This Meme Probably Only Applies To Me…

But I’m making it because I’m frustrated and it’s so true…

Hi, so I was curious about the basis of lettuce jokes? Is it a history thing?

OH BOY I’m so glad you sent this message because I get to do a DRAMATIC retelling of the second-greatest Egyptian Myth*Strap in for… THE CONTENDINGS OF HORUS AND SETH, AS TOLD BY ME. Strap in because this one is reasonably long but I promise it is high-LARIOUS you’re gonna love it.Ok so backstory is the whole ‘Seth killed Osiris, cut him up, Isis stitched him back together, got pregnant from his dead body, had Horus and raised him in secret bit’. Y’all know that bit. Pretty famous story. This is what happens when Horus grows up and there’s a FIGHT about who gets to be KING except the fight is actually a series of competitions which are… increasingly weird. You ready? Let’s go.[Part 1]The Great Ennead (group of Gods) hold a meeting to decide whether Horus or Seth should hold the office of Osiris. Horus points out that Seth straight up murdered his dad and shouldn’t rule anything are you fucking kidding me. The gods all agree that this seems right, actually. Horus should definitely be King.Seth gets pissy about this and points out that every day he slays the enemies of the sun god, Ra, and since he’s been doing the job for some time he should keep doing it. The gods note that this, too is a fine point.Everything descends into chaos with everyone shouting at each other, especially Isis who is super pissed that anybody is even listening to Seth, until Ra gets mad enough to tell them to all shut the fuck up, we’re moving the court onto an island and Isis is not invited.Isis disguises herself as an old woman and gets into the new proceedings, whereby the dons a new disguise of a young pretty thing and pleads to Seth “oh Seth you’re so big and strong and mighty will you be my champion. My husband died, my son has been tending the cattle but a stranger appeared and has cast us out”Seth, wanting to be the Big Hero, repsonds “of course! How can a stranger take a man’s property when his son is alive! That’s wrong of COURSE I’ll defend you!”At which point Isis reveals her true form and yells “HA! YOU PLAYED YOURSELF! HOW CAN SOMEONE TAKE A MAN’S PROPERTY WHEN THE SON LIVES INDEED”The other gods murmer in agreement that Seth had, indeed, played himself and plans were made for the coronation of Horus. Seth was having none of it.[Part 2]Not about to let Horus be crowned, Seth sets forth a challenge. “Let’s turn ourselves into hippos and duke it out in the river!” he says. “Best god gets the lot, eh?”. Horus takes this on gladly, but Isis is afraid that Seth will kill him. The battle went on for many days, with the advantage going between the two until Isis could no longer bear to watch and made a harpoon. She threw it into the water… and hit Horus.“Mother! You fucking stabbed ME! Let go”Isis pulled out the harpoon and thew it again, actually stabbing Seth this time. Good job, Isis. Best mum award. It pierced Seth so hard that he emerged from the water, this losing the battle, and he pleaded with her to let him go. How could she do this to him? She is his sister? Why must she always fight him like this? Isis feels a bit bad about stabbing her own brother, and pulls out the harpoon.Horus is so mad about this, and also being stabbed, that he leapt out of the river and cut her head off in one stroke, before walking off in a sulk (she’s fine, don’t worry, they put it back on. Gods, y’know?)[Part 3]Seth found Horus sulking, and, catching him by surprise, plucked out both of his eyes. When Seth returned to the rest of the gods, he told them he couldn’t find Horus anywhere, and so the rest of them kept looking. Eventually Hathor found Horus, blinded, and performed healing magic to return his sight.

She went back to the encampment and grassed Seth up. “He’s been lying to you! He found Horus, all right, and took out his eyes! I just had to heal him myself!

