Hurtful Words • Nick Sturniolo
Synopsis: Nick and his boyfriend get into a fight the night before leaving for Boston. After some of the harsh words from Nick, his boyfriend is left hurt and uncertain of his place in his boyfriends life.
Pairing: Nick x male reader/character (no y/n but also no other name used, he/him pronouns)
Tags: angst, hurt, a bit of sunshine!reader x grumpy!nick, nick has a panic attack, comfort (happy ending because I guess I'm not 100% evil yet)
Nick had been extremely stressed all day. Nothing was going right, first he woke up late and missed his meeting. Then, he went to edit a video they had prefilmed to post while him, his brothers, and his boyfriend would be in Boston, just to discover the SD card was corrupted and nothing could be salvaged from it. Next, he developed a horrible headache as he was rushing to finish up packing for the flight tomorrow morning. Now, he was getting ready to film a replacement video with his brothers right as his cheerful boyfriend strode into his bedroom. Fuck , Nick thought to himself. He had forgotten his boyfriend was coming this early.
“Hey!” his boyfriend smiled as he made his way over to him, arms open for the usual hug they’d share. Most always, his boyfriends sunny disposition made him smile, but today it just made him irrationally angry.
“Hi,” Nick responds flatly, not meeting his partners eyes as he dodged the hug and affection being offered. If Nick had been looking up he would have seen the look of confusion and concern flash across the other man’s face as his arms lowered to the side upon seeing that Nick clearly didn’t want a hug.
The other man frowns as he takes in Nick’s disheveled appearance, hair sticking up from most likely stressful tugging, a clenched jaw and tense shoulders. Knowing Nick for almost a year now, he knows his boyfriend isn’t one to immediately talk out his feelings, so he doesn’t ask but quickly concludes it must have been quite a rough day for the brunette. Usually in these situations, they’ll cuddle and relax and watch some stupid TV show, so that’s what the man suggests. To which, Nick scoffs.
“I don’t have time to just lay around with you, I need to go do my job, I have so much shit I need to do before tomorrow,” Nick gripes, moving around to grab the camera and SD cards off his desk, stuffing them into a bag to take to the car where he’s sure his brothers are already waiting for him. In packing he’d lost track of time, looking at his phone to see its already 17 minutes past the time they said they’d meet in the garage.
His boyfriend nods in understanding, seeing the obvious stress practically pouring out of every pore of his boyfriend. He reaches out a hand, gently touching Nick’s arm, trying his best to sooth him.
“is there anything I can do to help?” he asks softly.
“Jesus Christ!” Nick exclaims, feeling overwhelmed by everything all at once, like his skin is on fire and every little thing makes his head pound even harder, yaking his arm away from the other man’s touch “yknow what actually, there is. Just leave me the fuck alone for two seconds!”
The man frowns slightly, taking a step back at Nick’s sudden outburst, wrapping his own arms around him, head cooking to the side minutely.
“we’ve been apart all day? I’m just trying to help, I’m sorry sweetheart,” he says softly, trying to give him a soft smile, which just makes Nick scoff and roll his eyes again. A deep frown paints his boyfriends face at the reaction, the man tightening his arms around himself, shoulders hunching in slightly.
“And you come in here all fucking smiles and hugs. you’re just happy all the fucking time. Just this fucking ray of sunshine. Some of us fucking aren’t. Maybe this just wasn’t a good idea.” Nick spits out, his words venom. Part of his brain is yelling at him to shut up seeing the hurt look spreading over his boyfriends face, but the angry voice overshadows that one, just wanting everyone to feel has horrible as he feels.
“What? What isn’t a good idea?” the man asks him, voice small, fearing the answer. Did Nick mean him coming to Boston along with his brothers to finally meet his parents? While he had been nervous about meeting his boyfriends parents at first, in the past few days he had become quite excited. Thinking of meeting his family, his family dog too. He had bought gifts for them all, even a chew toy for Trevor. Even today, the young man had found himself daydreaming at work, thinking of how well it all might go, imagining them all sitting around a table looking at photo albums and smiling as he learns more about the past of the man he so desperately wants a future with.
