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stab-the-koala · 2 years

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I do hope to see more of crystal moon art and please take your time to draw them, good luck ^^

Hello and thank you for the ask! I’m still not quite sure how I feel regarding crystal moon, but if I did have a story revolving a healthy romance between them, this is what I think it would look like!

What could have been. 1/2

A few things,

1. This is actually a part 1 of a duality drawing I wanna do! This is the good side of the coin, and the second draw will be similar posing but like. Not happy? Aka them from my story I’m writing. Aka a lotta angst. But this ain’t that! This the cute stuff

2. I had a broad sketch of the basic pose, then one with more detail with a less chunky but still chunky pen, but I couldn’t for the life of me do a lineart with a thin pen that I felt satisfied with. So I just went to the chunky pen layer and kept messing with it and cleaning it up and I like how it turned out :)

3. About the au!!! Idk if I’ll ever like, actually write this? I prefer angst to just solid fluff, but if any of y’all wanna do something with it (or any of my stuff actually) go ahead! Wether that be writing, art, edits, I really don’t care, I just would like to be tagged so I can see it :)

4. Lastly, a bunch of rambling about what this au entails!

A. Following the sing movies, this au happens after Jimmy Crystal is jailed for assault and attempted murder against Buster Moon. Buster Moon decides to visit him in jail. To talk to him.

B. They actually get along pretty well. Buster apologizes. He realizes what he had done, yknow, lying to get his own goals, wasn’t exactly the most righteous thing either. They talk for a while. Buster visits multiple times a week. Communication is a good thing, yknow?

C. Jimmy gets bail, and is freed on parole. He was originally going to have an ankle bracelet, but Buster shows to the hearing and insists that he doesn’t need to. Buster had the option to get a restraining order against Jimmy to further protect him, but he denies that as well.

D. Even with Jimmy apologizing himself and slowly making the steps for being a better person, Busters friends still don’t like him. So Buster and Jimmy decide to be a little mischievous and keep their meet ups a secret

E. Sneaking around is actually a lotta fun, they realize. Night time is the perfect cover, as each are supposed to be asleep in their respective home. They visit local parks, diners opened past midnight, anywhere where they could find peace and quiet to talk in. The rebelliousness made them each feel young again, like a teen sneaking around with a forbidden lover.

F. That said, a few months into this secret friendship, Buster realizes he’s found feelings for the once cruel wolf. He is the one to confess, and while Jimmy requited said feelings, he said he preferred friendship to romance. Buster is upset but decides it must be for the best.

G. Jimmy then realizes it must be his internalized homophobia talking, so a few days after the confession he sneaks off to Buster’s apartment, opening the window and apologizing to the koala. He apologizes and confesses that he also feels the same, but that feelings of that caliber are difficult for him, especially after the death of his wife a decade prior.

H. Buster listens and accepts his apology, moving to sit on the window sill which Jimmy is still hanging awkwardly off of. They talk quietly with each other, and Buster is daring enough to press a kiss to Jimmy’s snout, flustering the wolf who almost falls in return. They laugh once Jimmy regains composure, and are happy together.

I. Will this be an easy relationship? Hell to the no. Will they try? Yeah. And really, that’s what matters when trying to heal such wounds.

#orchard draws #orchard writes #buster moon #jimmy crystal #crystal moon #sing 2 #sing2 #sing 2 spoilers #sing buster moon #sing jimmy crystal #no content warnings??? on an orchard post???#wild I know but I needed to try my hand at fluff for once

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schneiderenjoyer · 5 months

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Was browsing through the wiki to get some reference and I've always found it interesting that Portrayals gave off the hint that Vertin captures their form's essence (through film most likely) and the descriptions of them are insight of the character from Vertin's perspective.

If we go by that logic...Schneider's Portrayal description ruins me.

#reverse 1999 #verneider #vertin x schneider #i'm in constant shambles for these two #back when schneider was playable all vertin wants is to take her back to the orange orchard #her portrayal is the only one that refers to 'you' as if making a note to remind yourself #her profile is also the only one that doesn't inherently have it describe something about her personality or hobbies #it's a genuine opinion from the person writing the description like it's absolutely important that's what it should be written there

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mournfulroses · 5 months

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Rita Dove, from On the bus with Rosa Parks; Poems; "The Pink Orchard,"

#lit #rita dove #poetry #writings #words #on the bus with rosa parks #poetry collection #the pink orchard #p

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kiwinatorwaffles · 1 year

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hermitcraft x gravity falls crack au where ford lands in hermitcraft season 9 during the king ren arc and realizes there are much more freaks out there than hes ever expected

grian would be like yeah man we're holding a resistance against the king (who is probably possessed tbh imo ngl) because he kept stealing all our money and he told me i couldnt scam people into doing quests anymore. anyway i see that magnet gun you have there. wanna break down this iron door for me? and that just solidifies ford's resolve to not let bill enter his universe because crazy stuff like this could happen to his home

the hermits introduce ford to their own trio of scientists while the royal court is swapping out emeralds in the background and ford instantly interrogates doc about what kind of creature he is and when doc revels that he's a creeper ("get away from me man i could explode you right now") ford just starts asking even nerdier questions about a creeper's anatomy

dont even get me STARTED on minecraft gravity physics. a hermit would break a wood block to make a torch and ford would be like FASCINATING........ the tree stays upright no matter how much you break of it.... and only when the leaves are no longer attached to wood do they break! the gravity in this dimension must be special! i must figure out what is causing this anomaly! and everyones like yup thats a nerd alright

ford ends up thinking the hc dimension is full of strange people just like him but it turns out hermitcraft is just a high concentration of insane guys that do not reflect the rest of their world at all. regardless they invite him to take down the royal court and he has a blast doing so

edit: the fic has been realized

#ill probably end up drawing/writing something for this because this is too funny #literally just an hour earlier i was like ughhh i could never write gf fic i dont have any good ideas #WELL NOW THE IDEAS ARE HERE #kiwi’s calls #hermitcraft #gravity falls #orchard’s library #crossover content: brought to you by kiwinator

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bapple117 · 24 days

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Y'all don't want to hear me, you just want to dance

Literally dangling Lucifer like a carrot to try and get people to focus on a post LOL

Come join the Bapple's Orchard Discord Server! - Hazbin chat & Goofin'

Do you want a safe space to be silly and chat about Hazbin with other people? Do you happen to read my fanfics and want some behind the scenes chat? Do you like memes and just general silly-little-guyness?

