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gothamcityangst · 2 years

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Ok so i heard that in DC vs vampires Riddler became one! Omg! Ok ok so headcanons for vampire!riddler! Please!

WAIT LEGIT??? AAAAA. Time to go look around in the comic store to find the boy. I hope his design is good. That's all I want. (Just stating this now I don't know how the comics do vampirism so I'm just doing a general mix of vampire lore.)

Headcanons include:

If he keeps his sentience as a vampire - Ed hates blood. That's why he often leaves the killing to his death traps or electrocution. He hates the sticky feeling, the smell and the mess that it creates. Now he's in a situation where he has to drink it regularly.

I'd imagine he'd try experimenting with keeping blood in the fridge and saving it for a later date. Older blood is the equivalent of flat soda (Think Lady Dimitrescu's "He's starting to go a little stale") so while he isn't happy about drinking it he'll do so for his own comfort. Naturally, he'll act like he's just being more refined than those savages who tear peoples necks out.

If Ed doesn't keep his sentience - Ed's so used to being able to control his urges. Now he's impulsive. He'll attack others without thinking and can't stop himself. It's not so bad when it's the heroes but when it's the other rogues he can't afford to have them as enemies.

The one thing he fears more than anything is losing his mind and like a car crash in slow motion he knows it's happening but he can't stop it.

His bloodlust gets too bad. His vision starts to blur. His stomach is swirling and is in agonising pain. A deep hunger is setting in and there's only one thing that can stop it.

Some additional shipping headcanons under the read more. This au poses a lot of interesting shipping scenarios.

Scriddler - Ed gets bitten and the both of them know he's going to turn. Jon tries to suggest everything to delay the enviable. If Ed got bitten on the wrist he'll suggest they cut off his hand. When Ed tells him it's probably not going to work he doesn't want to hear it. Ed knows what will happen and he refuses to become such a mindless killing creature. He'd hand Jon a gun and ask him to do the unthinkable. Jon says there's still time for him to come up with some kind of drug to fix the vampirism. They both know he can't.

Riddlebird - Oswald is stubborn. He keeps Edward as a sort of personal killing machine but also he wants to keep him close. Penguin keeps him chained like Grundy in Arkham city but always makes sure he's kept well fed with bodies and fresh meat. It's not what he'd like but he'd rather have Ed as undead than permanently dead.

Riddlebat - I'd imagine Bruce would find Eddie too late and he's already turned. Bruce would keep Ed in a special cell in the Batcave as he would desperately look for a cure. He feels awful but he has to keep the hope that one day he can find a way to fix Eddie. He has to keep that hope. There are some nights he'll fall asleep in front of the glass and Alfred has to fetch him a blanket.

#G-C-A #Riddler #Edward Nygma #Scriddler #Riddlebird #edward nashton

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thedreammweaver · 3 years

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That Would Suffice to Make a Formidable Monster Chapter 7 (Burton-Schumacherverse Sci-Fi Horror au, riddlebird, sea monster/alien!Oswald)

Chapter 6 Chapter 8

Warnings: Thalassophobia tw, violent major character death, blood tw, viscera, gun violence

Bruce had been wracked with guilt all night and decided against letting Oswald be ‘dealt with.’ Harvey was getting equipment ready when Bruce came into the room where they kept diving suits.

“I can’t let you do this, Harvey. It’s murder.”

Harvey scoffed “Like how our friend Oswald murdered that oil rig crew.”

“That was practically self defense, he was probably scared-“

“Oh now you’re making excuses for it...unbelievable.” Harvey angrily continued getting stuff ready.

“I said I can’t let you do this.” Bruce went over to take the highly powered harpoon Harvey was intending to use but stopped when Harvey drew a gun on him.

“I’ll do what I have to in order to protect this country and this planet from that thing.” He said flatly.

“And I’ll do what I have to in order to stop you from taking what I consider to be an innocent life.” Bruce said continuing to advance. Without much hesitation Harvey shot the other man in the thigh. Bruce was sent to the floor, writhing in pain. Selina and Victor ran in, having heard the gunshot. Selina ran over to Bruce “What the hell have you done?!” She would’ve lunged at Harvey if he didn’t have a gun pointed at her. “I gave him a reality check. Does anyone else want to side with the monster out there?” He was met with silence “I didn’t think so.”

“So how do you think I should go about this?” Harvey asked Victor as he was getting into a diving suit. Pamela was going with him to make sure he didn’t accidentally harpoon an innocent creature. Victor felt bad about even answering but he didn’t want to face Harvey’s wrath “I don’t know, I think...I think for something this big with so much padding around vital organs the weakest point would be the eyes or ears..maybe the temples.” he said. Harvey nodded and continued getting dressed.

Ed woke up from his sleep with a start, in a cold sweat. He felt like his head was being filled with stuff he couldn’t and shouldn’t know, cosmic things he couldn’t comprehend. He got up to go shower off but as he entered the tiny bathroom attached to the small sleeping quarters he hit his head on the door frame. Usually he could just barely fit under without bending down. He rubbed his head as he pondered, had he gotten taller?

Ed still felt weird as he made it to the main room, he’d forgotten his glasses but found he could somehow see fine without them. “Where are Pam and Harvey?” He asked.

Selina looked down “They’re out..taking care of Oswald.”

“And you just let them go?!”

“Harvey shot Bruce for trying to stop him, what were we supposed to do?”

Ed paused “Wait. Really??”

Bruce winced as Victor was tending to the wound in his leg. Even though Ed was seeing it with his own eyes he could barely believe it had come to this.

The crew had moved to the main room, Ed was trying to distract himself from what could be happening to Oswald. That got especially hard when a message came up on the computer.

‘Why?’

