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turnupswritessometimes · 2 months

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Butterflies - Ch4 - Lies of P/Alice Madness Returns

Relationship: P/Alice Liddell

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53898544/chapters/136426825

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Summary: “But why go looking for other realities, when there’s no guarantee you’ll pass through to them?” “Because it’s an experiment, and I jolly well won’t learn anything more about all this unless I try,” Alice replied.

Having figured out how to slip in and out of Wonderland entirely, Alice Liddell sets off on a journey to find more realities around her own. When she follows a blue butterfly to Hotel Krat, she meets P. The more time they spend together, the more they feel as though there’s someone else out there, just like them.

Chapter Four: In Which Alice and P Spar Against Each Other

Alice had enjoyed talking with Eugenie; with someone who knew how to handle weapons, and who’d admired her own. And then she’d met P again. And though her heart had been behaving erratically, she'd liked it. She'd liked meeting someone who was like her – because he was, she thought. There was something about him that was like her.

Now they stood in the courtyard of the hotel, in the weak morning sunlight, facing each other. Ready to spar. Alice held her knife in her hand, and realised that she knew nothing about fighting. Not really. She only knew how to fight for her life. Not practice, like this.

There was a half puppet mounted on a stick in the courtyard, which fruitlessly waved its fists like a boxer. They were both pointedly ignoring it.

P looked back at her, his eyes catching the lights from the hotel. “Are you sure about this?”

“Of course I am.”

He nodded. “Alright.”

Yet, neither of them moved. They stared at each other, fingers clenching on their weapons. Alice took a breath.

“On three?”

P nodded again.

And that was what they did. On three P darted forward, swift as a cat and light on his feet. Alice raised her blade, just in time.

There was the fantastic clatter of metal on metal. P’s sword pressed against Alice’s dagger with enough force to send her sliding back a half-step. She suspected he was holding back on her.

She sidestepped. Slashed out with the vorpal blade and it was caught by P. Caught again, when she tried a different slice. And again, as she lunged, her weight behind it. P shifted his weight backward, catching it on his own. He didn’t hold her parry for longer than a moment; just a glancing blow against each other.

Alice retreated. P let her. Watched her, as she circled him, slowly, but he met her at every step, his sword outstretched. And, the moment she paused to catch her breath, to think, he was there. His blows were rapid, and she fumbled to catch them on her own.

She was good at fighting. In Wonderland, she was good. She’d taken down opponents bigger and more powerful than this. And yet, she felt clumsy. Her boots stumbled and her spare arm felt heavy. She was barely holding her own, and P didn’t even seem winded.

P stopped, for a moment, his blade diagonal over his chest, like a shield. “You’re good.”

“Are you lying?” she asked, swapping the hand her knife was in; her palm was sweaty.

P shook his head. He frowned, as though the thought offended him.

“Try again,” he said. “You won’t hurt me.”

Not because he was too good, because she couldn’t. She physically couldn’t hurt him, only break him. So, Alice redoubled her efforts, trying to recapture the desperate fight for her life that she felt in Wonderland. She slashed and blocked and ducked and swayed, trying not to pay attention to her footwork or her posture; she never had before. It was easier if she acted on instinct.

The problem was, P’s sword was much longer than her dagger. He had a range that she didn’t have; she had to get close if she wanted her attacks to land at all.

But getting close had its advantages, Alice reasoned. She waited, until their blades were locked, before she hooked her boot around P’s, just as she’d learnt from the street boys back in London.

It did unbalance P, too. But as he fell, he twisted his sword deftly, so it caught the front of Alice’s blade. She lost her grip on the vorpal blade; it spun out of her hand; she fell too; staring at her knife and P’s sword spinning in silver arcs through the air.

A judder went through her body, as she landed.

Not on the floor.

She’d landed on top of P, her palms on his chest, and their legs tangled together on the cobblestones. For a moment, she was winded; he was so solid underneath her. Alice started to pull herself up, but she froze when she was halfway, her hair falling down in a dark wave.

P’s eyes were wide, staring up at her, and very blue. This close, she could see the freckles across his nose and cheekbones. See there were more on his temple. The pattern was so natural; it was strange to think he must have been designed that way. Someone had painted his freckles.

But what made her stop was his smile. A small, stunned smile as he stared.

“I’m so sorry – I cannot apologise enough,” she murmured, still trying to get herself in order.

P blinked. “You’re apologising for winning?”

“I have no weapon.” She needed to move. Why hadn’t she moved? She couldn’t lay sprawled on a boy, like this. “I think we can call this a draw.”

P hadn’t moved at all; his hands were at his sides. “You could strangle me.”

Could she? His chest felt hard and unmoving under her palms. She shook her head. “I doubt it. You could easily overpower me. It would be you strangling me, sir.”

And then she thought about that; about the two of them rolling around on the floor, grappling for power, and how thoroughly improper that was. She felt herself flush with heat, and yet, still couldn’t bring herself to get off this boy.

“I won’t do that.” P got onto his elbows, as though he was trying to reassure her. Did he think she had gone red because she thought he would? It would be impossible to explain that wasn’t the case.

“I didn’t think—” Her hands had shifted, with P’s movement, and she stopped. She’d felt something, under her right palm. She pressed, more firmly, against his chest, and felt it again.

A heartbeat. A solid heartbeat. Slightly fast.

P sat, properly, and she shifted with him, only dimly aware she was on his lap, now. (If she was truly aware, she’d be mortified, but she was distracted now.) His hand covered hers, keeping it pressed against the heartbeat. The hand that looked like hers, not his weapon-arm.

“It’s called a P-organ,” he said.

Alice barely breathed. She felt as though she was under a spell; enchanted by the feeling of his heart underneath her hand. A steady heartbeat from a puppet’s chest. Eventually, she became aware of those too-blue eyes watching her. Her own heart thudded, as she met P’s eyes. They practically shone.

“It feels…” She tried to catch her breath, but it felt difficult. “The same.”

“The same?”

“The same.” She took his wrist – the one that wasn’t mechanical – and brought it to her own chest. (The impropriety hardly seemed to matter, anymore – seemed easier to forget about it, entirely.) She pressed his palm against her own racing heartbeat.

P stared at their hands. His fingers twitched, and his palm pressed against her breastbone. Alice was very aware of how fast it was beating. She watched P’s expression of awe.

“Like butterfly wings,” he murmured, with his soft voice.

Alice nodded.

Neither of them moved. They stayed in the courtyard, in the weak morning light.

Until it began to drizzle.

Alice was not repulsed by P. She’d been fascinated by his P-organ; fascinated by him. She didn’t pull away when they touched; didn’t scramble away in horror. She’d stayed. She’d showed him her own heartbeat.

It had felt magical.

When it had began raining, they had moved. Slowly, as though in a dream, picking up their respective weapons and heading to the safety of the hotel. They stood, just in the doorway, watching the rain pitter onto the cobblestones.

P stood next to a human, who didn’t care he was a puppet. Who treated him, he thought, as if he was just as human as her. He liked that feeling.

Alice’s cheeks weren’t crimson anymore. They weren’t deathly pale, either, but pink. As pink as carnations. P liked seeing her blush. He fiddled with the hilt of his sword, flexing the fingers of his legion arm.

"I think we can both admit you are the more capable fighter," Alice said. She didn't look at him. That was fine. His mind was still full of her very green eyes. Eyes like he imagined the grass would be. Eyes like the tree leaves in summer.

"I was taught to fence," he said. That made it sound like it was something he'd learnt, and not something ingrained within him. As if he was built for a purpose other than to fight. "That's all. I can teach you."

Alice fingered the blade of her dagger. Her hair fell forward, shielding her face from view. She didn’t reply.

He continued, "If you teach me the moves you used on me."

"That's how we fought in the streets," she replied. "It isn't fair fighting."

He thought about that. He thought about how it felt to fight puppets, when they were only under orders to fight. He thought about how he would use any weapon in his arsenal to win against them, including pipes and chains. He thought about how he didn’t want to fight sometimes. He hadn’t wanted to fight some of the humans he’d faced; they’d only fought him because he was a puppet. He wasn’t like them; he didn’t bleed, and he didn’t tire.

"Is any fighting fair?"

She brushed her hair back then, and examined him with cat-like eyes, like she had before. Like he surprised her; like she was intrigued by him. "Are all puppets so philosophical?"

When anyone said something like that, it reminded P of what he was. (How could he forget, even for a moment?) He felt very aware of his springs, ticking inside him, instead of a real heart. He looked back towards the courtyard, letting his own hair fall forward. His father had cut it back, when it had grown, and he wished he hadn’t. Wished he could hide behind it too.

"I'm not like other puppets."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Alice let go of her hair, and clench her fist. As though she was aware she'd hurt his feelings, and felt bad about it.

"I can teach you how to fight like a street urchin," she said. "If you teach me how to fence. Is that a fair deal?"

P turned back to her; her hair was messy from the rain and half-frizzy – beautiful – and it sounded like that was her apology, and he liked that better than the word 'sorry.' He nodded. Smiled a little.

Alice smiled back. She held out her hand again, for him to shake. He took it, and felt Gemini's vibrate against his hip. He'd kept mercifully quiet all morning.

P hesitated. Then, with the same push he felt when he went into battle, brought Alice's hand to his mouth. He pressed his lips against the back of her fingers, his eyes on hers. Her cheeks had turned back to red, and her eyes were wide. But she still smiled. A small, shocked smile.

"I'll find you a foil," he murmured.

Alice nodded. She tucked her hair behind her ear.

P found himself turning jerkily, turning and heading back through the foyer.

His arm was caught, as he passed, and he stopped himself just in time from powering his legion arm and attacking. It was only Vegnini. Grinning at him like a Cheshire Cat.

"Very smoothly done, my friend," he said. "You're more of a Casanova than I expected."

P raised an eyebrow at him. It was easier to be impassive with Vegnini – he suspected it amused him. He was the only one not intimated by P's silence. It was strangely refreshing.

"You know I have had many partners in my three decades, don't you? Gentlemen, ladies, a few puppets, so you know I have plenty of advice." Vegnini leant closer. "For starters, you look much too nervous. Ladies notice that, you know."

P looked over his shoulder, wondering how he could look anything. Vegnini's voice carried, and Alice had no doubt heard. She was brushing down her apron and seemed to be politely ignoring the conversation about her. Because she was a lady.

"Thank you," P said. "I'm alright."

"Suit yourself, my friend." Vegnini let his shoulder go, though not without giving him another sharp elbow.