Then boy! Have I got the server for you!

Don't delay! Click HERE today!

I would love to see you all there! Come hang out 🍎❤️

I LOVE YOU BYE

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whetstonefires · 1 year

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a thing i always come back to that i'm sure wasn't intentionally put into Crisis Core because they would have explicitly said it if they meant it, this wasn't a subtle story lmao--is about how apples work.

apple trees. orchards.

see, the thing is apples don't breed true. the genes controlling fruit characteristics are complicated as heck; the seeds from an apple will grow into an apple tree, but it almost certainly won't be the same apple they came out of. you might raise an apple tree for ten years and then find out it produces mealy little pippins even though its parent fruits were so nice. probably it won't be that big a disappointment, but you just never know.

so lonnnnnnng long ago, serious apple horticulturalists developed a preference for cloning.

you don't plant a new tree, you cultivate a cutting. or you do plant a new apple tree, but you cut into it and graft the live wood of the tree whose apples you want into the cut, so they grow together. so the new tree will bear the apples of the old.

that's the only way commercial apple orchards work now, what with variety consistency being such a big deal, but it's been the practice since premodern times. you plant a good hardy dwarf, generally, as the root and then for the fruit you pick from the available options according to your market's whims or your own taste.

Apple cultivation has been a cloning operation since long before the science of genetics. And further it's a cloning operation on the model of Jenova cloning--taking existing organisms and grafting on additional parts, additional virtues that will bear the fruits you want to process and sell, that natural chance would not have granted you.

Plants can do this naturally. Animals, having much stricter biological self-definitions, generally cannot. That's why Shinra needs the space alien involved.

Anyway I'm absolutely certain no one involved in setting up the Banora economy backstory element knew this about apples, because Genesis or Angeal would have brought it up, given Zack gets to hear about how the Banora White is nicknamed the dumbapple because it fruits continually all year like an idiot. But I have been thinking about this occasionally for over ten years.

#hoc est meum #ffvii #crisis core #banora white #apples #orchards #we have so many feral orchards where i come from #angeal hewley #genesis rhapsodos #no one writing this game knew shit about apples

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as8bakwthesage · 11 months

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My Experience With Lily Orchard + Fuck Her

Now, if those of you who know me or have been following me for a while will know that I used to be a massive Lily Orchard fan. I used to support her, I defended her, and I was once a member of her patron even.

I’ve heard stories from people, former friends, former fans, about how much of a manipulating and nasty bitch she is. At best, she’s lashed out at fans for drawing innocuous fanart and for bringing up topics in stream that she doesn’t approve of (I’ve been there, I’ve seen it), and at worst she’s a lying abusive cunt who can’t help but make people around her miserable.

And while I’ve not been the subject of Lily’s abuse, I have been witness and bore the blunt of her passive aggressive horseshit, her manipulating situations to make me appear like a cunt for daring to correct her on an opinion of a book she never fucking read, her shamelessly putting me on blast in one of her videos where she insinuated I was stupid for asking a question about LGBT+ rep, for telling me and other fans to stop talking when we tried to defend our positions in chat.

I’ve had to walk on eggshells around her because I feel like every word I say or anything I do will be seen as an attack on her despite me being a fan of hers for literally fucking years and she knows this. I’ve been a fan of hers since I was 15-16 and I’m 22 now. With no other content creator have I felt the need to be so fucking careful of what I say.

And when I sent her an ask telling her that her yelling at others on stream for seemingly no reason was actively triggering me (mind you, in the nicest way possible because I couldn’t hurt Ms. Orchard’s feewings oh nuuuu) she ignored my ask. Do I have proof she saw it? No. Is she a large enough content creator that she receives so much interaction/asks on her tumblr that my ask got swallowed? Also No.

If you’re a Lily Orchard fan, I am not a needless hater, I am not a stalker or a troll or a bigot. I’m a transgender and biromantic/asexual person myself who is Native and actively participates in activities regarding my tribe and culture. I’m white passing like Lily is. I used to be a fan of hers for fuck’s sake and an active one too.

But here’s the thing - she’ll suck you in with her bold commentary and criticisms and some of it is genuinely really thought provoking and interesting. On the outset she has a “no tolerance for abusers” policy and she’s charismatic to an audience of teenagers who were being abused. Fuck, she helped me realise I was being abused and when the Toonkritic shit came out, that slowly started to help me realise I was being groomed by my exe (TheHauntedReader)

I convinced myself for the longest time that just because Lily wrote “Stockholm” that it didn’t mean anything. That all of her weird takes and opinions were just a quirky “haha i did this in my youth and i regret it” moment. But this isn’t 13-year-old me writing weird fanfiction between an adult and a child when I didn’t fucking know any better and was being actively groomed and abused, this was an adult who wrote CP and romanticised it and tried to get away with it and who should have known better!

And once you are a fan of hers, it’s hard not to become emotionally invested, especially if you’ve always seen her behaviour as normal, which I did. A lot of her fans are abuse/trauma survivors and she knows that. So many of us have confided to her that she helped us realise we could be happier and that we could escape. That we were more than our abuse. These are powerful things to talk about.

But she doesn’t care about us. Never has. Never will. She convinced me and has convinced others that us asking her stupid/silly questions is damaging to her. That it’s caused her so much emotional damage and stress that she can justify lashing out and verbally abusing her audience, y’know - the people who gave her a career. By her own admission, she hates us, but expects our support when she’s being harassed??

Girl, fuck off.

But that is just my own experience. I’ve seen some shit in the past couple of days that I can’t unsee and I encourage you all to look into it because it’s such a dark hole that the phrase “stare into the abyss for too long and it stares back” is what I feel like right now.

And I know why I feel like this - I invested energy and money and emotions into this woman and her channel. I’ve supported her. And no, Lily, this is not about me wanting to be your friend. It’s about me asking for some fucking decency as someone you at least know of and at most you know supported you? To not lie and misrepresent what I’ve said and then vaguepost about me?

Have I made mistakes? Yes. But that’s no excuse to berate and yell at people who have only asked stupid questions or fuck, even made goddamn harmless jokes??

Also, if fans/friends of Lily’s are harassing @asunnycoffee you guys are the fucking worst. Don’t fucking attack my friend you raging cunts. I have a couple ideas of who you might be, but I know you won’t air out your dirty laundry with me, Ginger.

You guys are pathetic.

Lily doesn’t care about her fans, she doesn’t care about her friends, and she’s certainly not going to start anytime soon.

