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oh-mother-of-darkness · 4 years

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Timeline: Batman

google doc / ao3

This is my best attempt at a post-crisis timeline based on age-- specifically Bruce’s age every time he adopted and/or met one of his children.

List of events:

Bruce’s parents die

Bruce becomes Batman

Dick’s parents die

Dick becomes Robin

Jason becomes Robin and is adopted

Jason dies

Tim becomes Robin

Cass appears

Dick is adopted

Tim is adopted

Cass is adopted

Damian becomes Robin

I’ll be citing my work by issue and panel. This isn’t my most organized work, and I don’t know how well tumblr will let me translate it, so I do recommend the google doc. I imagine the image quality here won’t be great.

Notes:

This is a post-crisis timeline (1986-2011). I’ll be referencing a few pre-crisis panels, but I won’t be touching the New 52 or anything after it. That’s a different game of ball with its own, extremely bad, timeline.

Crisis on Infinite Earths is a 1985-1986 series that rebooted the DC timeline and altered some backstories, including Jason’s. Pre-crisis, his backstory was almost identical to Dick’s. Post-crisis, he changed to the “steal the wheels off the Batmobile” origin. Anything written before 1986 is a weak source for my purposes.

My original question centered around Bruce’s age through the process of meeting and acquiring his children. In this timeline, those children are (1) Dick Grayson, (2) Jason Todd, (3) Cassandra Cain, (4) Tim Drake, and (5) Damian Wayne. I was envisioning an interview where the kids explain their family timeline to outsiders. I did not anticipate the project taking this long.

We’re talking about 72 years of content here, which means decades of contradiction, conflation, and rewrites. I’m pretty satisfied with my work product, but please understand that there are no perfect answers. I’m going to cite my sources, and I’ll do my best to explain why I chose those sources specifically, but it’s pretty likely that for every panel I pull, there will be others with different numbers. We’re all going to have to live with that.

Event timeline

*I’m defining Jason’s age by the time elapsed since his birth, but you could make an argument for using time he has been alive, which is, of course, different. That’s why the parentheses are there.

Age differences

As Robin

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Bruce’s parents die

Pretty consistently, Bruce is written as eight years old the night his parents died.

Detective Comics #0 (1994)

This is a zero issue where Bruce thinks back on his origin story. It was written long after Crisis on Infinite Earths (1986), and I tend to give a lot of weight to ages written in summaries of past plot lines, my reasoning being that it’s easier to be consistent in one issue than it is to be consistent through a month to month story.

Bruce first appeared as an adult in Detective Comics #27 (1939), and the Waynes were already dead at that point, so flashbacks are the only available material anyway.

Gotham Knights #6 (2000)

The text is Hugo Strange talking about Bruce, and the image is Tim and Dick playing at Wayne Enterprises.

I’ll take a second here to note that I did find at least one alternate age for Bruce— in Superman/Batman Secret Files & Origins (2003), Bruce was 10 when his parents died. I’m disregarding that in favor of the stronger 8 year old timeline, especially in light of Batman #404 (1987).

Batman #404 is the beginning of Batman: Year One, which was explicitly written to clarify the Batman timeline post-crisis, and it’s the basis of most of my calculations for Bruce and Dick’s ages.

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Bruce becomes Batman

According to Year One, Bruce was 26 years old when he became Batman. I’m using his age at his parents’ deaths, his age when he returned to Gotham, and his 18 year timeline.

Batman #404 puts Bruce at age 25 when he returned to Gotham in January.

Batman #404 (1987)

Bruce gives his dramatic, “Yes, Father, I will become a bat,” line in March. In the same scene, he says that it has been 18 years since his parents’ deaths. Knowing that they died when Bruce was eight, that puts Bruce at 26 years old the day he became Batman, which makes sense considering Bruce’s birthday is usually set at February 19th.

He was 25 in January, turned 26 in February, and became Batman at 26, 18 years after his parents’ death.

Batman #404 (1987)

Post-crisis, DC built timelines off the “Year” model. Year One is Batman’s beginning, and events after that are measured by how far away they are from the year Bruce became Batman. I’ll be using the Year model for Dick’s life events next.

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Dick’s parents die

The Graysons died in Year Two. Using the Year Model, Dick was 12 when his parents died, and Bruce was 37.

Year timelines appear a fair amount, especially in issues titled “Secret Files & Origins.” I pulled this bit from Batman Secret Files & Origins (1997) because it was the easiest to screenshot.

Batman Secret Files & Origins (1997)

Year Two would place Bruce at 27 years old. I’m calculating Dick’s age backwards, based on him being 13 years old during Year Three.

Batman Secret Files & Origins (1997)

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Dick becomes Robin

Dick became Robin in Year Three, when he was 13 years old and Bruce was 28. I’m using two different issues to calculate the number.

Batman #441 (1989)

Batman #441 is from Tim’s introduction story. It takes place “months” after Jason’s death. We’ll get to that part. In Batman #441, Tim asked Dick to be Robin again in order to help Bruce, who was visibly unstable after Jason’s death. Dick says that he can’t go back to being Robin, just like he can’t go back to being 13 years old. The strong implication there is that Dick became Robin at 13, which corresponds to Dick’s statements in Batman #416 (1988).

In Batman #416, Dick as Nightwing returns to confront Bruce about Jason becoming Robin. He says that he was Robin for six years, and he stopped being Robin at 19.

Batman #416 (1988)

If Dick stopped being Robin at 19, after 6 years, that would put him at 13 when he debuted as Robin, the same number from Batman #441 (1989).

Dick was 13 during Year Three, so 12 during Year Two, the year his parents died. Those numbers answer the first bit of my original question. I wanted to know how old Dick and Bruce were when Dick became his child. It’s a bit more of a complicated question for Dick, since he was originally Bruce’s ward, then adopted as an adult.

Based on the timeline so far, Dick became Bruce’s ward at 12 years old, while Bruce was 27.

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Jason becomes Robin and is adopted

As previously discussed (see Notes), Jason’s timeline is complicated by Crisis on Infinite Earths (1985-1986). Pre-crisis, Jason first appeared in Batman #336 (1983) as a former circus acrobat very similar to Dick.

Jason’s origin story reboots at Batman #408 (1987), which describes the switch-off between Dick and Jason. I’m building a lot of my timeline off of that issue. At the beginning, Dick gets shot by the Joker, and as Bruce carries him away, the media ask if Robin is dead. Dick isn’t dead, but back at the manor, Bruce decides to retire Robin as a role, based on the idea that crimefighting is too dangerous for a child.

Batman #408 (1987)

This version is more or less from Bruce’s point of view, but there’s a contrasting version from Dick’s point of view later, in Batman #416 (1987). That one has a significantly different tone, and I already cited it once (page 13) because Dick talks about his age and the amount of time he was Robin.

Batman #408 (1987)

The second part of the issue takes place “weeks” later. Bruce goes to Crime Alley to mourn his parents on the anniversary of their death. He comes back to find that somebody stole the wheels off the Batmobile. The somebody was Jason, and by the end of Batman #409 (1987), Bruce is calling Jason “Robin.”

Batman #408 (1987) seems to divide Dick’s departure and Jason’s introduction by only “weeks,” in the post-crisis reboot. Dick’s version of the story in Batman #416 (1987) is much less charitable to Bruce— instead of ending on a panel of Bruce smiling, it shows the aftermath of Dick in tears as Bruce walks away. Dick goes on to describe leaving the house, going to college for a semester, then dropping out. According to Dick, Bruce didn’t even say goodbye.

Batman #416 (1987)

I don’t think the stories are contradictory; they’re just different experiences of the same events, separated by only eight issues. Dick tells us that he was 19 when he left Wayne Manor, and Bruce chooses his new Robin “weeks” later.

As a summary, we know that Bruce’s parents died when he was eight, and that 18 years passed before he became Batman at 26. One year later, Dick’s parents died while Bruce was 27. One year after that, Dick became Robin at the age of 13. From those facts, Bruce is 15 years older than Dick.

All of my calculations of Bruce’s age are based off of the age gap between him and Dick. Dick was 19 when Jason became Robin, so we know that at that time, Bruce was 34. We also know that at that time, Jason was 12.

I can’t show a source for that number because it appears on the letter page of Batman #408 (1987), Jason’s introduction.

Even after a significant amount of investigation, I can’t find a copy of the letter page, but it’s cited by enough secondary sources for me to be comfortable using it. That issue is specifically written to show Jason’s origin, so it makes sense that it would contain Jason’s age at inception, even if the number wasn’t in the actual exposition.

From Jason being 12, we can establish a seven-year age gap between Jason and Dick, who was 19 at the time. Now we know Bruce, Dick, and Jason’s ages, and the age differences between them.

Back to my original question— when did Bruce acquire Jason? We know that Bruce was 34 when Jason became his ward, and Jason was 12. The next question, however, is when did Bruce adopt Jason? On this one, I’m making an educated guess.

Again we have to differentiate between pre-crisis and post-crisis timelines. Pre-crisis, there’s a full storyline about the fact that Bruce did not adopt Jason, although not for lack of trying. In Batman #374 (1984), the Child Welfare Bureau investigates Bruce when it notices that Bruce has not adopted Jason— and is not even, in fact, his legal guardian.

Batman #374 (1984)

The rest of the storyline is about Jason’s custody. A villain named Natalia Knight (Nocturna) adopts Jason in an attempt to get Bruce to marry her in order to become Jason’s father. In the court scene in Batman #377 (1984), Bruce says that he filed to adopt Jason sometime beforehand, although it’s unclear to me whether he means he filed between those issues or the CWB documents were incomplete.

Natalia does adopt Jason in Batman #378 (1984), and he briefly lives with her before returning to Wayne Manor in Batman #381 (1985), directly before the reboot.

I’m including all of that for two reasons: first, I do think it’s important to clarify both this version and the post-crisis version I’m about to address. Second, I spent years under the impression that Bruce adopted Jason pre-crisis because of one, well-known scene.

Batman #377 (1984)

Batman #378 (1984)

Batman #381 (1985)

Donna Troy gets married in Tales of the Teen Titans #50 (1985). At the wedding, Bruce and Dick have a conversation about Jason and about their own relationship. A few of those panels get spread around because they contain what I would consider a defining moment between Dick and Bruce.

I’m certainly not complaining about the amount of times I’ve seen the wedding conversation, but I think that, in regards to Jason, seeing just those panels has created a misconception.

Tales of the Teen Titans #50 (1985)

Without context, it looks, at least to me, like Dick is saying that Bruce has adopted Jason pre-crisis, which isn’t true. This issue takes place between the Natalia adoption in Batman #378 (1984) and Jason’s return to the manor in Batman #381 (1985), and the panels directly before the exchange make that clear. I just didn’t see those panels until I looked through the whole issue for this project.

I’m reasonably certain that in the past, I publicly cited this issue as evidence of Jason’s adoption, and I was wrong about that. [Note: As it turns out, I was only partially wrong. See section Correction.]

Tales of the Teen Titans #50 (1985)

As we see, the wedding conversation is in the context of the Natalia adoption. With that cleared up, and with the pre-crisis timeline filled out, let’s move to post-crisis.

In my brief read-through of Batman #404-427 (1987-1988), I didn’t find any direct references to Jason’s status. Those issues begin at the reboot and end at Jason’s death. However, Dick and Jason’s statements after the fact do tell us that post-crisis, Bruce did adopt Jason.

In Batman #436 (1989), Dick returns to the manor in the direct aftermath of Jason’s death, and while he is there, he sees that Bruce removed any trace of Jason from the house. There aren’t any trophies in the Batcave, and there aren’t any pictures of Jason on the nightstand displaying Bruce’s family photos.

Dick says that Jason was Bruce’s son.

Batman #436 (1989)

I think it’s fair to ask whether Dick is being literal here, because even if Bruce hadn’t legally adopted Jason, it would still be more than appropriate to call them father and son. I’m not going to place my opinion solely on this kind of statement, even if it does appear pretty regularly from 1988 to the end of the timeline.

Green Arrow/Black Canary #4 (2007)

We get a more definite answer later, during Tim’s first appearance. In Tim’s origin story, he deduces Batman and Robin’s secret identities after he sees footage of Robin doing a type of flip that only the Flying Graysons could do. Tim was at the circus the night Dick’s parents died, so he saw Dick do the flip there, then saw Dick become an orphan.

Because Tim knew that Dick was the first Robin, he correctly identified Bruce as Batman and Jason as the second Robin. He tells Dick all of this in Batman #441 (1989).

Batman #441 (1989)

Tim does specifically use the word “adopts” here, and that’s good enough for me. The last part is guesswork— I don’t know for certain how old Jason and Bruce were when the adoption took place, but I’m electing to say Jason was 12, the same age as he was when he became Robin.

I picked that number both out of convenience and because Tim seems to be putting Jason’s adoption and the second Robin’s appearance at around the same time. With that in mind, I think that Jason was 12 years old both when he became Robin and when Bruce adopted him. Using the age gap we already established, that would put Bruce at age 34.

Circling back to my original question, Dick became Bruce’s ward when Dick was 12 and Bruce was 27. Jason became Bruce’s ward, then adoptive son when Jason was 12 and Bruce was 34.

At this point in the timeline, Bruce is 34 with one former ward and one adopted son.

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Correction

A few days after I wrote my section about Jason’s appearance and adoption, I realized that I was missing a panel citation in my discussion of Jason’s death. The panel is from New Titan #55 (1989), and you’ll see me cite it when I talk about Jason’s death certificate.

New Titans #55 (1989) is the issue where Dick, who is with the Teen Titans, finds out about Jason’s death. While I was combing through the issue for the panels I wanted, I reread a scene I had completely forgotten about. Dick goes back to the manor to speak to Bruce, and it doesn’t go well.

New Titans #55 (1989)

I have three comments here. First, I do think this scene is inconsistent with the simultaneous story in the Batman title. In this version, Dick and Bruce have a very aggressive confrontation, but in Batman #436 (1989), Dick appears to be returning to the manor for the first time since Jason died, and there isn’t any reference to a prior fight.

Putting that aside, Bruce does explicitly say that he adopted Jason, and that’s more, stronger verification of a post-crisis adoption. Lastly, it’s pretty clear that Bruce and Dick are talking about the wedding scene.

I already explained that the wedding scene is pre-crisis, and in the original text, that conversation is about Bruce wanting to, but not being able to, adopt Jason. New Titans #55 (1989) carries the wedding scene into post-crisis canon, changing the language in the process. In this version, Bruce has adopted Jason.

I was still wrong about the wedding scene because in the past, I used it as evidence of a pre-crisis adoption. It isn’t pre-crisis evidence, but it is, in a roundabout way, evidence of the post-crisis adoption. I wanted to clear that up before I move on to Jason’s death.

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Jason dies

Jason’s death is by far the shakiest point on my timeline, but I’ve chosen to put him at 15 the day he died in Batman #427 (1988).

I think it’s safe to say that Jason was either 14 or 15 when he died, and my basic conclusion is that running numbers doesn’t give me a definite answer. There’s a cop-out option based on an extraordinarily poor source, and I’m taking the cop-out.

The general consensus seems to be that Jason was 15 at his death, citation to Jason’s death certificate. Jason’s death certificate appears in two different places, and I think most folks conflate the two.

To my knowledge, the only copy of Jason’s death certificate in full appears in The Batman Files (2011), where it does list Jason’s age as 15.

The Batman Files (2011)

Now there is a partial copy in Batman Annual #25 (2006), which I would argue is a very reliable reference when it comes to Jason. That issue is part of the Under the Red Hood story, the one where Jason returns to Gotham for the first time after his resurrection. In fact, the specific annual issue has a timeline for Jason’s events counting forward from his death.

Here’s the problem: the issue doesn’t say his age at death. The partial copy of his death certificate looks like this.

Batman Annual #25 (2006)

I think that when most folks remember a death certificate, they think of this one, the one from a very important issue, instead of The Batman Files (2011) which, as noted, is a very bad source.

I have three issues with The Batman Files (2011): the format, the publishing date, and the other information on the certificate. First, The Batman Files (2011) isn’t a comic book at all. It’s a commemorative book published in collaboration with DC in 2011. Now I don’t think that fact completely removes the book as a source, but it certainly damages its value as one.

My problem with that date, 2011, is that it’s the year the New 52 premiered. I called it a commemorative book because it’s meant to be a look back at a fully complete timeline, a kind of ��this is us saying goodbye” product. The date and format alone make me hesitant to cite the certificate, but on top of that, the certificate is inconsistent with prior canon.

