#or my cleithrophobia is kicking in | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thdorkmagnet · 2 years

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My New Fear

Hey everyone, welcome to another Starco fanfiction! So waaaayy back in the day I wrote an alternate ending to “Game of Flags” that ended up being my very first entry to the Star vs fandom and well I figured I could try my luck again by doing an alternate take on “My New Wand”. It’s not an alternate ending since I kinda just created a new scenario for Marco getting locked in the closet to help draw the plot out a little but I think it works well enough. This is actually an idea I’ve had for close to four years now but just never had the will to write it all out until now. Hope you guys enjoy!

Disclaimer: Star vs and all it’s characters belong to Daron Nefcy and Disney. All rights go to them.

Cleithrophobia: the fear of being trapped, locked in, or unable to escape.

The time had come for Star's room to get cleaned, Marco starting to worry the mess would start spilling out into the hallway if something wasn't done about it. And since getting his friend to do anything work related was close to impossible he had taken it upon himself to at least try and tidy the messy pigsty Star's room had become. Of course first he needed her out of the house. But it just so happened fate was on his side that day as Star had already made plans to go to the mall with Janna, all Marco had to do was act natural until the two were out of the house. From there Marco was free to do whatever he wanted with Star's room and he had wasted no time getting right to work.

It wasn't an easy job by any stretch of the imagination but it was rewarding to see the clutter slowly disappear and he had done it enough times at this point that he had learned to streamline the process. Picking up trash, organizing Star’s desk, kicking out the rabid raccoon hiding under her bed, it was all pretty much second nature to him and each task felt as simple as breathing. He couldn't remember how he had gotten started cleaning Star's room for her but now it had become an almost obsession of his, keeping constant tabs on the condition of his bestie's room. Yet somehow, through it all, Star had yet to notice his handiwork, usually too distracted cooing over something cute to pay any mind to any change in her room’s state, and Marco was perfectly content keeping it that way.

The boy hummed softly to himself as he pushed a pill of empty candy wrappers into the trash bag he had brought with him, nodding and smiling at his work. “Star’s desk, done!” he said to himself, looking around the mostly cleaned room with pride and satisfaction. He figured that was a good place to call it a day, anymore cleaning and Star might get suspicious, he should just go and-

But the boy paused as he noticed Star’s closet was open. That’s strange, Marco thought. Star usually locks her closet. In fact, usually Star was very guarded about that part of her room, not that Marco ever pried, it was none of his business to go pawing through her stuff. The boy was about to close the door when something caught his eye. Star’s wand was in there, as was her spellbook.

Marco frowned. Now that was really strange. Star never went anywhere without her wand, but he shrugged it off figuring she must have forgotten it. Marco stepped inside, he’d just move it real quick for her. The last thing Star needed was to think she had lost her family heirloom and the source of her magic. But the moment he was through the door, it slammed shut behind him, trapping him inside.

Panic surged through Marco, his breath hitching as he felt the gust of wind on his back, the sentencing thud behind him causing him to practically jump out of his skin. His heart pounded painfully in his chest as he slowly turned to the closed door. His vision began to sway as he regarded the sealed exit making it difficult for him to concentrate or form any rational thoughts. Already the room was starting to feel smaller and he was very aware of the distance between him and every wall.

Marco forced himself to take a deep breath, calming himself down enough to think. It was fine. No need to panic. There was probably a very easy way out of this. He didn't need to get worked up over nothing.

Reaching out a shaking hand he tried the knob but no matter how he turned it, it stayed in place. Locked. He was locked in. Marco's breath came out in frantic puffs but he still did his best to keep his mind calm, reassuring himself with soothing words.

Okay no problem, of course it was locked, he would just find another way out.

Calling for help would be pointless since he was alone in the house, Star at the mall and his parents at work so he would need to get himself out on his own if he could. He examined the door a bit closer, the wood didn't seem that thick, he might be able to break it with brute force.

Marco pressed his palms together before beginning the breathing technique Sensei had taught him. In and out. In and out. Slowly and deliberately. The move he had in mind required a clear head to pull off and if he didn't he was liable to break his hand. Mind over matter. He could do this. He had already done it many times before. It took several minutes but eventually he felt his body relaxing, his heartbeat slowing to a normal pace and his mind clearing, until he felt he was ready.

With one last cleansing breath, Marco released a fierce yell, swinging his arm forward and striking the wood in what he presumed to be a weak spot. A loud crack followed… unfortunately it didn't come from the door.

Marco felt the bone in his hand fracture, sending shockwaves of pain up his arm. He howled in agony, clutching his throbbing hand to his chest, clenching his eyes shut as a few hurt tears dripped down his face. That should have worked. He had broken thicker boards than that at the dojo. What was Star's door made of?

He tried flexing his fingers a few times to see if the bone was broken, gritting his teeth against the nearly unbearable pain, but the slight movement he was able to get was conclusion enough he hadn't broken it. It was probably just a small fracture, nothing too serious (he hoped). Knowing his hand wasn't fully out of commision did give him some temporary relief but it was short-lived in comparison to the real issue, that being he was still locked alone in a closet.

Marco briefly considered trying to break the door down using his shoulder but thought better of it, afraid he'd end up agitating his injury and would more than likely only end up bruising his shoulder. No, brute force wasn't going to get him out of here, that much was clear.

This brought all the fear he had done his best to conceal racing back, his chest constricting painfully, every breath escaping in a forced wheeze as Marco clutched the front of his hoodie in a death grip. It was all he could do to stand upright, his legs shaking like crazy, threatening to give out at any moment. Why did the air seem thicker now, like he was breathing in smoke instead of oxygen? With each gasped breath he felt a little more of his sanity slip away.

Still he fought back the irrational fear clouding his mind and poisoning his body, using every ounce of willpower he had to calm the torrent of negativity building inside him. He reminded himself that all hope wasn’t lost, that there was one option left to try. Star probably had the key. He would just call her and she'd help him out.

His brain instantly protested this plan, reminding him that Star was on the other side of town, depending on her would mean staying stuck in this cramped closet even longer but he shook his head free of such thoughts, instead focusing solely on calling his friend for help. He plopped down in the middle of the closet, keeping as much distance between himself and the walls entrapping him, and ripped the cell phone out of his hoodie pocket.

It didn't take long to find her number, she was always calling him about something or other, sometimes when they were practically right next to each other. Come to think of it, Star had been extra clingy lately, barely letting him out of her sight and even following him into the bathroom when he showered. He hadn't really thought anything of it before since they were always so close but lately it was like they were attached at the hip. Today was the first day in weeks the two were apart and that was only because Marco had turned down Star's offer to tag along in favor of clearing out the clutter in her room. A decision he was really, really regretting.

Marco's fingers shakily hit the 'call' button on the screen and he pressed the phone to his ear, listening to it ring as he silently begged Star to pick up.

After four rings she did, Marco never happier to hear her cheerful tone than in that moment, "Hey Marco, what's up?"

"Star," he choked out, the relief palpable in his tone and he could feel the beginning of tears in his eyes.

He must have sounded worse than he thought because Star's voice immediately switched from giddy to concerned in less than a second. "What's wrong, is everything okay?"

Marco tried his best to respond calmly so as to not worry Star anymore than he had, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his sleeve. It didn't make sense to him why he was so worked up over this, it's not like he was in any danger, so why was it affecting him so badly? "I, uh, sorta got locked in your closet."

"What? What are you doing in my closet?" The worry was still there but now there was a new undertone to her voice: suspicion. Clearly Star wasn't a fan of him being in her closet. The feeling was mutual.

"I was just trying to tidy up your room a little and the door locked being me," Marco explained, his breathing feeling heavier by the minute. He really wished she would just hurry over and let him explain after he was out of this cramped prison.

"Oh," Star said simply, before the fear returned. "Oh. Oh! Hang on, Marco. I'll be right there!" He heard some ruffling and clattering through the speaker, probably as Star rooted around in her purse looking for the dimensional scissors. Marco heard her slap her forehead, before exclaiming in panic, "Oh dip! I totally forgot I left them in my room!"

Marco felt his heart seize up at that and he had to bite his lip to keep the whimper from escaping. The room seemed smaller again, like it had magically shrunk around him when he wasn't looking. He wasn't sure if he had completely lost it or if the magic was just messing with him again? It was hard to tell the difference where Star's magic was concerned. "Hey, Star, does your closet magically shrink or something?" he asked breathlessly. Great, and now his lungs were turning against him. What else could go wrong?

"Uhhh, no. Not that I know of," she replied confused.

"Okay, nevermind then." He tried to play it off casually but that was hard to do when it felt like your lungs were rejecting you.

There was a pause on the other end of the line and Marco knew his act hadn't fooled her in the slightest. "Just try and stay calm, alright." She sounded like she was talking to a toddler and he would have been offended if he wasn't too busy trying to just breathe like a normal person. "I'm on my way, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Marco nodded, even knowing she couldn't see it. "Yeah, yeah, sounds good," he said, every word trembling in his throat. His finger hovered over the button to hang up, but something made him hesitate. He should just end things there, before he made it any worse, before he scared his bestie anymore but he couldn't do it. Some terrorized part of his mind still had something to say and it would make its voice known no matter how much Marco begged it not to. Before he could stop himself, the words escaped his throat in a weak, pathetic whimper, "Please hurry."

