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fericita-s · 4 years

Text

Vanished

AU where Agnarr rescues Iduna as the mist descends and she loses her memory. He takes her to Arendelle and keeps her past a secret from everyone including Iduna herself, thinking it will keep her safe. Thank you @the-spastic-fantastic for developing this with me through brainstorming, mutual all caps excitement, skillful editing, Elias’s and Mrs. Calder’s best lines, outlining help, and this amazing moodboard!

Rated M, 20K, to be posted in four parts.

Part One

“Say it.”

Agnarr looked at his friend, then back down to Iduna’s sleeping form on the overstuffed mattress tucked into the corner of a small room near the kitchen, meant for a servant. There was nothing about it that resembled the homes or beds of the Northuldra. But she wouldn’t remember that.

“I rescued her from a ship attacked by pirates, the only survivor.”

“And what will you do if she speaks Northuldra?” He brushed the hair away from Iduna’s cheek as he spoke, tracing his fingers along the bruise there that was already a deep purple. He was more worried about the hard lump on the back of her head, but didn’t want to touch what was already so tender. She had whimpered in her sleep when he had last tried to feel it for blood.

“Tell her she must speak in the tongue she hears from me.”

“Elias, you have to be sure of that. We passed bodies on the way here. The Northuldra traders who were in town, they’ve been murdered. I will calm the chaos but it will take time. She must stay safe. Burn her clothes and boots. Give her something of Linnea’s or Thea’s to wear. Please keep her safe.”

“I will. I swear, Agnarr. My father too.”

“And if she remembers anything…” Agnarr trailed off, the urgency and horror of his previous statements still heavy in the air like smoke after a battle. Like the mist around the stones.

Elias put a hand on Agnarr’s shoulder. “If she remembers anything, I’ll keep her quiet and we’ll get word to you.”

***

“The King is dead! Long live the King!”

Agnarr waved from the balcony and it was a chore to keep his face impassive and his arm steady. People were spread out in the courtyard below and he could even see sailors manning the rail on the ships in the harbor. He looked up to the sloping hill of the fjord and saw families waving from roofs and upper windows with handkerchiefs in their hands. He waved to them all, dipping his head in acknowledgement, brief prayers on his lips for courage, for wisdom, for his kingdom, for the soul of his father, but most of all, for Iduna.

***

Iduna woke with the sensation of a scream unfinished on her tongue and smoke in her lungs. She raised a hand to her tangled hair and felt a lump, pulsing with her heartbeat. She groaned and the grimace brought a tight feeling to her cheek. She put her other hand there and felt a tight knot.

“Oh! You’re awake! I’ll go run and fetch Father. Stay still, the physician said you must.”

Iduna turned her head slowly to the sound of the voice, but only saw the swishing skirts of the speaker as they disappeared around the doorway. The language was familiar, but not her own. And the bed was comfortable, but not her own. She felt the echo of shouting in her ears, and a wind whipping around her as the very earth shook and rolled beneath her. As she stared at the ceiling, waiting for whoever the young woman had promised, her heart seized with all that she couldn’t recall. Where am I? What happened to me? An even more terrifying question gripped her. Who am I?

She opened her mouth and screamed.

***

“You must get married. The coronation soothed some fears, and your speech banning reprisals against the Northuldra showed your leadership and compassion, but the people are anxious.”

Agnarr sighed and nodded to Lord Hannesel. “I understand. But alliances and diplomacy are delicate. Father had several inquiries out, and nothing ever came of them. Marriages of State take time. I can’t imagine we can do this quickly.” He tensed, waiting to see what the council would say in response to that. He didn’t say that the reason for the stagnating negotiations was his own refusal to enter into them. His heart and his hand were already bound to Iduna in a ceremony all their own in the forest on a night when the northern lights danced their approval.

“You’re already twenty-five, Your Majesty.” Captain Calder rubbed a hand over his eyes. “We could skip all that.”