I am intimately familiar with retcons and conflicting numbers in the DC timeline. I made a point at the beginning of this paper to tell you that although this is my best attempt to make a cohesive timeline, assuming that I can carve out a cohesive timeline is fundamentally flawed.

I’m not saying that a single contradictory number is enough to make me disregard a source. I am saying that in this particular conversation about an already suspect source, I’m going to take inconsistency into account.

In New Titans #55 (1989), the issue from Corrections, Dick finds out about Jason’s death because a team member notices Jason’s status is set at “unknown.” Dick uses Bruce’s passcode to access restricted information, and he and the Titans see that Jason’s real status is “deceased.”

The death certificate in The Batman Files (2011) marks Jason’s height at 4’6 and his age at 15. In contrast, Dick’s scene puts Jason at 5’4, and its only reference to Jason’s age is a very relatable question from Donna. “How old was he, anyway?”

New Titans #55 (1989)

There’s a substantial difference between the two heights, and I think it’s also worth noting that for a 15 year old American male, 4’6 is in the 0.1 height percentile. In the past, I and many others have tried to justify that height along the lines of Jason being malnourished or similarly afflicted. Personally, I liked the parallel between this height for Jason and Damian’s height at his own death in 2013, and I know I’ve talked about that in the past.

I’m not criticizing anyone for using the 4’6 number, but I do think the unlikelihood of a 15 year old that size is worth bringing up.

In summary, The Batman Files (2011) is so bad of a source that I’m only willing to use it as a last resort. Unfortunately, it’s time for a last resort.

I mentioned a timeline in Batman Annual #25 (2006) that counts forward from Jason’s death. I’m not going to use image cites here because they’re just isolated text boxes labeled either “six months later” or “one year later.”

Using that timeline, we know that Jason’s resurrection took place six months after his death. He spent one year in a coma, then one year on the street, then one year with the League of Assassins. Finally, he spent a nebulous time training before he returned to Gotham.

We know that Jason was gone for a minimum of three and a half years, then whatever time “training” includes. Personally, I’m applying my best attempt at comic logic to say he was missing for somewhere between three and four years.

To understand the next bit, I need to point out that from Jason’s death on, I’m going to be using Tim’s age to track time in the same way I’ve been using Dick’s so far.

As a reminder, I know what age Bruce was when Dick became Robin (28), and I know Dick’s age at the same point (13), so I know there’s a 15 year age difference. As I track Dick’s age through the timeline, I add 15 to get Bruce’s.

In the same way, I know what age Dick was when Jason became Robin (19), and I know Jason’s age at the same point (12), so I know there’s a 7 year age difference. I can use that number ongoing.

I know that Tim was 13 when he made his first appearance as Robin, and I’ll get into that in the next section. After that, I’m placing Dick, Tim, and Cass’s adoptions based on Tim’s age.

To do that, I need to know how much older Dick is than Tim, and I can only get that by knowing Jason’s age at his death, sort of.

How long was Jason Robin? If I had that information, I could establish Jason’s age by counting up from 12, the age when he became Robin, then establish Tim’s age from there.

I can’t really answer that question. There is a panel from Batman #436 where Dick, apparently in his first time at the manor since Jason’s death says the following.

Batman #436 (1989)

My instinctual interpretation is it’s been two years since he stopped being Robin at 19, making Dick 21 and Jason 14. In my opinion, that’s straightforward plain language, but it seems like I’m in the minority on that one, and most folks read it as Dick saying it’s been two years since he was last at the manor. We know from Batman #416 (1988) that Dick’s last visit to the manor was 18 months after Dick left home.

Batman #136 (1988)

I think the most honest thing to say is that Jason was Robin for an indeterminate amount of time that was somewhere between two and three years. I don’t know which number is closer. I also, if you remember, think that Jason was gone from Gotham for somewhere between three and four years, but I don’t know where in that range the real number is.

Here’s why absolutely nothing I’ve said in the past seven pages matters: I need to build my timeline based on the age gap between Jason and Tim.

I don’t know how old Tim was when Jason died.

I know how old Tim was at his first appearance as Robin, and that’s a different number.

We’ll finish this conversation in a moment.

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Tim becomes Robin

We begin, thankfully, with a straightforward fact. Tim’s first storyline spans Batman #440-442 (1989). The arc is called A Lonely Place of Dying, and we already talked about it. Tim, having watched Batman and Robin from the shadows for years, comes forwards in the aftermath of Jason’s death in an attempt to convince Dick to become Robin for a second time.

Batman #441 (1989)

We know that Tim was 13 years old at the time, but I do need to clarify exactly what time that was— an indeterminate amount of time after Jason’s death.

The word that pops up a couple of time in Tim’s first arc is “months,” from Tim and Two-Face. How many months? Who’s to say.

Batman #442 (1989)

So, from the top. We know that Bruce was eight when his parents died, 26 when he became Batman, 27 when he met Dick, 28 when Dick became Robin, and 34 when he met Jason.

Dick was 12 when he met Bruce, 13 when he became Robin, 19 when he left home and Jason became Robin.

Jason was 12 when he became Robin.

Bruce is 15 years older than Dick. Bruce is 22 years older than Jason.

Dick is 7 years older than Jason.

How long was Jason Robin? Unknown, but somewhere between two and three years. At that point, he died. “Months” after that, Tim was 13.

Here, we need to acknowledge that Jason could have been either 14 or 15 at his death, and at the same time, Tim was either 12 or 13. We need to know how far they are apart to calculate Tim’s age in relation to Jason, Dick, and Bruce— ongoing, we will always know exactly how old Tim is, so (if we know how far apart Jason and Tim are) we will always know Bruce, Dick, and Jason’s age from there.

How much older than Tim is Jason? Somewhere between one and three years, I guess, but I can’t really go beyond a well-researched guess. In my opinion, there isn’t a straightforward answer for this one.

Having presented my facts, here is my conclusion. Jason was 15 when he died. At the same time, Tim was 13. They are two years apart.

Why? To begin, I’m more comfortable using the number we already have for Tim, 13, than I am dropping him to 12 on the mere possibility that he could have been 12.

Second, even though The Batman Files (2011) is a terrible source, it does at least sort of indicate that the official DC position is a Jason who was 15 years old at his death.

Third, visually speaking, Jason looks closer to 15 than 14 at his death. Is that good evidence? No, absolutely not. Comic book art is definitionally variable, but I am going to pull a few panels for you to look over.

Batman #427 (1988)

Finally, I feel that Jason and Tim are, in later works, treated as if they are different ages. I’m not going to go into much detail on that one because it is purely a personal reaction, but I would refer to Teen Titans #29 (2005) as an example. That issue has Jason and Tim’s first meeting, after Jason comes to the tower specifically to attack Tim.

Teen Titans #27 (2005)

Another well-known issue to check out is Teen Titans #47 (2007).

My basic position is that there are so many ways, all uncertain, to slice Jason and Tim’s ages that I can take my pick. I chose the ones that most closely mirror later canon, fall most squarely into the possible range, and feel the most intuitively right.

They also have the benefit of simplicity, which was very much a factor.

Don’t agree with me? Fair enough. I think I’ve given you enough information to make an educated judgment, and I’ve also gone ahead and made a timeline in the alternative. In this one, Jason was 14 at death, and he and Tim are only one year apart.

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In the Alternative

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Cass appears

Having progressed beyond Jason and Tim’s age gap, we reenter simple canon. I hope you’re as pleased as I am.

Cass was 17 years old at her first appearance, which we can establish easily based on two different issues. Cass first appears in Batman #567 (1999), during an arc called No Man’s Land. At the time, she is working for Barbara Gordon in the aftermath of an earthquake that destroyed most of Gotham. We learn Cass’s backstory through that issue.

Cass’s biological father is David Cain, a villain, who raised Cass in isolation, never exposing her to a verbal language or allowing any kind of socialization. By comic book logic, her upbringing gave her a near-superhuman ability to understand and anticipate physical actions, as those actions are her only form of communication.

Cain trained her as a child assassin, then took her to her first kill. Cass murdered a man and experienced, through his body language, the pain he felt at his death. Immediately afterward, she ran away from her father.

Batgirl #62 (2005)

We know that Cass was eight years old when she killed and ran. We also know that her first appearance in Gotham was nine years after she ran, thanks to Barbara Gordon’s file.

Batgirl #1 (2000)

Simple enough. She was 17. How old was everybody else? We find out from Tim’s timeline.

This next bit will come up a few times. We know that Tim was 15 from at least 1993 to 2003, established by three different issues. We know from Detective Comics #668 (1993) that Tim was 15 during Knightquest, the arc where Jean-Paul Valley was briefly Batman. Barbara tells us in 2002 that Tim is still 15, and Tim turns 16 on-panel in 2003.

In Knightquest, Tim gets his driver’s license early, at age 15, because Jack Drake is in a wheelchair. I suppose the wording here is ambiguous on a technicality, but I don’t think there’s any significant argument against Tim being 15; if he was only 14, the language would be different.

Detective Comics #668 (1993)

Next, in Batgirl #24 (2002), Barbara says she’s “sending a 15 year old” as she reaches for Tim’s com line.

Batgirl #24 (2002)

We could stop here for Cassandra’s appearance, since that happened in 1999, between the 1993 issue and the 2002 reference. For completion’s sake, however, let’s note that Robin #116 (2003) is about Tim’s 16th birthday. He forgets about it, so his step-mother throws a surprise party.

Robin #116 (2003)

Okay, so Tim was 15 when Cass appeared at age 17. That puts Bruce at 39, Dick at 24, and Jason at 17 if you’re counting by years elapsed since his birth.

Bruce met his daughter when he was 39 and she was 17, in reference to my original question. Cass is 22 years younger than Bruce, seven years younger than Dick, the same age as Jason, and two years older than Tim.

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Dick is adopted

This one, having already established Tim’s timeline, is very simple. Dick was adopted in Gotham Knights #17 (2001).

Gotham Knights #17 (2001)

Again, Tim was 15 from 1993 to 2003, and 2001 falls within that range. Tim was 15, which makes Dick 24 and Bruce 39.

At this point in the timeline, Bruce, a 39 year old, has two adopted children, one of whom is deceased as far as Bruce is concerned. His adopted children are (17) and 24. He has already met two of his future children, Cass and Tim.

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This is PART ONE. I’ll reblog Part Two onto this post when I wake up, which should be around the same time this posts.

#PART ONE of two #I'm going to reblog the last 10 pages onto this post as soon as it comes off the queue #timeline #mine #really lame that I can fit 50 pages into a post but then the last10 is too much

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written-beyond-the-grave · 3 years

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Mikaelsons Black History Month

First off, I’m starting by saying that even though it is no longer Black history month it will always be melanin everyday and black people every day. And everything else under the sun, and if you don’t like it then the exit is to your left. Everything you own in the box to the left

Being part of the Mikaelsons is very fickle business and be some bs. Like really, you’re here with supernatural beings who are over 1000 years old. Who have traveled the world, gained endless knowledge, seen a lot of bloodshed, but you know what they haven’t seen? Their token human (black ofc) being ignant for black history month, I mean who even fully celebrates? How does one even celebrate?

Granted, they’re not racist. But with the writing Julie Pleck did she was playing honestly. That was the worst writing I've ever seen since who knows when. Maybe the nine lives of Chloe king or something? But in my originals universe they were probably racist in the beginning to an extent then grew out of it.

Anyways, they never met someone who celebrated until they met you!

Now repeat after me: I’m black y’all, and I’m black y’all. And I’m black and black and black y’all! FYM

Now…. picture this: A moderately quiet day in the Mikaelson household. Kol is minding his business for once, Rebekah is trying to find the perfect pics for her next instagram post, Elijah is enjoying a good read, and Klaus is organizing his art materials. But then here comes you, the human, opening the door and walking right in like you pay bills (none of them do but you get the picture) in the midst of the most deadly people. Walking in and greeting everyone, walking in with the most hotep, Dr. Umar bullshit getup they ever seen. Coming to America headass.

They recognize your footsteps from a mile away, so when you walk into the kitchen and no one really looks up at first it’ll be a sight to see a whole ass pelted lion on your back. The kente cloth hat (no idea the actual name for it, sorry babes), a saber tooth necklace (for my mans T’Challa), and the red stiletto nails with the afro out here banging.

SHEEEEEEEEESH

Once Elijah is done with his page he looks up to greet you, but then stops… Bitch, fuck is you wearing? This was worlds away from the sweats, and skinny jeans you wore on the daily.

“Greetings Y/N you look…. Fashionable.” Mans didn’t know what to say. Did he miss something about your Africna roots? Was there a holiday he hadn’t heard of, doubt it, but what else was there?

“Thank you Elijah.” You fluff out your lion pelt for added effect, if there was ever going to be one time you outdo the Mikaelsons’ especially Elijah in being dramatic with a coat or cloak of somesort, it would be now.

At this point the Kol and Rebekah have already looked up and were confused. Why are you dressed like that?

Kol is the first one to speak up “Darling, Rebekah likes a fashion show more than anyone, but why do you have a lion… on your shoulder.”

Lifting up your large ass shades you supplied an answer: “Black History Month”

They all looked at each other… they didn’t get it. Like they know what it is, but never actually understood how to celebrate and all that nor did they ever actually give it mind. When you saw that they weren’t making a connection, you started phase 1.

“Alexa, you know what to do.”

And there goes their manor playing: NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA I’M ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NIGGA

LMFAOOOOO you got the white people shook. Klaus just dropped one of his expensive ass bottles of art sealants and is vamp speeding to the kitchen to figure out what the hell is going on. Elijah having a mid century crisis on how tf they even found you and deemed you worthy of being in their presence so casually. Kol is having fun in the back, still laughing at your get up. And Rebekah wishes she went to the mall instead, she wanted a girl bestie and got you instead rip

“WHAT IN BLAZES- Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DO- WHAT ARE YOU WEARING! ALEXA STOP THE MUSIC-” And the big bad wolf has arrived. You put your finger to Klaus’ lips which stuns him bc… you’re still HOOOMAN like damn, death wish much? And you look this man, straight in his mit and say “Looks at, look at me” and pause for dramatic affect, “I am the captain now”

Room silent as hell till Kol starts cackling

You’ve made Dr. Umar proud, the ancestors are shining on you once again

With that you lead into a whole speech about the black struggle and black history month, bottom line: REPARATIONS. Because being the only nigga in the Mikaelsons (we don’t claim Marcel) is exhausting, white people shit everyday that you complain about in their faces

TBH at this point they’re indulging you in this escapade.

First victim is Elijah, you ask for his wallet. He gives you a look, I mean he does technically give you what you want and whatever (when y’all dating, refer back to my dating Elijah post), so he ask you why. Reparations sis why, but then you stop yourself. This man gives you his wallet every other day, half the time you not even asking. What could you rob this man of…. Ah. You ask him for the deed of one of his estates in Prague, why? Because you bitches can’t even spell Prague. And under section S line 45 subsection Y it does state that estates are eligible for reparations. Fuck 40 acres and a mule, you got 300 acres, some stallions in the back, a quite possibly haunted mansion, and a heavy dicked (yeah I said it, a sis been trying to reality shift) original who will turn you out by the end of the day and the end of the month…. Wait till women's history month boo

We know his pockets figgity fat, and it would be figgity wack to not get some

Ngl you take Kol with you so he can buy you food. Granted, he knows what you’re doing, but if he’s going to spend money on anything it will be thawed and it will be music. However, one thing leads to another and you’re both at Wal-Mart waiting to find a parking spot. You stole one off a white minivan trying to move in. Not thinking anything of it because who in this small ass Mystic Falls ass, clown ass town really about it? Apparently Karen.

But you know who else what about it? Kol (tbh mans had nothing but time, and he claims you so why tf not.) he out here NY stomping on her and coming at her for badly glued extensions. Cheap ass bitch, ain’t even blend in correctly.

After that Kol and you left with some groceries, a new story to tell, and a chopped cheese.

With Klaus, he frfr wasn’t finna do shit. Being ordered my a human? Lmfao, go find another simp sis. But… once you suggest that his art skills may not be up to par on what you have in mind as a new family room piece for your house he’s all ears. He knows what you’re doing, but… he still wants to prove you wrong. But anyways, you give him a theme… reverse racism. IK y’all, it’s not a thing, but mans has ideas. And he outdoes himself. That and the recreation of the moorish chief bc that man...mmmmm that man was giving.