Before he could hear whatever sympathetic answer she had to give him, he hung up, mechanically stuffing the phone back into his pocket. He sighed, rubbing harshly at his swollen eyes, mentally berating himself for showing so much weakness. What was wrong with him?! Now Star was probably panicking, even though there was literally nothing to panic over! It was just some stupid closet, it wasn't like he was dying, so why did it feel like it? This should be nothing, he literally punched monsters three times his size on a regular basis, how was this his breaking point?!

Anger shot through his veins and without warning he punched the door with all his might. White hot agony shot through his hand thanks to the reckless action, giving him a painful reminder of his injury. Marco felt the bones grind together and didn't bother to hold back his scream, his body curling around his broken wrist, cradling it weakly as he rocked back and forth.

If his wrist wasn't broken before, it was definitely broken now, the skin around it swollen and bruised, while the wrist itself was twisted at an awkward angle. Marco swallowed back the bile as he waited for the pain to ease. He braced his back against the door, watching the world spin in nauseating circles.

He wasn't sure how time passed when Marco finally got his bearings back, minutes, seconds, hours, it was impossible to tell. He listened closely for the sound of Star's noisy footsteps but the house remained silent, he was still alone. Marco shuddered but didn't let the thought take hold. He had to hold it together just a little longer.

The rational part of his mind managed to reach through the chaos, reminding him he needed to keep his arm as steady as he could to avoid agitating the bone anymore. He didn't have the materials to make a cast but maybe he could put together a make-shift sling. He took a quick look around the closet for anything of use to him, his eyes landing on a small pile of scarves and fabric. Perfect.

He scooted over to the pile, getting right to work on making his sling. It was slow going since he only had use of one hand but he was eventually able to tie the various fabrics together, using his teeth to pull the knots tight. Once he was done, he wiggled it onto his body, delicately placing his arm in the sling.

He let out a trembling sigh, thankful he finally had some relief, since every jerky movement had caused a new wave of nauseating pain to surface. At least now he could rest his arm until Star arrived.

Speaking of Star, what was taking her so long. Surely she should be back by now? It's not like the mall was that far away. Had something happened?

He really hoped not, she was his last option out of there and Marco wasn't sure how much longer he could last in this enclosed space.

Stop it, he berated himself. These thoughts were not helping, they were only making him feel worse. Nothing good would come from following this train of thought m. The only way he was getting out of this was with a positive attitude. He just needed to have faith Star would pull through.

The one good thing that had come from breaking his wrist was that he had regained control of his breathing, able to take in slow, even breaths. Focus. He could do this. He just had to hold out a little bit longer.

A minute passed and still no change. It was okay, just breathe.

Then two minutes. Star was coming. She promised.

Three minutes. Where was she? It was getting harder and harder to stay calm, every second slowly chipping away at his sanity, his breathing becoming ragged again as his thoughts shifted to more menacing subjects. He noticed he was starting to shiver, his sweaty skin freezing in the chilly air. The sensation, coupled with his failing breaths, seemed to trigger something in his mind, like an eerie sense of deja vu. Almost like he had somehow been here before…

Realization hit him like a truck and he immediately tried to force the thought back into his subconscious, but it was too late, the memory had already taken hold, flashing back to that dreaded day. It was as if he was there all over again, trapped behind a layer of unbreakable crystal, watching powerlessly as Star fought for his freedom. She got close, managing to break the crystal in a devastating attack (one that Marco hadn’t known she was even capable of) but the crystal grew back and to his horror, the glass box he was in began to slowly lower towards the ground. Panic flooded his system as he watched his tiny prison shrink, the ceiling closing in on him with each passing second. He tried to keep his wits, fighting with all his strength to keep the thick glass from lowering any more, even knowing it was a losing battle. His instincts screamed at him, telling him to escape, to claw and scream but he had to stay strong, he refused to let his friend or his kidnappers see his fear. But eventually his arms gave out and the glass kept coming, weighing down on his weak body. As it pressed down on his chest and he felt the breath flee his body he had cracked, giving Star a begging look as he called out to her for help.

A second later and he would've died, he could feel it, feel his body failing as he drew closer and closer to death, the air being slowly drained from his lungs, his frail body being squeezed mercilessly. It was a grim feeling knowing you were going to die, made all the worse knowing what Marco would have left behind, what it would have done to Star.

When the crushing weight had finally lifted off of him, Marco's entire body had ached and yet at the same time it was a relief he had never known, he would have laughed, screamed, or cried if he wasn't desperately trying to suck as much air into his tortured lungs as possible. He still thought about that moment, sometimes late at night, halfway between awake and asleep, when the last dying ember of thoughts were ceasing to form. It had been a euphoric feeling, made him appreciate the life he still had to live so much more, but there had also been darkness there, pulling and tearing at his heart, and that guilt, that fear and hate lingered far longer than the memory of being crushed.

He had shoved it all down of course for the sake of Star. He owed her that much after she had willingly given up her magic for him, a gesture he never went a day without forgetting. That was a big part of why he cleaned her room behind her back, he wanted to make it up to her in some way, even if she didn't want him too. He knew Star wanted them to be equals, to not keep score but he couldn't help but feel he owed her a debt in some way. Old habits died hard, he supposed.

And now, with that clarity finally in mind, he understood where all this panic was coming from, all those troubling thoughts and emotions had come crawling back to him the moment he was locked in this confining closet, he had been reliving that moment from the start.

But of course, knowing did nothing to soothe the tempest growing inside him. If anything it only made it stronger. He had thrown open the floodgates to his soul and now he was drowning. The walls were moving once again, bearing down from all sides. There was no escape, no way out of this.

His breath was now nothing more than hollow wheezing, each tortured gasp strangled in his throat and forced through his aching lungs. His chest felt constructed as if some invisible weight was pushing against him, the pain only growing more prominent until Marco feared one of his ribs would crack under the pressure. He curled up into a ball, trying to take up as little space as possible but he knew it would be pointless in the end, eventually the walls would reach him and then he would be crushed.

He was going to die. He was sure of it this time. This wasn't the way he had always thought he would go out. He had always hoped he would grow old and get married. Maybe even have kids. There was still so much he wanted to live for. How could he die now when he hadn't even told Star he loved her. A few tears slid down his cheeks but he lacked the strength to wipe them away. How did everything go so horribly wrong?

"Marco!" Star's voice cut through the despair and fog that clouded his mind, bringing Marco back to himself. "I'm here! I made it!" She sounded out of breath, clearly she had run most (if not all) the way there.

Marco had never been happier to hear her voice and he collapsed onto his back, pressing a hand to his forehead, while his body trembled from the whole horrible ordeal. But best of all, his head finally cleared as the terrible thoughts retreated into the back of his mind where they belonged. "Star, thank goodness, I thought I was gonna lose it," he said softly.

"Well don't you worry, Marco. I'll have you out of there in a jiffy," Star replied, her sweet tone a raft in the middle of a vast ocean, keeping him grounded and safe.

Marco stood, ignoring the jolts of pain from his arm as he moved over to the door. He wanted to bolt out the moment it was unlocked, who cared if it was cowardly or embarrassing, his sanity was hanging by a string and the slightest tug would make it snap. He rested his good hand on one of the narrow slats on the door, barely able to make out a figure on the other side, soft golden hair and fair skin, unmistakably Star.

He watched as Star turned her head to the left and then the right, almost searching for something. "You do know where the key is, right?" Marco asked, trying to ignore the goosebumps on his skin. He had an odd feeling that something was wrong, that he had missed some detail. He hoped whatever sixth sense he was experiencing was wrong. He couldn't stand being in this closet any longer.

"What? Oh, I don't use a key. I use my wand. I just gotta find it," Star absentmindedly explained, clearly inspecting her room for any signs of her family heirloom.

Marco felt his stomach drop, a wave of dizziness and nausea hit him so strongly he nearly collapsed to the floor. Tight coils of fear wrapped around his heart, squeezing tightly until he feared it would burst under the pressure. "Star, I-I have your wand," he squeaked, his voice cracking on every other syllable.

There was a small pause on the other side, probably as Star processed the seriousness of the situation. Finally she yelled, "What?!" Marco probably lost some hearing from Star's unexpected shriek. "No, no, no, that can't be right! Maybe you've been in there so long you're hallucinating. Yeah that's it. It's probably on my bed or the desk or one of laser puppies ate it-"

"Star, it's definitely in here. I have your wand." Marco's shaky voice managed to cut through his friend's rant, leaving her in an uncomfortable silence. He didn't blame her. Marco wished he could deny the reality he was stuck in too but all it would do was waste time. He wasn't going to drag Star into any delusions or false hope. The reality was that he was trapped and no amount of pretending could change that. Eventually they had to face the music.

Another shudder ran up his spine. Man, he hated this feeling. The suffocating pressure pushing against his lungs, the cold, slick sweat dripping out of every pore, the uncontrollably shaking that felt like it was rattling his bones. He hated all of it. It was like drowning on dry land and no matter what he couldn't get his head above water. With every pained breath he felt his lungs ache, it was only a matter of time before they failed him completely.