Agnarr looked at him, wondering what he meant. He knew he had to provide heirs, that it was the only way to make his small kingdom feel secure again after the mist closed off the north with the better part of their Army missing in the forest. But until he could find a way to make Iduna his queen, he would not marry.

Elias said she remembered nothing but her name, and even that took two days before she could recall it with any certainty. She was still physically recovering and his sixteen-year-old sister Linnea stayed with her throughout the day. Iduna had insisted on doing housework to earn her keep but Linnea convinced her that it was an affront to the good name of Calder, and that she must recover slowly and at peace.

Agnarr was relieved that her memory was as altered as the trolls had said it would be. If she didn’t know she was Northuldra, no one else would either. She would stay safe. But selfishly, he also mourned. If she didn’t remember anything, she wouldn’t remember him.

He longed to hold her hand again as they watched a sunset from the top of a rocky cliff. The scent of cloudberries on her fingers as she pressed them to his lips, the wind softly wrapping them in a current of crisp air. To laugh over shared memories of how he had fallen into the river when they first met, how they stayed up talking by the village fire on summer nights as bright as noon.

Captain Calder cleared his throat and Agnarr realized his attention had wandered. He nodded so the captain would continue. “My daughter loves the story I learned while sailing to France, of the king there who ordered a ball be hosted for his son the prince to find a bride. All of the unmarried women in the kingdom were invited to meet the prince and his bride was selected from them.”

Lord Hannesel laughed, a short bark that startled the other council members. “It would allow us to avoid the delicate and months-long process of communicating with the other kingdoms. We can call it an act of healing for our land. We announce that to secure the line of Arendelle, the king will take a bride from our own kingdom.”

Captain Calder looked at Agnarr, asking permission. He felt the eyes of the rest of the council as well. He sighed. “Fine. Let’s proceed.”

As the council discussed plans for invitations and the proper way to communicate their intentions internationally, Agnarr stayed silent. He thought of how his father might have run this meeting, eager to stoke the violence between Northuldra and Arendelle, still angry about Northuldra’s rejection of a dam and their resistance to formal relations even after seven years of emissaries and goodwill visits. He felt a wave of relief and then one of guilt. Being free of his father was the only good that had come from the battle. And yet, it still did not allow him to be with Iduna. The chaos had robbed her of her memory and thrust him into kingship.

He thought of how trying it would be to shake so many hands and dance with so many ladies while his heart longed for Iduna. Perhaps he could find a way for her to attend, to make her his choice? He thought of sending a dress for Iduna, with a note that she was to wear it to the ball, a mystery as great as the presence of fairy godmothers on the continent. They could be introduced and dance and no one would be suspicious if he chose the beautiful woman, recently rescued by the king’s best friend. Valencia had a princess who had washed up on their shore, and no one thought worse of Prince Erik for it. The council could even frame it as a sign of Arendelle’s strength - not needing to marry their king for a military alliance or riches.

His heart soared at the thought, but then he thought of Iduna unconscious in his arms, her head bruised and the troll’s hands over her, telling him that the price for her healing was her memory. How could he seek her out but not tell her who she was? How could he tell her who she was without putting her life in danger?

She was safe at the Calder’s house. And as king, he would do all he could do ease the fear and anger his citizens had for Northuldra. He would bring the leaders of the lynch mobs to justice, he would make it known that though their troops were trapped in the mist, it wasn’t clear that anyone had been killed besides his father. He would do all he could to keep her safe. And that would have to be enough.

****

Linnea tossed dresses out of the closet, a pile of brightly colored frocks that seemed to float before they fell onto the bed.

“See? I have so many! Father always brings some home when he travels! So wherever you’re from, I bet there will be one in here that feels comfortable to you! And you simply must go to the ball. You’ve been sad and lonely for too long. A ball is just the thing to lift your spirits.”

Linnea hugged one of the dresses to herself. It was a shade of pale yellow that made her dark hair and skin look even more striking than usual. Iduna reached to touch the silk of one dress, the muslin of another. She rubbed the stiff boning of a petticoat that stood on the bed like the skirt itself was sitting down for a visit with them.