Ok so Google wanna hoe me, but there was a painting of a black man in a kkk cloak and behind him were white people being hung from a tree. Say what you want, but that photo was fire. If any of you seen it please share it below.

Anyways

Rebekah tbh wants no part in this, but I feel like she’d gave when you ask her to give you all the finest dresses bc it’s an excuse to exhaust Klaus’ money.

Through the month you give the Mikaelsons a run for their money, and maybe sanity. Klaus is in the back trying to research who tf Dr. Umar is and why is he your inspiration

They had to pull you back when the sheriff asked you for your ID. You ask why you needed white man paperwork!

You are pleasing the spirits, what bonnie could never do lmfaooooo. The powers of you enemies aren’t prospering this month nor next month.

You’re not poor this month, anything you poor of is pouring a little more (bars nigga)

LMFAOOOO imaging asking the fam to go to paris, like, they not invited it’s a self trip funded my the Mikaelson Y/N Trust Fund of Public Decency ™

Klaus would be the first one to speak because this man is TIRED, “Love, why do you need a trip to paris? What’s in Paris?”

Knowing better, you look to Kol to answer the question, “I don’t know, Kol, who’s in Paris?” Niggas b. Niggas in paris…. Lemme chill

LMFAOOO enjoy

#klaus mikealson x reader #klaus mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #elijah mikealson x reader #tvd x reader #the originals #black reader #black!reader #poc!reader #poc reader #niggasbelike

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marytvirgin · 4 years

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Hurricane - Santino D’Antônio

My first post here on the site. I'm sorry if it didn't look good. English is not my first language (I am Brazilian and I used Google Translate to do this). (The fact that I read almost everything in English but only know how to write the basics kills me. So I'm sorry if there are any mistakes.) Santino stole my heart, I need more of it to get well! I hope you like it!

________________________________________________________________

You didn't suspect anything the first time you met. How could you? Everything you saw in the man was charming, polite and handsome; the green eyes were always bright as emeralds; the smile made of disguised arrogance, power, glory and above all care. There was also the way he treated you, you felt like a queen every time he kissed the back of your hand, pulled the chair for you to sit on, opened doors for you to pass, offered his arm so you both could walk together, gave you beautiful flowers, he wrote letters by hand containing poems. Small gestures that won your heart.

Over time things happened, but you ignored everything and all the red flags that your brain signaled you. You ignored the security guards who tried to hide from your eyes when you and Santino went out together. You ignored the lack of information about what his “company” worked with. You ignored that gun you found in the nightstand drawer next to his bed. You ignored everything that could end the perfect image of the man you learned to love. You ignored everything, because your world had no more colors than those that color his eyes. You ignored everything because Santino became everything to you. You ignored it until you couldn't. Until the day you were caught by some of the many men who hate Santino. Until the day you waited for him. Until the day he didn't come for you. Until the day you discovered everything he really is. Until you found out that you were not everything to him.

When you were younger you asked your parents where broken hearts go. Now you know they’re not going anywhere, they’re in the chest cutting us off with the shrapnel. Seeing Santino at the door of your apartment months after the kidnapping hurt. It is the first time that you has seen or spoken to him since that day. It hurt more than the rope they used to hold your legs and wrists, more than the slap you got on your face, more than the words they said to you when they realized that Santino wouldn't come for you. That he doesn't love you like you love him.

It hurt.

He seems to want to say something. The lips parted, but the words did not come out. How could he? There was nothing the Italian man could say to fix what was broken in your relationship. His father is the head of Camorra, his sister is the heir and he is only the replacement. Santino's situation is no longer good with his father, insisting with the older man that he needed to save you would only make things worse with his parent. He chose not to screw up with his father. Things are as simple as that, or at least they should be.

Everything should be as simple as the two of you lying in bed on lazy mornings, as passionate kisses, as love nights. But what did you both expect? That you both would live the life of a normal couple? No. Playing house never worked with adults. It doesn't work in your reality. You both wanted the simplicity of love; Santino wanted you, your smile, your voice, your love, your common life; you wanted him, wanted his smile, his accent, his voice, his curls, his love, but never in a million years would you want the life bathed in blood that Santino has. You both wanted the simplicity of love, and that is the problem: love has never been and will never be simple.

Loving is like facing a hurricane. It is having moments of devastation, destruction, chaos and if everything goes well go through it and be right in the center of everything; stay where the world is ending around you, but you are both safe. You and Santino went through your hurricane and are now facing the consequences.

Eye to eye, heart pounding at a thousand miles an hour, tears stinging behind the eyes pushing the pain out; you hold the door handle tightly and give a broken smile at his words.

“Amore, io... mi dispiace. I didn't want us to end up like this. I didn't want us to finish.” He was being sincere, you can see it by his eyes, by his face.

"Me neither. But it's okay, Santino.” Your voice is almost more broken than your heart. Almost.

Now, you finally understand why hurricanes are named after people.

"Goodbye, my love."

The door closes.

The tears fall.

Your Hurricane wins the name of Santino.

#santinodantonio #santino d'antonio #santino x reader #santinofanfiction #john wick #john wick x you #john wick x reader #santino d'antonio x reader

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the-apples-were-monitored · 4 years

Link

She tried to start a lynch mob using the old white lady trick of “two black men demanded drugs then stole my money and phone” as a cover up for murdering her son. Don’t let this slide, I’m literally begging you. Not this time.

This boy was nonverbal, so when he was heard screaming he couldn’t explain to people that his mom was trying to kill him. They only realized after she took him to another canal to drown him that she’d been trying to kill him the first time. Because you guys don’t listen to us. You don’t believe us. You believe the people who do this to us. We end up dead because many of us don’t have a voice and you won’t raise yours with us. You say “he’s in a better place” instead of making this a better place for him

(Article from 23rd May, 2020)

This happens so often. I’m lucky to be alive because I was abused horrifically by people who were trying to “cure” me. Don’t believe me that this is common?

The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (an organization I actually support, as opposed to Autism Speaks) reports that “In the past five years, over 600 people with disabilities have been murdered by their parents, relatives or caregivers.”

Earlier this year, an 8-year-old autistic boy was murdered by his father who had sole custody of him. He called the child a “piece of shit” two days before the child died in a freezing New York City garage in the dead of winter. His father said after the death that he’d been through “more stressful things”. They had home video footage of him beating his children.

His name was Thomas Valva

In 2018, a 5-year-old boy with “ fragile X syndrome, pervasive developmental disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, impulse control disorder and dysphasia” was the subject of 11 different complaints to child services because of suspected abuse, but as was true in my case no action was taken. He died of asphyxiation and a drug overdose. “Brayson suffered a broken arm, broken femur and numerous burns and bruises in the years before his death, court records state. Price withdrew Brayson from school a month later. It was October. By November, he was dead.” (Classic abuse tactic, isolating the victim.) When child services investigated her prior to the death, the mother claimed he couldn’t feel pain.

“Prior to his death, Price googled "Risperidone overdose" multiple times, according to the court transcript. Ingalls searched multiple phrases, including "beat child with fragile X abuse, I want to kill my autistic child, painful ways to die (and) most painful torture."

Ingalls told Price via text message that he hated her son, wanted to buy a ticket to see Brayson take his last breath and thought she should "kill him while he is young and do something with your life before he robs you of any chance of ever being happy or being anything other than a stay-at-home retarded caregiver,"”

really indicative of how you see us, guys

His name was Brayson Price

here we have a woman who is anonymous and said she was “overwhelmed and felt totally alone after her child was diagnosed with autism.” (Like cry me a fucking river, Karen.) Pled not guilty by insanity. She googled suicide attempts and mothers who killed autistic children in the 48 hours before she smothered her 3 year old daughter with a Minnie Mouse pillow. She was convinced the child’s form of autism was “more severe” than it was...which...okay are people who cover this story expecting me to believe it would be justified if it WAS more severe?

Her name wasn’t printed, but she’s not forgotten.

Here we have a Tennessee mother covering up her husband’s abuse and murder of her 5-year-old autistic son

His name was Joe Clyde Daniels

Think this is getting depressing? It’s state enforced

Up to 50% of people killed by police have registered disabilities

911 Can Be a Death Sentence for Blacks in a Mental Health Crisis

Last year, a non-verbal autistic man became agitated and shoved an off-duty police officer when in line for samples at Costco in California. His parents tried to apologize and explain, but the police officer fired on them 10 times - killing him and wounding his parents. No charges were pressed.

His name was Kenneth French

We have a manslaughter charge for a cop killing a 6 year old boy? At least he got 40 years for it?

His name was Jeremy Mardis

I don’t know how many times we have to tell you this before you believe us, but our lives are not worthless. Regardless of what “level of functioning” we’re at (which is already a ridiculous metric because I’m apparently considered high functioning even when I barely hold a job), we’re not burdens and we’re not inherently dangerous. People keep saying they’re in a better place now, but that’s just excusing it. Make HERE a better place! Stop letting these news stories slide! Stop spreading thinkpieces by Autism Speaks lamenting over a poor mother who has been burdened with an autistic child and saying she’s so brave to not murder her child! Hell, sometimes you guys make whole documentaries about mothers who murder autistic children SYMPATHIZING with them! And stop calling cops on autistic people having meltdowns, for fuck’s sake!

Autism isn’t something we suffer from, not inherently! We suffer from the trauma of being forced to live in a world where people abuse and kill us for being different! You keep killing us instead of listening to us! Being non-verbal should NEVER be a death sentence!

I made some posters just because I, too, sometimes need a catch phrase. Feel free to make more.

(Image: “Autism isn’t deadly, ableism is. Stop passively condoning the murder of autistic people. Hear us. Believe us.”)

(Image: “Autism shouldn’t be a death sentence. Neurodivergent children have a higher risk of being bullied and abused. Black autistic children are at a higher risk of corporal punishment at school. 50% of the victims of police shootings are neurodivergent. Hear us. Believe us.)

(Image: “Silence shouldn’t = death. Non-Verbal autistic children are routinely abused and killed by parents because nobody can hear the cries for help. Non-verbal autistic adults are shot by police because they’re assumed to be dangerous. Hear Us. Believe us.”)

Something for my non-verbal or selectively verbal peeps out there.

(Image: Non-Verbal but not silent. Some autistic people aren’t capable of verbal communication. This doesn’t make them undeserving of life or respect. Others can communicate with text or sign or are selectively verbal. It’s important to learn how to communicate with an autistic person in their specific way and to not force them to conform to yours. Practice conflict resolution. Be patient. Hear us. Believe us.)

For people like me who can speak, or for any allies who will stand with us but not talk over us:

(Image: I don’t take my voice for granted. I lift my voice for all those who can’t speak for themselves. I see you. I’m with you. I respect you. You deserve to be here. Hear us. Believe us.)

(Image: Vaccines don’t cause autism. I literally don’t know how to tell you that those findings were debunked over 2 decades ago and you’re bringing back deadly diseases. Autism won’t kill your child. Measles will. I can’t believe I still have to say this. Hear us. Believe us.)

Anyway, that’s my message. I’m sick of this. Feel free to spread this like anti-vaxxers spread measles, because people DO talk about this, but I don’t see NTS willing to do much about it usually. Unfortunately we do need you on our side to hold yourselves accountable.

And it goes without saying that even though this is an autism specific post, this post is also friendly to other types of neurodivergence. We’re all in this (risk category) together.

#abuse tw

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weirdstuff-blog · 5 years

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Me and stephanie dancing up Christian

"ROB SIMS presents KellyMBentley.Com in 2008! "

Female 26 years old ATLANTA, Georgia United States

Last Login: 4/13/2008

I love models and everything to do with the glamour industry. I am seriously into photography. I love to dance and I am currently learning to sing. I am crazy in love with my American Pitt Bull Terrier "Layla" and I love spending time with her playing freesbee with her and my loving fiance Django. I love fast cars preferrably American Muscle. My favorite would be a Trans Am. Long live Cassondra

Music I love all types of music, but my favorite is Classic Rock including the Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, Doors, Def Lepard, AC/DC, Primus, Nine Inch Nail all kinds of artists. I love dancing to hip-hop, but I really don’t have any favorites.

Movies I love chic flicks and cartoons. I’ve never really been a fan of horror flicks. My favs include Notebook, Ratatouille, Sweet Home Alabama, Youve Got Mail…you get where this is going.

Television I love reality shows. I was on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show but I hated it. My favorites shows include Pussycat dolls, ANTM, Ghost Hunters, Dirty Jobs, Rock of Love, Make me a Supermodel….well all of them except American Idol…hate that shit!!

Books I dont read anything but war books and Cosmopolitian magazine. Oh yea and the Bible of course. Heroes All of our American Military men and women especially those close to me….Andrew Goldman, Jason Edmondson, Chris Willis, and my sweet uncle Kurt. Love and appreciate you guys. If you have a friend or relative serving I send me their name and I will post it here to show my appreciation.

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Details

Status: In a Relationship Here for: Networking, Friends Orientation: Straight Hometown: Alabama Body type: Slim / Slender Ethnicity: White / Caucasian Zodiac Sign: Libra Smoke / Drink: No / No Education: College graduate Occupation: Model

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Schools Southern Union State Community College Wadley, AL Graduated: 2002 Student status: Alumni Degree: Associate’s Degree Major: Computer Science

2000 to 2002

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Companies NOPI Motorsports Atlanta, Georgia US Nopi Chic Model

Construction Cuties Atlanta, Georgia US

M Bentley Productions Atlanta, Georgia US

The Kelly M. Bentley is Taking Over the F*cking World!

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Latest Blog Entry [Subscribe to this Blog]

Rob Sims and Kelly Bentley 2008 (view more)

RIDE FOR LIFE…..Relay For Life Charity Event (view more)

Coyote Ugly Episode 5…Thank God its Over! (view more)

National Glamour Showcase Florida (view more)

Coyote Ugly Episode 4 (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Blurbs About me: Its hard to describe myself because I am constantly changing. So to start, above all else, I am a bad ass bartender. I bartend at OPERA Nightclub here in Atlanta, Geogia. Its the biggest and hottest club in Atlanta. I also bartend at the Irish Bred Carrollton where I can fulfill my bar dancing passion to AC/DC, Buckcherry (Crazy biotch!), and Def Lepard. I love serving up cocktails with a little sassy shake some come by either place and check me out!!

Second, I am a model and one of the hottest female entrepreneurs on this planet. In modeling, I specialize in glamour, fitness, and promotional modeling. I always have something going on somewhere. I’m partnering up with NOPI as a NOPI CHIC for 2008. I love doing charity work so keep updated on my events and help us out. As an entrepreneur, I own half of a calendar production company with JM Polsfuss that is responsible for the hottest calendar coming out in 2009 Construction Cuties. Watch for it!! I also just teamed up with get this…yes…The Rob Sims….which we will have my website launched by the end of Spring to help heat up the summer for you. Also watch for all the magazine covers, layouts, spreads, etc. coming soon…I told you guys I’ll be taking over the WORLD!! Lastly, I am a regular girl that had a dream and am still forcing it to come true come hell or high water. I’m from a small town, but I’m working hard to fulfill my big city dreams as well as those of other girls who want to be models with MODELICIOUS. So if you want to try modeling, don’t listen to people when they tell you that you cant do it, they said I couldn’t, and I look at me…so don’t listen, contact me and lets see what we can do. I DONT DO ANYTHING FOR FREE….so don’t ask. I have a small network of professional models I use and promote because they have become friends. Don’t ask for my contacts, because I work hard in promoting and networking myself so why should I just hand over my hard work to you. If you want my network, you pay for my network.

