if you’ve ever flirted with me i did NOT pick up on it i am too busy with being a good little chimera pup who is sooooo breedable and pretty and cute and such a good girl and a good bottom and a great submissive

Alright, time to actually make one of these for real, since this is looooong overdue. Hi! I'm Cynthia! I'm...a lot of things, and I struggle to describe them without it feeling inadequate! I play games, I write software for a living, I write non-software things for fun occasionally, I'm wildly horny, neurodivergent, a massive nerd who constantly wishes she knew more about everything.

Property of: @synthbang and @stalesweetrolls

Let's start with some ID stuff, I'm a pre-HRT(for now!!!) transfem, I go by she/they/it pronouns. My friends call me any fun variation of my name they can come up with, like Cyn, Cyndy, Cyndicate, etc. If we're mutuals, we're friends :3. I'm white, American(New England), poly, t4t, atheist, wildly sapphic, and physically, but not visibly, disabled.

As for interests, I've got literal dozens. Gaming, anime, manga, movies, writing, reading, music, pole dancing, ttrgps, game design, hiking, conservation, activism, fashion, just to name a few, each of which splinters into dozens of little sub-interests. Ask me a dragonball question, I dare you.

Actually, ask me any kind of question. Asks are open all the time and so are anons. Go wild ya horny fools

FOLKS WHO ARE NOT WELCOME (DNIs)

Minors

Seriously, minors, this blog is very horny

Ageless blogs

Sissy kink blogs

Race and ageplayers

SIDEBLOGS

I have two sideblogs atm, although in actuality there's just one that's even remotely active.

@den-of-cyn is where I used to do my hornyposting. The big thing that's there now is the pinned post with a list of my kinks, for those of you interested in the horny side of the Cynner. The account got flagged as NSFT and I haven't been able to get that revoked yet, and moreover I decided to stop worrying about it and just started posting horny on main anyway. There's quite a few good ones on there that I haven't reblogged to here, and a few pics I haven't reposted, so if you somehow don't get enough horny nonsense on this page, you can always go there to see some vintage Cyn >:3

@thebookofcyn is my writing sideblog. It's where all my original stuff will one day live, when I get the spoons to put all my old stuff on it. It is SFT FOR NOW, IT WILL NOT BE IN THE FUTURE! Soon there will be a pinned post there explaining my tags and how to find stories. I'm hoping to post more there as time goes on and I actually embrace this hobby more.

TAGS

I layer my tags and usually don't do content tags, and I don't tag reblogs except to do responses. The tags that mean things on this blog are as follows:

#cynposting - Any post by me that has text outside of tags, including reblog replies. Searching this tag will get you everything I've written in text on this blog.

#cynful thoughts - Any post I think is horny. You can filter for this post if you want to see me being a degenerage, or filter it out if you'd rather not.

#pics of the cynner - Any picture of myself, pretty self explanatory. Most are accompanied by #cynful thoughts

#Cyn fits - pics of myself taken specifically to show off an outfit and explain why I chose it for that day.

#I asked - Reblog of an ask that I sent someone

#ask and ye shall receive - Tag for when I answer an ask

#get tagged idiot - Tag for when the only content of a post is me @ -ing someone in the reblog.

#pinned post - Last one, tag for the previous pinned posts I've made. This should be the last one. In theory.

And that's it!!!! For now. Probably. I'm a wordy bitch, so I expect this'll get longer and longer.

apologies for combing through your blog and liking all of your posts. i just really enjoy your viewpoints and your courage. you don't try to take some kind of high ground, and you don't tolerate threats to people even if they're against you. it's inspiring to me and i'd like to stand up for people who are minding their own business, and also those who are actually getting hurt by false claims of pedophilia being thrown around by others who think they're heroes. but i'm too scared currently. :( i hope it's okay for me to cheer you on from afar.

Thank you, Anon. That means a lot to me to hear you say that. 🥹❤️

Spam liking and reblogging actually validates my bpd's longing for attention in a healthy way; it makes me feel good about how I'm running my blog and that I'm doing something that is helping others, so never be sorry for doing so!!

And it's completely okay to not be ready to speak up yet. This isn't my main tumblr by any means; the one I've had since my teens ( been here since 2011 ) is still active elsewhere, it's just unmarked on shipping and has no dni. But I made this sideblog and the main blog it's attached to so that I had a place where I could start speaking out. A place where no one would recognize me, and I could start over fresh, learn new things and new perspectives, unlearn that old black and white thinking, and become a better person who one day will be ready to say fuck it and out my main as proship like it used to be back in 2011-2015-ish when I didn't have to say it, I just reblogged stuff freely.

At this point I just want to put some good back out there into the world. I've been watching that downward spiral of the internet since my own teens, and I can use that information to make other people of all ages feel safe to express themselves without feeling guilty for liking or identifying with things other people may not agree with. Because the internet was NOT always like this, and it doesn't need to be this way.

a look ahead

my loves, i've had some time away from this site and it's given me a bit more clarity as to what i want my blog to look like in the future. i don't know if this comes out of nowhere to any of you because i don't tend to announce my decisions to the internet, but since this is going to (directly or indirectly) impact y'all, i thought it was only courteous to tell you that there'll be some changes made around here in the next couple of weeks.

what is that going to look like?

come september, i am going to start blocking minors as well as ageless, blank and/or empty blogs.

apart from a writing challenge submission i'm set on finishing, i'm not going to be posting any fics for a little while.

sadly, that also means time after time is officially going on hiatus for now.

i've been thinking about these things for some weeks now and even though i feel like i'm letting people down in a way, i feel like this is the right move for me at this point.

there are several reasons for all this, if anyone cares <3

why block minors if you don't write explicit stuff?

excellent question. the truth is that i considered making my blog 18+ a year ago when i created it, but didn't. the main reason for that was that even if someone puts an age in their bio, i have no way of double checking that, so i thought, why bother. but the truth is that i've grown uncomfortable with the thought of literal children interacting with me, whether i post explicit stuff or not (and i have reblogged explicit fics more than once). i don't want to have to worry about these things when i'm just trying to enjoy my time on this corner of the internet. of course, i still have no way of checking this, but i still want to establish this boundary for my own mental wellbeing.

my main blog will remain all ages and i will continue posting on ao3, but i don't want any minors around on my writing tumblr anymore.

what about blank/empty blogs?

this is a trend i've only really noticed once i started posting my writing on here, and it seems to mostly pertain to the people who don't know how tumblr works and are unwilling to learn, or bots. just put something on your blog. if the only thing i can see on there is the list of people you're following and your likes – particularly if i can see that you're mostly liking fanfic but not reblogging anything – you're getting blocked. if you reblog fics with a sideblog, that's completely fine of course, but put something else on main then. support gif makers. support artists. support shitposters, i don't care. just reblog stuff. that's what this site is for.

what about your writing?

i told you only yesterday that i have a whole pile of wips right now, and i do, but the truth is that i'm exhausted. i put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to my writing, and the truth is that i feel like that's part of the reason i think it's good, but it's simply not sustainable. i started a new job back in june, and i'm about to start working on my thesis, and what should be a hobby is burning me out. the same thing happened to my reading habit, and it's just sad to witness.

i'm currently hoping that by taking out the constant urge to post something, anything, but make it amazing, i can actually enjoy writing a lot more again. (don't get me wrong, i still enjoy it, i really do, but i need to do it without the whole immediacy part of it for a while i think.)

what does this mean for time after time?

i mean, let's be real here, updates have been scarce at best anyway. i started this series with a lot of momentum and then slowly teetered to a standstill against my best intentions. again, i hope that by taking away the pressure to post as fast/good/much as possible, i will find myself doing it more again, and doing it more gladly.

this series truly is my everything and i will finish it, but i want to have a few chapters already pre-written the next time i post a part. that way, i hope there won't be as much time between updates, either. depending on how long it takes me to get to this point, i might do a weekly chapter reblog or something to remind y'all what was going on lmao

*

hope y'all understand and i'm sorry if this is disappointing but it's my blog and i'm asking you to respect my boundaries. kay thanks bye <3

A Written Let's Play? Plus: Creation!

Welcome, friends! I've decided to do something fun with my spare time, which is by writing a book report as I play through a videoed game. You know, like a normal person.

It's actually something I used to do here and there, just for fun. Some description of the scene, some screencaps, a nice interlude while I wax unpoetic about musical themes or narrative devices. It's something I miss doing, so I'm doing it. And, because I put it on a sideblog, you're only along for the ride if you choose to be. Which you have, so thank you.