“I think…I don’t think I wore dresses.”

Linnea laughed. “What did you wear? Breeches? Pantaloons? I think your head must not be healed quite yet.”

Iduna shook her head, then gingerly touched it. “No, that’s not right either.” She sighed, frustrated.

“Time for tea then, and perhaps the krumkake I saw Mother hide away for Father. The ball isn’t for another week. That’s plenty of time to find the outfit that will make the King mad with desire.”

***

The lanterns were lit from Market Square to the Castle Courtyard. The black buntings and veils of mourning had been lifted in favor of sprays of crocuses and wheat, a reminder that Arendelle still stood, that it had a future of hope.

Agnarr kissed hands and said his greetings and danced with the ladies. He didn’t step on any toes and made sure the refreshments were well stocked and that he could guide them to the food when the affections of any particular woman became too much.

Because he didn’t plan to pick a bride tonight. He could follow the direction of the council to host a ball, and he certainly owed a lot to Captain Calder. But he could not choose a queen while Iduna breathed the same air, was in the same city, while she needed him in ways she didn’t even know and he needed her in a million ways he could name but didn’t because they had to remain strangers. If she came tonight he planned to nod, smile, and look elsewhere for a dance partner.

But then he saw her.

She was on the arm of Captain Calder, Elias behind them with his fiancée Thea, and Linnea linking arms with her mother next to them. The herald announced them all together as “The Calder Family and Guests!” The orchestra played a merry tune and he was vaguely aware of Lord Hannesel at his elbow, complaining about a missive he had received from the Southern Isles. Agnarr left him and walked toward Iduna, an unsteady feeling in him like the first time he climbed with the Earth Giants’ help. He bowed to her and ignored Elias’s eyes, certain they held warnings or judgement or both. She didn’t curtsey until Linnea whispered in her ear, and then stumbled through it, her cheeks reddening and her movements awkward. Agnarr was relieved to see that her face was no longer bruised. He held out a hand and she placed hers in his.

“Welcome to the Kingdom of Arendelle. I was so glad to hear of your rescue and recovery.”

Iduna attempted a curtsey again, this time more fluid in her motion. “Thank you, Your Highness. I’m most grateful to the Calders.”

The sounds of the orchestra swelled, or perhaps it was his own heart, but soon his hands were on her hand and waist, asking her for a dance and she placed hers on his shoulders in reply. Their eyes met and he saw her deep intake of breath. Did she remember? Was she remembering? She faltered in her steps.

“Would you mind if we sat down for a bit? I find I’m tired quite quickly these days, perhaps my injuries aren’t as healed as I had hoped.”

Agnarr apologized immediately, hating himself for not noticing her struggle. He walked them past the refreshment table and saw Elias dancing with Thea, his adoring eyes so focused on her that he didn’t see Agnarr escort Iduna away from the dancing crowds. He led her to a private garden where he ushered her to a bench by a pool of water. As she sat down, she kicked off her shoes and sighed.

“You’ve heard of me I suppose? The house guest who was rescued from pirates? I’m afraid I don’t remember the daring tale of my rescue, or anything else for that matter.” She laughed, and he was relieved that her laughter sounded like he remembered, not tinged with bitterness. “I’m probably the least interesting person to talk to here tonight. I know absolutely nothing about Arendelle or its ports or its trade or its harvest or even about the frightful sea battle I survived that would surely be a good tale. I know nothing that could intrigue you or capture your interest. I hardly know what I find interesting!”

He couldn’t help it. He reached for her hand and squeezed. “Then you’re the perfect person to talk to. Everyone else here is vying for my attention and a proposal. It’s exhausting. Perhaps we can talk for a while?”

She smiled, and it was like he could breathe again. The wind rushed around them and for a moment he thought she remembered too.

“Yes, let’s.”