THINGS YOU WOULDN’T GUESS ABOUT ME: No one would ever guess that I used to be in the Army National Guard. I used to be on Active Reserve as the RA for SFC Robert Cornett. I got out in 2005. I also used to wiegh 170 lbs. I gained a huge amount of weight when I quit drinking and smoking. Yea a lot of you thought it would never happen. I quit cold turkey and the turkey went to my ass. I lost 50 lbs. on the Subway diet. I was recently on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show on CMT and hated every minute. I also have a degree in Political Science and Computer Science with a minor in Military Science. Just some cool quirks about me. TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF – The Survey Name: Kelly M Bentley Birthday: October 7th Birthplace: Anniston, Alabama Current Location: Atlanta, Georgia Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Blonde/Brunette..hell I don’t know Height: 5’5" if I’d stand up straight Right Handed or Left Handed: Right Your Heritage: Irish/German &..39;The Shoes You Wore Today:’ My beloved flip flops Your Weakness: Your Fears: airplanes, elevators, and scurrying vermon Your Perfect Pizza: cheese/pepperoni without any sauce Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Be at 8% Body Fat by the end of the year Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I dont even know how to set that shit up… Thoughts First Waking Up: What in the hell are the Backyardigans? Your Best Physical Feature: My big ghetto booty Your Bedtime: When ever my mind decides to quit thinking Your Most Missed Memory: No clue..too much memory lost Pepsi or Coke: Caffeine free coke MacDonalds or Burger King: both are some nasty shit…I dont put it in my body! Single or Group Dates: Cant remember my last date… Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don’t drink any tea Chocolate or Vanilla: Just hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt Cappuccino or Coffee: Caffeine free Coffee Do you Smoke: hell no Do you Swear: I swear I cuss too much Do you Sing: Did you catch my show? Think I’ll stick to the shower. Do you Shower Daily: more than once Have you Been in Love: Only twice for sure Do you want to go to College: Been there done that Do you want to get Married: Umm….when I’m too old to know better Do you belive in yourself: more than anyother person besides Roy Do you get Motion Sickness: Do you think you are Attractive: No but others tend to disagree Are you a Health Freak: Absolutely Do you get along with your Parents: depends on the day of the week Do you like Thunderstorms: love them Do you play an Instrument: In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: don’t drink alcohol In the past month have you Smoked: I quit when I was 20 In the past month have you been on Drugs: hell no drugs are for weak people In the past month have you gone on a Date: I havent gone on a date in the past few years In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No..I hate the mall..I’m in need of another personal shopper In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: yea right…my trainer would shoot me In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I don’t eat fish In the past month have you been on Stage: too many times In the past month have you been Dumped: No In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I wish In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No but someone stole two of my damned portfolios Ever been Drunk: Plastered on many occassions Ever been called a Tease: What girl hasnt Ever been Beaten up: No but I got launched off some steps one time Ever Shoplifted: no I only steal hearts How do you want to Die: at 200mph on the Autobahn What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I’m doing it but not grown up yet What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color: Any that don’t lie Favourite Hair Color: any that I can run my fingers through Short or Long Hair: either Height: all heights Weight: weight doesn’t matter Best Clothing Style: clothes dont make the man Number of Drugs I have taken: Don’t do drugs Number of CDs I own: not too many Number of Piercings: ears and belly button Number of Tattoos: 1 Number of things in my Past I Regret: only 1…if you know me you know what it is

CREATE YOUR OWN! – or – GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Myspace Layouts – Myspace Editor – Image Hosting

Who I’d like to meet: TO ALL MODELS AND PHOTOGRAPHERS: Now that I am partnered up with Robs Sims who is the most published photographer on the planet also owner of FitBeauties and FitModels International Magazines, photographer for Oxygen, MuscleMag, InStyle, American Curves, Maxim, FHM, Mens Health…okay I’m tired already. Too many to list. Google him for the rest…lol. Rob and I will be offering photoshoots to ambitious models with the guarantee to be published. Yes there is a catch. 1)like I said I don’t do anything for FREE 2) Neither does he 3) you have to be approved by me first. Sorry ladies…I have to be picky. Feel free to submit to me for shoots with Rob. I will be honest and give you feedback. WE ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN GUARANTEE YOU PUBLICATION IN MAJOR MAGAZINES.

Posted by dcsmith2752002 on 2008-06-23 13:19:11

Tagged: , KELLY , M , BENTLEY , IN , ATLANTA , GA , NIGHT , LIFE , BASIC , BLACK , FORMAL-WEAR , AND , CASUAL , -WEAR , ATTIRES

The post Me and stephanie dancing up Christian appeared first on Good Info.

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hzcleski · 5 years

Text

hello friends! you probs know who i am already but if not hello! i’m sam aaand this is my newish muse! i played hal here for a minute one time but i’ve decided to give him a huuuuge revamp so character info is under the cut! lmk if you wanna plot! messaging me @ellvie is probably easiest!

╰☆╮ DYLAN O'BRIEN ─ HAL ZALESKI identifies as CIS MALE and uses HE/HIM pronouns. they’re a FORMER OLYMPIAN/NHL PLAYER, and they’re only TWENTY THREE ! they’re said to be CAPABLE, but also TURBULENT. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE LEGACY in the tabloids.

quick disclaimer that this is a sideblog so i might post to the wrong account sometimes

other disclaimer a lot of my hockey information is from google ok

nathan harold zaleski jr was practically born with a pair of skates on, which makes sense considering his family is hockey royalty. his father is nathan harold zaleski sr, aka a legend and one of the biggest names in sports to this very day. olympic gold medalist several times over, beloved longtime defenseman for the toronto maple leafs, at the very peak of his career and married to a beautiful wealthy socialite when his only child was born.

listen...this is an au where the maple leafs are good or like, had one genuinely good star player in nathan sr. okay thanks for coming to my ted talk!

he’s got dual citizenship because he was born in canada even though he hasn’t lived there since he was ten, but his parents were us citizens, which doesn’t seem important but WAIT FOR IT

nathan jr, who would begin going by the nickname of hal early on in life, probably learned how to skate before he even learned how to walk because of course he did. his father’s intention was always to have another him. i mean for fuck’s sake they have the exact same name. hal’s purpose in life has never been in question, not by him or anyone who’s ever seen him play.

his natural talent for hockey became apparent from a very young age, which didn’t surprise anyone ofc. his father saw it as a sign and began pushing him even harder, hiring the very best trainers and coaches to help perfect his game while nathan sr focused on his own career.

except that he was running out of steam and fast. nothing happened like there was no huge scandal or career ending injury. nathan sr was just...getting old. fans were simply losing interest in him as newer and younger players joined the league and there was nothing he could really do about it except make sure his legacy lived on.

hal was ten years old when everything seemed to finally fall apart. his dad was hanging on to the very last threads of his career, let go from the maple leafs and almost certainly picked up by the new york rangers purely out of pity. meanwhile, hal’s parents finally divorced which he took almost alarmingly well for a ten year old, but it’s not like his parents were ever a shining example of a deep, loving marriage. they spent years settling the divorce, fighting back and forth while suing the shit out of each other across whole fuckin countries. lowkey they almost wound up being more famous for the legal drama than they were for hockey.

hal’s dad finally retired when he was twelve, won sole custody of him when he was fourteen, and pulled enough strings to get him a spot on the canadian hockey team dual citizenship! going to the 2010 vancouver winter olympics when he was just a teenager, making him one of the youngest players to ever compete in the games.

and canada won gold that year so hal was making history again in no time, being one of the youngest players to ever become a gold medalist in the winter olympics. now he didn’t actually see a lot of playing time that year. his skill was undeniable, but no one seemed to think that he was ready for the big time rush. tbh they probably weren’t wrong, but nevertheless his name and his win made an impression on everyone.

up until that point hal was homeschooled bc ofc education came second to hockey, but he always wanted to attend an actual school and he did! after his first olympics his dad finally sent him to the same private school in the city as all the other rich kids and it was...weird! he started in the middle of the year and was instantly an outsider among his classmates. everyone else had known each other all their lives so hal immediately at a disadvantage. it didn’t help that he’d never really...had a single friend before. tbh his peers were probably intimidated by him. he was just a high schooler and already an olympic gold medalist like...ofc no one wanted to be the person to go approach him and say hi.

played for canada again dual citizenship! at the 2014 winter olympics in sochi when he was eighteen and this time HE WAS THE STAR. absolutely at the top of his game. anyone who still thought that he was a joke before the games started shut up real quick when he won his second gold medal.

he got home and was eventually drafted into the nhl, so he sorta ditched school oops. technically he finished but like...barely since he went back to being tutored for the last few months.

several teams wanted him and tried to throw a shit ton of money at him, but hal settled on the new york rangers with a huge multi million dollar deal

he quickly stole hearts on and off the ice. whether fans admired his skill or followed him during the olympics or remembered his father, for one reason or another he was winning people over left and right. unsurprisingly he’d go on to win the 2014-2015 rookie of the year award, presented to him by the president of the nhl and everything.

he did not attend the 2018 winter olympics in pyeongchang as the nhl famously refused to release their players. hal himself was a major part of the uproar. the whole country of canada dual citizenship! practically threw a fucking fit bc the nhl was disqualifying their star player from winning them their third gold medal in a row and hey big surprise...canada didn’t win gold in 2018 :)

hal’s in the middle of his fifth i think? year of pro hockey rn and so far his career has been solid. his dad is really pushing him to sign with a “better team” and he has gotten offers, but he isn’t really interested. he likes playing for new york & he likes living in new york. maybe someday....maybeeee....but for right now he’s happy with where he is.

okay now for some fast facts!

literally always looks like he just got into a fight, probably bc he just did during his last game. is usually sporting some injury like a black eye or split lip or cut cheek. fortunately hasn’t completely given in to the hockey player stereotype by getting all of his fuckin teeth knocked out...yet

notice that i hardly mentioned his mom? that about sums up their relationship tbh. hal was practically raised by nannies and trainers. his mom always had some brunch or gala or public appearance she was far more invested in. literally she didn’t even really...want custody of him when she divorced his dad, but she claimed to just to be petty and give nathan sr an even more difficult time. yeah they kinda hate each other now and since hal has always been closer to his dad, his mom isn’t even really that interested in seeing him lmao. she’ll call like once a month and invites him to brunch if she happens to be in the city, but ngl hal probably hasn’t seen her in like...a couple years at the least. he’s not really broken up about it either.

right so...walking talking endless pit of daddy issues? you bet! just because hal prefers his dad doesn’t mean that they get along or that his dad is a good person. he still has his perfect public image and he isn’t complete garbage but...yeah their relationship is extremely toxic. he’s always been very harsh with hal, pushing him and pushing him to be the best bc nothing he accomplishes is ever good enough.

so what if he's won two olympic gold medals? so what if he was rookie of the year? so what if he’s considered one of the best and most beloved players in the nhl? he can do more, he can be even better. his dad is a constant voice in his head even though he’s always around anyway. he never misses a game or an opportunity to point out hal’s every flaw.

ofc as a result hal’s always been very hard on himself. every single day of his entire life has been spent basing his self worth off what his father thinks of him. it was awful for his self esteem bc no fucking duh.

HOWEVER. it isn’t public knowledge at this time, but as of right now? hal’s relationship with his father is falling apart faster and faster by the moment. they’re a ticking time bomb & it’s literally only a matter of time before they explode yikes!

fortunately hal could sorta sense the direction things were heading and did something about it. he finally moved out when the hockey season started back in october and he’s been feeling better ever since. like he has more control over his life even though his dad is still WAY too involved.

personality: a douchebag who means no harm, mostly because he's never really trying to be a jerk. tends to come across as a typical meathead jock for good reason bc that’s exactly who he is. in conversation he's usually very blunt and a little awkward bc he’s still learning how to socialize with others. hockey is basically his whole life so it’s all he knows how to talk about, which can either be endearing or annoying. a genius hockey player, but a ditz in every other area. very short - tempered and impulsive. always means well and wants the best for those he cares about, but might go about expressing those feelings in a weird way bc he was never taught how to properly deal with his emotions.

CONNECTIONS

family

step sibling he grew up with - sabrina miller

paternal cousins - warren daily and wren daily

cousin by marriage - rosalind cox

maternal cousin - open. his mom is polish for reference!

romantic

girlfriend - genesis iver

ex fiancée - ginny baker

ex on good terms - margo massey

ex who cheated on him - isla thompson

former fwb - amethyst armenta, open to more.

former toxic on / off relationship - reese monroe

exes, open to more.

hal has a ton of other exes and i don’t feel like listing them tbh all so i’m just gonna assume that y’all know who you are ok

platonic

best friend 5ever - marialena goldstein

confidant - open.

family friends - sullivan ramsey, open to more.

childhood friends - open to more.

close friends - open to more.

friends - mia kauri, chance kauri, theo cannon, angel almeida, open to more.

bickering friends - open to more.

workout buddy - open.

negative

on bad terms - kennedy drakos, jay weston, open to more.

these are just a few plot ideas! i’m most definitely open to other stuff so if you have any ideas please free to share! i think that’s enough from me soooo yeah! mssg me if you wanna plot & as always i’m super excited to write with everyone!

#excessintro #toxic people tw #i'm not sure if that's tag buuuut yeah!#hope you enjoy feel free to message for plots!

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ninety-eightpointsix · 5 years

Photo

My life-long obsession with Waluigi started all the way back in 1992 when I first saw a commercial for Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins. Or at least, that’s when the seeds were planted, when I was first introduced to “the wicked impostor Wario.” To make a long story short, you can’t have Bizarro Mario without Bizarro Luigi, that’s just crazy! In the very next game, Wario was actually the ‘hero’ so it’s not like he was some one-shot villain, he was an actual character joining the Marioverse. The ever growing Waluigi-shaped void became more and more pronounced as Wario joined more spin-off titles, until Nintendo and Camelot finally delivered... eight full years later.

Now, that is an extremely long time for a kid, or for anyone, so I set out to create my own. The most obvious problem was the name, as I could never figure out how to pronounce 7uigi. The closest I got was Sev-en-igi where the ‘u’ is silent or something? I had never thought of flipping the L rather than rotating it and getting Γ (gamma) which is okay because there’d be no way to look something like that up before the internet without talking to someone and having them tell you it looks like a Greek letter. But if that incredibly unlikely scenario had happened, I could have named him Gamma Luigi! Yes, Mama Luigi had obtained meme status in 1991, long before all you posers ‘discovered’ it on YouTube. But anyway, finding nothing but dead ends, I named him ‘Vinnie’ because... it’s an Italian name... that’s it. Also, just like how Wario’s mustache looks like two W’s, Vinnie’s could look like two V’s... just imagine my surprise when this actually became canon! (The mustache design, not the name)

All that was left was the design, and I kinda cheated a little, I basically envisioned him as looking like ‘Bad Cabinet Art Mario’ from DKJr, only recolored. So, essentially, every single OC ever. But I wasn’t trying to be original, I’m trying to fill in the horribly conspicuous gap Nintendo had left us with. I never actually drew him, because one: our local Chuck E. Cheese’s had gone out of business by 1993, if they would of even still had that arcade, and two: it’s not like I was going to bring tracing paper to a restaurant and try to explain what I was doing. But if I had ever drawn traced him, he would have looked something like this, only with the pointed mustache and a Wario nose, and the pointed ears, and those black eyes... or whatever. At this point in time, Nintendo was inconsistently switching between light and dark blue pants and even giving Luigi purple sometimes, that was all going to stop. In my world, the Mario Brothers wore indigo pants, and the Wario Brothers wore purple pants (refer to my Cyan versus Indigo rant), and Waluigi Vinnie’s unique color was cyan. (I’m having some trouble with the recoloring tool, you all know what cyan looks like, right?) In a strange turn of events, this also explains why Wario is the only member of the quartet with white instead of gold buttons... because that one ‘double-chin’ image has white buttons... yeah. This is neither here nor there, but my horribly crappy CRT television at the time Mario Tennis came out actually made Waluigi’s purple look much bluer and I was kinda miffed that his outfit actually turned out to be dark purple instead of blue-purple... they were sooo close.

Basically this post boils down to ‘they stole my idea’ only my idea was not only inevitable, but the actual design was stolen right back from them anyways. So I was happy for several years... until it became apparent that there was never going to be any backstory... like ever. And my mind started wandering, and now that Google was a thing I was able to see all of the inconsistent artwork of early Mario, I eventually came up with a theory... A Game Theory. Like most Game Theories, this one is 100% false and was only a possible origin story for the Wario Brothers, or only possible if you ignore a bunch of things and give too much weight to other things. What if Wario wasn’t just some guy who envied Mario to the point of dressing up like him and mimicking his name and stuff, what if he actually was the original Mario, from the original universe? Based on the one art picture where Mario has a double-chin, which it was only just now, making this gif that I realized I may have mistaken one of his jowls for a chin line. And his brother is the other Mario in Donkey Kong Jr’s opening, which everyone always forgets about. Before Luigi was ‘Green Mario’ he was just another Mario, no unique name, no unique colors; Nintendo doesn’t even count it as a real appearance, instead citing the original Mario Brothers as Luigi’s first appearance.