Nicks quick response has those hopes shattering, along with his heart.
“This. Us. I don’t know. I just need to fucking breathe. I’m leaving to film with Chris and Matt. Bye.” Nick half yells, voice strained as he stalks his way to the door, yanking it open and slamming it shut as he leaves, leaving a tearful man standing in the middle of the room wondering where it all went so wrong.
Nick was distracted the whole entire time they were filming, overcome with guilt and regret. He had been so harsh to his boyfriend, his number one supporter, next to his family of course. Flashes of the other man’s hurt face flicker in his mind, the timid and soft nature he had taken on as Nick raged at him, a shadow of the mans usually bright and bubbly demeanor. Even when he was short with him at first, instead of just leaving, his sweet boyfriend had still apologized and compassionately offered help. And what did Nick do to show his appreciation? Told him callously that maybe them dating had been a bad idea.
That wasn’t true in the slightest. They’d been together 7 months at this point, and it had been some of the happiest months of Nick’s life. He’d experienced a happiness that he never thought he’d get even remotely close to again, and this was how he repaid the man? Throwing his cheerful and sweet nature in his face as if it was something to be ashamed of? It made him sick to his stomach to recall how he’d behaved.
Noticing their brothers distraction, Matt and Chris suggested cutting the video short, under the guise of wanting to get on good nights sleep before their early flight home. The drive home was quick and quiet as Nick thought of all the ways he’d apologize to his sweet boyfriend who had a heart almost too good to be true.
The brothers quickly said goodnight and parted ways, Nick taking the stairs two at a time to get to his room so he could ask for the man’s forgiveness. Upon opening the door, he’s met with disappointment. He had left. Nick knew he shouldn’t be surprised though. As he pulls out his phone to call the man he knew he had hurt, a bag on his bed catches his eye, along with a note. He peaks in the bag, confused upon seeing four boxes wrapped in a plain purple wrapping paper, as he picks up the letter, recognizing the handwriting and feeling his heart clench painfully in his chest as he begins to read.
Nick,
I’m sorry, I never meant to upset you. I know I can be a lot, and I understand if it’s gotten too much to deal with. I was really looking forward to seeing Boston and meeting your family. But it’d be silly for me to tag along now, at this point. I had gotten some things for your parents, Justin, and Trevor. I was hoping you’d maybe give them to them for me?
Don’t worry, I’ll pay you back for my plane ticket if it’s too late to cancel it.
Thank you for the last 7 months, they meant the world to me. You did, too.
Nick feels tears gather in his eyes, beginning to stream down his face as he sits the letter down and quickly scrolls to his contact on his phone.
"please, pick up, pick up, pick up" he mutters, sniffling as he waits and hopes he'll answer. A shred of hope blooms upon hearing his call answered answer, the soft noise of a car engine in the back. Good, maybe his boyfriend hadn't made it home yet.
"baby?" Nick sniffles slightly, voice cracking. He hears the man on the other end of the line sniffle too, and he feels his heart crack a little more. he'd made his sweetheart cry.
"what do you need, nick?" the other man asks softly and tearfully.
"I need you. please turn around, I know you’re still in the car. I'm so sorry," Nick pleads.
"it's okay Nick," he sniffles, "just give those gifts to them, please?" he asks.
"no, I'm not," Nick cries, tears streaming down his face, one hand clutching his hair as the other clutches his phone against his ear, sagging against the wall and sliding down it into a heap on the floor, his chest feeling tighter and tighter.
"okay, I'll get them back from you when you guys get back home," he offers, which just makes Nick cry harder. He really fucked up this time.
"no, no you're supposed to give them to them, I want you to, I want you to turn around and come back here so I can tell you how fucking sorry I am and kiss you and watch a stupid movie with you and then we get up and we go to Boston tomorrow morning and you get to meet my family and see where I'm from and everything and they'll love you and your little gifts and your smile that can light up a room and they'll love you because I love you," he pleads over the phone, desolving into sobs on the phone.
the other man on the line tears up again at the sweet words and obvious remorse, and he wants to respond to them but Nick is spiraling in regret and sadness and he can hear that it's getting harder for him to breathe through his cries.
he turns the car around, beginning to take a shortcut back to the triplets house.