Ra called both Seth and Horus to him and demanded that they stop fucking fighting, right now, I swear I will destroy both of you. Seth appears to agree that they should stop, and invites Horus to his house for a party. Bygones be bygones and all that, eh?[Part 4]As Horus and Seth lay resting, Seth climbed atop Horus and put his penis between his thighs. Apparently content that he had sufficiently asserted his dominance, he left, but unbeknownst to him Horus had collected the semen in his hands.The next day Horus went to Isis, holding the semen and said “Mum! Look what he did to me last night!”. Isis is so horrified that she shrieks and cuts off Horus’ hands (he’s fine, don’t worry. Gods, you know?-. She herself collects the semen and forms a plot.She goes to the gardener of Seth, and asks which of the plants he likes to eat. The gardener tells her he is especially fond of lettuce, and so she puts the semen on the lettuce that Seth was to eat later. He does so, apparently without noticing his own semen is being used as a salad dressing. Tasty.[Part 5]Seth and Horus return to the court of the gods, and Seth proclaims that he should hold the office of King for he has “done a man’s deed” to Horus and dominated him. Horus is obviously not fit to be King.Horus fuckin loses it laughing and says “oh yeah? wait til you see where THAT semen ended up, buddy” and asks Thoth to call forth Seth’s semen, to see where it comes from.Thoth does so, and the semen emerges from the top of Seth’s head to form a golden disk. Seth gets really really made about that, and hurriedly seizes the disk.“Okay look” he says, getting pretty desperate at this point. “Tell you what. We’ll have a race down the Nile in ships made of stone and whoever wins gets to be King, okay? Fair deal?”Horus laughs and agrees.[Part 6]Seth strikes down the top of a mountain and uses it to create his boat. He drags it down to the Nile and finds Horus there with his ship of stone. Except it isn’t. Horus had made a boat of pine trees and covered it in plaster to look like solid stone because Horus isn’t a fucking idiot.Seth’s boat obviously sinks at once, and in his rage he turns into a hippo once more and tries to attack Horus, but the court of gods do their damn job for once and hold him back.“Guys” says Horus “It’s been eighty four years [actually only 80 but I can’t resist sue me] I’ve been having these dumbass contests with my uncle and I’ve won every single time. At what point are you going to just make a ruling this is getting stupid also I’m tired”Anyway you’d think the court would just give the whole country to Horus at this point, but they do not. They give Southern (Upper) Egypt to Seth, and Northern (Lower) Egypt to Horus. Egypt is split in two.[Part 7]Word of all this has reached Osiris in the Underworld (they don’t have wifi, it takes a while) and he is real mad. He demands to know why Horus was stripped of any part of the crown. Osiris is god of the Underworld at this point, and reminds the rest of the gods that at some point even they will die and when they do they have to deal with him and are you REALLY going to make me mad.The other gods are afraid of what Osiris might do, and so Horus was granted rule over all Egypt, and the country was re-united.

-Fin-Anyway that’s where all the lettuce jokes and ‘angry Seth reacts’ comes from. Egyptian mythology is a fuckin’ RIOT my dudes.*Destruction of Mankind is the greatest don’t @ me

[Buy me a coffee if you liked this story I’m poor]

Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #55

Merry Christmas! For some reason I thought I already did list 55, but when I looked back at my tags I hadn’t yet. So yeah, this one is extra long, but that’s all to the good, hopefully.

Rules: You can find past weekly rec lists here, and non-list recs in my general fic rec tag. Also follow @maychorianrecs for individually tagged posts, the easier to search and reblog. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!

Paper Patience by isabeau25 Words: 1,483 Author’s Summary: Someone is making paper flowers for Pidge, and it takes her a while to figure out why. *Takes place during the beginning of season 3, while Shiro is still missing.* My Comments: Sweet and lovely. Pidge’s frustration and fear is understandable, and it’s very kind of her teammate to make this effort to soothe her.

Space Jellybeans by YukiSetsu Words: 2,274 Author’s Summary: Lance has trouble sleeping and seeks out help from Coran. He gets something to help him sleep, but his body reacts negatively, leaving Lance with little time to get help before it got worse. My Comments: Another great whumpfic. I’m getting so spoiled this Christmas season.

No Place Like Home For the Holidays (But Sometimes Home Isn’t a Place)by WildWolf25 Words: 7,329 Author’s Summary: After a rough battle, Team Voltron decides to set down on a safe, deserted planet to rest and let the castle’s defenses recover. And if that planet happens to be covered in snow, well, there’s no harm in having a little winter fun while they’re at it. (Written for Lórien for the Voltron Secret Santa event on tumblr. Happy holidays!) My Comments: Cute, cuddly winter vacation with Team Voltron, including snow fights, ugly sweaters, and a cuddle pile under the stars. Implied Polydins but reads as gen.

for lack of advice columnists by againstmygreeleaf Words: 5,798 Author’s Summary: Hunk isn’t sure when he noticed the rock, doesn’t recall noticing it at all. The rock is within reach and his bayard isn’t. My Comments: Fantastic Hunk whump, and fantastic exploration of the consequences of war and how that affects Hunk in particular. I loved the team taking care of Hunk, all in their own ways.