He wanted to clutch her to his chest and murmur words of love, to run fingers through her hair, once wild. Instead he squeezed her hand and said “Good. Now tell me. Does Elias sneak out to meet Thea at night as much as his mother fears?”

She laughed again and he thought how wonderful it was to hear his favorite sound in the world once more.

***

When the clock struck midnight, they were still talking. She jumped at the chimes and put a hand to her cheek. “Oh! The Calders planned to leave now. I should go find them. I still don’t know the kingdom well, I would surely be lost if I left on my own.”

Agnarr reached down to where she had kicked off her shoes, bending low to pick them up. He kneeled in front of her with the shoe in his hand. “May I?”

Iduna untucked her feet from under her skirts and soon his hand was on her heel and ankle, gently placing the shoe on one foot and then the other. Iduna shivered a bit and he realized he was still holding her foot, still looking in her eyes. He stood.

“Are your shoes not comfortable, that you take them off when you sit down?”

She stood as well, taking his proffered arm. “The Calders are kind and had new shoes made for me. But they feel strange on my feet. I’m not sure where I’m from or what shoes I used to wear, but I am certain they weren’t dancing slippers made of canvas and covered in satin.”

“Perhaps you would allow me to take you to the cobbler, to have some others made. Reindeer hide boots are a specialty here, and I would like for you to see the best of Arendelle.”

Iduna smiled, ducking her head, a redness to her cheeks as she answered. “I believe I already have.”

***

Agnarr took Iduna to the cobbler the following day, on a tour of the wheat fields the next, and to examine the clock tower from the inside on the third. Elias gave him looks of warning each time he came to call on her at the house, but Agnarr was adept at using his guards or his schedule as a means to avoid the conversation that Elias clearly wanted to have with him. He knew it was a conversation he should at least have with himself – What are you doing? How can this end well? Shouldn’t you let her build a new life here, apart from you? Apart from the havoc your people have brought upon hers? But when he was with Iduna, it was like breathing the air again after suffocating. He told himself he was making sure she was acclimating well, that he had her best interests at heart. That he was fulfilling vows they had made to each other.

On the fourth day, he was prevented from calling on her because of a council meeting. He had arranged for the castle kitchens to send chocolates and farikal and arrived at the meeting late after agonizing over what kind of a note to send with the basket.

“Congratulations, Your Majesty!” Lord Hannesel greeted him with a clap on the back and a large smile. “We’re already drafting the announcements.”

Captain Calder puffed up proudly. “I’m delighted to know that my suggestion worked. And with our own houseguest as the bride! What a lovely and lucky girl. Linnea sighs all day over the romance of it all.”

Agnarr stuttered in his reply, unsure of what to say. “N – no, I haven’t…”

Lord Hannesel clapped a hand on his back again. “King Agnarr, we promised the people – we promised the world - that you would find a bride. And it seems you have. You spent the entire evening with one young woman, and have seen her every day since. If you haven’t asked her yet, you should.”

Other business was discussed, but Agnarr could hardly pay attention. He could marry Iduna! The council wanted him to marry Iduna! But just as quickly as the joy rose in his chest, a dark cloud of fear covered it and pushed it down. How could he marry her when she didn’t remember who he was? Who they had been and still were to each other?

***

Agnarr and Captain Calder went to the captain’s house as soon as the meeting ended, the words of congratulations ringing in Agnarr’s ears. He found Iduna sitting outside in the garden with Linnea, who was quickly ushered away by her father. Agnarr sat down next to Iduna and after a moment’s hesitation, took her hand. He felt braver at the touch. Iduna squeezed it and smiled at him.

“I like this house. I would like a home that feels this way. It’s so full of love and affection. I hope I had this once. And I hope to have it again.”