"Nick, I need you to breathe," the man says softly, hearing the loud cries through the speakers of his car.
"No, I'm not Nick, you never call me nick when we're alone, its always Nicky or sweetheart or babe," the brunette sobs, still feeling like his relationship is slipping through his fingers, and it's his own fault.
The man grips his steering wheel a little tighter, driving a little faster.
"I'm sorry sweetheart, I just need you to breathe for me, in your nose and out your mouth real slow for me okay? you know that box breathing technique I showed matt a few months ago?" he softly asks Nick.
"Yeah," Nick sniffles, breathing still shaking and disordered.
"Good baby, I'm going to count and I want you to breathe with me okay? I'm almost there but I need you to breathe for me until I get there, okay?" He asks softly.
As he continues to drive, he counts off and listens as Nick breathes with him, slight sniffles still present as he tries to focus on getting his breathing regulated with the knowledge that his boyfriend is coming back.
Nick doesn't even register the sound of his boyfriends car turning off or the sound of him using his house key to get in. his head jerks up to look up from his spot on the floor to see his boyfriend standing in his doorway. He quickly moves from his position on the floor, getting up and launching himself into his boyfriends arms.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean a fucking word I said," he sobs, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend tightly and burrowing his head into his neck, his tears wetting the skin. His boyfriend holds him just as snuggly in his arms, rubbing a soothing hand over his back as the other hand cups the back of his head softly.
"I know, its alright," the man sooths, but the words have an opposite affect on Nick, as the brunette pulls back quickly as he shakes his head.
"It's not alright! I was mean because I had a bad day and my head fucking hurts, and I hurt you. You didn't deserve that. I love you, and I love your personality and how loving and happy you are. It isnt something I or anyone should throw in your face. I should have talked to you, I should have thanked you for wanting to help me. I'm so sorry, ill be better, I'll get better at talking to you and communicating and not just blowing up at you for no reason," Nick sniffles, roughly wiping away his own tears.
"Okay, I forgive you," the other man offers softly, as he gently pulls Nick's hands away from the rough rubbing of his face.
"No! You shouldn't just forgive me, why are you being so nice right now?" Nick objects, confused by his boyfriends behavior as more tears make their way down his face.
The other man smiles softly and sadly, guiding his boyfriend over to the bed and sitting, pulling Nick down to sit right next to him. He gently guides Nicks head to rest on his shoulder as he wraps his arms around the man in a comforting embrace that Nick easily allows himself to be pulled into, the closeness easing the pain and regret in his heart.
"Let me ask you a couple things, okay? Maybe that'll help you understand why I'm forgiving you?" he offers, carding his fingers though Nick's hair softly, as he feels Nick nod and whisper is consent into his shoulder.
"Do you genuinely regret how you treated me?" A quick and firm nod from Nick.
"Do you see how hurtful your misplaced irritation can be?" Another firm nod and squeeze from Nick's arms around him is felt.
"Do you genuinely plan on working on communicating with me and being better in the future so this doesn't happen again?" Another nod and squeeze.
"Do you still love me and want to be with me, and want me to come to Boston with you?" This receives the fastest nod and squeeze of all the questions, making the man smile and turn to press a soft kiss to Nick's head.
"See. You acknowledged and took ownership of what you did wrong, you plan to work on being better, and I know you're genuinely sorry and regret hurting me the way you did. I trust you, so I trust what you say and the fact that this will not happen again. We will deal better the next time," he explains softly to the man in his arms.
"Okay. I promise I'll do better, I love you," Nick hoarsely whispers against his shoulder, cuddling more into the other man's side.
