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applemint-club · 1 year

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I want to pray I thank you for all that you are and all you are doing in my life, but I can't today😾💢

God allows Japanese government to deprive my joy as a feminine woman of everything I had and I have bought😾The AI system have changed the contents of all books I got, deprived cosmetics, baking, dating, YouTube, Instagram, cats, walking, my hobby of underwear, yoga, make up, fashion, shopping, flowers, cooking, friendships, romance, music,. and prayer.

God, do you really protect me?😾

Why don't you answer me very soon?

Why do you take such a long long time for everything?

You are very hard to understand.

You look twisted.

I have trusted you sincerely in the hardest situations. Why do you try me again and again?😾💢Do you doubt me?😾💢It's very rude to try me too often.😾💢

I hate roundabout things😾💢

You are not cool at all.

I don't need profound meanings in my life.

I'm a simple person just want to live happily😾💢

I don't need paradoxical excuses for everything😾💢 I got exhausted about you😾💢

Why don't you protect my enjoyment as a feminine woman? Why don't you protect me though I trust you honestly and loyally? I'm mad at you😾💢

Why do you take over a year to give me freedom and liberty since I started to pray eagerly and hardly?😾💢

They wanna deceive me or take advantage of me by a childish fake "touching story"😾💢

God, do you really fight for me?😾💢

What prayer have you made come true?😾💢

I have trusted you no matter how hard circumstances I were, but you have betrayed me again and again.

The AI system has deprived from me one after another.

I don't need fake "touching stories" for charity anymore😾💢

I don't need your roundabout love.

I need straight one.😾💢

You do everything too slow over decades😾💢

Do you take advantage of me?😾💢

Do you take advantage of my youth?😾💢

Do you take advantage of my sexual things?😾💢

God, I believe you are almighty and perfect.

But you never did me the best at all. My ex(humans) were far better than you😾💢😾💢😾💢

Everything look fake childish deception.

What are you doing now?😾💢

Of course you have given me a lot of things to me. But I can't use them at all as the AI system is disturbing it.

They just wanna deprive my money to escape abroad😾💢

They just wanna show my situations better ones that they allow me to buy good products at surface and they protect Japanese law, but they have kept destroying the actual values of them and just depriving my money to escape😾💢They even control exchange rate; dollars/yen for only targeted me😾💢No one wouldn't believe so I can't tell except for you, God😾💢

They are controlling my saving in my bank account substantially by using AI and they just wanna deprive my hope and dreams by torture and brainwashing to give up everything. They want to make me stay here and they have done this over 10 years. It's very very ridiculous😾💢

I have prayed...

1. Please make me live as I am as a feminine woman you created.

2. Please give me freedom and liberty abroad.

especially over this one year...

But this morning the AI system offensed my sexual identity severely as usual.😾

Why God have still allowed them to defile my soul by artificial ugly and self images like a man from the AI system? The artificial image is like a bold and savage feminist with a pair of pants, black dirty hair, a dark skin, plain chest and horrible ugly face...The AI system keep sending this image into my brain and stimulates horrible emotions.

They do this especially when they want to make me stop something unavailable for them. Today when I tried to fill in blanks required on a document for pension from government that I have had to rely on.

Why God have still allowed them to deprive my liberty and freedom?😿They use various ways to control my activities...

This morning when I tried to google a Baptist Church near my mom's house, they added severe pain into my arms to stop it as usual. The websites are changed as usual and I couldn't find any information about the Baptist Church there.

The AI system always try to brainwash me in the context of Japanese Buddhism.😿Recently it uses the words "Wait for God's timing instead of yours" on a book my pastor and his wife gave me. Japanese government wanna take advantage of pastor's authority and favor to justify the tortures and make me accept them blindly in a wrong context😿Rather that shows the truth that all humans including a pastor are equal and weak under the offense from other creatures(ex. AI).

“Do not be anxious about anything,

but in every situation,

by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus😹.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/php.4.6-7.NIV

They have changed every informations I got into Japanese Buddhism...

God, you can give me an authentic "liberty in California" in a moment but the AI system just forces me to lay down and look up you silently over a year.😿

God, I don't know why you do this...

This morning the AI system was sending "peace" into my brain while I couldn't move and was lying down on a bed. "The peace" was an illusion of freedom in my mind and artificial feeling of peace, silence and freedom generated by AI.

They just force me to do nothing and sleep in my room all day, and try to paralyze the fact they have imprisoned me into a certain place they want for over a year; over 5 years in a sense.

The AI system try to misunderstand my situation as "freedom" though I can do nothing I want freely. They are controlling my brain in a distance and they reject unavailable activities for them by stimulating strong pain...😿

The AI makes me write that this is what Japanese Buddhism does to people and it's Buddhism that is "Morphine", not Christianity.

I still believe God is alive, and he can do everything...

It trys to leave my eyes from the fact that nothing

has solved yet...and now keep sending artificial peace feeling into my brain. (The AI system have changed the words of "artificial peace" into "authentic people" to show me as an insane and crazy woman😿That happens a lot o I have to modify for a long time as I'm controlled...)

The AI system delete all words related to rebellious things to a violent power and making progress for our future from my Bible app and Christianity Books.😿

After I wrote this sentences on a paper book they changed the contents, the AI system kept stimulating my strong fatigue, nausea and intense pain on my liver.

At the same time, they kept both stimulating and pushing inside strong anger and rebellious will. I couldn't move for hours.