He hadn't even noticed Star was talking again, her words seeming to brush against him like wind against his face, always reaching him but never sticking. He forced his scrambled brain to focus on her words, though she didn't even seem to be speaking to him anymore. "I totally got this handled! There's gotta be another way to get you out! Like, uh, uhhhh catapult! Yeah! I bet that could get the door open! Oh no wait, I let Janna borrow it."

Marco could hear her feet shuffling around outside the door and he guessed she was pacing. Still, she never sounded more than a foot away from the door and Marco was grateful for that. Even if he couldn't see her, her presence was doing wonders for his sanity, just knowing he wasn't alone in his cramped prison with only his thoughts to keep him company.

"Oh, oh, you could use the wand!" Star shouted, snapping Marco back to reality. He hadn't even realized he had zoned out again or how much time had passed between, if any time had passed at all. Time didn't seem to exist in this rectangular realm. "No wait, you'd totally die," she mumbled to herself.

Marco felt his heart lodge in his throat, his dry mouth making it impossible to swallow it back down. His legs gave out on him, causing Marco to slide to the floor, his body curled up around the door in some kind of desperate bid for comfort. He begged it to open, to miraculously free him in the same way it had trapped him in here in the first place… but it stayed closed. The nightmare continued.

The noise must have startled Star because she suddenly asked, "Marco, are you okay?!"

He wanted to give her an honest response, to shout that of course he wasn't okay, he was trapped in a closet with no way out and he felt like he was suffocating. But he couldn't do that to his bestie. It wasn't her fault he was in this miserable situation and she was doing all she could to help him, if he said any of those things she'd probably blame herself and he couldn't do that to her. So instead he just weakly lied, "Y-Yeah. I just tripped."

Marco heard Star's sigh of relief through the thin wood, before she declared, "Okay, we really gotta get you out of there. Hang on, Marco. I'll get us some help. Hopefully mom or Glossaryk will know what to do."

For some reason this scared Marco even more, the idea of being away from her for even a second too much for him to handle. She was the last bit of his sanity, if she left his mind would break, he was sure of it. "No, don't leave me!" The shrill scream escaped his lips faster than he could process. The rational part of his brain scolded him for being such a coward but he couldn't stop himself if he tried. The fear now controlled his words and it didn't care how ridiculous it made him look. "Please, don't go," he whimpered, leaning his head against the door. How pathetic could he get?

Star seemed just as confused by Marco's behavior as he felt, saying in a quizzical tone, "Uhh, it'll be okay. I'll just be gone for a second. I'm still in the room and it's not like you're alone."

"Nooooo!" Marco screamed, sounding like a scared child. "Please, you can't go! I need you!" He was starting to cry. The tears burned as they dripped down his cheeks. What was wrong with him?

"Whoa, whoa, hey, it's okay. I'll stay, just calm down." It was clear Star was at loss on how to help her friend. Marco didn't blame her. He didn't know what to do either.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, quietly enough he knew Star wouldn't hear it. A silence grew between the two, Marco just shedding guilty tears and Star feeling powerless to change that. Even though she didn't say a word, Marco could feel her presence through the door and it made him ache in a way he didn't know was possible. His fingers itched to reach out and touch her, to hold her in his arms like he had done so many times before. Only now he might never get to do that again, this might be as close as he could ever get to his best friend. Now might be his last chance to tell her…

"Hey Star," his voice was soft but stronger than it had been a minute ago. "Why am I your best friend?" It wasn't what he meant to say but maybe it was an answer he needed to hear.

"Huh?" Star sounded confused. He didn't blame her, he was too.

"Let’s face it, I'm just a burden to you,” he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut as he recounted every horrible mistake he had ever made. “Getting kidnapped by Toffee, almost kicking you out, and now this!” He let out a disheartened sigh, one that carried all the guilt and shame that was etched on his soul. “I wish I was someone you could depend on but I'm not."

"Marco, don't say that!" Star shouted and he hated the worry in her tone. It was his fault she sounded that way. "I depend on you for lots of stuff!"

"Yeah, but not when it matters!" Marco spat, shaking with anger and regret. "Because of me your wand got destroyed! Because of me you had to give up the most important thing to you! I don't care if you got it back, how am I supposed to live with knowing what you almost gave up for me!"

"Oh Marco is that what this is about?" Star asked, her voice full of kindness and empathy. "That wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could have done."

"Exactly!" Marco hissed, his fingers clawing at his hair, threatening to rip it up from its roots. "I couldn't do anything to help! If I had been stronger or fought harder or done something differently it wouldn't have come to that!"

"You don't know that, Marco! That Toffee guy was crazy!"

"But I don't want it to be that way! I want to be able to help you the same way you always help me!" Marco hugged his legs tightly to his chest, hot tears of frustration burning his eyes. "But how am I supposed to do that when a stupid closet beats me!" Marco slammed the back of his fist into the door, uncaring of the pain it caused, barely avoiding damaging his remaining good hand.

He waited for Star to offer some form of argument or reassurance but for once she was strangely quiet. Maybe his careless punch had rendered her speechless or maybe she was just afraid to admit what he already knew. That it was all true. After all, she had pretty much already said so. "Do you remember what you said, right before Toffee took me?"

Marco heard her swallow hard through the thin wood but she still didn't answer him. She didn't need to. They both knew what he was talking about. "Do you know what hurt the most about it? I couldn't think of a reason either. I… don't know why we're friends."

Marco sniffed, swiping away a few stray tears with his sleeve. "Everyone knows you could do better than me. It was really just dumb luck we became friends at all. If Skeeves hadn't made me your guide, if my parents hadn't offered to let you live here, you probably wouldn't even know who I am."

The tears were falling harder now, faster than he could catch, soon his cheeks were stained with unending tears. "I'm not even good enough to be your bodyguard." Marco chuckled humorlessly, still swiping at his eyes even though it was a losing battle.

He leaned his head back, just staring up at the dark ceiling with blurry eyes. He felt numb, empty, there was nothing left inside him. But there was one last thing he needed to say, the thing he had meant to say all along. And somehow it was the most difficult and painful thing to get out. "And you wanna know the most pathetic thing? I still let myself fall in love with you."

Marco’s head fell backwards as he stared up blankly at the ceiling, waiting for his bestie to reject him. But oddly, Star didn't say anything. In fact, she had gone completely silent. He could no longer hear any movement from the other side of the door or see her outline through the cracks and Marco felt a spike of fear, worried he had scared her away. "Star?" He called hesitantly.

A bright light shot through the narrow slits in the door, blinding Marco and sending him scrambling away, screaming in fright. His heart pounded a mile a minute as he watched the door fearfully. The light was still peeking through the cracks, a luminescent blue that seemed to radiate with power. Something about the glow was familiar, he could feel a tingling in the back of his mind, trying to remember where he had last seen it. It had to be coming from Star, nothing else made sense and yet that shouldn't be possible. He still had the wand, it was still locked in this cramped closet with him. So how could Star be using magic?

There was another bright flash, leaving Marco temporarily blind, followed by a faint click. He blinked, questioning if he had heard that right, maybe his ears were playing tricks on him now too. All at once the glow was gone, leaving Marco alone and stranded in the darkness of the closet once more. His eyes struggled to readjust to the low lighting but he still crawled closer to the door, hesitantly calling out his friend's name. "Star?"

The door suddenly swung open, the surprised but relieved face of Marco's best friend greeting him on the other side. He felt his breath hitch, new tears springing to his eyes, but all he could focus on was Star's smiling face, offering him freedom and escape.

He threw himself at her, catching Star off-guard. It was rare for Marco to initiate a hug, especially with this much vigor, and the sudden shift in weight was almost enough to throw Star off her feet. “Whoa, Marco!” she squeaked, barely managing to keep her balance as she grabbed onto her friend for support, her cheeks heating up in a blush. But her embarrassment and surprise did little to distract her from Marco’s condition, noticing the arm he had suspended in a sling. “Oh my gosh, are you okay?!” she asked in a panic, trying to pull away so she could examine it but Marco didn’t release his hold, the blush returning to her cheeks. “Uhhh, Marco, I kinda need you to let go now.”

But Marco didn’t hear her, lost too deep in his own world, focusing only on soaking up as much of Star’s warmth as he could. He needed this. Needed to feel her presence to be sure she was real, that his mind hadn't officially snapped. There was little mistaking this from another delusion though, as he breathed in her scent and felt her warm breath against his cheek, every sensation was telling him that this was real, that he was safe. It was difficult to believe after all that time in fear, but as he let out a long, exhausted sigh, he felt his body start to relax for the first time in what felt like hours.

And of course the tears were quick to follow.

"Awwww," Star cooed as she felt the first tear drip onto her shoulder. She didn’t bother to fight his hold anymore, realizing just how much he was depending on it, waiting patiently for him to let go. In the meantime she did her best to comfort him, listening to his pain-filled cries and rubbing soothing circles in his back, all while whispering sweet words into his ear. "Shh, shhhh, I got ya, little guy. You're safe now."

Slowly but surely Star’s method began to take effect, Marco’s sobs winding down to mere whimpers, the chaotic pounding of his heart stilling into a slow, even beat, and even his breathing returning to its steady pace. Once he was calm enough, he pulled away sheepishly from Star, his eyes lowered in shame and embarrassment. He shuffled a bit away from her (though he kept a wide berth from the opened closet), giving her some much needed space, hoping that made up for the unwanted hug.