#fuck lily orchard #lily orchard #sage writes an essay again #sage rambles

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whinlatter · 1 year

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Orchards (Harry/Ginny) by whinlatter

The orchard is a wild, thousand-flower, crumpled-gate, fall-down-fence sort of place, where things grow that you’ve never asked for, that you’d never expect. The summer of ’96, the story of something flowery he thought he might have smelled at the Burrow. (Harry/Ginny, HBP)

notes: oops i tripped and fell and wrote 15,000 words on how harry potter fell in love with ginny weasley and didn't notice, the summer of '96

always wanted to write this! only took me seventeen years to get the courage to give it a go. also comes with a playlist because summer songs banish january blues

It was everywhere that summer, wasn’t it? Looking back. The truth. He thinks he knows, now, what it felt like. Straggled grass brushing bare calves, heat under palms skimming the staircase bannister. The rap of knuckles on a new, old door. The truth slipped in quietly. No fanfare, no fuss. Maybe if it hadn’t, he’d have known. Instead, the truth nudged itself towards him, all small, knowing smiles. Kind eyes, amused. It didn’t so much whisper in his ear as it did lightly hum: muffled, soft, but sure, totally certain. It was there, wasn’t it, all along: strewn across that wild orchard of hard breaths and harder quaffle passes, nestled among cushions between worn sofa whispers and drooping eyelids, bubbling away in the politics of dining table chatter and clatter. Right there, in the sodding butter dish, after all. Would he have known what to do with it, though? The truth. He imagines it, like the keen sting of a surprise ball tossed last-minute, caught hard in unready fingertips. He wouldn’t have dropped it though, he thinks. He’d have caught it, wouldn’t he? He’d have kept it. Clung on. When it’s thrown your way - when it matters - you don’t fumble. You take it as it comes. You run with it. You soar. It twinged, the truth, that summer. It throbbed. It lightly itched.

#fic #writing #harry and ginny #harry potter #ginny weasley #hinny #ron weasley #hermione granger #romione #half blood prince #HBP #missing moment #hp fanfic #harry x ginny #orchards

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nancyheart11 · 3 months

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DAY 9: bees (Warriors)

It took far far too long to painstakingly pull his scarf out of the trees without snagging threads and causing runs in the beautiful lamb’s wool. When it was finally wrapped snugly around hick again he raised a hand with a whoop! Only to stop quickly as the branch he was on swayed precariously.

Now, time to find out where on Nayru’s green earth he had landed after whatever mess of a portal that was. He looked around and only saw very densely packed foliage and branches. The leaves were surprisingly large considering how high up he must be, but looking at the branches only a small drop below the one he was perched on maybe it wasn’t so far fetched they were enormous!

After maybe an hour of working his way down what must be the biggest tree in Hyrule, Warriors heard a thundering coming from nearby, so he crouched where he was and pulled out his sword eyes searching for the source of the foreboding noise. It came closer and closer, the buzzing becoming so loud it made thinking difficult. When the beast rounded the corner he was ready lifting his sword he–

Is that a bee?

#linked universe #febuwhump #nan writes #lu warriors #my brain took a silly turn today #what if Wars got shrunk to minish size and stuck in one of Legend's orchard trees?#it would take the whole day and several near death experiences to get to the back door XD

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jaytoons7 · 25 days

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The Transformation

The night Brutus found out Crusher was a werewolf

Warnings: Blood mention, Violence, Unintentional attempted murder

Brutus Dan Gerbreaker belongs to @smoresthehalloweenqueen

Danny Felizima (Mentioned) belongs to @capturecharlesau

“Hey Brutus! My dear amore hasn’t eaten all day and I’m VERY worried! I haven’t been able to check on him because of work. Can you make sure he’s okay?

Your Tio, Danny <3”

Brutus was holding a letter written by Danny that was left on his bedroom’s door as he walked down the dark hallway. Apparently, Scottie left it there before heading off for some business away from the airship for a few days. Brutus could admit that he was pretty worried too.

Crusher’s been acting strange for the past week. Whenever he was asked about it, He just brushed it off as him feeling a little sick and that he’d take a day off when he needed it.

Brutus took a breath as he gripped the letter a bit. “I haven’t seen Tio Crusher all day…” He thought. “Neither has anybody else…” It wasn’t like Crusher to just suddenly disappear like this. Brutus asked Reginald if he’s seen him anywhere, But the last time he saw Crusher was when he requested the day off.

Brutus had checked Crusher’s room once he got the letter, But he wasn’t in there. When he asked around, Nobody else could answer him. Worry creeped into Brutus’ mind, Trying not to assume the worst. But Crusher was tough. Surely he was okay, Right..?

“I hope he’s o-” Brutus’ mind came to a halt as he saw a dim light coming from a room.

He walked a bit closer, Realizing it was the kitchen. But that’s not what got his attention. He saw what looked like blood splatters all over the floor and walls.

“What the hell happened!?” Brutus was officially freaked out. He almost wanted to run as far away from the kitchen as possible. But if he didn’t investigate, Who would? He gathered his bravery and peeked into the kitchen. “T-Tio Crusher..?”

As expected, There were more splatters all over the room. The dim light was coming from one of the fridges being wide open. Said fridge that was once full of meat, Was now completely empty.

But the thing that got Brutus’ attention was exactly who he was looking for. Crusher was standing there huffing and shivering. His back was hunched up as he faced away from Brutus, Shirt sleeves completely ripped and one of his suspenders undone. He shakily spoke, But Brutus was unable to make out what he said.

“W-What was that..?”

Crusher stood up a bit more straight, Now no longer shivering. He spoke with a growl.

“I said,” He suddenly turned around lightning quick. He had wolf-like ears sprouting from his head, A long mangy tail, Glowing golden eyes, and a muzzle with sharp teeth that was covered in the red liquid that was all over the kitchen.

“LEAVE!!”

With that warning, Brutus immediately ran out of the kitchen in fear. Whoever that was, It wasn’t Crusher anymore, and Brutus knew he couldn’t get caught by that beast.

His legs pounded against the airship’s floor as he ran for his life. His thoughts became frantic. “Gotta get outta here before-”

A loud slam on the floor nearly made Brutus fall over, Sending him towards a wall. “SHIT!” The beast that was formerly Crusher had somehow caught up to him. He let out a low growl as his eyes seemed to pierce through Brutus.

