ALEX FITZALAN as Tom in SLENDER MAN (2018)

can i have just hcs or a scenario or whatever and it’s just. hanging out with juza. chilling, hanging out, alone and just being together. sorry it’s not specific

Boy do I love some good slice-of-life writing, especially if it's with our favorite stiff and sweet-lover actor!. Do not worry because this was so much fun to write! 💕

This can absolutely be taken as platonic or romantic. Please enjoy! 💕

Reader hanging out with Juza

“Oh, come on! That’s going to get so soggy by the time she builds the structure!” you groan in frustration at the computer, not believing what you were seeing.

Juza frowns next to you, eyes fixed on what is happening. He hasn’t said anything, but you want to believe he agrees with you. Well, as much as a non-professional baker could agree with another non-professional baker on a baking show.

“Yikes- what did you expect Julia? For real, too much licour.” You can’t help but comment out loud again as you watch the contestant try to explain to the camera their confusion after they tasted the cake base.

“…Looks yummy to me.”

Your focus on the show slips when you hear him murmur with confusion, laughing at the sincere tone of his voice. “And that’s how we know you could never be a jury. How do you see that and think- Oh no!” you two watch in horror as another contestant takes out burnt decorations from the oven. “Oooh that is so gonna cost Alex his place.”

“He was ‘kay in the signature bake tho.”

You roll your eyes at Juza's comment while adjusting a blanket you had on around tighter. “Sure but like- he’s been on thin ice the last few episodes? and this is a technical challenge! Would be totally unfair to Julia if they decide to rule her and her alcoholic cake out.”

You both keep commenting on the episode here and there until the credits begin scrolling. You sigh and let yourself flop onto Juza's arm, tired. Maybe the others were right and you were getting a little too invested in the supposedly peaceful and untroubled series... just maybe.

You reach the mouse, trying to log out from the platform as you lazily pass by the announcements of future series and films in the making. “You know, I read somewhere they just get a cake stand and some flowers if they win first place,” you mention, suddenly remembering the fact. “Wild. It’s so different from the cooking shows, with offers, dishes and all that I mean.” You feel him shrug.

“Haven’t seen many winners from those other shows later on.”

“Mmm... true.” You agree after giving it some thought, mind still replaying all the mistakes and bits that had happened in the episode. “I bet Omi-san would annihilate everyone though.” You think smugly. Seconds later your tummy rambles, making you look around the room. “Hey, do you still have anything left from the sweets you bought yesterday? I got kinda hungry after watching so many pastries.”

Juza nods, and you move enough for him to get up from the small table placed in the middle of his shared room where you two had been watching the show for almost an hour. You watch him head to his desk and come back seconds late with a big bag that makes you squeal with joy, clapping as he sits again next to you.

Once he takes some of them out and hands them you can’t help but moan in delight after the first few bites. ”Ugh, this is so good. I should have taken some with me as well.”

“You can take half of these home if ya want.”

“Nooo don’t spoil me!” you groan. Because it’s not like it’s the first time Juza has offered or shared sweets with you, but it always feels surprising to you for someone to give away something they enjoy so much so easily. He pays no notice of your rejection and pushes some more sweets to your side. “Juza!” you whine again.

"'s fine. Ya can enjoy 'em later.”

You hum, not completely happy. "Then I’ll invite you to something next time we go somewhere, I won't accept a no.”

“Ya don’t need to-.”

You immediately raise one finger, stopping him from saying anything else. “What did I just say?” you raise an eyebrow. The purple-haired actor stares at your firm gaze and nods. You laugh and shake hands with him. "Pleasure to work with you."

You two continue eating in comfortable silence for a while as you manage to pick up the noise of people walking by the hall. You try to recognize the voices in the distance: Azami, Taichi, Hisoka, Sakuya… it’s the middle of the afternoon so you imagine most of them are on their way to do their homework and the adults are most likely arriving from their jobs. You take another bite of the sweets and let yourself lie on the floor. You look at the ceiling, blanket still on stronghold. “Have you and Omi-san gone anywhere with your bikes in the end?”

“Uh? Ah, yeah. He said he knew a few roads near the mountains... We drove there last weekend.”

“I wanna see!” you exclaim sitting back up. You knew how much he had been looking forward to the trip. “Did you take any pictures?”

Juza pulls out his phone, unlocking it as you made yourself comfortable next to him, chin on his shoulder while excitedly still munching the sweets. You watch the autumn member enter the private chat he had with Omi and scroll through messages that went from university stuff, to timetables, to talks about everyday cleaning tasks and foods. “…Here.” He finally stops as he gives you his phone. “He shared some once we came back.”

“Oh my god- this place so pretty! Look at the view. Did it take you two much to get there? It looks so far from the city, I cannot see any road!”

“Kinda. We did some drivin’ between old pavements.”

Happy, you take a few more looks at the pictures; a few of the scenery, of juza looking into the distance from different angles -most likely not being aware he was the object of Omi’s camera- and give the phone back to its owner.

“I wanna go. Think you remember the way?”

“I got the area somehow... ‘Could always ask him again I guess.”

“Cool! Because we definitely need to take something to eat and go there to spend the day.”

Juza seems to like the idea too, though you think it’s mainly because he has been enjoying riding his bike at any given opportunity since he got his license.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna somethin’ more to put on?”

You blink confused and notice he’s been looking at the blanket you have been hanging on all this time. He scratches the back of his head, frowning, maybe thinking about what would be best for you to wear. “...Sakyo-san says it’s still early to put on the heating but I can look for a hoddie or somethin’.”

“Nah, I’m fine. I like to feel like a burrito.” You smile reaching for one more sweet from the bag -which you are starting to believe will be empty by the time you leave if you keep eating. You turn towards him. “You know, it’s been a while since we had time to relax by ourselves. When I come we are always with the others, but I kinda enjoy it the most when it’s us two and our favourite baking show.”

Juza ponders your words, warmth rising in his chest. Hearing those things directed towards him wasn’t the usual until he met you -He has never really been a talker after all.

As you continue to munch distracted he closes his eyes, his lips turning into a small smile. Because maybe he's a little proud to be able to give someone a happy space to relax. "...yeah."

