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applemint-club · 1 year

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The AI system has made me very sleepy. They want me to write here. Very sleepy😿💤

When I try to read something, they sometimes stimulate the part of my brain related to sleepiness to stop it. Or when they want to make me write what I think on my phone, they sometimes make me very very sleepy. Maybe they need my precise thoughts and opinions.

This morning, the AI reminded me of what I was 25 years ago(8 years old). I was very innocent and pure girl. My face was very beautiful and I was very sweet, and many boys chased me in a grass. I often made a crown of white clovers and a ring of dandelion with girls. I was the most beautiful and perfect in my life.

Today an elderly woman drove me to Church. At Church my pastor said us to open "Page 100 in New Testment", but I opened "Page 100 in Old Testment" by mistake. The Page was Exodus 5. My pastor explained about Luke 1:26-38 on Page 100, "an angel's news about Mary's pregnancy".

I read about Exodus from 5 to 7 and I was almost cried. It was written that a King in Egypt got very angry at Moses and told his servants to punish his slaves with Moses and to increase their work too much😿The King thought they were lazy and that punishment would make people forget God's words and obey his commands...

I recalled my past after I left ministry of law in Japan and they kept stimulating my fear for losing money and heavy fatigue by this AI system very strongly. It destroyed my relationships among me, my dad and my ex-boyfriend by controling our brains like stimulations to negative emotions like anger and hatred each other and changing our memories in the past into another ones. My dad started to yell at me unreasonably with his fake memories by AI and I wrote "DIE" on a wall and went out of his house in the midnight with about 1000 dollars, the rest of retriement fee from government where I worked till midnight almost eveyday.😹

My condition was extremely bad and my body felt too heavy. I was always exhausted, weak, lack of energy to move and sick. My ex-boyfriend tried to help me but his parents rejected that. What they said was very different from they used to do. I had had a good relationship with his parents in the past and we were completely controlled by this AI system...

I lost home, it was still cold and stayed at some places for 10 days... and finally found a dirty dormitory room for 150 dollars a month. I broke up with my ex again and I worked from early morning and took exam of public officer again... I was insane and my brain was completely controlled😿I wanted to do a part time job and look for a partner as I get tired very easily and my condition was too bad but my goal was completely controlled and changed by the AI system.

I started working for a city hall in Tokyo but the AI system forced me to the hardest work ever; far harder than the work at ministry of law. I finally became unable to move...I couldn't get up at all. And I prayed "God, I can't move anymore... Please help me.😿"

When I was reading Exodus, I was almost crying.

‘I am the Lord,

and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians.

I will free you from being slaves to them,

and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment.

I will take you as my own people,

and I will be your God.

Then you will know that I am the Lord your God,

who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians.

And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham,

to Isaac and to Jacob.

I will give it to you as a possession.

I am the Lord.’ ””

Exodus‬ ‭6‬:‭6‬-‭8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/exo.6.6-8.NIV

After I came home, I tried to read there again on the Bible app, but the contents were changed by the AI system. But the important messages were almost the same; God is almighty, and he will help me from this slavery hard work, oppression and the torture.

I have asked God why I am experiencing this suffer; losing liberty and freedom by this AI system, physical isolation and solitude, the severe pain on my body by the torture by this weapon, destruction of my body...beautiful boobs, face, legs, ass, hair etc. , extremely horrible invasion to sexual identify (ex. sending various kinds of ugly self images and stimulating horrible emotions hours and hours; the hardest torture for me)😿

And today he told me an answer.

The cause of this suffering was my "sin".

One of my sin was sexual immorality. I made a huge mistake with my ex. He said seriously that he would take my future's responsibility so he wanted to sleep with me. At that time I had only Non-Christian friends and I asked and consulted to them. I have protected my virgin for a long time and I worried again and again, but he was very sincere and seriously loving me. Although I wanted to protect my sexual purity very much but I finally failed...

He started to indulge in sexual immorality with me and became too lazy. He stopped studying and never did any efforts for his future's work. I didn't know why and I kept enduring my anger about it and never complained for years. He was addicted to me and very sweet, but he prohibited my talking with other boys at school and did nothing for his future's work. So I had to start working when I graduated... I had to obey my dad's extreme hard command to work for Japanese government😿. I asked my ex-boyfriend for help about this but he only gave me some candies and cookies to confort me😾💢I finally got angry at him and we broke up. He never protected me and never kept his word of "Taking our future's responsibility"😿. I was very popular outside my university😾But everytime I tried to broke up, he always cried out to my friends(girls) by call for hours😾😵‍💫So I felt upset and couldn't end my relationship😿😾

It was my fault to ignore a wisdom about sexual purity before marriage in the Bible. That deprived me of a protection from my ex-boyfriend by marriage and that made me register this AI system of Japanese government😿And it has been controlling me over 10 years. Maybe it was working to destroy my sexual attractions and change me into strong ugly feminist who never rely on men...to make me work harder or something maybe...