Brutus could feel himself nearly hyperventilating as the beast glared at him. Working for the CCC, He had dealt with many different things in the past. But he never thought he’d see the day where he was facing a werewolf, Let alone one that was one of his uncles.

“Tio Crusher, What HAPPENED to you!? I need to find help before I’m dead meat!” Brutus had to think quickly, Who in the airship could help him?

Of course! Brutus quickly used an opening to swiftly escape before the werewolf could slam into him. He ran down a few halls, Trying to lose the werewolf chasing him. Soon, The werewolf seemed to have lost Brutus’ trail as he quickly went into one of the rooms.

Brutus let out a shaky sigh of relief when he realized he made it to the library. He went deeper in and saw The Witch and Five Eyes reading some spell books, Just as he expected! “Witch! Five-Eyes!”

“Brutus, You’re here late.” The Witch hummed. Usually it’s only Five and I here this late at night. What seems to be the problem?”

“Quick, What do you two know about werewolves!?” Brutus asked frantically. The two spell users looked at each other. “Well, They’re incredibly rare for one thing.” Five-Eyes answered. “They usually travel in packs and avoid people as often as possible. Why?”

Brutus let out a nervous laugh. “W-Well, There’s one chasing me right now!”

“What!?” The Witch stood up. “There’s a werewolf on the airship chasing you!? Did it follow you here!?”

“No! Th-The werewolf was my Tio, Crusher! H-He was standing in the kitchen before he just, Well, Transformed! Then he started chasing me!”

Five-Eyes thought for a second. “Tonight’s a full moon. Perhaps he was bitten and now just transformed fully. That, Or he’s always been one… He never seems to come out at night.”

No, Was Crusher, The person Brutus looked up to and saw as an uncle… Was he truly a werewolf this whole time? If he was, Brutus could at least understand why he didn’t say anything. But did anyone else know? Did Danny know?

“Either way, We need to find a way to calm him down before he kills me!”

“Well, A werewolf’s main weakness is silver.” The Witch explained. “For centuries, It’s been used as an effective method of subduing them. The other way is…” She went silent.

“W-What’s the other way..?”

“Werewolves are durable and can’t normally be killed by most wounds. However, You know how a vampire’s weak point is their heart? A werewolf’s is the neck, And the only way to truly kill them is to behead them…”

Brutus couldn’t even think about killing Crusher like that, Werewolf or not. “No! Absolutely not! We’re not killing him!”

“I didn’t think you’d want to use that method… So our only option is to use silver.”

“How much of that are we gonna need?” Five-Eyes asked. “Crusher’s a big guy, And he’s probably even bigger now.”

“For the approach I’m planning, I’d say about 4.5 ounces.” The Witch flipped through a book. “We’ll make it into a fine powder and throw it at Crusher, Which will stun him. Then, I’ll use a spell to calm him down and he’ll maybe transform back.”

“Alright, Where are we gonna get silver?” Brutus asked. “If we leave this room, Crusher will just chase us?” “Well, I had an idea, But you won’t like it.” Five-Eyes admitted. “The Witch has some silver coins in her room we can use, But you’ll have to distract him while we go grab them.”

Of course… Brutus would have to let himself get chased by a huge dangerous werewolf… “Alright, Fine… I’ll keep Crusher busy…”

“Sorry Brutus…” The Witch nervously laughed. “We can’t risk Crusher busting into my room. There’s too many valuable things in there we can’t afford to lose.” “Yeah yeah.” Brutus rolled his eyes. “If he bites me, It’s on you.”

“Oh, Just don’t let him bite you!” Five-Eyes smiled. Brutus gave Five-Eyes a dry look. “Yeah, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind Five. Thank you.”

All of a sudden, A low growl was heard. “N-No…” The Witch shuddered. “He found us… We can’t waste any more time…” Brutus sweated a bit, Realizing he had to go first so The Witch and Five-Eyes could make it out.

“Good luck guys.” Brutus gulped. “I’m risking my life for this so don’t you dare die on me.”

He took a deep breath before running out of the library, SLAMMING the door against the werewolf. Blood dripped down its nose as it let out an enraged howl, Now chasing Brutus once again. While that happened, The Witch and Five-Eyes snuck off.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Brutus panted as he ran, He didn’t know how much longer he could keep this up. All of a sudden, He felt his ankle twist and he fell over. He winced and grabbed his ankle in pain.

Brutus didn’t have long to focus on the pain when he heard a snarl above him. He looked up and saw the towering werewolf glaring at him. He tried to scoot back, But he ran into a wall. Perfect. He looked back up at the werewolf in fear.

“T-Tio Crusher! I-It’s me! Brutus! Your nephew! Por favor no me hagas daño!!”

Brutus closed his eyes as the werewolf lunged down to bite at Brutus… Before getting blocked, Biting a completely different person’s arm.

Brutus opened his eyes and saw Eden standing between the two, Large green bat wings on her back, and blood now dripping from her arm. “E-Eden!” He gasped “H-How did you-”

“I could smell meat from the other side of the airship.” She huffed. “I knew something was off with the big guy, But I wasn’t expecting this.” Eden yanked her arm away from the werewolf, Not even flinching at the bite. “Eden! Your arm!”

“Hm?” Eden looked at the deep bite. “Ah that. Eh, I’ve had worse run-ins than this. I’ve got this.”

The werewolf was about to bite Eden again, But she managed to grab its snout. “No! Down boy! I’ve dealt with coyotes meaner than you!” The werewolf growled before trying to scratch at Eden. She flinched a bit as Brutus stood back up. “B-Be careful!”

“What do you think I’m doin’!?” She flew up a bit with her wings. “This guy’s persistent! I don't think I can fight him off much longer!”

Almost on cue, The Witch and Five-Eyes showed up. “We’re finished guys!” Five-Eyes yelled. “Stand back!” Brutus and Eden quickly stood back as The Witch threw down a capsule. When it exploded, Silver dust entered the air as the werewolf snarled in pain.

Now that he was weakened, The Witch pulled out her umbrella and shot a spell from it, Causing the werewolf to fall to the ground. Slowly, It transformed, Turning back into Crusher.

“Tio Crusher!!” Brutus quickly ran over to the passed out Crusher. “P-Please be okay!” Crusher slowly opened his eyes. “B-Brute..? Ngh… My head hurts… What…” He looked down and saw meat juice and blood on his hands. He tasted blood in his mouth and quickly looked over and saw the bite on Eden’s arm.

“O-Oh my god… It h-happened again… I-I…” “Again?” Brutus asked. “You really were a werewolf this whole time..?”