"Uh, sorry. I-I don’t know what came over me," Marco muttered, the color of his face now matching his hoodie.

"Oh no, it's totally fine," Star replied equally as awkward, her fingers absentmindedly twisting a strand of blonde hair. It didn't take a lot of guesswork for Marco to know what was on Star's mind, her discomfort as clear as day. Marco had a talent for reading his friend and knowing exactly what was on her mind, though Star probably held the same power over him.

He found himself regretting his earlier choice of words, reprimanding himself for confessing his feelings to her so carelessly. Why couldn't he have kept his mouth shut? This was exactly what he had been hoping to avoid. Everything was super uncomfortable now and it was all thanks to his impatience and panic. If he wasn’t careful he could ruin his friendship with Star, the best thing that had ever happened to him, and it would be all his fault. But how was he supposed to act now that she knew? Should he deny it? Pretend like it was just a slip of the tongue in a moment of panic? Did he even bring it up at all? Maybe the two could just act like nothing ever happened? That would probably be the best option. That way he wouldn't lose Star.

"I think you're wrong, by the way." Marco suddenly glanced up, matching his bestie's stare, her face still bright pink. "A-About being useless I mean," she continued, quickly explaining in case he accidentally misunderstood her meaning. "I've never seen you that way. You do way more for me than you give yourself credit for. Like seriously soooo much. More things than I can probably count. I don't know what I'd do without you, honestly." Her expression changed for a moment, a look of sadness flashing across her eyes before vanishing.

"And you know what, who cares you got caught by Toffee! You wouldn't have even been there if it wasn't for me!" Star's voice slowly started to rise. She was brimming with confidence now, leaning a little closer to Marco, trying to cross the unspoken distance between them even if only in actions alone. "He only kidnapped you to get to me, so if it's anyone’s fault, it’s mine!”

"No, Star, don’t do that to yourself," Marco argued, moving closer so that he could grab her hand. They were now only inches apart. "That wasn't you."

"Well it wasn't you either!" Star shouted, her eyes flooding with tears. Marco was taken aback to see his bestie crying, his eyes wide with worry, studying her expression closely. Star sighed before starting again, gentler this time. "The truth is I knew it was upsetting you." She paused before adding, "Okay maybe not this much… but enough." Star sniffed, wiping a few stray tears away. "I wanted to help you but I didn't know how. So I thought maybe if I could protect you it would somehow be enough to fix all this! So I stopped going to other dimensions, and did my best to keep an eye on you and just, y'know, try and keep you away from anything that could upset you. Which I obviously failed at!" She gestured to the open closet and Marco couldn't help but shiver.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Marco asked.

"Because I was afraid you blamed me," Star admitted sadly.

"What?!" Marco exclaimed. "Why would I blame you?!"

"Because I let it happen to you. If we hadn't gotten into that stupid fight if the first place, none of it would have even happened! It's bad enough I said all those awful, untrue things to you but then I didn't even notice you had been taken! I almost got you killed over a stupid sandwich!"

"Star, I never blamed you," Marco said softly.

"Well you should have!" Star exclaimed, finally rising to her feet, now towering over her crouched friend. "I made you doubt our friendship! That you had to have a reason why I care about you…" Star's angry eyes faded into a loving look. "But I don't need a reason to care. It doesn't matter how or why we became friends, Marco, the only thing that matters is that you're the most important person in my life! You're my best friend! That's all the reason I need."

Marco stared back completely awestruck. "I-I had no idea." He hung his head, letting his thoughts tangle together until it was impossible to tell one from the other. "I… guess I always thought it was just something I had to prove. Like no one would believe it otherwise. Even you."

Star sighed, crouching back down and hugging him tight, careful to avoid his broken wrist. "Oh Marco," she cooed. "I'm sorry I never noticed it sooner."

"I-Its okay, Star," Marco assured her, his cheeks flushing brightly. Now that he had admitted his true feelings not just to Star but himself, he couldn't help but feel a bit awkward having her this close to him now, even if her hugs still filled him with a contentment and happiness only she could provide him.

He was still conflicted on how to handle things now that Star knew. He should be trying to keep his distance with her, at least until these confusing feelings managed to calm down. If they calmed down. He had already waited months for that to happen but they only seemed to get stronger with time. And even if that wasn't the case, he wasn't sure if he could do that. Star was much too important to him for him to hold her at a distance.

He wasn't even sure if these feelings could be called love. This was completely different from his crush on Jackie, he had always watched her from afar, never really knowing her but always wishing too. With Star, it was so much more than that. He knew her as well as he knew himself, possibly more. He knew her dreams, her fears, her insecurities. He had seen her at her worst and her best and accepted both. If that wasn't love, then what else could it be?

"Uhhhh, Marco?" Star's careful tone brought Marco back to reality. He hadn't even realized he was hugging Star back or that she was now waiting on him to let go, and he definitely didn't want to know how long he had been doing so.

"Oh sorry!" He squeaked, holding his hands awkwardly in the air, afraid of touching her again and beginning the whole uncomfortable process over. "Guess I got carried away," he muttered, licking his dry lips nervously.

For some reason, Star only smiled in response, her cheeks painted in a warm blush. "Soooooo, you have a crush on me, huh?" Star outright asked, catching Marco off-guard.

Marco nearly choked on a gasp, stumbling backwards, barely managing to catch himself with his elbows. He hadn't expected her to just blurt it out like that, especially so nonchalantly and he struggled to even form words to reply. "Oh, uh, I-I didn't mean to say that. I was just in a really bad place and it just sorta slipped out," he stuttered, unable to meet his bestie's eye. "We-We can just pretend I never said anything."

Out of the corner of his eye, Marco saw Star tilt her head to the side, regarding him curiously. "Why would we do that?" She asked calmly. Something about her tone seemed to be trying to tell him something but he was way too panicked to decipher it.

Marco wasn't sure how to answer that. Isn't that what she wanted too? "Uhhh, so that things won't be weeeeiird?" He hesitantly responded, fearing he was somehow saying the wrong thing.

Star sighed deeply, giving Marco a disbelieving frown. "Marco, I'm trying to say I like you too," she finally admitted,spelling it out for her oblivious friend.

"Oh." Marco said remarkably calmly. "I didn't pick up on that at all." It took a few seconds for that process in his head at which point he loudly exclaimed, "Wait, you do!"

Star smiled at his delayed reaction, holding in her giggle at his adorably shocked face, his eyes practically bulging out of his head and his face the darkest shade of red she had ever seen. She nodded, saying in a sugary sweet tone, "Duh, of course I do. I told you earlier you were the most important thing to me, remember?"

"Yeah but I thought you meant like as a best friend!" Marco exclaimed, still completely dumbfounded by this new revelation.

Star gently swept a hand through his hair, the sensation creating goosebumps all over his skin. "Well would you believe me if I kissed you?" she asked and Marco nearly died on the spot when he realized she was flirting with him.

"That might help get the point across," he shyly replied, though he was sure he was smiling like a dork.

Star giggled before slowly moving in for the kiss. The moment their lips touched, Marco felt a spark of electricity shoot through his body and he shivered in excitement. There were no words to properly describe their first kiss, not that he could even think of any now that his brain had melted into a puddle of goo. Her lips were sweeter than any candy he had ever tasted and every little movement sent shockwaves crashing against his functionless brain. He moaned in delight as the kiss continued to stretch on into the endless seconds, time losing all meaning under Star's influence. Soon her soft lips had full control of his reality, every beat of his racing heart, every breath that escaped his lungs, every atom in his body all belonged to Star. He had given himself to her completely.

Eventually though, Star had to pull away for breath, her warm pants puffing against Marco's cheeks his brown eyes locked with her blue. "So, proof enough for you?" she asked, her eyes glittering with joy.

Marco nodded dumbly, managing to move his lead tongue enough to answer. "Yeah, don't think I can argue with that."

Star repositioned herself so she was next to Marco, their shoulders just barely touching, "Good because I'd hate for my boyfriend to think that I don't like him."

"Boyfriend?" Marco repeated excitedly.

"If that's cool with you," Star said, her confidence slipping for a moment as she bit her lip nervously.

"Are you kidding? Yes, I want to date you!" Marco replied enthusiastically, his cheeks starting to hurt from how wide his smile had grown, not that he cared. He couldn't help himself as he looped an arm around her waist pulling her all the way to him, burying his head in her shoulder. He wanted to show her exactly how he felt right then, needing her to feel the same love that held him captive, to squeeze her the same way his heart was being squeezed.

Star's cheeks flushed bright red as the space between them disappeared before cupping his head in her hands, gently pressing her cheek to the back of his head, his soft hair tickling her skin. "Y'know as awesome as this is, I feel kinda bad you had to go through all that first to get here," Star said with a small frown. "Not exactly the most romantic way to start things off."

"Yeah," Marco agreed, tightening the hug even more as a familiar fear clung to his heart. But it held no power over him now, not while he was in the safety of Star's presence, and it fled as quickly as it came. "But it was worth it," he added honestly.

Now that he was reminded of his short, traumatic time in Star's closet, it occurred to him he still had one piece of unfinished business left before he could put the whole horrible incident behind him. "Oh, that reminds me," he said, digging around in his hoodie pocket. He quickly whipped the wand out of his pocket, offering it back to its rightful owner. "I believe this is yours, milady."

