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delilah-briarwood · 4 years

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The Hobbit Enjoltaire AU

Like always I’m back on my bs and coming up with an AU instead of being productive.

So Grantaire is the Bilbo of this AU

He’s a Hobbit that is very much content in his life of indulgence, being critical, and just general hobbitness. He has absolutely no need nor wish to go on any adventures whatsoever

But then enter Gandalf Valjean who sees this perfectly content and complacent Hobbit and is like ‘ah yes, the perfect companion for an adventure’.

Grantaire refuses to go but Valjean still leaves a mark on his door.

That night, a group of dwarves arrive at his Hobbit hole in small groups, eager to introduce themselves

The looming Bahorel is the first to arrive, followed quickly by his brother, Feuilly

Then comes husbands Bossuet and Joly who, despite joining the quest, have left their wife behind in the Blue Mountains

Brothers Courfeyrac and Combeferre; the company’s banker and healer.

Twins Jehan and Marius; the youngest and more gentle members of the Company with Jehan following the career path of a scholar and Marius being...Marius.

Marius’s attempted courting of Valjean’s adopted daughter is what drew the wizard in to joining the company.

Cue Grantaire being very annoyed at the dwarves raiding his pantry and drinking all his wine.

Then comes the leader of their company; Enjolras, heir of Durin and rightful King Under The Mountain.

He’s also the brother of Courfeyrac and Combeferre (I wasn’t sure who would fit Kili and Fili so I guess Oin and Gloin are being combined with Frerin and Dis instead. )

Grantaire’s initial thoughts are that he’s underwhelming by dwarf standards and far too pretty and R’s far too gay

He finds out the purpose of their quest is to retake their home from the grips of a cruel dragon that has long since made it his home. He also finds out they want him to be their burgular and help to infiltrate Erebor.

It’s a noble cause but one Grantaire has no interest in. After all, what reason does he have to care about their quest?

Still, he somehow finds himself joining the company anyways.

The quest is an interesting one to say the least and absolutely bonkers with trolls, wargs, and eagles (oh my!)

The company is forced to stop in Rivendell much to the chargrin of the dwarves company. Valjean swears he has an old friend there who can help them read a map to the Lonely Mountain.

Thus we meet the elven lord Myriel and his daughter, Simplice.

Of course, they translate the ruins on the map and the Amis are given the deadline of ‘Durin’s Day’ (essentially dwarvish new year).

So they get a move on.

Along the way, they find themselves hunted by the orc Javert (I know it’s a loose fit but I didn’t know who to make him other than Azog ) who has a tense history with Valjean and a somewhat warrior past with Enjolras.

Finally, the Amis find themselves in Laketown and Erebor is within their grasp.

Unfortunately the lord and lady of Laketown are none other than Monsieur Thenardier and his wife. Both are greedy and are quick to agree to help in exchange for some of the Mountain’s treasure.

Disgusted by their greed but desperate for their help, Enjolras agrees.

However, before heading to the Mountain, the Amis insist Jehan and Marius stay behind in Laketown until the dragon is dealt with. They are seen as being ‘too young’ to take on the fire drake. Very reluctantly, they are left behind.

Of course things go mental once the remaining Amis make their way inside the mountain.

By this point, Valjean has briefly left them to deal with ‘personal business’ (aka a meeting of the White Council to set up the events of LOTR)

With great reluctance as the group have now grown close, Grantaire is sent in to make a first impression on the great dragon Louis Phillipe.

Before he goes in, Enjolras grabs his arm and they have this really intense stare between each other before he reluctantly lets R go.

Things go wrong. Grantaire is Grantaire and manages to anger the dragon thus leading him to an attack on Laketown.

Meanwhile, Marius has found himself developing a friendship with the Thenardiers’ daughter; Éponine - even if she sees their friendship as being far more than friendly.

However, when Louis attacks Laketown, she knows of her parents keeping an old artefact; a black arrow - also known as one of the only weapons that can kill a dragon.

So she manages to acquire it and uses it to attempt to kill the dragon, even if it is only in an attempt to impress Marius by ‘saving him’.

She succeeeds. However, she gets fatally wounded amongst the carnage caused by Louis before his demise.

Being praised by him as a hero, Éponine dies content in Marius’s arms. He presses a kiss to his forehead.

Meanwhile, Javert’s orc army has grown closer and began to infiltrate Laketown. In the process, Jehan Prouvaire is captured and held hostage.

Back in the Mountain, Enjolras has become infected by dragon sickness, slowly being driven mad by a lust for gold that has plagued his family for centuries. Thankfully, both Courfeyrac and Combeferre are effected to a far lesser extent.

Still, that doesn’t stop him offering a chainmail coat of mythril - an impenetrable metal - to Grantaire in what is absolutely a straight way. Nothing gay about giving your close campaign chainamil with an insane value - even after you’ve become afflicted by an obsession with wealth. It’s really gay.

Marius returns to the Mountain with a warning about Javert and need of Jehan’s capture.

Because all dwarves are stubborn, Enjolras refuses to go to the men or the elves for help. In his madness, he seems then as greedy and cruel; more enemies to be defeated than friends to be made.

Grantaire isn’t overwhelmed with the same madness. Not even slightly.

Stealing some of the gold, he slips out of Erebor in the dead of night to make deals where he can. It goes surprisingly well.

At least, it does until Enjolras finds out.

He sees Grantaire as a traitor who has stolen from him; another outsider there to rob him.

‘You are banished from here! Never to return! I thought you a friend! But it is clear you believe in nothing.’ ‘...I believed in you.’

In a fit of frustration and rage, Grantaire leaves the mithril shirt behind in Erebor as he leaves - much to the chagrin of his friends who are all appalled with Enjolras’s decision. They have lost one friend due to Jehan’s capture. They were not keen to lose another.

Finally Javert and his army of the national guard (national orcs??) show up.

In a word of warning and attempt at intimidation, Jehan is shown to be their prisoner before being executed. With one final cry of ‘Long live the future!’ that holds all the hopes and dreams they had at the quest’s beginning, Jehan Prouvaire is no more.

Seeing his friend die so brutally is more than enough to snap Enjolras out of his madness and essentially the Battle of the Five Armies happen.

However, Grantaire and Enjolras end up being the last two alive. In a final battle with Javert, both are mortally wounded. It is only upon Valjean’s return that Javert is truly defeated.

Injured and instead, Grantaire finds Enjolras resting on the ground besides a rock. He utters one single phrase before sitting besides the dwarven king; ‘Do you permit it?’

A sharp nod from him is all R needs. Both are content to die at each other’s side.

Using the little strength he has left, Enjolras presses a brief kiss to Grantaire’s lips before uttering his final words; ‘If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world’.

The two die holding hands.

After their deaths, Marius is left as the only surviving member of their company. As such, he is crowned King Under The Mountain with Cosette as his queen.

The Amis are buried with the highest honours in the mountain’s tombs.

Grantaire and Enjolras are laid to rest side by side; the hobbit and his dwarven king laid together always.

#i was rereading ASITD for like the fiftieth time and got inspired #les mis #les miserables #les mis au #les miserables au #enjoltaire #the hobbit #the hobbit au #thilbo #bagginshield #tolkien #the story is very much condensed because both Les Mis and the Hobbit have fairly long and complicated storylines #also can’t believe i wrote the phrase ‘Javert’s orc army’#this is such a bad au tbh

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