“Ignore it.” Bruce ordered as he saw the concern in the others’ faces. The message started repeating rapidly until the computer crashed. “I think he did it.” Bruce mumbled, everything felt a little too still now. Bruce sighed in relief as he saw Harvey swimming back in the distance “Yeah, he’s coming back now.” Bruce said pointing out the window to the spot where he saw his colleague. Though as Harvey got closer it was clear something was off. He was indeed getting closer but he wasn’t moving and half of him didn’t seem to come out of the darkness no matter how close he got. “Oh god...” Bruce uttered as it became clear what was wrong. Only the top half of Harvey was floating back towards the ship, his intestines falling out in the water behind him. Selina gagged but managed not to vomit. Soon a shark swam by with the other half of Harvey in its mouth, another one came by to seize the top half and swim off. There were more sharks starting to circle, Harvey’s corpse having essentially chummed the water. Selina went over to the radio “Pamela, are you alright??” She could see that Pam’s vitals seemed fine, a little spooked but alive, Selina had to be sure though “Pammy, please tell me you’re okay.”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Selina breathed a sigh as she heard Pamela’s voice.

“Where are you?”

“I hid in some kelp.”

“Okay, well, get back here. And be careful there’s sharks everywhere.” Selina warned.

Pam went to swim out of the kelp but some of it was wrapped around her leg. She huffed “I know, I know, I love you too but I have to go.” She tried to wiggle out but it wouldn’t unravel. She bent over to try and free herself with her hands “Please don’t make me cut you.” She mumbled, genuinely worried it would come to that but luckily she managed to get her leg out without hurting the plant. Relief was counteracting the anxiety she had about making her way back to the ship and she was starting to feel hopeful as she turned around and was met with...teeth.

Selina was looking out the front window anxiously, hoping Pam would be back soon. Bruce, against Victor’s wishes, was still not resting and was looking outside the front window as well. Soon the sharks reappeared outside but one had something in it’s mouth. It only took a few seconds for it to be obvious the thing was Pam, still struggling against the shark but not being able to bring herself to hurt it. Selina screamed and hid her face in Bruce’s chest as another shark came up and ripped half of Pam away from the shark that was carrying her. Bruce went over to the console about to try to get them out of there but he couldn’t before an alert came up informing them of leaks. As Bruce pulled up a diagram of the ship that would show damages it was clear that a panel had been pulled away on the side as well as some pipes. He was questioning why Oswald would only rip a small part of the ship when he could just crush them and it occurred to him that he wanted them to die slowly.

The group had relocated to the lab, wanting to be away from where the ship was flooding and away from the front which they figured wasn’t safe anymore since Oswald was obviously nearby and pissed. They couldn’t stay in the lab for long as the break in the pipes was making the sinks leak and had already filled them. Bruce was trying to keep everyone calm as he suggested they try to make their way to the two mini-subs the ship was fitted with, each could hold two people so it was enough to get everyone out. Selina rolled her eyes “Yeah right, like that thing is gonna let us leave.”

Ed was leaning on the table, he felt woozy.

Bruce was firm “We still have to try, I’m not going to let anyone else die-“

As if on cue Ed dropped to the floor and started writhing. Victor ran over to him trying to assess what was the matter. “What’s wrong with him??” Bruce asked. By Ed’s gasping and clutching at his throat Victor could make a guess but wasn’t sure “I-I don’t know, maybe some sort of anaphylaxis?”

“But we were all tested for allergies before we were sent down here, they wouldn’t have let him down if he had any.” Selina pointed out. Victor’s mind was doing gymnastics trying to figure out something to do before an insane idea popped into his mind. He hoisted Ed up and brought him over to the overflowing sink before shoving his head in it. “What the hell are you doing?!” Bruce ran over to shove Victor away from Ed and was about to take Ed out of the water before he was interrupted “Stop, look!” Selina said, pointing at Ed’s abdomen which was rising and falling normally indicating he was breathing. After a few moments Ed came out of the water, shaking it out of his hair. “I feel fine now..” Ed mumbled, a bit weakly.

#oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #the penguin #the riddler #riddlebird

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esperata · 2 years

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In a little over a week my end of term exam will be done and I might actually be able to get back to some writing. With that in mind, I’m refreshing myself on what projects I wanted to do. Featuring some plot ideas for hattercrow, octogoblin and riddlebird under the cut.

HatterCrow

Pumpkin King Based on freakxwannaxbe’s post with Jervis in the role of the curious youngster and Jonathan as the supernatural creature. I have actually written this scenario but wanted to expand on it some way. My aim was to post this at Halloween, whether I’ve done more to it or not.

Quadrille A five-times fic featuring Jervis getting dosed with fear toxin. Maybe halfway done. I certainly have concepts for each part and have written out a chunk of the first three. It’d be easy enough to finish this with a few dedicated writing sessions.

Every Breath You Take An Arkhamverse project that I’d love to complete. These versions are a degree more twisted than, for example, their btas counterparts and that makes the dynamics more intricate to work with. I really want to do justice to this one. Its begun but I have no idea how long it will end up being.

Haunted House Something fun with the btas dork squad crew, and featuring some riddlebird on the side. Exactly as the title implies, the boys go to a Haunted House. Events unfold from there. This ought to be a one shot that I could wrap up quite easily.

OctoGoblin

Mermay Yes, this is not going to be posted in time for mermay (this year). Well underway but I ran out of time. Featuring Otto as an octopus-man in the laboratory of Oscorps and Norman increasingly under pressure to dissect him for science. A smattering of Harry bonding with his dad as well.

The Hands On Approach Mostly smut. Busy CEO Norman visits an exclusive club for some tactile relief. His thoughts all too fixated on the scientist working for him, Otto. Set in TSSM version although I have not finished watching that series yet. Started and will be finished without difficulty.

Suit A random idea I had while watching TSSM. With a corporate event coming up requiring Otto’s presence, Norman insists on buying him an appropriate suit to wear. That’s about as far as I got but I’d still like to conclude it somehow.

Fate Or Something Like It Because the idea of time travel and paradoxes intrigues me (even while it gives me a headache) I sketched out my own thoughts on what happens when, post NWH, Norman and Otto go back to their respective times. Quite complex but I would love to get this written up properly sometime.