Keith’s ‘Physical Contact’ Initiation Program by alisayamin (sh_04e) Words: 26,522 Author’s Summary: Keith didn’t move and neither did Pidge. It was a little awkward until Keith finally said, “Maybe we could officially officiate this..?” “What do you mean?” “Fist me.” Pidge recoiled and sputtered, “Keith, what the f-” She was cut off by Shiro’s bellowing laughter from the observatory deck.With his straight face unchanged, Keith lowered his left hand with the stopwatch and lifted his right hand, fisted. Pidge actually sighed with so much relief, “OH. You mean fistbump! Right.” She slapped her forehead to remove the very very wrong image her imagination drew for her, “Holy shit, Keith, we need to work on that but yeah sure, I’d be honoured to officiate your physical contact program whatever.” Or That one time Coran realized Keith was too distant and decided to make him undergo the 'Physical Contact’ Initiation Program which then led to –> 5 times the paladins realized Keith was an actual cat. My Comments: A little over the top and a touch OOC, but if you’re in the mood for paladin cuddle puddles and platonic cuddling and hugs and affectionate touches and all that good stuff, this is very much the fic for you. It’s incredibly indulgent and cuddly and really scratches that itch. Mentions of past child abuse.

Flu Season by YukiSetsu Words: 2,099 Author’s Summary: Lance comes down with the flu before a mission. And although he tries to ignore it to do his job, it turns out to be a bad idea once things take a turn for the worst. My Comments: Delightful sickfic plus whump. Poor Lance, lucky us.

Hippo You’d Better Come Home by pinstripedJackalope Words: 3,847 Author’s Summary: What if Keith had a little stuffed hippo hidden in one of the pouches on his belt, you ask? This is your answer. My Comments: This is absolutely adorable. Keith’s generosity bites him, a little bit, but it was so cute to see the whole team appreciating his precious hippo, and the ending was lovely.

Little Princess by Eastofthemoon Words: 7,488 Author’s Summary: “It was that weird bracelet,” Lance snapped as he struggled to keep his voice down. “I found it on the shelf, handed it to Allura because it was sparkly and I know she likes that stuff, she puts it on,” he pointed to her with his thumb, “and wham! Next thing we knew she was a kid!” “I still find it weird the clothes shrunk with her,” Pidge whispered. “Pidge, that’s the least of our concerns right now,” Hunk stammered as he cupped a hand over his mouth. My Comments: Wonderful deaged Allura with tea parties, makeovers, and various messes. I loved how much Lance and Hunk got into it, with the other paladins dragged into things with varying degrees of acceptance, and poor Coran’s heart got a bit of a workout. So good.

Varadero by 5557 Words: 2,109 Author’s Summary: While on Vacation at Varadero beach, a restless Lance cannot sit still and sleep when all the adults are away and having fun. Something is out there, calling to him. And it might just be worth the trouble. My Comments: Beautiful, vivid and lush, this story transported me back to the joy and curiosity of childhood. Lance is a cutie pie, as always.

Stranger Danger by YukiSetsu Words: 2,768 Author’s Summary: Lance makes a new friend at the school pool, and the others feel something is… off. And although Lance initially brushes off the warnings, even he starts to notice that his friend might be a bit more dangerous than he expected. But by then, it’s a bit too late. My Comments: Dramatic without being cheesy and whumpy without being unbelievable, just the right mix for me. Naive Lance and protective-everyone-else is my jam.

Coming Home by Vialana Words: 4,211 Author’s Summary: After the battle, Keith needs to decompress. So do the other paladins. My Comments: Absolutely beautiful. I loved the way every teammate checked on Keith, all of the hugs and cuddling and touches were just lovely and wonderful. And the tears, too. Very warm and soft and healing. I love this a lot.

Slippery Steps And Broken Cups by YukiSetsu Words: 2,062 Author’s Summary: Modern College AU. Lance had been busy planning a big Christmas party with Hunk, Shiro, Pidge, and Keith, only to go missing on the special day. Keith goes to check in on him, and ends up having to deal with way more than he expected. My Comments: Dizzy Lance with a high fever and somewhat grumpy but concerned Keith. Absolutely delightful.

déjà vu by mangotangerine Words: 3,501 Author’s Summary: Team Voltron finds themselves trying to convince a previously unknown planet to join the Coalition but they’re having trouble - these new aliens won’t do anything unless their God ordains it. Enter Lance, who knows a bit more than he’s supposed to and doesn’t know why. My Comments: Interesting little Star Trek fusion (no knowledge of Star Trek is necessary). I really enjoyed the mystery, and I would love to read something much longer with this concept.