Crusher looked down, Feeling extremely guilty. “I-I was… I should’ve told you… I’ve had it under control for so long. I thought I could keep it a secret but… Tonight’s full moon just took over me…”

“Big guy…” Eden could relate to not having full control over herself in these situations. “Does anyone else know..?” “Only Danny.” Crusher admitted. “He promised not to tell anybody. If he sent Brutus after me, He must’ve assumed that I’d be in control of myself and wouldn’t hurt him. I’m sorry…”

“Hey, It’s alright…” Brutus hugged Crusher. “I’m just happy you’re back… I-I thought I lost you…” Crusher immediately teared up hearing that. “No! No! I ain’t going anywhere, I promise… I’m gonna have The Witch teach me to control myself better. If she’d let me…”

“Of course.” The Witch smiled. “Now that I know what’s going on, I can help you hone your abilities better so that you don’t lose control and go on rampages.”

“Before that though, I think you’re gonna have to clean up the kitchen.” Brutus chuckled. “You don’t want Scottie and Danny coming back to the kitchen being covered in meat juice.”

Crusher let out a nervous laugh. “R-Right. I wouldn’t hear the end of it. And in the meantime, Eden should go to the medbay. It looks like I got a good bite on her.”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine big guy-”

“Eden.”

“I-I mean, Yeah. I’ll go to the medbay. Only cuz you insisted.”

“Thank you.” Crusher gave a weak smile. “I’m gonna make sure this never happens again. The last thing I’d want is to nearly hurt my family again.

Brutus smiled hearing that. Above all, He was happy to have his uncle back. Although Crusher would still have to explain to him and the others about his werewolf origins, As long as Crusher stuck with them, It would all be okay in the end.

#the henry stickmin collection #thsc #thsc oc #brutus dan gerbreaker #thsc crusher #thsc witch #five eyes #eden orchard #jay writes

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floofgryph · 16 days

Text

Criafol/Rhodopis

Species: Dark elf-fairy hybrid

Birthday: Unknown

Age: 2309 (chronologically), 24 (physically)

Sexuality: Non-binary and omniromantic

Occupation:

Merchant

Hitman for Demaryius

Bodyguard of Homeworld

Apple orchardist

Assassin for the council of gods (formerly)

Abilities:

Supernatural agility, dexterity, durability, speed, balance, flexibility, endurance, reflexes, senses, leaping, stamina, and wisdom

Enhanced accuracy

Partial immortality (the sound of church bells, crossing running water, and hearth fires can led to death)

Abnormally rapid regeneration

Absolute violence

Psychokinesis

Invisibility

Cosmic awareness

Flawless precognition

Temporary mind control

Transform into humans and animals

They can hop between different dimensions every two days

Mastery over entomology, ornithology, astronomy, meteorology, black magic, archery, and swordsmanship

Ilusion, twilight, shadow, fear, weather, insect, and thread manipulation

Induce bad luck, contagious diseases, and curses that lead to painful deaths

They can phase through objects and avoid attacks with ease

They’re able to transport to a far location with a mere thought

Their golden blood has rejuvenating properties

Personality: They have learned to move on from their trauma in order to properly perform their duties and work towards a life of peace and acceptance. However, the sounds of whips and witnessing events of assault and/or humiliation do trigger their memories of past trauma. They show numerous signs and symptoms of autism spectrum disorder or ASD such as self-isolation, difficulty with reciprocal social interactions, intense reactions to minor changes in routine, echolalia, and avoiding eye contact. As a result of her brutal training and ruined childhood, they show very few signs of antisocial personality disorder. This consists of using charisma to manipulate others, lying for personal gain, being extremely opinionated, theft, and doing dangerous things with no regard for their safety. They’re able to achieve things in a clever way, using a methodical mindset and strategic forms of deceit or evasion to get what they want or what’s needed. When interacting with people they have no interest in or are disrespectful and manipulative, they make critical and mocking remarks in a sarcastic way. They’re deeply distrustful of the sincerity and integrity of those who betrayed Demaryius and try to harm the vulnerable, viewing them as self-centred.

They treat their targets in a ruthless and cocky manner, and show deep admiration and protective kindness towards people they’re fond of. Despite their usual calm demeanour, they have a sinister presence that strikes fear in cowardly and/or uncertain hearts. They rarely get furious, impatient, and anxious, maintaining a serene disposition that’s free from stress. They’re quite reserved in speech and say very little, which makes them come off as aloof, naturally quiet, and shy. As an active listener, they carefully pay attention to what others have to say and will provide feedback when necessary. They often refrain from unfair judgement and respectfully respond to what someone has to say, but there are instances where they come off as inconsiderate. They’re incredibly wise, cautious, sometimes honest, and courageous, and they find enjoyment in helping others either directly or indirectly. As a result of their humility and mysterious nature, they’re more inclined to hide true their feelings, thoughts, and intentions from other people.

Likes: Petrichor, apple orchards, watching the sunset at an unoccupied beach, horticultural therapy, tree-climbing, insectoid and avian wildfire, horse-riding, the sound of lyres, mild weather, and exploring an abandoned residence

Dislikes: Anyone who threatens Demaryius and his children, the council of gods, corrupted royalty, traitors, forest fires, rotten apples, genetically modified foods, missing a target with her arrows (it’s uncommon), doors that aren’t closed properly, and intrusive music

Equipment:

A traveller’s backpack that holds loaves of bread and random souvenirs

A glittering ear dagger

A serpentine dagger that can shroud its user in primordial darkness

An antique purple mirror

A black magic grimoire of mouldy leather, starry speckles of saffron, a rose gold chrysanthemum decoration on the back, and sage green, amber, icy blue, and lavender eyes on the front

A deerskin pouch full of four-leaf clovers, St. John’s worts, and golden bells

A chelys with a shoulder strap that can control canines

An adamantine longsword of writhing flesh that can control holy fire and eagles

A bow made from a sacred yew tree

A quiver full of poison-tipped arrows

A caravan full of exotic items and it’s pulled by a kelpie mare they befriended

Physical and outfit appearance: They’re a 4’ 2” (127 cm) ectomorph with a pear-shaped figure, a decent musculature, elongated limbs, and upper arms that carry some of their weight. They have bronze top scars as well as healed cuts and slices on their back, and below their head, black warts are scattered across their body. They possess elvish ears that are slightly dropping, and their illuminating skin changes between emerald green, red ochre, yellow-orange, blue-green, and soft purple. They have metallic rose eyes with glowing golden pupils that become nearly a dark purple when the sun reflects them. They have shoulder-length, shaggy hair and sideburns of glistening silver-grey, which is speckled with dewdrops. They also have slightly sharp claws, draconic feet, the wings of a Halloween pennant, and a thick tail that looks like the lower half of a Papilio machaon caterpillar. They have a vaguely S-shaped azure dragon with a white-and-orange koi in its mouth tattoo on the front of their torso.