RiddleBird

The Winner Takes It All Another Arkhamverse fic, set sometime after the first. Mostly smut but with an underlying power play as you’d expect from these two. Started writing this and have copious notes so its definitely on the cards to get finished. I always enjoy coming back to this version.

Batman vs Dracula I had a good chat about this idea with a friend on discord and it essentially would be reimagining the movie with Riddler instead of Joker. I do enjoy reworking canon like that and 2004 riddlebird is one of my favourites so I’d really like to try this. Plus I would have an excuse to rewatch the film XD

Living Doll Of all my half-planned ideas, this one has lingered as a constant for longest. Using the BurtonSchumacher pairing and setting Oswald in the title roll. The gothic vibe seems fit here. There is something very appealing to me about this and I would like to develop it further.

Museum Meeting Another enduring idea after seeing a few comic panels giving me ideas. What if Ed and Oswald actually met when they were kids? Both outcast oddballs with a penchant for visiting museums and art galleries. Its a cute visual to me and I’d enjoy building upon it.

These are just a few pulled together and I have other ideas floating around (including my ongoing NaNoWriMo project). I like hearing feedback on things so feel free to drop a comment if anything strikes you.

#writing #hattercrow #octogoblin #riddlebird

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esperata · 2 years

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We’re now in December and ten days away from the start of riddlebird week which I really hope to contribute to. I have ideas for the seven prompts but they’re in various stages from haven’t-started to finished. Procrastinating by describing the details below the cut.

TLC The first prompt is for ‘tender loving care’ and I immediately thought of an idea I’d begun a while ago (probably over a year actually). This utitilised the comic versions of the characters with Oswald visiting Ed in Arkham and finding the standard of care sub-par. My concept would have Oswald arranging his release to monitor his health himself. In all likelihood I’ll only get an opening chapter done for this but it will be something. Overall the story would be very focused on mental health issues and I can’t do that in such limited time.

Betrayal This prompt had me stumped for a while because in all honesty, I don’t like writing such angst. It wasn’t until I came at the prompts from the angle of which versions I wanted to write that I hit upon an idea. I’d always been intrigued by what Oswald’s reaction to Ed’s fate in the Telltale series might have been, assuming they had a relationship pre-game. If I stretch the betrayal definition to how Ed was treated by his comrades then this would work here.

AU Alternate Universe. I’ll admit this feels like cheating somewhat but I already had my Santa Claus AU I wanted to continue so the timing fit perfectly. The first chapter is drafted so theoretically I can just post that for this prompt regardless of whether its finished overall. I do actually want to get the story finished in time for Christmas though because that’s when its most appropriate. Probably I’ll just do a seat-of-my-pants writing session to get this done. At least I have some notes from last year to work off.

Growing Old This is another prompt that fit really well with a concept I already had a note sheet for. At some point I’d toyed with the idea of writing the 60′s series version in their 60′s. Although I don’t have a strict plot in mind, it will be much more of a character piece. I’ve made a start on it and just need to commit to getting the rest finished. It may feel a bit more ‘all media’ since its not set in period but that’s alright.

Heist Again, a prompt that left me blank a while, just because its so open to anything. Literally any version would work here and once again it was when I looked at things from a ‘which version’ perspective that I decided on something. For this I chose Arkhamverse and actually just wrote out an entire one shot in one sitting. Hence this one is, broadly speaking, done.

Family Similarly to the previous prompt, this could have referred to several versions but I knew I wanted to do something with the 2004 cartoon and luckily for me that Oswald is already surrounded by found family. He has his birds and the Kabuki Twins, and I wanted to focus on how Ed reacts to being accepted into the group. Still toying with the idea of setting this during a Jewish holiday but I’m not sure if I can do that properly. As such I haven’t started it yet.

Big Reveal The last of the week’s prompts also fit with ideas and characters I already wanted to use. Naturally I don’t want to say too much about what I’m writing here because I don’t want to give away the reveal. I will say I’m using the Harley Quinn versions of the characters and its under way (although barely)

#writing #riddlebird #riddlebird week

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thedreammweaver · 3 years

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That Would Suffice to Make a Formidable Monster Chapter 2 (Burton-Schumacherverse Sci-Fi Horror au, riddlebird, sea monster/alien!Oswald)

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

Warnings: thalassophobia tw, dead animal

Ed yawned as he shuffled into the main room of the ship. “You didn’t sleep well either?” Bruce asked.

“No, there were these-“

“Vibrations all night, right?” Selina finished for him “Something is making a very loud noise out there. Victor is looking into it with Dent. Trying to run it through some translation software built off of other extra terrestrial encounters...there apparently have been other encounters...”

They were getting closer to the site where the oil rig had fallen and closer to the cave that had been opened by the drilling.

“If you ask me I think it’s nothing and they’re wasting their time.” Selina said, she was obviously trying to cover up some nervousness “Maybe it’s just a-“

“What the hell is that??” Bruce sat up in his chair a bit, pointing out the front window. In front of them was a blue whale, dead, it had a sort of crater in the side of it. “What happened to it?” Pamela hummed, mostly to herself.

“Let’s get out there and find out.” Bruce said, getting up.

“Is this a good time to mention that I’m not that great of a swimmer?” Ed asked, climbing out of the ship, back into the depths alongside Bruce and Pamela. “Chill out, Nygma. We’re doing more walking than swimming here.” Bruce said, making his way over to the whale, Pamela had already gotten over to the whale and was examining it. It wasn’t long before Ed and Bruce heard her shaky voice coming through the radios built into their helmets “Bruce, I..uh...I think this is a bite mark.”

Bruce scoffed “That’s insane there’s no animal big enough to take a huge chunk out of the side of a blue whale, hell, this wound is about forty feet wide.”

“I don’t think it was an animal.” Pamela said as Ed and Bruce got over to her. “This is a human bite.” She was running her hand along distinctive grooves in the side of the wound “It would have to be a human with sharp teeth but still there isn’t any marine animal with this jaw shape.”