"I know, I love you too," Nick smiles wobbly as he hears those words and feels another kiss pressed against his head. He leans up, softly pressing his lips against the man's jaw, then his cheek, then thr corner of his mouth, smiling when we feels the skin move under his lips into a matching smile. Then, Nick presses their lips together in a soft and gentle kiss, trying to convey all the love and warmth he feels for the man in his embrace. His own ray of sunshine.
author's note: hey! i hope yall enjoyed! if you have any nick requests feel free to send em my way! im slowly but surely getting back into writing and i really want to write more for nick :)
no tag list on this post because I'm getting ready to redo my old tag list since most either aren't active anymore or have new usernames
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Ask Game To Get To Know You
Tagged By @tea-em0 🖤
What book are you currently reading?
Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix, which seems to be about a curse ikea ripoff, which i’m thrilled about
What’s your favorite movie you saw in theatres this year?
I don’t think I went to the theater to see anything this year, the last movie i saw in theaters was the second venom movie
What do you usually wear?
i work a lot so technically work scrubs but if i am at home it’s almost always jeans and a band t shirt
How tall are you?
5’4
What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?
i’m a taurus and i feel like there’s someone important i share a birthday with but fuck if i can remember who
Do you go by your name or a nick-name?
My name is not my legal name but it is my name, yknow. sometimes people call me greg.
Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?
god know, baby grey wanted to be a veterinarian and now i cook food for a living. how far we’ve come
Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?
as of almost exactly one month ago i have a lovely partner 🥰
What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?
i am good at working under pressure, but i’m very bad at staying sane under pressure
Dogs or cats?
Cats. There is nothing wrong with dogs but if i don’t say cats my cat will somehow know and won’t cuddle me anymore
What’s something you would like to create stuff for?
I want the write more Malevolent fic, I’ve still got so many ideas on deck that haven’t seen the light of day
If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?
there’s not really a specific line but the entirety of my malevolent fic “drowning in a dream (that i can’t escape)” is some of the best writing i’ve ever down and if you know what song the title is from please marry me
What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?
i’m rewatching black sails with my partner and a few friends and it’s still the show of all fucking time. also as always, malevolent my love
What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?
i don’t think i’ve really had any disappointments this year, it’s actually been a pretty good year
What’s a hidden talent of yours?
apparently i can do amazing things to potatoes. also i can lift a grown man which is apparently shocking lmfao
Are you religious?
no in the slightest
What’s something you wish to have at this moment?
free train ticket to california and a nap
tagging:
@willowchord @voidofthestars @shorter-than-her-tbr-pile @romanticslimecreature @ohboywonder @keynoi @annebonnydyke and anyone else who would like to do it, because i forget i have friends the second im asked to name them
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Ok ko and souls
Souls. They're a thing. Basically like glorbs except purple. We've only ever seen them once in the short Enid's Bad Day. Yknow, the one where Enid stole and ate the souls of everyone in the bodega? Yeah, that one. That sparked a theory in me. What if souls are the main source of people's powers? I mean...we don't really have any explaination for the powers all heros and villains posess, but think about it. When Enid stole everyone's souls, why didn't they try and stop her? Use their power moves? I know at least half the people in there were around Enid's level! What if it's becauss without their souls they didn't have the ability to?
Now, the description of souls as "purple glorbs" becomes more relevant when you consider this theory. Souls give power. But what else does? What powers machines such as the sentient boxmore bots or the op, world bending hack pack? What caused Fink's turbo transformation and allowed the Point Prep students to power up? Glorbs? And though Glorbs are a teal color, the energy associated with them is often purple.
So what if Souls and Glorbs are the same thing? They're similar enough. I believe that as time goes on, though, they become less and less stable. Bright purple in-the-body souls grant sentience, keep a hero strong, and is the source of their power. Now, once the soul is gone from the body, a person clearly keeps their sentience. But not their powers. As the soul gets weaker it turns a more blue color. These glorbs can grant sentience still, and are the kind kept in the Boxmore robots. And I believe they're the reason Tko is both as strong as he is, and as much of an actual person as he is. Up until the episode You're In Control, Tko is seen as two things, depending on who you are. Some uncontrollable, almost inhumane ball of rage who wants nothing more than to see people hurt, or an extension of the negative emotions of Ko. Just Ko's emo phase. At the end of You're In Control, though, Tko does something out of character for either of those descriptions. He gives in. He makes a trade with Ko. If he was just a malicious ball of rage, he wouldn't yield to Ko's demands, and if he were just an extension of Ko, then he wouldn't have any demands of his own outside of something Ko may feel. And I don't think Ko wanted that punching bag. After that, Tko became more of a person with his own thoughts and feelings and opinions. And what happened in that episode? You may not remember this. But Tko swallowed some glorbs.
