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kkoongiee · 3 years

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txt scenarios — txt comforting an overwhelmed s/o ‹𝟹

prompt, :00 txt + comforting a vv stressed s/o who hasnt eaten in a while because they were busy with school?? thank u sm ^^

## angst % gn!reader % wc: 1426 [ cursing, anxiety, depression, mental health discussion, ]

yeonjun will be worried the whole week before he comes by with a SHITTON of snacks because u deserve them??? ur still hunched over ur laptop and he goes to u and ur eyes are bloodshot .. hes like baby this won’t do .. 🧍 yeonjun will take over proof-reading for u while u get something to eat n go freshen up!!! he tells u to get into those jammies and he will be waiting for u to come back so he can finish up with u laying down next to him :((( he’ll prolly give u little pats on the head while he clicks away at keys to finish it up, if u can’t sleep then junnie will want u to talk to him about good things 🥺 he’ll listen to u talk about ur day and talk about what u r gonna do, then he’ll give u a gentle reminder that he loves u and that he wants u to take better care of urself!! yeonjun doesn’t want u to be hurting urself and neglecting urself because of school, he’ll be snuggling into u and tells u that he’ll be up to make u breakfast in the morning .. this boy is a saint!!! he will do anything and everything to make u feel good & keep u happy, he wants to see u and hear u always be lively 🥺 yeonjun does not mind picking up the slack around ur place, he just wants u to be healthy rly that’s all

soobin will ask u like .. can we go on a date?? later?? :] baby hasn’t seen u for the past week so he rllyyy wants to see u, but ofc he receives a no bc ur too busy?? so he’s like oh ok, i can just come over??? and ur like, no i’m busy i don’t want anyone over rn so soobin won’t accept that and ur room is dark asf, as well as the fact the house is a literal mess and not clean at all?? ur skimming thru ur books quickly, as if ur life depended on it which he presumed u thought that .. he’ll talk softly to u, hand on ur shoulder and presses a kiss to ur head :( ‘dont u think u should relax bub? 🥺 cmere’ ur kinda upset but u rllyyyy missed soobin and u just didn’t want to work anymore, so u supposed u could just take a moment to be with him?? ‘this is why u couldn’t come out with me?’ and u just nod softly ughh his heart would just hurt so bad 😭 rly it would, but to just hear u say u haven’t done like anything?? these past few days, cleaning, eating, laundry, or just going outside — this is not okay with him!!! he’ll order something for u & let u go take a shower/bath while he puts some of ur things in the laundry,, soobin wants u to relax and when u finish eating and close ur eyes to sleep,, he will begin on cleaning the place up 😣 he wants to take rly good care of u, the thought of u unhappy or sick and whatnot it literally hurts him to think of that, especially bc of school??? soobin hates school more than ever now

beomgyu will be coming over for his twice a week meet-up and he’s used to ur half clean half dirty place, but ur apartment is spotless?? there’s nothing in the sink, no food wrappers nada, no stray clothes on the ground so he’s like 🤨 something is wrong. then he remembers it’s time for exams and such + the added on school work and extra time spent studying??? like wtf??? beomgyu will find u on the bed, ur eyes are so tired and he can’t act like he hasn’t seen u like this before .. he’s seen this a few times - u disappear and u hole urself at ur place, beomgyu needing to talk u down and get u to come and rest. it pains him to see u so upset over being the perfect student, he could not care if u were as dumb as dirt (he appreciate the smarts too) but he thinks ur a pretty great student!!! gyu will pull u away from the screen and give u the tightest hug, which will probably lead to tears on ur part and he’ll pull u back on the bed. he already presumed u hadn’t ate or done anything for the week, so he already came prepared??? duh?? beomgyu know he can’t feel what you’re feeling or like help u thru all the rough patches, but u bet ur ass he will try his hardest to help u feel better or at least get u out of bed!!! he’ll talk for awhile, listen for the most part, and then gyu puts away everything so he can lay down on the bed without the stray papers and books poking him 🧍

taehyun is kinda used to it, he just seems like he wants to hear allll about u, the good and the bad and he is always checking up on you. he’ll know before hand about school and after a few days (he doesn’t wanna bother u he knows u like ur space sometimes and the last thing he would wanna do is interrupt ur zen mode during school cause he’d hate it if someone did that to him too) taehyun knows it’s time for him to go over to your house. u live in dorms with a friend, but it’s pretty empty most of the time and the house is cluttered but it’s usually like that,, however ur room is just .. a mess. he has to stop himself from thinking like wow this is bad, taehyun would never want to think bad of you — just sometimes he ponders on these small thoughts. he doesn’t interrupt u, he gives ur head a few pats before sitting on ur bed and watching u. he gets the feeling u haven’t been taking care of urself whatsoever, so he heads off to the kitchen for a water and an apple, very simple which taehyun doesn’t think you would refuse. when he deems its time to rest only five minutes later, there’s the whines because u don’t want to but taehyun insists. u can always finish tomorrow, or in a few hours if u be quiet .. u might cry or just stay silent, whatever it is — he’ll lay there quietly with you and he’ll just toy with your baby hairs before his hand rests on ur cheek, giving you a kiss that makes really anything feel better .. it’s all temporary because taehyun knows there definitely will be more tests and stress in the future, but he always has time in order to help u out.

huening kai 😭 well for starters, idk i feel like he’d be just a smidge sad that u didn’t tell him about these things .. but nonetheless he is over in a heart beat upon your phone call!! well he actually stays on the line the whole time for u, mostly because hyuka knows how nervous u are and he just wants u to not be alone :(( he has been there for a few anxiety attacks + he knows the feelings of stress from school all too well, so he wants to go out of his way to do these things for you. he’ll be so quick to come to u inside, asking silenty if u want to be touched or just left alone :( at that point ur heaving and huening kai is kind of petrified to leave u alone, so he just gets water and turns on the fan before coming back and sits there before easing into a hug, he can quite literally feeling ur heart nearly beating out of ur chest, but ur arms weakly wrap around him and huening kai is just like 🥺 because yes u r very cute but he feels awful for u!!! he’ll share a few words, mumbling to u and rubbing ur back because obviously u won’t go bounce back immediately but he treats u like u hung the moon!!!!!!! as for the fact he knows u haven’t done anything, the first evidence being yes your oily hair, hyuka is more comfortable with staying there until u fall asleep & then he’ll sneak off to make u something in the kitchen to make u something and then come to wake u up, it might be very simple like ramen 😭 but he puts all the effort and knowledge he has to make u happy

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hopelesshawks · 3 years

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Telling the full story from this ask because it’s such a meme and like I feel a little bad for this poor bastard but also it makes me laugh

Ok SO the story of how I accepted someone’s frankly ill timed prom-posal and then rescinded my acceptance to go with someone else 😗✌🏾

Set the scene it’s my senior year of high school. My school was dumb so prom was at the end of the year, literally the same week of graduation. Like classes/finals end and the following Monday is prom and graduation is the Wednesday after that. This means that prom-posal season is smack dab in the middle of AP season and the run up to finals season. I’m taking like 4 different AP classes and an advanced math class that is kicking my shit in and if my try hard ass wants to keep my gpa up I can’t afford to miss part of that class.

It’s just my luck that one of my AP exams is in the morning and finishes right at the start of said math class so I finish taking the AP and I am booking it to my locker. I get there, throw open my locker door, and vaguely notice a bouquet inside that was definitely not there before. My dumb ass is so locked into “gotta get to math class” mode tho that I shrug that shit off, throw my backpack on, slam the door shut, and am literally about to fuckin sprint to my class on the second floor when my ex best friend’s ex boyfriend that I used to hang out with a lot before and while they were dating but hadn’t in awhile stops me by calling out my name and pointing to my locker.

Now in my defense, I wasn’t popular with the guys back in high school or anything and frankly by the time I graduated I had one (1) friend only so forgive me for being oblivious but I looked this poor bastard dead in the eye, still 100% thinking about how I’m late for class and said “oh the flowers? Yea I have no idea what that’s about,” anD THEN TURNED AROUND TO RUN TO CLASS. Poor guy had to be like “No, {name}” and I think he had to full on catch my arm to get me to stop and turn around again and he looks pointedly at my locker. So I look at my locker, confused as fuck.

Then I look back at him.

Then back at my locker.

And then it clicks.

Suddenly it’s Panic! at the Senior Hallway because I was not expecting this and I am late for math and my anxiety is spiking because I’m potentially missing important information for the final and also oh no he’s expecting an answer. And I’m literally standing there, processing, deer in the headlights no thoughts, head empty only ✨anxiety✨ so like an idiot who still hasn’t fully process what’s happening I say “sure” and then immediately fuckin sprint to class.

I rush into math class, late, teacher has already started doing his thing, sit down next to my best guy friend since freshman year just ✨processing✨ like I’m out of breath from sprinting and still visibly loading the interaction that had just occurred so my friend is like “What happened? You good?” and I’m like “I’m pretty sure {name redacted} just asked me to prom”

“What?”

“Yea….”

“What did you say?”

“I panicked and said yes 😀”

Silence.

We should be taking notes but now we are both ✨processing✨

My friend turns to me and he’s like “So I was kind of planning to ask you to prom and like obviously I’ll still do the thing I had planned but I guess this is also me asking you?”

And because that is indeed the understanding I also had of what my prom situation would prolly be like I was like “Yea I figured, I will talk to {name redacted} 😬”

And that’s how I ended up having to pull him aside after school to explain to {name redacted} that he caught me off guard and actually no I won’t be attending prom with him 😗✌🏾

Me and my guy friend had a great time though so there’s that lmao

#idk why this ended up sounding like I was writing fanfic #but this is unfortunately a real event that happened to me #because I have indeed always been a chaotic mess #hawkstalks

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carters-coffee · 3 years

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Imagine giving Clair a break from work

Word Count: 1,389

Notes: Nsfw warning for this, 18+ only. I've been wanting to write for Clair for awhile and I feel kindaaa bad the first thing I write for her is shameless smut but not too bad XD also HUGE thanks to my friend @sapphichellie for drafting the first half of this otherwise there prolly would've been like 2k words of emotional buildup before anything actually happened and I prolly wouldn't have finished the spicy part.

Okiedokie here it is

****

You open the door to the study slowly, a bowl of fresh strawberries in your hand. Clair is sitting in the chair at her desk. It's littered with sheets of paper, preserved bug samples, and books opened up to diagrams and thesis on things like insect anatomy and species differentiation. She's pouring over one such book now, and you can tell by the furrow of her brow that she's completely engrossed in what she's doing.

"Hi, baby." You say softly. "I brought you a snack."

She smiles and hums her thanks, not tearing her eyes away from the book. You move further into the room.

"Can't you take a small break?" You ask, finding a space for the bowl amid the clutter and planting yourself on the footstool next to her.

"No, sorry darling. I've got to finish this, no time for breaks..." She trails off, speaking in that airy, distracted tone she always gets when she's focused on a project.

"But don't you want some strawberries?" You ask. "They're fresh from the garden, I just picked them."

She still doesn't look up, even when you lightly nudge the bowl towards her.

"Mmh, maybe later..." She adjusts her glasses and scribbles a note in the journal she has laying next to the book.

In all honesty, you didn't come just to bother her with strawberries. For the past few weeks she's been working late every night, often only leaving her study and collapsing into bed next to you when she could no longer write a coherent sentence. You missed spending time with her, and she deserved a chance to relax.

And you had something in mind she hadn't received for awhile.

You get up from the stool and move behind her, working your fingers into her shoulders. You're surprised at how tense they are - must be the result of sitting hunched over a desk for so long - and as her muscles slowly loosen under your touch, accompanied by a pleased groan from her, you start removing the light yellow cardigan she's wearing, gently tossing it to the side.

You notice she's wearing one of your favorite sundresses of hers, and you start peppering soft kisses across her shoulders, running one of your hands down her body to her thigh and rubbing slowly while the other still massages her shoulder.

"Clair, please come to bed. I've missed you." You move your kisses up to her neck, now sucking slightly.

She only hesitates for a moment before protesting. "Really, baby, I've got to get this done." She moves her shoulder up to block you and brushes your hands away.

You scoff, offended that she would choose her work over you. You have one last thing to try, the only way of getting her attention at this point. You're sure it will work, it never failed to make her melt in your hands.

You drop to your knees, moving under the table to where her legs were. Grabbing her by the knees, you push her legs apart.

"Baby, what are you doing?" She says, leaning away from the desk to look down at you. You move your hand under her dress and start rubbing the outside of her underwear, biting your lip and looking up at her through your lashes for the full effect. She moans softly, gripping the desk and rising her hips to your touch.

"Just let me take care of you, Clair." You hook your fingers into the hem of her underwear, pulling them down, and she lifts her hips to help you. Then you grab her and pull her to the edge of the seat, your intentions now clear as your breath graces her core. She's not wet yet, but you can tell how badly she wants you by the way she spreads her legs a little wider, her breathing uneven.