You know he did not mean to say it out loud but you catch it nonetheless. It makes your eyes soften and ruffle his hair affectionately, obtaining a flustered yelp and questioning look from the golden-eyed actor. You laugh before changing the topic to another thing, making some more conversation. After all, neither of you had anything planned for the rest of the afternoon.

And what better way to spend time than with your favorite person?  

_______________________________________________________

Wishing you all a wonderful day! 💕

i cannot stop thinking about tma hell's kitchen au

(@f0xesand0wls thank you for enabling me)

- elias is the head chef, and peter and gertrude are his sous chefs. there are 20 total chefs in the competition: red team: jon, tim, georgie, daisy, naomi, agnes, gerry, jordan, helen/michael, oliver blue team: martin, sasha, melanie, basira, mike, jude, julia, jared, jane, manuela

- the black jackets are jon, martin, tim, sasha, georgie, and melanie, and the finalists are jon and martin. the winner is probably martin, but it doesn't really matter, because the actual plot of this is a jonmartin rivals-to-friends-to-lovers slowburn

- annabelle is the one who puts all of the film and audio together at the end. jmart watch the show once it's put on television and go 'what the fuck i didn't say any of that' because that's how reality tv is babey

- martin is one of those chefs who does poorly at the beginning but gets better and ends up in the final two. even though he's not on the same team as jon, jon is like 'this guy sucks' and maybe martin messes something up for jon early on and jon decides he does not like martin.

- jon is so nervous that he's going to screw up and get sent home early (he doesn't have formal culinary training and feels deeply underqualified) so he's very stiff and overly professional at the beginning. he relaxes over time as he becomes more confident in his own cooking and as he does well at challenges and dinner services.

- somewhere around chapter/episode 5, martin tells jon that he doesn't have any formal culinary training and that he said he did in order to get into the restaurant job he had prior to coming on the show. he's been cooking for his mother since he was ten though, and jon surprises himself by saying that that's a lot more impressive than studying technique in france or something. that's the catalyst of their transition from rivals into friends

- somewhere around episode 8, jude (who got switched to the red team a few episodes prior) gets eliminated, but on the dinner service before she does, there's an incident in the kitchen and jon's hand gets burnt pretty badly (not so badly that he has to go home, and he fights through the rest of dinner service because of course he does). he insists he doesn't have to go to the hospital for it, and elias reluctantly agrees and has the medic look at it. in the dorms later, martin helps jon unwrap it and put more burn cream on it and change the bandages and... yeah <3

- daisy and jon do not get along at first, and daisy actually tries to sabotage jon early in the season/fic. jon nearly gets eliminated because of it and he is not happy. then, a good few episodes later, the red team wins a challenge and they go on some sort of outdoorsy award and something happens and jon saves daisy from getting seriously injured. they're on better terms after that.

- when jon, tim, sasha, martin, melanie, and georgie get black jackets, elias (like every actual season of hell's kitchen) brings their family members/friends in for them to see. jon gets his grandmother, tim his brother, sasha her mother, georgie her best friend alex, and melanie some of her ghosthunt uk (the restaurant) friends. the only person martin has is his mother, and they tell him that she was too sick to come, but he can't shake the feeling that she just didn't want to. she didn't even agree to make him a video. it's a very awkward affair, and after the challenge (which tim wins) jon stands by martin while they're... idk, peeling 200 pounds of potatoes or something and they talk about it and they talk about a lot of their personal lives. for most of the competition, they're very aware that they're on camera at all times, but jon decides that being there for martin is more important than worrying about that.

- jon wins the next black jacket challenge and, when asked who he wants to invite on the reward, invites martin. they get to go wine tasting in a beautiful vinyard together and then they get some time to sit in the vinyard and just relax. martin probably realized he had a crush on jon around... episode/chapter 8? pretty soon after his admission that he doesn't have formal training. this episode is when jon realizes that he has a crush on martin, and the wine tasting suddenly seems very romantic and he gets very flustered. martin just thinks he's getting nervous since they're getting closer to the end of the competition.

- it's martin and jon in the finals. martin has tim, melanie, basira, and agnes on his bridage and jon has sasha, georgie, daisy, and gerry. in the middle of the entrees, something goes very wrong in martin's kitchen (not because of martin, because agnes burns like... ten racks of lamb or something ridiculous like that) and it looks like martin might not even be able to finish and he's freaking out just a little bit, so jon does something incredibly stupid and tells sasha to take charge of the kitchen for a moment and goes over into the other kitchen and pulls martin aside and takes martin's hands in his and is like 'it's okay, you're okay, everything's going to be okay. you're extremely talented and an amazing chef and an amazing person and i love you and this is not your fault and you're going to go back out there and get things back on track.'

jon goes back to his kitchen, elias yelling at him the whole way, and martin kicks agnes out and gets his kitchen back under control and they have no other issues that night. and martin's brain completely skips over the 'i love you' until the end of service, when the adrenaline wears off and they start to clear down and jon gives him this smile and suddenly martin remembers and he's like 'oh fuck'

but jon doesn't say anything about it so martin assumes he hadn't meant to say it, because of course he didn't, because they're competing for a job and $250,000 and he probably just heard jon wrong or something. jon probably said 'i love your cooking' and martin's just being stupid and letting his crush get away from him. so they both go back and sit in the dorms and wait for elias to call them up to his office. meanwhile, jon also remembers that he accidentally let i love you slip and he's having a bit of a crisis about it because on the one hand he meant it, but on the other hand he should not have said it then and martin hasn't said anything, so maybe he didn't even hear.

still, martin needs to thank jon. so he's eventually like 'thank you for what you did back there. i don't think i would have made it through service without what you said.' then, after a moment, because it is a competition: 'why did you help me? you could have let me drown and you'd have a secure win'

and jon just shrugs and says, 'because you needed help, and i... i care about you. i didn't want to see you fail. you are a good chef, martin, and i... i know you deserve this job just as much as me. you can go work at elias's restaurant and i can go back to mine and... and that'll be okay, if that's what happens'

and martin realizes suddenly that jon lives across the country from him normally and he doesn't know if he'll be able to see jon after this (chefs are busy people, after all, not a lot of time for family and such) and before he can really think about it he's like 'i wouldn't be okay with that' and then when jon just looks at him he clarifies, 'i... i don't want to just go back to living in [washington?], working all day and coming home to an empty apartment, and you'll go back to [new york?] and i... will i even see you again? because it's been so nice, being here, being with you, and i want to see you again, jon. every day.' he hesitates a moment, then decides fuck it, if i'm wrong, at least i'll only be embarrassed for a little while longer and says, 'what you said during service. did you mean it?'

