seeing all of these new ghoul fuckers come in and get into fo4 and stuff is bringing a tear to meemaws eye. even if the new ghouls look like mole rats and not technicolor corpses. passing the torch along. all these new kudos on fic that’re five, almost ten years old in some cases. :’) i’ve always loved fallout but never considered it would get crazy big compared or have the same staying power compared to a lot of other fandoms. welcome y’all.
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Yeah things are still tough financially and I’m still under incredible stress but six months ago my old boss made me cry when she threatened to fire me over sending an innocuous email without her permission, and yesterday my new boss made me cry when she surprised me with, in her words, “a Hallie appreciation lunch” because she’s so thrilled I’m here and I’ve exceeded expectations in every way, and we sat and talked and ate delicious food for over an hour and I went back to the office feeling truly wanted
It’ll get better. Have faith
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I had a … significant mood drop just now and im feelin kinda sad. My cousin wants me to hop on the PlayStation so hopefully playing with him & my husband helps me feel better. Either way I’ll be back in a bit I just may be quiet except for doing drafts bc I’m just …. Yea
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Reason number idk to keep my shot day more consistent (tho tbf i had been doing really well on timing up until last week lmao):
Shot day being off means i get extra weepy over just. anything. everything. My brain looks at anything and goes 'oh yeah, that's like (horrible traumatic memory), you 'member that? Yeah, sure ya do! here's a recap of that particular time for ya too.'
and like??? I am not a fan of it today. i mean i never really am but, I have shit to do rn lmao (dishes and i keep having smutty ed/izzy and nathan/pickles ideas that refuse to actually flow on the page once i open a word doc.)
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Tie my identity to my personality
“When they dig up your bones in 100 years, they’ll know what you were assigned at birth.”
Then kill me and leave me nameless.
Burn me to ash and sprinkle my remains around a tree. Whisper who I was to the leaves and tie a blue ribbon around the branches every spring.
Mark my living grave with a person, not a name.
Leave me with my favorite color and the warmth of the sun and the memories of my laugh; do not bother with the letters I scribbled in ink.
My name is only mine as long as I am alive to fight for it, let me rest after all is said and done.
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the one good thing about my pmdd is that if I randomly want to die I know that I'm just going to have my periods the next week, which currently means that they're just late, i'm not pregnant or something, which is always a relief
I mean I still want to throw myself out of a window or fight anyone who dare speaking in my presence so that's a small relief but still I guess
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ill always regret not having more belly hair
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The lingering pregnancy hormones need to fuck off. I have been miserable physically and mentally for the past 7 weeks
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