"Thanks!" Star said, taking the wand back from her bestie. "But don't call me milady," she added, shooting him a frown.

"Fair enough," Marco agreed, holding up a hand in surrender, which Star grabbed ahold of, staring him lovingly in the eyes.

The two stayed like that for a moment, their cheeks burning red before the blonde said, "So, uh, we should probably do something about your arm."

Marco looked down at his make-shift cast. He had been so distracted by Star's confession he completely forgotten about it. "Oh yeah. I should probably get it put in a real cast, I just kinda uses what I had at the time."

"Leave it to me," Star said with a confident smile, holding up her wand which glowed with magic.

Marco cringed, memories flooding his head and he clutched his arm close to his chest, shifting away from his girlfriend. "Uhhhh…"

Star gave him a knowing look, hands on her hips. "Come on, Marco, do you really think I'm gonna make the same mistake twice. Have a little more faith in me than that."

Marco had no good argument, meaning he had no choice but to hesitantly agree. "Yeah, you're right," he said, gingerly holding out his broken arm as far as it would go without hurting. The blonde smiled excitedly before waving her wand, a flash of pink magic bursting from the crystal star in its center.

The make-shift cast disappeared, immediately replaced with a new, better one. It was bright pink, almost neon, with adorable stickers plastered all over it, such as hearts or bees or puppies.The cloth was soft and comfortable, his skin could breathe through fabric while still holding his arm snug in place so he couldn't injure it further. It was easily the nicest cast he had ever had and he couldn't help but gawk at it awkwardly for a moment.

"Wow, Star, it looks awesome! Thanks," he said, smiling sweetly at his girlfriend.

Star nodded, looking proud of herself as she twirled her wand around in the fingers. "Told ya I knew what I was doing," she smugly replied. “And look…” She pointed to a fancy cursive signature written in purple ink. “I even signed it.”

“Well, now it’s perfect,” Marco said with a nod.

“So since your arm is out of commission how about I make you some nachos while we wait for your parents to get back?”

“Only if you let me supervise,” Marco said, looping his arm through Star’s.

“Fair,” she agreed as they headed for the stairs.

"So there's still one thing that's been bugging me," Marco said, a thoughtful look crossing his face.

"What's that?"

"How'd you use magic without the wand? I mean I'm assuming that's what that blinding light was."

"Uhhh, I don't know," Star admitted. "One minute I'm fine and the next poof I'm glowing and floating in the air."

"Weird," the two said as one.

"Maybe the true magic was our love for each other," Marco said dramatically.

"That's lame, Marco," Star deadpanned. "But possible, I guess," she added more sweetly. "I'll just have to ask mom about it later… Among other things I gotta tell her." She gave Marco a knowing look which caused his face to blush bright red.

He recovered quickly enough, asking Star, "But before all that can you do me a favor both as your boyfriend and your bestie?"

"What's that?"

"Get a normal, non-magical lock on your closet."

Star giggled, pecking him once on the cheek. "Deal."

And that does it for this fic! Really hope everyone enjoyed reading it! It was pretty fun to finally get to write. Like I said at the beginning the idea came from a long time ago when I had the idea of Marco having PTSD after getting nearly crushed to death in “Storm the Castle” and being trapped in the closet in “My New Wand” would send him into a full-blown attack. It really made me re-think that whole episode and the idea just sorta wrote itself from there. Also this was sorta a side idea I had for a full fic in which Marco was actually held captive by Toffee for three months before rescue. It was supposed to be all about his healing and recovery but I scrapped the idea in favor of my main fic “Light of the Sun and Stars”. I still really liked this idea though and decided that at the very least I could write that into a fic and I’m glad I did :) It ended up being quite a fun ride.

So anyways that’s gonna do it for me, stay awesome Stardom!

#Star vs #My Writing #Starco

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peebee-writes · 2 years

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Moon’s Dusk: The Light of Gehenna

Chapter 3: Cleithrophobia

My head hurts. It’s the first thing that I notice as I wake up. The pain causes my entire body to tense, and I curl up on the ground where I lay, grasping at my head with both hands.

I can’t even bring myself to want to open my eyes. My mind immediately goes to the sensation of my face slamming into the hard wood. Was I really hit that hard? It feels like my brain is trying to force its way out of my nose…

“Pain’s pretty intense, huh?” A painfully loud voice states, prompting me to try to force my eyes open. “Don’t worry. I gave you some medicine, so that should clear up soon. It just takes a bit of time to kick in.”

My vision wobbles for a second before focusing on a girl sitting directly in my vision, wearing an enthusiastic look on her face. Her orange eyes glint as mine open, and her smile grows wider as I manage to lock eyes with her.

“You’re a tough one!” She comments, brushing her long black hair back over her head with her hand. Her pale skin is quite the contrast with her dark hair. She’s… actually really beautiful. “Usually, it’s a few days before a new cellmate wakes up! These Nala Fey aren’t exactly gentle when they capture new prisoners.”

“W-who are you?” I ask, forcing the words out through the pain.

“Oh, right, sorry!” She exclaims, extending a hand out to me. “I’m Juvia. Juvia Aiko. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Thalia.”

“P-pleasure to meet you too, I g-guess,” I choke out, unable to bring myself to try and take her hand. She lets out a nervous laugh as I finish speaking, retracting her hand and rubbing the back of her head with it.

“Sorry about that,” she says, before looking me in the eyes again. “It’s bound to be hard to extend your hand like that while in so much pain.”

“It’s o-okay,” I say, trying to force myself up from my spot.

“Woah!” She protests, catching me by the shoulders as I slip my grip on the ground and nearly land head-first back where I was lying. “Don’t try and move with a concussion that serious. It’s better if you at least wait till the medicine I gave you kicks in.”

“Why does it feel like my arm wasn’t listening to me?” I ask, as I try to look at my hand.

“One of the many symptoms of a concussion is a loss of coordination,” she explains.

“What?”

“Hum… It’s like your brain sent out the order, but your arm didn’t get the right location to place itself, so you were off-balance.”

“Oh…”

“The medicine should kick in any second. It won’t fix the concussion, but it’ll make the pain tolerable. Then all you need to do is rest.”

“Okay…”

“And interestingly,” she adds, her voice suddenly increasing in excitement. “You’re unique, Thalia. I can see it in every inch of your form. You may not need as much rest as a normal Dryad, or even a Fey! I’m so looking forward at seeing how long it persists!” She pauses a second and laughs nervously again. “Of course, I’ll help manage any pain during that time as best as I can. I promise.”

“Alright,” I say, pausing when I realize something odd. “Wait… how do you know my name? Are you the one who…?”

Suddenly, all the excitement leaves her face. She blinks at me a second before looking away from me and covering her mouth with her hand, her face scrunching in thought. After a short thinking session, she starts speaking again.

“I,” she begins. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, trying to force myself up again. This time she helps me up to a sitting position and moves me so that I’m next to her, keeping her hand on my shoulder to help me balance.

“I’m not the one who knocked you out, if that’s what you’re wondering, but… I honestly don’t know how I know your name… I just… I looked at you and something in my brain said ‘that’s Thalia,’” she explains with a shrug.

“That doesn’t make sense…”

“I know… it’s confusing to me too, now that I’m thinking about it. Sorry.”

“Where are we anyway?” I ask, trying to focus my vision on my surroundings so I can look around.

“We’re in one of the many dungeons controlled by the Nala Fey,” she explains. “It’s where they hold people who trespass in their territory.”

“Trespass?”

My vision continues to wobble a bit as I try to focus on my surroundings. As they come in to focus, my heart nearly stops. I’m not sure why, nor do any of my memories give me any hints, but, as soon as those come into focus, the pain becomes entirely secondary.

Big metal bars. A cage. That word repeats in my head over and over as I stare at the cold metal entrapping us. My heart feels cold at first, but gradually, it starts to feel like it might leap out of my chest. Each breath I take feels heavier than the last, causing me to grasp at my chest.

“Thalia?”

Juvia’s voice sounds distant, almost like she’s trying to speak to me from the other side of a long hallway. Her hands grasp at my face, forcing my attention from the bars to her, but even then I can’t focus on her face.

Then I feel it. Something cold and metal touching my shoulders. No, not just my shoulders, my wrists too. I don’t want to look down, but my vision is drawn downward anyway, as if attracted by a magnet. Wrapped around Juvia’s wrists, and mine, are two sets of cold metal shackles, attached to something by a long chain.

Everything blurs after this. I scream, but I don’t know why. I recoil away from Juvia and the chains, but I don’t know why. I rush to escape away from the chains, but I don’t know why. I scream and I scream and I scream as I struggle against the cold metal.

None of it makes any sense. Why am I feeling like this? Why does the cold metal make my skin crawl, and my heart feel like it’s gonna explode? Why do I feel like screaming until my throat bleeds, and pulling against the shackles until my arms break? What is going on?!

“Thalia!” Juvia’s distant voice cries out for me again, almost deafened by my screams. “It’s okay! You’re okay!”

Another sensation, barely noticeable under the pain now erupting in my arms as I pull against my chains, grasps at my body. Is she holding me? It almost feels like it, but I can’t focus enough to tell. All I can think about is the metal, and getting away from it.

“Silence!” Her voice this time is almost deafening. It causes the new screams I had yet to let out to fall silent in my throat. “Paralyze!”