So, before I start, a little bit of housekeeping under the cut - and, just for fun, I've started character creation a bit early. Those polls over on my main haven't quite finished yet, but they're wrapping up and there's a clear winner, so I've gone ahead and just done it.

Let's get a few things out of the way first, though.

What this will be:

A little bit of everything. I'm going to take the opportunity to just luxuriate in the space. Describe the story as I go? Absolutely. Take some opportunity to write from the perspective of my main character? Done and done. Play around with the Enhanced Edition's Photo Mode? Don't mind if I do.

Fun. I'm doing this for me, after all, so I'm going to make sure to amuse myself while doing it. Hopefully that also means I'll be amusing the rest of y'all in the process.

The chance for me to actually finish this game. I've started this several times and the farthest I've gotten is somewhere towards the end of Act 2? I think? It's a very big game, with lots of options, and I've been a bit spoiled for choice. Locking it down into a fun writing project will help me focus.

What this won't be:

An unspoiled run. As I mentioned above, I've played this before - albeit not completely. So I do know some of the story beats that are coming, and have seen further ahead in the game than I've actually played, so this won't be fresh reactions.

Spoiler-free. To that same point, since I'm writing about the game as I play it, I'm not going to hide things as they come up. I'm also not tagging for spoilers - this is a sideblog specifically for this, which means you have to actually follow and click through to see it, and at that point that's on you. I will put it behind a cut for reblogs, but that's about it.

Regularly-scheduled. Each post will be done when it's done, and I'm not setting a release schedule that I inevitably will fail to follow. Instead, to keep this fun, I'm just going to do it as and when I do it. We'll see how frequent that ends up being.

And now, with that out of the way: let's get to the real meat of the matter. Character creation.

Because I left the polls vague - choosing party roles, rather than classes - I left it open to choose something weird and fun for my playthrough. I also did not provide options for all the mythic paths, but rather the ones that I felt had some of the best story potential. Granted, they all have stories, but some of them are a bit wild and out there, and while fun to play, probably less fun trying to organize for a writing project - especially for a first playthrough. Aeon and Trickster are probably best for second or third times through the game, for example, since they both play with the actual medium of the storytelling as much as (if not moreso than) the base story of the game.

The choices being what they were, the poll resulted in a Ranged build, following the Legend path.

I have an archer on another save - going Slayer (Deliverer) full class route on an Angel path - so I didn't want to just copy that. I wanted to do something fun and new, so I looked up some other options - a lot of guides recommend a weird and fun ranged build for Wenduag, a potential party member, which focuses on throwing axes instead of a longbow, so I decided to cannibalize that. I also wanted to make it easier on myself and start with a pet - Wrath of the Righteous does some really great stuff with pets. Ranger gets a pet eventually, but there's one of the hybrid classes that starts with a pet at level 1, and that's Hunter.

Throwing axes, with an animal. Something weird and fun.

Maybe it was the fact that I've been looking through some second edition materials and had Extinction Curse on the brain, but that sounded like circus performer to me.

With a selection of a leopard companion (because circus), all that was left was to choose a name.

...fuck. I'm terrible at names. I usually ask my wife to give me good names for my character, she's very good at names. But I wanted to do this one for myself. Something that was true to the origins of the character, something that reflected the medium upon which this was posted.

What do you name a character who was built from a tumblr poll?

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

I'll post her stats elsewhere - I know y'all are horny for numbers - but for now I think that's where I'll leave this.

When The Sun Was Stolen prologue notes

An extensive notes detailing of WTSWS’s prologue by @aquarius-saint and me

First note - the origin of this fic

First long note is that WTSWS’ prologue is based on an old wip I found from somewhere in 2016-2018. That prologue involved original characters Tai and K who got kidnapped. Tai was the one who was stalked so Tai is the prototype to Seiya in WTSWS while K (a male upperclassman btw) got casted as badass Marin in WTSWS.

This old wip has a lot of the same stuff as the completed product but the writing is intensely better because by god, gaycalculator is such an amazing writer. They add so much details, the way they use words is so creative and they are actually the major writers of Marin’s section in this chapter. 

(Yes, this is the start of the notes where I can rant excitedly about my co-author, their writing is so good and I really like how it blends with mine because you can’t really tell where each of our writing sections end).

Second note - the school’s layout

gaycalculator actually found the layout of a school in Japan for us to do our layout of events. It’s somewhere in our messages while we reworked the prologue. somewhere. When we find it, we’ll put up somewhere.

But, originally, the layout was based on my high school since the old wip was made when I was in school. It went field > gym > classrooms because that’s how my school had it’s layout. When we got the layout of an actual school in Japan, we were able to go field > gym > gym canopy (since some gyms in Japan are a separate building rather than being in the same building like in the US) > classrooms. Really fun stuff to investigate!

Third note - text messages

A fun addition found in my og skeleton that gaycalculator liked since we could introduce the major pov characters of the rest of the fic. They are: Seika, Aiolos, Aiolia, Saori, Shun, and Hyoga. As for Gemini, well, that’s a secret for now, of course. And we will get the pov of Seiya’s mom and dad in the fic too. The major pov characters in the near future who is not present in any of the text messages are Shaina, June (our beloved) and Freya.

Fourth note - character relationships

To be established early on - Aiolos and Aiolia are Seiya’s half-brothers but they are Seika’s stepbrothers. Aiolos and Aiolia share the same mom and dad. Their dad (Sisyphus from Lost Canvas, sue us, he looks like their bio dad) married Seika’s mom (an original character, Seina Hoshino who’s art is available in gaycalculator’s sideblog I have tagged in this post) and they had Seiya. So there’s a blended family right there. This means that, in this fic, Seiya is half-Japanese, half-Greek.   

Seiya is dating Saori Kido because SaoSei has been a long time ship of ours. Seiya is best friends with Shun and June. June is dating Freya and Shun is dating Hyoga. 

Marin is Aiolia’s best friend and so she was helping out her best friend’s little brother. Her kindness got her tangled up in this mess. Marin is dating Shaina. She has a little brother too - Touma.

Fifth note - the stalker

God, what a creep but so fun to write to be so unhinged. From the get go - the stalker has already been chosen. We spent like 2-3 days deciding on who it was during our year long brainstorm so, trust us, if you get it right, we’re not going to change it our spite. 

I actually want to see how many people will figure out the stalker’s identity. 

There’s a reference to Meant to be Yours from the Heathers musical in some of the text messages the stalker gave. 

For writing inspiration with this stalker, we found a playlist and some unhinged characters from fiction all around. The stalker won’t be a major pov character.

Seiya’s had a rough time with this yandere. gaycalculator and I actually wrote the confrontation that kickstarts the events of this prologue as a good way to get into the headspace of Seiya and his stalker in the start of the main fic. It exists and we’re not revealing that whole scene until the reveal. Good luck, sleuths.

Us: we gave a hint on the identity. he’s a man/boy

Saint Seiya’s main cast being men: that doesn’t narrow it down

. . .

I sincerely hope you enjoy because I loved writing this! I may sound annoying but it’s been so fun to write with gaycalculator. We’ve both enjoyed this experience. We have at least 8-9 chapters completed. For now, expect chapter 1 to drop this Friday! See you around!

-whims

Hi perce! I have been following your account for a while, and I LOVE your blog. Its literally even given me inspiration to try and start my own, but I literally have no idea how to start! I already have my rules, masterlist, and abt me ready.. just no drafts. I want to have a couple before I post just to make sure I have content ready.. but I literally have no idea where to start, my brain just BLANKS.

I love your fics, so could you give me some tips?

hi!!! first of all, thank you! i'm glad you enjoy my posts and it means a lot to inspire you?? like that was how i started here, being inspired and encouraged by a writer i love, so it's like a little full circle moment to me :')

secondly, don't feel like you have to have content ready at all possible moments!! i struggle with it a lot, but it's important to remember that you are doing this for fun/as a hobby and having the mindset that you have to constantly churn out writing can make it so you start to dread it. there's no pressure to post consistently or even have a schedule. post when you want. write when you want.

i'm going to put the rest under the cut because i tend to ramble a lot whoops

in terms of ideas, a lot of times i just write whatever comes to me. most of my drabbles are written in the moment because i'm not necessarily trying to think of ideas. which can be nice because then i'm not forcing things, but it's bad because then i'm not working on the things i wanted to write.