P didn't reply. He gave a single, sharp nod, and continued on. How was it that Vegnini could read how he felt so easily? (If that even was how he felt?) And he didn't find the idea of a puppet in love impossible?

Love was a powerful word. He didn't know anything about love. Love was for humans, surely.

P wouldn't think about it. That was simpler.

They fought alongside each other. Alice followed P onto the streets of Krat, in the drizzly afternoon. He taught her footwork; taught her how to hold a foil and how to parry. They practised on quiet streets, before facing the puppets that still walked the streets. The factory was shut down, and yet, they still seemed to keep appearing, as relentlessly as the monsters in the outer parts of the city.

P had not told Alice about the monsters. Not yet.

She was a quick study. She moved fast; she was determined to be perfect. Her eyes gleamed in the soft afternoon light like a cat’s when she did. In return, she taught him the opposite; to fight with whatever he could. Small, underhanded tricks which were nothing like fencing, and often didn’t require a weapon.

“The heel of your palm,” she said. “Against the bridge of someone’s nose. It should break it, and get them off of you.”

They were stood very close, in one of the many alleyways of Rosa Isabelle Street. She’d shown him with her own hand, moving slowly, and she’d let him. Her skin just nudged his own, and he felt – something. Like sparks. Like he was breaking.

“Have you ever had to do that?” he asked, looking between her fingers to her face.

Alice bit her lip. She pulled her hand back, and held it against her chest. “London can be dangerous, if you’re a girl.”

He didn’t like the sound of that; he clenched his legion arm, and released his fist, slowly. Alice had proven that she could take care of herself – she had gotten the better of him – but he still didn’t like the idea of her having to defend herself like that.

She leant against the alley wall, glancing out onto the street. It was as deserted as Krat could be, meaning it was piled high with puppet parts and there was a leg poking out from underneath a carriage.

“I suppose Krat is a dangerous place for you, too,” she murmured.

P paused. He took a moment, then joined her against the wall, brushing dirt and oil from his legion arm.

“Yes,” he said, finally. “Almost everyone attacks me.”

Puppets, monsters, humans. They didn’t even give him a chance to speak, most of the time.

“Almost?”

“There’s the fox and the cat,” P said. “They’re – friends. And the hotel guests. And – you.”

“And me.” Alice ducked her chin, tucking her hair behind her ear. It was pale as bone compared to ink of her hair. “It’s certainly a surprise for me too. Normally, I’m besieged by monsters the moment I go to Wonderland.”

Monsters? She fought monsters too. It made sense; how she was so fearless about Krat, and so accepting of what he was. He wanted to know more – he wanted to know about London and Wonderland and how it was that Alice could travel through all of these places. He wanted to know about those places: places other than Krat; the world.

“What’s Wonderland like?”

“Impossible,” she replied.

But she did explain more, that evening. They sat at the edge of the gold coin tree, the courtyard painted gold in the setting sun. P admired the way that Alice leant her elbows on her knees, her boots slightly pigeon-toed, her striped tights disappearing into her petticoats. It was decidedly unladylike. And yet, elegant. He liked looking at her.

If she noticed, she didn’t admonish him for it. She talked about Wonderland, toying with the edge of her blade. She spoke about smiling cats and shrinking down to the size of a mouse. She talked about great, steampunk factories where the Hatter worked, just beyond a village made of teapots and plates. Of underwater worlds, worlds full of paper ants and wasps and castles manned by card-soldiers.

Wonderland sounded like a patchwork of strangeness. Strange, and fascinating.

P felt entranced. Felt as though he could never dream up anything like it, even if he was able to dream. He listened, his chin on his fist, and felt like a small child being read fairy tales. Felt as though he did like fairy tales, though he didn’t know where that came from.

“I would like to go there,” he said.

Alice looked at him from under her lashes. She seemed more comfortable now, sitting so close to him that their arms brushed against each other. “It’s dangerous.”

“I don’t mind.”

She smiled, with her eyes more than her mouth. “Maybe I’ll find a way to take you there. I’m still trying to figure out how all of this works.”

He smiled back. And there was another one of those pauses, where he could feel those butterflies in his chest. Where it felt like there was something, and he didn’t know what it was. Didn’t know he could feel at all, let alone feel like this.

Alice looked away first, slipping her blade back away. “Can I ask about your arm?”

P tilted his head. “My arm?”

“Your left arm.”

“It’s a legion arm.” P held it in front of him. It was his puppet string model; the others seemed too likely to hurt Alice in battle by accident. This one, he felt he had control over. “My Father created this one and gave it to me.”

“But didn’t give you another arm,” she said.

P blinked. He’d never thought about it, like that. It made him very aware of where his own arm ended, and how he could lose some of it. How it moved just like his own, but it wasn’t really his. Not to keep.

“He gave me a weapon,” he said. “To protect the city.”

To save his father. To save everyone.

Alice didn’t seem to understand. She looked at him, with her bright eyes. “He gave you a weapon, instead of another arm.”

She wasn’t wrong, but it left him confused. Because Geppetto cared about him, he’d said that so many times – that he was sorry to send P into battle. His arm – this arm – was a work of art. Eugenie had said that. An incredible gift. Surely, a weapon like this was better than another arm.

But Alice said weapon like it was a bad thing. Like there was something more he was made for, other than fighting.

Was there something more?

If there was, then what would that be? What did he want it to be?

How could he want anything more, when he was Geppetto’s puppet?

#alice x p #alice x pinocchio #alice in wonderland #american mcgees alice #alice madness returns #alice liddell #lies of p #lies of p player character #pinocchio #turnupswrites #best way to follow is to follow my writing tag #or on ao3 #because im not always great at linking next and previous chaps #fanfiction #fanfic #crossover fic

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courtorderedcake · 4 years

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Hallow : ch xvii - CSSNS 2019

“The Goblin King was prepared to host the Darkness, stealing Fae women away to their corrupted lands underneath the ground as concubines. The Darkness chose another in his stead, but not before this selected vessel enacted a devastating attack in its vengeance, revealing its hatred & rage. The battle was a lesson the old kings had forgotten; never underestimate an opponent.

Many more lives were lost as they razed over any who dared defy The Goblin King’s will. Only the pure love of our rulers united in matrimony, breaking the Vorpal Dagger, sealed the darkness and the Goblin menace away. The light flourished under their fair rule, and the queen bore a child as pure as moon beams, swan feathers, and starlight. They lived happily ever after, and shall be written in history as Heroes for All Time.”

This is the history Princess Emma memorizes from the day she is born, paraded about and presented only with the highest protection. The palace is a cage she wishes to escape, desperately. Not careful what wishes she made, Emma discovers history is written by the victors - The Dark One has an entirely different version of the events that took place.

Read on AO3 here.

Rated E for explicit themes, Mature situations, and Fae fuckery.

Written for @cssns

Ch 16 / 28 - In which the Dark One returns in full force.

The princess woke in his arms as the Darkness rumbled its nefarious promises from before, unaware of his protected feelings of relief and happiness. She lived, she was whole, they had won, and she had forgotten that he had loved her with every bit of himself, his true self, before it could be corroded away.

Then she spoke, her voice dry and hoarse from disuse, and she had said that she must remember him. Remember him as the Dark One.

Oh, isn't that interesting? Maybe you crushing her heart - killing her, remember? You killed her, by grinding it to powder in your palm - is worth remembering after all. Isaac did say that she would only forget the dreams… He said nothing about the nightmares.

Killian pulled away, looking at her with confusion in a bid to hide the paralyzing fear that he felt. He managed a noise, but she moaned, only repeating the location. He opened his mouth to ask, but she began to cough, and he realized how long it had been since she had drank anything. Pulling one of the tea cups from a shrine, he collected water from a bamboo fountain in the cathedral. She gulped it down greedily, asking for more, but he slowed her.

"Too much too fast and you'll be sick." He took the cup, her glared look almost making him smile with fondness. Swallowing back everything again, he let the Darkness begin tearing apart his feelings, feeding them to the fire.

Wait - oh, vessel, you grow more infantile by the day - you still care about her?

When I am done, she will never be able to speak your name again without fear. I won't ever stop reminding her that you are mine.

"I don't… Killian," She coughed again, and he helped her tip the cup past her lips once more. There was a distinct feeling that she was much lighter, a fragility that had not been there before on top of her ritual induced atrophy. "What happened? All I can remember is to get to Agrabah; we have to get to wherever that is. I'm supposed to remember… You, and something else… What exactly took place?"

She didn't remember. He breathed in, surprised at how sad it made him. That sadness was instantly replaced with anger as he let her go, feeling the pitch black fire in him roar into a blaze.

When I am done, there will be no doubt about who we are.

"You didn't bloody well listen to me, again, and ended up being thrown headfirst into more matters of life and death level chaos. If you are trying to get killed, at least give me the shard around your stupid neck so I don't have to sit by and wonder if you are throwing your chance at saving your kingdom away." He scowled, emphasizing his words with a low growl. "And with it my freedom."

"I - I'm sorry, I thought -"

"Stop thinking then, and just take a minute to wait! You then could have the opportunity to observe that your decisions are going to kill people!" he yelled, and she jumped.

"But - The barrier -"

"Oh, aye, the barrier - you did break that at least, coming within a hair's width from the grave for it," he replied sarcastically.

Emma shook her head. "No, it's still up. I know I destroyed it, but it isn't down. I can feel it. Something is keeping it intact -"

The cathedral shook, small pieces of the structure raining down on them. Emma stood on shaky legs, hobbling to the door.

The barrier burned overhead, like it was dipped in magma, holding in place even while its cracks shined bright against the night sky. Outside, they could now hear the screaming of the islanders and the sounds of terror as they ran from something, Killian’s eyes adjusting to see Cruella with her… Pet.

The huge black creature squatted on its haunches, frog-like legs proceeding many long limbs that reached for anyone and anything it could shovel into its maw. Cruella stood behind it, her necklace glowing a bright scarlet even through the thick clouds of green smoke that seemed to engulf her. Her laugh was a giddy cackle, Lilly's parents and Mushu running to meet them at the cathedral.

Cruella screamed, her hair wild and nails long in the strange orange light of flame. "You fools, you absolute imbeciles! How dare you think I would let any of you go when I could simply drain you all!?"

Lilly's head was bleeding, a hastily applied bandage put across her forehead, but she ran straight away to Emma and hugged her tight enough to where Emma was set into another coughing fit. It turned into a mixture of laughs as they pulled apart, Emma standing shakily as Lilly talked rapidly.