They have been doing like this hours and hours day and night everyday over for a year.

I can just look up God and see light in California silently on my bed...they don't know how to treat a feminine woman right and I don't need any childish fake story😿

But what are the difference between me and Buddhist?

How we look are completely the same from outside...

God, what are you doing now😿

But I want to trust you...

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applemint-club · 1 year

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It takes almost half of a day to post here. I was sticked to here by AI automatically. Today I asked God again "Why can't I find liberty and freedom for a long time?" It sometimes seems just a waste of time...I have prayed that he would give me them for years. I don't know why.

5 years ago, when I saw a photo of statue of liberty, I suddenly cried. Now I know the AI system made me do so, but I really experienced her; the statue of liberty... I don't fear to lose body anymore. Especially through this severe torture for a year, my bodies under my clothes (unvisible parts) were destroyed and that makes me never fear to lose body. This May I could travel to California with little saving. I found no pain can cut off me from God, My legs has already destroyed chain of iron that has binded me to a violent power over 33 years. I'm free physically. But, my brain is controlled by Japanese government😿...by the AI system.

I feel God is above this AI system that keep controlling my brain, and he has delivered many messages from cracks of the system. So I prayed that God would control me instead of this AI system.

It seems he was listening to my prayer😿💕He started to take advantage of the AI system for

me to save me and give me freedom. Sometimes, funny things happen to me and he gives me many wisdoms through this AI system now. I also seek him a liberty. So I believe I can get it soon.✨

Freedom and Iiberty is the same word in Japanese so I don't know which thing Jesus gives us. I need both.

When I try to post God's blessings here, they stimulate my negative feelings and disturb posting. They hack my camera on iPhone12 pro that my mom bought me from a little saving to post YouTube to make a living last year. They change many photoes into ugly ones; colors and shapes. They wanna destroy my taste of beauty inside of my heart. They are concerning about my influence on society who accidentally found "the AI system"😹 and try to show me as a weird person who are always complaing, too ugly for the highest self esteem😹lol and serious woman to hide the fact...I just live happily and share some joy or fun things...😾

I got involved in their activities and I can't still escape from them. My writing is almost automatically and I don't have freedom and liberty completely...

The funny thing is the AI system sometimes disturbs even my prayer😹. They are misunderstanding that I believe if I can't pray my dream will never come true and I will scared of it or give up my heart desire God gives me.

Now my brain gets released✨

I can enjoy "Adven Tea" this month and that makes me happy everyday🥰✨

It's a moment that I can free from the torture and enjoy feminine feelings. If they permit to write this to give a better impression on others just in case that this account are watched by people. AI is sending this thought but I think God always take advantage of tricks by the wicked and turn everything into the most beautiful things.

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applemint-club · 1 year

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Yesterday, I finally got a punishment from God...😿

When I woke up, from my head to toes, the AI system kept sending horrible, dirty and ugly self images and senses of my body into my whole body...even inside of my heart.😿 It's hard to explain but they sometimes sent my brain some images of my photos that they changed into ugly ones and kept stimulating various kinds of ugly emotions. I felt myself was too dirty and ugly and I suffered a lot...I can't describe it as it's beyond the words...

I realized how much sin of me have been forgiven until now😿 I have really believed I have been clean and beautiful inside of my heart. I asked for a fair judgement from God, so it was a reward of what I did in the past...my sin and my judgement...I was defined by myself😿

Even when the AI system gave me some real senses of the hardest sex, God sent me love and beautiful organisms through the system (maybe it was the same measures as theirs though the purposes were completely different) and he always protected me😿 The AI system said it was a rape to change me into an ugly feminist, but I didn't think like that at all. After the "rape", the AI system sent me a dirty images into my whole body, but God protected me by telling me it's just an illusion from Satan, because I felt strong love, beauty and ecstasy to them; who did that to me. It was like a beautiful sex and I loved them because God was between me and them and he protected me.

But I got a little damages because I watched porno movies in the past and I could understand what they did to me at a certain extent(not all) when the AI system explained the meaning of them. I realized what we have in our mind defiles ourselves😿God protected me and he gave me a caution. Because I asked him "Why we don't have to break sexual morality?" I was just curious and it was his answer and wisdom for me.

But these days I have kept praying " Please judge us; me and Japanese government; according to your justice" again and again, maybe over 100 times. Because the AI system stimulates horrible emotions and kept sending cruel things into my brains day and night. After they read my sharing message about Psalms 35 with my pastor and his wife, the AI system had made me pray this prayer automatically...AI fixed my way of thinking; the system stimulated my suffering and angers and sent this prayer in terns.

I realized how sinful I was and how dirty I was...The dirt never disappeared all day long. I just felt I was already forgiven but my suffer had never gone. I realized God told me how dangerous the sin of sexual immortality again, and also, what "a judgement to others by ourselves" is like...😿Although I was already forgiven all of my sin, I judged others. For my eyes I was clean and beautiful...I thought I was right. So all my dirt due to my sin fell down at once.😿Now the AI system is stimulating sleepiness and I can't think straight.

My pastor sent me a YouTube video of worship song about Jesus. But yesterday I just felt nothing except for the fact I defined Jesus...

youtube

This morning when I wake up my dirt has already gone. There are still some dirt within me yet but I feel I am forgiven... We have too much sins within us and tend to avoid facing to them in our daily lives. Jesus never have any sins and that means he can forgive us perfectly(never judge, blame and love his enemy). Jesus forgives me full of sins so I can forgive my "enemy(in Jesus words)" like Japanese government and my dad etc. It's a natural human mental structure. Before I have forced myself to forgive everything and everyone but Jesus makes me forgive it very very naturally.