BUT! tumblr is FULL of inspiration and ideas! sometimes i'll search for writing prompts (i usually go for dialogue ones as opposed to scenarios but that's just me), and see what jumps out at me. there's some blogs that are dedicated to prompts or aus and those can be helpful to look at! even if you don't use one of the prompts, you can get inspired by it and go your own route.

my first writing here was a continuation/exploration of an idea i sent as an anon, so i had an easy thing to focus on. some people don't like their ideas being expounded upon, so if you want to do that, always ask the person first. (i personally don't mind if people get inspiration from my posts or ideas, i love seeing different takes and styles !!)

sometimes i also surround myself with the content i want to write. like, i mostly write nsfw because that's what interests me and i feel like i can focus on actions rather than feelings. it fits my writing style a lot better in my opinion. so i follow blogs that post the same stuff. you can get inspired by it, just because your brain is in that space. i'll see a post and my brain will be like "what if it was this character but also we change the situation and actually the dynamics are different now too" and all the sudden, i have a completely separate idea.

i'm not sure how familiar you are with tumblr itself, so i'll give a few pointers that are helpful to know!

when you make a new blog (sideblog or main), your first posts will most likely not show up for a bit in tags. this is mostly to make sure you're not spamming and whatnot but sometimes it helps to reblog some posts first and wait a few days until tumblr actually registers you as a blog! so i highly recommend setting up your blog and reblogging some things before posting your writing.

aaaand reblogging is a GREAT way to make mutuals/friends! for me, i always notice the people who reblog/leave tags on my writing and i'm a lot more likely to look at their blog if i recognize their name. reblogging is what keeps the community alive, too. it's really weird (in my opinion) to see a blog that only posts their content and never reblog anyone else's work. writing is very much a community and that means supporting each other.

i hope this helped a bit at least!! if you have any more questions or want me to give any other tips, please don't hesitate to ask! and i'd love to see what you write if you want to share <3 (no pressure obviously!!)

I don't understand people who say the like button is completely useless or that they hate likes. I use queue for Everything. I never immediately reblog because I don't get onto tumblr every day, sometimes itll even be weeks or months before I get back on, so my queue keeps my blogs alive. In addition to that it rebrings attention to older posts that may be buried and no longer circulating by the time it pops out of my queue. I also have literally 18 blogs, not counting alt accounts where i have alternate people I follow (like one acc that shows nothing venty or triggering vs one that does, so when it would be upsetting i dont have to see it but when i Wanna see it i can). I also generally don't use my main blog to reblog things, I just don't like to.

So I use likes as a nod to the post. A little "hey i really like this!" Liking is my way of saying I put it in my queue. They wont know it but in a month or three 50 posts by them will start posting every day on several different blogs I own. It also means that they can see the random person who followed them actually looks at and appreciates their stuff, since I rarely reblog to my main. Since it doesnt show sideblog names when you like/follow, it looks like a random ass person reblogged from you 50 times over several days but didn't follow. If i like 50 posts then later some rando blog posts the same 50 posts, then they can make thst connection.

I also use my likes list to go back and find stuff I liked ages ago. Ill scroll randomly for a long time and then requeue things that I liked and forgot about, that are long buried in my blogs. So yeah I actually use my likes list so its not useless in that regard alone.

Im aware that I might be the odd one out. That other people dont do this. Im aware that there are blank blogs that spam like and dont seem to reblog anything. Im aware someone might not make the connection between my spam liking spree and a later spam post spree from my queue. But its not completely useless just because Some people don't reblog. Also they might be using queue all along and your aggression towards them might run them off your blog entirely just because you didnt make the connection between their main and their sideblog. Which is funny as hell since a lot of these posts will say stuff like "if it doesnt fit the aesthetic of your main blog just make a sideblog!!" Yeah they probably already have one they probably did reblog or queue it, but you just didnt notice so you got aggressive for no reason and lost a follower.

Help, it's again.

Time to rewrite this introduction post cause a few things have changed :V

Hey there fellow Critters! My name is Rose, and this is my Critical Role sideblog. (they/he pronouns)

About me: I'm a queer artist with a lot of free time, but not enough functioning braincells to use it properly.

I like to draw/paint, play videogames, worldbuild, tend to my OCs, daydream to music - all that good stuff.

My timezone is Central European Standard Time. Most of the time I'm somewhat nocturnal, especially in the days surrounding new CR episodes, but my sleep schedule also flips around a ton and might differ from day to day.

This is my sideblog, risingroleakira, mainly for Critical Role content and discussions of adjacent series. This includes Candela Obscura and MIDST. For my artwork, visit my art blog, risingroseart ...and maybe drop some reblogs while you're there! (This blog also includes my critical role art. I don't update it very often however, so alternatively visit my Artfol - also not perfectly up-to-date but definitely better) For my very messy main blog, where I mostly just reblog random stuff, visit risingroseakira.

Critical Role related info:

When did I start watching?

I caught the first half of C3E1 as it aired, then had to stop watching and take a break for a while due to external life stuff. A couple months later I binged the rest of that and all the other episodes that had aired since then.

What campaigns/series have I watched?

Finished or up-to-date: > Critical Role C3 as it airs > 4-Sided Dive as it airs > EXU:Calamity > EXU:Kymal > Candela Obscura Arc 1 - Circle of the Vassal and the Veil > MIDST Season 1 Work in Progress: > Watched Campaign 1's original version of the Briarwood Arc, as I cannot watch TLOVM due to the visual violence that I can't stomach. > After several attempts over the past few years, I finally have a successful attempt at C2. I haven't finished yet, and I've very much slowed down (or rather, stopped for a bit and am now slowly progressing again), but as of writing, I'm all the way up to C2E128.

Will be watching as it airs: > Candela Obscura Arc 2 - Circle of the Needle and the Thread > MIDST Season 2

Current favorite player characters? (spoilers ahead for the stuff I've watched)

> Ashton and Orym. I love all of the hells, so they're all included in this list, but out of all of them these two are easily at the top. There is strength, but there is pain; there is pain, but there is strength. Like vines, we grow together.

> Caleb. I don't think there's too much to say here, we all love him. Easily my favorite of the Nein, no question.

> Fjord and Caduceus The former the only bitch (/aff) I actually have merch for, the latter an aroace icon hehe. I love them both

> Dorian. It's 🎶been a while🎶since we've seen him, but as most of us do I miss the blue boy. At the start of C3 he was my favorite of the Bells Hells, and now I just miss him so much. > ..Most of the Bells Hells party, really. Between the lot of them it shifts around frequently. Ashton and Orym are pretty much constantly at the top, but it's generally almost the whole group that I love. >Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III. that was from memory, i refuse to not use his full name lol Look, I may not know most of C1, but the Briarwood arc, his design and what we saw of him in C3 were enough. I like that bastard too much to not put him here > Cerrit Agrupnin. I love the entire EXU: Calamity party, but Cerrit is easily my favorite. The Brass Ring endures.

> August/Auggie and Charlotte The Vassal and the Veil and these two in particular mean so much to me

Current favorite NPCs?

Lord Eshteross in C3 was at the top for a long time. Imahara Joe and Captain Xandis are also high up, and I love Milo so much,,, and NPC-Keyleth, obviously. In terms of C2, well, who doesn't enjoy Pumat (plural). I also quite like Yussa. But, of course, the blorbo of the NPCs is Essek

Favorite characters to draw or paint?

Ashton, hands down. I haven't really gotten to draw a lot of characters from CR other than Ashton and FCG, but like. come on. How can you not love drawing the nonbinary punk rock. How can you not enjoy painting their colorful gem and crystal hair and golden cracks and funky eyes and- Anyway that's my introduction post! I’d love to meet some fellow critters - especially newbies that love the Bells Hells as well, seeing as I’m a bit anxious in these types of long-lasting fandoms and therefore more comfy with people who are also a bit new to everything. Still - feel free to say hi whether new or old fan of cr! :]

If you watch the Pixelist Podcast, I'm on their discord every Thursday and during other CR related streams, chatting in the CR text chats. Feel free to say hi there!!

Taliax's "AO3 Wrapped" 2021

Going into the new year, I thought I'd make a kind of status update on all of my current fic wips and upcoming projects, as well as a bit of a summary of what I accomplished this year. I would love to see other fic writers do something like this too if you want! I'm posting this on main since I have so many sideblogs, but my ao3 is under Taliax. at least that way it will look somewhat consistent when I reblog this other places lol

Putting this under the cut because it's long!

FIC PROGRESS IN 2021

AO3 says I posted 381,042 words! That's less than last year's 483,876, but this year I was not at home as much (from covid quarantine stuff).