and jon, tentatively, is like, 'that you're a good chef? yes, martin, i meant it, of course i did' and martin's like 'no, the... the other thing you said. right in the middle of it all. i- i don't know if i heard you right, and i just... i need to know if you meant it'

and it would be easy for jon to say no, to pretend like he didn't. but instead, he sits next to martin on the couch and takes martin's hand in his and nods and says, 'i... i've meant it for quite some time, i think' and he smiles at martin, a little bit shy, and martin's overwhelmed with affection and he reaches for jon's face, leans forward, and--

and the phone rings. unfortunately. because elias made a decision

- martin's door opens and jon's doesn't. jon thinks he should feel crushed, and he does feel disappointed, but mostly he's just so, so happy for martin. martin is stunned, and tim and sasha and georgie and melanie and basira and daisy are waiting for him below to congratulate him. martin's stuck in a round of thank yous when he turns and sees jon, who's run down the stairs to join the celebration and is looking at martin with those same eyes he would get when he was determined to win a challenge or finish a dish that needed two more minutes in one minute. and then jon just hugs martin, so tightly martin can barely breathe, and he mumbles into martin's neck, 'i would very much like to kiss you, but i very much do not want our first kiss to be on national television' and martin laughs and hugs jon tightly in return and mumbles back, 'i love you too, jon. just in case it wasn't obvious' and even though jon just lost, he's never been happier

- (they watch the show when it comes out together half a year later, in the little bit of free time they have around running their own respective restaurants, and they spend the whole time picking it apart

jon: okay i did not say that, where did they even get that from??

martin: god do i really look like that from behind...

jon: oh christ. martin, i- i think they thought i wanted to have sex with you. ugh, they've put on weird romantic music. red lighting. i hate this. i clearly did not--no, martin, don't give me that look, you know what i mean.

martin: wow, this makes us look like terrible chefs

and, at the end:

jon: christ, of course they were recording us in the dorms after the last service. this is a cooking competition, not a romance.

martin: eh, it was a bit of a romance.

jon: hush, i'm trying to watch. they're about to announce the winner. i don't have much hope for this chef martin; after all, he did burn that risotto back in episode 2--

martin, trying not to laugh while he glares at jon: oh my god jon let it go)

please feel free to scroll past this nonsense.  i’m sure  nobody  will  care  about,  but  i  needed  to  rant  somewhere  even  if  nobody  reads  it hgudfjos  this  is  just  a  long,  messy  rant /  thought  process  about  seth  (  a.lex  f.itzalan’s  character  in  s2  of  the  w.ilds  )  this  is  REAAAALLY long  i am  SO SORRY IF YOU READ THIS LMAO I JUST HAVE MANY THOUGHTS !!! 

i’m genuinely ugh, i don’t even have the word like frustrated is good but it’s more than that on how i feel about seth. i just have a lot to say about him.  i’m just upset that they promoted him to be a funny & good guy, had me hyped as fuck, thinking i was going to love him & he was going to become a comfort character.  when all he did was !!!! manipulate me !!!! god. stupid cute lil white boy....fucking me over.

what happened with henry was a lot,  he tried to justify it by saying he was showing him “ how bad he wants to live ”  &  it had my mouth open bc i rly thought he was about to kill his step-brother. but at this point he still had me convinced that he was the nice guy, idk he seemed like he was genuinely trying to help & was actually a good guy who just has a people pleaser attitude, who just needs everyone to like him & who has a co-dependency problem.  which is a character flaw on it’s own but he recognized he has this issue so i was like maybe since he’s self aware he’ll calm down &  he even admitted it to kirin but kirin knew it was more than that before i even thought it was. 

thinking back on some scenes, i realized he was deadass being nice to most likely manipulate the other guys into being on his side. he made it seem like  he’s oh so nice & that they can trust him & he’s keep their deepest secrets safe or whatever. when really he was just the inside man for bitchass gretchen. 

when he offered up the fish, he knew they’d crawl back and he’d end up getting them back on his side so he could once again manipulate them to get what he wanted. and when he knocked out alex ( i think that’s his name ) and acted like he was the one who found the boat so he could get back on the guys good side....  as if one thing like that would make them forgot what he did...lmao you fucking loser.... god. see kirin might be an idiot but he was like first one to not believe this mfer seth, like he knew.   AND !!!!!!  the way this mfer made his knuckles BLEED bc he saw a picture of julia with her ex........my guy you need to relax...also ????? what did he do to her  that it was bad ????? i need to know..... seth thought bc she was with her ex she’d leave him, understandable. kind of. not really. what’s 100% not understandable is him freaking the fuck out over it to the point where he stole her cat, and HURT her. like sit your psycho ass down.....he wasn’t playing when he said when he falls for a girl he’s all in like buddy......get some help. yeah you’re all in to the point where you have the “ if i can’t have her nobody can ” energy like what the hell....ugh

not to mention that that scene was 1000% unnecessary. i still don’t understand it. was it that he got off on a power trip? was he getting off from the torment ??? ? if anyone has some clarity, feel free to message me cause i am STILL sitting here dumbfounded & i just don’t understand why the writers thought that would be come se dice… OKAY… to make that a thing ???? 

i dunno man. i’m just really disappointed that i was so excited to see him in a popular show only to absolutely want nothing to do with his character.  it sucks bc when i’d see him on screen i’d be like god he’s so cute :(  i love him & then remember who seth was & just get so mad.  however, alex acted his little aussie heart out & i hope his next role has a character i fall in love with. i have more thoughts about this but it’s already long as fuck so i’ll end it with i miss harry bingham :((((( & i still love alex soooooo much my lil kangaroo but fuck seth. 

hi Hanna! if you’re still doing your celebration could i order a small 🎂🍌 based on warm glow by hippocampus?

hi alex! <3 i finally came around to it.