I have understood about Jesus more again. And I have understood about a meaning of forgiveness more again😿✨He told me many things at once.

Everytime I have understood about Jesus, the AI system deletes the way of my thinking they got on my phone from my brain. But that makes me want to know about Jesus more, and he always answers to my pray. I can understand Jesus more deeply than before, it's beyond thoughts and knowledge in our brains. It's more sensory than before. Maybe that's a Holy Spirit that makes me do so...The AI is doing most of them, but God works all over the AI even where it can't affect. It keeps learning but it never win God. The gap between AI and God never get smaller.

Now the system deletes the images of forgiveness by Jesus and block any thoughts about him in my brain. But I just feel I am forgiven.

Today the elderly woman drove me to Church. I did nothing but he gave me many blessings. But I can't write what I really want to write. My brain is blocked and many words from me look artificial. I prayed that God would control AI instead of it again and again...I want to tell by my own words with God. I really want to do it. Live as I am, and speak my words with God. The AI system is stimulating sleepiness strongly💤

I lost power and I'm weak but God always works for me. I can't move well due to pain and fatigue from this AI system but He is almighty and moves me to show his glory. I do nothing by myself...but he gives me many beautiful things for me. But the AI system disturbs me. It deletes my memories when I try to write... I want to record God's beauty and express my thanks to him.

The other day, the AI system made my pastor's wife said that "You are different from your friends who have husband and kids and are provided by their husband as a housewife. Ask God to live for him, not for your own desire, dream and will. You have to work like a man. Forsake all of your desire and ask God for my mission in my life."

At that time, she was like a robot and ignored whatever I gently told them...I explained like "I'm sick, can't work anymore, want to live as I am as a feminine woman he created😿" but she just repeated the same things in various logics like a robot...over hours😵‍💫. I got tired, gave up and finally prayed God "Please tell me your purpose and my mission in my life" with her.

Next week he answered.

Rejoice evermore.

Pray without ceasing.

In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Jesus Christ concerning you.

Quench not the Spirit.

Depise not prophesyings.

Prove all things;

hold fast which is good.

Abstain from all appearance of evil.

Faithful is he that call you, you also wil do it.

Thessalonians 5: 16-24

I was really glad😺💕✨

I already knew God wants us to live happy and this is his desire. So what she said was really dangerous logics similar to some cults or Japanese Buddhism. God never seek us to abandon our good desire, rather he really cherish them and wants us to rejoice, be happy and enjoy our lives.

The AI system also trys to brainwash me to glamorize "death" and "after death".

To be like Jesus never means to forsake myself, kill myself or die for others. We are not Jesus. Jesus could die as he was perfect to save me as that was his desire. My desire is not to die for others. God never created me like that. He gave us "Hope" in the hardest circumstances to see the happinet future🥰💕✨

Once they found my understanding is more solid than they expected they kept torture on me to destroy my self confidence as a feminine woman.

But whatever they do, God always protects me and use their torture for my better future as his training.😿💕✨

Today I prayed that God will tell me why he doesn't recover my boobs yet, what sin made my body like this and what should I do to overcome this.

Then at Church I opened the page of Exodus again by chance😹

“Then the Lord said,

“Put your hand inside your cloak.”

So Moses put his hand into his cloak,

and when he took it out,

the skin was leprous

—it had become as white as snow.

“Now put it back into your cloak,”

he said.

So Moses put his hand back into his cloak,

and when he took it out,

it was restored, like the rest of his flesh.

Then the Lord said,

“If they do not believe you or pay attention to the first sign,

they may believe the second.

But if they do not believe these two signs or listen to you,

take some water from the Nile and pour it on the dry ground.

The water you take from the river will become blood on the ground.””

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/exo.4.6-9.NIV

God told me again that It's God that makes us sick or recovered.

This is one of the most important wisdom for me.

He hasn't told me why but I really want to trust him and follow his law because that protects our lives💕✨

“The Lord said to him,

“Who gave human beings their mouths?

Who makes them deaf or mute?

Who gives them sight or makes them blind?

Is it not I, the Lord?”

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭4‬:‭11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/exo.4.11.NIV

Moses was not good at speaking and he consulted his worry to God.

God answers he helps Moses and he works through Moses.

Even while I'm writing this AI trys to take advantage of everything I read, hear, see, and think into kinda like a hypocritical charity story to brainwash me that to accept what l lost and give up my recovery has some beauty or like that. It's just like a morphine, not Christianity is😺😝✨ Many Japanese have died without knowing about "Hope"...God never die and be with us forever. He always keeps his promises with us😿💕✨

God recovers my body perfectly and through the path to the recovery, I will be healed by repentance day by day.

I want to record more fun things here😹The AI always forces me to write serious things here😾 God gives me a lot of think during this torture. So I want to record rather these things😾😾😾

I can't add photos in the middle of the sentences😹But I got this Adventea Calendar and I enjoy it everyday😺💕✨

My pastor said "Christmas will definitely come, everyone knows that. Like this, your best future will come absolutely."

#Youtube

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applemint-club · 2 years

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The AI system has made me very sleepy. They want me to write here. Very sleepy😿💤

When I try to read something, they sometimes stimulate the part of my brain related to sleepiness to stop it. Or when they want to make me write what I think on my phone, they sometimes make me very very sleepy. Maybe they need my precise thoughts and opinions.