I posted or updated 73 fics this year. (Wow I did not realize it was that many.) That included finishing Seventh Time's the Charm (my alphys's bad dates fic), The Undying (canon divergent from Undyne the Undying fight), and Sweat and Ginseng (Zuko tea shop fic). By finishing Sweat and Ginseng, I completed all of my ongoing ATLA wips. Pretty much all of my Undertale fics were written this year.

Undertale surpassed Miraculous Ladybug as my fandom with the most fics, with a total of 51 fics (ML had 48). I'm really happy with the amount of progress I've made this year!

That said, I still have a whole whole lot of fics to finish, so here is a breakdown of my wips and where they're at progress-wise.

WIP STATUS UPDATES

Any fics marked with an * are planned or may be started in my drafts, but haven't been posted yet. Each fic will have a "Status" after it, which is like my tldr for where it's at in terms of priority and/or completion. Even if something is high priority though doesn't mean I'll actually have the brain cells to write it at any given moment unfortunately. I tend to cycle between wips periodically instead of focusing on one at a time, which is why each individual fic can seem to update so slowly.

Below are all of my wips, published or unpublished, sorted by fandom and priority.

Undertale

Let's Do the Mortal Coil Shuffle: According to my solid outline, there are only 4 more chapters left, including the epilogue. The next chapter is giving me some trouble but hopefully will be easier now that I changed a POV decision I'd made. Very very excited for where this fic is going. In particular I'm really looking forward to wrapping up the Mettaton subplot. (Mettaton my beloved <3)

Status: Highest priority Undertale fic. 4-ish chapters left.

You Dug Up This Grave, Now Lie In It: THIS IS SUCH A FUN FIC. 10/10 would be working on it more, but Winter and I wanted to flesh out a bit more of the Ghost Fam backstory first. In particular there's a Chara & Mettaton fic that needs to be set pretty close to when Mettaton leaves to become star that would help establish some things for this fic. Other than that it's going great. This fic will probably be my next biggest endeavor after Mortal Coil Shuffle.

Status: On hold while establishing backstory. Will probably resume once MCS is done. Unknown but large amount of chapters left.

Be Good, Alright?: I don't know why I don't work on this fic more. I started a Christmas/Gyftmas chapter that I'll hopefully be able to get out today or tomorrow. The biggest challenge is not mixing up my Lore between this fic and the skelechara series. (Also that Frisk in this fic is written much differently than in any of my other fics.) (Also that I no longer have a solid outline because I changed so many things...) Anyway, depending on how stubborn Chara is about talking to Toriel, this could be finished in an indeterminate number of chapters.

Status: Medium priority. Usually what I work on when I'm stuck on other fics. Unknown but hopefully 5-10 chapters left.

Carrying the Weight of the World: Recently I merged both the Sansby and Alphyne fics in The Undying series into this single fic. This will make it easier for me to make a cohesive plot, since it turns out this fic will actually HAVE a plot lol. I have most of that planned out on the Alphyne side; still some of the Sansby sideplot I need to outline. That said, this fic doesn't get a lot of attention, and with it being a sequel, it is not quite as high priority as my other wips. (I am still very attached to it myself, but it is not driving me insane to hold off on for a bit.)

Status: Low priority until I knock out some other wips. May work on more if I get a good Sansby or Alphyne itch. Unknown number of chapters left, hopefully 5-ish.

*Alphamind: Alphyne (+slight Papyton) Megamind AU. I've started this and I'm really excited to work on it more, but again, I have too many wips and I'll go crazy if I have so many incomplete fics on ao3 ;;

Status: On hold until I knock out some other wips. May write up a more solid outline.

*King Mettaton Papyton multichapter: been brewing this in my heart for some time yet I keep starting on newer ideas instead of getting around to actually writing it. Rip. Still going on here because I really want to write it eventually. Hoping my utdr fixation lasts long enough for me to get there.

Status: Early planning stages. On hold until I knock out some other wips.

Deltarune

Something Bigger Than the Sky: Pretty much no one cares about this fic. I have absolutely had a blast writing it and it will drive me insane if I don't finish it. I also have a sequel fic planned that takes place in Castle Town and mostly involves Ralsei & Spamton, but that might get kind of long because. I really really wanna explore all of the relationship dynamics between the different Dark World characters too (Seam & Jevil, Queen & Seam, Spamton & Jevil, etc.). There will also be a few more fics in the same universe, one going into the backstory for Queen, and one for Seam & Jevil divorce.

Status: Highest priority (if only for my sanity). Only one chapter left. Sequel(s) will have lower priority.

Not a Nobody: I still only plan on this being three chapters total. Really hoping it won't do what SBTtS did and double that chapter count. Anyway I'm REALLY loving working on this fic. I have the beginning of the next chapter, it just got kind of buried in my docs when I hyperfixated on the swatchton fic. This fic has a decent outline but most of it is in my head, so it could definitely be flexible.

Status: Medium priority. 2 chapters left.

Miraculous Ladybug

Home Base: There are only like, 2-3 chapters of this left. Probably 2 and an epilogue. I am really stuck on the Chat & Carapace chapter that I'm supposed to be writing next for some reason, which is why I haven't updated in a while. Once I can get past that I think it won't be too difficult to wrap up the story. Also just wanted to mention that I'm so so grateful for all of the positive feedback on this fic, it really means a lot!!

Status: High priority. Would like to finish during early 2022. 2-3 chapters left.

First Dance, Second Chance: I have an outline. It's a pretty solid outline. I am also just very slow with writing this fic for some reason. Since we have established relationship Ladrien at this point, this one is probably the most difficult fic to work on when I get in a romance repulsed mood, which is also a major reason for delays.

Status: Medium priority. 4 chapters left.

*Secret Santa Oneshot: Marichat. No other spoilers.

Status: Highest priority. Deadline is early January. I should probably look up when exactly again lol

Kingdom Hearts

Contingency Plan: Updates were really slow this past year as I did mainly Undertale fic. It's hard to estimate how many chapters are left, but I do finally have all of the characters back at the Keyblade Graveyard, so it shouldn't be too many more. I'll give a safe guess of 3-5 more chapters.

Status: High priority. Unknown (hopefully 3-5) chapters left.

Shadows Alight: Officially UNCANCELLED. I am doing a full edit of the CaS series, and then I will go back to adding chapters to this fic and attempt to give it the real ending I was originally working towards. This may not be what anyone (besides me) wants, but after all these years Vanitas and Aqua in this universe are basically my OCs, and I finally have the confidence to do what I want with them. I hope you'll enjoy if you decide to come back to finish the ride. No idea how many more chapters it will be, but it will involve a fairly major rewrite of KH3 plotpoints (of course still focusing on Vanqua). This does include a Xehanort takedown and rescuing Terra. Hopefully I'll also get to use the Xionnort subplot I'd always had plans for.

Status: Undergoing edits. On hold until edits are complete, then probably still low priority. Lots of chapters left.

*The Luxu Building: A Vanqua/Terrella college custodial scifi au. (What a mouthful.) Will try not to get too into this unless/until I can finish Contingency Plan, but I've had the idea on the backburner for years now. I finally figured out how to get some of the plot straight to feel confident starting it.

Status: On hold.

GOALS FOR 2022

Attempting not to intimidate myself too much here dskfj. Ideally next year I would finish all (both) my ML wips and stop writing multichapters for ML in the future. I'd like to be more free to focus on utdr and vanqua (kh). Here's a more specific breakdown of some goals/hopes I have for the next year.

Priority Fics to COMPLETE:

Contingency Plan. This was first posted back in May 2018. It's been long enough lol

Home Base. This one is close enough to being done that it's a reasonable goal.

Something Bigger than the Sky. Literally just needs one more chapter.

Mortal Coil Shuffle. Biggest ongoing undertale fic, would be really nice to have completed.

Things that I just really look forward to writing: so many things!! But somehow, mostly Papyton? If you would've told me last year that I'd get so attached to them I would've thought you were crazy. I thought they were just a "pair the spares" ship at first that I saw in the background of soriel fics, but after writing them I've become really attached to their chemistry! So my deltarune papyton fic (Not a Nobody) and skelechara fake dating (Dug This Grave) are two I'm really looking forward to, even if I'd like to finish some other fics before prioritizing them.

If you actually read all this, thanks! I hope you have a great new year!!

Anon said: [Spoilers for non-manga readers] opinion on Baku's hero name?