and actually i’m planning on keeping the café for fun, in case anyone should ever want some music recs or sth :)

so, here is your 🎂 :) you said it was ok to add more, so i did a large cake. i put your song at the beginning for reference.

as for the 🍌, my favorites are:

can i believe you by fleet foxes - hauntingly beautiful. i love the band and i could listen to this song all day. the way he belts out the “can i believe you?” ugh, chills

apple pie by lizzy mcalpine - this whole album is so calming and peaceful. makes me wanna lay in grass, stare at the sky and forget all responsibilities

5 years by jon bryant - he is so underrated omg. he has such beautiful songs with gorgeous melodies

the good side by troye sivan - i actually love both his pop-radio tunes and his quieter pieces. this one especially warms my heart

good news by mac miller - what a legend. and this song has such a chill vibe, i feel as if a friend was talking to me saying everything will be alright

landfill by daughter - i mean how could i not? it’s daughter. the guitar! her voice! the lyrics! i just adore everything about this

lost again by mighty oaks - yet another song where i’m not sure if i should admire it’s beauty and feel consoled or break out in tears. also love his voice

crash & burn by angus & julia stone - what an iconic duo. once again: how could i not?

haha sorry i couldn’t really decide, hope you don’t mind :)

i hope you enjoy the cake - you can let me know here <3

Where do you put your keys when you get home? personal

Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? one from far away on the sand when I was on camp and second time it was just dead and not even whole anymore, I wanna touch a snake!

What’s your favourite movie from the 80s? can’t choose only one

Are you expecting any phone calls or emails? not really

Do you have any family that live in another country? no one close

Are there any words that you hate or make you cringe? sure

What is the best house you’ve ever lived in? I’ve lived in one house only unless I can count some I stayed for awhile like grandma’s apartment or aunt’s cottage 

What movie reminds you of your childhood? many movies like Jumanji or Goonies

What was the last email you received? spam

Are you in any fb groups? I am

Whose house did you last visit? my gf’s

How many tabs do you have open right now? 5

What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? I procrastinate lots of stuff

What’s the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day? fb messanger/time

Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? I still live with my parents  Do you think there is life on other planets? not those close to us

Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? maybe Do you dream of traveling the world or are you happy where you are? I’m not happy but I don’t want to travel  Would you watch a porno with your partner? hmm... Have you ever stolen from your work? no Do you own any sex toys? I don’t How often do you use facebook at work? depends Would you date someone half your age? that would be illegal and I wouldn’t want to anyway Are you a romantic person? a little? Would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends? I probably wouldn’t be  Do you have a current passport? never had a passport Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? just my date Have you had a relationship with someone of the same sex? as a lesbian Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? no but it’s nice Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? possibly Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid? if you can’t act normal then don’t drink, UGH! Do you litter? never Do you believe in fate or destiny? not sure Doing nothing all day makes you feel…? both good and bad Have you ever had sex with someone you worked with? I have not Would you date someone just for the sex? noooo Do you consider yourself a positive person? pfft Are Sex and Intimacy the same thing? sex is to intimacy like square to rectangles How often do you get angry? I’m like Bruce Banner Have you had cosmetic surgery? I haven’t On a first date do you pay or do they? split Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? I don’t care what they do in life (school, job or nothing) if we don’t live together, I’m unemployed myself Could you date someone who does drugs? doubt it Do you enjoy watching sports? nah Would you do a striptease for your partner? umm... Would you date someone who doesn’t have a car? sure, I don’t even own one  You have a week off, travel or stay home? home <3 Does spending the weekend at home annoy you? noooo Do you consider yourself open minded? nah Do others find you sexy? r u kidding?... Have you ever met someone in person you met online? I have Do you tell your friends you love them? nope, just family and partner

Do your siblings dye their hair? sometimes Who can you best relate to in the last book you read? partially to Will, Stella and Poe Are you indecisive? it’s hard for me to make a decision but I am not changing my mind like wind blows

What are you listening to? Lana Del Rey What are you doing tomorrow? we’ll see What was the last compliment someone gave you? not sure which was last Do you have a big family? no but it’s still to big for me :x Which one of your senses would you miss the most if you lost it? sight, then hearing

What’s your opinion on prostitution? Should it be legal and regulated, or is it something that needs to be gotten rid of completely? it should be illegal If you want (or don’t want) kids, is this something you’ve always known or have you changed your mind as you’ve grown up? I wanted kids at first because I played dolls and didn’t know anything about pregnancy or taking care of real children, I just thought it’s normal everyone have them at some point and that’s all but once I found out more about the subject I realized it’s not for me because of many reasons

Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? yup Did the last person you kissed celebrate your last birthday with you? she wasn’t in my life at the time What’s the first word of the last text message you received? ok was the whole message XD

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I’m gonna die, if I won’t fall asleep I’ll explode, I feel so bad Are you okay right now? am I ever?... When was the last time you saw your mom? we’re home together What is the last thing you drank today? just going to drink some water in the kitchen Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? hope not What are you listening to right now? Cigarettes after sex Last time you had a sleepover? ages ago If the last person you dated said they were in love with you, what would you say? I know she does, she was telling me that already Do you replay things that have happened in your head? overthinking for life If you could get paid to do anything in the world, what would you do? sitting in front of the computer  Do your parents actually knock on your door before entering your room or just barge right in, instead? my dad knocks, my mom barges in What would you do if it snowed right now? ...