You place a feather light kiss on the sensitive skin where her thigh joins her body. "Do you remember the last time I touched you like this?" You murmur.

"Mhm. Last... last month."

"Last month." You repeat. "Such a long time." You let your lips barely brush her folds as you move to kiss the same place on the other side. "But you remember how good it felt, don't you?"

You receive a jerky nod in response, and she moves one of her hands down to lace her fingers with yours.

"Do you remember the way you turned to putty in my hands? How relaxed you were?" You ask as you press kisses along the line of her lips, purposely not spreading them apart just yet. "I wanna make you feel like that again, Clair."

You finally use your tongue to spread her lips apart, licking from the base of her entrance to the tip of her clit. The motion is slow and possessive, your tongue pressed flat and firm against her. Her fingers tighten around yours and her hips buck up as she lets out a noise of pleasure somewhere between a whimper and a moan. You did the same thing again, this time letting your tongue flick teasingly inside her entrance.

"Oh, please." She moans, burying her other hand in your hair and pulling you closer. Her nails scrape the back of your scalp slightly, sending tingles erupting down your spine.

"Mm... please what?" You ask, going back to kissing the now exposed pink flesh.

"Your-your tongue. Inside me, please, baby."

Her begging makes heat rush to your stomach, and you press one more soft kiss to her clit before dipping your tongue completely inside her, swirling it around. The taste of her explodes in your mouth, sweet and warm, and you feel her thighs tense under your fingers as she clenches around you, letting out a sigh of relief. You begin pumping your tongue in and out and she falls back against the chair, eyes closed in pleasure.

"Look at me, honey." You say, removing your tongue to swirl it around her clit. Her eyes snap open and she gazes down at you, hips bucking into your mouth. The look of pure pleasure on her face makes the heat in your stomach even more intense, turning to a hot coil, and you continue alternating between her clit and fucking her with your tongue, wanting to make the pleasure as sweet and slow as you can. She whines and squirms in your grasp, her pants and whimpers of your name egging you on. Every time she closes her eyes you dig your nails slightly into the soft skin on the inside of her thighs, reminding her to keep looking at you. Her small thrusts become strong, then messy as she gets closer to her orgasm.

"I'm about to... come.." She finally gasps out, wrapping her legs around you. Her heels dig into the small of your back. You only hum in response, the vibration sending a shudder through her body.

You feel it the moment her orgasm washes over her, in the way she clenches around your tongue as her juices flow into your mouth. Her hand untangles itself from yours, joining the other in your hair to press you harder against her while her hips rut into your face, her thighs spasming as you keep them forced open. Her moans of bliss are music to your ears, sending waves of pleasure through you while she rides out her orgasm.

When its over, you keep dragging your tongue through her folds, wanting to get every last drop of her arousal before she pushes you away from the over stimulation. Then you climb up into the chair, straddling her and capturing her in a deep kiss before either of you could catch your breath.

You pull away, taking in her post-orgasmic appearance. Her face and chest are flushed pink, her glasses are a little askew and she's panting slightly, her chest rising and falling with the motion. You fix her glasses and run your thumbs soothingly over her cheeks.

"How was it?" You ask.

"I may have to take breaks a little more often." She says breathlessly. You laugh and kiss her again.

"Will you please come to bed, now?" You murmur against her lips. At her nod, you take her hand and lead her to the bedroom where you two spend the rest of the night.

****

I’m not putting a tag list this time coz i dont wanna accidentally tag someone underage.

#clair spivet #clair spivet imagine #clair spivet x reader #n ;)#the ending feels rushed but we gon ignore that

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ninegirl · 3 years

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transcribed almost all of big q and jack manifold’s conversation yesterday for a comic so i figured someone else might want it:

Q: ho-how you doing man? It's been awhile. How's it-- the hotel buisness going?

J: yeah, great, yeah yeah yeah no, big-- big developments today, weirdly.

(walking along the prime path)

Q: whaddyou mean? Didja get, didja get new customers? Whatssa.. Whatssa

J: no, no, no new customers, no, no

Q: well, I mean, no one's standing in your way right now, tommy's jailed, so, that shouldn't be an issue

J: ah yeah, I mean, that yeah! There..

Q: I don't even know when he's gonna get out, so anyways, the hotel… I'm thinking, and im, and im, um, thinking of writing up a draft… of like, our, contract and everything…

J: right

Q: you know, kinda, kinda give it a go, and… what is THIS? What is this?

J: oh mc, oh McDonald's.

Q: whooooo that's NICE

J: yeah, I'm actually gonna… dyou wanna burger? I feel like you'll, you'll wanna burger.

Q: no… I don’t.. Im on a diet. Im eating healthy right now.

J: well, im gonna, immona grab a few patties

Q: oh really?

J: yeahh yeah you know

Q: kay

J: umm….

Q: alright!

Q: you know what? Actually, you know what? I've decided that I do want, I do want a burger.

J: you do wanna burger

Q: (after walking in) oh… ho HOO a whole menu and everything! Nice.

J: yeah.. Yeah they got, um,

Q: I, I still, does it say.. Does it say the calories or something? It doesn't say no callories, or

J: uh salad, (Changes??)

Q: yeah, this would be bad for buisness if it was in front of, in front of your hotel. …(seeing the sign) mc puffy's?

J: oh, oh yeah, no, I guess its called McPuffy's. uh, ah. Uh

Q: mmm. mmhmm

J: news to me.

Q: yyyyup! Alright.

J: yeah!

Q: (walking out) lets go, uh, take a trip around your hotel! I wanna take a quick look at it

J: yeah… no, yeah yeah yeah, feel free! Yeah, you know. It. Looks like it's gonna be mine for a while now, so

Q: really?

J: yeah.

Q: is it um, I ah hmm, (jumbled word like noises) what did tommy do, is he gonna stay in prison for longer?

J: no that's. yes

Q: I'm assuming he is--

J: no, no, ah,

Q: whatddyou mean, a while? If he's gonna be in there, I mean…

(they walk into the hotel)

J: I, he's, yes--

Q: you're gonna have no issues with the buisness.

J: I, no, no he's not

Q: (reading off a sign) .. Don't take anything, don’t till it is finished.. However if you want please deposit items? You're running a charity, Jack manifold?

J: no, this is the, this is some..

Q: that's-- that's actually, that's very smart, that's actually very smart of you to do, if you run a charity, but in reality, that money's going towards your buisness…

J: (walking back outside the hotel to where big q is) that's- that's not what that-- but. L-look, look. No quackity, no no, Tommy-- tommy isn't in there. Right--right now

Q: (quietish) whaddyou mean? What d'you mean, 'he's not in there right now'? (louder) OHHHHH you're such an idiot! (walking down the prime path) What're you doing standing here! Go-- go fix that up!

Q: he's gonna come back here-- any second now--

J: no… no…

Q: --and he's gonna try to take this damn hotel back

J: no--- no… I-- I don’t think he's gonna try…

Q: what're you doing? You're just standing there!

J: No,

Q: where is he?

J: I don't think he's gonna--

Q: do you know where he is?

J: no, no, he's-- yeah, he's…. I-- I can take a guess as to--

Q: ...(i think he says something before this, but i can’t hear anything) Still find him. You know what? You know what, given that you and I have partnered up with this buisness, I could, I could prolly go talk to him. I could prolly go talk to him.

J: I think you might struggle…

Q: and we can strike a deal… we can just strike a deal… and we can let him make you keep it. I think with the right wording-- tommy's a very open person, I think --and I don’t know what happened in the prison, but he might be a little more lenient, you know? A little more understanding… about it all.

J: no he's-- I don't think its gonna be an issue, big q, I don't think we're gonna argue with it.

Q: …whaddyou mean?

J: quackity, he…

Q: of course it's gonna be an issue, do you know fucking tommy? Dyou know what fucking tommy's like?

J: yeah, I know--

Q: he's gonna fucking come back here, he's gonna want his shit back, and you're gonna be in deep trouble. And that's gonna be bad for my buisness and yours, by the way.

J: no , I don't think we're gonna-- look, quackity, he's not in prison because he never made it out. (pause) he, didn't leave.

Q: what!? (said in a simmilar tone to technoblade’s ‘heh’s)

J: I don’t think he's… him and dream got in, in a fight. And, I dunno, I dunno what happened, but, he didn't make it

Q: whaddyou mean he didn't make it, you mean like, you mean like…

J: I mean like, he fought dream, and he didn't, he didn't win

*Thunder in the background*

Q: (way quieter than usual and also kind of on the edge of tears? Not quite sure cause i couldn’t see his face, but) (looks around, at the ground, then back to jack) what-- what dyou mean?

J: I mean , I mean, I mean like

Q: what dyou mean?

J: like he's dead. He- he's dead, Q, dream took his last life.

(long pause. Thunder)

Q: …. (sounding super small, especially for big q) what?

J: yeah. I didn't really want to-- to have to tell you,-- but someone was gonna have to

Q: … he's dead?

J: yeah he's, he's dead.

Q: what?.... (walks a bit up the path. Then stops to look back at jack).. When… when was this?

J: like, maybe, an hour ago, two hours ago…

Q: this was today?

J: yeah, no today he, I dunno he-- he was in there with dream… I dunno what happened… sam… I dunno. He said he made a mistake… ‘n, next thing you know… yeah. He- he- he's gone.

(thunder)

Q: tommy's just… tommy's just dead then?

J: yeah, pre-- yeah pretty much. Well, no, not pretty much, act-- exactly, yeah, no, he's dead.

Q: (sniffles or something, like, sad noises he’s making sad noises) is… is that it?

J: well, I… guess

Q: is that it for tommy? He's gone? Wh… wh…. Wai… what was sam doing? Why didn't--

J: I don't know

Q: I thought he was--how did dream even kill him?

J: I don't know! I, I dunno, we asked him!

Q: they have, they have the uh, the (hits jack) the hitting fatigue thing! Wha--what- what even happened?

J: I don’t, I don’t even know I-I-I, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know! I wasn't there, I wasn't there. I-I-I spoke to sam afterwards, but, but not for very long, I dunno what he said, he spoke to tubbo and ranboo a little bit more, maybe they know, but I don't, I don’t know

J: all I heard was sam say that he was, he was gone

Q: mm. … um… so… he's just gone…

J: yeah. Yeah… nah… yeah.

Q: mm.

J: no, im sorry man. No, I didn't really wanna… be the one.. But. You know, someone was gonna have to.

Q: well… (clears his throat) (laughs but sad, sighs).. Well. (looks at the hotel)

J: yeah.. Yeah!

Q: (a bit louder, but not nearly back to normal) It's time to get back to work then.

J: yeah, that's what I've been, that's what I've been doing. I've been getting some stuff… we… got a lot to do!

Q: Alright! (clears throat) (sounding like he's trying to sound upbeat, but he's not totally feeling it) alright, get to it jack!

J: yeah, no, I'll

Q: And I'll get to my buisness. Please don't head west

J: I wont--I wont head west, I'll head… east.

Q: I don’t wanna have to escort you out again, alright?

J: it's, it's, it's all good, it's all good

Q: Aright! If you need anything, uh, just let me know, and…

J: yeah, and the same goes for you

Q: and, jack. Don’t let this… don't let this affect buisness.

J:… it wont. It wont. If, if anything, it'll-- it'lls for the best. It's for the best.

Q: the train doesn’t stop.

J: no. it only goes faster.

Q: okay.

J: okay

(At about the same time)

J: alright!

Q: Alright!

J: bye, take care

Q: bye!

J: (lets out a breath)

#dream smp #dsmp #dsmp spoilers #quackity #jack manifold

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midnightbedroom · 4 years

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Law of Attraction

I don’t know how else to explain it to be honest.

I feel like everything is just falling into its rightful places without having to direct them anywhere. All the firsts, all the experiences, all the love, it felt outrageously insane to feel these types of emotions that I never knew I would ever feel in my life.

It’s safe to say I’m beyond blessed with all the blessings I’ve received so far in my life. I’m thankful for what has been given to me and what is yet to be in store for me. I always like to think of what is there to come rather than focusing on the present. Because once we find ourselves stuck in the now, we forget to treasure everything else coming for us.

Recently, I’ve been doing both: treasuring the future and reminiscing the past.

Presley just had came by from Vegas to see me for the first time, and never has anyone done that for me before. Imagine having someone who’s as dedicated to travel more than two hundred miles to see you. Yeah, that’s him. Scratch that off his Rice Purity Test score. I can’t believe he actually pulled through. Throughout all the complications and obstacles we faced through, it was all worth it after the first hug we shared, which I should say, was completely wholesome. I would never forget the feeling I got from that hug. I was lost, but in the same time, found. He made me feel things that I couldn’t even comprehend myself, which was insane. He let me love, again. I never thought I would find this feeling but with such a deeper meaning into it.