This was before Mario Galaxy, so there was no reason to have an original universe and a current one yet, but somehow bad cabinet art Mario & Luigi of Earth2 ended up on Earth1. Wario sets SML1&2 in motion, but Luigi2 stays hidden either from depression, or because he simply can’t figure out what to call himself. Maybe he even considers Sev-enu-igi for a time, as a nice little nod to myself. An extra bonus is this could be used to explain the Cranky Kong discrepancy. In the current canon, Mario and Donkey Kong the third are both born on the same day, as well as five other star children. This way adult DK1 and Jr can fight adult BCA-Mario, then grow old, and I don’t know the BCA-Mario Twins get lost in a time warp or something. There’s a lot of bugs to work out if I was ever going to actually do anything with this. But I wanted to get it out there... how my OC ‘became’ Waluigi by complete coincidence, and my strange fixation with mixing DC comics and Nintendo properties. Also there’s something similar to Psycho-Pirate (Roger Hayden) going on with Wario where Post-Crisis it was revealed the the multiverse now only exists in his mind. So, where all this stuff did actually happen, as far as the rest of the universe is concerned, these two unknown people have serious psychotic issues and claim to be the ‘original Mario Brothers from another universe’ and need serious therapy.

Extra also, all the humans on Earth2 have pointed ears for some reason? Elves don’t though, like Link and Zelda, and the cast of Jak & Daxter... they all have rounded ears. And apes don’t... so that explains Cranky... or would it be better to obtain elf ears magically later for some magic reason? Should I even mention my crackship of Waluigi x Pauline? I don’t know, it’s late... or now early... I’ve been ranting for too long. It’s time to queue and fall asleep.

#Super Mario Brothers

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squeemcsquee · 6 years

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Anime Midwest 2018, Day 2

Ah, Day 2. Aka, the day I forgot to really mark things in my program guide, so I’m having to read the schedule now, 9 days later, to figure out what I did.

Can I repeat my wish for AnimeCon.Org to create or pay to utilize an app that will let you highlight panels/take notes/etc? Please?

Day two’s morning started with another visit to the manga library. I didn’t stay long, but even just popping in briefly was a nice way to get my day going. From there, I wandered over to the “Two Guys Walk Into the Internet” panel so I could see Linkara and The Last Angry Geek again.

This was the panel to attend if you wanted to get not just info on YouTube experience and their preferred reviewing styles, but also the recent Channel Awesome debacle from April of this year. Some of it was what I knew from the Twitter thread and the Not So Awesome Google doc, but some of it was not stuff I’d known. And it’s sad to know that The Geek took a big hit to his viewing and subscriber base when he cut ties with the site. From what I saw of him during Midwest, he seems a cool guy, and I’ll be looking into his channel more.

From there, nothing really caught my eye for the next hour, so I decided to check out the game room, and man, I wish I had spent more time there. Honestly, I haven’t dabbled in the gaming rooms as much as I’ve been tempted, because of the “funk” that usually pervades them. But Midwest’s game room smelled just fine, and looking at the games on display, I was like a kid in a candy store. From giant-sized games meant to be laid out on the floor to classic board and card games, from games aimed at younger players, to games for adults, to all ages...seriously, the people they’d partnered with had it all. And the game room staff knew their stuff! I spotted a copy of Betrayal at the House on the Hill and was talking to @shbumi about it, and a staffer overheard and joined in. I love that game - it does not love me back.

If I do another Anime Midwest, I am going to have to spend more time in this area, that’s for sure!

After that, it was time for the Bad Music Videos panel with V is for Villains. Only one band member was on hand, but he made the panel a blast. Instead of my usual pic from the panel (even though I stole @lechevaliermalfet ‘s phone to take one), I’m going to include one of the videos shown. This one is a classic, so you may have seen it before:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC35cQKHwzg

I’m glad that this is a staple V is for Villains panel because I found it entertaining and wouldn’t mind sitting it again sometime.

Also, I need to thank @shbumi - while I was at this panel, she was out trying to catch a shiny Articuno for me. The raids in the area didn’t pan out, but I appreciate her making the effort!

I wandered for a bit, then I checked into the tail end of the “Sexy Multimedia Q & A with D.C. Douglas” panel, since I knew he’s funny to listen to.

I went back through the dealer’s hall and artist alley after the panel. I stopped to say hi to a friend of a friend in the AA, and snagged a copy of her comic.

I haven’t gotten around to reading it yet (I’m bad about that - I snag indie comics at cons, then they sit on my shelf for quite a while) but I’m looking forward to it!

This was my other score for the artist alley during that time:

@falsedelusion does absolutely gorgeous work and I was happy to find art for Violet Evergarden, since Violet could be considered my latest anime waifu.

After dropping my comic and print in the room and grabbing some food, I went back to the con for some people-watching before going to the “Great Graphic Novels You Should Be Reading” panel.

This is another one I’ll probably have to attend again. See, the manga librarian apparently updates it every 2 weeks. And she’s got waaaayyyy more titles to choose from than you might think. Everything she recommended during the panel, she had on hand in the manga library. She also gave out personal recommendations for attendees, if asked.

I did end up taking photos of each slide, though I didn’t take notes of what was said. Still, I can do a photo post of what was recommended that weekend, at least.

From there, it was time for the “Women in Anime, TV, Film, and Beyond” panel.

I tried to like this one - I really did. It was nothing against the women who were answering questions and talking about the industry. It had everything to do with the setup. See, to even get a clear view of who was talking, you needed to either be up front or super tall. I don’t know how the A/V setup would work, but this particular panel is one that would have benefited from using the projector to show the image of who was talking and when. Since I couldn’t see from where I sat (my photo was taken by holding up my phone way about my head), it was hard to follow who was talking. In the end, I had to leave - I just couldn’t focus.

The evening was moving on so I snagged some free ramen, then headed off to the “LGBT Equality in Anime and Games” panel, which was 18+. The staffer checking my ID recognized my cosplay as the Impala from Supernatural, which was awesome.

(Side note: my favorite moments from Saturday were the one I just mentioned and running into Sam, Dean, and Cas cosplayers and taking a photo with them.)

I don’t know that I’m as familiar with Oscar Seung’s work, but I can say this: Hearing him sing and play the violin was awesome! And it was funny to hear how he’ll stop, mid-conversation, if he learns he has a voice role for Funimation - he takes his prep that seriously. Which is great, but I would hate to be the one talking to him at the time!

After that was “So You Think You Can Broadway.” This was easily the panel I was most conflicted about, after attending it. See, here’s the panel description, from the program:

“Are you suddenly bursting in song? Being “Pulled” in a new direction? Can’t seem to “Wait for It” or “My Shot”? Do you think being on stage has always “Meant To Be Yours”? Then you might have caught the Broadway Bug. Let us “Whip Into Shape” and see if you have the guts to survive the stage.”

It was a Jeopardy-style panel. Okay, fine! I like Jeopardy! But a lot of the rules seemed to be sorted out as we went: how to divide into teams, how teams would give answers, how many turns before allowing the other team a chance at the board, etc. People were having fun - including me - but there were grumbles at times about how the uncertain rules were causing possible unfairness in the judging process.

The panel ended with the option to sing in front of the judges and be told if they thought you were Broadway-material or not.

After that, it was time to wait in line for the conclusion of my evening: The Forbidden Fandom Dames Broadway Burlesque Adventure!

It was only in line waiting for this event that I learned that Anime Midwest had wristbands for 18+ events, just like the parent company had done for Anime Zap!.I’ve since looked over the program booklet to see if this was mentioned anywhere, but it wasn’t.

The room was packed, and it was an amazing experience. All involved were incredibly talented and entertaining. I admire their confidence in being able to perform and show some skin in front of a room of strangers.

It was a great way to end the day.

All of my Anime Midwest 2018 Coverage:

#anime midwest #anime midwest 2018 #con review #con writeup #prose and cons

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thedappleddragon · 3 years

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ok time for 2 days worth of journaling

yesterday I discovered that if I take half of a mini bagel (because the store was out of bagel things), put on cream cheese and a slice of salami, you can make a pretty good bagel bite. I talked with my dad for a while about college things when he came home from work and brought groceries. I also made a frozen chicken Laredo pasta thing for dinner and ended up sharing it with my mom. dad and I shared ideas for what to add to it next time to make it better. I started with chopping up spinach, because I know it shrinks a bunch and is easy to hide in stuff. I want to try adding a little salt, maybe some garlic and onion, parmesan cheese, more greens, a bunch of stuff. idk. I like pretending to be a chef. but I talked with my ad about what kind of stuff I'll need for college, and how I'll probably need to buy real clothes and makeup so I dont look like a goblin who’s been existing solely in basketball shorts and pajama pants for the past year in quarantine.that;s why I made that post last night about fun girly sleepover or simple-ass makeup tutorial. I tried washing my face with an Olay soap bar, and it left my skin feeling nice but idk how good/bad it actually is for your face since its meant to be a body bar. I real online that a plain dove bar is actually pretty damn good for your face, but Olay was the only thing I had on hand. whatever. i played a bunch of stardew valley as well

I slept like shit last night, waking up at like 4 am and all mr dreams being shades of muted grey and brown and broken up into blocks, idk. I've been having weird abstract dreams and sleeping like shit for the past couple days. I think that's partially what cause my head to spin all afternoon. whenever I moved my head, it felt like my ghost was lagging behind my body if that makes sense. it sucked but got better when I moved around. I had my dad bring me water and Tylenol and then come back a second time to light my candle because he smelled like cigarettes and left the smell in my room. but I realized it was April fools day when I woke up, and contemplated how I was gonna prank my friends. I didnt come up with anything until my sister sent a picture of a crashed white Volvo, saying she failed her driving test. when my mom showed me I didnt believe her for a second, and folded over laughing when my mom was concerned about if it was real or not. I stole that joke and showed it to my 2 friend groups, with panicked misspelled texts to go with it for *authenticity* lmao. both groups fell for it at first, but band friends taking longer to catch on so I had to tell them it was a prank. my gamer friend in the other chat caught me almost IMMEDIATLY with reverse google image searching. but I laughed my ass off for a while either way. I didnt play any stardew today but I did play a little Webkinz. when my sister came back from her driving test, my dad brought home Dairy Queen blizzards and mentioned getting a nice-is dinner takeout :) unfortunately I waited forever for him to bring home food and it never happened. so my sister and I went through the mcdonalds drive through and got served by this absolutely DELIGHTFUL middle aged man who was very nice and funny and I told him she just got her license today. we went home and ate in my sisters room and watched John mulaney’s new in town. I had never actually watched the full special, but through Tumblr memes and a million animatics, I had pretty much seen everything. I had fun tho. we got regular chicken sandwiches when we porobably should have gotten the deluxe ones with lettuce and tomato and source or just gone to Wendy’s. tbh Wendy’s is SO MUCH FUCNKIN BETTER. and the mcdonalds was more expensive than I thought it would be. whatever. if we had gone to Wendy’s, sure we would have gotten better burgers, but we wouldn't have seen that deightful man. anyway earlier today I gave my cat some catnip and she was really cute about it. do cats drool more when they’re high? cuz damn it sure felt like it when she was mashing her face into my hand. for lunch I made a different pasta thing, this time shrimp lomeign. I added spinach and broccoli, which I'm going to do for now and forever because it SLAPPED but my mom was acting like a child, saying broccoli is gross. she had me make spaghetti and proceeded to eat 3 or 4 bowls. I had a couple and went to my room. I realize that I'm typing all this shit WAYYYYY out of order, sorry to me reading back in the future or anyone who bothers to read these. tbh why would you. I hope people dont have my talk tag blocked (thanks for coming to my ted talk) and instead have 2021 daily blocked if they dont want to see these. I still make funny posts sometimes!! that’s also what I tag my art with!! but neither of those people would be able to read this anyway so I'm just preaching to the choir. anyway you’ll be happy to know that my head is no longer spinning, my teeth are nice and clean, I've got my comfy socks and pajama pants on, and I’m ready for bed. eventually. it’s not even midnight yet lmao. I guess I can mention this morning when my cat yelled at me asking to go outside, but it was literally FREEZING and im 100% sure I saw some snowflakes while I was out there for a couple minutes. she got so cold she climbed up on my lap as I was wrapped in my childhood sleeping bag I found in the laundry room. I breathed warm air on her and sat out there for another minute or so, mostly insulated by the sleeping bag, but carried her inside eventually. I didnt want to have to deal with that shit. tbh even tho I just had mcdonalds and it’s almost midnight and I've already brushed my teeth, I'm still a little bit hungry. but I dont know it’s that’s just because I'm lying down and your body takes a little while to tell you when you’re full, or if it’s because I waited for SO LONG waiting for city barbecue or bento cafe that just a burger and fries wasn't enough to cut it. well I'll just sleep it off anyway. you know what’s really cute? my cat laid on my lap and rested her chin on my hand as I typed :) I love her

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #April 2021 daily #2021 daily #wow new mont new tag #Ii gotta change over my calendar to see what the new baby animal will be #march was a baby seel #June is going to ba a money which I think is very homophobic because I HATE MONKIES>:(

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stone-man-warrior · 3 years

Text

January 14, 2021: 6:56 pm:

===================================================

Here we go, see, they only borrowed it for awhile, then gave it back.

Do you know how difficult it is to get one of those?

=======================================

I passed out today after repetitive aerial distribution of poison gas over my house from small airplanes from the Grants Pass Municipal Airport.

I slept most of the day away.

I went outside a little while ago to see what looked like Janice Freeberg’s old Ford F-250 Crew Cab Diesel, cream color, drive past my driveway and drop someone off at Monroe’s and walk into the back to the Offensive Surveillance Travel Trailer there at Monroe’s. The truck came from the south, seemingly was parked at the corner, waiting for me to go outside for walk.

Janice “Jay-Bob” Feeberg is the general of the terror airforce.

The person looked like she was wearing a brown robe, with a black wig.

The airforce is called “Air Support”.

They used to call it “Lufewaffe”, back when John Kitzhabber was Oregon Governor, but the changed the name when Kate Brown took over at Salem.

Only the name changed.

==================

Good news is Google returned the photo of the Spring Loaded Up The Sleeve Card Concealing Device they stole earlier today.

You can buy those from the gift shop proprietor at Mandalay Bay Casino if you know the secret words. They are not that difficult to get anymore, Walmart will have them in stock before the year end.

==============================

7:32 pm:

The Tumblr controls are working the way I have been accustomed to seeing them for the first time in a many weeks.

This progression is as per usual, may not be correct, but this configuration works best of all of the different ways the Tumblr has presented itself when I access it.

Click the link at the top toolbar to get this screen to show up, then choose what I want to do, make a new post happens when you click on the Text icon.

I wanted to edit the previous one, there is something I want to say about lizards, and sloths, so, edit.

When I click that StoneMan icon to the left, it brings up the latest post entry, and that little pencil icon is what I am after, click that rascal to edit.

Then, here we go, editing the previous post to say something about lizards and sloths is happening right there... in that screen...

I had to zoom out, so you can see... I’ll go ahead and zoom some more...

There, now you can clearly see that all is on the same Tumblr post. My Tumblr post.

The Centurylink/Google/Tumblr internet terror consortium is still fucking with me though. They are making the letter “M” go heywire. Letter “M” is delayed, I have to push and hold the letter “M”, then repeat, because it produces no letter “M” each and every time, instead, it’s hit or miss, with the letter “M”. Sometimes, it’s a perfectly functional letter “M” on the keyboard, other times, I have to fight with the Centurylink terror operator who is on the other side of the computer screen fucking with me, by making the letter “M” not always work.

Hit or Miss Letter “M”, comes w/live Centurylink Google terror bastards and Tumblr, includes custom delay, aggravation effects, and live presentation capabilities. Works seamlessly with other similar products. Randomly delivered, as needed. not available in stores.

That, also comes w/bonus features.

The “Two-Click Two-Step”, a favorite of those Google Terror consortium members who need to make it appear as though.... as though everything happens twice on my computer. Have to click the button, then, it does not do anything, so, I have to click the button again, because that is the way they are doing that to aggravate me, make it difficult across the board, not just at Tumblr the Two-Click Two-Step is a global applied little Google bug, that one happens live too, some asshole on the other side of the computer screen making everything very complicated just to do simple tasks.