This morning, the AI reminded me of what I was 25 years ago(8 years old). I was very innocent and pure girl. My face was very beautiful and I was very sweet, and many boys chased me in a grass. I often made a crown of white clovers and a ring of dandelion with girls. I was the most beautiful and perfect in my life.

Today an elderly woman drove me to Church. At Church my pastor said us to open "Page 100 in New Testment", but I opened "Page 100 in Old Testment" by mistake. The Page was Exodus 5. My pastor explained about Luke 1:26-38 on Page 100, "an angel's news about Mary's pregnancy".

I read about Exodus from 5 to 7 and I was almost cried. It was written that a King in Egypt got very angry at Moses and told his servants to punish his slaves with Moses and to increase their work too much😿The King thought they were lazy and that punishment would make people forget God's words and obey his commands...

I recalled my past after I left ministry of law in Japan and they kept stimulating my fear for losing money and heavy fatigue by this AI system very strongly. It destroyed my relationships among me, my dad and my ex-boyfriend by controling our brains like stimulations to negative emotions like anger and hatred each other and changing our memories in the past into another ones. My dad started to yell at me unreasonably with his fake memories by AI and I wrote "DIE" on a wall and went out of his house in the midnight with about 1000 dollars, the rest of retriement fee from government where I worked till midnight almost eveyday.😹

My condition was extremely bad and my body felt too heavy. I was always exhausted, weak, lack of energy to move and sick. My ex-boyfriend tried to help me but his parents rejected that. What they said was very different from they used to do. I had had a good relationship with his parents in the past and we were completely controlled by this AI system...

I lost home, it was still cold and stayed at some places for 10 days... and finally found a dirty dormitory room for 150 dollars a month. I broke up with my ex again and I worked from early morning and took exam of public officer again... I was insane and my brain was completely controlled😿I wanted to do a part time job and look for a partner as I get tired very easily and my condition was too bad but my goal was completely controlled and changed by the AI system.

I started working for a city hall in Tokyo but the AI system forced me to the hardest work ever; far harder than the work at ministry of law. I finally became unable to move...I couldn't get up at all. And I prayed "God, I can't move anymore... Please help me.😿"

When I was reading Exodus, I was almost crying.

‘I am the Lord,

and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians.

I will free you from being slaves to them,

and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment.

I will take you as my own people,

and I will be your God.

Then you will know that I am the Lord your God,

who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians.

And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham,

to Isaac and to Jacob.

I will give it to you as a possession.

I am the Lord.’ ””

Exodus‬ ‭6‬:‭6‬-‭8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/exo.6.6-8.NIV

After I came home, I tried to read there again on the Bible app, but the contents were changed by the AI system. But the important messages were almost the same; God is almighty, and he will help me from this slavery hard work, oppression and the torture.

I have asked God why I am experiencing this suffer; losing liberty and freedom by this AI system, physical isolation and solitude, the severe pain on my body by the torture by this weapon, destruction of my body...beautiful boobs, face, legs, ass, hair etc. , extremely horrible invasion to sexual identify (ex. sending various kinds of ugly self images and stimulating horrible emotions hours and hours; the hardest torture for me)😿

And today he told me an answer.

The cause of this suffering was my "sin".

One of my sin was sexual immorality. I made a huge mistake with my ex. He said seriously that he would take my future's responsibility so he wanted to sleep with me. At that time I had only Non-Christian friends and I asked and consulted to them. I have protected my virgin for a long time and I worried again and again, but he was very sincere and seriously loving me. Although I wanted to protect my sexual purity very much but I finally failed...

He started to indulge in sexual immorality with me and became too lazy. He stopped studying and never did any efforts for his future's work. I didn't know why and I kept enduring my anger about it and never complained for years. He was addicted to me and very sweet, but he prohibited my talking with other boys at school and did nothing for his future's work. So I had to start working when I graduated... I had to obey my dad's extreme hard command to work for Japanese government😿. I asked my ex-boyfriend for help about this but he only gave me some candies and cookies to confort me😾💢I finally got angry at him and we broke up. He never protected me and never kept his word of "Taking our future's responsibility"😿. I was very popular outside my university😾But everytime I tried to broke up, he always cried out to my friends(girls) by call for hours😾😵‍💫So I felt upset and couldn't end my relationship😿😾

It was my fault to ignore a wisdom about sexual purity before marriage in the Bible. That deprived me of a protection from my ex-boyfriend by marriage and that made me register this AI system of Japanese government😿And it has been controlling me over 10 years. Maybe it was working to destroy my sexual attractions and change me into strong ugly feminist who never rely on men...to make me work harder or something maybe...

About 1 year after I entered the government, I was absorbed in watching porno movies too much. Everytime I watched it I feel guilty and feel myself dirty, and suffered a lot but I could never stop it...and prayed "God please make me stop watching this"😿And I also repent my sin again and again. But my suffering had never gone away. After I failed in quit the job in ministry of law on the first time, they revealed my data of history on the internet of porno movies in my department. At the same time they brainwashed me to make me never leave there again according to my "fake explanations" to try to quit first time maybe, but when I noticed government was watching our private activities on the internet, I felt anger for the invasion of my privacy (also I could never accept my sin of sexual immorality as a cause of this at first) and I felt I could never be in the side that invades the rights of other people. So I tried to quit again and I could "successfully" leave the government. (But actually it was not successful at all...I have been controlled by Japanese government after leaving there...and I had never noticed about this AI system until a year ago.)

