Mihari Onimai from Onimai casually reads apocalyptic speculation in pop science periodical

Short Reflection: Onimai (I Am Now Your Sister!)

I’ve been trying to put into words why Mushoku Tensei is so infuriating to me for a while. You think it’d be easy, right? All I have to say (and indeed, what I have said in the past) is “this show wastes so much gorgeous animation and obvious talent on a pedophile protagonist who’s never punished for his actions” and everyone with a functioning brain would understand why they need to avoid this show like it’s the scarlet rot in Elden Ring. And yet that doesn’t quite capture the whole of it. That simple explanation doesn’t offer an explanation for just how deep and personal my fixation with Mushoku Tensei has been since its airing. I’ve watched plenty of bad anime and tossed them into the memory hole, but something about this one refuses to stop pestering me. It demands my attention even when I wish I could just forget it ever existed, like a splinter constantly pricking the back of my mind. And despite my best efforts, I’ve been unable to understand or explain what about this particular bad show makes it impossible for me to stop thinking about it.

So if there’s one thing I can thank Onimai for, it’s that it finally helped me realize why.

Sure, on the surface, these two shows don’t have that much in common. They’re both produced by studio Bind, both lavishly animated to a frankly absurd degree, both about adult men being zapped into a new child body for a second chance at life, and both clearly aiming to conquer the lolicon share of the market. But one’s an ostensibly epic fantasy while the other is a pastel-vomit cute girls gender-bender extravaganza. You wouldn’t think there’d be many comparison points to be made here. And yet, these two shows are similar. In fact, I’d argue that at heart, Mushoku Tensei and Onimai are essentially the same story, just filtered through different prisms of genre. And it’s in recognizing those similarities that I was finally able to unlock the reason behind my visceral fascination with Mushoku Tensei, and why this studio’s brand of storytelling leaves me so, so angry.

See, both Rudeus and Mahiro, in their past lives, were losers. And not just any losers, no; they were full on hikkikomori shut-in failures who retreated into extreme otakudom and porn addiction to cope with not being able to understand the world. They’re the embodiment of the saddest, most pathetic depths a person can sink to, the worst case scenario for so many socially-deficient anime fans who come to this medium to escape reality. But in their respective rebirths, Rudeus and Mahiro are suddenly given a chance to live their lives over- and this time, to do it right. Unbound from the failures of their past lives, either by leaving their gender behind or leaving the familiar world entirely, they’re given a clean slate to try, stumble, try again, and struggle their way to achieve the fulfillment and self-actualization they were unable to accomplish before. At heart, Mushoku Tensei and Onimai are both stories about taking the lowest form of human scum, offering them a do-over button, and watching them work through their issues until they’re able to embrace their new life and be a functional human being at last.

It’s not hard to see the appeal of that story. The idea that even the worst, most hopeless person imaginable can turn things around and become a well-rounded person is one of the most inspiring philosophies to live your life by. And I fully understand why those messages resonated so much with people. Hell, I’ll even admit that some moments in MT- Rudeus’ reconciliation with Paul, his hopelessness spiral in the final episode- were so moving that I genuinely felt something for the guy in spite of myself. Bind’s animators aren’t just exceptionally talented at making things move on screen, they make full use of the medium of animation to convey their stories with some of the strongest, most emotionally potent cinematic storytelling in this entire damn medium. They take these stories of broken people trying to be better and imbue them with the kind of artistry that makes them sink into your very soul. You feel the weight of Rudeus stepping over the threshold. You feel the importance of Mahiru coming to terms with her new identity. At their best, these shows will make you believe in humanity’s capacity for change like nothing else can.

At least until the moment passes and it gets back to being horny for twelve-year-olds.

And that’s the smoking gun. That’s the reason Mushoku Tensei and Onimai are both such agonizing experiences. Because in these incredibly affecting stories of personal betterment, these expertly told stories of people overcoming their worst selves and becoming fully realized people, they’re never forced to outgrow their pedophilia. Or rather, the audience of otaku who see themselves in these shows and use them as inspiration to improve their lives are never forced to. Because no matter how much these characters grow or change, the shows they’re attached to still find time to put pre-teen girls in various states of eroticization for the audience to enjoy. No matter how these shows challenges their audiences to see the worst parts of themselves and work on being better, they never portray being sexually attracted to children as something you need to leave behind. Studio Bind sells a fantasy where you can turn your poor situation around and live a worthwhile life without sacrificing your desire to beat off to twelve-year-olds. Don’t worry, it seems to say. We won’t really force you to confront the reasons why society shut you out.

In other words, both Mushoku Tensei and Onimai send a message that says: “You can become a better person without actually fixing the worst parts of yourself.” And because of how fucking good Bind is at preaching that message, the anime community bought it hook, line and sinker. It’s almost impressive; finally, we have an omega universe KyoAni to balance out the cosmic scales. Never before have I seen such incredible talent and artistry so consistently put to such evil use. But allow me to burst the bubble for everyone taken in; this studio is lying to you. These shows are lying to you. If you want to become a better person, you cannot hold onto your worst impulses like this. You cannot treat the darkest parts of yourself as an acceptable hanger-on. You need to be better than these shows believe you can be. Because the second you accept the half-measures they’re offering as a win state, you’ve already lost the battle.

Also, don’t beat off to twelve-year olds.

Can’t believe I even need to spell that out.

Look, just like Mushoku Tensei, there are moments in Onimai that really soar. The comedy is fun when it works, the animation is infectiously lively, and whenever it decides to take Mahiro’s journey seriously, it’s unironically powerful stuff. But also just like Mushoku Tensei, there’s no way to buy into the strengths of Onimai without accepting a constant stream of sexed-up prebubescent fetish shots (greatly ramped up from the manga, I’ve been told). And there’s just too much good anime these days for this to be forgivable. Countless shows big and small have proved you don’t need to cater to the worst of humanity to craft something truly special. There’s no need to suffer through this slop when countless shows are doing way more without subjecting you to this agony at the same time. So until Bind learns how to weave its magic without dunking it in dogshit along the way, they will only ever be a stain on an industry with far too many stains already. For now, though, I can only give Onimai a score of:

3/10

Welcome to the end of Winter 2023. Expect my seasonal reflection in a week or two!

おにまい! by 之樂@chilakkk

近くで見せてくれるかえでちゃん by 葛西心 [Twitter/X] ※Illustration shared with permission from the artist. If you like this artwork please support the artist by visiting the source.

Extremely important that I tell you that the protagonist of gender bender anime OniMai was playing actual real footage of Guilty Gear: Strive and River City Girls on today’s episode

Notably she’s specifically fighting against Bridget which is amusingly appropriate giving the even-higher than usual slew of trans coding going on in this story

Do You Know This Anime?