Those also come w/standard feature of the number pad on/off button. There is absolutely no use for such a button on a computer key board, but, the Num/Lk button is there, on all of the computers that have a separate number pad. Clearly, the only possible use for that, is to provide that there will be a button for the Google/Centurylink/Tumblr internet terror consortium live operators to shut off remotely. The only reason to have such a button, is to turn the fucking thing off, when there is no functionality gained from turning off the number pad, ever.

======

So I log out of the page, post it... for a minute.

The way Tumblr is set up at the factory, when you post an edit, like I just did, the edit is not there. This screen comes back on, but the additional information is not there.

Have remember to refresh the page, with the browser refresh button.

That way, you can see that the information you added, is all there.

Had I not refreshed the page with the browser refresh page button, then, all of the other information I added with the Tumblr edit, would have been vanished when I click the edit again to add yet more, if I don‘t push the refresh page button on the browser.

That is why they made the controls work as they usually have done before the recent changes ... so that I would forget the use the refresh page on the browser button, and have to start over with my discussion of lizards and sloths.

The way the bastards had me accessing in a different way, with all of the other YouTube distraction markings on the Tumblr text box, was such that the Refresh Page w/Browser step to make a post, was not present.

Basically, what I am saying, is much of that other shenanigans that the Google/Centurylink/Tumblr terror internet consortium was doing, was all to train me such that I would forget to refresh the page, when I want to add comment about lizards and sloths onto a post I already made, by using the edit feature on Tumblr.

===================

now the tumblr is back to the way it was working yesterday.

8:40 pm:

That other access way, was only temporary, is not me doing the changes to the way the Tumblr page presents itself.

I figured out why there is a Num/Lk button:

That is there, so that a symbolic Royal Canadian Mounted Police, while disguised as a Oregon State Police, who is working with a Screen Actor Guild fake Oregon FBI agent from Portland FBI HQ, can turn my number pad off, reach through the screen, Jehovah Witness style, and set his coffee cup right there on the number pad... without messing up anything I might want to say about sloths and lizards, and the number pad works real good as a coaster for the coffee cup on the keyboard.

That’s why the Num/Lk is there.

Comes w/ATF. Automatic Transmission Fluid.

Trance Mission Fluid.

youtube

==============================================

9:03 pm:

Counter terror training tool:

Just do this, don’t argue about it, it does not take any extra time or effort to do at least this:

When you see the word “Love” in a piece of music lyric, or, at the Pope’s Pontifex Twitter account, and other places where the word “Love” strikes you, exchange the word “Love” for “Swing of the Sword”, or “Remove Head”.

If you see the word “Love” in association to the word “Are”, that is worse. Then, you exchange the word “Are”, for a primal scream, a war cry, of “Aarrrggghh!”

Do that. You will see more clearly about the Vatican and that they are pirates after you make that a habit to make those two exchanges. It will show you much, without effort, much of the time.

The rules are laid out in a game of Tennis, where “Love” is “Zero”, a shape, “O”, your head, my head, the heads of millions.

The rules for the exchange are also contained in many other places, this song called “Come Down“ by Bush, also says that “Love is Hate”, because the instructions are to:

“Get it wrong, she cut me right back down to size”

When you get the “Love” wrong, it turns to hate, and that produces the cut that takes off the head.

There are much terror instructions, as you might guess, from a band called Bush.

youtube

Jahovah’s Witnesses have a symbolism for obtaining arms through use of Televisions historically, then later for arms through screens of all kinds.

They use images and story telling like this photo, where “The hand of God is witnessed as it reaches through the screen, to turn off the device, to get your attention“

There are many such images on the internet and in Jehovah Witness publications, to say: “(obtain) Arms Through Screens”

The screen becomes the weapon, the weapon weakens the intended victims, the weakened victims are physically attacked with other weapons obtained through screens, by terror soldiers of the Vatican Pirate Ship. The victims are killed, replaced with a terror pirate from the Christian Roster of Scalawags. They assume the identity of the victims, and become armed, as a voting force, where the weapon is the vote that was obtained through the screen to weaken the victim. They vote, for the people who are on the screen, weakening the victims.

===========================================

9:56 pm:

Local terror authorities are preparing to use a story about a dead car battery in some way, to fool federal fools who are far away, “monitoring the situation“, and in that way, are indeed arms through a screen, helping the Christian terror pirates achieve their goals.

The dead battery story could go in a number of directions, one direction will be used to say he dead battery is the reason that I did not make many posts edits today. Another could be that the dead battery is my computer battery, and they could also say the the dead battery is a phone battery, and that I use a phone to access tumblr, as per usual is the story. I don‘t use a phone, I don’t have a smart phone. The dead battery story could be used to say that someone else was unable to access their tumblr account, and that I somehow took advantage of that, and hijacked that other persons account here as they claim to be the author of the information contained here.

I was poisoned today by an aerial gas assault from small aircraft from the Grants Pass Municipal Airport to the extent that I passed out, was unable to do any posts here for many hours. That is why I did not make post entries this afternoon.

The federal far away fools are being fooled by an army of people all working together to keep the fools fooled the way the fools insist on always being fooled all of the time. That way, the arms through the screen, can be obtained with use of federal fools who are far away, and refuse to do their own research, rely on terror soldiers to do all of the research for them.

There will be a story of a dead battery told to fools who are far away. The story may include a photo of someone with a car hood open.

It’s bullshit, there is no dead battery at this time. It’s 10:41 pm. There was no dead battery today, at any time.

I suspect the federal fools called the US national Guard to intervene, if so, and they called any of the Oregon US Guard, all they did was talk to the terror army the took over the bases twenty years ago. All of the US Guard Service Persons, are dead, been dead, are going to stay dead no matter how much praying the federal fools do about it.

If federal fools contacted US Guard anywhere on the West Coast of USA, all across the entire west coast, all they did was manage to launch an attack against me, and put themselves on the RADAR for a seek and kill to happen at their end, wherever the federal fools may be.

THERE IS NO MORE US NATIONAL GUARD!

They were all killed twenty years ago.

Wake the fuck up.

The bases are occupied by the terror pirates. SAG actors are the people who portray the commanding officers to fool federal fools who insist on being fooled all of the time and refuse to do their own research, and in that way, are weapons against the USA themselves.

=======================

10:31 pm:

I created a bait situation about twenty minutes ago to draw terror soldiers to my home for a hit attempt. There are red lights that can be seen out my front window in the woods, and at least one vehicle is hovering around is the way it looks.

All I need to do to draw terror soldiers to my home, is turn on a bathroom light, and turn on the shower, they will be here within fifteen minutes, as is the case now.

============================

10:52 pm:

Symptoms of today’s aerial poison from small aircraft and a number of big trucks that were heard rumbling nearby, and possibly a train on the nearby tracks releasing gas for pressurized tanker cars:

Blurred vision.

Reduced thinking, concentration diminished.

False sense of security, all feels OK, as if there is no threat of danger.

The rash on my right leg is inflamed, itches real bad, hurts.

Right leg swelling, pants bunch at the knee.

Right foot swelling, is substantial.

False sense of security.

Feel tired, listless, run down... need some Vita-Meata-Vegimin.

Vertigo.

Other than that I feel great.

Intense internal burning sensation of the right leg, hip to foot.

==============================================

11:37 pm:

Gunshot or explosion to the south nearby as I wrote the time there, 11:37 pm.

====

I’ll wager dollars to doughnuts that all of the electronic gadgets scattered around at Monroe’s at 434 (Four-Three-Four) Jackpine, and inside of the chicken coups, and inside of the Offensive Trailer there were sent to me, and stolen by Monroe and others. I suspect the US Postal carrier hand delivers to Monroe’s any package or important mail correspondence sent to me by potentially helpful people. There is a lot of electronic gadgets there. There are things that go on a tripod, a telescope, and some other things on a tripod at the front porch at Monroe’s. There are a plethora of recording devices and many kinds of bright lights and motion sensor operated stuff there in and around two chicken coups where local terror soldiers access them as needed, I can hear when they are listening to the recordings made with other listening and personal communication devices that all of the terror army also has as they gather around the chicken coup where the stuff has been. It all gets moved around though, to other places at Chartrands, so there is no telling where any of the cameras, audio recorders, or blue-tooth speakers are, at any given time. The speakers are not used like normal people use audio speakers, they are used more like Disneyland uses speakers to produce desired sound effects. All of the terror cells seem to have obtained some blue-tooth speakers over time for a wide area of combined effects in the neighborhood. Voices, wind, sounds of brush moving, bird calls, and eerie noises seem to be most popular for the blue-tooth speakers. Anyone who is driving by can access the speakers to play a set of desired affects to accompany the terror cell as they arrive, leave, or are in the midst of attack. If you don’t feel the vibration associated with sounds you hear, there is good chance what you hear is manufactured noise. Even if you do feel the vibration of the sound, it still could be a more powerful amplifier driving the sound. They use stolen tube driven guitar amplifiers to cast more rumble farther and louder than is possible with blu-tooth.

Please stop sending electronic gadgets, they are stolen, and used to hurt, capture, and kill other people.

========================

1-15-2021: 12:02 am:

I don’t know what the explosion sound was, I am not going out on a walk tonight after being poisoned from airplanes dropping poison over my house today.

I need to spell this out it seems:

A personal computer will only self charge itself when the battery is at 50% capacity or less as it is plugged back into the wall outlet. The battery will indicate that it is plugged in, and is not charging, because that is what it is supposed to do when the battery is above 50% capacity. You can run a personal computer without the battery installed, it will work just fine, but if the power is shut off when you are doing important work, then, you will lose your work when the power goes off if the battery is not installed.

OK?

=================

1-15-2021: 12:13 am:

I am less than optimistic at this point that anyone looked at the decoding from last week about the Boeing 737 MAX and the aerial global gas attack planned for the 20th of January.

That is unfortunate that no one is interested in real terrorism.

It’s useless to ask for help.

no one is going to help.

Twenty years... no help. none, ever, from anyone.

0 notes

sunken-standard · 7 years

Text

Yet Another Drabble Ask Meme Fill

Requested by @mychakk [I'm sorry I forgot] : Ok, I think I'll go with those numbers, feel free to combine them or do them alone or just pick one that fits your fancy anything for sure will make my day :) 9 (Is a chicken really a bird if they can’t fly?), 14 (Fire! Fire! Fire!), 15 (You watched 4 seasons today?), 42 (This cost a thousand dollars?!), 43 (Foreigners…pffft), 102 (Buy me chocolates and tell me everything’s going to be okay), 107 (This house isn’t even haunted) My top favourite 'verse is the Holmes Family Function (the best), Tom-verse and Vegas. But I'll love anyhting ;) Huge thank you :) looking forward to them :)

This is the list for round 3: https://prompt-bank.tumblr.com/post/146525402053/drabble-challenge

Filled: 17, 95, 72, 84, 105, 41, 28, 69, 90, 95, 46, 100, 104, 81, 18, 24, 108, 99, 25, 61, 66, 52, 80, 73, 54, 89, 26, 32, 71, 16, 20, 27, 45, 57, 89, 32, 44, 64, 102, 27, 57, 6, 2, 70, 5, 7, 93, 9, 14, 15, 42, 43, 102, 107 Yet to be filled: 86, 96, 2, 14, 20, 21, 22, 94

"Is a chicken really a bird if they can’t fly?"/ "Fire! Fire! Fire!"/ "You watched 4 seasons today?"/ "This cost a thousand dollars?!"/ "Foreigners…pffft"/ "Buy me chocolates and tell me everything’s going to be okay"/ "This house isn’t even haunted"

Molly walked into her lounge and screamed.

It wasn't as common an occurrence as one might think, even when taking into account that Sherlock Holmes had taken over her flat as an annex of his own a few years before; she was used to all manner of things greeting her at the door when she returned home from work. Two dogs (on separate occasions), a monitor lizard, a pathetic Sherlock covered in fly paper, a pathetic Sherlock covered in bee stings, a pathetic Sherlock covered in marmalade (as was half her kitchen that time, though she'd got a much nicer kettle and a new blender out of the deal, so she hadn't complained much), a shirtless Wiggins and Sherlock with a tattoo gun, The Night King himself (okay, yeah, just Mycroft, but with a codename like Iceman [which she wasn't supposed to know, but Sherlock also used her brain as an annex for things he didn't want to keep in his own] the comparison was just begging to be made), and now the corpse of Sherlock's ex-girlfriend in rigor on her sofa.

Except, no, that wasn't a corpse. It was a sex doll. Wearing one of Molly's cardigans and a pair of her pyjama bottoms.

She supposed it could be worse. It could be a sex doll that looked like one of her exes.

"You're out of Fairy and if you have to use the loo, which you always do because apparently riding the bus is just too much excitement for you, don't look in the bathtub," Sherlock greeted as he tramped down the stairs to the kitchen. She added Marigolds to her mental shopping list as well, because he was wearing hers (and goggles, oh lovely) and she was sure she didn't want that pair to ever be near anything that would ever be near food again.

"So, um... Why? And why is she wearing my clothing?"

"Really more of an 'it.' I had to put something on it, it was—" he wiggled his fingers "—weird, and wrapping it in a blanket made it weirder. If it makes you feel better, I used clean clothing so none of your DNA will accidentally be transferred."

"Wait, is this evidence? We talked about evidence in my flat."

"It's not evidence per se, at least not in a criminal capacity. Well, it could be, should my client choose to press charges, but she won't, considering she's technically dead—"

"Your client," she said flatly.

"Whose name I can't reveal because I adhere to the strictest professional standards of confidentiality—"

"Oh for shit's sake, I know who it is. Why is it here?"

"Mrs. Hudson would evict me if she saw it. And it is rather creepy in an uncanny valley sort of way. Its eyes close when you tilt it past a thirty degree angle and the mouth is, ah, motorized. Wiggins accidentally bumped the 'on' switch when we were carrying it inside and I've actually never heard a grown man scream like that before."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're not keeping it here."

"It's only a few days, she's making shipping arrangements."

"Shipping arrangements."

"She said it would be a waste of a prop to destroy it entirely. She's ah, left me with the task of disposing of the... peripherals, though."

"Peripherals. Going to go out on a limb and guess that's what's in my bathtub."

"Yes."

"And you're cleaning them because...?"

"DNA," he said as though she were daft.

"Uh huh. I'm going upstairs because yes, fine, I actually do have to wee and it's not because the bus is exciting, it's because I time my last cup of coffee so I don't fall asleep on the way home and miss my stop and a side-effect is having a full bladder by the time I walk through the door. Whatever. When I come downstairs, you're explaining this to me from the beginning and leaving out no detail. Then we'll figure out what to do with your Stepford Girlfriend."

"So she has her face trademarked and copyrighted and all that stuff, and she sent you to fetch her intellectual property."

"More or less. There may or may not be multiple blackmail components."

"Oh even better. Did you shatter a few kneecaps just for fun, too?"

"What are you implying?"

"Nothing. I mean, I'm sure pimpin' ain't easy."

"So because I took on a case for someone in the sex industry I'm a pimp?" he asked slowly.

"You're actively helping a whore blackmail one of her clients, from whom you just stole a sex doll."

"That bears the exact likeness of my client and falls well outside the scope of her contract with the party I reclaimed the property from. Honestly, you're a feminist, you should be championing this. Imagine if Tom had a sex doll made that looked just like you."

Ugh, he had a point. Of course he had to go and humanize Irene Adler.

"Fine," she relented. "But you really should wear the fur collar for your coat more often. Maybe put some bling on John's cane and start carrying that around when you wear the hat."

At least she could still amuse herself with that image.

"You're actually logging these?"

"She wants to know what he's been—ahem—using it for so she can charge him accordingly."

"I can think of a pretty short list of what he's been using it for," Molly said, fishing yet another of the doll's vagina inserts out of her tub. Which Sherlock was going to sanitize repeatedly before her next bath (the tub, not the vagina; those were about as clean as they'd ever get thanks to the boiling water and bleach).

"And I'll thank you to keep that list to yourself," Sherlock said, taking the insert and turning it around to look for the serial number. He was really putting on a good show of not being flustered, but the colour in his cheeks gave him away.

"Is this real human hair?" Molly asked, squinting down at the next piece. She was tempted to take her gloves off just to feel it, but then they'd have to re-sanitize it because he had some weird hang-up about DNA all of a sudden.

"Mmhmm. That one costs fourteen thousand Yen. A thousand pounds, give or take."

"This cost a thousand pounds?! A fake fanny? Wh—oh. Oh God, it's moving. It's moving and I don't know how I turned it on."