As Pamela and Bruce argued about what was and wasn’t possible something caught Ed’s eye. One of the submarine lights was reflecting something- or a lot of something attached to a rock nearby. Ed made his way over to it. As he got closer he could see it was...eggs, covered in more of that black-green stuff they’d seen before, the flashlight on Ed’s helmet was illuminating more in the area but he just focused on the ones in front of him. They were oval shaped and a bit bigger than Ed’s hand. A lot of them looked to be white under the sticky substance but others appeared to be greyish or even black. Ed reached for one and it was surprisingly easy to pull out of the mass.

“Nygma, we’re going back in.” Bruce said.

“I found something. It looks like eggs..” Ed replied.

“Well, grab one and let’s go.”

For good measure Ed grabbed one of the grey ones as well and went to make his way back to the ship but found something was wrapped around his legs. When he looked down in appeared to be some kind of grey rope.

“What’s the hold up, Eddie?” Pamela asked.

“There’s like rope caught around- nevermind, I’m fine, I got it.” He’d managed to get the rope off of one of his legs but it was still attached to the other, he shrugged it off as he could just remove it once he was back inside.

Ed carefully set down the eggs before trying to change out of the diving suit, Pamela elected to come over and help lest he get tangled again, had to get the rope off of the equipment anyways. As Pamela grabbed what was around the leg off Ed’s suit she paused, studying it. “What?” Ed asked, getting the top part of the suit off. “I don’t think this is rope, it looks like- um...well it looks like hair.” Pamela mumbled. Ed looked down at it, studying it himself. It did indeed feel and look like a very long piece of wet grey hair.

“Great, so this thing sheds too.” Harvey huffed circling around the lab from one table where the hair was to another where Ed and Victor were looking the eggs over.

“I don’t know, these things could be unrelated.” Selina suggested.

“I doubt it.” Bruce muttered. “What even lays eggs that size?”

“Nothing I can think of.” Pamela said absently, transfixed on the foreign objects before them.

Victor was currently studying the grey egg that Ed carried in. He grabbed a scalpel “If something comes out of this and attaches to my face I give you permission to use my body for research.” He joked flatly, before cutting into the egg. As soon as he did a foul smell entered the room. Selina covered her nose and mouth, quickly running out. Bruce and Harvey were recoiling as well but felt some amount of duty to stay, Pamela was too invested to leave. “There is nothing in there,” Victor choked as he finished splitting it open “But it is definitely rotten.” He quickly took it over to an incinerator in the wall of the lab and disposed of it hoping the smell would soon clear out. He figured keeping it around for further inspection wasn’t worth the trouble if it smelled that bad. Ed, glad he picked up a grey one instead of a black one which no doubt smelled worse, had taken the liberty of cutting into the white egg which didn’t release any noxious odours but was empty as well. “I don’t get it.” Ed puzzled. He was about to pose a theory when Selina came back into the lab “There’s something I think you guys need to see.”

#oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #the penguin #the riddler #riddlebird

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thedreammweaver · 4 years

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You Are My Destiny (Burton-schumachervers riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort)

Warnings: blood, murder, violence, arkham stuff, insecurities mention, poor self image mention

“Are you sure we should be putting him in here with...you know.”

“Who? Nygma? C’mon, he’s harmless. Poor son of a bitch can’t even talk anymore I doubt he’ll be any help to this one.”

Ed listened attentively to the orderlies outside his cell from where he was laying on his bed where he always was. He was aware that Arkham was facing an issue where they had more patients then cells and were cramming two or three into one cell despite regulations. Ed figured he was about to get a new cell mate, he didn’t very much care though. He’d given up caring about things months ago, at least now he’d have something to watch. He didn’t look up as he heard his cell door open and something being shoved in before the door was closed very quickly.

Oswald growled angrily as he worked at ripping off the muzzle that had been forced on him,?once it was off he chucked it into the wall. Ed just watched the other man look around the room, presumably for anything he could use to escape. He knew who Oswald was and Oswald had heard of the riddler but they’d never crossed paths before now, what an odd way to meet. Oswald immediately ruled out the vent as a way to escape, knowing very well that he would never fit through even if he could reach. It was the same with the high window, even if he could get the bars off of the it was too small for him to fit through as well. He cursed his ample form and decided to instead inspect the ginger man laying on one of the beds. “So you’re the infamous Riddler, huh?” Ed only looked through Oswald, not making eye contact. “Damn, they really did a number on you..poor bastard.”

Over the next few days Ed payed close attention to Oswald though nobody was aware that Ed could pay close attention to anything anymore. He listened to Oswald rant about how it took a lot of care to properly make clothes for someone of his unique proportions otherwise there’s problems like the ones the hastily made striped jumpsuit he was in presented. Some of the seams had already started to give in places where it hugged his frame. He also complained about how the wide stripes made him look bigger, Ed didn’t think that but he’d gathered Oswald’s perception of his own appearance wasn’t the best. Ed wanted to tell the other man he was beautiful...but he couldn’t , that was a weird thing to think about a stranger and yet Ed thought it and thought it again. He always watched with great interest when the orderlies came to take Oswald for ‘therapy’. It took nearly five of them to do it, one of them almost always got bitten before they could force the muzzle on. Sedatives only seemed to make Oswald angrier, for someone of his short stature he could surprisingly hold his own in a fight. Ed missed Oswald when he was gone and was excited when he heard him being brought back down the hallway, he hadn’t felt excitement for the year and a half he’d been in Arkham besides when Chase Meridian came to see him...but that felt like decades ago. Ed was so intrigued by the shorter man’s habits, how he snored, how he twitched so much in his sleep, how he was a perfect mix of refined and crass. He was funny too, Ed forgot what funny felt like. Oswald must’ve felt comfortable around Ed cause he told him a lot. About his childhood, about himself, just a lot. Ed had started imagining they were best friends until it progressed to something more. When Oswald told stories of past romantic or sexual escapades Ed always imagined the person Oswald was speaking about was him, that’s when he realized he’d already started thinking of Oswald as a lover. The thought of Oswald being his made Ed feel and care and want, he never wanted that to stop.