They wear a quilted tunic with orange pearl studs, deep burgundy trousers, and a leather belt with a golden lion’s head as a buckle. They don a wrap-around hood of black wool, a reddish-brown cloth mask that covers their lower face, a Turkish rose sash with vertical reef gold stripes, and an everglade surcoat with barely noticeable blood stains. They have an amulet of a Neolithic flint arrowhead hanging from their neck, a rowan bracelet with scarlet berries encircling it, and cold iron neck rings. They have silver snake bite, nose bridge, and rhino piercings, and blackish-purple tassel earrings. Bottled potions are tied to the black belt that holds up their trousers and they produce the following effects: total blindness, melting of the flesh, loss of hearing, animal transformation, contorting of the body, and an obscuring fog.

Family:

Unnamed fairy advisor (father)

Unnamed dark elf mother

Biography: They were born during a solar eclipse to a fairy advisor of King Oberon and a dark elf that lived deep in a subterranean cave. The dark elf didn’t trust the royalty in the faefolk kingdom and tried to raise them alone, teaching them valuable life lessons and showing them basic survival techniques. Their mother told them knowledgeable stories about the faefolk kingdom, the fairies, the light and dark elves, birds, insects, the sky, and heavenly bodies. When nearing their tween years, Queen Titania kidnapped them, leaving their mother to commit suicide out of grief and shame. Rhodopis was trained to be a fearsome killer, never having a normal childhood. Whenever they stepped out of line, they were whipped, assaulted, and aggressively ostracised by the knights and executioners as punishment. Their genitals were brutally mutilated and they would undergo meticulous experimentation in order to “perfect” them.

After many years of harsh training, they became a top tier assassin for the council of gods, especially for King Oberon and Queen Titania. They were responsible for assassinating and viciously torturing disobedient and treacherous supernatural beings (e.g. demons, dwarves, and demigods) and humans. As the most loyal servant and valuable asset of King Oberon’s regime, their golden blood was used to imbue each fresh apple from the royal orchard with rejuvenating properties. Rhodopis is on great terms with Demaryius and saw him as a very close friend rather than a potential lover compared to most deities and their servants. When they found out that he was betrayed and his creation was rudely taken away from him, they silently abandoned their duties. They let King Oberon, Queen Titania, and everyone associated with the royal faefolk family die from rapid aging in retaliation for Demaryius’ treatment. They were promoted by Demaryius as his hitman and bodyguard of Homeworld, ensuring that they aid in the safety of him and his children. Whenever they have free time, they’re a travelling merchant and vehemently attending to the apple orchard in Homeworld.

Fun facts:

It’s unknown why their skin alternates between a handful of colours, but it’s probably tied to their current emotional state. Emerald green means hopeful and forgiving, red ochre means passionate, brave, and angry, yellow-orange means enthusiastic and confident, blue-green means sorrowful, relaxed, and indifferent, and soft purple means ambitious, creative, and mysterious.

The skin on their caterpillar tail sheds its old skin near the middle of spring

They like to tangle the hair of sleepers into fairy-locks

They have a habit of licking their serpentine dagger

They’re not an official child of Demaryius, but he deems them as one of his own due to their extreme loyalty to him.

They view Demaryius as a kind-hearted individual who’s passionate about humanity despite some of their glaring flaws. They admire his protective nature and his willingness to teach his children to become strong people. However, they’re deeply worried about his suicidal tendencies and they hate it when he purposefully overworks himself. They would try to deter him from harming and exhausting himself whenever they’re not busy with their own duties.

Demaryius renamed them to Rhodopis because their eyes reminded him of delicate pink roses and he thought that the meaning behind their real name (Criafol means “lamenting fruit” in Welsh) was unfortunate.

They’re on very good terms with Sister Rosa due to their protective respect of Demaryius

They’re not the greatest with children due to how disturbing and uncomfortable their presence is, but Sister Rosa has taught them the basics of caregiving.

They help with teaching the older children of Demaryius how to wield swords and daggers, and shoot arrows with a bow.

Their kelpie friend is named Cáelfind who enjoys talking about the ocean with Rhodopis, early dawn strolls, and eating red grapes.

They sell items that range from utterly weird and disgusting to strangely pleasant and calming

The chelys was a benevolent gift from a young woman they saved during one of their last missions as the assassin of the council of gods. It was the young woman’s way of thanking them for saving her from her treacherous werewolf husband.

Whenever they’re not working, they’re either playing their chelys, taking a stroll through gloomy forests, or wood-carving with their ear dagger.

They named the chelys Lycaon

They named their flesh longsword Prometheus

They named their yew bow Yggdrasil

They named their ear dagger Rostam

They named their serpentine dagger Carnwennan

Their favourite entertainment consist of Shakespearean plays, classical music concerts, horse-racing events, cockfighting, short stories that contain elements from folklore and mythology, and fairy tales.

They like to drink watermelon-flavoured water, raspberry lemonade smoothies, and cappelletti spritz

Their biggest comfort food is raw salmon and cooked gnocchi with crusted rosemary scalloped potatoes and lobster mac n’ cheese.

They hate it when people make teasing jokes about her size and blank expressions

They enjoy drinking herbal tea with Miss Katherine and combing her dark purple hair

In regards to Miss Katherine, they understand how it’s like to struggle with handling children and to have autism.

They view Miss Katherine as a mother figure because when she talks about her novels, it reminds them of how their mother told them bedtime stories.

They enjoy teasing Maverick for having no penis

They like hearing Percy’s dark jokes

They act as an emotional listening device for Svyatopolk to rant about his problems

Demaryius, Sister Rosa, and Homeworld belongs to @nunezs-stuff

Miss Katherine belongs to @vanillafalvoredcoffee

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spaceratprodigy · 17 days

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could i bother u for more thoughts on faith and max in a mock apple orchard 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

@gayafsatan — I would absolutely LOVE to brainstorm some fun ideas of them in a mock apple orchard!!

