Sfjshhgfkl I saw the Sara/Talia anon and I'm losing my shit over potential stepbrothers Jay and Damian. I think for maximum comedy we should have Damian who is perfectly aware that his mother is beautiful because that's really just a factual matter and a weapon in her arsenal, and Jay who firmly believes his mom is awesome but has NO CLUE everyone thinks she's a MILF. He's one of those kids who goes 'what the hell do you mean my mom is hot' and then Jon, who has lived his entire life dealing with how badly so many people want to fuck one or both of his parents, has to pull his boyfriend aside and be like 'listen there is no good or kind way to inflict this kind of psychic damage but the internet found your mom's yearbook photos and now NakaMILFra is trending on twitter'. Jay discovers four new stages of grief on the spot. Then someone posts an old photo of Sara and Talia in their carefree and rebellious youth. Damian and Jay immediately call each other to scream DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS. They have no idea what the hell they're supposed to do with this information. Jay calls his mom because what the HELL and he's treated to a forty minute lecture about ways he can avoid Sara's mistakes with Talia being made with him and Jon (she adds that if Jon decides to dump Jay for a guy who's emotional constipation is so bad not even being that rich and that hot can make up for it, she'll key Jon's car for him. Apparently the possibility of angry Kryptonian has nothing on the knife throwing reality of angry Talia.) Jay has no idea what to do with any of the advice he's just received. Damian is now weighing his options on which couple to parent trap and he picks Sara/Talia for several truly logical reasons and the fact that Parousia-Gamorra has lots of really cool animals. He is nearly cheerful when he informs Jon of this, via Kryptonian hearing because Jay unplugged their router seconds after checking his socials. Jay has since been sitting on the kitchen floor, staring into a jar of Nutella like it's capable of producing the means to his salvation. Jon figures that Jay could probably do far worse step-mom wise than Talia purely because Talia will ensure that any attempts to call or carry out a hit on the Nakamuras end up dead in a ditch and Jon would like the reassurance that even when he's off planet someone is there to make the CIA cry. Of course she'll want to send her own agents to test Jay's reflexes probably but Jon's pretty sure Sara can talk her out of that. Talia being preoccupied ensuring her wife's country stays a free democracy and nobody succeeds in assassinating her wife or her stepson is by far the best plan anyone's come up with to keep Talia too occupied to be a supervillain and they all know it. Jon is torn between hating that this plan succeeding will make Jay a proxy member of the Batfamily, or preemptively buying popcorn because when Bruce tries to pull his emotionally incompetent helicopter parent bullshit Jay is going to make that man's life a living hell for as long as it takes him to realize that was a bad idea. Jay doesn't even find out about this plan until Damian has successfully tricked Saralia into a date and Damian throws Jon under the bus immediately. Jay is furious with Jon for not telling him ('you were barely past the psychic damage from twitter' is some bold hypocrisy from the guy who's going to end up paying off his therapist's mortgage) for about three days before Jon sits him down and lists the flat out pros and cons of this plan succeeding. 'Saralia cannot possibly be WORSE for each other than Brutalia' is on both lists. 'No dictator will be able to set up shop' is a compelling argument but what actually sells Jay on the whole thing is the knowledge that sleeping with Talia Al Ghul is going to be as strong a hitman deterrent for his mom as sleeping with a Kryptonian is for him. Bruce finds out about the plan several months after the three of them start working together and Jon gleefully sends him to voicemail every time he calls.

GOD PLEASE I DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT BRUCE. HE'D LOSE HIS FUCKING MIND. I do think the logical conclusion to this 'yes and' is like, Damian and Jon try and parent trap them, not realizing that like. This was no ordinary breakup. This was a TOXIC SAPPHICS IN THE LATE 80S breakup. Full Good Luck Babe by Chappell Roan. They act like they're DIVORCED. Jayjon and Damian are watching the date they set the two of them up on as a surprise like ;O_O

Its a mess. But more confusingly for the boys, like, Sara and Talia clearly still care a LOT about eachother, like Talia's showing up to defend Sara from western interference and Sara's lending her her top secret intel, but they WILL. NOT. GET. ALONG. Its an ACTIVE REFUSAL to let go of what happened in their past and move on from it. They'll be mid-fight with one of Waller's task forces and Sara will be like "REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU LEFT ME FOR A WHITE MAN?!" Sara's ranting to Jay when she gets home from their date that she CANT BELIEVE talia hasn't changed WHATSOEVER with her DUMB LONG HAIR and her BEAUTIFUL JASMINE PERFUME and Jay is just like

"Uhuh. Uhuh. Sure mom."

This is all extra funny if you consider the fact Damian canonically admires Jay's works and respects his opinion a lot. On the one hand, oh god he doesn't wanna think about his mom's love life. On the other.... an excuse to spend more time with Jay woooooo

I don't know if Sara and Talia would ever formally get back together again since I believe in my soul the both of them are too caught up in the torn and abandoned people they've become (since in this hypothetical, Sara's lost Jay's other mother, her late wife, and.... Talia's everything) but I think every once and awhile they share a cigarette on a rooftop after some shit goes down all lesbian-ly and theres this moment where they Wonder. They're each other's "one who got away" and they refuse to consider the alternative where they might've been happy.

Doesn't stop Jay and Damian from TRYING to make their moms talk to each other! Their biggest strategy is forcing the two women to coparent them by doing something extremely stupid