Agnarr gripped her hand more tightly and cleared his throat. “I would like that too. With you. If you are not yet recovered, we can wait. I will wait for you. But I want to give you that - a home with love and affection. Would you- would you marry me?” His voice caught as he said the words, remembering the Northuldra wedding they had witnessed together, how Iduna had whispered the translation to him and he had been filled with the desire to say those words to her in front of their own fathers, to promise her a warm fire and heavy furs, plentiful food in winter and a hand to hold in the summer sun. How he had asked her to marry him later that night and she had hugged him so tightly it knocked both of them over, their laughter echoing through the trees and causing a rush of ptarmigan and quail to hurry out of the brush, roused by the sound of her shouting “Yes!”.

Iduna reached for his other hand and squeezed it too. “Yes. I would like that. I would like that very much.” She leaned forward and he was amazed that the heat of her body, the scent of her, was the same even so far from the forest. He tried to erase his memory, to make it vanish like soldiers in the mist, to make this their first passionate kiss. He tried to think of this as the first time he found bliss with her lips on his, the sweetness and thrill of it so welcome after weeks of fear and terror. But he remembered being in a cave by a quiet stream, words said solemnly in handfast, his body covering hers, both eager in the pledge and the promise of it. A vow he would never break, but would renew time and time again.

***

There was so much about her identity that was uncertain. She didn’t know her favorite dessert or how to take her tea, which hymn to select for the ceremony. But this she knew. She wanted to be his wife. It was almost like remembering. The feel of his hand in hers, the press of their lips; his every touch felt both thrilling and reassuring. Sometimes when she was with him, she had half-memories of the time before her injury. The sensation of leaning into his body as they walked underneath the trees brought back a sense of comfort and peace, the wind swirling leaves around their feet brought a rush of joy and the desire to run and feel the strong gusts of it against her face. But even though those memories couldn’t have been of him or made with him, they made her feel closer to him somehow.

Linnea was enchanted by the news, clapping her hands and falling back on her bed with a sigh. “What a way to start your new life – Queen Iduna! Perhaps I should see about getting some pirates to help with my matchmaking!”

Elias hadn’t seemed pleased, but then, nothing much pleased him as he grew increasingly eager to wed his fiancée. He was probably just upset that the royal wedding was taking place so quickly while his engagement had been set at a year, a request from Thea’s parents so they could set up a new house for them as dowry.

She couldn’t explain to Linnea or Elias that she wasn’t excited to be queen, that it was a bit overwhelming to help lead a country when she still wasn’t sure which one she was even from. But the safety and attraction she felt for Agnarr defied all logic. Why was she so eager to take his hand, to talk in the moonlight until the first rays of sun reflected on the sea and he had to hurry to the castle to prepare for meetings and petitions and ceremonies? She wasn’t sure who she was, but she felt the most like herself when she was with him.

Mrs. Calder had urged her to live in the present since she couldn’t remember her past. She had encouraged her affections for Agnarr after the ball, though she told her she would always be welcome at their home as a daughter, and that she should only marry the king if she wanted to. Mrs. Calder also spoke of the good man Agnarr was, and how she had similarly trusted the kindness of her husband before she had known him very long, watching how he treated his sailors and her family while conducting trade. She talked about growing up in Trinidad, not accepted into society fully, not fully rejected. And how sailing to a completely new country was both a thrill and a terror, but one that led her to much happiness. At the end of their talk she had hugged Iduna tightly and told her to call her by her name, Elsa. Iduna thought This is a mother’s love.

***

The Calders hosted a small dinner for the royal couple the night before the kingdom-wide wedding and celebration the following day. Elias had taken Agnarr by the arm and dragged him into the shadows before letting him come into the house.

“Ag, you know this is crazy, right? You have to tell her. Tell her who she is and who you are to each other. Tell her about your secret marriage and your plan to make your father accept it.”

Agnarr shrugged him off, looking around him. “Don’t speak of that! It is still not safe for her.” He hissed in a low voice, glancing at his guard who stood nearby, hopefully out of hearing, but watching the pair with open curiosity. “What else can I do? The council demands that I wed. Is it better to marry someone I don't love while I still love Iduna? Doesn't that ruin an innocent life? Three lives?"