It was night now, Oswald couldn’t sleep. He lined his flippers up with the moonlight coming through the small window and made a shadow puppet of a bat on the wall. Ed made the effort to turn his head to the wall to look. “Oh, you like that, huh?” He chuckled as he made the bat flap it’s wings and started mimicking bat noises. “I see without seeing...to me darkness is as clear as daylight...” Ed recalled to himself so quietly it barely qualified as a whisper, his voice weak from disuse. Oswald didn’t hear him over his self entertainment. Ed smiled softly, that was it, he had to make Oswald his, he couldn’t stand not to. While still watching the other man he reached under his bed and felt for the screw that held the leg of the bed to the metal frame. He began turning it with his fingers, it was difficult as due him being catatonic for so long and Arkham’s failure to administer frequent physical therapy Ed’s strength had somewhat deteriorated. He felt the screw dig and cut into his fingers but he kept turning as he watched Oswald get bored of the shadow puppetry and turn over to try and sleep.

“Alright, up we go, Nygma.” One of the orderlies said as they pulled Ed to his feet. “Fuck, why is he bleeding?” The other one said in disgust as he noticed the blood dripping from Ed’s fingers.

“I don’t know, must be biting himself or something, who cares.”

Ed was slumped down in the chair as the doctor ‘evaluated’ him. Really it was just routine, he didn’t actually care how Ed was doing. “How do you like you’re new cell mate, Edward?” He asked rhetorically, knowing Ed wouldn’t answer. “I hope, for your sake, that you won’t miss him when he’s gone tonight.” The doctor said, looking through files on his desk “Since I know you can keep a secret and I’ve been just dying to tell someone about this little project, I’m going to let you in on something very exciting.” There was evil in the man’s smile as he continued “You see, our dear Mr. Cobblepot is not insane. Disturbed? Most definitely, however, not crazy so there’s no reason for him to be here.....but being a man of science I can’t just release him.” He got up to look through a file cabinet on the other side of the room “I mean, the man is a medical anomaly. The syndactyly alone would be enough but there is so much more....anyways, I’ve decided I must dissect him. I’m afraid that means you’ll be back to being alone by tomorrow morning, dear Edward.” It was easy for Ed to hide his distress but inside his mind was racing. They were going to dissect Oswald? Take him away? Take Ed’s Oswald away? No...they weren’t, Ed wouldn’t let them.

Ed waited patiently that night for the orderlies to come busting in, Oswald’s snoring soothed him for now as he worked at the screw under his bed. It felt like it had started digging into his bone now, Ed didn’t care he kept turning. The door opened quietly, only one orderly came in. He was holding a syringe, Ed deduced that it had to be something lethal as they quickly stopped bothering with sedatives on Oswald in the first day. Ed finally got the screw out, seething as he watched the orderly walk over to Oswald. Filled with a determination only love could bring about, Ed ripped the leg from the bed frame and forced his tired body over to the syringe armed man. “MINE!” he yelled as he brought the metal stick down on the man’s head, the feral declaration of ownership startled Oswald awake but Ed didn’t stop, he brought the metal down on the man’s head over and over again, how dare he try to take his Oswald away. Spotting the syringe in the orderlies hand Oswald quickly worked out that Ed must be protecting him. Ed stopped once the orderly’s face was just a puddle of viscera “Mine..” he asserted quietly once more, his throat already hurting from yelling.

Oswald stopped to catch his breath once he and Ed hadn’t heard the alarms from Arkham for a few miles. “Thanks,” Oswald said sincerely “I guess we can go our separate ways now-“ he was cut off by Ed suddenly hugging him and shaking his head in disapproval of that idea, almost in a panic. It took Oswald only a second to realize that Ed didn’t save him because he just needed someone to escape with, he saved him simply because he was in danger. “O-Oh,” Oswald was a bit flustered as the ginger man bear hugged him as if he meant everything to him “So it’s like that, is it?” he smirked, gently pushing Ed off. “Hmm, you’re cute,” he mumbled while studying the taller man’s face “I guess we can stick together for a while.” He grabbed Ed’s hand and they kept moving. Ed was grinning ear to ear as Oswald led him. ‘A while?’ He thought ‘I think you mean forever.’

#oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #the penguin #the riddler #riddlebird

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thedreammweaver · 3 years

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A Much Awaited Evening (Burton-schumacherverse riddlebird, Victorian au, Patient!Oswald, Doctor!Ed)

Warnings: health issues mention

Oswald tilted his head as he watched Ed putting the last of the tinsel on the tree in the living room. It was adorned with all manner of other decorations and candles in open jars as Oswald was too nervous around fire to have them fully exposed but still wanted the tree lit. He would’ve been helping with the decorating but his lungs were giving him trouble that day and Ed thought it best for him to rest.

Since Oswald had let the rest of the staff go to their homes for the holidays, not to mention give he and Ed some privacy, all the decorating was left to the taller man and he’d done a spectacular job. Ed came over to sit beside Oswald in front of the fireplace and admire his handiwork. Ed had ordered Oswald to cut back on alcohol for a while so he’d begrudgingly settled for a glass of warm milk with cinnamon mixed in. Ed nestled into Oswald as they cuddled under a blanket. He’d been plagued with the fear that Oswald wouldn’t make it to Christmas but here they were huddled together in festive firelight with snow falling outside. “I love you, Oswald.” Ed whispered as he absently twirled some of Oswald’s grey curls. A sly smirk spread across Oswald’s face “I’m partial to you as well.” he chuckled before relenting “I love you too, Edward.” Oswald mumbled, nuzzling Ed and leaving kisses on his neck, happy to be sharing the holiday with one he loved.

#oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #the penguin #the riddler #riddlebird

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thedreammweaver · 3 years

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Merry for the First Time (Burton-Schumacherverse au, teenage!riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort)

Warnings: drug abuse mentions, child abuse/neglect, mention of forced dieting, withholding of food as punishment, planned but not executed filicide

Oswald huffed as he followed after his mother, greatly disliking the fact she’d drug him along to help her with Christmas shopping. She was in the middle of trying to remember something, frazzled as usual from whatever she took to take the edge off when dealing with Oswald. It felt like he was waddling after her forever all across the shopping center but she finally decided to call it a day.

Once they were in the car Esther was anxiously drumming her fingers on the steering wheel. “Can we go home now?” Oswald whined, leaning against the window. Esther cleared her throat “No...you have a doctor’s appointment today.”

Oswald could’ve sworn he felt the world stop turning “No, I don’t.”

Esther was already exasperated “Oswald, please-“

“No!!” Oswald screamed, folding his arms and turning away from his mother. His doctor visits were always tortuous, he got poked and prodded and ridiculed just for the doctor to say he didn’t know what was wrong. Esther gritted her teeth and squeezed the steering wheel before putting on a fake nice voice “If I get you ice cream will you not make my life a living hell for just a few hours?” Oswald pondered what his dignity was worth for a moment before nodding, stubbornly.

Oswald absently fiddled with the hem of his pajamas as he sat in the hallway listening to his parents fight.

“You spoil him too much! That’s why he’s like this!”

“He won’t do anything I say unless I spoil him! You do the same thing!”

“You’re high, Esther.”

“Oh, I’d like to see you try dealing with that thing sober..can barely stand to look at him.”

Unfortunately the all boys school Oswald was forced to attend didn’t let out for winter break. That meant he still had to deal with teasing from his peers over holidays the holiday season. He was sitting by himself in the grass during a break between classes while all of the other boys were together doing whatever ‘normal’ boys did. He was cranky as his father had once again forced him on a diet. Tucker was a little obsessed with trying to ‘correct’ the one thing about Oswald’s appearance that was changeable. He and Esther had looked into surgery for the nose and flippers, much to their dismay there were was seemingly no sum of money that could convince any surgeons in the area to operate on a thirteen year old. Oswald’s mood didn’t improve when he felt a small rock hit his back followed by snickering. It was soon followed by another rock and thenanother. “Hey, lardass!” Oswald recognized the voice as Harvey Dent’s. The boy was an angel in front of teachers but could be quite the bully once out of their eyesight. “Harvey, cut it out.” This voice made Oswald seethe, it was Bruce Wayne. “Shut up, Bruce. You make jokes about him too.”

“I don’t throw rocks at him..”

Oswald knew if he was going to be angry at anyone in the moment it should be Harvey, but there was something about Bruce that infuriated him. The perfect hair, perfect smile, everything about him was too perfect. Everyone had been doting on him since his parents died, if Oswald ever had to hear the words ‘Poor Bruce’ again he thought he might just lose it. He didn’t see the big deal, having parents wasn’t all it was cracked up to be either and Oswald didn’t get any sympathy for that or for anything...everyone was so worried about Bruce. He acted so innocent and good but he treated Oswald just like everyone else did. Without realizing it Oswald had gotten up, something about Bruce made everything in him cry out to rip the other boy to pieces. All Oswald saw was red as he felt himself charging Bruce.

“You put another boy in the hospital, Oswald, do you even care??” Esther asked, exasperated as she tried to focus on driving Oswald home from the lengthy meeting they’d just had with his principal. “It’s just a few broken bones..” Oswald mumbled.

“I really wonder what’s wrong with you sometimes.”

“He was being mean!”

“Oh, trust me, pal. A lot of people are going to be mean to you. You can’t attack everyone for it.”

“Yes, I can...”. Oswald folded his arms.

“Good then you’ll go to jail and I’ll never have to see you again, that’ll be nice.” Esther said spitefully. “Why can’t you just be normal for once???” She sighed “Poor Bruce...” That was it. Oswald didn’t know what came over him but he just started shrieking and kicking the back of Esther’s seat.

Oswald huffed as he laid face down in bed, having been sent there without dinner for his behaviour that day. He was going to try and go to sleep when he heard his window opening and something thumping against the floor. “Ow.” Ed mumbled though he recovered quickly. He giddily came over to Oswald’s bed “Ozzie..” he sing songed softly, pushing on Oswald’s shoulder. Oswald just groaned and moved away. “Oh..you’re in a bad mood, huh?”

Oswald weakly swatted at Ed.

“That’s okay, Ozzie. I still love you.” Ed said, crawling onto the bed to hug the other boy. The kind touch made Oswald’s heart melt. “Oh! I brought you something.” Ed took off the green backpack he had on and rummaged through it for a few seconds before pulling out a tub with a raw fish in it. He slid it over to Oswald who wasted no time in opening the tub and starting to eat it.

Ed looked at him a bit sadly “Your parents didn’t feed you did they?”

“How did you know that?” Oswald asked with his mouth full.

“I heard about you putting Bruce Wayne in the hospital, preppy bastard probably deserved it.”

Oswald shrugged, continuing to eat.

“Did you think about what I said? About running away together?” Ed asked. Oswald paused. “Eddie, I don’t know...”

Ed huffed, and lifted up his sleeve. Oswald’s eyes were immediately drawn to the bruises on Ed’s forearm. “I have them everywhere.” Ed said stoically “I’m leaving no matter what but I’d rather be doing it with you.”

“I-I... okay, I just need some time to think.”

“Please, Ozzie. I don’t wanna spend Christmas by myself...or with my father.” Ed pleaded, laying down in Oswald’s lap.

The next day Oswald was once again listening to his parents bicker, being suspended from school he had little else to do, the sound of them yelling coupled with the feeling of the hard floor under him had become so familiar. The light from the sunset hitting the floor was quite pretty though, so at least he had that to look at. He’d stopped paying attention to what his parents were saying until his father said something that made his blood run cold. “I wish we’d gone through with getting rid of him when he was a baby..”

“Tucker..”

“We were right there on the bridge about to throw him in when you suddenly decided you felt bad for him!”