Are you more of a leader or a follower? loner

Would you say you’ve had a good life so far? no comment What’s something you wish you could have delivered to your house? regularly or right now? What’s your favorite art style? surrealism? Are any of your coworkers currently out on maternity/paternity leave? I don’t have coworkers now Do you have a good sense of balance? it’s hard to say Do you live in a very racially and culturally diverse country? no Do you live alone? I wish

Have you done something recently that helped someone else, in any way? nothing big If you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them? depends

Who was the last person to pay you a compliment? my gf The shirt you’re wearinh - is it one of your favourites? yep Is there a certain name that you think seems to have become really popular, and you know lots of people with that same name? growing up Ewelina, Julia, Emilia, Katarzyna, Urszula, Małgorzata and Michał were the most popular names Before Facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site? yup Have you ever asked anyone “Do you love me?” If so, did you get the response you wanted? Do you think when someone says “I love you”, you feel obliged to say it back? yes, usually and kinda If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again? that’s normal Are you friends with the last person you hugged, or something more? we’re related Do you ever post song lyrics as your Facebook status? sometimes Do you drink alcohol on a regular basis, or do you prefer to save it for special occasions? I don’t drink even on special occassions Did you play with Barbies when you were a kid, or did you prefer something else? I played with Barbies but not only them If you were going to buy a present for the person you love/like, what would you generally choose? what she likes/wants/needs :) If I’m going to buy you a box of chocolates, which kind should I definitely NOT get? don’t buy me any Is there something you generally always ask for help with? I need help with many things :( Has anyone called you beautiful today? no, I’m not so that would be a lie

Who was the last person to see you cry? my mother

Do you drink bottled water? sometimes

You never know what you have until it’s gone. True or false? kinda true

Are you scared of losing the person you like to someone else? if they were happy with someone else - let that happen, I’ll be fine alone

Will you be in bed in the next 20 minutes? too early to sleep

Do you laugh at inappropriate times? rarely

How many bracelets do you have on right now? zero

Do you have someone you have late night conversations with? I do

What does your phone do when it receives a text? vibrates

What is in your pocket? no pockets!

Can you remember the last person you texted without looking? my sister 

Do you listen to music everyday? almost

Are you gonna be home alone tonight? I won’t be alone

If there was a large spider in your room, would you stay in the room? how big?

Are you a flirty person? maybe The last store you went to was…? local

Do you have a friend named Alex? used to  What did you think of the movie Juno? I have mixed feelings about it How often do you eat meat? often Have you ever gotten clothes from the kids section as an adult? I have :x Are you more of a science/math person or english/history person? I’m artsy  When you were little, would you have rather watched Cartoon Network or Disney Channel? we didn’t have such expensive channels Since using the internet regularly, have you started to read less than you used to? I read less not because of internet Are you a big fan of the Harry Potter series? nah Do you find yourself feeling lazier when the weather is warm? I feel lazier when the weather is cold because I don’t wanna leave my bed or home at least Are you a fan of the TV show Friends? watched fragments and I like Chandler and Phoebe - I think they would be great together, I’m a bit like them How old do you think is too old to sleep with a stuffed animal? never Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? I’m not How many tattoos would you like to have? I don’t plan any Are you over the age of 25? I am Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever? omg! I want my life to get better :( Would you rather live without music or without the t.v? without TV

What is Life? (Chapter 7)

@lyssa1385​ @esparza-army​ @sweetsummertime99​ @tropes-and-tales​ @xemopeachx​ @gibbs274​ @jramirezblogs​ @thatesparzacrush​

October 1993

“Happy Birthday,” Krystal sang as she came in their dorm with a small cake and a handful of mail. “Looks like all of this is for you.”

“Thank you,” Izzy said as she started going through the cards. There was one from her parents, her grandparents, her brother, Erin, Antonio, Lauren, Lucia, Lina & Eduardo and to her surprise, Rafael.

“Are you not going to open this one?” Krystal asked as she held up the pink envelope.

Izzy just sort of shook her head. She was still reeling from the letter she had received three weeks before, even though she wouldn’t show it.

“He obviously still cares if he sent you a birthday card behind his girlfriend’s back.”

“It’s a guilt card.”

“Izz…”

“Just put ‘return to sender’ on it and I’ll drop if off in the morning.”

“Are you serious?”

“Quite. Maybe I’m being selfish or spoiled or whatever but I really don’t want to hear anything he has to say, even if it’s just ‘Happy Birthday’. His was 3 days ago, you didn’t see me sending him a card. He made his decision. Nothing is going to change that.”

“You know what? I think we need a night out.”

“Where are we gonna go? We’re 19. Well, I’m 19. You’re barely 18,” Izzy laughed.

“And we both have fake ID’s.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“You really need to do something about your wardrobe.”

“What’s wrong with my clothes?”

“You have more raglan tees than any girl I know. And how many pairs of jeans do you own?”

“I don’t know? 15?”

“My point exactly. You need to add some dresses, skirts, something to show off those legs. You don’t run up and down the basketball court for nothing.”

“I’ve played one game since the season started. I can’t be getting into trouble or I’ll get kicked off the team. I was lucky to make it anyways.”

“I’m not saying let’s go start a riot. Let’s just go look at something besides these four walls.”

“Okay, you win.”

“I’ll let you borrow some of my clothes.”

*********

“This is the spot where Richard Gere picked up Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.”

“God you are from Texas,” Izzy teased as Krystal sat on the bench.

“Well, sorry I didn’t grow up in the most fascinating city in the world,” Krystal replied as she stuck her tongue out at her roommate.

“I’m just kidding. Surely you met some celebrities in the big metroplex of Dallas/Ft. Worth.”

“A few Dallas Cowboys and Texas Rangers came through Six Flags on occasion. During the summers there would be concerts, of course a lot of those bands were from the 70s but yeah, I got to meet some of them.”

“See? You don’t just have to be in LA or New York to meet someone famous.”

After being mistaken for a hooker not once, but twice, Izzy was more than ready to go back to their dorm. She was uncomfortable in the outfit Krystal had picked out for her to say the least.

“Come on. Let’s have a beer or two and then we’ll go back, I promise.”

“Okay,” Izzy finally relented. To be honest, LA sort of scared her. She didn’t know why considering where she grew up.

The year before, LA had seen it’s share of trouble. The four police officers that had brutally beaten an unarmed Rodney King had been acquitted of assault and 3 acquitted of using excessive force. Over the next two days, riots began, killing 63 people in the process, over 2,000 were injured.

Looting and fired engulfed Hollywood Boulevard even. It was obvious the city was still rebuilding in many ways.

Even after Bernie Goetz was acquitted after shooting and wounding 4 African American teenagers from the Bronx on the subway in Manhattan in 1984, there was no rioting through the streets of New York.

If she was back east, she’d be wearing her favorite sweaters, cuddling with an afghan her grandmother had made her when she had to have her tonsils out when she was 12.

**************

Once she satisfied Krystal’s need to go out for the night, where as she met a guy that went UCLA, Izzy went back to their dorm and called Erin. Thanksgiving break would be soon and Izzy would be flying from LAX to O’Hare, then she and Erin would fly from Chicago to New York together.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t sound okay. It’s your birthday.”