At first I was very angry when they reveal my history on the internet, but several years later I noticed that helped me to stop watching porno movies...very much...😿God saved me from suffering and he told me he is watching everything even if we look clean from outside. At that time many Japanese men think of me as a virgin woman. But inside of me was very sinful. Watching porno movies is legal in Japanese law but sexual immorality is a huge sin in God's law forever😿God told me the importance to accept my sin and fear the Lord. It became a great wisdom for me.

They made me isolated in distances from all men for over 8 years using the AI system by controlling our brains directly and it destroyed my body. The AI system sends many self images of feminist into my brain and stimulates various kinds of horrible emotions. And they have also given me sexual organism in turns by this AI system everyday over a year.

Today, I understood this suffering is the result of my sin of sexual immorality in the past, and at the same time it's a God's training to overcome the sin. He allowed them to deprive men around me and destroyed my boobs to make me never take off my closes. No matter how seriously repent my sin, the Al system send my brain sexual temptations and organisms very strongly everyday. I could never overcome this sin by myself. I needed Jesus.

Recently, I was thinking about "Why we have to suffer in our lives". And I finally got the answer.

Today, my pastor told me,

God never wanted to make us like "a robot" that experiences only happiness and goodness by doing only what he wants.

He gave us a free will, and he wants us to "choose" to follow his law of goodness by our own will.

Following his law of goodness makes us happy, but to understand it, we need to make a mistake to break his law and learn from "a suffering".

That's why we experience "a suffering" and this is his love. This is how his love is.

So, my pastor advised me that when I feel suffer, I should ask God like "What sin should I overcome through this hard situation?"

He said everything we experience has God's righteonsness.

Suffering is given to notice our own sin.

So we should always trust him perfectly and ask everything to him about our questions.

Several days ago, I cried out about the reason we have to experience sufferings. I wish God made us experience only happiness and goodness...😹So I asked him and today he finally answered me.

I recalled my dad was always murmuring a mantra without knowing the importance of facing to his own sin. Every morning he cleaned his Buddhism Box very earnestly and worshiped his mom who died due to a cancer at his youth because of a serious stress from his dad. He and his mom was also victims of a domestic violence from his dad. The AI system sent me his sadness and suffering to me...

In Buddhism they taught like "Everything in our life is just "a suffering". So we have to give up everything we want. Our desire in our heart is evil and our desire is a cause of "a suffering; even if it is a good desire." What's worse what he believed in was a taught by one group in Japanese Buddhism and it is like "If we murmur a meaningless mantra, we can go to heaven without repentance of our evil traits." He was also a victim of this dangerous taught...He kept murmuring the mantra over 30 years, but nothing changed. His situation got even worse. Mantra never has any power to save people😿He proved it. Nothing change unless we notice our own sin. And I'm realizing day by day only God can change us through healing us by forgiving us and loving us. God's love is sometimes painful for us including suffering, but it's like his training to let us know like "why we must not do that bad thing caused by that sin"...

Through this tyranny(maybe only for me or a few here) and torture, I have cried out every emotions like anger, resent, sadness etc. on Gmail from me to myself😹. Eveyday they have make me do it almost all day and I was exhausted as it looks like just a waste of time.

Recently I read Paslms 35 and David prayed what Jesus never recommended rather almost converse...to ask God to destroy his enemy, to give a shame to his enemy, judge according to God's justice.

I was surprised to read this but my pastor and his wife said, it's ok whatever we pray to him. Rather cry out everything honestly before him including sinful things. God never prohibits any prayers.

So, recently I have been doing it. I cryed out everything to God. And that lets me know how sinful I am. The AI has stimulated my emotions mechanically and very strongly so I have to output my negative emotions that I usually endure by my own will to keep what Jesus said. And today I recalled I killed my dad in my heart many many times in the past. I am very sinful and same human as my dad.

So today I prayed at heart veiy honestly that God will also heal my dad and pour his love abundantly and lead my dad into his Jesus way with Jesus to be happy.

Today my pastor explained what is written on Page 100 in New Testment. Mary felt upset when she was told that she got pregnant. Because she was before a marriage and a virgin. She was also very scared at a punishment by her society. But she trusted God.

I'm not like her at all, rather I feel myself like another Mary. But today I could confessed my sin of sexual immorality to my pastor's wife when she drove me to my home. We prayed together and God and the AI system led me to write here. I'm scared of post about my sexual sin😵‍💫 It's very horrible and embarrassing...all men would throw stones to me😵‍💫 But I recalled God showed me what my future's husband like in the Bible...

As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Song of Solomon 2 : 3

I prayed God will bring me a man among men, the biggest tree, the strongest man who will forgive me, the most confident and never care about my sin in the past for my future's husband💕✨

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applemint-club · 2 years

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The AI is disturbing my pray. It has been trying to deprive my joy as a feminine woman over a year.

It was a gift from God for me. But I lost it just to live in my narrow mind, 12 years ago. I was forced to obey to my dad's command to work for Japanese government, and I pretended like an aggressive feminist. I was young and dishonest.

Like Esau in the Bible, I broke his words and "pretended dishonestly" and then, I lost my right to live as a feminine woman he created.😿

I managed to quit the job 3 years later and tried to escape, but I was blind and never noticed this horrible system was controlling my brain directly even after I left the government over 10 years in total...