“You don’t have to yell at me! I wish we’d done it too..”

There was a beat of silence as Oswald listened intently.

“Well...it’s not too late.” Tucker hummed.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Think about it, Essie! We could have the house to ourselves again.. Christmas to ourselves.” Tucker was already daydreaming as he grabbed his wife by the shoulders.

“I- even if we were to do it..I don’t even know how to go about something like that.” Esther mumbled.

“The kid’s a pig, he’ll eat anything, I doubt he’d notice if we slipped something into his supper tonight.”

“We could pay someone to dispose of him and be rid of the body by morning...” Esther was daydreaming as well now.

“I have a better idea. I’ve met with a few ‘collectors’ that would pay a pretty penny to have those flippers in a display case.”

“You’ve been thinking about this a lot, haven’t you, dear?”

“You have no idea.” Oswald’s heart was beating so loud as he snuck back to his room he was almost afraid his parents would hear.

Oswald startled a bit at Ed entering his window. “Hiya, Ozzi-“

“We’re leaving.” Oswald cut the other boy off, he was busily packing a few things into a backpack.

“Why the sudden change of mind?” Ed asked, genuinely curious.

“I heard my parents planning to poison me, they said they would do it tonigh-“

Oswald was cut off by his mother calling him down for dinner, he hurriedly finished his packing. “Do we have to go by your house or are you ready?” He asked, grabbing a coat from his closet and putting it on.

“I’ve been ready for weeks.” Ed answered, gesturing to the backpack he had on his own back everytime he came to visit Oswald. Ed suddenly looked nervous “I haven’t actually thought of where we should go....”

“I have an idea.” Oswald assured, taking Ed’s hand.

Ed shivered as he and Oswald entered the abandoned penguin exhibit in the old zoo. Oswald wrapped his arm around the other boy to share body heat, the cold of the place didn’t phase him too much. “Y-You’ve been here before right?” Ed asked. “Yeah, I was running from those jerks at school when I found it.” Oswald lead Ed deeper into the place. Ed startled when he heard squawking behind them and turned to see a penguin. “Oh, I should’ve mentioned there’s still penguins here.” Oswald chuckled. As Oswald and Ed kept walking the penguin followed curiously for a bit before losing interest. Soon the boys turned a corner and Ed was surprised to see a sort of dwelling in a corner of a long abandoned room. There was a mattress with pillows and blankets on it as well as a lantern and a few books. “I...come here sometimes to get away from everything.” Oswald admitted.

Ed stirred slightly from where he’d been snuggled under Oswald’s arm while the other boy read to him. He could hear bells from a clock in town signaling it was now midnight, Christmas Day. “Merry Christmas, Ozzie.” Ed mumbled, sleepily but happily, sinking back into Oswald. “Merry Christmas, Ed.” Oswald cooed, kissing Ed on the forehead.

#oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #the penguin #the riddler #riddlebird

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thedreammweaver · 4 years

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Too Good to Be True part 2 (Burton-schumacherverse Riddlebird)

Part 1 part 3

Warnings: break up (not permanent), weight related prejudice, fatphobic comments

Ed paced anxiously around Ivy’s lair, he was supposed to be having drinks with her and Selina but it’d turned into him venting about Oswald. “Eddie, I don’t know why you’re so bothered,” Selina said “I mean, I get he’s a little overweight but-“

Ed scoffed “A little overweight?? Yeah, Selina, he’s a little overweight..and the pope is a little catholic.”

Selina rolled her eyes “That’s mean, Ed.” She of course knew what it was like firsthand to be disgusted by the penguin. However, after a specific occasion where one of her cats fell ill, the vets were closed, and Oswald was the only other person she knew of who had any knowledge on animals she had begun considering the man a friend. Now when she thought of him she only thought of the man who had compassion for critters enough to help her at four in the morning. “Have you tried voicing these concerns to him, darling?” Ivy asked, swirling a cherry in her drink before putting it in her mouth. “That may not be the best idea, he doesn’t handle rejection well.” Selina chuckled nervously, absently rubbing her neck. Ed sat down, bouncing his leg anxiously “How would I even phrase it? I mean what’s a nice way to say ‘Your body kinda makes me want to puke when I think about it too long and you could do with a facelift’?”

“Ed..” Selina scolded.

“Maybe you should break up if you’re so disgusted.” Ivy muttered, actually feeling a little bad for Penguin. Ed ran a hand through his hair “I don’t want to do that....I mean he’s great, really-“

“He’s just too ugly for you?” Selina said pointedly, standing up and folding her arms, obviously meaning to insult Ed rather than Oswald. “I didn’t say that!” Ed insisted.

“Maybe not with those words..” Selina growled.

Feeling a little threatened Ed got up to leave “This was nice..but I’m sensing I’ve become rather unpopular over the last few minutes.” Ivy raised a brow at him as if to say ‘You think?’.

The song was almost over Ed reminded himself. Oswald just had to want to dance with him, Ed tried to focus on the decor of the Iceberg Lounge instead of the soft rolls of pudge he could feel under Oswald’s clothes. He hated being so close with the man in public, all he could think about was what other people must think seeing someone as beautiful as him next to this waddling combination of strained buttons, messy grey curls, and the faint smell of fish. Ed tried not to be too tense as they swayed together however he couldn’t not wince when Oswald accidentally stepped on his foot once again. Oswald was too enthralled with Ed to notice, his head pressed against the taller man’s chest. “You’re so light on your feet.” Ed muttered sarcastically.

“What was that, dear?”

“You’re such a delight to me.” Ed spoke up. He cringed as Oswald sighed wistfully and cuddled into him further. Luckily for Ed, Ozzie didn’t want to dance for too much longer as he was getting lightheaded.