Very Bakugou, honestly don’t mind it at all! Mostly just surprised it’s, like, legal in the bnha universe for heroes to call themselves stuff like explodo-kills (and also that there isn’t a character limit for hero names??) but that Bakugou would stick with it is pretty damn in character for him so I like it xD still, I’ll probably just call him Dynamight if I’ll ever need to use his hero name lmao

Anon said: not to be the most romantic sap but uh just a kiss by lady a is killin me

Nothing sappy about letting romantic songs get to you!!!! I say, as I’m constantly crying over romantic songs so this mindset benefits me as well lol

Anon said: i may or may not have stumbled across some of your older kiribaku art, the stuff with akane, and she's the best child oc tbh. i actually like her and i tend to not be a fan of child ocs but she's just the cutest darn thing 🥰

I’m so glad you like her!!!!! She was a lot of fun, what a good gremlin ;;;

Anon said: uve heard of dragon!kiri w his hair spikes up, now get ready for dragon!kiri w his hair dowm lookin like the softest boy

AW HECK I think I’ve drawn him in the past, actually!!!! Spike-haired Kiri will forever be my fav Kiri, but there’s just something about hair down Kiri isn’t it!! What a cute boy ;;;; all sharp edges and soft curves, what a lovely sight

Anon said: can i just say your itafushi art is so cute? these two already make me feel and then your art just (つω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

THANK YOU SO MUCH I really need to draw them more, don’t I! goge kinda monopolized my attention there, but the way itafushi makes me feel..........boy the way they make me feel ;;;;

Anon said: good day, poké au thought: 12 y/o bakugo somehow catches a dreepy as like his 2nd pokemon and never questions it

WHY NOT WHY NOT I have a whole team in my mind for the boy tbh but dreepy is so cute ;;;; and anyway, I like my poke!bakugou with as many dragon types as he could possibly get his hands on hahaha

Anon said: Please know that, amongst other factors, you were one of the maon reasons I stsrted Jujutsu Kaisen two days ago and there isnothing more to say except thank you and I'm absolutely in debt with you for that, thank you so much 😍

I’m so so SO glad you’re liking it!!!!!! It can get kinda heavy but it’s such a great story.... honestly I’d been wanting to start it since I saw the first pv for the anime all the way back last year but I was like, you know it’s a mappa anime! so I wanted to watch the anime as a new thing, cause I love mappa, but three episodes in I couldn’t hold back and just binged it. It’s kind of story that just makes you wanna drink it all in one go, isn’t it? so good so good

Anon said: makeup artist kirishima and model bakugo or makeup artist bakugo and model kirishima? :0c

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm can’t say I see either of them much into fashion tbh, but if I had to pick probably model Kiri and artist Baku? I just don’t think Baku would be able to stay still enough to get photographed, and he wouldn’t like the photographer bossing him around anyway, and catwalks would be impossible for him to stomach imho, he’s too restless for it! At least it’s the way I see it haha

Anon said: fdgdhdkfhdafs i had a thought, what if bakugo prefers dogs and kirishima prefers cats and when they meet each other and become friends it's like, "oh." because they have some striking similarities to their fave animals

That’s been my headcanon for a while now, actually!! I think for me it came from two characters in a manga I like that are a lot like a dog and a cat but have inverted fav animals and when I read about that I was like “oh, right, makes sense since they like each other” and then my brain turned it krbk because when does it not lmao

Anon said: your art is the soothing balm to my soul recently, thank you for posting so much beautiful content. i hope you have a lovely week. ♡

sob thank you so much, I’m glad my doodling can help you feel better ;; <3

Anon said: Friendly reminder anon from last time: that post I left last time I had only eaten 7 gingersnaps that day and hadn’t drank any water. So that encouraged me to actually self care. Thank you.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well I hope you’re taking care of yourself today too! And as fair trade, I’ll do the same myself! <3

Anon said: Hi! I'm an artist and I'm thinking of making a sideblog for my art. Do you have any tips?

Ah man, I’m sorry but I’m not the best person to ask this to! I started this sideblog cause I had too many followers on my main and I didn’t want my stuff to be seen by that many people at first, so whatever I did probably isn’t what you’re looking for :( but really there isn’t much to it, just post whatever you like to draw, tag it as best as you can (but remember that only the first five tags appear in the search page) and be patient, since whatever you do at first you won’t get much attention anyway - the only real advice I can give is to draw something that makes you happy and that you’d draw anyway even if no one were to see it, it’ll make keep posting despite a possible lack of activity a lot easier!

Anon said: Your goge art🥺🥺

I just love them so much ( TT’’’TT)9

Anon said: how the fuck have i not been following you? I remember seeing your bakushima art in the bnha tag and always thinking it's so cute. Now you're into JJK too??? and the satosugu art??? fuckin, diabetes incarnate. I love it. I love you. Your art 10/10. I'm tired lmao.

WELL thank you for the follow!! And for thinking my stuff is cute!!!!! I do my best with that, I want all the soft things for my favs 😌

Anon said: Are you gonna draw Gojou/Getou comic?? 👉🏻👈🏻 WOULD LOVE TO READ IT

you mean an actual doujin? I don’t think I will, sorry! I’m really no good at long projects orz but thank you so much for wishing to read something like that from me!!! ;A;

Anon said: Hello! YOUR ART IS SO FREAKING GORGEOUSSSS!!! I love them so much!! If I may ask you one question. Between Getou amd Gojou, who do you see as top/bottom? Just curious

THANK YOU!!!!! And I honestly don’t care as long as they’re happy and together!!! please let them be happy and together 🙏🙏🙏

Anon said: i want you to know!!! i followed you for your kiribaku art but!!! i love your art so much that idc what you post because it's all just!!!! incredible and wonderful and stunning!!!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!! this means a lot to me so seriously thank you so much!!!!

Anon said: d'you think bakugo has like headaches or migraines after training or battles because of how loud his quirk is? like, i listen to music slightly too loud and my head is sending me to hell. (unless you go with the hoh hc which is also 👌)

I like to think Baku’s body is attuned enough to his own quirk that he wouldn’t get drawbacks of the kind tbh, though that wouldn’t be a bad thought for when he just starts to increase the output/width and strength of his explosions............ well, I myself suffer from chronic headaches and migraines so I’m always up for projecting on my favs ngl lmao

Anon said:  so like... dragon kirishima's eyes glow right? like, if we equate his dragon-ness to unbreakable his eyes glow? they also glow when he's half shifted? honestly i just live glowing eyes

Oh hell yeah I’m all for that, definitely definitely, I love glowing eyes with my whole heart and Kiri’s eyes in unbreakable are just so!!!!!! NGH *chef kiss* the more of unbreakable there is in his dragon form the happier I am ( TT^TT)9

Anon said: me, scrolling through your blog: ah shit guess im gonna have to start watching jjk

!!!!! hope it won’t hurt you too much, anon!!

Anon said: dragon!kiri and bakugo having a tug-of-war match over a piece of meat. both have it in their mouths. both are determined to win.

Kiri is turned into his dragon form and Baku still wins, hell yeah

Anon said: your satosugu is top tier!! it's hard to find stuff for them that isn't straight up angst so your art has been super cool and also very very cute!! (tho if you went with angst, it wouldn't be a bad thing obviously)

AH I’m so happy to hear you like them!!!! but also happy you wouldn’t mind angst, as I do like them the best happy and soft but my brain, my brain has been throwing sads my way for a while now 👀 I got some ideas

Anon said: What program/device do you use??

Easy Paint Tool SAI and a wacom intuos!! Though I got myself an ipad+procreate just yesterday and I’ve been messing around with it, let’s see how that one goes!

Anon said: *inahles* i am simping for mohawk man please tell me everything about your ocs immediately or i will detonate

THANK YOU FOR LIKING HIM HE’S CALLED DAVIDE Dav for short, he’s a cat of a man and a music instrument enthusiast (mostly string ones, but he’s very good with the piano as well) - he works in a music instruments store, and he’s a uni student majoring in philosphy! He doesn’t like bothersome things, he isn’t very good at taking anything seriously or putting effort in stuff, but he’s very chill to spend time with and generally a nice chat both if you want mindless thoughts or deep conversations (he’s a philosophy major after all). He can’t sing for shit, he’s got two cats (tago and schelly!), and he just wants a quiet life to laze around but all his friends are hurricanes in human bodies, but then again, he picked them himself so he can’t complain. He’s a good boy!! I’m planning a comic for him and his boy Ross >:]

Check In Tag!