“Guess who sent me a card.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“What did it say?”

“No idea. I didn’t open it. I’m sending it back.”

“Wow. That really hurt you, didn’t it?”

“I told him I loved him Erin then sounded like some stupid teenager in that letter I wrote him.”

“Well, you are teenager,” Erin joked. “Don’t feel bad about that.”

“I would’ve…I would’ve never…I would’ve never slept with him if I had known he was gonna go back to Yelina,” she said as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

“She’s always had some kind of spell over him that I’ve never understood. No one has. You know they’re not gonna last.”

“He’s been in love with her for 7 years.”

“Maybe, the way he felt or feels about you, scares him and Yelina is just…comfortable in a way. You know like if you two did get together and didn’t work out, you’d be…well, where you are I now I suppose.”

“Exactly.”

“Look, on Thanksgiving break, you and I are gonna go out, put our fake ID’s to use and forget about Rafael and Nick, point blank.”

“Still haven’t talked to him?”

“Once. I knew it was a stretch so it is what it is. We are gonna go out and have some much needed, underage fun,” she said causing Izzy to laugh. “Sound good?”

“Sounds good.”

“Well, I love you, girl.”

“Love you, too. I’ll meet you in Chicago in a few weeks.”

**************

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Erin muttered as she, Izzy, and Antonio played pool at a bar in Bay Ridge that was sort of lax when it came to checking IDs. Well, they played while Antonio watched mainly.

“What is it?” Dawson asked.

“Izzy why don’t we get out of here?”

“Our game’s not over. Erin what are you-“ She stopped when she saw why Erin was trying to get her to leave. There they were. Rafael, Yelina, Alex and some girl Alex was with.

Izzy told herself not to cry and went back to her game. “We were here first and I’m not leaving.”

“Maybe Erin’s right. Let’s get out of here and go get a slice of pizza at your uncle Sal’s.”

She took a deep breath before turning back to them. “No. I’m finishing my game and having a good time with my friends. End of story.”

“You heard her,” Dawson told Erin.

Yelina had apparently seen them and made a big show about kissing Rafael. Izzy pretended as if she didn’t see and continued the game. After kicking Erin’s ass, Dawson paid their tab and the three of them began to leave.

Unfortunately, Alex saw them. “Hey, guys!”

“Uh, hey, Munoz,” Dawson replied as he took Izzy’s hand in his just to calm her down. Rafael wouldn’t even look at her, nor would she him.

Erin didn’t know who she wanted to punch more, Rafael or Yelina. They made small talk for a minute before Dawson told Alex they had other plans and were needing to leave.

Yelina sort of scoffed with a chuckled, knowing why they were leaving. Izzy’s hand trembled in Antonio’s as he led her out of the crowded bar.

Rafael had made an excuse to catch Erin before she got out of the door.

“Erin?”

“What do you want?”

“Would you tell her…tell her I never meant to hurt her.”

“Well, you did. She loved you. It took her every bit of courage she had to tell you that and what did you do?”

“I-I-I-I…”

“I-I-I-I,” Erin mocked. “Don’t go crying to her when Yelina gets bored with you and I mean it or I will fly from Chicago just to kick your ass myself. I’m surprised Tony hasn’t done it. Let me guess, you’re steering clear of him, hmm?”

“Erin…”

“Just stay out of her life, Rafael.”

“I still love…”

“Don’t stand there and lie to me.”

“I’m not lying, Erin.”

“Then who are you lying to?”

“Everything okay, Rafi?” Yelina asked as she walked up to them.

“Yeah. I was just giving Erin a message from Nick. I ran into him the other day,” he lied.

“Are we done, here, Barba?”

“Yeah, Erin.”

“Good. Yelina, I’d say it was nice to see you but my parents always taught me not to lie,” she said before finally reaching the door and meeting Izzy and Dawson outside. “She okay?”

“I’m fine, Erin.”

“Why don’t we get her home?” Dawson offered.

“Guys, stop treating me with kid gloves. I’m fine. Really. You mentioned pizza, Dawson?”

“Food always changes her mood,” he laughed as he hailed a cab.

Time Will Set US Free- A Cherik Fanfic

Dedicated to @the-charles-to-my-erik

Chapter 6

Chapter 6- Anniversary

Charles and Erik had been together for 10 years, 10 years of hardship and love and support. Charles looked up to Erik and Erik cared about Charles for each day of their lives was a moment spent with Charles. If Erik loses Charles today then he would be nothing but he won’t let that happen for Charles was everything to him, he was a protector. A guardian.

“So, it’s your anniversary. It’s your 10 year anniversary, what are you going to do?” Asked Raven as he made her cup of coffee sipping it slowly her eyes looking deep into Erik’s own. “I was actually going to try to propose to Charles tonight” said Erik,fingers curling around each finger. Raven took a spit take of her coffee, the coffee spraying all over Erik’s face. “Sorry, sorry” Raven apologised as she handed him a dish cloth. “It’s alright” said Erik taking the cloth from her hands and then as if it came out from nowhere came a squeal of happiness and Erik turned to see Raven smiling and made her way towards him.

The hug was comforting and unlike Erik he hug her tighter. “Oh my gosh, he’ll be so happy. So how are you going to propose? Tell me everything, the details and all” she said her smile growing as she went back to her seat. Erik smiled back and had always praised Raven’s amusement and her excitement when she heard something so interesting about his and Charles’ relationship. “Well I want to do it tonight” “But tonight is the School Reunion” said Raven. “Crap, ugh I forgot, I’ve already got the ring and everything” complained Erik’s he buried face in his hands.

Raven placed a hand on Erik’s shoulders as she went by patting it gently as he smiled at him. “Hey, it’s alright… Now that you’ve mentioned the rings let me see” she said laughing. Erik shook his head as he got up and heads for his jacket pocket as coming back with a small black case. Raven came closer just as Erik opened the box. “What do you think?"he asked. "Will he like it?” At first Raven said nothing but then screamed again a much louder this time and was fortunate that Charles went out to go shopping.

