their relationship was and HIC was a damn monster in canon, but fuck it.
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a transfem lesbian sassacre icon or two please
and. demustachify that bastard
It is upsetting how little Sassacre content there is I swear.
#homestuck#homestuck icons#colonel sassacre#sassacre#sassacre icons#transfem pfps#transfem icons#lesbian pfp#lesbian icons#transfem#transfem lesbian#transfem lesbian icons#bros mustache got swiped
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And then approximately 8 days later he is shot dead by his infant son so sad.
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#homestuck meme#colonel sassacre#her imperious condescension#the condesce#jane egbert#nanna egbert#so sad Jake never got to experience what it’s like to have a father.
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some (not all) of the sprites from paradox space #50 "spritecon"
#homestuck#paradox space#sprite edit#kernelsprite#death ps#distinguished houseguest#snowman 08#pm#maplehoof#karkat vantas#dad egbert#andrew hussie#mom lalonde#colonel sassacre#post scratch john
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Worst Homestuck Character Competition
This competition is not about "least transgender", vote for your least favorite! Canon gender is not a factor, and please don't call these characters cis.
The top three characters will proceed to the next round (the semi-finals)!
#Horuss Zahhak#Cronus Ampora#Mindfang#The Condesce#Colonel Sassacre#Dirk's Bro#Alpha Dave Strider#Gl'bgolyb#poll#round 3#homestuck#worst homestuck character competition#character hate
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Homestuck character most likely to read Homestuck Round 1-8
#homestuck#dad egbert#dad crocker#becquerel#colonel sassacre#halley#round 1#homestuck character most likely to read homestuck
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the bride and the ugly ass groom
#i hate colors i hate color pallates aughohphsphsslwnsshsj#the condesce#her imperious condescension#colonel sassacre#homestuck#art#i guess. i colored and kinda shaded so i guess its more than a doodle
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John's finally cracked open Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery, and well... it seems daunting!
Hell's bells, we are having a mighty sporting time of it!
Hold fast my intrepid fellow prank-smiths! We've merely nicked the mahogany of our japing chests.
If I may direct the incisive ogle of your beagle puss to the wriggling regency of rubber bugs, plastic parasites, squirming serpents, pliable pests, and every such order and phyla of creepy-crawlie!
Land sakes alive, we are cooking with petrol now! (MSPA page 1969)
We have here an absurd parody of old-timey language that would certainly challenge the average modern 13 year old's attempts to interpret it. The Colonel himself is clearly based on famed American humorist Samuel Clemens aka Mark Twain, judging by the illustration--
--and this excerpt from the text:
Do you have a bothersome aunt who never seems troubled to find ways with your sunny afternoons? A broad, splintery fence - a bucket of whitewash, perhaps? (MSPA page 1969)
This is a reference to the fence-whitewashing episode in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, which I'd already read by the time I was John's age, thanks to my father's commitment to the classics of American literature being nearly equal to Dad Egbert's passion for harlequins. Tom tricks his friends into doing the task his aunt had set for him and paying him for the privilege with marbles and other small items, including a dead rat on a string--a superb example of practical japery, I think you'll agree.
But wait--how can Colonel Sassacre be Mark Twain, when Mark Twain was mentioned just a few pages ago?
"The moon's an arrant thief, and her pale fire she snatches from the sun." -Mark Twain
You are almost certain Mark Twain said that. (MSPA page 1950)
Mark Twain did NOT say that--as @homestuckredo pointed out the other day, the quote is from Shakespeare's Timon of Athens. Nevertheless, Mark Twain evidently existed in the Homestuck universe. Was Colonel Sassacre another pen name, or perhaps a less successful contemporary of his? And what is his importance to the Egbert family, that John should treasure an obscure and old fashioned tome that also happens to have been involved in the death of his Nanna?
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Todays Her Imperious Condescension is:
Dan Nikki your Bobbies [feat. Her husband Sassacre]
art by me. I think about her and him together a lot.
#condy#her imperious condescension#hic daily#homestuck ancestors#condescension#hic#meenah peixes#colonel sassacre#my art also#dan Nikki your bobbies
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never forget Condy married a silly little guy
#homestuck#her imperious condescension#the condesce#Condescension#Condy#Homestuck Ancestors#colonel sassacre#he’s just a silly guy#the GHB in this makes me cry laughing even tho I made this
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do u think jane egbert or john crocker held it against their siblings for leaving them.. maybe jake or jade feeling envious about them not having to look over their shoulders constantly incase HIC really wanted them gone. when john made his comedy career was jade envious for his life since she was all alone in fighting HIC off? i
#:/#d talks#idk if jade had the funds like jake did since im not sure if her sassacre died the same way
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at least one or two colonel sassacre transfem lesbian icons. please. im pretty sure our beloved meraki-sunset posted some sassacre content and i would love if u used some of that art maybe? please and thank you kisses hugs ect ect
this is for a fictive btw
here you are!!! TRANSFEM LESBIAN COLONEL SASSACRE ICONS!
art by @meraki-sunset
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Worst Homestuck Character Competition
This competition is not about "least transgender", vote for your least favorite! Canon is not a factor, and please don't call these characters cis.
The top three characters will proceed to the next round!
#Dad Egbert#Dad Crocker#Nanna Egbert#Nanna Crocker#Grandma English#Poppop Crocker#Colonel Sassacre#Dave Strider#Alpha Dave#Rose Lalonde#Alpha Rose#Homestuck#Poll#Round 1#Character Hate#Worst Homestuck Character Competition
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I would like to remind you all that Colonel Sassacre's wife, The Condesce, is HUGE compared to him.
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