"Cruella has gone absolutely batshit and that thing with the husk mask ate all the actual husks, making itself bigger and growing hair. Now it's eating Kitsune and Dragon alike as if they are candy!" She frantically spoke, Mushu coming up behind her, wearing an angry scowl that matched her parent's faces.

"We have to kill her and it -" Zorro pointed out the set of main doors, directly at Cruella. Another beam tumbled, and he moved out of the way as the front wall came down.

Cruella turned, her eyes going even wider with insane glee. "My darling huskums, my beautiful creature, turn and look at these morsels -"

The creature did turn as the cathedral crumbled further, Killian dodging the debris as Emma struggled while she was pulled away by Lilly. The group peered out, watching Cruella lead it towards them as the creature looked on, its arm reaching out towards them. Cruella clapped her hands in glee, the creature’s hand passing over her before coming down in a hard smack, as it drew her into its mouth.

"No!" she screeched. "I created you! I am your mistress, your owner, you are my sss -"

Her cries died as she slid down its throat, and it turned back to knock aside another building, picking through rubble to gulp down any hiding islanders. They watched in disgust as it slurped down faces they recognized, before it turned away to knock down another structure and they turned to duck further in the shadows.

"Alright," Mal said, slowly. "Just the husk creature then."

While the cathedral's main room was destroyed, the hallway off of it where it separated into a small entrance wing remained safely upright, and they moved forward. The King opened a small hidden compartment in a standing pillar, distributing swords to everyone; everyone but Emma, who was struggling just to hold herself up by using the wall.

"I'll fight without, I'll be okay," she rasped out, closing her eyes for a moment and leaning back.

Lilly pulled on Killian’s arm. "Is she alright? What's going on with -"

The Dragon King interrupted the whispered concern.

"We'll flank it and take it out by slashing the belly and under the arms. Bleed it out as if it were any other animal, and adjust from there. Stay tight in formation, two by two, on its -"

"Don't hurt it!" Phillip roared, tackling King Zorro. The Dragon King was unprepared for the blow, but was up in a moment with his sword drawn. Queen Maleficent followed suit, both of their steel glinting in the burning air.

Phillip stood in front of the cathedral door, his arms outstretched. "You can't hurt it, that's Aurora in there -"

Killian snorted in time with the Dragon King's own scoff.

"I promise you, Kitsune Prince, Aurora is not the one controlling that thing," Maleficent said, grimacing. She took a step forward, blade raised to Phillip's chin.

Phillip refused to flinch, squaring his shoulders. "I think I can talk to it, calm it. If I can just reach her -"

"It ate the husks, Phillip. They walked right into its mouth!" Lilly reasoned. "That's not - I mean, Phillip, come on!"

Phillip remained immovable. "That was just her body, which is empty. Aurora's soul is in there, I can feel it."

"Or, you go out there and it eats you too, mate." Killian flicked his eyes towards the Kitsune. "Like it ate Chihiro, Haku, the Dragon sisters from the kitchen -"

Lilly laughed slightly despite herself, and Phillip glared. He looked directly at the Dragon King who looked pensive.

"At least let me try," Phillip asked, pleading.

The Dragon King gave a firm nod. "Go then. Should you fail, we will continue."

Phillip nodded, turning and running out of the cathedral. Emma wobbled slightly, but followed carefully behind, stopping in the cathedral's awning area, watching as the rest huddled to see behind her.

Phillip waved at it, both arms flailing as it drew near at a slow pace, its hands full of writhing people as it threw them down into its gullet as if eating grapes. It finished what was in its dark palms, and slowly turned towards Phillip, its body rippling.

"Aurora! I know you can hear me!" he shouted, and the creature tried to paw at him with its many hands. Phillip dodged them gracefully, moving back out of its reach. To Killian’s surprise, horror, and dark amusement, the Kitsune began to sing.

The creature responded instantaneously, its hands and arms all absorbing into its body but for the front two, its mouth closing, and its masked head lowering to stretch towards Phillip while resting on its haunches.

"See? It's me Ror," Phillip spoke to it, reaching his hand forward. His voice was a strong tenor, smooth and soothing, as the monster reached its hands toward him. "I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam…"

Opening its palms in front of where Phillip stood, it rested them there as Phillip continued, growing bolder. He stepped onto them, and was carefully lifted upwards as if to be studied closer.

"And if I know you, and I know that I do," he continued singing, "You'll love me at once, the way you did once,"

"He actually fucking did it," Killian whispered, Emma swaying slightly to the soft tune. She leaned against the column, holding a hand against her chest, coughing slightly. He fought the urge to steady her.

Lilly and her family looked as completely taken aback as Killian felt.

The Dragon princess shrugged. "I guess Aurora is in there, who would have guessed."

Phillip continued to sing, the creature observing as the island burned around them, and its denizens ran for shelter. "I know you, I've walked with you -"

With both hands, it shoved Phillip into its mouth so quickly Killian could hear the end note trail off into a yelp as the man slid down its throat.

"Ah." Killian winced. "There it is."

Turning back to peruse for more victims, the King signaled the original plan was set to go.

"Emma," Lilly began, worried. "Are you sure you can -"

Emma waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine. I have my magic, and besides, I think I am due for a stretch anyways."

Lilly looked unconvinced, and Killian felt the same behind his uncaring facade. Emma looked at him, and he looked elsewhere, Lilly glancing between them with a growing scowl.

"We'll go ahead," Lilly announced, pushing in front of her Mother, Father, and Mushu. "We know the ground here, and should we need to, we can blow fire or smoke to get away, or even change. If the assault works, come into the weak areas with magic and you," she nodded at Killian, "Focus on its regions where it may be weak but it is more dangerous, like the neck. If we aren't successful, we'll blast it with fire and see how that goes."

Maleficent looked surprised, but then shook it off, while Zorro seemed pleased. Mushu only looked proud, and Killian felt a pit grow in his stomach. He had looked at Emma like that once.

And never again, unless we are proud of how much we've broken her, or how much suffering she endured before finally succumbing. You will never know her without terror: hers or yours.

"That's an excellent strategy, let's go," Mushu said, pulling Lilly's hand into his, much to her surprise. She blushed, but her ferocity didn't wane. "Princess, Dark One, we will see you soon on the field. Luck will be with all of us, Fiore and Ifrit bless us."

The four gave whoops as they ran out to the field, Emma and Killian staying ducked in the entrance where the creature could not see.

Swords drawn, they moved quickly and with a precision that was dance like, swords casting sparks on the thing’s hard belly and limbs. Only Maleficent and Zorro struck true, Zorro under an armpit then dragged up into the flesh beside, brownish sludge pouring out of the hole that acted as if it was fabric. The arm swiftly pulled into its body, swallowed back like it had been suctioned back inside, the black tears of it dripping to the ground in strips. Another arm appeared elsewhere as its innards continued to trickle slowly out of the wound.

Maleficent had luck ripping her sword through just under the neck of the creature, throwing her sword hard enough to puncture its chest as it tried to smash its hands and face in a timed fashion where it could shovel her into its mouth. It shrieked at the wound, but plucked the sword out easily as she barely got away. They tried flames on its lower side, but it simply bubbled like tar, seeming to harden any lacerations they might have created. The four were forced to turn, whipping into the sky where the creature stretched unnaturally in its attempts to grab them.

The thing shielded itself with one hand as the Dragons rained down fire, another of its hands shooting out to grab Mushu, slurping him down with a slick, wet, noise. They flew around again, this time fire almost catching Kitsune alight in the creature’s hold as it ate them with a smashed hand to its face. Landing, they ran for cover as they changed forms in defeat.

The creature searched for them, but was either unable to or uninterested in finding them while other morsels ran about, Emma and Killian’s hiding spot ripped away as it searched. The thing grinned widely at them, and Killian pushed Emma away as one of its many hands hit the ground where they had been. To her credit, while the princess was exhausted and still confused, she did not hesitate to try and find another hiding place, heading for a small cluster of pine trees. The only problem was that while it had not fixated on any certain target before, it had certainly locked its sights on Emma.

Ripping the trees from the ground with their roots still dripping clumped dirt, Emma slid down the newly created embankment and continued to run. Killian ran at its black mass, drawing his sword, trying to cut any of its limbs or body. While somehow gelatinous, the thing's body was also hard and elastic, not yielding to his sword in the least. A great hand pushed at him half heartedly as it turned, still focused on Emma as she ran.

"Swan!" he yelled with vehemence as she dodged another of its clumsy attempts to pluck at her. What the hell was she doing? It wasn't as if the thing was magic proof, her best skill as it were. "What are you -"

There was panic written on her face, a dead giveaway that something was wrong. Her hands crackled slightly with static the color of sunbeams, but the only effect was her falling forward slightly to her knees, looking at him with wide eyes while taking huge lungfuls of air.

"Emma?" Lilly called, running toward where the princess sat, Emma just barely rolling out of the way as the husk beast chopped where she was with the side of another of its great hands.

"My magic -" Emma choked out, knees wavering as she dodged again. "I can't - My magic isn't working!"

Lilly screamed at her, both of them lost under the bellowing roars that came from the monster's hungry mouth.

Her attempts to escape its grip grew sloppier as she began to tire, and it only grew more infuriated. A backhanded swing caught her in the thighs, sending her spinning in the air towards Killian, before landing hard to roll on the ground. He drew back his sword and drove it into the meat of the thing as hard as he could, just under the armpit of one of its limbs. It shrieked, a hand stopping from rising to squish where Emma lay prone and unmoving. He sprinted towards her, pulling her up in time to be pressed down against her tightly, one of the black palms pushing him to blanket her body to the point he feared he might crush her. As it lifted, claw-like fingers digging under her, the grip loosened.

Killian attempted to struggle, to pull them both free, but its tongue wrapped around them as Lilly screamed and he wrapped his arms around Emma protectively.

Sliding down its throat, pressure increased around them as moans and vibration seemed to come from every direction at once. A viscous liquid flooded over them, muffling noises to an indeterminate buzz, but allowing slow breathing. Emma stirred slightly in his arms and all fear fled him except her waking up only to die like this, to wake up scared and have no hope of rescue from the belly of the beast they rested in, to waste away slowly as Killian could only look on. He would go mad. The Darkness had other concerns.

What would happen to him, the undying, in this manner of decay? Would he simply rot partially forever until whatever cataclysm took place that was more powerful than the Darkness? Would it be like a whale, some unlucky soul slaying the beast only to find him inside after spilling its entrails?

It's your fault; all of this is your fault. As far back as the war and as close as you letting her think she had any chance of helping these Elemental beasts. Ironic, but then again, tragic.