We spent the first night chilling in the old park, warming each other up. I felt so safe in his arms. Right then at that moment, nothing else mattered, just us two. We talked for a while, shared the first puff from the Sour Apple, and just genuinely enjoyed the moment as it lasted. I felt beyond satisfied. I gave him a back massage, and we were just hanging onto each other as if our lives meant on it. Although after a long day, we both managed to get some food from Vallarta’s to eat. I finally shared a box of Christian Fries, and man did that hit differently. It tasted better than it did the few other times I’ve eaten it.

After that share of fries and puff sessions in the bathroom, we decided to go back to the new park, and that’s when we shared our first kiss. What a hungry, careful, obnoxious, and purest moment it was. It was everything. I loved how we read each other’s wavelength so perfectly. No words are needed to be exchanged; we knew exactly how the other felt.

After that long session, he had to leave, but I wasn’t scared or mad. I knew that I was actually going to see him again the next day.

I woke up and got ready for our day. I left with his gifts and settled in the Lyft car. When finally reaching the AirBNB they were staying in, I was actually amazed on how big the place was. It had that vintage feel. I saw him standing on the side of the road, waiting for me. My heart warmed. We drove up to the drive way and I met his family. I was surprised on how openly they welcomed me.

We exchanged gifts inside, but regardless of the amount of gifts he got me, I treasured being with him the most. Just spending some time with him made my entire year. It felt like that was the only missing thing I’ve been trying to pursue.

They took us to a brunch place nearby, and man we ate too little. I felt bad because I didn’t really have an appetite in the morning. Then, we came to a consensus on whether we should stay in or leave to go to LA with his family. We both decided to stay in. And it was the best decision ever.

We did what all couples would do if they’re alone in a house. Cuddle. Hah, gottem. Yeah we did other stuff too, we’ll get there. We shared a glass of wine, and found our way to his bed. And I’ve never felt a bed that comfortable until I laid my body on it next to him. I felt like we’ve connected more than we already have. It was amazing. I knew that feeling couldn’t be reciprocated, so I treasured it as much as I possibly can.

Leading up to that point, we went at it. Like hard. It was fucking mind blowing holy shit. I let him do it twice. T W I C E. Who the fuck??? I’ve never let anyone do that, let alone let them do it twice. It was crazy. Who the fuck am I to let that happen??? But then again, after all that I had no regrets. I enjoyed every moment of it.

I took him to my work and got him a Mango Snowbowl and my two specialty taiyakis: Meat Lover’s and an Oreo S’more. I enjoyed it more than all the times I’ve worked there with free shit. Seeing his reaction in real life and sharing the same food I eat is way different than just showing him how to make it.

And, oh yeah, I destroyed him in pool. Surprising? Yeah, kinda, just a little bit. I didn’t really wanna show off, but I knew my pool ways. I remember trying that geometry shit and the split and that shit was s p i c y. That was my first time pulling dumb shit like that off, and I’m surprised it did pull through. Kinda reminded me of the time when I destroyed Owwen and broke his pride for a while. Good times.

Oh god, don’t remind me. The walk to Michael’s. That bitch took so long. We came all the way from PetCo to Michael’s, and I could NOT fucking do it. I was in my heels too jeez. We got nothing out of it, so we just picked up my stuff and left to go to the park until we said our goodbyes for our early day tomorrow.

And heck, it was early.

Imagine getting up at 5am during break.

I left and packed all my shit up surprisingly that early. I left at six and got to his house around 6:50am. He woke up all of a sudden as I entered his room. I went to cuddle with him, and everything else was just set in place. The moment was perfect. Everything was just so pure. We tried to watch the sunset together, and lead off to going for an early morning session. I wish we could do that everyday if I’m going to be perfectly honest with you.

After it though, he showered and I just fell asleep on his bed countless times. We would always find ourselves cuddling right after, which was heart warming. I love the feeling of being next to him, or just by simply being in his arms. I felt like I was safe and warm without needing to worry about anything at all. I loved it.

We went to go get ramen to my go to place in Tajima, and fuck, again, that shit tasted so much better compared to the times I’ve been there. We walked to Up2You, and regardless of how full we are, we still managed to eat a whole ass loaf of toasted bread. That shit was amazing.

Even if our plans were a bit unorganized, we still got to Balboa and exchanged gifts. That was definitely a moment I can never forget. Being in a place filled with strangers and not giving a fuck about a single thing - that. THAT’s what mean.

I gave him a nightlight jar, a painted treasure box, and a song. He gave me a bracelet with all our inside jokes and words I attempt to use as my comebacks. I can’t believe he actually remembered all this stuff just for me. I’m in complete utter awe.

Although that moment was short, I treasured it a lot. We shared a Bird back and damn was that an experience. Imagine traveling 2 miles in 5 mins, that’s insane. We drove to Fashion Valley and shopped a little, resulting to two matching caps, a beanie, and my first ever black bucket hat.

We somehow found our way to Little Italy and got a black truffle lasagna and Extraordinary Desserts. It was really fulfilling, but not so much to my liking - you’ll understand it later. We walked around, got fooled by a stranger that there’s an ATM down the street, then drove back to the AirBNB.

The ride home, we both passed out on each other, me being the first. I felt like I was just done for the day, but we just settled down and cuddled for a bit then rushed to being a kite. He and I both tried out a new cart, Forbidden Fruit, which will never be used again in my lifetime. When it hit, I was in another universe. I couldn’t feel my body, I could barely even move without putting 50% of my effort. I had no control.

With this sudden highness, I remembered to text my mom, which is honestly THE WORST FUCKING EXPERIENCE EVER. I had to settle my thoughts and say exactly what I wanted to say without sounding stupid, and it took so much out of me. I felt like the entire earth was crushing its weight against me, like damn. I was hyperventilating, and he was just supporting me. When I pressed send, a whole flush of relief just came and collapsed on me, and I felt so fucking tired.

Of course, you already know what came next. That was a whole ass fucking experience. He ripped my jean zippers, and we laughed the fuck out. I was actually so relieved in some way, I knew that was going to happen somehow. We went at it, and I couldn’t stop myself from moaning so fucking loud. He even told me to shut the fuck up three times.

And that’s when I remembered to take my pill.

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

I couldn’t open my eyes to point directly where my bag was and where my pills were. He had to go through everything just to find it. My body was numb, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe prolly, I could’ve just passed out if I wanted to. He finally found it and gave me vitamin water, and yikes that was not a good combo with my current stomach.

I felt all the built up acid churning in my stomach, and before you knew it, I threw up. Jesus the mushrooms and acid from the truffles hhhhhhhhhh.

I just felt so fucking horrible afterwards so I proceed to sleep. lmfao.

Somehow, I found myself on him, naked, cuddled up, holding hands with the sunrise upon us. He woke up next to me, but we still passed out after a awhile. When we actually woke up for real this time, we washed up and took a shower. Yardy know what we did in the shower; something I never done ever for the first time. Shower sex. Imagine cumming inside for the third time but in the shower type beat.

We finished up and packed the rest of our stuff then made our way out.

Then, I knew that it was our few moment actually together, and it kinda already drained me right then. He called my Lyft, and we said our goodbyes. I drove away and watched his frame grow smaller and smaller as the the distance between us grew.

I felt broken.

I never actually been with a guy four days straight in a row, and this shit slapped me real hard. I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t know what to do either. I felt immensely lost. The Lyft driver’s starting conversations didn’t help as much either.

I wanted to make a separate post of how I actually felt after. But for now, that was my first experience with my future husband.

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you-are-worth-the-wait · 3 years

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i don’t mean to ruin our convos by asking you about your situation. the only reason why it tends to come up when we actually have decent lengthy convos is because the few moments when we can have that time to ourselves, that’s when i feel as closest to the “real me” and i realize how different i am when comparing my now usual self as compared to when i’m talking with you. that’s when and why it hits me the hardest in realizing and wondering how are we not together. i know and can think of all the reasons why we aren’t together and i understand that it’s not easy. i can also rationalize all the reasons why we should be together.

the extended convo we had that morning was prolly one of the most genuine convos i’ve had with you in a long time. and it wasn’t about the sex topic and what not, it’s the fact that i was able to connect with you that way. i haven’t felt that in a long time. even towards the end when things got “real”. i want those convos too.

is this showing/admitting a sign of weakness? i know i’m not like this and i know i’m a lot more resilient than this. i guess it’s tough when i feel as strongly as i do for you and most every fiber in my being tells me that we belong together but no matter how hard i try or what i do...it’s not enough. i’m not trying to make you love me because i know you do. i’m not trying to win your heart because i know i have. i’m not trying to woo or impress you because i’d like to think i have an idea of what i mean to you as it is mirrored as what you mean to me. And I get the history of you two. But like you said, there is a difference of loving someone and being in love with someone. I understand the sentiments of what he may mean to your niece and extended family. And it’s not like they still can’t feel that sentiment about him. But again, is their “disappointment” worth your happiness? I mean, don’t you think they’d want you to be happy as well? And on the other side, do you think they would be incapable of loving and accepting me the way you have? Look at the few times I hung out with your niece. Do you think that’s just a fleeting thing or an act? The disappointment you speak of with her and them would not last for the rest of your life Love. it would only last as long as you allow it to last. You speak of disappointment now but think of it from their view. If your family sees how unhappy you are, do you think when they eventually see that that they will be “okay” if you admit to them that you were scared of their disappointment in you and that’s why you stayed in the relationship that clearly was not working? do you think for even a moment that if you were to be truthful to them about how you feel that they would say, “we understand what you are saying and realize you are not happy but stay with him for our sake.”? And your niece. When she gets older and eventually will see the sadness in your eyes, do you think she’ll understand and accept that “reason”? She’ll know how much you love her and how you only want the best for her. When she gets old enough to see and know that what you have with him isn’t genuine, how do you think she will react? I’m sure she will say that she would only want what’s best for you as you would for her. do you think she will accept your “sacrifice” of being unhappy just so you wouldn’t have disappointed her now? I honestly don’t think anyone would sacrifice your happiness with the logic and reasoning of saying, “I’m glad you stayed in that relationship for me/us. “

take me for example. i went to school for my parents, not for myself. i never saw myself being a nurse. i wanted to be a teacher. all i wanted to do was go into a profession where i felt i could have an impact in someone’s life and help guide them for the better. i didn’t care about money. i didn’t care about the accolades. all i wanted was a life where i could find happiness and satisfaction in what i was doing. but my parents “controlled” me. they guilted me and never made me forget that they had to sacrifice my brother’s education just for me. they were set on me being a doctor. not once did they ever support my decision or desire to be a teacher. sure they supported the idea. they supported it by saying, “once you become a doctor, then you can become a teacher or whatever you wanted to be.” i hated college. i hated school. graduating with a degree was a means to an end. i thought that if i could somehow make them happy by getting a degree, they would stop guilting me, and maybe get off my back to actually live a decent life. that’s when i got my first anxiety attack and multiple there after. i was working at walgreens and in between helping customers at night, i was studying for my tests or catching up on my readings. i don’t think i fully put the connection together until later in life. but college the first time around messed me up big time. my anxiety attacks crippled me to the point where i told you that i needed ativan to control my breathing. while driving home from school my breathing would get irregular, i’d start to see “stars”, i’d feel light headed. it took all my strength focus and pop a pill in my mouth in order to calm myself down. i didn’t get addicted to the med but i did get dependent on it. i told you so much so that even if i was going to school or work, if i forgot my meds, i’d turn around and go back home, even at the risk of being late. i no longer went to school for myself. i went to school and finished as a means to an end just for them. a part of me knew that i was getting a degree in something that i would never use because i hated the path i was on.

at length, when i finally graduated, and went on with life and jobs that had nothing to do with my degree, i can understand why they would get angry and frustrated. one night it came to a head in where they got pissed at me said flat out how i was doing nothing with my life and how i had a degree in biology and was doing absolutely nothing with it. it did come to a head and i then said that i did all that i did in school for them. i took bio/science classes for them. i graduated with a bio degree for them. i did all i did for them and they turned around and threw it in my face. they flat out said that i didn’t do anything for them. that i went to school for myself. that’s when i lost it. i told them that all they ever said and told me that i had to be a doctor. they never even entertained another profession for me. i told them for the longest time i wanted to be a teacher. i told them how i didn’t care if i had to live a modest life where i may even have to struggle. at least i’d be living a life that i was happy with. i told them so many times how i used the argument of what good is money if i get up every single day hating what i’m doing? wouldn’t it make more sense to look forward to waking up and living a life that makes you happy, even if i’m not the richest person in the world. but i told them how they constantly said that i’d be sorry if i chose that path. that i’d amount to nothing. that teaching would be a dead end job. what was i supposed to do with that? the worst part of that night is when my dad said that i couldn’t blame them for the choices i made. that i had made them for myself. i told them that i had done it for them. and my mom, who doesn’t really speak for herself, piggy backed on what my dad was saying, laughed and scoffed, and told me how i was i was foolish into thinking that i was doing it all for them. they told me not to put that on them. my world came crashing down on me and that’s a point where i realized that i had wasted my life. all that time, thinking that what i was doing was all for them. that they were the reason why i dragged myself out of bed every day to go to a class i hated in order to finish with a degree that i had no idea what i was going to do with. knowing that i had numerous conversations in where i said i didn’t like or want the path they chose for me but they pushed and wouldn’t support me if i didn’t follow that path. and then when i got to the point where i laid it all out there in that i did it all for them, they threw it back at me and said i was a failure on my own. i think that night, they were in too deep and knew that what i was saying was true but i think they were too proud to back down and accept that they did push me into something i clearly didn’t want. so instead of accepting some of the fault, they chose to make it where they had nothing to do with me having amounted to nothing at that point in my life.

i know i’ve told you this story before and maybe in bits and pieces but i’ve never gone into detail about how in that moment and for awhile, all i could think about was the years and my life that i “wasted” thinking that i was doing something “good” for someone to only be told that that’s not the way it happened. if things go bad and people find out that you stayed in the relationship fearing their disappointment, do you think they will accept that and carry that same view as you with humility? as much as your extended family and your niece love you, i don’t think they’d ever want that put on them. i’ve always said i’d learn my lessons one way or another. either the easy way by listening and learning from others or the hard way by experiencing it for themselves. let this be an “easy” lesson for you that you learn from the lesson i learned the hard way. as selfless as we both are, there has to be a point or line where you have to choose to live your life for yourself and not for others.