The ground falls out from under me as she speaks that word. I fall backward, toward the direction I was pulling against, and fall onto something soft, gasping for breath as I lie here unable to get my body to move.

The sensation is more clear as I lie here, though still only barely noticeable. I’m on top of her, her arms around my torso. At least that’s what I think this feeling is. It’s so hard to focus.

“Lion’s Heart!” She says, her voice softer than it was before. As she speaks those words, my heart starts to feel… better. Like it’s not about to explode anymore. Breathing doesn’t feel as heavy, and the blurriness in my vision starts to fade. “It’s okay! Thalia, it’s okay!”

I want to say something. To apologize or ask what just happened, something, but I still can’t get any sound to come out of my mouth. My face feels wet. Was I crying? What even was this?

“I’m not sure what caused it, but you seem to have been having a panic attack. A pretty severe one at that,” Juvia explains, as if reading my mind. “I’m going to keep you under the effects of my paralyze spell until I can find a way to remove what’s making you panic. I hope that’s okay. I’m sorry if it’s not, but, it’s better than you ripping your own arms off.” She chuckles. “Don’t worry. It may be obvious already, but I know a bit about the healing arts, including a bit about the mind. You’re going to be okay.”

I try again to ask her a question, but again no sound escapes my throat. I give up as the feeling of her fingers stroking my hair breaks through the pain throbbing in my arms. I think she says something again, but all I can bring myself to do is focus on that feeling.

Focus, and try not to think about the metal still wrapped around my wrists…

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sopherfly · 7 years

Text

Superbly Stupid (winteriron short)

Tony and Bucky get stuck in an elevator, and Bucky starts to freak out. Tony finds a way to distract him.

((Didn’t get a chance to post anything yesterday - let me make up for it with some silly fluffy goodness. Thanks to @the-modern-typewriter for another great prompt!))

Tony ran into Bucky on his way to the elevator.

Well. Almost ran into Bucky. He managed to dodge just in time. He’d been staring out the window, not looking where he was going, and Bucky must’ve been doing the same thing.

It was early enough that Tony was surprised to see him. He couldn’t have been awake for more than an hour; he looked rumpled, like he’d stayed in bed a little too long before getting up. It was a good look on him. But then, any look was a good look on Bucky.

“Morning, Buckaroo,” Tony said brightly.

“Your nicknames are annoying.”

Tony grinned. He loved annoying Bucky. It was one of his top five favorite things to do. Annoy Bucky Barnes until he does or says something totally unpredictable. Tony wasn’t going to push his luck this morning, though. Just looking at Bucky would be plenty of stimulation to last him until his next cup of coffee.

It took the elevator no time to get to them. They were both headed to the same floor, the one with the big communal kitchen and the comfy sofas. Bucky punched the button as Tony followed him in, and then the doors slid soundlessly shut. The ride up the first ten floors passed without incident.

It wasn’t until just after floor twenty that the elevator ground to a halt and the lights flickered out.

Son of a bitch.

The test of the compound’s emergency systems. That was this morning. That was happening right now.

It had been on Tony’s calendar. FRIDAY had even reminded him the night before. Tony had just forgotten, because he had too much on his plate, and how was he supposed to remember trivial things like emergency tests and fire drills?

Oh well. Too late now. He and Bucky would just have to wait it out.

“Stark. Can you get us movin’ again?”

Bucky sounded more than a little stressed. Tony shook his head helplessly.

“It’s all locked up. Security measure. I can’t override it.”

“Great.”

Bucky squinted like he was in pain. Tony saw his throat move as he swallowed, and then blue eyes were wide and almost frantic, glancing around looking for an exit.

“Are you… panicking?”

“No.”

The word was forceful and painfully untrue. Tony could see the rapid rise and fall of Bucky’s chest, the way his hand was braced too tightly on the elevator’s metal bar.

“You’re claustrophobic.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Okay. Sure.”

Bucky glared at him, but it had none of its usual bite.

“It ain’t a phobia. I just don’t like it.”

“I really don’t believe you.”

Tony had no earthly idea how to deal with this. He could barely deal with his own panic attacks. He wasn’t equipped to handle Bucky losing his cool.

“You’re not gonna go all Winter Soldier on me, are you?”

“No.”

Bucky had taken offense to that. There was something hurt in his expression, however fleeting, and Tony kicked himself inwardly for asking in the first place. He didn't need to worry. He was safe with Bucky, he knew that.

“It ain’t the size of the space,” Bucky said. “It’s bein’ trapped.”

“So cleithrophobia, then.”

Bucky’s scornful look spoke volumes. ‘Yes, please,’ it said, ‘now is the perfect time argue over the technical name for my fear of locked rooms. We absolutely don’t have more important things to deal with. I’m not panicking or anything.’ Maybe Tony was reading too much into it - maybe all it said was, ‘don’t be such a show-off.’

“Sorry. Sometimes I just can’t help myself.”

“If you’re so damn smart, figure out a way to help me, would you?”

Tony wanted to feign indignation, but that was sort of a fair point. He was, by all accounts, a genius. He should be able to figure this out. He blew out a breath, trying to think of the things that helped him when he had anxiety attacks.

Getting out of the situation was first on the list, but that obviously wouldn’t work. What else was there? Breathing exercises - but most of the time if you didn’t practice those, they didn’t do anything for a phobia. (Not that anything would ever cure him of his fear of falling; when he fell, not only was he terrified, but he was also falling. Usually from something very high.)

The only other thing that came to Tony’s mind was distraction. He wasn’t sure that would work either. That was more for little kids at the doctor or adults at the dentist. But maybe he could take Bucky’s mind off of it enough to make it bearable, at least until the elevator started moving again.

“Okay. Okay. How about I distract you?”

It was telling, the fact that Bucky didn’t argue with him. He just nodded, his jaw tight, his hand still braced on that useless railing. He was working hard to keep everything on lockdown. This man’s self-control was staggering.

“Okay. Great. Um.”

“Doin’ a great job so far,” Bucky said, letting just a little more of that panic slip. He didn’t let go of the bar, but he did sink down to the floor, crouching uncomfortably and leaning his head back against the wall.

“Right. Clearly not working.”

It was too bad Bucky didn’t need sarcasm or quick wit. Those, Tony had in abundance. He liked banter, thinking up snappy retorts just to piss people off. Tony really didn’t like talking. He wouldn’t know the first thing about distracting a person with a conversation.

But what other kind of distraction was there?

And then - then - Tony was struck by an idea. A stupid, inspired, incredible idea.

No. That’s ridiculous. It couldn’t possibly work.

Except that maybe it could.

“I’ve got it,” Tony said, all bravado and confidence. “I know something that will absolutely, one-hundred-percent help. You just have to trust me.”

Bucky looked up at him skeptically. Tony put on his best encouraging face.

“Seriously. I promise. It’s definitely going to work. Just stand up.”

Bucky did as he was told, hands still trembling, brows drawn down in confusion. For the briefest moment, Tony hesitated. Should he-

Nope. Gonna do it. It’s a really good thing I have no shame.

Tony braced himself, resting his hands on Bucky’s shoulders. He winked - because if you were going to do something so superbly stupid, you might as well do it with a flourish - and leaned in, capturing Bucky’s lips in a kiss.

In hindsight, it could’ve been a really bad idea. Kissing a person who was already so on edge could’ve ended very poorly.

It could’ve. But it didn’t.

Bucky was surprised at first, Tony knew because the taller man practically fell into him. He would’ve if Tony hadn’t had steady hands on his shoulders, bracing his weight so they just swayed slightly.

After surprise came something that felt like realization - like all at once, Bucky understood what was happening and was ready to get on board.

And after realization came Bucky kissing him back.

Oh man. It was so much better than Tony could've imagined. It was soft and hot, sending little sparks through him every time Bucky's lips moved. Bucky’s mouth was definitely bigger than Tony's, and Bucky used it to his advantage, coaxing Tony's lips apart with that wide tongue, making every small swipe and slide feel somehow dirty.

Bucky was a better kisser. Tony would freely admit it. Tony had undoubtedly had more practice, but Bucky - Bucky was wild. He was unbridled, raw, not inhibited by any kind of need to please. He was all in, and Tony got lost in it, so much so he didn't even feel it when the elevator started to move.

Bucky's hands were suddenly gripping Tony's hips, ghosting underneath his shirt, dancing over his skin. That was going to kill him. It felt good, the cool metal and warm flesh in such wonderful opposition. Bucky drove his tongue deeper, fought harder, and Tony started letting him win, letting him take, because damn, Tony would give Bucky anything he wanted. And based on this response, Bucky would probably enjoy it. He'd take pleasure in bending Tony over, opening him wide and-

Ding!

Tony jumped, pulling back. Bucky didn't let him get far, those big hands not releasing their hold, not even when he heard Sam’s voice behind him.

“Oh shit.”

Tony reddened, meeting Bucky's eyes.

“What is it?”

Oh god. That was Steve, coming to investigate. Damn it. Even one person was too much of an audience.

“Something good, I hope.”

Great. Natasha, too. It was a whole damn party. Tony didn't have to turn around to know that Clint had probably followed her.

“What’s going on here?” Steve asked, and Tony was thankful not to hear any kind of judgment in his voice.