"How—?" he began, side-eyeing her. He rolled his eyes and shook his head, then put down the insert he'd been holding. "Oh for—give it here, there's got to be a switch somewhere."

She watched as he examined it from all angles, then started poking and prodding at it with his gloved fingers; she wasn't sure if it was sexy, absurd, or just weird, but she knew she was the one blushing now, too (which was ridiculous, considering how often she examined actual genitals belonging to an actual person in any given week). She thought she was going to choke on her own saliva when he used two fingers to check inside. She really hoped he didn't make that face when there was a real woman involved.

"I can't... I can't turn this off. I have no idea how to turn this off," he said, sounding like he couldn't believe what he was even saying.

"Batteries! Just take the batteries out!"

"I don't know where the compartment is."

"Google it."

"You google it, I've got my hands full of—thing."

"Maybe it's on a timer. Just put it in the box and maybe it'll stop on its own."

Sherlock shrugged and withdrew his fingers, then set the insert into the box.

"Oh God," he said, staring down into the box.

"What?"

"It set another one off. And there goes another, it's a chain reaction."

"It's just like in The China Syndrome," she said peering around him to look into the box, which had begun to vibrate its way across her bathroom floor.

"The what?"

"Have you never watched a film?"

He didn't dignify that with a response.

"I can still hear them," she said, looking up at the ceiling.

"I'm sure the batteries will die soon," he said, eyes on his phone as it moaned another text. It was beginning to sound like a bad porno soundtrack. "Ah, good. Her people will be here on Monday to properly crate it for its trip to Hong Kong. Which is not where she is, so just completely forget I said that."

"Today is Tuesday. This thing is going to be here a week?"

"Six days, yes."

"It's so creepy."

Sherlock tipped his head in agreement. "Trust me, it was worse when it was naked."

"Can't you at least move it somewhere?"

"It weighs eight stone, it's like moving a water heater."

"I want to watch telly and I don't want to sit next to it."

"Fine, I'll sit next to it, you sit on the other side."

"Maybe if we just put a bag over its head," she said, leaning forward to look past Sherlock at the doll. He'd inched his way nearly into her lap, pressing her into the corner of the sofa like they were on a Twister ride over the course of the last half hour. She didn't mind, really, except for the doll being there.

"No, that's worse, take it off, it looks like a murder."

"You like murders," Sherlock said from just behind her.

"No, you like murders. I like my job, which is only tangential to actual murder."

"Potato, potato," he said. "What about a mask? You have one in the spare room from Mary's hen do."

"The one with the willy on it?"

"The one with the feathers," he said flatly. "It's bigger, it'll cover more of the face."

"Oh my God, that's horrifying. Why is that so horrifying? Take it off. Take it off."

"You take it off, you brought it into our house!" She realized too late the slip she'd just made. Thankfully, Sherlock didn't seem to notice, as he was tentatively sliding closer to the doll again to remove the mask. She didn't know why, but she kept expecting it to turn its head in her direction and start singing 'Non, je ne regrette rien' or some Marlene Dietrich song or something equally and unexpectedly creepy.

Sherlock used the back of a pen to flick the mask off the doll's face and they both relaxed a bit.

"Okay," he said. "I have an idea. What if we just put it in the corner where the lamp is that you never use? That entire corner is an oubliette, we'll just put it in your desk chair and wheel her over there for the rest of the week."

"Nope," she said simply, her hair standing on end.

"To be fair, I didn't say it was a good idea."

Sherlock's phone moaned a text and they both jumped.

"I'm never going to sleep again. This house isn’t even haunted! Or, it wasn't, until that thing showed up."

"You don't believe in ghosts."

"And you don't believe in wearing pants under pyjamas. What's your point?" she snapped. She wanted that thing gone.

Sherlock simply narrowed his eyes at her while pulling out his phone.

Molly hefted her overnight bag on her shoulder and Sherlock shifted the still-vibrating box of fannies as they waited by the kerb.

"Least it's not raining," Sherlock said conversationally.

"Is a chicken really a bird if they can’t fly?" Wiggins said, one hand on the wheel and the other out the window doing that uppy-downy swimmy thing people usually stopped doing once they were old enough to drive. "They're closer 'a dinosaurs anyway, I saw it on telly."

"They have feathers and beaks—taxonomically, they're birds. And chickens can fly, only not very far," Sherlock said, bored. They were both stuffed into the back seat because there was a suspicious stain on the front passenger seat and neither of them wanted to sit there. The box of fannies was secure in the trunk.

"Did you know—"

"Oh God, here we go," Sherlock muttered.

"—some paleontologists stuck plungers on chickens' bums ta figure out how T. Rex walked?"

"I did not not know that," Molly said, because how else does one respond to that? It wouldn't be very polite to ask their driver, 'how many mushrooms have you ingested today?'

"Spent'a day watchin' Natural World, din't I? Last four series."

"You watched four series today?" Molly asked incredulously.

"Well, only'a ones wi' Sir David Attenborough. He's'a only one I really like."

Fair enough, she thought.

"I'm going to be deleting useless trivia of dubious accuracy for hours," Sherlock grumped while Wiggins filled the tank with petrol. "I'm going inside to get... Something, anything, I don't really care, I just don't want to be in the car any longer."

"Buy me chocolates. And tell me everything’s going to be okay. I mean, we're halfway to Slough with a box of sex toys in the boot and it's almost midnight and I'm pretty sure Wiggins is high."

"And somehow I'm the dramatic one. Wiggins isn't high, that's just how he is. Everything is going to be fine, it's just a quick trip to an abandoned brickyard, we'll be back at Baker Street where there are no bloodthirsty Maschinenmenschen waiting for us to fall asleep to murder us before you know it."

"Maschinenmenschen?"

"Now who's the one who's never seen a film?"

"Just go and buy me a bloody chocolate bar."

"So you keep an arsonist on retainer for special occasions?" she asked, watching as Sherlock situated the box in the centre of the hastily-constructed pyre.

"Former arsonist. It was only once and he's a very successful builder now. Care to do the honours?" he asked, holding out a disposable lighter and a rolled-up copy of The Sun.

She took the newspaper and let Sherlock light it. "Oh! Fire! Fire! Fire!" she chanted as she bustled around the pile of cast-off wooden pallets and construction scraps, lighting the bits of cardboard sticking out here and there.

"So if we were just going to burn them, why did you bother cleaning them?"

"I was actually going to sell them on eBay. It seems he had some 'limited editions' and you wouldn't believe what they're worth. We're burning potentially £8000 or so."

"Are you serious? Why are we burning them? Is this some kind of ridiculously expensive catharsis?"

"Wh—catharsis?"

"Like, burning them in effigy. She was your ex-girlfriend. Or is this some kind of noble gesture, like, protecting her honour or something? So no one can defile her silicone bits."

"Noooo," Sherlock said slowly. "They're just extremely unsettling and I didn't want to leave them to roam about the flat like... demonic caterpillars in case they escaped their box. I'm beginning to suspect they're powered by nuclear fuel rods. Really, we should probably step back, actually. Or leave, and rather quickly, since the fire department is on its way. Run."

"I'll get Wiggins to help me move it tomorrow," Sherlock said after they were settled in his bed.

She'd never slept in his bed before. It was weird. He'd slept in hers dozens of times, and often those times overlapped with her own occupancy, but this was... weird. "Though you could just stay here for the rest of the week."

His suggestion was a bit too casual.

"You don't actually want to move it, do you?"

"It's very heavy. And unnerving. And I will deny that with my dying breath if you ever tell anyone I said that."

She couldn't help herself, she giggled. "Perish the thought. No one would ever believe me, anyway. Just like that time I met Bill Murray. Not John's friend Murray, the Bill Murray. It was in an Indian takeaway in Hackney and he knew I recognized him and he just leaned into me and said, 'No one will ever believe you.' No one did, either. But it was him."

"Who's Bill Murray?"

"An American actor. Caddyshack, Ghostbus—"

"Foreigners…pffft. Boring."

"We really need to work on your cultural literacy," she said, then yawned.

"I've seen every film I'll ever need to, and for the rest, there's Wikipedia."

"We're watching Groundhog Day tomorrow night."

"It's a punishment, isn't it?"

"Yes. You'll take it and you'll like it. Now go to sleep, I need to be up in four hours."

"Make it five. We'll take a cab. I need some teeth for an experiment I've been thinking about, tomorrow is as good a day as any to start it."

"I won't argue. Still can't believe we burned £8000 worth of fake fannies."

"I still can't believe they exploded like that. I should hope they come with warning labels on the package."

"Maybe that's part of the allure. Like playing penis Russian roulette."

"Molly."

"Hmm?"

"Go to sleep. And please never utter the phrase 'penis Russian roulette' again."

"You're no fun."

"I'm lots of fun. Tonight was fun."

"Yeah, it kind of was. Night."

"Night."

"Sherlock..."

"Hmm?"

"Are you sure we got rid of all of them? Did you, ah, remove whatever was in the doll before you dressed it?"

There was a beat of silence, then, "Bollocks."

#drabble ask meme round 3 #sherlolly #sunken's secret stash

76 notes · View notes

newstfionline · 7 years

Text

How I Socially Engineer Myself Into High Security Facilities

Sophie Daniel, Motherboard, Oct 20 2017

Hello! My name is Sophie and I break into buildings. I get paid to think like a criminal.

Organizations hire me to evaluate their security, which I do by seeing if I can bypass it. During tests I get to do some lockpicking, climb over walls or hop barbed wire fences. I get to go dumpster diving and play with all sorts of cool gadgets that Q would be proud of.

But usually, I use what is called social engineering to convince the employees to let me in. Sometimes I use email or phone calls to pretend to be someone I am not. Most often I get to approach people in-person and give them the confidence to let me in.

A few months ago, a client had hired me to test two of their facilities. A manufacturing plant, plus data center and office building nearby.

First step: open source intelligence, or OSINT. I look at maps, satellite images, study what I can of their delivery and supply schedules, and so on.

The manufacturing facility looked like a prison. No windows, heavy iron gates, no landscaping. Generally a monstrosity of architecture.

This facility had armed guards, badge readers, biometric security controls and turnstiles at every entrance.

The chances of tailgating (following behind an employee with valid credentials) into this building were next to non-existent.

I was going to have to get down and dirty with my social engineering.

First stop: LinkedIn. Your LinkedIn is my best friend. The more information you have on your LinkedIn, the more options I have.

I have several fake LinkedIn profiles that you are probably connected to.

I scour profiles of employees who work at these facilities, and cross-reference them to other social media sites. And I find a lovely young woman who I’m going to call Mary.

Mary was a brand-new hire working as an assistant at the manufacturing facility. Mary had a public Facebook account too.

On Mary’s public Facebook account, she documented all of her family’s adventures.

Side note: Now I know where Mary went to high school, her mother’s maiden name, the names of her pets, etc.

Answers to those “security questions” you use to reset your passwords are very easy to find if you aren’t careful with that information.

Not to mention that now I know where Mary works, where her kids go to school, where they vacation…I could go on. Scary stuff.

This is not an advanced investigation. I’m not a private investigator and I don’t have the resources of the NSA. But I can do a lot of damage with simple methods.

Most notably to me, there were photos Mary posted of her time volunteering with a certain maternity support center.

Her passion for children and caring new moms was very plain. So of course, I took advantage of it.

For this assessment I played two roles. For the first, I spoofed my phone number to make it look like it was coming from the company’s headquarters.

I called the front desk of the manufacturing facility and was transferred to Mary. “Hi Mary!” I said, “My name is Barbara.”

“I am a project coordinator with facilities management. We are renovating a few of our facilities. We are sending an interior designer out to you tomorrow so she can put together proposals to update your space!”

Mary replied, “Well that’s great! But why the short notice?” I could feel her getting suspicious, so I pulled out my trump card…

*Sigh* “Well Mary… You really should have heard from me sooner. I’ve just been so overloaded at work…I feel like I can’t catch up, and to top it off the baby is due in 6 weeks. If my boss finds out I messed this up he’s going to flip.”

I was really getting into this, voice shaking. (Yes, I know, I’m a terrible human being.)

She cut me off, “Oh hunny, hunny it’s ok. We will work this out! Tell me about the baby! Is it your first? Boy or girl?!”

Our Mary was committed at this point. Not because she is stupid, but because she is a good person. She wanted to help me.

We talked babies and birth plans for a while (never pick a pretext you can’t speak about at length.)

Mary took down the name of the “designer” who was coming by the next day and we said our goodbyes. Mary could have saved her company a lot of heartache by simply verifying that I was who I claimed to be. (Just to be clear here, I would never give out Mary’s real identity. I’m not totally heartless. This could have happened to anyone. She has not been fired.)

I showed up the next day as “Claire” with a fictional architecture firm that I had made business cards and a website for. My alter-ego Barb had done most of the leg work for me. When I arrived, Mary and her boss were waiting for me with smiles. I shook hands all around and handed them the business card I printed out the night before. I was given a visitor badge and the red carpet was rolled out.

I gained rapport with the staff there by asking them to tell me what they wanted in an office space. They were so excited. I might have claimed to be on the team that put together the Google offices…

“You want a standing desk? New chairs over here?! Ergonomic keyboards for everyone! Let’s look at swatches!”

We became best buds. I was given complete and unaccompanied access to the facility where I stayed for several hours.

I gained network access and stole several thousands of dollars in physical primitives by picking my way through cheap locks.

This client had been pretty confident that I wouldn’t get into either facility, much less be able to hit both in a short time span. So the timeline was left to my discretion, but it was assumed that I would need to fly to the area twice.

I didn’t see the need in burdening them with two round-trip expenses.

I went back to Mary’s office and said, “Well I think I have what I need from here. How do I get to the office center?”

She looked at her watch and said, “It’s almost lunch time. I’ll take you there!” A whole group of us piled into the parking lot, and they took me to a nearby taco shop. That’s right. My Marks took me to get tacos… I love my job.

After lunch they drove me to the offices and a few of them came in with me to show me around.

I took FOREVER looking around this office space, and eventually they said their goodbyes because they had to go back to work. They had a strict policy of escorting visitors. But I had been seen walking around with trusted insiders so no one questioned me.

I was free to take my time. I made myself at home. My main objective at this site was to weasel my way into private corner offices.

When I accomplished my goals, I tracked down my point of contact’s office. This is the man who hired me in the first place. This is the best part of every job.

Steve was there, hard at work when I disturbed his groove by knocking on the door. He glanced up, “Hi there, can I help you?”

I smiled. “Hi Steve! I’m Sophie from Sincerely Security. It’s nice to meet you in-person!”

I will never forget the look on his face… Pure gold. “Who?.... Wait, what? How? How did you get in here?!”

We stayed in his office and talked for a long time. I went over exactly the steps that could have prevented my success. First of all, the desire to help others is human and natural. We don’t want to discourage that.

Second, I’m sure they did have some sort of policy that required visitors to check in showing government issued identification, but they weren’t following it.

We also need to post by every computer, phone and door: “TRUST, BUT VERIFY.” An employee who does their homework can ruin my day.

Third, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Is your company going to hire the team who designed Google’s offices? Magic 8 ball says no.

Lastly, the team who took me to the second location should have found someone else to escort me through the building.

I’ve been doing this job for a couple years now, and almost every job is a variant of this story. Very rarely do I go through an entire assessment without some sort of social engineering.

There are ways to protect yourself and your company from attacks like this. I think it starts by sharing stories like these, and educating and empowering each other to be vigilant.

#social engineering #Sophie Daniel #corporate security

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stevedonnellyfaith-blog · 5 years

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A Bad Slide Show (Post 115) 11-11-15

I knew that my slideshow on the Fish Philosophy was not going well when I spied the other process engineer, with whom I share an office, wiping a tear for the corner of his eye. Evoking extremes of emotion can be good in some presentations, but making people cry during a training session about a methodology that is supposed to make people happier at work is an extremely counterintuitive strategy … or a gross miscalculation.

I will go with the latter. I probably should have done a roll out for my new program by doing a forward roll into the training room and laying down a barrage with a Nerf weaponry while dressed in Elvis garb. Truthfully, I got so entranced with the Christian nature of the subject that I kind of undersold the happy aspects of the four tenants of the fishy business tool and concentrated my slideshow on the aspects of engaging employees through listening an attentiveness. Thus I created waterworks from an engineer who is a secret softy under the crusty shell of the son of a Jersey cop.