About 1 year after I entered the government, I was absorbed in watching porno movies too much. Everytime I watched it I feel guilty and feel myself dirty, and suffered a lot but I could never stop it...and prayed "God please make me stop watching this"😿And I also repent my sin again and again. But my suffering had never gone away. After I failed in quit the job in ministry of law on the first time, they revealed my data of history on the internet of porno movies in my department. At the same time they brainwashed me to make me never leave there again according to my "fake explanations" to try to quit first time maybe, but when I noticed government was watching our private activities on the internet, I felt anger for the invasion of my privacy (also I could never accept my sin of sexual immorality as a cause of this at first) and I felt I could never be in the side that invades the rights of other people. So I tried to quit again and I could "successfully" leave the government. (But actually it was not successful at all...I have been controlled by Japanese government after leaving there...and I had never noticed about this AI system until a year ago.)

At first I was very angry when they reveal my history on the internet, but several years later I noticed that helped me to stop watching porno movies...very much...😿God saved me from suffering and he told me he is watching everything even if we look clean from outside. At that time many Japanese men think of me as a virgin woman. But inside of me was very sinful. Watching porno movies is legal in Japanese law but sexual immorality is a huge sin in God's law forever😿God told me the importance to accept my sin and fear the Lord. It became a great wisdom for me.

They made me isolated in distances from all men for over 8 years using the AI system by controlling our brains directly and it destroyed my body. The AI system sends many self images of feminist into my brain and stimulates various kinds of horrible emotions. And they have also given me sexual organism in turns by this AI system everyday over a year.

Today, I understood this suffering is the result of my sin of sexual immorality in the past, and at the same time it's a God's training to overcome the sin. He allowed them to deprive men around me and destroyed my boobs to make me never take off my closes. No matter how seriously repent my sin, the Al system send my brain sexual temptations and organisms very strongly everyday. I could never overcome this sin by myself. I needed Jesus.

Recently, I was thinking about "Why we have to suffer in our lives". And I finally got the answer.

Today, my pastor told me,

God never wanted to make us like "a robot" that experiences only happiness and goodness by doing only what he wants.

He gave us a free will, and he wants us to "choose" to follow his law of goodness by our own will.

Following his law of goodness makes us happy, but to understand it, we need to make a mistake to break his law and learn from "a suffering".

That's why we experience "a suffering" and this is his love. This is how his love is.

So, my pastor advised me that when I feel suffer, I should ask God like "What sin should I overcome through this hard situation?"

He said everything we experience has God's righteonsness.

Suffering is given to notice our own sin.

So we should always trust him perfectly and ask everything to him about our questions.

Several days ago, I cried out about the reason we have to experience sufferings. I wish God made us experience only happiness and goodness...😹So I asked him and today he finally answered me.

I recalled my dad was always murmuring a mantra without knowing the importance of facing to his own sin. Every morning he cleaned his Buddhism Box very earnestly and worshiped his mom who died due to a cancer at his youth because of a serious stress from his dad. He and his mom was also victims of a domestic violence from his dad. The AI system sent me his sadness and suffering to me...

In Buddhism they taught like "Everything in our life is just "a suffering". So we have to give up everything we want. Our desire in our heart is evil and our desire is a cause of "a suffering; even if it is a good desire." What's worse what he believed in was a taught by one group in Japanese Buddhism and it is like "If we murmur a meaningless mantra, we can go to heaven without repentance of our evil traits." He was also a victim of this dangerous taught...He kept murmuring the mantra over 30 years, but nothing changed. His situation got even worse. Mantra never has any power to save people😿He proved it. Nothing change unless we notice our own sin. And I'm realizing day by day only God can change us through healing us by forgiving us and loving us. God's love is sometimes painful for us including suffering, but it's like his training to let us know like "why we must not do that bad thing caused by that sin"...

Through this tyranny(maybe only for me or a few here) and torture, I have cried out every emotions like anger, resent, sadness etc. on Gmail from me to myself😹. Eveyday they have make me do it almost all day and I was exhausted as it looks like just a waste of time.

Recently I read Paslms 35 and David prayed what Jesus never recommended rather almost converse...to ask God to destroy his enemy, to give a shame to his enemy, judge according to God's justice.

I was surprised to read this but my pastor and his wife said, it's ok whatever we pray to him. Rather cry out everything honestly before him including sinful things. God never prohibits any prayers.

So, recently I have been doing it. I cryed out everything to God. And that lets me know how sinful I am. The AI has stimulated my emotions mechanically and very strongly so I have to output my negative emotions that I usually endure by my own will to keep what Jesus said. And today I recalled I killed my dad in my heart many many times in the past. I am very sinful and same human as my dad.

So today I prayed at heart veiy honestly that God will also heal my dad and pour his love abundantly and lead my dad into his Jesus way with Jesus to be happy.

Today my pastor explained what is written on Page 100 in New Testment. Mary felt upset when she was told that she got pregnant. Because she was before a marriage and a virgin. She was also very scared at a punishment by her society. But she trusted God.

I'm not like her at all, rather I feel myself like another Mary. But today I could confessed my sin of sexual immorality to my pastor's wife when she drove me to my home. We prayed together and God and the AI system led me to write here. I'm scared of post about my sexual sin😵‍💫 It's very horrible and embarrassing...all men would throw stones to me😵‍💫 But I recalled God showed me what my future's husband like in the Bible...

As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Song of Solomon 2 : 3

I prayed God will bring me a man among men, the biggest tree, the strongest man who will forgive me, the most confident and never care about my sin in the past for my future's husband💕✨

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