Ghosts of Christmas Past by Swump (Zelan) Words: 1,841 Author’s Summary: Pidge crash-lands in the middle of a blizzard, where the others can’t get to her, and must fend for herself until help arrives. My Comments: Great whump, great Hunk and Pidge at the end.

Below Freezing by YukiSetsu Words: 2,495 Author’s Summary: The Blue Lion crash lands on a planet with extremely cold temperatures, leaving the team in a race against time to get Lance out alive. Shiro risks going down before the snowstorm subsides to get to Lance faster, but even he can only hold out for so long. My Comments: This fic REALLY hit the sweet spot for me. Lance with hypothermia, Shiro huddling for warmth with him, and just a touch of angst. Perfection.

Taste of Home by umbraja Words: 2,402 Author’s Summary: “I don’t know, Lance. I think Pidge is right. Waffles are superior to pancakes,” Hunk’s gentle voice drifted through the door. “Traitor! How could you say that? And after having my abuela’s pancakes,” Lance gasped dramatically. Hunk started to reply but Pidge cut him off, “Because pancakes are just flat disks of cooked batter no matter who does the cooking while Waffles are a masterpiece of culinary engineering with built in pockets for holding syrup and a crisp shell for the perfect crunch. It’s just a superior design, Lance.” The Paladins are all homesick and banter about missed food puts Keith in a talking mood, even if it’s just to Shiro. Somewhat of a character study. Or - I might have grown up on a farm in the Panhandle (that’s north Texas, btw) and every now ‘n’ then I get a mite nostalgic. My Comments: Warm, soft, and melancholy. I love how Shiro draws Keith out to reminisce about things long gone, and Allura was a sweetheart, too, surrounded by homesick paladins and trying her best to understand.

a grass in the beginning by coyotesuspect Words: 5,308 Author’s Summary: Pidge starts a garden on the Castle of Lions. Or: seven conversations Pidge has while standing next to a tree. My Comments: Lovely, rich, and touching fic. All of Pidge’s conversations with the others are just right, and the descriptions are vivid and entrancing. This was relaxing and warming to read.

Eat In Moderation, Kids by YukiSetsu Words: 2,013 Author’s Summary: Lance loves Hunk’s food, and for good reason. But when one Christmas cookie baking session gets out of hand, Lance bites off more than he can chew and his stomach suffers the consequences. Luckily, he doesn’t have to deal with it alone. My Comments: Sometimes it nice to have a problem that’s not that big of a deal, but everyone pitches in to help, anyway.

Rational Paranoia by TheQueen Words: 1,886 Author’s Summary: A story of Lance and Pidge, crashed on a hostile planet, waiting. My Starboy: A Lance Zine piece My Comments: Painful, but very well-written. I hope they get rescued soon. Tagged as possible romance but reads platonic to me.

Even Space Can Be Warmed Up By Christmas by YukiSetsu Words: 2,391 Author’s Summary: Lance leads preparations for a Christmas celebration on the Castle, only to be sidetracked by a bad fever on the big day. Nevertheless, he wants to continue with the party. My Comments: This has just about everything I love, fluff and team bonding and Lance getting sick and being cared for and loved. So very heartwarming. It was like drinking hot chocolate.

Learning Curve by psyraah Words: 2,498 Author’s Summary: The Galaxy Garrison has a name for training some of the best and the brightest. It’s rough, tough, and many would agree not an all together pleasant experience. Lance, Katie, and Hunk can all attest to that. The Paladins of Voltron are legendary, unmatched in their intellect and fighting prowess, and the only hope against the Galra Empire. Everything the Garrison should have trained them for. But Lance, Pidge, and Hunk know that there’s something that the Garrison didn’t teach them, something that took being light years from home for the three of them to understand: Heart. My Comments: Wonderful character study of Hunk, Pidge, and Lance and how they handle failure both at the Garrison in the past and now as part of the Voltron team. It’s great to see how much they’ve grown. And how much they trust each other.