I honestly can’t see anyone saying “you made the wrong choice” if you were to choose me. You and I wouldn’t be “wrong”. We’d just be different. And who’s to say that that “different” wouldn’t be better? I may not be him but if they only saw a fraction of what you and i have. if they see how happy i make you and we make each other. if we allowed them to see us for who we are when we look into each other’s eyes. to see you happy. isn’t that what it’s all about? you fear their disappointment but is it so wrong or inconceivably possible that may end up liking me, accepting me, and possibly even loving me...even more? i mean...It happened with you...

you tell me how lying to him was hard for the last couple of years and i know it was but we both know that we’d do it all again the exact same way. truth...the only reason why stopped was because we got caught. i know it doesn’t excuse what we did. but imagine lying to him, your family, your niece, and yourself for possibly the rest of your life. Do you think they want that for you? Do you want that for yourself?

*sigh* I’m not here to make you feel bad and I’m not here to argue with you. I’m only trying to look out for you. You are seeing and thinking about things the way you know to see and rationalize them. But I just want you to know that there may be other views and aspects you may not have considered. You say that sometimes within all my rambles I say things that give you pause in thought. I feel that maybe this may be one of those times or at least I hope it is. Again, I don’t want you to think I’m running your life or making your choices. Like you said, this isn’t easy and you are right. And if you are trying to consider all angles, I want to make sure that you do consider “all” angles and aspects. I’m not doing this to be argumentative. I’m doing this because, unlike others who don’t have privy to know the truth and you yourself in where sometimes you may still not be able to see certain things since it’s tougher when you are actually in it. I’m only looking out for you and your best interest. I’m prolly more in tune with “all” of it though because I’m more invested in you than they may be. yes, they are your family but i know and feel that you and i have a connection that is deeper than “family” and the truth is, we haven’t even allowed ourselves to “love” each other the way we both know we are capable of. i’m not saying that i trump them or am better than them in any way. you know that’s not it. i’m just saying, when it comes to your mind, heart, and all that encompasses who you are, i feel that if anyone were to hold your hand and you’d be able to put all your faith, trust, safety, and love into...it would be my hand that you would hold on to, it would be my eyes that you focus on, and it would be my words that you not only hear but actually listen to and believe in.

after all that, here’s my randomness...i read the sentence but i can’t tell which angle it’s coming from. (anticipating for you to limit test the use of the word “please”). i have an idea but would you elaborate on it. or am i overthinking the statement?

so many secrets, truths, and confession born from feelings and experiences we’ve had up to this point in our relationship. i’ve always wondered what it would be like to talk about what moments stood out for what reason.

i’ve been thinking about your NCLEX example. i see and understand it but i guess i can also see so many different interpretations of it. i have my ideas of what i see is going on along the lines oy my perspective of your life. was that the full explanation of how you see your life in comparison to the NCLEX?

are you in the camp of saying that this year can’t end soon enough or that this year is taking forever to end? i posed that question on FB but i’ve wrote so many things to you, deleted what i’ve wrote, or saved in a draft because i couldn’t bring myself to send what i wrote to you that i can’t tell what i’ve said or not said to you.

can you imagine if i posted this on FB...

i see things like this and i naturally wonder what goes through your mind during your “process”. i ask what i ask about you, your situation there, about us, and what not because i do care about you. and if you notice a trend, it seems to happen often after we’ve had an “extensive”/good “conversation”/interaction. i think its because at some point, it hits me that i’ve been talking with you for so long that it takes me to that realization that i’m in that “bubble” where time does not exists until i am conscious of it and the reason why it happens is because i’m back in that “zone” where you and i just feels so natural. that that is what i’m missing in my life. that sense of where when i’m with you, it just seems “right”. so of course i’m going to question myself and wonder why aren’t we together. it’s almost as if we both know that it’s the most natural feeling in the world for us to be together. and yet...we’re not. so yeah, i’m going to inquire what’s on your mind. the intimacy and physical aspect of our relationship i totally miss. but i also miss the comfort and security you feel when you are with me. it’s important to me because it’s important to you and the fact that you don’t have that there, that’s why i think about you the way i do.

Lily...

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raccoonsinqueen · 7 years

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My Little Princess

♚ MobFell Papyrus X Reader, it’s gonna be straight up textbook Yandere with a little Tsundere if you’re picking up what I’m throwing out that window.

♚ You befriend a tall, edgy, rich skeleton. Everything is great... Until he starts getting pushy. Now bad things are happening to you, and you don’t know why. Why is this happening? Will trusting him make it better?

♚ So I was reading some headcanons from @skelltales and there was THIS GEM. I loved it so much, I had to write it out.

♚ It’s prolly only gonna be 2 parts.

♚ Just like how Mobtale!Papyrus is more mature than Papyrus, Mobfell!Papyrus is more mature than Underfell!Papyrus.

You thought Papyrus was nice. You had thought he was nice.

The first time you met him, you were almost petrified. He was tall, unworldly tall, but you came to learn that alot of monsters were like that when you moved to this city. His features were sharp, his teeth in a constant state of scowling, and his eyelights completely diminished. He was dressed nicely, very nicely, and all black. You had imagined that he must’ve been some kind of suave businessman or lawyer.

You were wrong.

If you remembered correctly, the first time you met him he was looking for something, his gloves you think. That was the only time you had ever seen him without his gloves, and they seemed to hold great sentimental value to him. When you had asked to help, he ignored you completely, not even noticing your presence. Out of sheer defiance, you went searching with him, and you remember his eyesockets glancing toward you briefly, but nothing more after that. Finally, you found them underneath a table, out of sight for the tall skeleton, and you presented them to him with the brightest smile.

“Tada!” You presented the lovely red gloves to this ginormous skeleton. Surprisingly, they were the only splash of color added to his void, black outfit. “Were these what you were looking for?

“... MY...” He took them, the look of shock he adorned only feeding your pride. “... GLOVES.”

“They’re very lovely.” You smiled as he tugged them on, as if checking to see if they fit.

“YES, THEY ARE.” He replied, his voice filled with a strange wonderment, before he turned back to you. “I SUPPOSE I SHOULD...”

You leaned closer, a smug smile on your face, “Yes?”

“...TCH, NEVERMIND.” He turned around.

“What?” You complained, rushing in front of him. “No! Don’t tell me I worked so hard not even to get a thank you!”

“YOU’LL GET A THANK YOU WHEN YOU DESERVE ONE, LITTLE HUMAN GIRL.” He brushed passed you, but you weren’t willing to let him go so quickly.

You rushed back in front of him, your hands behind your back. “First, I’m an adult, so ‘little human girl’ isn’t going to work. Second-”

Before you could finish, you saw him demonstrate the difference between your height and his height with his gloved hands, a smirk displayed across his otherwise emotionless features. “LITTLE HUMAN GIRL.”

You ignored the way that annoyed you. “SECOND, what would I need to do to deserve a thank you if not even finding your gloves for you would do it?”

The monster held his chin in thought over this, before beginning to pull something out. It was a card. He handed it to you. “COFFEE.”

“What?” You took it with confusion.

“I WILL NOT GIVE YOU A THANK YOU, BUT I WILL GIVE YOU COFFEE. CALL ME TOMORROW MORNING WHEN YOU ARE READY. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT TIME.”

“... What?”

And that was how you two grew closer, him buying you coffee every once in awhile and you doing little things to get a reaction out of him. It came to the point that you became such good friends that he bought you coffee every morning. At first, you insisted that you pay for it at least some of the time, but he flat out refused you and could easily push you aside to pay for himself.

You felt bad, until he drove up in his beautiful black car that could put the finest sports cars of Europe to shame. And you had to walk to work!

You were a waitress. A small and simple job, but it payed the bills when people tipped well. The people were nice, your boss —albeit a little creepy— was bearable, and you loved being able to chat with customers that would come in. When Papyrus found out where you worked, he had urged you to quit your job to find a better paying one, or at least one where your boss kept his eyes to himself.

“STOP WORKING FOR THAT PERVERTED INGRATE, IT DOESN’T PAY A TENTH OF WHAT IT’S WORTH TO HAVE HIM EYEING YOU ALL DAY LONG.” His voice was cold as ice, a complete contrast to your hot coffee he bought you

“Tim?” You laughed, “He’s fine, he would never actually do anything. He’s just a little too lonely, that’s all.”

“THINKING IT IS THE FIRST STEP, Y/N!”

“Aw, Papyrus, are you worried about me?” You giggled.

“I MEAN IT.” Papyrus growled, “QUIT.”

“I’m not going to quit.” You said calmly, having dealt with his spiky personality all too much before. “I love working there. The people are kind, the pay is just enough, and I even get free lunch! If I’m happy, what should it matter the small hiccups?”

“...” Papyrus looked to the side, uncomfortably. “...NICE PEOPLE, GOOD PAY, AND FREE FOOD COULD BE AT OTHER JOBS...”

You almost laughed again, but kept it to yourself. You tugged Papyrus down and planted a kiss on his cheekbone. “I think it’s sweet that you worry so much for me.”

His normally cool expression flushed a light pinkish tone. “I DON’T-”

This time, you did laugh. “Right, right, don’t care for a little human girl... Oh! I’m gonna be late to work!” You checked your watch, “I’ll catch you later, Papyrus!”

After that, he dropped it.

Or, you thought he did.

A couple weeks later, you found your boss had lost his life fighting against a burglar. It was an independently run establishment and all the money was stolen, so that meant your work had shut down. You were broken hearted about it, but Papyrus took you out to dinner to cheer up your spirits. You thought it had been a nice gesture at the time. Despite his cold appearance, you believed he was a kind and compassionate guy underneath, even if only a little bit.

“Thank you... Papyrus.” You smiled as you poked at your lasagna. He took you out to a rather nice restaurant... it might even had been five stars. You even had to dress up nicely. Luckily, Papyrus gave you the clothes you needed, considering you didn’t own anything appropriate enough for this place. It may have been overly fancy, but he said he had an in with the owner... “I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”

“DON’T THINK A SECOND MORE OF IT.” Papyrus replied, calmly, before you noticed his eyesockets cast themselves to the floor. “YOU... LOOK NICE IN WHAT I GAVE YOU.”

“Nice is an understatement, Papyrus!” You laughed when he jumped at your positive tone. “I look gorgeous! Who knew you had such impeccable taste!”

“O-OF COURSE I HAVE IMPECCABLE TASTE-!” Papyrus cleared his throat, as if realizing his growing volume. “YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT ME IN CHARGE OF YOUR APPEARANCE AGES AGO.”

“Haha, very funny.” You rolled your eyes, before taking a bite of your dish. “Where’d you even get this anyway? Girlfriend had it lying around?”

“I DON’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.”

“...Boyfriend-?”

“I BOUGHT IT.” He interrupted, seemingly irritated. “WHEN YOU CAME TO ME WITH YOUR DAMSEL IN DISTRESS PROBLEMS, I KNEW YOU NEEDED MY ASSISTANCE, BUT I ALSO KNEW YOU COULDN’T COME HERE IN YOUR RAGS YOU CALL CLOTHES. SINCE I HAD ALREADY MADE THE RESERVATION, I DECIDED TO PICK SOMETHING THAT WOULD FIT THE AMBIENCE.”

You dropped your fork. “You... bought this for me?”

“YES, OF COURSE.” He said it like it was obvious. “I DIDN’T JUST HAVE SOMETHING THAT PERFECTLY TAILORED LYING AROUND.”

Oh geez, and it was tailored! Wait, how did he know your measurements? One question at a time... “How much was it?”