“Looks like we’re interrupting something,” Sam replied.

Tony held Bucky's gaze, and Bucky shrugged, as if to say, ‘I don't care how we play it. Up to you.’ Tony nodded, taking hold of Bucky's hand and turning around.

“Yes. You are interrupting. Extremely rude, really, somebody needs to teach you guys some manners.” Tony started toward the door, Bucky in tow. “Now. Bucky-bear and I have a lot to, ahem… Talk about. So if you don't hear from us for a couple hours, don't worry.”

“Wasn't planning on it.” Natasha quirked an eyebrow in amusement.

“Great. Good.” Tony glanced at Steve, who looked dumbstruck, and wasn't that a fun change? “Okay then. See you later.”

As soon as they were out of earshot, Tony let out an enormous sigh of relief.

“You were absolutely no help at all, you know that?”

“Sorry.” Bucky squeezed his hand. “Thank you. Don’t know if this helps, but you can distract me any time.”

The way Bucky was smiling at him, Tony could've melted.

“So. Do you want to go do more of… that? Maybe in one of my really expensive cars?”

Bucky’s eyes darkened, and he looked so seductive, it was just plain unfair.

“Yes. On one condition.” Tony looked at him expectantly, realizing too late exactly what Bucky planned to say. “We’re takin’ the stairs.”

Tony rolled his eyes, tugging on Bucky's hand and leading them - begrudgingly - toward the stairwell.

For anyone who is interested, here is the full prompt!

((“Are you…panicking?” “No!” But the signs were all there - the quick breaths, limbs taut and yet unable to contain the shivers of fear. “You’re going to get us caught!” The closet was only small and they were trapped or caught and dead and…and the closet was only small. “You’re claustrophobic.” “It’s not claustrophobia I just hate being near you.” The shaking didn’t stop. They thought fast and drew their enemy closer. “Okay,” they kept their voice low. “Just focus on my breathing.”))

#winteriron #bucky barnes #tony stark #tony x bucky #mostly just fluff #sopherfly prompt week

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soimadeafireemblemblog · 7 years

Text

Tears

Read chapter 2 on ao3 here Read from the beginning here

The first time Inigo really let himself cry after he left Ylisse was only after the war was over. By that point he had stopped trying to guess how old he was anymore. Inigo had helped Nohr win their war, using the false name Laslow, which had ended about 3 months ago, and decided he would stay until Nohr and Hoshido were really at peace again. There was still a ways to go, seeing as most of the Hoshidans understandably didn’t trust most Nohrians. Inigo couldn’t blame them. After all, the former King was the cause of both the war and the deaths of the former Hoshidan King and Queen. Not to mention neither of the princes survived the war. Inigo had been there for both of their deaths, and though neither of them were pleasant in the least, he was more unsettled by Prince Takumi’s death because of the resemblance he bore to the risen Inigo used to fight so often.

Inigo did what he could to get a smile on people’s faces, more so than usual after the war. Usually that included sneaking out of the castle and into town to find mostly out of the way places to dance where there was a small audience so he could gradually get used to dancing in front of strangers. Occasionally, on rare days like today, he would get caught by Xander on his way back in and would have to spend the day in Xander’s room. It wasn’t that he minded being in Xander’s room all day, it was just that he didn’t really like being stuck in one place. It reminded him too much of his Ylisse right before they all left to go back to the past. It made him feel a bit cleithrophobic. He usually got really fidgety after a while of being closed in a room without a way to get out. Odin and Selena were the same way. Selena had taken up pegasus riding, finally feeling like she was out of her mother’s shadow, in order to combat the feeling. Odin felt better because he could use magic. The only thing that made the cleithrophobia go away for Inigo was dancing, but he couldn’t really always sneak away to dance.

“Laslow, I think this is the third time this month that I’ve caught you sneaking back into the castle from the town,” Xander sighed. “I’m honestly surprised I haven’t gotten any more reports of your shameless flirting with how often you’re gone.”

It was a fair thought, Inigo supposed, seeing as how when he first arrived in Nohr he would sneak out multiple times a week to go to local bars and taverns to flirt with the girls there. He mostly did it to combat the homesickness, to have a small constant in his life. It was mostly the work of Selena and Xander that got him to tone his charm down and break the habit. Selena because she made him uncomfortable with a slightly exaggerated version of his flirting and Xander because he kept Inigo in his room all day.

Inigo wasn’t sure what to say to Xander. He could apologize, but it wasn’t like he could offer much of an explanation. Was he just supposed to say that he went dancing because he felt trapped in the castle? But he didn’t want Xander to laugh at him like so many others had. He was just starting to build up confidence about his dancing.

“Just tell me where you were. We’re both lucky that no one else has found you yet.”

Inigo grimaced. He could imagine the scandal that would be made of one of Xander’s retainers sneaking in and out of the castle, especially after such a war. “I’ve just been... around town.”

“Laslow,” Xander sighed again.

“Yes milord?” he asked after a few beats of tense silence. Nothing good could come from the tone of voice Xander had used. Instantly, Inigo went over every single bad outcome from this. He could possibly be fired, which would mean that he’d be separated from Odin and Selena, which would also mean he’d have to go back to being a mercenary, and who would hire an ex-royal retainer that had been kicked out. Or he’d be demoted and everyone would look down on him, despite how hard he had worked to remain Xander’s retainer, and maybe then Odin and Selena wouldn’t want to even be seen with him and he wouldn’t talk to his friends ever again. Or he could be locked in the castle and not be able to get away and dance ever again and it would slowly drive him crazy.

“First, you don’t need to continue freaking out. You look like I’ve already given you a death sentence,” Xander started. And oh no that wasn’t even something he’d accounted for. He’d never be able to get back to Ylisse if he were dead. Xander’s voice cut through his thoughts, “Which I haven’t, and never will. And second, I’ll let you off the hook this time on one condition.”

“Which is?” Inigo asked nervously.

“Tell me about your homeland.” Inigo’s eyes widened in surprise. Out of all the theoretical conditions he came up with in his head, this was definitely not one of them. “Unless you’d like to stay in my room for the next week,” Xander suggested after Inigo didn’t respond.

“No, no, I just don’t really know what to tell you,” Inigo finally replied. “There’s a lot of stuff that wouldn’t really make sense, and a lot of stuff that would take a while to explain.” He knew that, even though Xander had seen a lot of strange things during the war between Nohr and Hoshido, things like time travel, Grima, Naga, and the Risen would sound like made up stories.

“Why don’t you start with your family?”

“Well, my mom’s name is Olivia. She’s from a country called Regna Ferox. She was a dancer for the troops there before a war between Ylisse and Plegia, where she joined my father’s army to boost the troops’ morale.”

“So your father was a general?”

Inigo nodded. “Something like that. He called his army the Shepherds and it was really just a ragtag group of soldiers that decided to join him for different reasons. His name is Chrom. He’s really easy to spot in a crowd because he has blue hair and for some reason none of his shirts have a right sleeve. He’s a really great leader, though. The Shepherds started out with I think nine soldiers, and one of them was still in training. When I left, there were almost 50. All of them very skilled and able to win a battle even if the odds weren’t even close to being in their favor.”

“That’s actually very impressive,” Xander commented.

“My sister, Lucina, definitely took after him more than I did. She’s a born leader and really outgoing and confident. She’s also a lot stronger than me.”

Xander smiled. “Well then I guess I’m lucky that I fought you instead of her.”

Inigo laughed, “I suppose so. She dueled with our father once and almost won, even while holding back.”

“As you were when we dueled when you first became my retainer?”

“I wasn’t holding back that much! At least, not near the end. Anyway, then there’s my aunt, Lissa. She’s pretty similar to Elise, actually. And there’s my cousin-” Inigo was interrupted by frantic knocking on Xander’s door.

“Enter,” he commanded.

The door flew open and Selena nearly fell to the floor. She looked as if she had just sprinted from one end of the castle to the other. After taking a moment to catch her breath, she looked at Inigo. “Nah,” she gasped. Inigo’s eyes widened. It couldn’t be. “And... Minerva.”

In a flash, Inigo was on his feet. “You’re sure?” She nodded and grabbed his arm and dragged him behind her. “Gerome?”

“Too far away to tell,” she gasped.

“Laslow! What are you doing?” Xander called after them, but they were at the end of the hall by the time he got to his door. He barely had time to look back, much less answer as he was pulled behind Selena. He couldn’t find it in him to care, however, that he would most definitely get in trouble.

While running, he realized that Selena probably had run all the way across the castle. If it really was Nah and Minerva, then Gerome would almost certainly be there. Unless... He shook his head. Gerome had to be here.

“Have you told Odin?” he gasped as they whipped around another corner, almost running into someone.

“Of course I did, do you think I’m stupid?” she snapped back.

“You might have come to me first.”

They ran in relative silence after that. Inigo was almost certain he had never run so fast in his life. The thought that Gerome had finally found his way here after two years kept him going faster and faster. (Well, two years, three months, and eighteen days, not that Inigo was counting.) His footsteps only faltered once, when he realized that Gerome might not recognize him with his new appearance. The only thought that kept him going was that he probably didn’t look too different and he hadn’t changed much in two years, he thought.