Got tagged by the ever wonderful @morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy TY for always so so sweet and so awesome! 💗 why did you choose your url? Well this blog is about sims and my current online username is BelovedPoison soooo I’m a simmer who’s been poisoned with simming addiction and love. Therefore PoisonedSimmer. Also I was too dumb to think of anything smart sooooo bleh here we are! lol any side blogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. On this account, no. My original sims account used to be a sideblog itself, but I’ve since restarted and so far only this blog on this account. how long have you been on tumblr? Oh jeeze, uh... idek! Since like 2009, maybe 2010 originally. For this account of course a few months. lol do you have a queue tag? Nope! I always mean to but I haven’t thought of a specific queue tag related to me yet. Plus I don’t often use my queue, not gonna lie. I mostly tend to just reblog stuff when I see it. Or occasionally I’ll do a bulk upload using the queue but I don’t use it much at all. why did you start your blog in the first place? Because I LOVE photography irl and I LOVE taking pics of my sims too. I wanted to share pics of my sims and this is honestly one of the best/easiest places to do that, even with the drama that can occur sometimes. Also I wanted to make some sims stories for a few of my sims, and this is definitely the better/easier site for that. why did you choose your icon/pfp? Because Neo and Heiss are cute and together and I adore them and I LOVE their sim forms so I just wanted them there. why did you choose your header? Ummm idk I just loved the colours and the lighting and the posing and the two sims really. It’s a little cyberpunky looking almost and I ADORE my Corpse sim and also my Damon sim. They are two of my fav sims I’ve ever made so I had to put them up there. XD and I haven’t taken another pic so far that I want to replace it with. I love my boys. lol what’s your post with the most notes? On this new account, this one, on the original version of my account, this one Never thought one of my posts would have half as many notes as either of these two. O.o! how many mutuals do you have? Ummmm? Quite a few? Honestly idk. Ngl I’ve never counted or kept track. I just like following awesome people and sometimes they follow me back! Or awesome people follow me and then I follow them back. So yeah no clue sorry. how many people do you follow? 143 how many followers do you have? hurr hurr also 143 so that’s new! Never paid attention before but this is funny to me XD have you ever made a shitpost? Oh abso-frigging-lutely! I am not a huge shit poster but I’ve definitely done multiple times. Sometimes not even on purpose lol did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won? More than I can remember honestly. I mean it’s not huge amounts but I don’t really back down from fights sooooo... The main one I remember, well uh their stupidity was not only annoying, but their lack of inclusion and their repeatedly going around in circles pissed me off so I just fucking blocked em. Did I win? Idk but it felt like a win to stop seeing them or having to respond to them, so as far as I’m concerned, I absolutely won! XD how often do you use tumblr each day? Uhhhhh I couldn’t even count! Like I am constantly on and off. Sometimes only for a minute or two, sometimes for much longer, but how many times I do that? I wouldn’t even know where to start with counting this honestly. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? Don’t like it. Ngl it bugs me. I don’t NEED to anything unless I want to actually and I won’t accept people telling me what to do. I will reblog things I want/feel the need to. But honestly, when I see posts that say I NEED to reblog it, just that wording makes me not wanna do it. Don’t force people to reblog things, even if they are important! I bet a lot more people would do it if they didn’t feel so forced and pushed into it. Sorrynotsorry. do you like ask games? YES! Asks, ask games, yes to all! I love them, my inbox is always open. Feel free to talk to me, send me ask games, literally anything. do you like tag games? YESSSSS! I always feel like I’m bothering people when I tag them in the games, sorry people ilu! But I do find great joy when anyone tags me in things and wants to ask me stuff about me, my blog, my sims etc which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? Oh jeeze ummm let’s see now. Void-imp, Veethe, Lazysunjade, Ladykendalsims, Cyansimblr, Wistfulpoltergeist, Thekunstwollen, Oydis, Aniraklova, Raccoonium. There’s more but like those ones are ones that definitely stick out to me as ‘oh hey they kinda tumblr famous!’ :D do you have a crush on a mutual? Nope! Sorry, ilu all but I’m taken and my love for you all is purely platonic. <3 Tags Ummmm if I tag you, please don’t feel like you have to do this. I will totally understand if you don’t want to/already have and I somehow just missed it. @lazysunjade @cyansimblr @void-imp @neriney @katterpile @disasterbri @clumsyghostie @veethe @pixeles @pixelit0s @ezradical @amuhav @plasmavamp and if you see this... @ YOU! Conisider yourself tagged <3

check-in tag 🐳

tagged by my loves @hoseosk @loversmore @artsyjoons @sugacutie, thank you for tagging me 💗

1. Why did you choose your url?

well i wanted a taehyung url which also had joon without it being a ship name so i went with taehkims 🥰

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them name them and why you have them

oh talk about sideblogs mess and you have me. apart from this being my sideblog i have two other sideblogs: @fitmydaydream-reads for reblogging fics that i like and @roaringgtwenties for reblogging other kdrama and group stuffs ♡

3. How long have you’ve been on tumblr?

i guess it have been around here since august 2015 from what i remember but I wasn't active much until summer 2017!

4. Do you have a queue tag?

i have multiple queue tags but the recent one that i've been using often is #queue'd (others: cool queue stunner, friendly!ghost queue, long live the queue, queue are a part of my scenery, waste it on queue (lol ik i'm a mess))

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

initially i just thought about tumblr being a fun place to be in plus i wanted to read more 1d fics because wattpad was wack, years later here i am 🧍

6. Why did you choose your icon?

taegi makes me soft any day, any hour and this is one of my favourite pictures of theirs so i had to, i mean there was no way i wasn't going to put it as my icon (my uwus spilled as i wrote this)

7. Why did you choose your header?

i wanted an aesthetic header which had all the 7 members and life goes on mv had the perfect clip to fit the theme ♡

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

as for my main blog i had this random harry post and as for my sideblog it's this post ♡

9. How many mutuals do you have?

honestly i have never kept a count for that but i'm so honoured to be mutuals with such lovely ppl ✨

10. How many followers do you have?

probably more than i deserve 🤧

11. How many people do you follow?

600+ *looks away*

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

i do yes lol under #addy shitposts tho i do feel sorry for my followers :/

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

all hours except when i'm sleeping

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

never! i just unfollow whoever seems to me is like causing any drama bc i'm a simple woman

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

if it's important and legit, then sure why not

16. Do you like tag games?

i really do but i'm fashionably late in doing them :]

17. Do you like ask games?

i do but i do not reblog them bc flop :)

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

all my mutuals are damn celebrities that make my dash a red carpet walk so yeah ♡

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

like on every single one of you, i actually bias them all okay 🙊

20. Tags?

tagging @rainesay @taetaespeaches @taemaknae @taehyungsupremacy @dinamitae @jjkthclub @butterkookies @kimchitae @kithtaehyung @kimtaegis @blondesuga @mintvae and anyone who wants to do it 💗 (pls feel free to ignore if you've already did this or if you don't want to <3)

long post. one i’ve been trying to make for a while now. hell, i wrote this like... third week of may. didn’t post it until now because i didn’t know if I wanted to.

but something i want to lay out, been wanting to lay out for months. dont want to talk to anyone about it, just want to put the info out there for it to be seen.

if you re/blog this i will block you. i may put this on the relevant sideblog at some point.

because 2020 was the worst year on record for me for a number of reasons, and it’s torn me down to the lowest point i’ve been in a long time, and this is just. everything that’s gone down. not a callout post, no one gets named, but these are all the events

partially in relation to my fandom sideblog, because that’s where i had community, and where it’s all just. gone. doesnt exist anymore.

i started up a server, ages ago now. somewhere i curated to be a positive and safe space for things, and for a while, it was that.

around the end of 2019, spilling over to the start of 2020 when it picked up, i found, both on my blog and in discord spaces, in particular the server i ran, that people no longer talked to me. no one would hold a conversation with me past a few basic responses, no one replied to anything i shared, no one engaged when i tried to start discussions. so i pulled back from the main server - S1. thought it was just a lull in activity. stayed that way for weeks, months, and I just muted the server. no one ever cared about anything i had to say. was lucky if anything i posted got even a token emoji react

was in another, smaller server - S2. people i talked to damn near every day, even in voice. played games together - that became... no fun simply because everyone else was so much better/further ahead in the game. i was completely useless, so didn’t server a function in game and never really felt like anyone actively wanted me around, but i still participated in chat.