A low gleam came from somewhere nearby, slightly above and a little more than a head's length in front of him. A steady pulse of light was trying to glow, growing brighter with every attempt.

There was a lurch and a sound that rattled his teeth as they were pushed forward, upwards, then out into the air until his back hit the ground. Emma rested on top of him, still but coughing slightly in her unconscious state, fingers curled into his soaked shirt. When he moved as others fell around him, she nuzzled in closer, murmuring softly.

Kitsune and Dragons alike fell as the creature seemed to fall apart while vomiting as it unraveled. A light continued to glow from within it, and as it became smaller, it released bright bursts of color that swirled outwards like that of the Northern Aurora. The ribbons of multicolored brightness pulled the creature apart even faster, until there was nothing left of the beast. Where it had been, islanders began to moan and move, all whole and covered in the thick ooze. As Killian held Emma to him, he watched Phillip stumble to his feet as one of the first to stand.

"What a small intestines," he grumbled, flicking away the slime from his clothes and hands.

Nearby, a black figure lurched upward, its mask jostling to the side.

"Philly? Philly is that you?" a woman called, her voice beautiful, lilting melodically. "I've been looking for you for so long!"

Her mask fell aside, and her eyes sparkled brightly. They were an otherworldly blue, almost violet.

"Ror? Oh Gods, Aurora?" Phillip approached her cautiously as she slipped to her feet, catching her when she almost fell forward. "Is it you? Ifrit praised, I cannot be dreaming…. Please, I -"

She threw her arms around him, and he stumbled, other voices around then erupting in surprise in turn.

A woman with red curls ran to a man who's graying hair and mustache were an unkempt mess, both of them practically howling with happiness.

"Lady, I thought I'd never see you again. I followed after you the next year -"

The red haired woman's curls bounced as she shook her head, smacking him lightly. "Louie you tramp! Are you daft? Why would you ever do that!"

Another couple openly sobbed while holding each other, unable to say much more than their names again and again.

"Roger and Anita. Lilly told me about them. They chose to go together, or not at all," Emma said quietly, startling him. She moved in his hold to let herself down, and he felt the loss of her warmth as if he had crawled into a dark cave.

Lilly and Emma met together in the midst of everything, hugging each other tightly. Emma picked up the now dimming source of light in her palm, a smooth stone, and looked at Lilly affectionately.

"You used it all to save everyone. I knew that I could trust you." Emma smiled, and Lilly cupped her cheek as they put their foreheads together.

"I had to. The magic we would use to exist wouldn't matter if there is no one here to exist." Lilly grinned. A glittering snow began to fall underneath the lingering light show in the sky, covering the landscape in mother of pearl iridescence. The barrier had finally fallen, bursting into the shimmering particles of magic. The princesses broke apart with shock as Lilly began to laugh, catching the powder in her hands.

Killian walked towards where the Dragon King and Queen were standing, looking at an ancient woman, her bald head and milky white eyes not betraying who she had been.

Cruella.

Her body was skeletal, a dark burn where her necklace had been. Her nails that remained were long and still red, but that was the only thing left of her former glory. She mumbled incoherently, laughing softly occasionally at her babbles.

Killian smirked, looking down at her bald head collecting the falling barrier remnants.

"Looks like in the end, Cruella became a husk of sorts. How fittingly ironic." Isaac spoke from behind them, the King, Queen, and Killian turning to look at him. Killian glared, his anger growing into rage.

"I'll care for her. It's the least I can do after all this," he sighed, and Killian launched himself forward, punching the man hard in the jaw.

"Killian!" Emma shrieked from nearby, as Lilly laughed. Mushu and Zorro held Killian back as he lunged after the man.

"I deserve that," Isaac slurred. "But you could have been happy, or could have taken her trinket and had happiness that way. I offered options in the worst-case scenarios, and for that you should show some grati -"

Killian felt the Darkness surge from his anger, ripping out of the Dragon's hold. He punched Isaac hard again, sending the man toppling backward.

"I owe you nothing, and if I didn't want off this accursed rock, I'd tear you into pieces," Killian snarled. A hand touched his arm and he whirled, Emma staring up at him with startled eyes.

"Killian, what is going on?" she asked, worry written across her face. "What happened? What is he talking about?"

"I -" Killian ran his tongue over his teeth. "It's nothing. Go find out where the bloody hell Agrabah is, and how long the journey will be. I'm taking a walk."

He turned on his heel and left Emma confused, not turning even when she called after him.

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By the time he had returned, showered, and changed into a different outfit not covered in what could be assumed was husk vomit, a celebration was taking place. Kitsune and Dragons lit fireworks and a band played merrily as barrels of ale were cracked open.

Mushu and Lilly danced together, laughing joyously, as Queen Maleficent slurred out the names of the returning husks.

"We welcome back Aurora along with Nana, Roger, Anita, Max, Lady, Louis, and Todd who returned from huskdom. We cannot say how good it is to have them back!" Cheers erupted, the crowd going mad. The returning husks gave bows, lifted in the air briefly by magic. "And we owe it all to the Princess of the United Realms, Emma N'lan, and her partner, Killian Jones of the Blackwater. They repay her family's part in the curse originally laid on this island, and have paid that debt in full."

Emma was seated at a table, not dancing, still looking tired. She gave a wave before draining a goblet. Her eyes caught his, but he turned away, slinking into the shadows before anyone could see he had joined the festivities.

Heading back to pack their things and prepare the ship, he was surprised by Lilly calling after him.

"What do you need, Dragon Princess?" he drawled out, and she snorted.

"What I need is for you to come and enjoy the party so Emma doesn't have to sit there and endure it alone." She placed a hand on her hip, looking at him as if he was stupid. "What happened to 'We make a hell of a team'?"

She imitated his voice in a gruff and overly accented manner as she repeated what Emma had said of them.

"None of that," he gritted out, "None of it happened. Don't mention it to me again." He nodded at her sharply, and moved to leave. When he had gotten a few brisk paces away, he heard her shout from behind him.

"For what it's worth, you both seemed happy. Emma even said that she would - "

"For what it's worth, Lilly," he spat, rounding on her. "None of this would have happened if you, your people, Cruella, and Isaac did not try this scheme. You almost…" The words caught in his throat. Swallowing hard, he continued. "You're lucky that the princess lacks any self preservation."

She'll do herself in soon enough, or I'll see to it, and take that necklace since you are so incompetent -

"I'm lucky she sees the good in everyone who deserves it, you mean?" Lilly shot back, her chin high. "You could tell her, just let her know that you both cared about each other. That alone might surprise you."

You care about one thing only. The shard, the Dagger piece, the necklace around that silly princess’s neck. We’ll get it, get it, get it and we won't kill her, but we'll play with her and make her wait in the dark. I'll let you see her and hear her screaming as she grows more and more fearful of you by the day. Oh, yes, we will bide time until the blade can be stolen. Then we will kill everyone, but save her for last -

"No. No one tells her anything. I've made my decision regarding Emma, I'm… I'm backing off. The Dark One has never been able to care about anyone. To think otherwise is a fool's errand."

And you're the fool who runs them, listening to his weak ideas. I am your master and you have been oh so willful.

I can't wait to punish you, I think I'll start with her wrists. They're so delicate, easy to break.

"But -"

"Lilly. Enough," he growled, his eyes shut tight. The Darkness babbled on with its non stop comments, the noise not a bother to Killian anymore. The thing that bothered him was the heaviness in his rib cage, the feeling of longing the Darkness either chose to ignore on purpose, or couldn't see.

"Fine." Lilly huffed, but thrust a piece of paper into his hands. "Take this at least. It wasn't as good as yours, but I did the best I could." He held the piece of parchment in his fingers, not willing to unwrap it.

She whirled around and stomped away, finally leaving him alone; just himself and his ever present parasite. He turned over the words he'd been stuck on that had caused him a visceral, sharp ache. They should not have hurt so much, nothing should if he wanted the Darkness to mind itself. Opening the paper, he let out a hiss of air. The charcoal drawing was not as good as his had been in the Dreamscape, but it still captured Emma's face hitting the sun as she wore a daisy crown. Her eyes were soft, looking at him with affection, her smile so happy. He traced the curve of her jaw, slightly smudging the black line.

Alone again, alone forever, but can you imagine how alone you will be when we succeed? I might let you keep a play toy, would you like that? Then you could make sure she never dies, just stays your pet, watching while you destroy everything.

Running over them repeatedly to induce numbness, he broke himself against them again and again, like a wave against rock.

Emma could have died.

She could have died.

What if she died?

The shard would be gone, you simpering half-wit. Stop pretending and actually trying to believe that your fantasy mattered. You were there for less than a week's time and at most ten days; she would never care for you, and we don't care about anyone but ourselves. I'll make sure she lives just long enough to get the shard. To stop your whining, I may just kill her to spare me from more when you beg me not to mark up her skin.

"I felt like I did care, I felt -"

You were under Kitsune influence. You felt nothing but a dream, and to think otherwise is a fool's errand. You're the fool, always the fool. She doesn't care about you any longer and you never cared about her. If either of you somehow do, I'll make sure to take action and correct that.

A memory swam before his eyes, pushed there by the Darkness in a swiftly brutal punishment. Emma's face as his fingers closed around her fluttering heart, the warmth evaporating in his hand as she crumpled to the ground. Her eyes gazing at him with shock, and hurt, and an intensity that made him think she might have felt -

Remember what happens?

The crush and pop bringing him pleasure that flooded his veins, feeding the black hole within him. The revulsion of feeling anything akin to delight as the life in her eyes faded. Crumpling the drawing, he shoved it roughly into his pocket.

Remember how good it felt?

Killian could not escape the cackle that rose in him, the Dark One's maniacal giggles escaping his own lips.

There you are. Remember that she was wrong. You can't defeat me, you can't control me. I am you, and you are only an extension of me.

He did not think of the party or return to the cave, spending the evening awake and somewhere far apart from any other soul, as he'd done before Emma had become a part of his routine.

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Emma sat at the ornate table, Phillip and Aurora sitting to her left around the circle, while Maleficent, Zorro, Lilly and Isaac sat to her right next to an empty chair.

"Should we wait a few more minutes for him?" Maleficent asked, looking at Emma.

Emma shook her head, looking anywhere but the empty chair. Lilly's gaze rested there for a moment before she rolled her eyes.

"Good riddance. If we have a meeting on brooding, we can consult that -"

"Daughter," Maleficent hissed. "Enough."