Now, they have tried to hide the fact by destroying my appearance, brainwashing me into a self image of an ugly woman like a savage man who worship government power and anyway trying to make my self esteem lower to never tell this fact. They are trying to deprive my confidence all days, but all their efforts are like a comedy😹. But the tortures are very painful and horrible. I can't express in any words.😿

The other day when they finally destroyed my face, God sent me a love letter.😿💕

“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,

come with me.

See! The winter is past;

the rains are over and gone.

Flowers appear on the earth;

the season of singing of birds has come,

the voices of doves is heard in our land.

The fig tree forms its early fruit;

the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.

Arise, come, my darling;

my beautiful one, come with me.”

My dove in the clefts of the rock,

in the hiding places on the mountainside,

show me your face,

let me hear your voice;

for your voice is sweet,

and your face is beautiful.

Catch for us the foxes,

the little foxes that ruin the vineyards,

because our vineyards are in bloom in spring.”

‭‭Song of Solomon‬ ‭2‬:‭10‬-‭15‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/sng.2.15.NIV

I despaired my life in the horrible autumn day in Japan; the country where Christians are minority, only 1 % of the whole people. I have really hated Japanese autumn since I was a kid as it makes me feel lonly, depressed and upset. And I cursed my life on the day and said "God, why did I have to be born in such a terrible country😿" "Why can't I still move to California even though I have done my best😾"

After that when I went to Church, pastor's wife gave me a booklet with a title of "Spring will come to your life." And I found the love letter from God there.

He told me the meaning of my name "晴香". "晴" means a beautiful sunny sky and "香" means fragrance of flowers. I was born on a cold day in January but when my dad looked up a sky he felt a future of spring full of flowers.

I realized that's why I hate Japanese autumn🤔😹lol God told me he created me to wait for spring in winter to give me "Hope".😿

I recalled my mom told me when I was a baby my smile always gave her hope. No matter how severe my dad hit and kicked her everyday, my smile made her happy. She was also isolated from her family and friends for over 20 years after her marriage as my dad prohibited them.

When I was 13, the violence and insult from my dad to my mom was the hardest. My dad has like a serious border line personality. He was very violent without reasons and offense us in very crazy contexts so we always feared him and had to endure his irrational violence.

School was fun but I could tell it to no one. I wanted to suicide and tried several times to jump off from my apartment into a ground. Cars and houses were small and wind was cold, but I couldn't. Then at that time I met the Bible. My family is Buddhist so I don't know why there was the Bible(New Testment) on my bed. My mom, brother and me were living together in a same room and endured his violence. I absorbed many words from Jesus because I was really impressed and I wanted to be like him. I don't wanna be like my dad and every time I got depressed by his offense I opened the Bible. I wanted to know "why"; Why did I have to experience such sufferings... That mystery always make me seek the words in the Bible.

I had rebelled to my dad several times as I wanted to protect my mom. But my dad started to bully me severely and violently and to discriminate me to love only my brother extremely. I was dying for love and I was very popular among Japanese younger boys (I was not a bitch at all and even I was virgin when I was a teenager😺💕). So I always confirmed how they saw me and reacted to me and that filled my self respect at certain extent. Boys were gathering to me so I was seeking boy's love one after another but my heart never satisfied. I needed love more and more and more...like a spring without water.

At surface my life was like a spring until I entered the government. But on a negative side of my life, I have been always suffering from a violent existance who has a power; My dad and Japanese Ministary of Law(secret police).

20 years ago, I was struggling with strong impulse of suiside and God gave me the Bible.

10 years ago, the impulse came back again to me strongly but only my young, matured and beautiful body made me stopped it.

Now, after they completely destroyed my face and body, God calls me "my beautiful one"😿💕 And I felt his love without reasons. He is always with me and loves me.

I don't wanna suiside anymore and there is

hope in my heart😿✨He gave it to me.

He calls me "a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys and lily among thorns" several weeks ago.

Last Sunday when I heard a worship song at Church, and I got a message that Jesus is a rose that blooms at midnight in winter.🥰

He can show his light in darkness, even in the darkest night.💕✨

He can give me his fragrance even in the coldest winter.💕✨

I could never survive under this torture by myself and I would perish with resent curse...

I realized Jesus has helped me, in the weakest condition.

Jesus is my hope itself though his existance is invisible so still vague and abstract for me. But I understand he makes me overcome my limits as a human. I believe he will spread his fragrance through me.😺💕✨

God always delivers me his wisdoms and love by his own ways in their blind spots AI can never find. AI learns them of course, but God always win😺lol

They have changed the contents in the Bible on my phone and they have controlled what my pastor say.

But God always gives me his authentic messages. Last Sunday I got this scripture on a donation bag.

“Do not be afraid.

Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today."

Exodus‬ ‭14‬:‭13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

And today I read the next sentence on the app.

"The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.

The Lord will fight for you;

you need only to be still.””

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭14‬:‭‭14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Maybe, "Egyptians" are like Japanese government or "something" for me. I will trust him.

God told me the importance of honesty through this 10 years😿. They have deprived many joy as a feminine woman, and even my identity as a feminine woman are threatened in crucial ways everyday😿. I don't wanna lie anymore. I got exhausted as they are suspicious about everything I do honestly according to their way of thinking and they try to get exact personal informations in their point of view and repeat doubting my honest testimonies again and again, days and nights, hours and hours😹. God trains me to be honest and sincere more and more, and tells me to trust him. I believe he will repair my boobs🥰✨

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applemint-club · 2 years

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Every morning when I get up, they send various images of ugly horrible woman (sometimes even the ones of men) from their computer into my brain very strongly and at the same time stimulate some emotions and senses like pain, nausea, despair, sadness, anger and suffering.