I think that Glorbs/souls, being part of the body, works like anything else produced by the body. For example, think of it like white blood cells. If you have a healthy amount of them, then upping the production or adding more will have negative side affects. Elodie, Sparko, and Fink all had one healthy soul in their bodies, and so when they got an extra one, it caused them physical side affects. The crash we see when the power high glorbs cause wears off, such as how Sparko ended up on the ground, clearly disoriented, or how Fink collapsed in Venomous's arms after her power high. Meanwhile if you're in need of power or sentience, the glorbs will react positively. Like a blood transfusion. Ko swallowed the glorbs and it gave Tko conciousness. The robots have sentience and power because they're powered by glorbs, aka souls.
I think, as I said before, that souls get weaker with time. I believe that when a soul is completely faded of it's energy, the physical body finally deteriorates. And I think that when a persons soul is completely gone they turn into gloops. Gloops are similar to the gem shards in steven universe. Always looking for the missing pieces of themselves and destroying anything in it's path to get to it. I also believe that's why the only instance of a gloop causing physical harm to someone in a way that isn't just consuming whatevers nearby, is in the episode Do You Have Any More In The Back?. Because if you recall, a gloop shot some sort of shock at Enid when she tried to touch it. She has the power to steal and eat souls. It would have seen that as a threat. How couldn't it?!?
And I've always wondered why Shadowy Figure wanted Ko instead of Enid or even Rad. Rad would have been dumb enough to help Shadowy Figure get access to those glorbs, and Enid certainly would of had the initiative to go down to the tree and the power to break the seal on the room. They'd both cause damage more effectively too if they went on a Tko style rampage.
Now, at first I thought maybe it was because of Enid's power over souls. If she figured out his plan, she could effectively and easily keep them from him. But he wouldn't know that. I mean...the only reason he knows so much about Ko is because he's most likely actually Laser Blast.
But then I realised. He needed a Tko style rampage in order for his whole plan to work. And he wouldn't be able to do quite that in Rad or Enid. Because Tko had always been inside of Ko. And that's not normal. There was a little piece of corrupt energy inside of Ko all along. And it doesn't make sense why. I mean...Ko just being special for the sake of it doesn't cut it in my eyes, idk about you.
What if it has to do with those weird orb thingys from that unknown villain? What if they can take souls? I believe that this orb takes the souls of whoever touches it, corrupts the soul, and spits it back out in pieces. So if you were nearby, it could potentially make you more powerful or morw evil. And who waa in that room?
Laser Blast, who I theorize faked his own death and stole a ton of the orb things? Foxtail, whose clearly a villain? Carol, who goes into the woods and becomes some feral creature occasionally? And of course, since Carol was pregnant, there's Ko, who had an evil, unordinarily powerfull alter ego inside of him all along.
And maybe that's why Shadowy Figure looks so different from Laser blast. The orb got him. He has no power anymore and as the power from his soul fades his body is changing as well. He needs glorbs, aka souls, and he needs them now.
So the big question is; who's this big mystery villain that caused all of this? I'll be trying to figure that out. I'll be skimming though things that happen in the future, aka looking at that big war Red action was part of. I'll be looking at Boxman and Professor Venomous because as much as I don't think they actually have anything to do with Shadowy Figure or Point or any of that, they have something to do with glorbs as well, and so their info can be usefull. I'll be paying attention to why Gar and Carol were attacked by that "destroy point" one eyed rock thing recently, because maybe they did something slightly beforehand that'll give us some insight. I'll be thinking about why Gar built his store where he did, of course. Idk, let me know if you make any connections or find anything wrong with my theory. I'd fucking love to hear feedback, no lie.
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