Emma swallowed hard, trying to settle her reeling mind. It had been almost a whole day, and Emma hadn't seen Killian once. Lilly was in an instant sour temper every time Emma asked if anyone had seen him, and had nothing but negative things to say without saying much at all. Something had happened while she had faced the challenges; she had freed a beast, ended the barrier, released the husks all under the enchanted slumber. The whispers in the village, Lilly's cautious skirting around the topic, and Killian’s outright disappearance made it abundantly clear whatever the blurry outlines of Emma's recollection were, they were important. If she could only remember.

"I first want to apologize for everything that has taken place here, and our roles in it," Maleficent stated, eyes downcast. "We are ashamed of what we did, the extent we were blinded by Cruella, and our hatred led us to make judgements of you, endangering you because of our feud. If I should meet Regina or Queen Snow, I will apologize until the end of my days. They raised a fine young woman to wear the crown."

Emma nodded, the pang of longing in her heart at her mother's mention somehow feeling fresher than before. "Thank you. Have you thought about who will represent you now that Cruella is…?"

"Yes. We have made a decision, Princess, and we feel you and your -" The Dragon King hesitated, eyes shooting to look at the empty chair, before clearing his throat. "We feel you should be privy to it now instead of later. We have elected Aurora and Phillip to what was Isaac and Cruella's status. Isaac maintains strategic planning knowledge that we cannot go without, but he will only be a voice on this council, or a tie breaker."

Emma sat up straighter, smiling slightly. "That's fantastic news!"

Lilly returned her smile, and nodded. "I thought you might approve. I haven't yet asked about Agrabah, but I also figured this council meeting would be a good place to ask -"

Isaac interrupted by laughing loudly, as the Dragon King and Queen went rigid. Confusion swept over Emma at their reaction, Lilly, Phillip, and Aurora mirroring her surprise.

"Yes…" Emma said slowly, watching carefully even as Isaac continued his laughter. "I do need to know about this Agrabah -"

Isaac's laughter became louder and more raucous as he started slapping the arm of his chair.

"Oh, oh this is - This is rich! I can't -" Isaac wheezed.

"Out! Everyone out except the princess." Standing with a roar, Zorro motioned to the doors.

Isaac's laugh carried through the halls as the others filed out, Emma's eyes following them as the doors closed. She fidgeted with her dress, the loose and gauzy cotton styles the Dragons favored soft between her fingers. Absently, she wondered what Killian was wearing.

His shirt is soft, thin cotton, light in the warm air. Between her fingers it feels like it has more substance, but there is a bias there. It may feel like more because it pulls him closer to her, his lips harder pressed against her own, chest so close she can feel the breaths he is not taking to instead take her own away.

"I don't want to lose you," she tells the memory, trying to grip it as tight as she can. It crumbles, no softness or give in her hold.

With the room empty except for the Dragon King and Queen, silence fell heavier than ever.

"So…" Emma began, breaking the stillness. Maleficent jumped, as if burned.

"Did - Er - Your parents didn't tell - Snow Margueryte Whitehart did not tell you of Agrabah?" Maleficent asked, her and Zorro exchanging glances. She laughed, in disbelief. "Of all the strangeness in this world and the realms. For me to be the one to deliver more of your Mother's failures."

"I don't understand -" Emma began, but Maleficent cut her off with a snort.

"Of course you don't understand. Your parents truly let you fall down here blind. Even your guide could not help you with this, as he would have never unleashed the Goblin's rage there." Maleficent sighed, heavily.

"What do you know of your mother's family, princessa?" Zorro asked, his dark eyes fixed on her own.

Emma swallowed hard, her throat still tight. "I don't know much. I only recently learned that she was placed as queen, and only because everyone thought she would die."

Maleficent made a weighing motion with her hands, wincing slightly. "Not… Not exactly. Her father was an amazing inventor, and scientist. As was her mother. The two created the separate realms, using Hol control of time and space, the ancient Elemental magics, and other magic techniques unknown to us. It became clear that after a certain number of these realms were made, some were more stable than others."

Zorro rubbed at his eyes in a wince, as Maleficent began to pace. "Some were given away for the 'greater good', which bought your grandparents and mother their title. What use is a title if you are a poor house with no respect? Your grandfather secretly sold off tiny bubbles of realms that could go unsuspected. One of these is Agrabah."

"Of course, there is the matter of who they turned away in turn," Zorro said, quietly, opening his eyes and steepling his fingers. "And they turned away a request from the Goblins for a pocket realm, because of their agreement with the King of the time. Your father's father, and your grandfather."

Maleficent returned to her seat, looking at Emma with a small bit of what Emma thought might be genuine sympathy.

Emma cocked her head, leaning over the table to lay her face in her hands and steady the sudden shakes that overtook her.

"Why - But what could the Goblins have been up to then? Surely it was nefarious and my grandparents refused on that principle -"

The Dragon King and Queen exchanged unsettled glances, something flickering between them that cast a shadow across their faces.

"That's not important, but what Agrabah became is." Maleficent said, smiling. "It's a black market magic and arcane goods port. You can get in and out with simple magic keys, but the Sultan added another barrier of protection. He wove Djinn magic into the realm’s portal. No threats can get into Agrabah, as anyone who has ill intentions cannot make it through."

"That's - that's incredible!" Emma sputtered. "How did they -"

"Djinn magic is more ancient than our own, and incomparably more powerful than a Kitsune's or Hol. They are the children of the Old Gods, bound with chains of servitude by the hands of their parentage. They could rip apart the cosmos with a blink, but few remain. They grant three wishes to their masters and are then forced to turn to stardust, learning everything and having the greatest magics as part of them, until such time as they can return or are freed to choose their own existence." Maleficent leaned against her husband, smiling gently. "Very few, if any, have actually been freed. The Sultan married his Djinn after he freed her."

"That's… that's absolutely unbelievable. I thought Djinn were at the very least extinct, if not made up entirely," Emma said with wide eyes. "How will I get in?"

"That is what we must discuss," Zorro said, standing. He poured more wine into his goblet, offering some to Emma which she refused.

"Princessa…" Maleficent began, dragging out the word.

"We offer you our key to go to Agrabah and the location," Zorro said calmly, walking to the window so he stood with his back to her.

"Yes, I accept, we -"

"On the grounds that we do not accept terms of allyship, or offer our aid to you in any manner that belies permanence, or expectation of our presence in battle," Zorro finished, swirling his wine.

Emma blinked, unsure of what she had actually heard.

"I am truly sorry we cannot come to your aid at this juncture," Maleficent said calmly, giving Emma's hand a squeeze. Emma ripped it away, glaring. "We are just too weak, and too vulnerable. We've voted not to reveal ourselves until we have rebuilt and have weighed our place in the scheme of this war.

"I saved you!" Emma hissed out, rubbing her tightening chest. "I freed you! You owe me a debt of enormous magnitude!"

"We owe you a great deal for saving us, this is true," Zorro said, walking back to the table to stand behind Maleficent. "But we must place the continued longevity of our species under the lens of time - the Goblins are a fierce foe. We must place our bets where there is the least risk."

"It is not to say we will not come should you need our aid, but that it is understandable that our situation is precarious and volatile. Should you call, we will try." Maleficent nodded with a smile.

Emma wished Killian was there, her mouth dry and tears threatening to spill over her burning eyes. She swallowed hard.

"I suppose there is no debating with you on this, or changing your current decision," Emma rasped out as her throat closed.

"No," Maleficent said sadly. "No there is not."

"I accept your terms," Emma whispered, standing and leaving without any other words.

As soon as the doors closed, Lilly was there with a mask of fury.

"I promise Emma, I will show up if you fight. My parents may not be willing to declare it, but I declare myself -"

"Lilly, I just…" Emma let out a sigh, before coughing. "I'm really tired. I just can't think straight right now. I can't -" Lilly looked concerned, helping Emma as she began to cough harder, her body shaking. Phillip and Aurora were suddenly there too, as Emma felt herself struggling. "I'm alright, I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well, please -"

"Princess, we the Kitsune will be there, by Fiore," Aurora soothed, Phillip nodding.

Lilly cut in, her voice raised as Emma tried to push her way through to the waiting sunlight of the terrace. "And by Ifrit's horn, I swear Mushu and I -"

"Stop, just, stop -" Emma rasped, bursting out into the sunshine with a stumble, directly into Killian.

He grunted, looking down at her. He seemed as exhausted as she felt, his jaw tensed and his annoyance clear. Pushing herself up as he looked at her with growing irritation, Emma wondered briefly why everyone seemed to be angry with her.

"You taste like the sweetest of wines." His voice reverberated through the skin below her temple, before his lips met hers again.

They broke apart, and he stared at her with warmth, her heart beating faster.

It became increasingly harder to breathe, and she wobbled, unable to fully stand. When she reached for him, he took a step back, his nose wrinkling in a way that made the burn in her chest taper into an ache.

"I'm preparing the ship, did you get the coordinates for this Alibaba?" Killian spat at her, and Emma flinched slightly as she stood. His eyes widened, her fear seemingly upsetting him further, before turning to slits of ice.

"I - Agrabah - Yes, not yet but I -"

"Then GET them, instead of stumbling into the only one of us doing actual work!" His face contorted into an expression of hatred as he yelled, Emma trying not to flinch away again. His hands balled into fists, a snarl on his lips. "It's literally you and I on that mish-mash excuse of a vessel, but yes, attend another meeting, Princess. I'm happy to do all the work, sailing and God knows whatever else crops up -"

"Hey!" Lilly made her way over to them, rubbing Emma's back gently. "Let me go with you then. I'll help." Lilly looked at Emma, who in turn glanced at Killian, smiling at him softly. His expression and vehement glare at Lilly wiped her smile away, her hands beginning to shake as she frowned.

"Why would I ever let you of all creatures on this rock, in any realm, on my vessel?" he growled. Lilly took a step back, confused. His voice grew louder, and angrier. "You are a spoiled, brash, easily manipulated, inexperienced, and underwhelming brat with no loyalty to anything but your own scaly hide. You can fly now because the Princess freed you; do that instead - And if you feel inclined, take my advice to better the world by soaring straight into a volcano."

"Killian!" Emma admonished, looked at him with a mix of shock, anger, and wide eyed upset.

"I -" he began, looking as if he was going to round on her too, before dropping his shoulders, and spitting on the ground. "Sorry. This - I'm in a bad temper. I just want to get there, and finish out my services with you. Thank the Gods that this Agra-blah is supposedly only a handful of days away," he said pointedly to her, and Emma saw his jaw muscles twitching.