What Keeps Him Whole by LightPinkTheColorOfMyAura Words: 6,398 Author’s Summary: Lance struggles in space. He knows that he is doing good by being part of the Voltron team, but everything is just constantly moving, difficult, and unrelenting. He’s tired. He doesn’t know what’s keeping him going anymore. My Comments: A little over the top and the writing’s a little rough, but this is a great scenario for Lance angst with lovely team comfort. Klance.

Five Stages of Grief by Sandyclaws68 Words: 5,058 Author’s Summary: There are five stages to the grieving process, but when you’re consistently lied to about your brothers’ “deaths” you might just get stuck in anger. My Comments: Great characterization and plot, and I loved the relationship between Pidge and Keith and Pidge and her mom.

Detonate by IcyPanther for heyheroics Words: 9,824 Author’s Summary: “Keith, please,” Lance pleaded, voice breaking. “They can’t lose you too.” / A routine mission takes a deadly turn. There are but literal ticks counting down until the end and Keith has a decision to make: leave Lance behind so he can escape or go down with him? It’s a good thing Keith is so stubborn. / Gen fic, Langst, whump My Comments: Excellent scenario, excellent whump, excellent protective Keith, excellent platonic Keith and Lance, it’s just all good. This one really kept me on the edge of my seat.

The Sound of Family by Anonymous Words: 8,623 Author’s Summary: As Keith swung the weapon in his hand, which he quickly realised was a bayard, it transformed. But instead of the usual comfortable weight of a blade, he felt the weapon tip forward, completely unbalanced. He made a noise of surprise, only to notice this voice was too high-pitched, too smooth to be his own. He looked down and saw blue armour instead of his black suit and in his right hand was a red rifle. “Keith?” he heard his own voice say. The figure tried to crouch but fell down with a grunt. “Keith, buddy, is that you?” His vision refocused and when he was able to see clearly again, he found himself gazing into his own… eyes? “Who are you?” he demanded. [When Keith and Lance accidentally swap bodies, hidden scars and wounds, both literal and metaphorical, are revealed and the two boys realise that there are some things that really shouldn’t be avoided any longer.] My Comments: I’d never thought about the fact that if a body swap happened, the brain chemistry would stay with the brain, not the mind. So what if there was a body swap and one of the bodies had depression? Great concept, explored very well. I love Keith and Lance’s mutual comfort and protectiveness. It was a fun scenario and a sweet fic. Ambiguous Klance, can be read as gen. Mentions of past child abuse.

each a perfect porcelain doll by panaili Words: 42,634 Author’s Summary: A new mission presents Team Voltron with the opportunity to get important information about Galra movements. Unfortunately, in order to successfully pull it off, Allura needs to be in two places at once: both shape-shifting to sneak into an alien server room and acting diplomatically as the Princess of Altea. Luckily, even though she is only one able to pull off the shape-shifting infiltration, disguising one of the paladins as the Altean princess should be much easier. [Set Season 2 at some point maybe] My Comments: This is everything I could have wanted from the premise of Pidge dressing up like Allura to fool an alien race. There’s bonding, fluff, whump, hurt/comfort, great action scenes and thrilling rescues, and, of course, Disney movies. This one grabbed me from the beginning and pulled me right along, and I loved it.

Earth, Meet Voltron by Gods_Writing_Fan Words: 2,181 Author’s Summary: What happens when the paladins try to warn Earth of an incoming attack? They freak out the entire population! Also, Lance gets to see his family again. My Comments: Packed full of emotion in not many words. I hope Lance gets to see his mom like this someday and give her a big hug and explain what he’s been up to.

What Not to Do in Chemistry Lab by Engineer104 Words: 2,458 Author’s Summary: Hunk’s to-do list for this semester consists of only one thing: making sure Lance doesn’t kill himself - and Hunk - in lab…and passes organic chemistry My Comments: Fluffy little modern AU in which Hunk is both amused and horrified by Lance’s shenanigans and Pidge mostly snarks from the side. Some hints of background romance of the college hookup variety, but the relationships on page are gen.

Interlude by LittleWhiteTie Words: 4,123 Author’s Summary: “Where are you going?” Keith asks, just barely catching Shiro before he collapses. “My room, or just… not here. Please.” Shiro should probably stay here in the infirmary where he can be monitored, but his eyes are pleading. “Alright,” Keith concedes. “But I’m not leaving you alone.” – In which Keith takes care of Shiro after The Journey. My Comments: So soft and indulgent and comforting to read, ahh, I love it, and something like this DEFINITELY happened in the gap between those episodes. Tagged as either romantic or platonic, but it did not ping me as romantic at all, just very intimate and brotherly.