Elias shook his head. “I just know it’s wrong. It’s a hard way to start a marriage. Or in this case, continue one.”

Agnarr was firm. “I have to marry for the kingdom now. And she is the only one I will marry. There is no time for anything else. I can fix this. It won’t be a secret forever.”

Despite Elias’s cold welcome, the dinner was filled with laughter and joyful teasing. Mrs. Calder lamented that there was going to be one less person in the house to help her prevent Elias from sneaking out for nightly visits to Thea’s house.

“I promise you, Elias, if I have a grandchild born one minute before nine months after your wedding, the full wrath of the Arendelle navy will be dispatched upon you.”

Captain Calder choked a bit on his wine, laughing. “What’s that dear?”

Linnea tried a sip of the wine and made a face. “Oh Mother, please. We know Elias was born on a ship while you and Father sailed to Arendelle from Trinidad. You didn’t even make it to port for the wedding reception!”

Thea and Elias laughed, Agnarr and Iduna joining in with hands clasped under the table. Mrs. Calder put a hand to her chest in an exaggerated gesture of horror. "We were married on the ship! The wedding reception was just a formality to celebrate what had already happened on the ship!"

Linnea snorted. “Oh, we know what already happened on the ship!”

***

Later, when Elias walked Thea home and Agnarr walked with Iduna in the garden, he pulled at his collar, adjusted his sleeves and let go of her hand to wipe the sweat on his jacket. “I’m sure you’ve heard talk of heirs and securing the line of succession, but I want you to know that I don’t expect that, certainly not tomorrow on our wedding night. We can wait until your memory returns, or until you feel more settled. Or…uh…never.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. “I am happy to continue holding your hand and remaining your friend. I’m sure this has all been so much. We have time to get to know each other and for you to get to know yourself.”

Iduna again had that half-remembering sensation, hands joined and kisses on skin, promises and the trust of a long friendship. “I don’t want to wait. I would love to start a family with you. To have children. It would make me feel less alone, like I have a place here.” Agnarr put a hand on her cheek and she nestled into it, a heavy sigh of satisfaction escaping like smoke from the hearth.

“You will always have a place with me.”

Iduna closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his hand on her cheek, but then opened them as a thought came to her. "I don't even know if I'm a virgin. I know I’m not...with child. That has been made quite clear in this past month. But I can’t tell you about my past at all. I don’t know what’s expected of a queen, but I know purity is."

Agnarr pulled her closer, tucking his chin above her head, his hand running up and down her spine, calming her. “It doesn't matter.” His hands paused and he corrected himself. “I mean, of course it matters, your life and experiences matter. But I will cherish you no matter your past. Even if you were a pirate. I've pledged myself to you and I meant it.”

She laughed at that and they walked back inside, ready to make promises in front of the kingdom.

***

He brought a bottle of wine into their bedchamber, but she waved it off.

“My head has already been too altered. I want to know all of this, all of you, and to remember it clearly.”

She turned her back to him and when he stayed at the door, clutching the wine glasses and bottle, still and uncertain, she spoke over her shoulder. “Help me with the fastenings.” He could see the slight flush in her cheeks. It was a more enthralling red than the Bordeaux in his hands, one that was already sharpening his senses rather than dulling them.

“The maids put me in this dress; I don’t know how to get out of it.”

He set down the glasses and the wine and walked towards her slowly, deliberately, pausing at her sharp intake of breath when he put a hand on her shoulder. He kissed her there, and then began on the buttons that ran the length of her back. He moved cautiously, unfamiliar with the pearl buttons, not wanting to tear the lace fasteners, and waiting for her breath to sound even and calm. He kissed her each time a button was undone – on her shoulder, on her neck, on her ear and paused when she shuddered. He smiled faintly. That had always been her favorite spot and it comforted him to know it still pleased her. When he got to her waist he untied the strings of her petticoats, his fingers working the knots while he nuzzled his head into her neck. He whispered into her ear.

“Should I keep going?”