"Oh," she breathed out. Her chest hurt, and she rubbed against the skin there as her throat constricted painfully. "I didn't… You don't have to feel obligated to serve me as if you were my knight, or… Listen, let's talk about this later. I don't think that decision should be made like this."

"I made you a promise to finish this out," he said simply, turning away from them to look at the ship. "I think it's best that I let you seek better companions and counsel once we get there."

"I guess it's also better that Lilly not come then," Emma whispered, her voice going hoarse, breathing harder. She turned to Lilly, who was glaring at Killian with darkened eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't -"

"No, Emma. It's okay. It's not your fault or burden to bear other's weaknesses," Lilly spat, and Killian spun around, looking feral.

"Whoa!" Emma stepped between them, confused. Her voice was strained, but she coughed, clearing her throat. "Did something happen? What is going on with you two, come on -"

"Nothing!" both of them snarled, Killian ripping away from her to stalk back toward the island. Lilly grunted as he passed in acknowledgement and disdain.

"I feel like I am missing something big," Emma said after a moment of watching him go. "I know you all keep saying that no one remembers what happened in the rites, but I can't help but feel -"

Lilly let out a dark laugh, without any mirth. "Trust me. It's better you stop asking, and accept that it's all forgotten. Especially now."

Emma's chest burned, the cold autumn chill in her lungs almost overwhelming as she coughed, the prevailing feeling that she had lost something important and precious beyond measure.

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Killian could not hear himself think, the raucous and jarring noise of the Darkness growing worse as he tried to keep himself together. It had tripled its efforts as soon as he had agreed that it was right; he should stay away from the princess, with the added measure of his removal entirely once she settled into Agrabah.

THE SHARD, WE NEED THE SHARD YOU USELESS -

"I don't need anything from her, remember?" he seethed, and let the barbs of it lash through him. "Your bloody words, not mine."

The Darkness howled, doubling its effort to break him. Lilly bore the brunt of his pain with her ridiculous request, his rage sputtering out when Emma looked at him like she had when they had fallen into this world, so long ago. Her questioning and tremulous look disarmed him, the cool air growing colder as any softness he had once worked for died in her emerald eyes.

He felt sick, and maybe he was. He did not need to sleep, to eat, to have moments of silence or sanity. He did not require them to survive in the hellish state of inward decay the Darkness called this immortality, and did not need companionship outside of its preferred hateful cohabitation. The moments of having quiet, of waking to listen only to whispers instead of shrieks as Emma's breathing marked the passage of time had been a reprieve of clarity that now crippled him in their preciousness. Holding feelings like this from the Darkness as it tore him apart, he wished that he could die.

The call of his name relit the hatred for his predicament, which grew exponentially when he saw who dared to utter it.

"Killian, I need a moment. We seek passage to Agrabah, because -"

"I just told the Dragon Princess in no uncertain terms to fuck off, and you, you both, of all the parties on this wretched pile of sand believe I should play ferry?" He grinned with malice, and Chihiro straightened with a gulp, Haku behind her showing no change as his steely olive eyes saw more than Killian could protect from.

"We don't ask for you or ourselves, Dark One," Haku stated with annoyance. His gaze shifted, and Killian turned to follow it, finding it resting on Emma. She was sitting, rubbing her solar plexus, and clearing her raspy throat on the end of the docks with her feet dipped in the water. "The princess is displaying the early stages of an illness born of poisoning within the dream state - a poisoned heart, specifically."

Killian laughed, the look of surprise on Chihiro's face making the situation even more amusing.

"You mean to tell me that you now care about the well-being of the woman you sent to death?" He felt his grin widen into something crooked, the Darkness in his veins crackling with power.

"You don't understand, please -" Chihiro bowed her head slightly, begging him to listen, even as Haku stood absolutely unchanged in his demeanor. Everything in Killian screamed for him to be broken, for Killian to deal a blow that caused visible damage to the Dragon.

"We are not without care for the hands that freed us," Haku intoned. "The princess, she is important to you. We offer this in reconciliation for what came to pass."

Carding a hand over his face and through his hair, Killian laughed incredulously.

Chihiro wrung her hands, her lip between her teeth, eyes cast down. "I know it won't undo our wrongs, but if Emma is ill, if the symptoms she is having are linked to what we believe them to be, she will need special care that only a healer from this island can provide. You will be too far away by the time it progresses -"

"The part where we are gone, and far away from all of you accursed creatures is the only thing in that statement I give a sodding fuck about. Who knows how you will poison us should we fall for your airs again," Killian hissed, and Haku rolled his eyes.

"Please, my lord, I am begging you for your lady's and my future Queen's wellbeing," Chihiro bowed lower, prostrating herself. "Did something dark touch her while she dreamt?"

Killian felt every part of him constrict, his lungs unable to find air.

"Killian!" Emma choked out, her heart warm in his palm, the way it fluttered and beat out of control as his fingers bent against his will. Her wheeze at his sudden tightening grip broke him -

You can always be broken again and again, and then again, vessel.

"How would I know if the princess was under threat in your rituals? I know Cruella was lurking, amongst several dozen hungry spirits seeking to hurt her - but yes," he growled menacingly, eyes flashing, "I suppose any manner of things could have had a dark touch on the princess."

"Please, I know you were there with her in her dreams. The Spirits of those who could not return have told us of the strength in your many lives together. We know you had feelings for each other, and we respect your decision to not follow that path -"

Killian bristled, his jaw tight as he ground his teeth. They all knew. He had to get away from this island before Emma found out the truth.

"But, if something dark hit her heart, it's like the story of the ancient princesses of Arendelle. Where the Queen of Ice accidentally froze her eldest daughter's mind, giving her greater mastery of the freezing element. She froze the mind of each of her children, and they their own, all but her seventh daughter, Ilsa. Ilsa fell in love with a Merman of the Southern Isles. A. At the time, it was forbidden to marry outside of a tribe, let alone race. Ilsa refused to take her ice magic, and ran away against her mother's wishes…"

Killian barked out another laugh, rolling his eyes. "Does your fairy-tale have a point?"

"The Ice Queen touched Ilsa's heart, gripped it actually, plucking it from her chest. She performed the ice ritual, but while holding her daughter's heart, a small bit of ice fell on it," Chihiro said, sadly. "The mind can be changed, and convinced that it is alright." She looked at Killian as if she could see through him to the part that felt only the deepest melancholy hearing her tale, her gaze piercing. "The heart knows when something is wrong."

Killian felt a chill run up his spine. Not able to stop himself, he asked the question he needed to know the answer to. "What happened to her?"

"When a heart is touched by strong magic on any plane, fueled by stronger emotions, it can fall prey to that magic strangling it." He knew the answer, even as she continued with clear sorrow. "The princess froze to death. They believed True Love’s Kiss would heal her, but upon her dismissal of his affection, the Merman swam as deep into the sea as he could, never to be seen again. She melted eventually, some say, to join him."

"I believe it could be another type of poisoned heart," Haku began, but Killian was reeling. He cut Haku off, furious at everything on the island, at what this could mean, and for believing any of these serpent's treacherous lies. Emma was fine.

"Enough."

Remember the Dark One, she said. Maybe the silly little princess remembers you quite literally breaking her heart? Is that enough for you?

"Let us at least give you both some herbal remedies, and medicine. Please, for Emma's sake -" Chihiro begged, looking absolutely terrified.

"For Emma’s sake?" Killian felt as if anger was ripping him apart, something that wasn't dark at all tearing at him to listen while the Darkness collided with it in turn, screaming at him to make them pay. "Enough! You took all her magic, risked her death, risked her sanity, and dare to say her sake? She's weak because of you. Directly because of you! Enough! I have heard enough of your lies, don't even bother. Bugger off."

"If they hit a blow to her heart, she'll die!" Chihiro sobbed. "Do you want that guilt? That you knew she was dying but like a coward, watched her waste away? Don't you care at all?"

They are blaming you for that silly girl's cough, but surely your closeness and false feelings for the princess didn't cause her injury! Imagine her dying because of you here in the real world. What a pity, truly. Another name on that long list of yours…

Liam flashed before his eyes as the Darkness pushed, numbing every sensation except his anger.

"I find that I actually don't, any longer." Killian shrugged, the crooked smile back as he adjusted to the chaos in his mind. "Fuck off, both of you, and don't come near me again."

Chihiro pulled at his cloak and he wrenched away, continuing onto the ship. There the Darkness talked in barbs or crawled under his flesh, the lack of rest pressing into him like sharpened points against his temples. The mundane task of readying the ship as Emma gathered the coordinates provided little comfort, but made the time pass.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Another day passed as the Kitsune and Dragons helped with coordinates, stocking their ship, and providing them an abundance of awards for breaking the barrier. Casks of spiced cider, a wheel of smoked cheese, dried meats rubbed in herbal salts, and satchels of a pepper spiced chocolate sat in the galley, while Emma was gifted an emerald bangle, fine dresses, and silken undergarments. They were also gifted with good down pillows and a beautiful silk divan patterned in roses that Emma could not wait to spread over the bunk.

Haku and Chihiro had brought her the strangest gifts as they departed, despite Emma's promises that their betrayal was forgiven. Chihiro seemed relieved by this, but still upset, while Haku looked unworried and absolutely aloof in totality about his roles in the rites. Both used hushed tones as they explained what things were, clearly trying not to be noticed by someone.

The gift they gave was a pressed ball of a ground paste, dried to make it easier to preserve. It reminded Emma of a softer and denser version of a gift she had been given by a courtier, a fragrant fizzing thing to place within one's bathing waters.

"This is for eating, though," Chihiro whispered conspiratorially. "It is very bitter, but you must take a bite of it three times a day for seven days. Morning, afternoon, and evening. If the taste is too much, gargle with sea water before and after."

"Alright. Thanks?" Emma tried not to sound too perplexed, but Haku stopped her with a firm hand before she could turn from them.

"Princess, that medicine is as powerful as it gets. I was saving it to attempt to break Chihiro from the rites before your arrival." For once Haku looked momentarily ashamed, casting his eyes to look at her, his mouth downturned at the corners. "I know that what I have done cannot be undone, but I owe you this much: Do not let the Dark One know that you are taking that medicine."

"I tell Killian everything," Emma said sharply, and Chihiro shook her head, hands covering her lips. "Not telling him about this, that sounds -"

"I know how it sounds, but you must not. He believes our aim is to hurt you." Chihiro shook her head. "I would have gone willingly to the life of a husk, if not for you. It was my pride, honor, and duty. You saved not only me from this sentence, but all those who could have fallen prey to Cruella's plans."

