@turnabout , @weatherall
(nbc’s) passions discourse 2k18!!!
theresa lopez-fitzgerald--the girl who had ONE goal which was to get that tall white man, early 2000′s soap opera version of armie hammer
but kept gettin DERAILED by GWEN HOTCHKISS who u wanted to feel bad for bc HELLO 2000′s Ethan #1 was her MAN FIRST but like---damn gwen was a bitch right?? (but why?? bc james c riley SAID SO)
but also bc the never ending plot of THE ETHAN CRANE TABLOID SCANDAL
while theresa was doing a rendition of ‘She’s All That’\Ugly Betty\Ew Glasses Girl (SHE DID THAT SHE REALLY DID THAT. SHE PRETENDED TO BE SOME UGLY DUCKLING AND GWEN THOUGHT SHE WAS HER UGLY FRIEND BUT REALLY THERESA JUST WANTED 2000′S SOAP OPERA ARMIE HAMMER)--
anyway , the tabloid scandal that lasted the entire run of the show--about how ethan wasnt a crane, but a BENNET bc IVY was doing SAM but married JULIAN for $$$, and theresa AND whitney find out and pilar is like ‘dont tell anyone!!’ but gwen and rebecca (her mother) found out about it and plant the story in some tabloid that apparently EVERYBODY reads and frames Theresa
and OF COURSE the tabloid is printed and sent to all 20 residents of Harmony on the day of theresa and ethan’s wedding!!!
and proving that she DIDN’T DO THAT is therea’s plot for 7 seasons!!! and ethan NEVER believes HER but believes EVERYTHING gwen tells him bc he’s a fucking idiot.
(meanwhile theresa suffers, gets with fox crane (UPGRADE) but it doesnt last bc she’s always obsessed with ethan even when they recast him :(((
Tabitha plots made the show better IMO bc there’s only so much ethan obession u can take
a thing i never understood was TC’s shed?? for years you never knew waht was in it??? he was always like ‘stay out of my shed?!!!’ and then its revealed its was old tennis pictures?? OKAY TC
Julian and Eve??? He didnt deserve her either.
Eve was harmony’s only doctor.
Kay and Theresa not being BFF’s is was a lost opportunity bc they’re so ONe MAN goal oriented
I wish Charity had died. I wish Miguel had died to.
Fox was with whitney or did i dream that??? he was with Kay for sure. (right??)
the whitney\chad incest storyline was traumatizing.
Best Thing: Making Simone a lesbian.
A Good Thing: making chad A Bicon. A bad thing: giving him another incest storyline. A worse thing: Killing Him Off (to save Ethan #2 of all people).
kay gets miguel once charity and her dumbass premonitions leave.
tabitha’s goal of killing charity---LET HER DO IT
father lonnigan knowing everybody’s secrets but really dedicated to his priest Hippocratic oath
Grace just left?? Sam?? and her 3 kids??? 2 daughters and some white bland some they hook up with paloma (who was later recast) kay and...i just remember kay...(who was recast like 3 times)
Sheridan being Ethan’s aunt but being the same age
Sheridan being friends with Princess Diana and Parallels that followed
Sheridan and Luis Should have been ENDGAME
why the FUCK did he end up with FANCY--SHERIDAN’S NIECE???!!
Sheridan ending up with Antonio (luis’ ugly older BROTHER) was literally the meanest thing ive ever seen on a soap. thats like caitlan not ending up with cole (sunset beach ref!! bc i watched as a child when i shouldnt have!!)
they legit killed off sheridan and luis’s baby
theresa fucking up gwen’s pregancy also
i wanna say theresa carried one of gwen’s babies?? she fucks up her IVF??
theresa having ethan’s baby and naming him Little Ethan--why theresa why
theresa naming her son Little Ethan and then not being able to tell ethan its his son and EVERYBODY KNOWS its his son EXCEPT Ethan.
eve’s biggest sin was being some motown singer to pay for medschool and sleeping with julian crane (a couple of times) (okay maybe A LOT)
passions was trying VERY hard on the interracial relationship front
Ivy’s biggest sin was fucking someone POOR (even tho he was Harmony’s Hottie APPARENTLY)
Pilar deserved a better family and husband--they never gave her a man!!! after YEARS of having to put up ivy’s dumbshit!!!
Julian got his dick cut off?? idr why but it was hilarious.
Tabatha also had julian’s child??? I dont know why. But I know it happened.
no one in harmony escaped fm a pregancy.
they also made tabatha NOT evil towards the end and like why fuck you john c riley for that dumb decision
julian was sometimes british and sometimes NOT
Alister never fucking dying and being a disembodied voice for a majority of the show (LUCKY!!!) but also he was the WORST!!!
Sheridan may or may not have killed either HER mother or Luis’s father??? she had a traumatic childhood. Somehow it’s never revealed that she’s julian’s daughter (IT NEVER MADE SENSE FOR HER TO BE JULIAN’S SISTER!!!)
Ethan Crane was Still The Worst bc he couldn’t make up his dumbass mind between Gwen and Theresa--like CONSTANTLY and then when she ‘tried’ to move on he’d suddenly be like ‘Oh HEY theresa’ (fuck u ethan)
and FUCK u john c riley for never giving theresa someone else to temporarily be obsessed with (what the fuck was even the jared plot line??)
but also rest in piece john c riley bc he truly gave us a masterpiece where he did EVERY RIDICULOUS PLOT BECAUSE HE COULD--harmony zombie prom, harmony reenacting titanic, carrie prom (???), the red voices in the attic, TIMMY being the only voice of goddamn reason in harmony, that one year alistar tricks the entire cast to go to rome one a murder tour, the tsunami in HARMONY which they placed somewhere near BOSTON (OKAY!)
to THIS DAY i cannot get the theme song out of my head, which for some reason i always pictured charity singing it?? bc it was annoying and i found her annoying also.
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