“I think I can step out of it now.” Her voice had a husky quality that he recalled too keenly, its effect on him immediate.

He helped her slide the dress over her hips, the yards of silk and heavy layers falling away and she shivered as it pooled on the ground. She turned to face him and shivered again, a tremble that ran the length of her body. She stood in her chemise, hugging herself tightly, and there was a moment when they were both very still and quiet, looking at one another. Agnarr was trying to control his breathing, to keep any expression of the desperate want he felt off his face, determined not to frighten her. He put out a hand and she took it and stepped out of the dress.

“Are you alright?” He swallowed.

She nodded. “Yes. Just cold. Warm me?”

He reached to cup her cheek with his hand and she turned her mouth to kiss it, then took it and placed it on her chest, holding it so he could feel her. His heartbeat quickened.

“I like when you touch me.” Her voice was soft and he was unable to tear his gaze from her mouth. To feel anything more than her heat burning through the thin cloth that separated him from her skin. “You don’t have to be so slow. I want this too.”

His intention had been to go slowly, to just sleep with her in his arms, to ease her through their transition from acquaintances to newlyweds. But the smell of her hair and the curve of her body against his all night was no longer enough. He wanted this too. He had ached for it ever since he had been told she was safe and whole, save her memory. He had missed the comfort of her warmth and the wordless, gentle love and acceptance she had communicated through their act of joining together during their Before.

He moved closer and kissed her, running his tongue along her lips and then breaking away to kiss all the places he knew would earn a shudder of pleasure, a gasp of excitement, a plea for more. He could prevent his words from betraying that he knew her, but their bodies spoke to each other in a primal way that was heady and familiar. Mouths found favorite places to kiss and nip, hands instinctively knew where to gently press or tightly grip. They turned as they kissed, rotating towards the bed and soon the back of his knees hit against it. He lifted her up and laid her down, then undid his buttons before joining her there.

Later, with her head on his bare chest and his arm around her waist, she stroked his arm and said something that made his heart remember what he had tried to forget.

“I don't think I could have done that before. I surely would have remembered.”

***

“How the fuck is she already pregnant, Agnarr?”

Agnarr looked at Elias. His friend’s mouth was in a tight line, no smile in his eyes. “The usual way.”

“Does she know? Did you tell her?”

Agnarr’s silence was the answer and Elias hit the table in frustration.

“Don’t forget, I’m your king.”

“Yes, you’re my king. And a much better man than your father, or so I thought. Is there something about the crown that makes you forget other people have feelings worth considering? Should I be impressed you waited until her injuries were healed before you took her to bed?” He scoffed, derision dripping from his voice. “Such self-restraint.”

Agnarr glared at him. “She was eager to start a family. I didn’t pressure her. She wanted this too.”

“This is wrong. And it gets worse each day you don’t tell her. The lie grows bigger and when your wife finds out, the lie will be so big between you, you won’t even be able to see each other over the chasm it created. You can’t let Iduna think you don’t know her, that she doesn’t know you.”

Agnarr’s face again took on the familiar lines Elias knew, ones of worry and self-doubt and concern. “But she doesn’t know me.”

***

On walks in the woods and the gardens he had to pretend he didn’t know which smells she’d like best or which animal she would delight in spotting the most. And it was a pang in his heart each time she had to be told the names of trees and flowers and herbs once so familiar to her that she could brew tea with them, create a poultice, play a prank with itchy nettles on her interfering brothers.

It was easier, now that she was pregnant. Everything was new to both of them. Her cravings, the way her body grew and changed, the names they discussed, the fluttering of kicks and the wonder of a life forming inside of her. A new world was opening before them and they could enter it at the same time, equally novice, equally eager, equally delighted to turn two into three.

#agduna #frozen #mama and papa arendelle #king agnarr #queen iduna #agnarr #iduna #baby elsa #amnesia AU #vanished #frozen fan fic #blame the-spastic-fantastic for the wedding night scene #I'm still blushing #and I took out a paragraph #to be made available upon request lol

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