Based on the work culture of the world famous Pike’s Place Fish Market in Seattle, the Fish Philosophy includes three of four cornerstones that are also important in Christian life. The fourth cornerstone, Play, isn’t overtly Christian, but enjoying ministries and other aspects of faith is certainly possible. The Franciscan Fathers of the Renewal, for example, enjoy what they do and work very hard for Jesus at the same time. The Fishy tenants of: Choose Your Attitude, Being Present for others and finding ways to Make Someone’s Day are all necessary for any Catholic attempting to participate effectively in the New Evangelization.

Because many of us will be spending some time over the holidays with people who are lukewarm in their faith as well as out-and-out heathens, I will describe those three most useful elements of a business philosophy that is also applied by some schools to improve classroom performance. I suspect that they might also present an effective avenue to approach heretical relatives at the great national turkey truce. Christianity is most effectively communicated peacefully, after all, without yelling or brandishing an electric carving knife.

Choose Your Attitude is the first vital part of what has made the Seattle Fishmongers a local institution. No normal person goes out of their way to visit a commercial establishment where people are grumpy. I know there is at least one restaurant where the wait staff mistreats the customers, but really that is just a gimmick. Pike’s Place employees know that however their own days have gone previously, once they walk onto the stage of their workplace the fishmongers put all negativity behind them and perform for their customers. Isn’t that what we are called to do as Christians as well? While there have been many great saints with grumpy dispositions, they weren’t necessarily the most effective evangelists. It is the kindness, serenity and charity of Christians that most intrigues and attracts people to the faith. Certainly the Fish Philosophy is not about insincerity. If someone adopts an attitude of serene, warmth and caring, the Holy Spirit will likely take care of the rest and a Catholic will don Christ and act like the authentic Christian that we all intend to be.

The second tenant, Being Present, to others is one of the most Christian of all attitudes. Self-sacrifice is probably on a higher rung still, but really, they are akin. Listening to each other with focus is a dying art in our society, but it is highly necessary for any level of ministering to another person. Of the four cornerstones it is the most difficult for me to pull off. I tend to be multi-tasker writing on a yellow notepad, tapping on my laptop or scrolling on my cell phone while I should be paying full attention to another person in my office or in the meeting room. Also I tend to avoid eye contact when situations become uncomfortable. I can’t think of any great Christians that were known for their shiftiness and poor social skills. I guess Judas comes to mind, but I can’t say that I like his company. In my slideshow I use a picture downloaded from Google Images (thank you Mr. Katreep) to explain where we are as a society. The picture shows four young women, I assume to be friends, seated at restaurant table in postures that demonstrate that they are totally oblivious to each other and absorbed in four internal worlds bounded by the screens of their cell phones.

When I type Make Someone’s Day, I always imagine me telling someone to do that in Clint Eastwood’s voice, but a better character for this third cornerstone of the Fish Philosophy is an internet character called Kid President. He looks to be about ten or so, Natalie’s age, and presents his remedies for what ails our society with quite a bit of pizazz although he seems to be more partial to corn dogs. His video, Twenty Things We Should Say More Often, is a litany of how to be considerate of others – Christ’s Golden Rule. Secularizing society seems to have distilled much of the charity and decency out of our interactions, but perhaps I am nostalgic for an America that never was. People have always honked horns and argued in traffic, but its seems that social media has released a level of anonymous meanness that I can’t recall during my childhood, but perhaps people were just able to insult fewer people simultaneously. Anyway, Kid President’s parents and grandparents ought to be very proud because he has mastered adages and an attitude that my grandparents would called the American norm although it is really Christian sensibility with some star spangled backdrops.

Regardless, I am excited about using the Fish Philosophy at work because it is a covertly Christian methodology that allows me to act on my faith in the workplace without making non-Christians uncomfortable. Actually by acting in a caring fashion, or properly, I seem to be connecting to people regardless of whether they know the Gospel or attend weekend services. Because my employer has adopted the philosophy and is embedding it within our leadership training program, the Golden Rule should become the rule of the day. It will be interesting to see how all this works out.

My regret with regard to the slideshow is that I used a YouTube video of Christian speaker Nick Vujicic’s testimonial too early in the presentation. He stole the show and it made it very hard to refocus the group after seeing Nick choose his attitude. Nick has no arms and legs, but spends all his energy bringing an anti-suicide message of hope to teens throughout the world. Kid President does a good job of demonstrating how to Make Somebody’s Day, but I was stuck for an example of Being Present to another person. The story of Mitchell Marcus’s high school basket was what I finally settled on in the revised version. I haven’t tried the new presentation out on my misty office mate, but I am sure that it is tear worthy.

As for the actual purpose of this column, let’s see if we can all do better during this holiday season with regard to kindness to one another. It seems that our country is full of people who are mad at Starbucks, people who are mad at the people who are mad at Starbucks, and people who are mad at both sides for making the media happy by arguing. For Thanksgiving, let us leave all the controversy on Facebook and enjoy each other’s company, first at Father Jerry’s favorite mass of the year and then at table with friends, family and no electronics.

Also happy Veterans Day and thanks to all who served and their families who sacrificed as well.

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weirdlandtv · 7 years

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Behind the scenes of the making of: “Star Quest”

This post contains background information on the Star Quest video, which can be seen here on my YouTube channel, Tales from Weirdland:

youtube

It’s funny. As a kid, I wasn’t a big sci-fi fan. Or even a little sci-fi fan. There was Star Wars, sure--I loved Star Wars--but outside of that, nothing took my fancy. My brother, a real nerd, complete with jam jar glasses and an oversized digital watch that accurately showed all the moon phases, used to watch all the shows religiously: Battlestar Galactica, Buck Rogers, V, and so forth; but me, I played with dolls and wanted a doll’s house for Christmas (which I got, thank you). My main memory of the 1979 Buck Rogers TV show basically is this hideous villain that appeared in one of the episodes: there was something wrong with him, his skin looked like mutant muesli. Boiled cancer. It made me lose all appetite for like, years.

He’s wearing his mask there--this is to protect you, reader. (I took that image from a blog, John Kenneth Muir's Reflections on Cult Movies and Classic TV.) Google “Varek”, “Buck Rogers”, if you dare.

But anyway, the sci-fi genre wasn’t really for me.

And yet, I find that it’s exactly that, those old sci-fi shows and comics, that evoke some of the strongest childhood memories. Possibly because they promised an exciting future, somewhere in the background. Or maybe it’s like the songs you don’t really pay attention to: those get stuck in your head.

(A song gets stuck in your head when your brain is trying to finish it, to resolve it, but it can’t. To counter this, play the song in its entirety.)

That’s me, left, being my autumnal self in the early 1980s. My big brother is lost in a comic and unaware of reality.

Star Quest is an homage to this era of silver spacesuits, capes, medallions, bushy sideburns, tin foil antennas, robots made of gold-painted hard latex, and control panels that were really disguised mixing desks. I’ve always been intrigued by the technology from that period: those robust, bulky designs, built to withstand a bomb explosion apparently. 1970s telephones look like pre-school toys, with big buttons and thick, coated armor. The enemy ship in SQ is like that: it’s plated, heavy, a shark-shaped fortress:

Grand Vizier Rylox, captain of this evil ship, originally looked like the image above. His appearance resembled that of a Noh demon, but as much as I liked the design, it clashed with the 70s theme, so I abandoned it before I got to coloring the face. As I was redesigning the character, I wanted Rylox to look as if his face could be a rubber mask, or as if he was wearing prosthetics maybe. That’s why he has limited mouth movements in the video: it’s not bad lip syncing, it’s simply that the actor can’t move his facial muscles too well.

When Captain Logan is being addressed by Rylox via hologram, he just sternly stands there, listening. As Rylox himself wasn’t much to look at, with his small, black mouth, I had to vary the camera positions occasionally to prevent the video from losing its rhythm. That resulted in this tricky shot. I was very pleased with Captain Logan’s look actually: it’s a blend of Lorne Greene and a non-specific Filmation character (I was thinking of Journey to the Center of the Earth). To get the right 1970s feel for the video, I watched clips of all the relevant shows, but found that once you try to copy that style, you quickly venture towards caricature, parody, like that Starsky & Hutch film with Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson: it’s so SEVENTIES you actually forget it’s supposed to take place in the 1970s. A better approach is to just try to come up with a good design first, and then adjust it so that it fits within the fashion perimeters of that era. After all, in the 1970s, nobody looked or dressed like it was the 1970s.

That’s a fancy way of saying I more or less stole the outfits from the 1977 TV show, Space Academy.

The shark ship, before I forget, was originally supposed to be a city ship, a floating metropolis, housing thousands of people. (That’s inevitably in our future.) I thought it was a grand idea, until I discovered that a similar design features in Alien 2. So, exit city ship. The interior of the Starship Olympus was inspired, sort of, by E.T.’s ship.

Because I animate the old-fashioned way, by drawing everything on paper with pencil, I have to be economical when it comes to using paper. Hence these three heads crammed together on one sheet. The “Star Commander”, left, echoes 1970s Marvel comics: he doesn’t feature in the video itself but is simply there to suggest you’re watching a series. Also, he was the first character I started drawing when I set myself the task to go for a 1970s sci-fi theme.

The introductions were fun to do. Admiral Jericho is paired with Sola, in typical 1970s split-screen style. Again, these shots were intended to suggest you’re watching a running series instead of a brief one-off. I always think up small backstories for such glimpses, just for myself. Sola is being briefed by a Galruggian worker--”All cells have been replaced, lieutenant”--Jericho, in his lab, is testing out a new laser, making adjustments, taking notes.

Jim Booker and Captain Matt Logan. Matt, you say? Yes. My brother and I used to play with Lego Space when we were kids, and we had invented this show called Space Police. My main character in it was Jim Booker, my brother’s was Matt Logan, after, I suppose Matt Trakker (M.A.S.K.) and Wolverine. So my video is an homage to that too: that brief, golden flash that is your childhood.

Until next time!

#space #retro #scifi show #1970s #1970s sci-fi #1970s tv #1970s style #battlestar galactica #buck rogers #animation #concept art #youtube #scifi #1970s fashion #retro sci-fi #sci-fi show #sci-fi #old school animation

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gehayi · 7 years

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I know Christian has committed sexual crimes and maybe murder, but can you list what in the business sphere he has done illegally or unethically? My dads a lawyer who deals with this shit, so I'm curious.

For one thing, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc. is, by its name, incorporated. That means that it needs a board of directors. Christian says loudly in both Fifty Shades of Grey and the un-Google-able sequel, Grey that he has no board telling him what to do. This statement could have been qualified in Grey; he could have thought that he had a one-person board and that he was it, which is possible. But his reaction in Grey is the same--that he doesn’t have a board because he doesn’t want one. That’s not how incorporation WORKS.

Second, he violates the Equal Employment Opportunity Act. All but one of the employees at Grey House, his headquarters, that we see is a white-skinned blonde woman, and that one exception is a white-skinned redheaded woman. Ana speculates that he hires women who look a certain way; in Grey, we’re given confirmation that yes, that’s exactly what he does. From where I’m sitting, he should be half-buried under anti-discrimination class action suits.

He employs a private hacker, Barney, who breaks into computer systems to illegally obtain information--like Social Security numbers, amounts of money in bank accounts, images in closed-circuit city TV cameras monitoring roads, etc. Grey also states that he uses Barney to vet all potential hires and any woman with whom Grey might get into a BDSM relationship. This should raise all sorts of questions about identity theft and violations of privacy. It doesn’t.

He ordered another employee (Jason Taylor, his chief bodyguard) to beat Jack Hyde (the man who attempted to rape Ana shortly before this) within an inch of his life when a) Jack was unarmed, b) he was not threatening or endangering Grey, Ana or Taylor, and c) Ana was in a tank of a limo that resembles, in many ways, one of the cars James Bond drives. I’m pretty sure that you’re not allowed to order random assaults on despicable people who are not a clear and present danger to you or those around you...even when you have skilled bodyguards.

The chief accountant of the company (Gwen) and the the Vice-President of the company (Ros Bailey, who seems to do all the work, thanks to Grey’s ineptitude) are in a romantic and sexual relationship. To me, this indicates conflicts of interest.

The company was founded with money that Elena Lincoln stole from her husband and gave to Christian Grey. Furthermore, Grey either knew that the money was stolen when he received it or learned it shortly afterwards. I’m pretty sure that profiting from a crime is also illegal.

Grey routinely uses company resources for personal gain. He seems to feel that since it’s his company, everything belonging to the company belongs to him individually.

At the end of Fifty Shades Freed, when we find out that Elena’s ex-husband Linc Lincoln was the Big Bad all along, Christian says this in a phone conversation:

“Ros, how much stock do we own in Lincoln Timber?”:::“So, consolidate the shares into GEH, then fire the board . . . except the CEO . . . I don’t give a fuck . . . I hear you, just do it . . . thank you . . . keep me informed.”

You can't just say "You're fired" as if the words were magic—and that's what Christian is doing. He doesn’t OWN Lincoln Timber, not the slightest part. Elena Lincoln's ex does. And the ex doesn't like Christian at all. I can't think that he'd allow Christian to buy a controlling number of shares—and I doubt if Christian did so, especially since he mentioned earlier in Freed that he didn't even know if he'd invested any money in lumber or timber.

Boards of directors can be changed, but not by one person hiring or firing everyone.1) Boards can be elected at the annual shareholders' meeting at the end of the year.

2) A shareholder can call a special meeting when they want to change directors before their term ends. However, this involves contacting all other shareholders and giving them notice of the place, time, date and purpose of the meeting.3) Shareholders can vote to remove directors from a board, with or without cause, unless the corporation has a staggered board. Once that is done, they can vote to replace the directors they voted out.

However, a) a meeting is required, b) a quorum of shares must be present at that meeting and c) a majority of all shares entitled to vote must participate in removing and replacing the directors. Furthermore, many by-laws translate this as "a majority of all SHAREHOLDERS" rather than "a majority of all SHARES." Which means everyone might get a vote over the dismissal of Lincoln Timber's board, even very minor investors.4) With a staggered board, only a portion of the board is elected every year—half to one third, generally. Replacement and removal of members of a staggered board are similar to what's done in the third case…but members of a staggered board can only be removed with cause. And the by-laws spell out what the causes are. Posting bail for someone that one shareholder doesn't like is not a valid cause.

Removal and replacement of boards always seem to come down to other shareholders, meetings and elections. And even if Christian could just wave a dictatorial hand and say, "Begone!", Linc could put the directors that had been removed, as well as anyone else on his side, up for election again, campaign for them, recommend that other shareholders vote for them, etc. This has been done in other companies; it's fairly routine.

As plans for vengeance go, this one is unworkable, illegal, and pretty much useless.

Christian also plans to do the following:

“But he’s seriously crossed the line with Hyde. Linc’s made this personal by going after my family. I’m going to crush him, break up his company right under his nose, and sell the pieces to the highest bidder. I am going to bankrupt him.”

Bankruptcy law has ways of fighting hostile takeovers, which is what Hellspawn is proposing. Not only that, but a Chapter 11 bankruptcy—the most typical way for businesses to go bankrupt in America—wouldn't leave Linc stony broke, which is what Fuckface wants. "A [C]hapter 11 debtor usually proposes a plan of reorganization to keep its business alive and pay creditors over time."Chapter 11 bankruptcy is REALLY common with big businesses. This not only wouldn't leave Linc broke, he might even profit from the deal. If Hellspawn wants to force Linc to file a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, which involves liquidation of non-exempt assets and distributing the proceeds to debtors...well, first of all, Chapter 7 is generally used by individuals, not businesses or corporations (which usually file Chapter 11) or sole proprietorships and partnerships (which usually file Chapter 13). Note the word "generally." It's not impossible for a business to use Chapter 7, but Chapter 7 would involve selling a great many assets, including the business itself. So it's not common.Second, Linc himself would have to cooperate with Hellspawn's "plan." He'd have to apply for credit counseling first, because you can't petition for Chapter 7 liquidation without that. Then he'd have to file a Chapter 7 bankruptcy petition with the courts, agreeing to sell almost everything he has because that's the only way to pay off his debts. Linc is a wealthy man. What's likelier—that he'll voluntarily strip himself of almost everything he owns or that he'll fight a hostile takeover?

And that’s just the stuff I can think of right off the top of my head. I’m sure there’s more.

Does that help?

#testingforcake23

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