Oswald had of course offered to drop Ed off at his apartment, he was a gentleman after all and it was on the way from the lounge to cobblepot manor anyways. As they sat in the back of the car something strange began to happen. Oswald had dozed off and usually Ed found the other man’s tendency to do so annoying and his snoring grating but tonight he found it..sort of cute. Oswald looked so docile and soft when asleep, without realizing it Ed had unbuckled himself and scooted closer. Maybe it was the moonlight coming in from the window but the way it was lighting Oswald’s grey locks and pale skin up was...beautiful. Beautiful? Just an hour before Ed could barely force himself to look at the shorter man now he couldn’t look away. Something prompted him to caress one of Oswald’s cheeks, had his skin always been so soft? Ed moved to feel Ozzie’s hair as it had brushed against his hand, it was supremely soft as well. Ed didn’t know what had changed but he found himself taking in Oswald’s appearance in a different way, a kinder way. He sighed with relief, glad the problem had resolved itself, and Oswald would never have to know about the prejudices Ed had harbored.

Ed was taking his time in his bathroom getting ready as he was actually excited for this date for once. He was making Oswald wait in his apartment. Ed was quite proud of himself, for the last few days when they would talk on the phone he had actually been imagining Ozzie as himself instead of the princely substitute visage he’d conjured for the man. He was humming softly as he finally came out of the bathroom “Before you complain, I promise I’m always worth the wai-“ Ed cut himself off as he saw that in one of Oswald’s flippers was the muted green diary. His eyes were frantically scanning the pages with growing horror, his eyes were shining with tears. “Oh...” Ed had forgotten about the diary, once he had nothing to complain about he didn’t feel the need to vent to it.

“Ozzie-“

“How could you?!” Oswald hissed, looking up at Ed, he looked utterly betrayed. Ed was more concerned about defending himself than comforting Oswald “I don’t think that stuff anymore, baby! Besides those were mostly just jokes-“

Oswald interrupted by reading one of the entries aloud “‘When he started getting sappy I was so afraid he was going to ask me to marry him. The only pro to that, besides intelligent conversation of course, is with his diet he’s bound to be whisked off by a heart attack before his mid-forties, let’s hope I’d be in the will.’” Oswald was trying so hard not to cry “That’s funny to you?? Maybe I should go step out in front of a bus if my early death is such a laughing matter, give you a pick me up, hmm?”

Ed walked over to the shorter man “Oswald, I’m so sor-“ he was interrupted by Oswald throwing the diary at him, there were tears spilling from his eyes now “If you weren’t so selfish as to have let me love you..I would gut you like the pig you are.” There was such a tangle of heartbreak and rage in Oswald’s eyes “Don’t ever fucking talk to me again.” he spat before storming out.

#oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #the penguin #the riddler #riddlebird

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thedreammweaver · 4 years

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Kiss-Curl (Burton-schumacherverse riddlebird au, Hairdresser!Ed)

Oswald idly swung his legs a bit from atop the chair in his trailer he’d been put in, he was consciously avoiding the mirror that’d been placed in front of him. He wasn’t looking forward to this but of course Max insisted. Everyone being so fussy over his appearance made him feel...bad about himself, this mayoral campaign was stressful enough without the pressure of trying to look less like a penguin and more....like a person.

He felt nervous as he heard the door open, ready to be picked apart by another one of Max’s employees. Through the mirror Os could see that the man who entered was tall and lanky, his ginger hair framed his face in a way that weirdly made Oswald’s heart jump. “Sorry I’m late.” The man chuckled awkwardly, walking over and setting the green bag he was carrying on a stool that was behind Ozzie’s chair “Bike had a flat..I’m Ed by the way.” Oswald suddenly felt nervous with the other man standing over him. His heart was racing as Ed started running his hands through Oswald’s hair, that was his job of course but Ozzie couldn’t help but focus on the intimacy. “Mr. Shreck told me to just clean it up so I thought I’d give you a trim and maybe just brush it out a bit, that okay with you?”

Oswald blushed as the taller man made eye contact with him through the mirror. “Uh- Y-Yes, that’ll be fine..” Oswald’s eyes darted away from Ed’s gaze “So..you biked here?”

“Yeah.” Ed was still inspecting Oswald’s hair. Ozzie suddenly felt self conscious “Sorry it’s such a mess..”

“Oh, no, you’re fine!” Ed reassured “I think it’s gorgeous...grey is such an underappreciated colour.”

Oswald felt himself blushing again “Why do you bike? That seems a bit tedious.”

“I can’t drive and my skateboard is broken right now.” Ed answered rummaging through his bag.

“You don’t take the subway?”

“No, never.” He paused as found his scissors and started cutting at the ends of Oswald’s curls “It’s a neurobiological developmental ‘disability’...I don’t like thinking of myself as disabled though. I like puzzles, it makes me good at those, I’d rather have that than driving or not being bothered by all the noises and smells of the subway.” Oswald was absolutely transfixed, something about Ed was so..interesting and hypnotizing, it beckoned him. “You seem tense,” Ed commented “must be all this mayor stuff, huh? It seems like quite the leap.”

“Yeah..” Oswald wrung his gloved flippers nervously.

“I never liked any politicians before, they all seem really..manufactured, you know? I couldn’t relate to them but you’re different.” Ed said absently as he continued cutting. Oswald was flattered, something about impressing Ed made him feel whole.

Oswald studied himself in the mirror, something he usually avoided. The length of his hair was pretty much the same, Ed had just cut damaged parts and evened things out but he’d also accentuated Ozzie’s curls so they now looked more old Hollywood and less greasy sewer rat. “Do you like it?” Ed asked a bit nervously. “It’s beautiful.” Oswald answered, still observing himself. “You’re beautiful..” Ed said under his breath, Oswald still caught it. All the feelings that had built up over the past hour finally took over “Are you single?”

The question took Ed by surprise “Yes?”

Thank god for that, Oswald turned to the taller man pushing down his nervousness “Would you like to change that?”

Ed’s face went scarlet “Uhhh..w-with you?”

Oswald nodded, taking one of Ed’s hands.

It didn’t take Ed much thought to answer “Yes, please.”

#oswald cobblepot #the penguin #the riddler #edward nygma #riddlebird

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