Erik knew that this was a scream of excitement as he started to sigh in relief. “He won’t like it!” She said briefly. “He will love it” she said before Erik thought she meant what she had meant before. The ring was gold and had glistened in the light from the ceiling above them and as Erik handed the ring carefully to Raven she couldn’t help but admire the detail of the ring as she examined it with her own eyes. “How much this this costed you?” Said Raven her eyes still on the ring. “Nothing” “Nothing!” “It’s actually a family heirloom. My mother gave it to me after me and Charles graduated university. She wanted me to be happy, she knew that I was happy with Charles and she supported that. That ring you hold was given by mother who was given it to het by her mother and so forth. "That’s nice of her, she must have been very proud of you” she said beaming at Erik with a smile. “I’m sorry that she isn’t here to hear the good news” Erik smiled back. “You don’t have to apologise, I already she is looking down making sure I do it right” he said laughing a little harder.

~

Charles was siting in the courtyard as he flicked through the pages of his book. Charles was trying to concentrate but as he tried the sound of something familiar made him look up from his book. “Guess who?” Said the voice as darkness filled Charles’ eyes. “Erik!” “Happy 1 year anniversary, Liebling” said Erik as he removed his hands away from Charles’ eyes.

Erik leaped over the bench landing next to Charles. “So, 1 year anniversary? What do you say, we go out for dinner? There won’t be anyone there but us” said Erik as he kissed Charles on the cheek, his arm around his shoulders. “Are you asking me out on another date Erik Magnus Lehnsherr?” Charles teased as he gave Erik a small smirk. “Maybe” he replied back as he moved his body closer so their faces touched and their lips almost touch. They were close to kissing when a group of young students came their way strolling towards them.

Two girls and two boys were coming where they sat and Charles took his finger towards his temple and began to read their minds. He find what they were saying and hard held Erik’s hand tighter closing their distance. “We need to go Erik” he said his mind trying to warn Erik but he wasn’t able to reach his warning as the group had reached their way. “Hey, are you Xavier?” Said one of the students, a male his body well built. “I am and if you don’t mind we are trying to have a moment here” cried Charles his hand still held onto Erik. “So, we don’t care about your bloody relationship” “Then leave!” Called out Charles his serenity almost burning to rage.

The other boy laughed and without a second thought he gripped Charles by his collar and pulled him up. “HEY! PUT HIM DOWN!” Screamed Erik trying to make him leave Charles alone but the other boy gripped him, his arms around him making him stronger than Erik. “Jacob leave Xavier alone” “Shut up Julia” There was silence and the boy named Jacob returned his gaze back to Charles with a wicked smile on his place face. Charles tried to free himself grunting from the harsh grip of Jacob’s grip. “You think you are so smart but you aren’t, so shut up” he said and thrown Charles towards the ground where Charles landed with a hard thud.

Jacob sat on top of Charles making sure he couldn’t move and then a scream pierced the air. Jacob had punched Charles straight on his face repeating the same action over and again until Charles screamed harder making his lungs hurt. Erik wanted to help his boyfriend, to comfort him, to save him, soon his rage had filled his insides and had raised his head still struggling to free himself. The metal that was available to him started to rise with each struggle that Erik had using his mutation to make his way back to Charles.

Jacob didn’t stop, he even waved over to one of the other girl who moved over with another grin. “Rebecca, hold down his arms” he said and she did as he commanded so that Charles couldn’t move, he was crying hard and his tears made his wounds hurt with so much agony. “Please stop… Erik help me” Charles mumbled as his tears made it hard for him to concentrate. “Shut up you stupid mutant” Erik had enough and soon a pocket knife and other several metal objects headed for Jacobs way. The other boy holding Erik had shoved him to the ground, the knife and other objects had grazed Jacob on his shoulders, a small traces of blood staining his clothes. He winces in pain and all of the events that had happened stopped.

Jacob got up, his hand on his wound outing pressure on it. He grunted in pain. “You’ll pay for this Lehnsherr!” He said as he, Rebecca and the other boy went their way and didn’t even ask for Julia to join them. “CHARLES!” Erik said as he ran down on his knees and carefully wrapped his arms around Charles. Julia followed his movement and had kneeled down next to Erik, her eyes on the bleeding Charles then had looked at Erik and bite her bottom lip. “I can help” she said as she tried to calm Erik down. “What can you do to help? You can help you are just one of them. You are a homospian” weeped Erik, his arms holding on tightly onto his Charles, wanting to comfort him. He kissed him on his forehead, as he stained his hands with his blood.

Julia frowned a bit but soon her waved her hand over Charles’ body and as though nothing happened the blood, the wounds and bruises had been removed from Charles’ body. “What did you do?” Asked Erik nervously. “I healed his wounds but he may still be in pain… I’m a mutant too” she said as she smiled at Erik. “Now, you better get him to bed and rest” Erik smiled and lifted Erik before he had tried to turn around and say thank you but she wasn’t there. He shrugged it off and headed for his own dorm, he laid Charles down as he went to get a cold compress. “Erik… Erik” “Yes I’m here” he said as he settled the cold press down and began to stroke Charles’ hair bring down a kiss to his forehead.

Charles breathed in and out softly he’s eyes trying keep open but they were to heavy now. He’s breaths were slow but he was still alive. “I’m sorry for..for ruining our…our anniversary” muttered Charles he closed his eyes. Erik pulled him closer, wrapping his whole body around him as he placed a kiss on his forehead. Charles breathed in slow breaths as he rested his head on Erik’s shoulder; both of them fell asleep in silence.

~

When Charles got home Erik quickly room the ring back from Raven, placing it back in the box and back into his pocket. “I’m home” said Charles as he made his way inside. “We’re in the kitchen” shouted Raven. Hurried footsteps rushed trough the floorboards and into the kitchen, from there Charles quicken his pace heading straight for Erik. He kissed him on the lips while wrapping his arms around his neck, the kiss was short and sweet the way that they its love it.

Charles stepped back and gazed into Erik’s eyes. “You ready?” “Sure I am…and happy anniversary” Erik said smiling down with his shark grin. Raven smiled and finished her coffee and went to the two love birds. “Alright, we better go, the reunion starts in and hours time” she said a amount of amusement as she lead herself out of the kitchen and up the stairs, Charles and Erik laughed as kissed with intense movements.