I've been replaying again so they've been rotating around in my mind a lot extra hard and was especially thinking about mock apple picking bc the botanical labs also has a lil orchard where you can pick mock apples up off the ground! But I'm currently in Roseway so oughhh.. ideas....

I want you now I am going to ramble a LOT so please bear with me I swearsies it'll be more fun if we get the full lore dump from my brain 😩💖💕

–

👇 ROSEWAY THOUGHTS 👇

(I AM GOING TO TALK ABT ROSEWAY THOUGHTS AS A WHOLE AND THEN EASE INTO SOME SILLY MOCK APPLE ORCHARD IDEAS AT THE END OKAY. OKAY ILY THANK YOU).

–

My thoughts are very chaotic and rambly so let me try to walk though my ideas lmao

Roseway is typically where I peg Faith's death wish arc happening, and to summarize what all that entails, it's when the mask slips and the weight of everything finally hits her in full force.

I always envision this story happening over a long period of time so a lot of time has passed since first arriving at Edgewater and the Groundbreaker.

Halcyon. Her situation. Her identity. The life Phineas threw her into abruptly and his expectations for her. Making split second moral decisions where no matter what someone is going to get hurt. Being so alien and alone, no one to understand her or believe in her predicament but having to be the mysterious competent captain regardless.

It finally gets to her. Bad. And she makes some self destructive decisions. She gets sloppy, careless, hoping someone else will end this nightmare for her. Until they almost do.

I am swiftly brushing past many details so we don't get too lost in the sauce. But Max went after her, found her collapsed and injured bad, carried her back to the ship for Ellie to do whatever she could, and then stayed by her side for as long as it took for her to wake up.

This is such a key moment for them getting closer. Because there was a lot of frustration and emotion and being forced to confront the possibility of feelings existing, but nothing they fully understand or are ready to acknowledge as such yet.

She tries to brush past the subject of what happened, deflecting everything until he raises his voice in a way he hasn't since she gave him the journal and she threatened he never talk like that to her again. And it was enough to break through her facade, for her to show just how utterly broken and vulnerable she is, and they have a proper fucking conversation about where she's at mentally. He still isn't ready for the truth about her life before. But it's a step forward.

There is a lot of patience and understanding and just. Yeah. A lot happens here. Some walls come down. There grows some room for them to become softer and closer over more time.

All of this is important because a short piece I had written a long time ago took place in this area roughly after this incident.

It was a personal outlet vent piece, I will be honest. When I wrote it it was after I had a very bad panic attack after an awful scare. And I wrote it into Faith because I just wanted to get some feelings from that experience out of my system.

The shortened version of that one is Faith recovering from a bad episode, trying to calm her breathing, waiting for her ears to stop ringing and for her vision to come back. Her legs gave out on her and she was sitting under the mock apple trees. Her voice locks up on her when she's seriously distressed. Yadda yadda yadda, Max had brought along his datapad so she could communicate anything important and she was incredibly confused because she knows he doesn't like using his datapad ever and then rendered even more speechless to know he brought it specifically for her in case something like this were to happen again. It ends with her just asking if he would keep talking to her, and they sit there under the mock apple trees for a while, in no particular rush to get anywhere.

And after this point, I think the mock apple orchards become a really peaceful, therapeutic spot for her when she just wants a moment to herself. Sits there, breathes, takes in the Roseway scenery and collects herself before jumping back into the horrors of Halcyon. Spends some time picking mock apples to take back to the ship.

I've been having a lot of ideas of her asking Max to go with her. I'm of the mind if she'd ask directly that he'd either decline, or at least pretend to be uninterested but she's the one who asked so he accepts the offer.

But I can see her being vague and just saying that she's heading out if he'd join her and she leads him to the orchards. By this point they're already often in each other's company, she indulges his interests often, letting him be the one who is finally listened to. But in general, they get along very well in conversation when it comes to a handful of similar interests and their personalities and attitudes bounce off of each other well.

(In my story anyway, since she spends an extended amount of time in Edgewater and the Vale, there was also a lot of time spent doing some early bonding with Max. So do with that info what you will. They're not likeee besties yet but they're much more than strangers by this point, ya'know? Just to get an idea of where their familiarity with each other is at and why there's enough respect and trust to some extent already existing. Not to mention how much time they had spent on the Groundbreaker).

They'd be having such a peaceful time away from the rest of the crew.

Oughhh hear me out, okay, Faith loves to bake. She doesn't even ask, she just makes Max hold her bag open while she starts collecting mock apples and after they finally head back to the ship she figures out how to make mock apple pie for the crew 😭 we already know Max doesn't care much for sweets (I wonder how sweet or tart a mock apple pie would be.. Faith girl what all Halcyon ingredients are you adding to that bad boy) but.. what if.... After everyone goes to bed...... He tries some anyway........ Because she made it..........

Most of what's bouncing around in my brain is them early on having wholesome bonding time in a spot just for the two of them. Just enjoying each other's company. Realizing they have genuine respect for each other, Faith feeling like she found a genuine friend who went to lengths further than anyone had in her entire life to make sure she survived. I am specifying Faith's feelings here intentionally. I write Max in a more complicated spot very blinded by his revenge scheme more or less unaware for a long while just how much the lines start blurring between his faith and his Faith. To put it succinctly. (Look I know I'm always drawing The Good Stuff™️ but in actuality their relationship is suchhhh a slow burn. They are not the most romantically inclined people lmao).

But also.. once she realizes she can talk to him when she needs to. I think coming back to this spot, off the ship, away from the crew, she just likes it there. She likes being there with him. She finds comfort in that spot.

OKAY BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WOULD BE CUTE.... they should come back here.. post-scylla and post-gorgon...... Ya'know......... The first being when they establish not wanting to be apart and the second being when they want to make that partnership a permanent one......... ASKING HER IN THE MOCK APPLE ORCHARDS WOULDN'T THAT BE DARLING ough okay I need a minute my brain is going too fast to comprehend

My Roseway ideas aren't the most cleaned up I know BUT so many important bonding moments exist and oughhhh LOOSE IDEAS ARE STILL WORTH TALKING ABOUT OKAYYYYY

I just want them to go mock apple picking together and learn how to get smiles out of each other and not understand why it makes their chests hurt but they know they need to do it again

ACTUALLYYYYY post-scylla when he's much more mellowed out and they're the closest they've been I think would be so so nice. they'd be so much softer and he'd probably be so much more involved in wanting to enjoy silly lil activities with her.....