Blood Brother, Space Brother by wingedflower Words: 4,826 Author’s Summary: (taking place around mid-season 4) Pidge has finally found her brother and Lance was happy for her, he truly was. But after filling the role of her big brother for so long, he couldn’t help but feel like he was… left out. My Comments: This fic literally made me cry, which is exceedingly rare. Lance’s feelings of loneliness and loss were so vivid that I felt them in my stomach as well as my chest. It’s all resolved beautifully, but yeah. Wow. This hit my buttons super hard. Going into my personal favorites.

Daily Interlude by Vialana Words: 1,540 Author’s Summary: “I need a hug.” Keith paused, spoonful of goo halfway to his mouth, and stared at Pidge. My Comments: Very cute and funny, with a touch of sweetness. Tagged Klance, but can be read as gen.

Previously Recced Fics That Updated:

Little Crystals (13555 words) As Color Fades Away (237268 words) The Purity of Sin (41134 words) Back from the Edge (5074 words) Taking One For The Team (38446 words)

The moment in an episode where this

:

happens.

When Opportunity Strikes…

But Chris Shoves Cookies In The Way…

Ways of defeating Zach that the Wild Kratts team can add to the list: Cookies.

Okay Soooo…

Zach’s pants are visibly torn/ripped in this scene, we see his little heart printed undies…🤭 no I don’t absolutely adore them

Yet…. somehow, not even two seconds later, when he’s ranting about the “hippo-platter-mouth” his pants are perfectly fine 🤔.

So, HOW IN THE WORLD were they fixed?!?!

Did some tiny spybots sew them back together (not likely as they were not introduced until the next episode, Creature Power Challenge, in season 2), or did he shove the tattered raiments up under his sweater (which is also unlikely because you’d still see the jaggedness from the rip), or did a Zachbot borrow his invisibility cloak and sew them back together (again not likely as he had not yet invented the cloak until season 3 and this episode was in season 2).

Anyway, feel free to reply/reblog with your thoughts and opinions because I’ve got no other explanation except that this must be another Wild Kratts animation goof, lol!

Just An Observation…But Zach Really Likes Balloons…

He admits that black balloons make him feel better when he is sick:

And he also has used balloons within the series to commit his “evil deeds.”

In the Koala Ballon episode, he has the Zachbots attach balloons to Koala Ballon to “send him sailing” out of his jet:

In Quillber’s Birthday Present, Zach uses the helium filled balloons to transport the animals to his jet for his “animal collection party:”

And in Race for the Hippo Disk, Zach is cruising along in a boat looking for new varmints for his inventions. And, you guessed it, the boat is made out of balloons:

So yeah, the man really likes balloons….

Zach Tracks

Zach’s shoes literally have his V initial on the sole….

The man’s life is literally one monogramed or personalized item after another…

What’s next? Maybe Zach’s got V sunglasses, underwear, and paper, like legit V shaped pieces of paper he writes on, which, honestly would not be too surprising. And the man probably has a special V tag sewn into all his clothing. The possibilities are endless, lol.

P.S. This is how Violet finds Zach when he’s lost on a nature excursion.

The Theme Song for Zach in Race for the Hippo Disk Should be One of the Following:

Maybe the first one for those who don’t view Zach romantically, and the second one is for those who do view Zach romantically.

He’s literally falling the whole episode, so they fit, lol…

Also, Zach’s first scream/fall session results in a look of pure terror on his face.

The second scream/fall session is more muted, like he’s still scared, but he’s disgusted that this is his second time falling in one day. Like he’s thinking “why me, why is this happening again…”

I Lowkey Love Zach In His Work Gear…

Or invention making gear? I don’t know what it’s called, but here’s some screenshots to prove my point 😊:

Hmmm, thought I had more…. “Mom we need to go to the screenshot McDonald’s for more Zach pics!”

The Man Looks Like He’s Seen Unspeakable Horrors…

Guess that’s what happens when you smack yourself face first into a hippopotamus and get covered in, hmmm, I guess Zach calls it hippo goo.

What’s Black, White, and Read All Over…

Zach: “A Zebra Newspaper!”

I just realized this joke was Zach’s thinking here….how he’d make a Zebra newspaper, well, I don’t wanna know.

And judging by the looks on Zach and the Zebra’s faces, I don’t think they wanna know either, lol. (It’s like they both know it’s going to be bad).