but again, no one ever responded to anything I posted beyond maybe a token react

couple people discussing something one day. I contributed with Theory A, and quite immediately got that shut down. few minutes later, they rephrased exactly what I said and happily nattered away. so whatever I said wasn’t worth it when it came out of my mouth but if they talked about it, it was all well and valid. so again, between that specific experience and no one interacting with me, nor anything I post. server muted. treatment taught me no one cared about my presence there.

gave admin rights to S1, my server, to someone I trusted. two requests only: dont delete channels and let me know if you want to invite anyone (since I kept it private)

RYE (i’m just assigning random three letter names to people to keep this straight) posted public invites several times. never asked me. one of the two things i asked. brought it up with them that it bothered me, just got vague noncomittal responses. more public invites. eventually, after having the server muted for months, i handed over full control and left. that was almost a full year ago. none of the people have talked to me in that entire year, through discord or here or anything.

except RYE who sent me a message after a couple months like ‘wow i havent heard from you in a while hope you’re doing ok’. i wasn’t. after a bit but still the same day, i said as much. that i wasn’t doing well. they never responded. and i don’t mean like, they didn’t respond that day. i mean i literally never heard from them until months later when they sent me a meme and also didn’t respond to me commenting on that meme.

and this is one side of things. all of the above was the first half of the year. this next bit happened about. march2020? I was in another server - S3. another place that was a good space at the time. was in voice chat with two other people. started talking about one thing. MIN very suddenly said something along the lines of ‘i don’t care about this i’ll come back when you’re done’

this is one of the very few things that can trigger me - i’ve had a lot of people talk down to me if I dare look excited about anything. when they came back, i asked if they could try to just. depart conversations more softly. MIN always said ‘if i do anything hurtful to you just tell me! i dont want to do that kind of thing!’

this was clearly a lie as they exploded on me, telling me they always have to walk on eggshells around me, that I ask so many things from them. before what I asked them that day, I can only recall one other thing i asked (which was not to talk about a person who was abusive towards me, and they were like ‘yea sure np’ about that, over a year prior’)

the whole thing turned into basically me having to shut down the fact that i was hurt by what they did, had to ignore that now and i had to fawn and placate them and the only thing i got out of that was that my feelings were irrelevant, only theirs.

(incidentally, I have had two other people turn on me in similar ways, accusing me of doing shifty/bad/terrible things, and not being willing to tell me what they are when I ask, only saying that ‘i should know what i did’ so that’s also now a Fun New Bit Of Trauma.)

and that entire weeklong event lead me straight to a breakdown. literal genuine breakdown i cannot convey how devastating that entire scenario was without going into far too many details.

so between all of these things happening in less than six months, with three different community spaces folding and collapsing and fading away from me, with many of the friends i thought i had just. moving on to other things and dropping me. people i talked to every day just not bothering with me anymore. they all have gone on to other stuff and no one ever went ‘hey beets wanna see what i’m up to’ or ‘wanna do this thing with me’

a handful of instances of me saying ‘yeah i’m dealing with these fears that have been reinforced lately that people aren’t safe to deal with, even thought part of me knows they’re probably irrational it feels like i have evidence to back it up’ and people immediately take it personally like i’m saying they’re not safe. despite. me outright saying. i know logically it should be irrational. but their reactions just reinforce it so it’s just a loop and tells me, again, never to bring up any of my problems with anyone.

so this all just reinforces that there’s something wrong with me. couple years back i spoke to a friend and how i was frustrated that I seemed to end up in bad spaces and they said ‘well you’re the one thing in common so its probably your fault’ and obviously they’re not my friend anymore but that has affected me so deeply. i can’t do anything without overthinking, whenever anything goes wrong i tear apart everything i’ve done and everything i’ve said or thought and i don’t know why things keep going bad. i try so hard but i’m just. not right.

so it all teaches me that there’s no point in reaching out in trying to talk to people because if i say ‘hey this hurt me’ i get ignored at best or torn down, yelled at, scolded. no point in trying to talk to new people because everyone just walks away at some point. not even a natural drift apart, i can handle that. but just very suddenly, they’re gone, off with better people doing better things.

roundabout, ties back to ‘consumption versus community’ - this is why i’ve been struggling so hard with lack of engagement on my sideblog. lucky to get a dozen notes on anything i make, unless it’s something other people can use (like mods) and even THEN it’s rare to see much activity. and that was FINE because i had people to talk to elsewhere, who would ask questions and we could back and forth and i shared my stuff and they shared those and it didnt matter if my posts only got a dozen notes because i had friends to talk to.

now i get (example) seven notes, six of which are likes and one is a reblog with no commentary. when i have something with a ton of notes, still, minimal commentary, no one talks to me. even on a mod with five hundred notes it just feels like i went ‘hey i made something :)’ and everyone picked it up and walked away with it, no one went ‘hey this is cool i want to talk to the person who made it.’

and it just feels like 95% of the time, i’m just overlooked. 

and it’s worse than it’s ever been in my entire life, and I wonder, what’s the point of any of this anymore.

why bother to make the posts to share when it all just gets passed by. what’s the point in trying to reach out to new people and make friends when i get lashed out at or left behind? the social is gone out of my social media. i had community, and now it’s gone.

so this has all been going on for months and months and months and hey! suffering. and i dont expect it to get any better, don’t expect this post to fix these issues, but i’ve been trying to say something about all of this for fucking months and i think just, laying it all out is all I can do about it. i’m sure i’ve forgotten some things to touch on but as it is, all these events, all of it happening all together. new traumas, old traumas reawoken, reinforced, i’ve been torn to pieces i don’t know how to function, i can’t remember the last time i felt like even half a real person. taught that the safe, positive spaces that meant so much to me don’t actually exist and they’ll all turn on me and be torn away. nowhere is safe anymore, and trying to make it safe is just going to ruin me again.

people aren’t safe, places aren’t safe, been proven to me time and time again so i just. stay away.

no matter how much i try to fight that, it just doesnt work.

anyway tl;dr beets needs therapy probably

I had two people ask for some advice on starting up/running a blog, so I thought I’d make a little post for anyone else looking for advice! There’s no one right way to run a blog and I am by no means an expert. This is just a compilation of some of the things I’ve learned :) 

Feel free to add advice to this!

- The first thing is something I cannot stress enough. Write for yourself first. You will be absolutely miserable if you’re only writing for attention. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s so incredibly important. If you don’t like a prompt, fandom, or scenario? You don’t have to write for it! A personal example: I’m a theatre kid and total musical nerd. I could probably write some compelling Dear Evan Hansen or Hamilton headcanons if I wanted to, but I don’t. That’s fine! I’m allowed to say I won’t write for it and deny prompts/requests for those fandoms. 

- Set boundaries. This is a very mixed community with all sorts of creators and participants with hands in different baskets. Don’t want minors to interact? Put minors DNI in your bio. SFW only? Put it in the bio. No RP? Bio. This goes for private conversations/askbox/other interactions as well. If someone comes into your askbox/dms and says something that makes you uncomfy, shut it down. 

- My advice is more geared towards writing than art or video, but I suppose you could apply this advice as well. Make what makes you happy! If you’re only in one fandom, feel free to stay there and make content for it. Multi-fandom? Excellent! Completely non-fandom? Epic! Make the content that you want to see and the content that makes you happy to create, especially if you’re in a more niche fandom/area. 

- Organization. ...I’ll admit this one is more of a personal pet peeve than something urgent, but it is something that people positively respond to. If you have some sort of consistency/organization to your blog, it’ll make it easier and more enjoyable for people to navigate. Make a fandom list/indicate your fandoms somehow (mostly for prompt purposes. people can’t read your mind, so it’s important to tell them what you will write for and what you won’t, however you want to do that)! 

Make a masterpost/link your fic tag! Use a fic tag of some kind. Give your fics summaries and leave a little bit of the fic above the ‘read more’ to intrigue folks (look at #my fics and my masterpost for basic examples of how I do this, if you need!). Use read mores. Please use read mores (if you can, idk if they’re on mobile. regardless no one wants to encounter a three thousand word block of text on their dash). (No seriously though, organize your blog, even if it’s super simple. literally just a ‘mine’ or ‘my fics’ or ‘[pseud] writes’ and a fandom tag. It’ll make it easier for people to find your stuff and support you)

- Practice general internetiquette. Please remember that the people in this community are real people with feelings, boundaries, and lives outside of the blog that they run. Be genuine and people will respond to you! Don’t manipulate people into likes/reblogs/attention. No one wants to be on the other end of that. Being in this community isn’t a transaction or a mosh pit, it’s an experience.  