Currently imagining him reading out loud to her, all the conversations they'd have, maybe he brings his tossball cards to show her, maybe they bring one of the lil games, have a lil makeshift picnic....

Godddd the transition between just how much enthusiasm he shows spending time with her is enough to make me explode. Can you see my vision. The reluctance, to the hesitancy, to becoming absolutely inseparable.

I HAVE A LOT TO THINK ABOUT BUT I'M GETTING SLEEPY SO SENDING IT!!!!!!

Literally feel free to add on or share your own thoughts I'm begging you lmao I promise there is so much room for ideas to be fleshed out and better put together, I'm mostly just spitballing what all I think would be incredibly fun ideas to work with. Plus I'm kind of thinking across the timeline and how much their relationship would change between each visit. And how over time they would enjoy it more and more and make each visit more special than the last.

WAIT BEFORE I LOSE THE THOUGHT!! They make a stop RIGHT BEFORE HEADING TO SCYLLA TO GO TO THE HERMIT'S LODGE!! Oh that could hurt so good omgggg. Okay okay I need to stop now I NEED TO STOP.

#MY DEAR FRIEND I WROTE SO MUCH I APOLOGIZE AHEAD OF TIME #I had a LOT of roseway thoughts I needed to get out of my system #that lead into why the mock apple orchards would be such a special spot they'd want to keep returning to 😭#my thoughts are all a mess tho I know I know I have a lot that's needs cleaning up and better fleshed out #but hey! what's the point of having ideas if you can't talk about them no matter what stage of development they're at!!#enjoy my long winded roseway ramble #I really do think the orchards would make such a lovely spot to just be alone and bond #not that it was ever their intention. it certainly wasn't supposed to happen he'd think.#yet there he is. unable to deny her invitation and realizing all too late how many details about her he has committed to memory #always so collected and calculated. never stumbling on his words. always knowing just what to say.#until it comes to her. until she days his name. until her voice like a siren song has his tongue tied in knots.#'vicar max if you prefer brevity' he tells her. yet maximillian she'll call him. letting his name linger on her lips for as long as possible #I think I need to go lay down #faith and max #my writing #long post #says*

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zoobie-the-popplio · 24 days

Text

Imagine writing a scene this sinister looking...

#steven universe #lily orchard #meme #steven universe meme #imagine writing a scene this sinister looking

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lily-orchard-gossip-blog · 1 year

Text

So I said that I was thinking of doing a little breakdown of why Lily's writing was so boring, and this is me doing that.

This is going to be very technical, though, and it's not going to have much narrative analysis in it.

So I'm not going to be talking about Lily's problems with story, character or settings. That's its own can of worms, and isn't actually the main cause for why her writing fails to entertain.

So... what is the problem; Is it the lack of good words? The constant use of past tense? Non-existent imagery? A failure to invoke any sensory detail at all?

All correct, and definitely something I should cover later.

But not the main issue, which is...

Her sentences are WAY too long.

Alright, I guess I should explain.

When you write a story, it's usually a good idea to mix up the lengths of your sentences.

Short sentences are great for fast-paced moments. They help showcase anger, panic, intensity, or even convey the urgency of a scene.

But if you over use short sentences, your story could read as choppy or even kiddish.

Long sentences are great when you want to invoke a character giving careful consideration, slows a scene down, and stops the reader from plowing on faster than you want them to.

But on the flip side, they can also be incredibly long-winded, and exhausting to read.

This quote from Gary Provost explains it pretty well:

Alright, cool. But what does any of this have to do with Lily and her writing?

Everything, my dear reader.

Lily writes run-on sentences after run-on sentences. She's consistently writing 20+ words per sentence, and even goes as high as 40 at certain points.

This is the sentence length from chapter 1 of TSR:

And this is just the intro. It actually gets so bad that she almost had a fifty-word sentence at one point.

The only time this lets up is when Lily writes dialogue. However, most of her sentences from the dialogue scenes range from 17 to 19 words, unless a character is speaking.

And, since I know you're curious, yes. This is consistent across most of her fics. Here's a shot from Two Loving Mothers:

Here's a snippet from the Sith Resurgence Wiki:

And for fun, here's one from a WOW fic she wrote called This One Has Suffered Enough:

Now, a devil's advocate would argue that Lily isn't always writing long sentences. She's got sentences under twenty words, too, so why is it a big deal that Lily has longer sentences?

Well, for starters:

The longer you make your sentences, the harder they are to understand.

Long sentences force people to slow down and work harder to understand what you've written.

Long sentences can make the point hard to figure out.

They can also be incredibly draining to read.

The problem isn't that Lily is writing long sentences. The problem is that Lily is consistently writing long sentences in almost every paragraph.

When you add this on top of Lily's already formal style of writing, it kills the engagement even further. It starts to remind people of all those research papers they had to read for school.

Part of me can't help but wonder if one of the reasons Lily writes with such length, is because she wishes to invoke more sophisticated literary styles.

But there is a difference between:

A few years ago in fact, when she was just a teenager, Aliana had come to Jakku with her mother and had spent most of the day with a very young and very distraught looking scavenger who seemed to struggle to pull parts off a downed speeder. (Sith Resurgence Chapter 1, 47 word sentence.)

And

The impression I had was that we were leaving the West and entering the East; the most western of splendid bridges over the Danube, which is here of noble width and depth, took us among the traditions of Turkish rule. (Dracula Chapter 1, 40 word sentence.)

In Dracula, the long sentence cleverly uses a semicolon. That semicolon indicates to the readers that the sentence has two different idea's that are being bridged together. That way, our brains have to do less work in reading it, and, the author can still get us to slow down and pay attention.

In Lily's sentence, while it's readable, it's also inefficient.

The sentence doesn't need to be 47 words long. If you cut out the fluff, and reword it to be more efficient, you can easily weed it down to 35 words, which, while still isn't great, is much more concise.

Here's just a quick rewritte of that very same sentence:

When Aliana was a teenager, she had come to Jakku with her mother and had sent most of the day with a young, distraught looking scavenger, who struggled to remove parts from a downed speeder. (35 words)

Of course, there is a lot more to go over, beside simple rewording, but that's for another post.

The point I'm trying to make here is simple:

It doesn't matter how good of a writer you are. If you write nothing but long, difficult sentences, your reader is going to get bored. They are going to stop paying attention, and they will abandon your story.

And I've just decided to make this a series, because they are other issues that bug me just as much as this!

#lily orchard #bad writing

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