Finally, they reached the outer castle wall where Odin was already waiting. He was being uncharacteristically silent watching the two figures in the distance. The one on the left had a distinctive shimmer that could only belong to Nah and Inigo would recognize Minerva anywhere. The question was would Minerva recognize him.

“It’s really them,” he breathed out. “They found us.”

Xander finally caught up with them. “Who are they? What’s going on?”

Selena and Odin both turned and knelt before Xander told them to stand. Inigo didn’t take his eyes off the sky, almost worried if he turned away the rapidly growing figures would disappear. They were close enough that he could make out a person on each dragon. He tried to lean over the edge of the wall to try and see who it was, but he was stopped by someone grabbing his collar and pulling him back.

“Be careful,” Xander chastised. He didn’t let go of Inigo’s collar. “Who are they?”

“They’re old friends, from our homeland,” Inigo said.

“You trust them?”

He nodded. “With my life.”

Xander nodded and let go of his collar. “Then they are welcome here.”

Inigo returned to watching for his friends, wishing they would hurry so he could see who it really was. “One more thing, milord,” he started. He took Xander’s silence as an invitation to continue. “Remember that bit a while ago where I said I had a fake name and appearance and then said I was joking? Well, these friends will know me as Inigo, not Laslow.”

“Inigo, huh?” He nodded. “Well it’s nice to finally know your real name.”

“AlsoI’maprince,” he rushed out. Selena and Odin both looked at him like he was crazy. He knew he wasn’t technically supposed to reveal his identity ever, but the war was over, so he figured he was safe.

“Could you repeat that?” Xander asked. “Slower this time.”

He took a deep breath. “I’m a prince.”

“You’re... a prince?” Inigo nodded, biting his lip. “Then why are you here?”

“We were visited by a god saying that our help was needed elsewhere. You don’t argue with a god. And our homeland was finally at peace, for the first time since I could remember.” He leaned over the wall again, hoping that the small distance would let them come faster.

“Then wouldn’t you want to stay in that peaceful land?”

“I’d rather bring the peace to other places. Make sure everyone can smile.”

“That’s an honorable wish,” Xander commented, but Inigo was too distracted trying to see who was on the dragons to really pay attention.

Inigo reasoned that Lucina must be riding Nah because he could see her blue hair. He subconsciously brought a hand up to tug at his now gray hair, wishing he could change it back. It had to be Gerome riding Minerva, Naga knows he’d never let anyone else take her reigns. Well, he’d let Inigo once, but that was under very close supervision.

It wouldn’t be long before they arrived and Inigo couldn’t tear his eyes away from them. Odin and Selena were just as anxious as him, fidgeting and pacing around waiting. Inigo brought two fingers to his mouth and let out a loud, shrill whistle. The change in pace was obvious, two sets of wings flapping faster and faster. Inigo could feel his heart beating faster and faster as they got closer and closer. It was glaringly obvious now that it was indeed Gerome and Lucina riding Minerva and Nah. He leaned out over the edge of the wall again, likely too far to necessarily be safe, but he knew Xander would catch him if he started to fall.

“They’re here,” he breathed out. “They’re really here.”

He finally took a step back from the wall once they were almost on top of the castle, ready to land on the wall. He shielded his eyes from the glow as Nah turned back. For a few seconds, they all looked at each other in silence, not entirely trusting that the view in front of them was real.

Lucina was the first to move, rushing forward to throw her arms around Inigo. Her grip was almost crushing, but Inigo was in no place to complain as he knew he was holding on as tight as he could.

“Never pull a stunt like that ever again,” Lucina chided once they finally separated. She ruffled Inigo’s hair. “Don’t tell me you’re getting so old your hair turned gray?”

Inigo chuckled. “It’s a long story, best told elsewhere. It’s good to see you too, Luci. How are mother and father?”

“Worried near to death about their missing son. Honestly, who disappears off the face of the earth a week before their sister’s birthday?”

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Sorry about that. It was a sort of... time sensitive mission. You got the present I left for you though, right?”

“The pressed flower?” Inigo nodded. Lucina smiled and looked at the ground, shaking her head. “You always were a man for flowers.”

Lucina turned to Odin and Inigo turned to Nah.

“How’s the pursuit of females been?” Nah asked with a straight face. Inigo smiled and leaned down to hug her.

“I’ve-” he glanced over to Gerome, standing awkwardly on his own a few feet away “-mostly given that up. It always was a way to combat my shyness, but I found a better alternative.”

“I guess I won’t be able to eat you then,” she said, not quite able to keep her straight face.

He laughed, “I should hope not. I see you haven’t grown much.”

She smiled. “I could always grow right here and now.”

“Probably best that you don’t,” Inigo replied, still smiling. “It wouldn’t do for you to crush a royal retainer.”

“You’ll have to tell me all about your new job,” Nah said and turned to Odin and Selena. Before his attention was completely off her, she added, “Later. Now, I believe you owe someone an explanation in person.”

He turned to Gerome, still wearing that ridiculous mask after all those years. He knew he wasn’t paying attention because he was focused on Minerva, petting her head and murmuring to her. Inigo took a deep breath and walked up to him. He was close enough that he would be able to reach out and tap his shoulder, let him know he was there, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Inigo merely stared at him, taking in the new patches sewn into his clothing and the way his hair was even more windblown than he had remembered it and how the strap on his mask was new and how it was tied somewhat sloppily and how his boots were worn and different from the ones he had worn in Ylisse, these ones less for protection in battle and more for simple travel.

“I know you’re there,” Gerome muttered without turning around, startling Inigo out of his thoughts.

“I-” Inigo started.

“How’ve you been?”

“It’s different here than in Ylisse,” Inigo replied, looking out past the wall. Gerome made a quiet noise of acknowledgement. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

Gerome finally turned around. “Then why did you leave?”

Inigo looked down. “You got my letter, right?”

“You cried when you wrote it.”

His eyes widened. He remembered that, but he hadn’t thought Gerome would notice or, if he did, remember. “The man, Anankos, turned out to be a god. He asked us directly to help this kingdom.”

“You left, though, before you knew he was a god. Why?” Gerome’s tone wasn’t accusatory, though Inigo knew he had every right to be. Rather it was simply curious and something else Inigo couldn’t place.

“We couldn’t just turn away a man in need. I would have tried writing, so I didn’t just disappear completely, but I didn’t know it would be a whole other world. I’m sorry.”

Gerome sighed. “Promise me one thing?”

“Anything,” Inigo replied immediately.

“If you ever get an idea like this again, bring me with you.”

“Of course. I promise.” With that, Inigo finally stepped forward and hugged Gerome tightly. “I missed you,” he repeated in a whisper. They were both content to stay there, but Minerva nudging them made them finally separate. She huffed at Inigo and he ran his hand along her snout. “How could I forget my number one fan?” She growled at him and pressed her head into his hand. “Of course I’ll dance for you, but not right now.” She growled again and he laughed. “I know it’s been a while, but I promise later.”

“Laslow, would you mind introducing me to your friends?” Xander interrupted.

“Of course, milord. This is my sister Lucina, this is Nah, this is Gerome, and this is Minerva,” he said, gesturing to each of them in turn. “And this,” he said to the rest of them, “is King Xander. I’m his retainer.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you all. You are all welcome here in Nohr. I’m afraid we don’t really have any guest rooms ready, so you’ll all have to stay with Laslow, Odin, and Selena for the time being.”

“That sounds wonderful, thank you. And it is a far step up from our sleeping arrangements on the way here,” Lucina said with a smile on her face.

“I trust you can decide the sleeping arrangements yourselves. Laslow, meet me in my room once everyone is settled.”

“Of course, milord,” Laslow responded and Xander walked back to his room. “Ok, Gerome can come with me and the rest of you can sort everything out, right?”

“Just go, we’ll find you once we’re done,” Selena said. “And I’ll take care of Minerva.”

“Right, thank you.”

The walk back to Inigo’s room was quiet, though Inigo expected as much. Gerome never was much of a talkative person. Just because he expected it, though, didn’t mean it wasn’t making him more nervous.

“This is my room,” he said quietly. He hadn’t felt this nervous about talking to anyone in a long time. Gerome didn’t say anything as he walked in and set down his bag.

“It’s bare,” Gerome finally said, looking around the walls.

“I haven’t been in the castle much since I got here. And most of my things can fit in a bag like yours.”

“I see. Do you still go out every night?”

“Not to flirt. I’ve been going to small taverns and the like to dance and get used to dancing in front of people,” Inigo answered. “I see you haven’t given up that mask.”

“It’s much easier to keep my emotions in check like this,” Gerome responded honestly.

Inigo made a face at that and reached up. “Turn around.” He untied the strap and set the mask gently on the desk next to them. When Gerome turned back around to face him, Inigo wrapped him in a hug.

“What-?” Gerome asked when he felt tears drip down onto his shoulder. Without waiting for an answer to his unasked question, he hugged Inigo back. He started running his fingers through Inigo’s hair, surprised at how soft it was and how long it had gotten.

“Sorry, I just... I missed you so much,” Inigo managed between sobs. “I hate wars.”

“I missed you, too,” Gerome admitted quietly. Inigo pulled away and wiped at his tears with the heels of his hands. “I should have told you this a while ago, but I... I love you Inigo.”

Inigo stared at him in silence for a few seconds, frozen in shock. Once his brain caught up, he hugged Gerome once more. “I love you too.”

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