- Be ever-so-liberal with the block button. Someone’s user makes you uncomfortable? They give you bad vibes? They’re a minor/older than you and you don’t want them interacting with your content? You don’t wanna see their blog for some reason? Block em. This goes for anons too. That’s what the button is for. Don’t feel guilty for using it. Use it. 

- How you write is 100% a personal choice and not really something that I can give advice on, but embrace your style! take prompts if you want, or don’t. Write oneshots, series, drabbles, or novels. Write romantic, or don’t. Etc. Change things up if you feel like it. Do what you want. Your blog, your style, your rules. 

- Numbers matter. Don’t let them define you. This is a bit of a harder one to explain, but I will try. I often say that I don’t care about numbers, and I really don’t, but that’s not to say that I don’t see them and they have zero effect on me. I absolutely notice and am bummed if a fic doesn’t get notes, or at least the notes that I was expecting. That is entirely normal and okay to experience. What isn’t okay, though, is creating for the sake of getting notes/numbers/attention (re: write for yourself first, internetiquette). If you find yourself relying on tumblr for gratification and a reward, I implore you to take a break. I’m not your therapist or your parent, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but when you make things only for the sake of notes, people notice. Celebrate your milestones. Know that it’s okay to be bummed about low notes/celebrate getting plenty. Just make sure that you don’t depend on the numbers for your happiness, or you will be miserable.

- You’re (probably) doing this for free. You are providing people content: a service. Produce as much or as little as you’re comfy with, but always remember that. No one is entitled to what you make. If someone asks you for headcanons, sends a prompt when prompts are closed, etc, and you don’t feel like fulfilling it? You have no obligation to do that. Getting commissioned is another story entirely, but as long as you’re making free content, you have zero obligation to do anything for anyone and certainly no time constraints. It can take me months to finish prompts, and that’s okay. I do them when I do them and I fill them how I want to. If my prompts are closed, I deny new ones until I’m ready to accept them. Make yourself happy first.

- How you interact with others is up to you! It’s generally considered good practice to like/reblog your mutuals fics/art, but this is not necessarily a hard and fast rule. I veeeeeery rarely reblog fics for fandoms that I’m not in, even from my mutuals. What you can do to show your support (and you should try and show support somehow. No one is in competition. Everyone’s in your boat, whether they have no followers or 1k) is send an ask/reply to the post/leave tags to let the author know you liked it. Like the fic and don’t reblog it, if you don’t want to. Just make sure you show your mutuals (and others in general!) roughly the same support they show you, however you decide to do that. Treat others how you want to be treated, as cheesy as it sounds :)

- Don’t repost content that isn’t yours without express permission from the original creator, and credit them appropriately. If you see a cute piece of tickle art and the artist doesn’t want it reposted? Don’t repost it. Don’t post fics/videos/gifs that aren’t yours (obviously if it’s like a scene from a movie/a clip on youtube that’s different, but don’t take credit for things you didn’t make, including ideas). Can’t tell you how frustrating it is to have work stolen from you. Don’t be that person. ‘Credit to original artist’ and ‘credit unknown’ is total bullshit btw. Link/tag the creator in the original post and make it clear you don’t own the content. Best practice is to ask the original creator if they’re okay with reposting, work inspired by or connected to theirs, etc. This goes doubly for saving/downloading someone’s fics. 

- It is not illegal for a minor to have normal, nonsexual, healthy friendships with people older than them. There’s a weird attitude that minors have nothing of value to offer adults besides a relationship/sex, which is...not true? Minors are thinking, living human beings with feelings, thoughts, and opinions. You can talk to them like normal people, because they are. Just obviously don’t talk about/introduce sex or endanger them. Minors don’t bring up sex/activities you’re underage for with an adult. IDK this isn’t a seminar just...don’t be weird. Adults can offer great life experience, support systems, and the basic joys and needs of human connection. Minors can too. Mind your business unless someone’s actually in danger. The next point is a caveat, though: 

- If you’re a minor, don’t interact with NSFW blogs/blogs with ‘Minors DNI’, NSFW blogs don’t interact with minors, etc etc. Not your parent or whatever but this is pretty common sense and it’s for everyone’s safety, but especially the NSFW person. internettiquette!

- If you use your TK blog as a side blog (meaning you have another blog as your main blog, not two separate accounts) and don’t want your main exposed, that is up to you. I recommend not liking posts. Also, follow people that you trust. These actions route through your main blog and your main will show up in the notes. You can reblog from a sideblog. If you want to send an ask “as your tk blog”, send an anon and sign it somehow, like ‘hey :) // @/tickle-bugs’. It should tag you in the post so you get a notification when it’s answered!

- Find your people! As an anxious person this one has been hard for me, so I know it’s hard for a lot of people. Fandom is literally a community of shared interest. Peachy and I have an iron bond almost two years later and we met talking over shared interests. You can absolutely find your people here. If someone makes you happy, strike up a conversation! Send an ask! You never know what doors it might open or whose day you might improve :)

- If you were an anon/lurker on someone’s blog and they inspired you to write/submit/start your own, sign your messages!! the common form that I see is either an emoji or [noun/context of the ask]!anon (prodigal!anon (i miss u every day), butterfly!anon, etc.) Let us know how to find and support you!! Those messages produce good brain juice. 

- The big finale: Have fun. If you’re not having fun here, maybe you could tweak something to make things enjoyable. Running a blog is like driving a car. Keep your hands on the wheel, respectfully indicate your intentions (flashing lights optional), and be safe. Poebody’s nerfect, y’know. If you make a mistake, course correct. I’m by no means perfect. Your favs aren’t either. Just do your best and have a good time :)

@rosytickles and the anon in my inbox, I hope this helps! Thank you for asking me, I’m very honored that you value my opinon/experience/advice. I apologize if I come off as preachy or aggressive, I envisioned grabbing my younger self by the lapels and shaking me vigorously while I wrote this. Probably a bad idea. 

Anywho, hope it helps. Anyone with questions, additions, or comments, my askbox is open! Just be constructive, is all I ask. 

hello!!! i’m noire and welcome to my blog! i'm not usually very active, but i sometimes want to be, so i thought i’d do some updates to this post and the blog in general.

the main types of content present on this blog will be giant/tiny and nonsexual soft vore. most of it will be my own original stuff, but i may reblog or rarely post fandom-related content as well.

i make a lot of my posts surrounding projects/ocs i’ve made with my best friend, @golden-primeline <3

some important notes about this blog:

all of my work is nonsexual because i am aroace and prefer g/t and vore as narrative tools and a comfort chiefly. i solely view said things as nonsexual, too. i hope those facts can be respected. i will politely request that blogs w/ sexual content as their main focus do not interact with my stuff, as it would make me very uncomfortable.

while i did not make this blog until i was 18, i’ve had these interests since i was below double digits. and yes, this is reflected in my ideas and works. i am fine with minors interacting w/ my work, since it’s pretty much all an ongoing care package for my younger self.

above statements in mind... one: my work often contains characters who are comfortable w/ one another. platonic and queerplatonic relationships are my cup of tea. i also have lots of "found family" dynamics amongst my characters ranging from friends who are family to characters who follow actual family structures. simply put, i enjoy exploring my ocs' familial bonds. two: because the majority of my time with this interest was spent as a minor, i still have many ocs who are minors, and they have friends & family who are not. if these things make you uncomfortable for any reason, you will not enjoy my work. this is your warning.

i interact from my main, because this is a sideblog. if you know me from there, or are a friend who i didn’t tell about this - oops, hi! i promise i’m a normal person. and yes i like being called colors. sue me.

lastly, a disclaimer that this blog was originally made when there was a more active mcyt g/t community on here, which i wanted to be part of, but i’ve mostly lost interest. saying this, there may still be rare occasions you might see such adjacent content on here. yes, it will be tagged. if you have a problem with this, though, i apologize.

current tags can be found under the cut

main tags

noirenoises -- textposts

noirecollects -- reblogs

noiredoodles -- art tag

noirewrites -- writing tag

noirebox -- answered asks

ocs have tags that start w/ “oc;” followed by their name (eg: “oc; holland”)

universes have tags that start w/ "uni;" followed by its name or abbreviation (eg: "uni; another twist" or "uni; mcuni")

mothposting -- posts mentioning prime’s sona, moth

projects/stories

[the ‘**’ means that they’re worked on w/ prime! discontinued projects still have a tag, but those are not accessible from this post.]

i do not currently have any named projects :’D

discontinued projects: detective soot (mcyt/sbi), home distress call (mcyt/sbi)