“UNIMPORTANT.”

“No, Papyrus.” You stood up, “How much was it?”

“...” He seemed to notice your distress, before he said, “MORE THAN ANYTHING YOU COULD EVER AFFORD.”

“You have to take it back!” You rushed to his side, “I can’t accept this! It’s too much! Plus the dinner and and-!”

“Y/N.” His voice washed over you like ice. “CALM DOWN. YOU’RE PANICKING.”

“Papyrus, I love you, I really do,” Papyrus twitched ever so slightly, but you ignored it. “But I just can’t accept gifts like these... I feel... guilty.”

“DON’T.” He commanded. “YOU WERE UPSET OVER SOMETHING. I FIXED IT. THIS IS NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY OVER.”

“But it’s so much-!”

“TO YOU, IT IS SO MUCH. YOU’RE POOR.” You let out a short, tense laugh at that. “BUT TO ME, IT IS LIKE... BUYING A CUP OF COFFEE. YOU WOULD BUY YOUR FRIEND A CUP OF COFFEE IF IT MEANT CHEERING THEM UP?”

“I suppose...” You looked to the side. “But-”

“THE DRESS IS UNRETURNABLE, AND YOU’VE ALREADY RECEIVED YOUR FOOD. REFUSING THEM NOW WOULD BE A SPAT TO THE FACE. YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO REFUSE A FRIEND WHO IS JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU NOW, WOULD YOU?”

Drat... He was right. You looked down, embarrassment creeping into your features. “Y-You’re right, I’m sorry... I just got so worried about you spending so much money on me. I didn’t mean to upset you or start yelling...”

“GOOD. NOW WHAT DO YOU SAY FOR THE NICE GIFTS?”

“Thank you, Papyrus...”

You felt his gloved hands pet the top of your head, the motion almost comforting. Even sitting down, he was taller than you. “THERE’S MY LITTLE HUMAN GIRL.”

Since when did he consider you his little human-?

“NOW SIT DOWN AND FINISH YOUR LASAGNA. IT’S GETTING COLD.”

You thought he was a little weird in his roundabout way of speaking to you and giving you things that you certainly didn’t ask for, but you just figured it was because of his upbringing or maybe the monster culture. He was very wealthy... but you soon realized that might’ve been because he worked all the time.

When you mentioned job hunting to Papyrus, he advised against it! You were flabbergasted by this, and you told him you had bills to pay and a stomach to feed, but he just told you he’d pay for all those things. Of course, you refused. No matter how much of a close friend you were or how rich he was, you were not making him pay for all of your stuff. That was just too far.

So, you went job hunting... Place after place after place. Nobody seemed to want to hire you. It was strange, but it almost seemed like each place you went to was afraid of something. You ignored it though, and continued job hunting. One place actually came close to hiring you, but then you got a nervous phone call in the middle of the night telling you they were fine with what they had.

Despite all of this, you still refused to take Papyrus’ money. He seemed a little... frustrated by this, but you wouldn’t dare mooch off of him without anything in return.

“YOU STILL REFUSE MY HELP?!” He fumed, standing up and startling the whole cafe around you.

“Papyrus, please!” You tried calming him, putting a gentle hand on his arm.

“YOU’RE BEING UNGRATEFUL.” He hissed, but his animosity was only meant with you rolling your eyes.

“It’s not help if you’re literally paying for my living expenses, without me doing anything in return!”

“THAT DOESN’T MATTER TO ME, YOU KNOW THIS!”

“It may not matter to you, but it matters to me!” You replied, “That’s the kind of thing that only occurs between husbands and wives, or pets and owners! Not between friends!”

“...” This seemed to sedate him, and he sat down in a huff. “I DON’T SEE THE PROBLEM, STILL.”

“The problem is that I want to be self reliant, and I can’t do that if I’m mooching off of you for the rest of my life!”

“IT’S NOT MOOCHING IF I GIVE IT TO YOU WILLINGLY!” He raised his voice again, “AND YOU DON’T NEED TO BE SELF RELIANT, JUST BE RELIANT ON ME!”

“And if you die?” You crossed your arms, “Or get severely injured?”

“... MY SAVINGS IS MORE THAN ENOUGH TO LAST YOU THROUGH THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.”

“And what if we get in a big fight?” You counter, “Or you get so annoyed with me, that you don’t want to be around me anymore?”

“THEN I’LL SEND YOU AWAY UNTIL YOU APOLOGIZE OR I REGAIN MY SANITY!”

You couldn’t believe your ears! He was actually thinking about keeping you as if you were some kind of-! “I’m not a pet or a child, Papyrus! You can’t just send me away until I submit to your will!”

His hands banged down on the table. “I NEVER SAID THAT!”

“I’m sorry, Papyrus, but I’m going to do this by myself.” You said, finally. “I know you’re just trying to help and you don’t like seeing me in a rut like this, but I have to help myself.”

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY? YOU DON’T NEED TO, NOT WHEN I-!”

“Papyrus. No.”

Finally, Papyrus stood, rage boiling behind his empty eyelights. “FINE. YOU WANT TO THROW MY KINDNESS BACK IN MY FACE? SO BE IT.” And just like that, he was grabbing his stuff.

“Papyrus, I didn’t mean-”

He swiftly turned toward you, leaving you face to face with his empty eyesockets. “CALL ME WHEN YOU ARE READY TO APOLOGIZE, AND DO NOT CALL ME FOR ANY OTHER REASON.”

He turned around with in one swift motion, but you didn’t go after him. You just sighed. He may have been your friend, but you weren’t going to let him bully you into letting him pay for your living expenses.

The next couple weeks were pretty harsh. You didn’t know why, but you just seemed to be way down on your luck. Random cars splashing you with water, your coffee orders getting messed up constantly, random things breaking down in your humble home... no longer had air conditioning! But, sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

On the plus side, you had finally found a job! You decided not to tell Papyrus about it, since he was still not talking to you, but maybe once he gets over his need to buy everything for you you could tell him. It was a nice waitressing job, and one you found friends in fairly quickly! The people that worked there were nice, as well as the customers. It was a bit of hard work, but you didn’t care as long as you were making money!

“Y/n, you’re just about the unluckiest person I know!” Lily, your co worker, smiled. “Shoes eaten by dogs again?”

“Ah!” You laughed, sheepishly. “Yeah, It’s been quite the week! Er... Past couple of weeks... But things will get better with time!”

“I’m sure they will!” Lily laughed. “Especially with that tall, dark, and handsome stranger that keeps staring at you.”

Lily winks at you as you turned your head, but you inhale with surprise. There was Papyrus, sitting irate and cold as usual.

“Oh, oh geez!” You whisper harshly.

“Know him?”

“Yeah, he’s a friend but...”

“Ex?”

“No, we just had a fight...” You exhale, before you feel her patting your back.

“You really do have the worst luck!” She laughed again, which you joined her for. “Well, he doesn’t seem to be willing to stop staring... Should I-?”

“No, no. I should handle this like an adult.” You wave her off, “He’s harmless, really.”

“Alright.” She gave you a soft smile, “But if he’s giving you any trouble, I’ll grab the owner.”

“Thanks.” You return her smile, before making your way to your boney friend. He straightened as you approached him, and you put your hands on your hips. “Hey, bonehead. What’s with the sudden appearance?”

“YOU... GOT A JOB.” He said it with distaste.

“Of course, I got a job. I wasn’t going just lay around until I changed my mind.” You rolled your eyes, “Did you think I wouldn’t get one?”

“...I’m going to have to hire new management...” He muttered, barely under his breath.

“What?”

“NOTHING.” Papyrus waved a gloved hand in a vague gesture to everything. “CONGRATULATIONS, I SUPPOSE, ON ALL THIS. I STILL THINK YOU SHOULD QUIT AND LEAVE YOUR LIVING EXPENSES TO ME.”

“I thought you were going to wait until I apologized?”

“I WAS... BUT YOU PROVED TO BE UNUSUALLY STUBBORN.” He leaned on his elbows. “SO I’VE COME TO RELIEVE YOU OF THE EFFORT IN TRYING TO CALL ME, AND ALLOW YOU TO APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW.”

You crossed your arms, unamused.

“NOW WOULD BE NICE.” He growled. “I DON’T HAVE A LOT OF TIME.”

“Papyrus, you need to learn how to play nice with your friends.” You turned around. “Otherwise, you’ll never make any more than me.”

“Y/N.” A chill ran down your back as he said your name like that. “DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM ME.”

You spun back around, your voice straining with anger. “Papyrus, you have been nothing but difficult! You demand I quit my job and then try to pay for all my living expenses, and, when I justifiably refuse, you become enraged and demand an apology!”

“. . .” His expression was dark, the kind of expression that has seen many dark things and has caused most of them, too. It would scare you normally, but you were too worked up to notice. “APOLOGIZE. NOW.”

“I’m going back to work.” You turned around in a huff.

He stayed silent and left after that. And things only got worse from there.

Robbers broke into your home. You didn’t know who was running the police force, but nobody was doing their job right. You were devastated. The entire place was trashed. You were lucky you weren’t there, but that still didn’t make it anymore okay. All your valuables were gone, your place was a mess, they even took the already broken air conditioning system!

But as long as you had a roof and a place to work, you were sure you’d be fine. You just needed to keep your spirits up, it wouldn’t be bad for too long...

And things were pretty okay for a bit. Your luck was still iffy, but you managed to get by. You kept making friends, and kept your spirits up. Still no word from Papyrus, but if he was going to be that way, there was no stopping him. You had managed to get little things like a fan and a small radio from your kind coworkers who didn’t need them anymore. It was one of the nicer things, one of those things that kept you going while all this misfortune was happening.

That was... until your new place of work had caught a flame. You wish you could say that nobody was hurt, but there were still people in the building. People you had worked with, served, and it just so happened to be on your day off. You couldn’t help but feel like you were just one big joke to the universe, and they were dumping all of their trash on you at once. It felt unfair.

Finally, you were walking home from a rough night, when you heard something behind you.

You almost froze in terror. There were people behind you. Shady people behind you. You don’t like to judge by appearances, but one was holding a crowbar in their hand.

You kept walking quicker, taking a turn. You walked even faster, taking another turn. Then even faster, taking one more turn. Lo and behold, they were following you.

You started running, as so did they, and you knew you were in trouble. You could feel your heart pound against your chest. You had to get to a telephone booth...

Ah! There was one! You rushed into it after making a sharp turn, hoping the two behind you weren’t too close on your tail.

Suddenly, you realized you didn’t know who to call. You had no family living here, the police didn’t seem to be able to do their job right, and most of your friends were... gone... save for one.

You punched in the number you memorized and waited. It picked up after one ring.

-SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME?-

You had no time for pride, “I-I’m sorry! I’m so-so sorry! B-but I need you to pick-ck me up, right now! I-I think I’m in trou-ouble.”

Without missing a beat, he replied, -WHERE ARE YOU.-

You told him your location through scattered breaths, amazed he was even able to discern your scrambled speech patterns, before you slammed down the receiver and hid. In remarkable timing, you saw Papyrus’ signature black car pull up. You made a b-line for the car, relief washing over you.

Papyrus came out, and you made no effort to change your speed, ramming into him in a desperate embrace while your voice choked up before you could say a thing. You suppose you were just unloading all of your feeling at once on him. Your house, your bad luck, the fire, and especially being victim to whatever was about to happen a couple minutes before.

You felt Papyrus pet your head softly, saying, “GET INSIDE.”

You only saw a glimpse of it for a second, but as he let you go, you could’ve sworn he was smiling.

You must’ve been mistaken though. Not when he came all this way to help you.

When you entered his car, he took you to his house where you exploded all of your feelings on him. You bursted out into sobs, telling him about your bad luck, your house that was ravaged and trashed until it was almost nothing, and then of the fire that consumed your last hope. Your heart was heavy with grief, and Papyrus listened to it all with a cool demeanor.

“THIS WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HAD LISTENED TO ME.” He said.

“W-what?” You sniffed.

“IF YOU HAD DONE AS I ASKED, YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO WALK TO WORK AND HAVE THOSE UNFORTUNATE THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU, YOU WOULDN’T HAVE A TRASHED HOUSE BECAUSE YOU’D LIVE WITH ME, AND YOU WOULDN’T HAVE GROWN ATTACHED TO THAT JOB ONLY TO HAVE IT BURST INTO FLAMES.”

“Th-That’s awful!” You cried.

“BUT IT’S TRUE.” He said, coldly. “YOU WOULD’VE ONLY SEEN IT ON THE NEWS AS AN INTERESTING PASSING.”

“I-I don’t...” He was right. You hated to admit it, but he was right. “Tha-at doesn’t make it-t any less bad...”

“I DIDN’T SAY IT DID.” He replied. “I JUST SAID YOU WOULDN’T BE SOBBING RIGHT NOW IN MY HOME IF YOU HAD LISTENED TO ME.”

“...” You didn’t want to admit it, but he was pushing you.