Chihiro took Emma's hand, placing it over her heart.

"I give you one last blessing, as this medicine will not heal you completely until your magic returns in full." Wind curled around them, carrying soft snowflakes that had begun to fall. Emma breathed out a puff of air, feeling her lungs loosen as Chihiro dropped her hand. "I have given you a soot sprite charm. It will bind to you, and try to stay any illness you suffer with charcoal sprites made from our oldest pines. Should you see soot marks, you will know it is working."

"Um, thanks I guess, but I'm sure this is just a cold. The change of the seasons, stress, traveling, having no healing magic -"

Haku interrupted Emma's list with a grunt. "No. This is - I wish we were allowed to go with you so we could treat you if need be. The Dark One has refused us." Emma tried to hide her surprise, lips parting in shock. "This is as good as we can give. If you see dark smudges, know that the soot sprites are working. We don't wish ill tidings on you. You have changed our minds, my mind, which is no easy task. You must stay alive, so we can come to your aid against the Goblin menace."

"Wow." Emma swallowed, and Haku bowed his head. "Thank you. Truly."

"No, Princess." Chihiro smiled, "Thank you. We have a future because of you. We have a chance to see a world that might allow us to create life." She blushed deeply, and next to her Haku coughed as redness creeped across his own face. "We owe you everything and more. You must be well."

Emma nodded, eyes misting as she watched the two walk away from the dock. Lilly approached, and Emma began crying in earnest, hugging Lilly tightly.

"Are you sure I can't stow away, or meet you there?" Lilly held her tightly, and Emma shook her head. "I just - what if something happens to you? What if you leave the barrier and Nil -"

"We'll be fine. I'll find a way to safely send word to you when we find what we need there." Emma pulled away, gripping her friend's shoulders tightly. "You… You are like a sister to me, equal only to my friend Ruby. Thank you for everything, my dear friend."

Lilly laughed, throwing her head back. When she'd stopped, she grinned through happy sobs. "I'm the shittiest sister you could have ever been stuck with, but I am glad you think of me that fondly."

"Hush up, you dingbat."

"It's pronounced Dragon, you uncultured elitist Fae snob."

Emma laughed, coughing slightly as they hugged again.

"Princess!" Killian shouted, his voice gruff. "Any bloody time now, thanks!"

"Goodbye, Lilly." Emma let go of her friend, but Lilly held fast. "What?"

"Just… Killian went through a lot to save you. I don't know why he refuses to care for you after proving it, but you deserve to know that he… You deserve better." Lilly looked at her feet, mumbling the last part of his confession.

"Wait, what? Lilly, I -"

"Princess! Now or never!" Killian yelled.

"One of the most ancient magics of all, that came before even we Dragons, is the need to be close to someone. To… To care about them." Lilly pulled away, cupping Emma's cheek. She leveled her gaze directly into Emma's. "Just be sure to share closeness with someone worthy of you." Emma didn't have time to reply before Lilly waved goodbye, launching herself into the air in her sleek Dragon form. Emma wandered confused back to the ship, unsure why she felt nothing but dread.

They set off out of the now fog dense cove, sliding through the thick white blanket that would conceal the isle from now on. Emma looked out on the mist as it dissipated into a gray cloudy day, the sea ahead dark peppered with small patches of the sun's rays. The moment they met the open sky, she watched Killian relax slightly at the wheel.

"It's where I feel most at peace. I could stare at the sea all day. The only thing as beautiful is you smiling like that at me."

"You're easy to smile at, Killian. One might even go as far as saying easy on the eyes." His amused look of false shock made her snort.

Batting his eyelashes at her innocently, her laughter made his grin grow wider. "One might say? Which one, hmm? You?"

"Perhaps."

"Is everything alright?" she asked, and his eyes flicked toward her then back to the sea. "Killian, I guess, I mean… I know things aren't alright, but I don't understand why, or why no one would tell me what happened -"

"Because it doesn't bloody well matter what happened, and nothing happened, so stop talking about it. Stop asking about it, just accept that you will never need to know!" Killian shouted as he advanced on her, his jaw clenched and eyes bloodshot.

"Something is wrong, I'm not stupid. I can tell that something did happen." Emma raised her chin, and his hands reached forward, fingers going tense until he raised both in frustration. "You're different, you aren't -"

"Are you sure that you aren't stupid, Princess?" he growled out, beginning to pace in front of her. In the overcast dim, it was easier to see the Darkness as it poured off of him like overflowing steam atop a bubbling cauldron, trailing his movement. Emma let her eyes widen, but quickly covered the rest of her hurt with the anger that followed after. "You rush into danger, you have no self preservation, you trust anyone -"

"I used to trust you," Emma interrupted, trying to catch her breath. "The Darkness is overwhelming you like before. I can help you, we can beat it back again. This isn't you."

"It definitely is, Princess. It isn't the Darkness that is pressing questions or throwing itself into danger. I'm sorry that isn't something you accept, just like how you won't accept that nothing happened in those bloody rites. Nothing! But you keep asking, keep bringing it up, trying to find something that isn't there. I used to think you were intelligent, how's that?"

"To hell with you, Killian. Don't come to the bunk tonight. I don't want you anywhere near me with this sort of -"

"I wasn't planning to," Killian cut her off, with vehemence. "I find that sleeping next to you made me lose the sharpness of my acuity. You will sleep there in the bunk. I will maintain my post."

"Good!" Emma shouted at him, stomping away. "Just great. More room for me to spread out. Good!"

"It is good, it's better than good!" he yelled back, throwing up his hands.

"Fine! Shut up about it then!" Emma shouted in reply.

"Fine!"

Emma's voice echoed up from the stairs below. "Fine!"

The door slammed, and quiet fell at last.

Emma laid down, wondering why she was crying. Partially in anger, but there was something else that made her want to yell at Killian. It sat heavily, dangling itself just out of reach in her mind as if the answer was on the tip of her tongue. He was absolutely out of line, completely disrespectful, every line they had created to make their unstable alliance work torn to shreds by his actions. Worse still was that there was no way to get through to him; he was absolutely lost to her in this mood. Emma screamed into her pillow, for what felt like hours, until her voice was raw. Sleep came with difficulty as her lungs burned, her head swimming with questions.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

The morning light hit Emma's face, waking her from a fitful sleep. Her dreams were plagued with strange moments of intense deja vu or scraps of nightmares that made her jump awake. Her body felt sore from her coughing when she wanted to scream, her throat still achingly sore. She was in a way glad, her wheezing gasps had not alerted Killian to her distress like her screaming might have. He most likely wouldn't have bothered anyway with how awful he was being, but she wasn't ready to face him regardless. Grabbing the medicine Chihiro and Haku had given her, she stood stretching. She poured a bowl of porridge from the crock in the small cooking station they called a galley, heading up on deck to eat.

Killian sat near the wheel, choosing not to regard her as she moved toward the front of the ship, beginning to try swallowing porridge down her raw throat. She eyed the medicine with curiosity, peeling back the careful wrapping of waxy paper. Taking a small bite, she turned and retched over the side immediately, the bitterness in her mouth overwhelming.

"Swan, er… Princess, are you alright?" Killian walked toward her as she swished porridge around in her mouth to cover the taste. "Did you lose your sea legs, lass? Or is it just your wee bit of a bug you've been working on losing since we left the island?"

"Now you make conversation?" Emma rasped, her voice half a hoarse whisper, and half a shrill hiss of uneasy breathing. The medicine had eased her burning throat where it had touched, but she had swallowed so little. "If you must know, I am feeling unwell. I was given this by Chihiro; it is supposed to help my throat feel less like I've swallowed broken glass and boiling tar."

Killian’s eyes flashed a steely blue, his face souring. Emma remembered Chihiro's warning, shivering a bit as he stalked toward her. The Darkness poured off of him in waves that made her feel more nauseated as she turned her back to him. Taking a large bite of porridge, she bit into the medicine only for it to be pulled from her hands by Killian, who wrenched it away before launching it into the waves.

"Killian!" Emma tried to shout, but her throat was tight, fighting the mixture of rice, milk, and bitter herbs that made her gag. She swallowed hard, panting in short breaths. "... Why…?"

"Are you completely stupid? Absolutely, completely, and utterly moronic to a fault?" he hissed, and Emma pressed herself against the shiprail while her knees buckled. "Do you crave dying, you brat? That's it, isn't it? You want to fail everyone and simply can't wait to throw yourself into the next disaster, for hope that it will -"

"N-no!" Emma managed to groan through her chest burning, even as her throat's soreness began to ease. Her bowl clattered into pieces on the sun lit wood.

"No? Oh that's precious, truly Princess, so precious. You took who even knows what from the two that poisoned me, and sent you - sent… Who tried to hurt you, and you thought, 'gee, maybe I'll eat this?' is that it?" He gripped her wrist, eyes cold and mouth twisted. "Do you know what you made me - Do you think I want your blood on my hands, even by your own lack of caution? Well? Do you!?"

"I might do the same! If someone I loved was in danger, I would be desperate." Her throat was still tight, as she spoke in bursts of raspy words. "I don't know if I can say I wouldn't do the same. We both are fine, and so are they!"

"You think we're both fine?" Killian screamed, his hand grew tighter around her bones, her yelp turned into a squeak.

"Killian -" Emma whimpered, trying to pull on his fingers to loosen their grip on her. "Please stop, please -"

"Why would you trust them?" he roared, his grip tighter, and the Darkness pressing on her, pushing itself against the sliver of magic she could feel. "What is wrong with you, why can't you just -" Emma whimpered again, his eyes meeting her own.

Something in her mind pulled free, her fear turning to fight. Her chest felt as if it might explode from its wound tightness. All of her burned, her body beginning to shake as she reached up to smack him.

"You're hurting me!" Emma wheezed, her bones grinding in his harsh grasp. His other hand caught hers, her limp wrist not much of a threat even as her fingers met his cheek.

The Darkness receded around him, leaving her gasping while Killian let go of her immediately.

He looked wild, crunching the broken bowl under his boots, staring at her as she cradled where he had dug in his fingers. She watched him run a shaky hand over his face while attempting to catch his breath, the short puffs bright in the air.