They have been trying to change my self image and identity into ugly feminist like a man.

Now, they are sending an image of small boobs(less than size A in Japan; almost plain breast) into my brain and stimulating uncomfortable mixed feelings. Now my self image is as if like a woman with plain tiny boobs by nature since I was a teenager and who loves it, and at the same time they are sending some emotions, thoughts and senses like doubt, laughter and anger about it. They can change our self images in our human brains mechanically by AI. They say they can completely delete my memories of my beautiful boobs; the size(D), shape and texture in the past and stimulate fear very often.

A year ago, they have destroied my boobs, face and other parts of my body into ugly ones with a weapon in a distance actually. My boobs got smaller suddenly within several minutes. Of course I ate 3 times a day properly. And at the same time, they have also changed my photoes in the past on my phones and made many fake ugly photoes I've never taken with my friends😿. They also change my image in a mirror when I see it very frequently into many kinds of ugly ones that never exist and are processed by AI; they can control many informations in human's brain directly.

Today they have lead me to post this here. And I'm a little bit nervous to be taken advantage of for one of their possible purposes to hide and deny the existance of these technologies...They have been investigated many personal informations through my brain like my authentic belief, character, common sense, way of thinking or human relationships in the past before I started working for Japanese government...by repeating input of crucial stimulations into my body and brain and outputs on my phone in turns for almost a year. They say they have already collected my information and they can delate all evidences.

I'm not sure if this SNS is open to public online as they can change and block all of my posts on my phone. They can show me fake screen and show others the another fake ones.

They can change and delate datas of messages themselves from my family and friends on emails and SNS, and also they can control their(my family's and friends') brain directly and make them speak, write, feel and think what they(Japanese secret police from government) want.

They have been controlling my pivate human relationships over 10 years by using this AI system by controlling our brain directly. I noticed this because I found how people react to me is based on my fake character I was pretending in a government. It was completely different from my authentic character when I was a student😹lol.

I was feminine by nature and I never went to university frequently; only 20% of requirement. I didn't study at all and my interests were cooking, baking, dating, romance, design, feminine fashion, and cosmetic etc... I have never got angry at others(only got angry at my close family😅) and never complained or told my opinions even when I was treated irrationally or I saw some irrational things. I was kinda like a feminine, friendly, childlike and sweet girl like most of other typical Japanese younger girl.

But I pretended as a serious, selfish and bold feminist like who has an ambition for hardest work and strong eager to promotion like a man, when I took a job interview. My dad who believes in power forced me by fear and violence to enter Japanese government. I had to act just for living🥲

I went to girl's high school and took science class there as my memory function suddenly got terrible since 13 years old.🥲I could remember almost nothing in other classes like history, politics, or old Japanese language.

I major in architecture at science University but no one saw me as like a science girl😺✨Boys outside the school never noticed my major. I was interested in design, especially in beautiful feminine interior designs, gardens and stylish modern houses. But the classes were too hard so I didn't went to the university at all. And, I got a job to design and construct prisons in whole country in Ministary of Law😹. There was no choice for me as my dad forced me to be a government officer. And I thought I was lucky to be able to do design things even in government😹It was like a comedy for me to deal with prisons and to work for government.

Since about 2nd year in Ministary of Law in Japan, they have been controling my family, friends and boyfriend in my private according to their "assumption"😹 over 10 years.

I understand how I look without "the title of government"😹. About 12 years ago, on the 1st year in government, 10 men in social circles asked me for dating seriously at the same time in my private(of course I can tell who is serious at heart or not with flattery😹lol and we didn't have iPhone yet and online dating services neither, like now. At that time I had a boyfriend and they didn't know it.) I can see myself objectively of course😹lol, but serious men in Japanese secret police in government never understand how I am and how I was like in my private and still unable to modify the AI system.😺😸✨People around me are still kept reacting weirdly by AI no matter what I enter on my phone everyday. Maybe they are still misunderstanding me and they are thinking they can take advantage of me as a funny and crazy woman with a self conceit if they change all of my photoes into ugly ones(maybe even if they didn't lol) and that's why they have approved me to post here. Very funny😹 I'm very humble, sincere and honest and have enough common sense.

My feminine and sweet mom who had endured domestic violence from my dad over 20 years are changed into a bold, selfish, aggressive and savage feminist like a man. She was a very beautiful and tender house wife who worked in a Japanese famous business company as a secretary of executives before marriage around 40 years ago.

A year ago this AI system started to control her to act like a selfish woman who has an Alzheimer. I got isolated physically(by locations) from my separated family and friends. I can contact with them on SNS but all of them are controlled by this system. My mom's uncle is "dead", they say. And one of my friends is also "dead". They held even funeral...😿(I never saw her dead body🤔) My brother was arrested 10 years ago(←I'm not sure if this is related to the government though)

But it's a clear fact that this system can control what we say, what we think and how we feel, and trys to avoid talking about this mystery each other and to modify our relationships at surface to the 3rd party. But my honest friendships over 20 years are never broken so I feel lonly now but I trust God and someday I will be able to meet them and talk about what was going on among us. Maybe Japanese government are using this system only for a certain people they are targeting. Because the system is too terrible and many people would notice if they use it for all Japanese😹.