“RIGHT?”

“Y-yes...”

“I WANT A PROPER APOLOGY.” He said, clearly. “NOT YOUR FEAR-INDUCED ONE YOU GAVE ME ON THE PHONE, A REAL ONE.”

“W-what?” How... How could he be thinking of that at a moment like this?

“IT’S CLEAR YOU WERE WRONG, SO APOLOGIZE TO ME.” He crossed his arms.

“But I don’t-!”

“WHAT, YOU WANT TO CONTINUE WITH YOUR PETTY SELF RELIANCE?” He replied. “AFTER ALL IT’S CAUSED YOU?”

“It’s not-!”

He interrupted you once more, “Y/N, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO GO BACK TO. YOUR HOME, YOUR JOB, YOUR FRIENDS, THEY’RE ALL GONE. WHY WOULD YOU GO BACK WHEN YOU HAVE ME HERE.”

You stopped. He... was right, again. You did have nothing. What could you even do? Go back to your ruined home and go job searching again, like that worked so great the last time? Perhaps... It was best to go for the easiest option available, and maybe you can find a way to make it right to him.

“Y/N.” His voice was smooth, but deep and dark. Like thick tar. “I AM THE ONLY OPTION YOU HAVE.”

“I...” You thought for a second as you grabbed the end of his jacket. “...I’m sorry. I was wrong. You were right. I should have never gone back job hunting, and should have accepted your help! Please forgive me!”

You felt his cool teeth on your forehead as he pulled you forward.

“M Y L I T T L E H U M A N .” For the first time, you saw his eyelights. They were blood red.

#mafiatale #mafiafell #underfell #papyrus #mafiafell papyrus #mf!papyrus #undertale #skelltales #raccoon with a book #mobfell #mobtale

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yourfavoriterunaway · 7 years

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Hello I haven't been active for awhile. Actually no one cares about that cause I'm just a blog followed by porn blogs (like wtf srsly?) But that's entirely the reason why I can be free here. Twitter's kind of being crowded for me and I can't really express what I feel like how it was before. So here I am, venting here again in Tumblr, where nobody totally cares.

I've been sad recently. My midterm results is horrendous. It has always been like this. Why am I not good at the only thing I'm supposed to be good at. I hate it and I'm really depressed. I've started this semester quite great and I've managed to fuck things up. I've become overconfident I guess and I'm quite not feeling it. Have you ever been like that? Like you never really care whatever will happen. Like you're actually breaking apart and no one cares not even you. And now that you see your broken pieces you don't know how to put it back again together and no one really wants to help you put it back but you were always there when they need you but they're not. Yeah sure I can't quite express what I really feel unlike them that reach out for help but is that really my fault? Is it my fault when I just can't easily tell somebody how I really feel and I pretend that I'm fine because you know that has been my defense mechanism.

I want to start studying to pull myself back together but I just can't. Instead I'm here stuck watching GoT S7. But no one can really will themselves to study if they have GoT S7 am I right? And then after this I'm prolly just gonna find another series to watch like HIMYM S3 or maybe Friends. Ugh I hate myself. It's just that when things start to get grim, I easily give up. How hateful can I be? I'm not even pretty, or smart, or passionate about anything, and I don't even have the grit to hold on and finish something I've started. I'm like the dark background needed so that other people can shine brighter. And I hate it because I know I can also do it if I just try but I can't even start to start trying. I want to die I am so useless.

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dividetourstart2finish-blog · 7 years

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SHOW SEVEN MARCH 26, 2017. BARCLAYCARD ARENA HAMBURG, GERMANY.

Castle On The Hill Eraser The A Team Don’t/New Man This video for castle on the hill clears up about 20 seconds in. This crowd is prolly gonna be more laid back. The aren’t as loud as the last crowd. This is gonna be a great eraser video. It was so good I totally forgot to write haha. Yay our first Martin Cox video of this tour. Welcome back Martin lol. It’s nice watching him sway to the rythem of the a team. Still singing different words on don’t. He sing two shows instead of two planes. Every crowd always yells out same fucking hotel floor haha. Don’t and new man really do go so well together. Dive Bloodstream Happier Galway Girl I’m one of those people who happen to like dive lol. It seems a little faster than normal. Wow this crowd really doesn’t want to sing. I they are just enjoying the show but at least song when he asks. They sang more that time when he actually stepped forward. Pretty good bloodstream video. Wow he hasn’t messed up on this song in a long time. You gotta hit the pedal there eddy lol. I have to refrain myself from using clips of happier every time haha. I just love this song so much. I think Galway girl gets faster as the song goes on lol. I just love hearing him say pretty little haha. How Would Feel Barcelona Take 1 & 2 Supermarket Flowers Human/I See Fire Yay Ashton is back lol. How would you feel is such a beautiful song, especially live. Yay for the first time Barcelona lol it all went to shit but he recovers so well. Take two lol. He looks so good building this song hehe. Filling in the silent moments with this weird noises. The crowd dancing in the background is awesome. I do love and appreciate how great this crowd is being during supermarket flowers. No screaming, just the up most respect. Well he brought the human cover back before I see fire, oh well. I can’t believe he almost left I see fire off the set list, come on ed don’t do that. I see fire is always so beautiful. Prefect Nancy Mulligan Thinking Out Loud Sing I love how simple perfect is live. Just ed and his guitar. Good ol Nancy Mulligan. The biggest smile always during this song. Damn he sounds so good singing thinking out loud. The littlest changes in notes or how he songs something can make the biggest difference. Holy shit the are singing so loud. His voice has been really strong and he sounds great on sing. So funny how they have no problem singing after he leaves lol. ENCORE Shape Of You Take 1/What Do I Know/Shape Of You Take 2 You Need Me I Don’t Need You He always has so much fun with shape of you. Oh man, come on loop station work. Welp guess the loop station decided to stop working. I love how he’s just shrugs his shoulders and keeps going lol. So he’s gonna sing what do I know while the loop is being reset and by reset I mean turned off and then turned back on haha. I knew he would play shape of you again, he’s not ever gonna short the fans. At least the loop didn’t mess up halfway through you need me. Now we are on too the last song, you need me. I wonder if this will be a permanent change. I personally think you need me is a better song to close out the show with anyway. No broke again, it’s been awhile since he’s broken one. Multitasking, just hope he put the right mix on the stand haha. Just reach over there and use your hand haha. Yes, what a way to end the show. That’s a wrap for Hamburg, what a great show. The crowd was definitely more laid back than what we are used to but they still had great energy. This gig, even through it was in a big arena, felt like a small intimate show. There were some technical issues with the loop station, which isn’t anything new lol. It messed up about halfway through shape of you. He then played what do I know while the loop was being reset and them played shape of you again. I know he was going too, even though probable no one knee the loop messed up, he still had to play it again. He’s not gonna leave a show ever feeling like the short changed the fans in any way. So, because he played what do I know between the two takes of shape of you, he finished the show with you need me. I absolutely loved it, I personally thing you need me it a better song to close the show with anyways. I know in the past when he had to makes changes to the set list sometimes those changes become permanent. Here’s hoping this change sticks around lol. Another change to the set which I just realized was that he did not perform I’m a mess. I’m assuming because he played I see fire or because he played Barcelona for the first time, he just took it out to make room. It better be back for the next show haha. Berlin, speaking of next show, we are headed your way. Berlin is also a great show, so I’m looking forward to it. Oh I almost forgot, I have some extra videos for y'all. Ed and James Blunt went to an award show, here’s the Interview With James. Also ed played a game of Taboo With Anne-Marie.This is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in awhile. I just love Anne-marie. Now, until next time, sheerios keep on singing on and spreading love 💙💙💙

#edsheeran #dividetour #hamburg #germany #sheerio #sheerios

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sharkygroup · 7 years

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Hey guys been awhile, Bases is a busy time early on like all sports really. A lot of work and research. And to add headache bases needs revisited a lot through day to see if a game slide into my zone. Once I settle in there will be more time for blogs and such. Wrote this fucking blog once and lost it when I had to take run. So if this one feels angry it is because it is….I’m going to talk about the roller coaster month it has been, some problems a few of you are having, and my new parlay plays I’m doing. Let’s get to it.

+8.45 units on month. Was at 15+ at one point before the slide. And as you guys reading this prolly know already got 6.67 of that 8 last night. I’m happy with any +$$ as you all know. I’d be ecstatic 8 units in a month. So let’s finish strong.

+1.12 on parlays. More later on the Parlay thing I’m doing. But for now know I have hit 6 of 40 of them and still +$$. This is solid way to bet. I am going to be selective as to when I play. As I said…more in bit.

Record wise it’s all about even. Expected in bases. I just need to hit 50/50 to show nice profit in bases because I play mostly dogs. Up north of 6 units in bases so far. NBA is still a little struggle and so is hockey. Just need to keep chipping at them.

That’s where we are at as of now.

Okay I had a guy who wanted to know how come I was claiming my units gained so high when he said he follows closely and his was not nearly as good. First off let me say this….my record keeping is impeccable….period. So I contacted him back and said if he would send me his monthly records I would compare to mine and see where I messed up. ( I knew I hadn’t). But he did, what I found was he was on it. His picks were right and even the mistakes in released picks (2 this month) he made the corrective measures. Which by way I reflected in my monthly total also. One time I lost 5 cents juice. One time I actually come out ahead but didn’t add it to mine. So how was it this guy who does pay attention and seemed to have proper money management end up well under me? After looking through his, and one other friend of mines who follows also I found a few problems….

1) Lines, look if you don’t have several books your messing up. I personally use 4 books. And for baseball betonline or heritage is almost a must. They release early and have better odds most the time. Now a lot of these seemed not to make a big difference but…at 6-8 plays a day if your constantly losing 5 cents or more at times it adds up fast. Do the math over a month. It can be 1-2 units a week. Maybe I’m up 8 units but your even because all these lines that are just below my lines. Get best line possible. Other factors I found regarding lines. Look I do this free of charge. I’m getting my plays in. If they move in those early minutes to hour it is just what it is. I track MY lines. I finish my picks or at least that set before I put out. Sorry it is me first. Like I said this is free so I can do this without feeling bad. One more thing on lines….a lot of locals round numbers down. This cost you a lot of a course of a month also. Keep it in mind. Unless your betting multiples of 100 this will be issue. Can add up also.

2) Mistakes. And I’m not talking about my mistakes which I owned. But it gets confusing at times and I do best I can. But be careful to do thing just as I do, if your hoping for exact same results. A couple misses and it all changes.

3) Missed Plays. Look I know ya all have lives. So do I. But I’m also a insomniac and do a lot of my work at night. Plays come at all times. I usually do post a final on the tweeter. And this won’t change. I am not releasing and certain time for everybody. That’s what a service does. I’m NOT a service because I don’t get paid. So if at 3 in morning I play Pirates at 105 and at 8 they are -115 just eat juice knowing your not getting best of it. Or lay off. I’m not changing my ways to appease anybody. And on that sometimes I pay one last minutes before game. Although this almost never happens, when it does I tweet them out.

Okay, I'm not saying any this to discourage, or insinuate that any of you are wrong in what your doing. It's your money and ultimately it your choice. Just telling you the differences between you and me as far as units gained. Keep at it and make good decisions. On a side note the guys who have Onside app seem to have less problems because I do put them on there as I go. I get asked often to text or email play but that all cost money and time. Money I don't like to give away for free and time is already at a premium in this part of my life. Do the best ya can. Ok, the parlays you guys been seeing me post. First let me say I didn't come up with this. Sherwood at sportswagers.ca did. @sportswagers3 on twitter. He did a YouTube video about it. He also has a great website and podcast. I think he has struggled last year but he knows betting. It is his job. And he charges not a dime for anything. The premise of it, watch the video, is you get true odds against the book. It works like this. I pick a game I like as a dog. So I make 10 3 team parlays with that game being the first leg. Then what I do is add any other +$ bets to it I desire. Rather it's a other play of mine or a play that maybe just missed being a play. I only do it if I have a solid two unit play to start with and have 10-13 other plays I like. Make sure you don't have repeats. Now the first three times I missed the main game with exception of one where I put in a first 5 bet on accident. # 4 last night I killed it and grabbed 5/10. Made over a unit profit for all four rounds. I can see how this is a great way to bet and get a lot of action in many games. Watch the tutorial. I posted on twitter. Or hit up Sherwood. It's a lot of fun. Do it yourself or follow mine. Just remember to use dogs or favs -1.5 to get good odds. Each parlay is bet at 1/10 a normal unit for you and should clear around a unit or more if hit. Try it and let me know..... Okay guys, that's it for today. Until next time....