"What is wrong with you?" she bit out, rubbing at her wrist. He looked genuinely horrified, truly upset, before she pushed past him to head back down below.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Time stretched indefinitely, unbroken by their need to avoid each other at all costs. He tried to make a small offering of an apology by way of a sleeping draught, but Emma fought every urge to slosh it out over his head. If she wasn't as tired as she had been feeling, she couldn't say it was off the table. She was furious with him. Absolutely livid, her body actually going warm with rage at the mere thought of his actions. It was as if they were back at the beginning of their forced comradery, his springs stretched to snapping. Throwing up her hands again, she flopped back into the bunk, turning to scream into a pillow.

Or attempt to, her throat protesting even the smallest of noises. Her body hurt, coughs rattling her entirely, and her throat was still tight, leaving her with taking painful, wheezing breaths. Her time was broken into periods of rage, exhaustion, sickness, and avoiding anywhere on the ship she wasn't alone. Killian had been obviously distressed when she was near him, the Darkness itself curling around him like some sort of chain when she managed to catch glimpses of it. He didn't speak when she slammed together what she needed, only pretended to be ignoring her while they both cast quick looks at each other. Several times it sounded like he might start to talk, but he swallowed hard or closed his lips into a firm line instead.

The sleeping draught he placed on the table with no note or explanation meant he had been in the Captain’s quarters, which also meant he had been there when she hadn't or as she slept. Her dreams had been haunted by him increasingly in ways that made no sense to her; how mortifying if a moan had slid past her lips? Or if her choked screaming from nightmares had been heard, and he had seen her begging for his help? If he had come in when she was having one of these many fits, and that's why he was offering the draught… Emma's cheeks flamed at the thought. It didn't help that the dreams were beyond realistic: Emma could feel the details more and more, as if she was there.

And then there was… Her anger turned itself inside out in her chest, still heated but in a different way. There was the strange wonderfulness that was Killian’s appearances. At first it had been unexpected, but as these dreams progressed further he became a familiar fixture until he morphed into something more - someone more. More often now she dreamed of his closeness and the warmth of him, the feel of his large hands against her skin, his strength physically as he tickled her before stealing a kiss from her lips -

His lips. How could she be thinking of Killian’s lips when he had hurt her and degraded her like that? Why couldn't she dream of him as he was, an asshole with no feelings but for himself? He hadn't changed, and if she believed he might, his fits of rage made it clear she was wrong. That medicine had helped with her cough and eased the pressure in her chest after an hour or so of swallowing it down, but now it was lost to the sea. Emma wished that it wasn't gone as she rubbed her aching chest.

Killian knocked on the door, and she scowled even as her anger twisted itself into knots. Standing, she brushed down her skirts, the sudden shift making her dizzy for a moment. Taking a sharp breath, Emma caught herself on the desk until the spots in her vision cleared. When she opened the door to answer, Killian was walking away and turned to look at her. Emma noticed he looked tired, hair more wild and in desperate need of a trim, stubble left to grow into a scruffy beard, and his body language almost unsure instead of feral.

He stared at her without speaking until she moved to cross her arms in annoyance.

"I took the maps from my desk. Agrabah is five or so days away pending fair winds," he stated after clearing his throat.

Emma nodded, turning to go back into the cabin. He should have left a note, not that she wouldn't have ripped it up and left it back outside the door, but he didn't need to talk to her so she had to see his stupid face with his stupid blue eyes -

"Swan, wait!" Killian stood in the doorway, Emma sitting to listen with a bored face. Her heart raced. He walked towards her looking at her with curiosity. "You still look ill, are you sure you're -"

"Don't start to worry about me now, since you threw that medicine away," Emma snapped. His face fell, before becoming angry.

"They poisoned me. There is no way -"

"Yeah, they did that to you, the immortal one. Not me. They told me to avoid you because of this, to hide that medicine - which worked, by the way - from you. I trust Chihiro. I trust Lilly. I don't trust you like I used to." Her eyes narrowed at him, widening only briefly at the shocked, sad silent nod he gave in reply before retreating. "Why don't you just go."

He stopped briefly at the door, seemingly struggling to speak.

"As you wish, Princess. I just... I'm sorry."

When the door closed behind him, Emma felt her stomach drop. Taking the sleeping draught's bottle in one hand as Killian had taught her, she popped the cork and took a long swig.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Don't blame me, Dearie.

It was another of the Darkness’s long hisses in Killian’s ear as the days ground on. A few days had turned into two weeks due to poor winds and heavy snow. The sea was deep and cold where there was at least no ice to cut through, but the chill in the air was nothing to Emma's cold shoulder. It physically hurt to hear her whimper Nil's name in her nightmares knowing what they entailed, his own sleep non-existent as the Darkness raked him across coals.

You don't need sleep, you great imbecile. You have grown soft, so fucking soft.

He grunted in reply, looking out over the waves. Snow dusted him as he moved around, pushing it off his deck as he tried to think without the Darkness interrupting.

Emma hated him, currently. There was no doubt of it with the way she regarded him, and how he had lost his bloody mind. The Darkness was pressing hard against him, exploiting his lack of sleep, his weaknesses, and his fears with ease again. He had told her that he wanted to be free of her, then gone on to catch himself before striking her, and then he had almost broken her wrist -

You should have gone and broken it. She deserves to know how much you need to be freed of her. Get the shard and leave her, get over your fear of her eventual grizzly death. She's lucky to have made it this far.

The part of himself Killian hid away from the Darkness had bloomed as he and Emma lost themselves in dreams. Now he escaped to its warmth frequently knowing the Darkness could not follow, to escape it for brief moments. Thinking of Emma dying, thinking of her being sick, thinking of the very idea that he could be the cause of some 'poisoned heart' - the worry could exist in the tiny space before his prison warden demanded he stop caring.

He couldn't stop caring. Everything reminded him that she wasn't his in the waking world - that he couldn't - that the temptation to comfort her could be so easily given into if he simply laid next to her, throwing caution to the winds the Darkness churned out.

The sleeping draught had been a peace offering and a salve on his breaking will, an attempt to prevent her from whimpering his name in her sleep as his sanity waned. Hearing her beg for him to help her, the way her whimpers of Nil's name made him irrationally emotional, or the sighs he had only heard her make when his tongue moved past the seam of her soft lips were too much. The Darkness tortured him with the noises, his ears picking them up from across the ship.

Emma hadn't taken it until his cowardly failure at apologizing to her, sleeping in an almost eerie silence for hours. She woke only to relieve herself and quickly eat, ignoring him as if he didn't exist. She disappeared from the ship as if she was only a ghost. It was lonely, but better than allowing himself to get too close to her again.

It must have been lonely for her too. As her sleeping increased, she seemed to seek him out more. Being in his presence wasn't enough, and soon she was talking to him again. He ignored her, which made her more persistent.

"How's your hand?" she asked, still trying to make conversation. He grunted, and she came closer as he hid his wrapped palm. "Stop, let me -"

"It's fine," Killian growled, but she only rolled her eyes, carefully undoing the bandage.

"You really shouldn't let it go more than a few days without healing of some sort. You’ll get an infection," Emma said quietly.

"What," he said tersely, annoyed by the softness of her touch and the way she treated him with gentle concern. "Worried I'll die, Princess?"

Her lips became a thin line at his sarcasm, and she huffed. "Don't be an ass. I do still worry about you, even when..." Emma trailed off, the corners of her mouth turned down.

He blinked, and scowled at her. "Don't. Save it for yourself and your problems."

"Killian," she sighed, her breath catching a bit so that she had to clear her throat. "My problems are yours too. We are in this together. Besides, you are such a child when you're sick. Remember how you were laid up for almost two whole weeks after catching some port fever? You were so miserable, the crew and I could barely stand you. You're lucky that I was so patient with you as a pirate."

He couldn't breathe. She remembered.

They had been together on a ship, him a pirate and her a waif he truly had lov -

No. No you didn't. Don't you dare even think that. You know that you were manipulated - you feel nothing.

He watched her hum to herself as his palm met the air, the wound foul smelling and swollen red. She looked at it with disdain, but he felt her magic begin to pull away the swelling and the heat, soothing slightly before coming to a sudden stop.

"That's… I don't understand, my magic should be working?"

Emma blinked up at him, and he noticed she was sweating slightly, her hand shaking as it held his.

"Are you alright Princess?" Killian asked carefully. "I haven't been sick around you, and you seem… confused. Er, what were you saying -"

"I don't know…" she whispered, the trembling increasing as her brows pinched together. "I just, I'm so tired. I don't…" She swayed, holding her palm to her forehead. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so out of it, and I feel tired to my bones. Then my magic isn't working, I just…"

"You're probably just reacting to that draught still, hallucinating all sorts of things." He turned away, refusing to look at her for too long. Rewrapping his hand, he heard her hum in agreement, the noise turning into a raspy wheeze, and then a coughing fit. "Come eat something then go lay down again or have a respite -"

Emma collapsed, falling sideways onto the deck, hitting hard against the wood. Killian was at her side in a matter of seconds as he cursed, carefully pulling her into his arms to cradle her. Her cheeks were bright red, far more than just sun coloring up close against yellowish pale skin, her forehead radiating heat when he laid the back of his hand to it. How had he not noticed, how could he have not seen how sick she was?

He had been avoiding her every moment he could; ignoring her, pretending to not hear her coughing, shrugging off her need for more sleep, not wearing a coat in the chill, her lack of appetite -

Killian let out an even longer string of expletives, a small gash opening on her temple. Helping her down to the bunk, she thanked him in a barely there whisper before almost immediately going to sleep.

Emma did not wake for hours, his worry evolving into something much greater. She was sluggish, asked for water with a strained voice, coughing herself back into a restless sleep. She seemed to deteriorate quickly, her usual energy replaced by exhaustion, leaving her winded from climbing the stairs or ladder to start. By the time they approached the coordinates of the portal, she could barely pull herself out of his bunk, and her cough had become much more violent.

Killian found it harder than ever to be in her presence, her pleas for him to comfort her too tempting. He instead made a clear cut schedule that primarily focused on caring for her while she slept, with a few quick checks during the day.

The Dragons had given them some meat, and he boiled it down over a small flame until it was broth, feeding it carefully to the princess as she attempted to fight sleep.

"Please, Killian, please don't let Cruella take you from me. I need you here, I need you. Don’t let her hurt you, I can't keep Milah's memory alive …"

Killian blinked, his hand almost dropping the spoon that he held. She couldn't be remembering, it was impossible. Emma let out another series of fitful gasps, trying to bring air into her lungs. Her back arched, the fabric of her shift shifting to reveal blackness under her left breast. Pushing her neckline aside, he looked down in shock.

Black fingerprints and a black palm mark wrapped around the top of her chest, as if a dark, sooty, hand had burned a brand into her solar plexus.

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