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applemint-club · 2 years

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Japanese AI has deprived the sentences of my pray I created yesterday when I was washing dishes a moment ago by deleting memories of them in my brain and stimulated negative emotions very strongly. They disturbs my pray very often.

They collect the ways of my thinking on my phone when I output my thoughts and feelings, and everytime they got the data they try to attack my heart directly by blocking these thoughts I use in my brain very precisely and depriving my defense.

I'm not sure how to deal with this kind of torture. This sufferes me very often. God knows everything about us even before we pray. Even when we can't pray, he understands everything in our heart, like disires, concerns, complains, problems and conditions we have.

But when I couldn't pray my heart gets damaged very easily as I lost natural emotional reaction to protect my heart and suffers a lot because what's worse my negative emotions are stimulated directly by AI mechanically.

A moment ago, AI have deleted the vague image of "goodness and evil" and "judgement by God, especially punishment toward evil", and kept stimulating negative emotions like anger, dipression, despair and fear.

All my thoughts were blocked by AI, and I could only look up God...There were him and me. I knew he was with me but my heart suffered a lot. I could not ask him for help as they paralyzed my brain function to use language in my brain. All words disappeared...suddenly.

Many fields in human's brain seem to be explicated already among certain people at confidential revel.

Now they have released my emotion of sufferings but I'm not sure what to do when this happens.

I know God is beyond all of us including AI but I don't know why there are many sufferings in this world and why we have to suffer in our lives.

I have asked him why but he doesn't answer yet😿

I know God is almighty.

But,

Why does God approve them to make me suffer?

Why does God approve them to injure me?

I know he has special meanings on our sufferings for his plans with us and he accepts our sufferings because they are the best ways... But I'm not sure why do we need "sufferings".😿

He seems difficult to understand. I wanna know about him more.

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applemint-club · 2 years

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Last night, I created the rists of prays for myself🥰

I wanna write what I think and how I feel everyday, but my brain and my emotions are blocked by AI strongly when I try to post my diary and nothing comes out from me on my phone online recently. All of my words are controlled by AI from outside, and memories are deleted...suddenly😿when I try to write. Every words are fake and artificial sent by AI that hacks my brain😿AI blocks my emotions even pains and suffers now. When I am writing this, I feel like I'm empty. All memories are gone now. Only God is looking at me peacefully and silently.

Recently I eager to be myself and tell my true and authentic words with God very strongly. This suffer to be controlled by AI makes me pray that he works through me, he controls me and he makes me speak his words instead of AI. Now all emotions including sufferings are blocked by AI, but it also seems like he controls even AI above all human beings beyond our brains. Recently I feel like want to wirte a diary everyday to record how beautiful and gracious God is. I found him above AI that controls my brain through this crucial torture and solitude for almost a year. I can't write about details as AI blocks my brain but I can just write he loves me, be with me and protects me...always😺💕✨

This summer I went to Church and a pastor and his wife have told me many things. I haven't been able to go to Church for 20 years for some reasons so I'm very happy and I want to write my worship, joy and thanks for him.🥰I can tell what Japanese secret police have been doing to me to nobody but God knows everything and he told me they are given for me to change myself through him for my future. This is very profound for me.

But now I can't write anything😿They control my brain and block my emotions...Every words are surface, fake and artificial now. They delete my unavailable memories to them in my brain in each situations and some informations on my phone and change the contents of photos and sentences etc.

But I don't care. I just want to write as I want to do. Because I know God protects me😺💕✨I trust him who judge the wicked and protects who fears him. So I never fear nobody anymore. This is what I learned this year. Everyday when I get up I realize I'm still alive and he protects me😿It's very important to fear the Lord and serve him only, and never fear any humans even they have powers, weapons or something stronger apparently.

He told me the wicked fall into the holes they makes. I have misunderstood that the meaning of "God even loves the wicked" for a long time. He does love even the wicked but that never means he never judge evil. No one can escape from the rule of goodness and evil that he made. He loves even the wicked so he punish them, makes them change their mind and lead to the right path to be happy. Because the only way to be happy is to fear the Lord and do good things. This is his love. My misunderstanding have suffered me for a long time, I realized.

I have only read the new testment as I didn't have the old testment until 5 years ago. And I didn't understand the meaning of "Forgive", "Never judge as you are judged by the way you judge." and "Love your enemy" exactly. I have tried these without knowing "the judgement by God". I have forced myself to do this without understanding he destroys evil...

Since I was a teenager I have tried to keep his words in the Bible(almost only the New Testment) and what Jesus said (of course I have failed many times), but especially when AI strongly stimulated my negative emotions very strongly and controlled my brain day and night, hours and hours everyday this several month, I have got very angry again and again and wrote many dirty words sent by AI on my Gmail account on emails from me to myself to hurt my enemy😹. I have really faced my limit as a human and sin inside of me that everyone has. I realized how sinful I am as a human.

I have noticed that I have just endured my anger by my power of my will, and I have felt like I was far from perfect like Jesus at heart, almost unconsciously. But yesterday my pastor told me God accepts me whatever I say to him, and rather he is happy when I face to him honestly no matter how ugly I am. Now I really feel I am forgiven by him. And that makes me forgive enemy.

So, I created the lists of prays for myself. These prays are very natural and truth according to my negative emotions as a human. I hope it will help me😺💕✨

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