#sportsbetting #sports #gambling #freepicks

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sonatanotwo · 7 years

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Gordon: ☯ for a brotp meme

Hello random anon. =Oa Pretty sure this wasn’t my Gordo’s mun, but I can’t imagine she’ll mind seeing my answers to this. ;)

who’s older?: Virgil! There’s around a 2 year gap between them.

who’s more protective?: Virgil. Hands down. But I don’t doubt for a second that if Virgil was in need of protecting, Gordon would jump right in there, because all the brothers look out for each other. :|b

what’s their origin?: Brothers :|b Gordon is directly Virgil’s younger brother and the one who made Virgil a big brother. :D Virgil was happy to become a big brother and wanted to be as good a one as Scott, but for awhile as kids they didn’t always get along, but that changed as they continued to get older. By time they were in their teens and their older brothers had gone off to pursue education and dreams, they got a lot closer.

what are four words to describe their relationship?: Teasing, Team, Brothers Taxi

list three problems that they’ve encountered in their time together: Derp, prolly same as wrote in the other… Loss of Mom, the aftermath of that loss, and then their loss of Dad.

how often do they fight?: One of the few times we’ve seen the boys argue, the main argument was between Virgil and Gordon. As well as they do seem to get along, it does seem likely they do butt heads on occasion.

what would their biggest fight be about?: I’m not sure as adults (though I’m sure they’ve had something), but I feel like as children they might have butted heads a lot more, given I headcanon Virgil was a much quieter child and Gordon seemed more likely to be a bit more energetic. I feel like their biggest, at least as children, would have been likely an accident, but something like something being spilled on a long spent artwork or something like that.

nicknames/terms of endearment?: Gordo, Little Brother, Bro (I also liked Gords, but Gordo has been used in canon so. XD Something with ‘squid’ in it maybe… but sorta waiting to see if the show offers anything else.)

how long will they last?: Brothers are forever :|b

how well do they know each other?: Being brothers, they know each other very well! Virgil especially though has a certain knack for picking up on the more subtle things about his brothers and he’s definitely much in tune with Gordon as he is also with Scott.

which of the two is more:

violent - Pretty sure Gordon would be more likely than Virg to throw a punch. affectionate - As mentioned with Scott, Virgil is definitely shown in the series so far as being the most physical affectionate… but I like to believe they’re more affectionate than the show has offered. That being said, I think Virgil is more likely to hug someone than Gordon.irritable - Oh… this is actually a bit tough. Virgil generally is less irritable, but he’s definitely more so around Gordon… soo… this could be considered a tie. ;Dintelligent - They’re all a bunch of clever boys. XDb But like Scott, Gordon also seems to lean more to more on the fly ideas and pure instinct. Virgil, however, leans more with common sense and practicalnessattractive - Shall leave this also to debate.kind - All the Tracys are very kind individuals, so neither really is more so than the other.

how would they react if the other were to die?: Devastated. Virgil loves his family and going through the pain of losing another family member would be tough to handle. Losing Gordon would be different from losing Scott, but no less devastating. If it happened on a rescue, it would especially eat Virgil up, as the older brother failing to protect his little brother–pilot failing to protect his co-pilot.

what extent would one half of the brotp go for the other?: Practically anything… as long as mostly legal. XD And he wouldn’t hesitate to risk his life for the other… for any of his family.

list headcanons for them based around: Ah gosh, let me see! Gordon is something I haven’t really discussed as much, though dropped bits and pieces.

Originally I didn’t think of them sharing rooms as little kids before they moved from the states, but sorta changed my mind about that. Virgil didn’t mind mostly, but it was what led to a lot more conflict between the two. On the other hand, he kept an eye on his little brother and if something was upsetting him, Virgil was often the first to know.

Virgil loved building things with lego and other such construction toys, patiently spending a great deal of time making things–only to have a very excited to play with him little brother often either accidentally knocking or breaking things, or not so accidentally when the giant sea creature came to destroy the city. While he understood Gordon was younger and didn’t know better, it was a lot of frustration for Virgil and he hung around Scott a bit more because of things like this. Similar small incidents befell his artwork a couple times too.

STILL, Virgil wanted to be an awesome big brother, and learned to play songs on the piano for his little, sea loving, brother. He learned songs like ‘Under the Sea’ ‘Octopus’s Garden’ and such.

When Scott finished school and went off to pursue his own life and dreams, Virgil spent a lot of time helping Gordon with his, supporting him when he started training for the Olympics. A headcanon a lovely friend with a Gordon muse passed by me that I still rather adore was that when he’d trained hard and had stiff shoulders and all that, Virgil had a knack for being able to rub the knots away.

(…And I’ve made this post really long, so I guess I’ll leave it at this. X3)

#~OOC Post #~OOC Memeing #long post is long XD #sorry about that #~Gordon #~Headcanons #more stuff I need to write into the fic I wanna write #SOMEDAY

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sleever · 3 years

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March 6, 2021,

Saturday morning I woke up to my alarm cause I had a dentist appointment at home at 11:50. It was horrible because the dentist is my least favorite place in the world and I was extremely tired because I was up so late the night before. I picked up mike and started driving home by 10:30 and finally made it back by 11:30 to say hi to everyone home and see my dog. We left 10 minutes later for the dentist. My visit was fine, no cavities or anything but I still just don’t like going there. But the lady cleaning my teeth before the dentist came in was talking to me for awhile when she eventually asked if I went out last night so I said yeah and she was like “I could tell, you smell like alcohol”. I didn’t really know how to react to that but she laughed and said she didn’t mean it in a bad way so I guess it was just a funny situation but it was just odd because I’ve never heard anyone say that to me especially the day after. Cause I showered, changed all my clothes, brushed my teeth and used mouthwash so Idk why I would have smelled. Oh well it was a funny story. Anyways after that Mike and I went back to the house. Mike and Matt went out to get lunch with Mike’s friend Elizabeth. I took my parents to Panera for lunch. My mom was very stressed over the situation going on with my Poppop right now so we talked about that a lot. Side note Panera ice is not bad, nothing special, about average. After lunch I laid in bed half asleep and on tik tok for an hour while Mike and my Dad watched the final episode of Wanda Vision. I didn’t watch with them cause I haven’t seen it yet but plan to watch it real soon. They said it was really good and had an after credit scene that hinted at a future upcoming movie (like marvel always does). After that I went to my neighborhood courts to play some basketball with Mike and my Dad. Was fun and played for a little over an hour. Went back to the house and some of Matt’s friends were coming over. Like 20 minutes later I drove Matt and his friends to one of their other friends house. I said by to Matt cause I wasn’t going to see him again until prolly Easter. I went home, ate the dinner my mom made. Had my mom give me a haircut, quickly showered then drove back to school around 8:15. We were basically out of gas and that tank was on empty even before we started driving back to school but the gas was like $.40 cheaper in Delaware so we tried to make it all the way back without filling lol. We played a dangerous game but actually made it back fine. Then dropped mike off at his dorm to grab a few things before coming back to mine. I finally got back to mine around 10 and saw that my roommates didn’t clean up anything from the party the night before and made an even bigger mess. Idk what my roommates would do without me. They’re the messiest people I have ever met and don’t give a shit about anything. So I started cleaning up the house and asking them if they could at least pick up the empty cans and cups they left on the ground outside our garage cause I wasn’t there for that and they straight up said no. So I had to do that for them too and Dan was literally yelling at me to not clean up the house. Which was pissing me off cause just because he’s a dirty kid doesn’t mean I have to be and he should let me do what I want, if I want to clean up why yell at me for it, it’s not like I was forcing him to help me. So that bothered me. Anyways I finished cleaning up around 11 when Berlin came over already blacked out and asked if I could drive him to wawa real quick so he could eat dinner so I said sure since I didn’t start drinking yet. He bought me so buffalo chicken bites which was nice then got back to the house before people even showed up so it worked out. I think everyone started showing up around 11:30. A lot more people than I expected actually showed up and it was fun. Some thing that happened were: sledding down the stairs. 4 loko night, Mike’s friend Emily was crying in my bathroom, someone stole Mike’s friend’s juul and blamed Tash so many times until she snapped back. Fun night overall.

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0225pm · 7 years

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USS + some thoughts

missing loads of posts so i’m just gonna start with the most recent events and cover the rest in a while!!!

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guess where we went yesterday? USS!

my mom’s company held a family day thing so the tickets for USS were about 1/3 of its original price if i’m not wrong! initially i wanted to surprise han by going over to his place and buying some lunch for him (bc the day before he told me that his mom’s not at home which just means that there’s not gonna be food at home) but i prepared late and he found out the surprise (the bit where i’m gonna go over to his place to fetch him) so it was a failure!!!!!!!! :( but he said he still love getting these sort of surprises from me even though it wasn’t an unexpected surprise anymore hahahaha but i’m still glad that he’s happy!

so i took a hitch to his place (and skipped the whole takeout for him bc i was already late) and waited for him by the stairs to come down (i thought he would be taking the stairs since he lives on the second floor but his lazy ass took the lift instead wth) and i didn’t even notice him standing opp flashing out his phone to take a video of me (which he posted on his dead ig)

and then from there we went to grab a little bite before heading to the mrt. for some reason, things felt really tense between us like idk if it’s just me feeling that way but it just felt really cold??? then he whipped out his phone again to play ml while i just took out my phone to listen to some music. from yew tee, we would have to stop at jurong and then buona vista before changing lines to the yellow line to get to harborfront. so while on the journey to jurong, we were just doing our own shit. i took out a book (i borrowed from the library about a week and a half ago - it’s called tokyo zodiac murders i think) to read while he continued playing ml. when we reached jurong, we were waiting for the train to buona vista and without double checking, we just boarded this one train only to find out that we were heading back to where we came from when han heard the train operator thingy mention cck. LOL we’re like dumb and dumber sia at that point of time hahahaha and i thought that we would be late for the event but my brother called and told me that apparently we can only go in at 530PM. so we still had plenty of time to kill which was great.

upon arriving at buona vista, i received another call my bro saying that we can only go in at 630PM and by the time we reached the place, it was just slightly after 630 so that was good until we saw the crowd LOLLLL

the amount of people queuing was fucking mental!!! i wished i had taken a video of how much human beans there were but i didn’t thought about it. i honestly couldn’t really stay in focus because it was so hot and i was just perspiring so much and felt sticky everywhere. i should have brought an extra set of top or something but i didn’t, unfortunately. (tryna kick the habit of bringing extra clothes everywhere i go)

we walked a whole round to find the end of the line, only to be brought back right to where we were standing in the beginning, and then we saw that there was another line that seems much shorter than the rest so we decided to move towards that line instead of waiting like a fool following the longer trail of human beans. fortunately, we managed to get into the place in like less than 20 mins. but that wasn’t the end.........

we still had to follow the crowd to i think it’s called SeaWorld or WaterWorld or something, where the winners of the lucky draw was gonna be announced at before a performance and i’m glad we decided to stay for the performance bc it was fucking lit!!!!! i really love it, it was so interesting and really put together. you can see the amount of effort the performers put in to make everything seem so real. i’m not sure if the story is from some old fairytale or something but i think it’s something i would have to research on (if i’m not lazy that is hahaha)

it was already dark by the time the performance ended and as we head out to explore the rest of the place, out of the corner of my eyes i saw my bro and his gf buying something to snack on. so from there, we went on our separate ways. my bro and his gf, han and myself. we were walking around looking for somewhere to eat and we stumbled upon the roasted turkey leg food cart again we so decided to get one of each (should have shared one instead bc it was so salty after awhile), something to munch on while walking around. it was han’s third time at USS whereas its only my second time. i wouldn’t even say it’s second because the first time i went with the fam we didn’t explore the place much and only when there to have lunch/dinner + both me and my bro only rode on the human and cylone ride before my parents decided it was time to head home. so most of the places felt really new to me and i was enjoying myself though i wasn’t sure if han was enjoying himself but i think he was kinda tired from all the walking. he’s not usually the type to like walking for long hours on end but bc i really wanted to walk around, he went along with it.

the turkey legs were too salty to finish up and my bottle of green tea wasn’t helping mask the saltiness so han asked if we should just throw the rest away and then he’ll get a corndog for us to share after noticing a corndog cart about a stone throw away from where we were standing at.

i nodded in agreement and told him i wanna head to the toilet first to wash my hands after which, we went to queue.

the corndog was so good!!! i really love the taste of the batter for the breaded part but han said it was nothing special lmao.

after that we walked around again and then i took a look at the waiting time for the different rides and almost wanted to give up riding anything because one, i was perspiring buckets and two, the waiting time was so long. but han asked me again if i’m sure about leaving and then we noticed that there was a performance showing at 930PM so we decided to stay for that and while waiting we sat nearby mel’s drive-in bc there was another performance there. i also decided to call my bro to ask him if he wanna ride the galatica rollercoasters with me bc i asked han but i felt like i was just forcing him to ride something he dont want to cus he snapped at me when i told him that i dont want to ride it alone and he has to ride it with me hahahaha but my bro’s gf didn’t want to ride the galatica too so han sees it as an opportunity to not ride and used taking my care of my bag as an excuse LOL so i was alrighty then and rode the red one with my bro.

it was so thrilling!!!! i love it even though i felt so queasy afterwards but it felt like all my stress and whatever shitty feeling i was feeling before sorta disappear during the ride. i wanted to ride the blue one (the one where there’s more twists and turns and ur feet will dangle in the air) and han wanted to challenge himself to ride it too but bc both me and my bro was still tryna catch our breaths, his gf suggested riding other rides first - and so we went to the mummy one.

but holy shit i think it was by far the more thrilling one as compared to the red galatica rollercoaster wtf there are so many twists and turns and the atmosphere was so just frikin cold like you’re really underground the mummy’s tomb and shit i absolutely love it!!! i think the suspense was what really made the whole ride interestingly enjoyable and thrilling. before the ride i actually linked arms with han sia hahahaha and i’m glad i did bc at one point of time it was legit scary.

and then after the mummy, we walked towards the puss in boots ride and before that everyone thought that it’s just a lame ass ride for kids and it’s not gonna be scary and i thought like ok at least its gonna be a chill ride BUT OH BOY WAS I SO FUCKING WRONG HAHAHAHHAHAHA the suspenses are fucking killers and ITS DEFINITELY NOT A LAME RIDE. but as compared to the mummy one, this one’s less thrilling.

oh and han was so touchy when we were waiting for the rides HAHAAHAHAH i think he proper was having fun and was really enjoying himself or maybe bc he got to smoke so his mood became happier AHHAHAHA but i really love that side of him more. i was legit perspiring like crazy like my whole tee was drenched in sweat but that didn’t stop him from pulling me closer to him as he embraced me and then grabbed onto my hand holding it tightly. sighHHHH he makes me feel so tingly. i look like shit but he don’t even care hahahhaha

we had a little bit of time for one more ride so for the last one, we decided to ride the transformers one and wah i think out of all this one is my favorite!!! i can understand why its one of his fav too!!! you really feel like you’re in the animation/short movie they were showing. the whole experience was just amazing. to quote him “it feels very 5D” hahahahaha

we didn’t have time to ride the cylone so we gave that up and then from there we went on our separate ways and head back.

han asked whether we will be separating there and going home on our own and without hesitation i said no. and there silence filled the air and during that time i was doing some reflection mentally. like how tired he was, how far away from home and how he will have to travel back and forth. i was just being really selfish so i told him its was okay and we can separate from there but he said no bc the first answer i gave him is what i really wanted (like the truth ah) and he said about how even if i said its ok or if its fine, its actually not ok which tbh is true la but i just...... didn’t want to be selfish and self centered only thinking about my own wellbeing when i know he was as tired as i was, if not more.

(while walking towards vivo, idk how the topic of break up came about but he asked me like what i’d do if he ask for it and honestly without hesitation i told him i would kill myself which i think scared him but idk man my heart will prolly be so broken i think even if i don’t kill myself i will die from the heartbreak. and then i asked him what he’ll do if the role is reverse and he said that he will prolly be like how it was like with the rest of his past rs, ask why and then cry about it and then he’ll be okay. i was.... idk i just didn’t know what to say. what he said hurt me and made me feel like i was “the same like all his other past rs” idk why but i thought maybe i was different, maybe i was The One for him, the one that he will never be able to forget about but ofc i didn’t tell him about how i feel bc i didn’t want to make things anymore awkward so i just kept quiet and pretended things were ok but you know me, i think about things and i just felt like he’s prolly gonna get tired of my shit sooner or later.)

anyway, he still stubbornly refused and wanted to send me back so we decided to take uber back (it was hard to get a hitch at that time and place) and then went to the 24 hours indian shop to have supper before he sent me back. we chilled for a bit at the void deck as per usual and then around 3+ 4, my bro and his gf appeared hhaha so we ended up chilling together and playing a couple rounds of ml before they left (my bro sent his gf home) and then around 5, 5+, han booked a grab to head home.

before that though i asked him something about having to send me home i think, but i can’t quite remember what his response what. i think it was something along the lines of, we live so far from each other sometimes it’s hard or something like that idk.

but i know it made me feel kinda sad though i was thankful that he took time to send me back even though he was so tired and he lives on the other end.

we also talked about wishes and one of his wish is to get a bike but he told me that its something difficult with me around and even though i know it was really just a poor choice of words, it makes me think if i’m a burden and if i’m too much for him to handle.

i really wonder what he thinks of us and if he’s holding back all his feelings because he’s afraid if he put in too much of himself into me, it might all be in vain in the end. i just hope i don’t fuck things up because i really want us to last for a really long time and i know, we don’t know what the future holds for us but honestly, i want to be with him till death do us part, at the very least.

#augustwithhan #adaywithhan #260817

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jmeetsc-blog · 7 years

Text

Star-crossed Lovers

It was raining cats and dogs one busy night in the city. Yet, people were not really bothered by the heavy rain. Everyone was doing their usual daily routines despite the fussy weather–commuters trodding along the sidewalks and pedestrian lanes, either from work or the mall, some hailing for cabs or noisily chatting with their companions, while others were dining in to eat or drink liquor to rejoice for Happy Thursday or to grab their fave frappuccino or hot coffee or tea to chill, to chat or simply to wait for the traffic to subside. I was one of the latter.

I was sitting alone silently at a corner outside of the coffeeshop, sipping from my usual choco fix and puffing on cigarettes one after the other. The rain has stopped, but the streets were still damp and slippery. It was nine in the evening and I bet traffic has died down, as passers-by were getting fewer, too. The night got tranquil, yet my mind was in a state of bewilderment, wandering every nook and cranny of my underlying thoughts, flooding me with obscure emotions. It was funny how my mind got me in a whirl just like that–baffled, fazed and perturbed all at the same time. It brought me to a place unknown. So far away. A sort of an escape. From everything and everyone. Chimera slowly filled up my mind. That very instant, my heart was beating a tad faster. That’s when I suddenly realized that I was beaming again with unrattled hope, still grasping on to its thin-like thread..

Slowly drifting back to reality, I let out a sigh. My mind that was so clouded awhile back, seemed to be convalescing from all the triggered trifle that has been lingering in it for quite some time. Minute after minute, things have started to be more lucid. Everything just happened to turn out so palpable and unfeigned. Not that it wasn’t before, but this has become so much more of like a positive confirmation and proclamation, an attestation of my wavering emotions, a dose of reality that hit me so hard on the head like a brick.

“Fuck, I sincerely do love you. Everything about you.” was all that I could murmur to myself. I mean, I am now very certain that I do, and the scary thing is, it does not simply halt there. It isn’t like just because of your aquiline nose, fair skin, lean physique nor your hot corporate attire everyday. This is an inexplicable gust of affection that transcends superficialities. It is way beyond the ventricular contractions or hyperventilation you caused everytime. There was something about you that piloted me to knowing you more, and to my astonishment, locked my interest as time flies; and you, prolly, saw that in me, too. I could sense myself trying to hide away my flushed cheeks and a smile in my face, as I kept myself busy, pondering on every minute facet.

Attempting to recapitulate how the cognizance transpired was not a struggle, because that very night when I was all alone in the coffeeshop, filled me up with montage of your images, of my images, so vivid, being put together and fitting so perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle. In saying this, I could indistinctively remember how we got close. We are both wide readers and profound writers by heart. Damn, how often do you chance upon someone who freaking likes both, as much as I do? I mean, my favorite downtime hobbies in the whole wide world! That’s fucking something else! How often do you find someone who appears to be like a replica of yourself? Someone who also likes to mull over random thoughts and ideas? Pondering on some deep shit once every too often? Just about anything. Weird it may sound, but that’s who I am, and funny enough, I stumbled upon another weirdo just like that. Same sense of humor. Same line of thoughts. Same everything. To the extent that no words mandated, because a gaze or a smirk is all that it takes. Everything feels so natural. Freely flowing, that we can almost finish each other’s sentences or even say the exact fucking same thing in unison. We saw each other for who we really are, thus we can still be able to live with ourselves. Live with ourselves in a way that we can, as well, totally just show off our purest form–persona, values, beliefs and/or idealogies, without fear of rejection. It is like being with someone who is an another version of yourself. Well, I reckon that even from the onset, there has been that inimitable spark. We both know it has long been there. It has flown off to the height of it all and has been locked on its own, alternately raving and remaining in a half-dream. A connection that has ignited, burnt and consumed our innermost vested desires and interests. The more we try to put out the fiery spark, the more it flames up and razes ourselves. Who knew that not only hearts could be broken, even minds do. The mere attributes spike a jolt in my heart, running a chill down the spine. Phantasms that actually told me that it has always been you in my head whenever, wherever and whatever happens. Not a few moments after, trails of thought came crashing down at once, leading my mind to a trance-like state…

“It has always been you I have been wishing to be with for so long now, anywhere, anytime and in any way. Doing nothing or doing anything. In quietude or in loquacity.”

“You have been the first person that pops in my mind whenever I read, write, hear any lovesong, watch any kind of film, go to a place I haven’t been before and everything in between and beyond. It has always been you I wanna tell all the happenings that I encounter each and every day, share all my memories and create new ones with.”

“You have always been my constant go-to person when my heart is loaded with gaiety for whatever circumstance there is or when things get out of hand, things getting into my head and have me feeling so fucked up.”

“It has always been you who understands me, who can and would understand or at least tries to so. It has always seemed so easy for you to believe in me, my abilities and in the entirety of my being.”

“It has always been so easy for you to trust me with all of your heart and never to judge or see me so stupid and lowly if I do wrong. You see my human errors and weaknesses and you never use them against me, but instead, you fill the loopholes with your patience, guidance and assistance to make them right.”

“You have been the sole person who adapts and manages to love my quirkiness, my random thoughts, dreams, goals and ideas; my mood swings; my bitchy attitude; my constant naughty teasing and fuck-me-now look; my horny hormones and my amore for foreplay and sex; my insecure feeling-so-ugly-and-fat-as-fuck feeling; my innate snappy temperament; my relentless whining like a child, my making faces and rolling eyes; my iffiness; my weirdly hopeless romantic side; my routinary curious pin-you-on-the-wall questions; my I-won’t-stop-til-you-spill face; my insanely fleeting, almost-on-depression kind of breakdown; my pout with a series of babytalks; my nonsense rants; my ultra long messages or even the unintentional hurtful words I could tell you when I’m mad. I can never enumerate everything, but all that I know is that..”

“You have always accepted me for who I am and for who I am not. For who I am now and neither for who you want me to be nor for any expectation of who I can be someday.”

Suddenly, I was awakened from my reverie with my heart throbbing ever so loudly against my lacey black top. The thoughts were overwhelming as they exploded one by one in my head, one after another. Catching my breath, I tried to rethink how it happened, but words seemingly failed me. Words weren’t enough to speak for what just occured. Maybe, just maybe, it was solely my heart that did the gibberish talking. Laying down all my cards. No inhibitions, no reservations. Just the goddamn thing having a mind of its own.

The dark purplish silhouette of the nightsky continued to envelope above my head, as myriads of stars attempted to steal the limelight with their blaze. I gazed up at the firmament and the only audible word I have muttered was, “Why?” For so long, these questions have bugged the hell out of me, leaving me dumbstruck and exasperated everytime. Right now, the thoughts came running through my wits, haunting me all over again. I, hitherto, couldn’t mumble a thing, for all one knows, it is abstruse and esoteric in nature–the purpose of you walking into my life, of us meeting at this moment in time.. “Why now when everything’s too late?”,I uttered to myself, swigging my choco fix in a few gulps and abruptly looking at my watch. It was already past 10 pm.

As I got inside the cab I hailed, I could perceive the devastating numbness, anguish and desolation, the suppressed fury and regret, the tortuous longing and wanting, all together. I could feel a trouncing void in my heart. Chances are it’s true that when you stare at the abyss for too long, you get sucked in and never return. My case right here is one heck of an epitome for the supposition. I have fallen deeply in love with this person, and now I can neither unfriend nor unlove him. Neither can I forget nor pretend we never knew each other. I felt so vulnerable and impuissant, for my raw emotions eat me alive. What the fuck do you do when at a wrong time, you meet someone who is everything that you wanted? Do you fight or do you flee? Do you stay and wait around, or simply give up and let go?

If only parallel universe existed. If only we had met a few years back. If only things weren’t so complicated here and now. If only we could turn back time to fix our wrong choices in life.

Fate had its game well-played on us and maybe, just maybe, this is not the right time, still. Albeit you might actually be the right person, at this very moment, only time can tell. Our routes might have to sunder now this time, along with our own Personal Legends and new pursuits on the way, yet even if all else fails, I’d love to see you and meet you someday. Somewhere far away from everything and everyone. Somewhere in a coffeeshop, in a bar or in a chic resto uptown. Someday when all is well. You see, I’d look for you and I’d find you. In all possibly existing alternate universes and dimensions, in all conjectured worlds and lifetimes, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d still choose you.

#love #i love you #relationship #destiny #time will tell #alternate universe #be mine #my writing #writing #short story

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