The reunion wasn’t bad, everyone was there and seeing everyone after such a long time has been a wonderful experience. Charles and Erik walked in hand in hand as thy approached the school hall once they entered Charles made way for Raven to pass as she headed out to seek Hank. She and Hank hugged tightly and made her way past Sean, Alex and Moria; Charles pushed Erik forward wanting to see how everyone was getting alone. “I’ve managed to obtain a job at the science research centre” said Hank proudly he’s older and with his glasses still intact. They congratulated Hank on his achievements in which both Charles and Erik patted him on the back. “So Moria where are you now?” Asked Angel who appeared seemingly out of nowhere. “I’m actually started my frost grounds of my CIA agent training” “Wow, CIA agent! Impressive” said Sean who hadn’t changed much at all. They all laugh to which they carried on, they talked and laughed, the interacted in conversations about their personal lives and had listened to Charles and Erik’s committed relationship. Their friends congratulated them in their anniversary by patting them on the back before giving them a celebratory hug.

The group of friends were having the time of their lives when for a few seconds the sound of a familiar voice shattered the illusion of their happiness. “Well look who join the party” Sebastian Shaw walked by with his usual friends along his side. Janos and Azazel walked aside him their strides strong and big. “What do you want Shaw?” Asked Moria trying not to meet his gaze. “Look who’s talking, besides I wasn’t talking to you” Shaw replied to anger still in his tone. His eyes had landed on Charles and Erik who slightly back away slowly but they never had given Shaw what they wanted. “Whatever you want Shaw we are not interested” said Charles as he tugged on Erik’s jacket sleeve and headed for the school courtyard. “Oh but you soon will be” said Shaw as they both headed outside.

Once outside Charles took in a lungful of fresh air as e closed his eyes, Erik took his hand and rubbed it gently. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to spoil this moment but… Ugh, Shaw is driving insane” said Charles the frustration creeping in upon him. Erik pulled his boyfriend into a tight hug and kissed his forehead. “It’s alright” “No, Erik it’s not…” Charles didn’t finished as Erik took something out of his pocket and ha gotten onto one knee. “Charles Francis Xavier, you have been my everything. Since the day we met you were the only person who understood me, loved me for who I was. So Charles will you be by my side, we are lovers you and I. We want the same thing. Will you Charles Francis Xavier marry me?” Asked Erik the box containing the ring still in the box open for him to see. At first Charles said nothing thinking that he would say no but soon a burst of tears ran down his face and Charles cupped his mouth with his hands. “Yes. Oh gosh yes Erik, I will marry you” Charles answered with a gleeful smile.

🅰️ll 🅾️f theⓂ️

1: Namealex2: Agetwenty one pilots minus three3: 3 Fearshaving to install ubunturunning out of gaseverything on my hard drive getting corrupted, because that would mean reinstalling ubuntu 4: 3 things I lovedogs, drones, and bikes!5: 4 turns onconfidence, really good hair, a ticket to PyCon 2018, mccree6: 4 turns offwhen someone presses the power button again, all four of them7: My best friendhigh exarch turalyon8: Sexual orientationbi(cycle)9: My best first datewhat counts as a date10: How tall am Ifive even, i'm pretty useful in the home depot lumber section11: What do I missbeing in the robotics shop12: What time were I born6:12 pm, an unholy number 13: Favorite colorbloo14: Do I have a crushi think so 15: Favorite quote"everything dies, baby that's a factbut maybe everything that dies some day comes back"16: Favorite placeanywhere that i can pass out on17: Favorite foodnoodles, but also i had a really good brisket sandwich at my dad's place today it was like a healthy burger18: Do I use sarcasmno not at all19: What am I listening to right nowatlantic city by bruce springsteen the boss20: First thing I notice in new personif i can take them in a fight 21: Shoe sizesix but if you pay me, i can go up to a twelve 22: Eye colorbrown, apparently one that is abnormal for asians23: Hair colormidnight caramel24: Favorite style of clothingmessy, it's actually the new fad25: Ever done a prank call?no because i lose my shit in the first five seconds27: Meaning behind my URLits what i called the cheval de fries defense in 2016 because I'm Funny28: Favorite movieterminator 2 probably29: Favorite songthunder road but if it wasn't springsteen i'd probably say wish you were here/the final cut by pink floyd or read my mind by the killers. but listen that's like making me choose between my children30: Favorite banduGH what did I just say, pink floyd is up there i guess31: How I feel right nowtired, headachey, racing against hypothetical julia in answering this ask32: Someone I lovealleria windrunner33: My current relationship statustaken like bacon34: My relationship with my parentsits gotten better for sure35: Favorite holidayfourth of july because its warm36: Tattoos and piercing i havei'm bare and unstabbed37: Tattoos and piercing i wanti probably want a tattoo but idk what38: The reason I joined Tumblrprobably pjo fanart39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?well i certainly don't hate them40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?i get steaks, uchicago kid tells me good night after his last lame bot game of league41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?don't think i've kissed joseph42: When did I last hold hands?today, a few hours ago43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?not long if you don't count actually getting up44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?what is hair45: Where am I right now?my bed46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?either emma or art major au hanzo 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?well i like having working eardrums 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?hell yeah i do49: Am I excited for anything?really excited to go to work and have no one be there tomorrow50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?yeah 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?i'm always wearing a fake smile52: When was the last time I hugged someone?probably today53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?depends on the situation 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?probably not i'd cut it off by now55: What is something I disliked about today?the rain was being a dickhole56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?i think we already know the answer57: What do I think about most?what i should be doing58: What’s my strangest talent?i have no talents 59: Do I have any strange phobias?yeah 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?i prefer to eat the camera61: What was the last lie I told?"dark souls is a good game"62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?i hear carrier pigeons are making a comeback63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?ghosts? possible. aliens? yeah.64: Do I believe in magic?yeah i exist65: Do I believe in luck?no but my moms superstitions has made me paranoid of it66: What's the weather like right now?shitty and wet 67: What was the last book I've read?inheritance, again68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?not really69: Do I have any nicknames?alex is a particularly infamous one70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?either when i burned myself or when i found out my ubuntu installation didn't come with backlights71: Do I spend money or save it?hmmmmmm72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?i can touch my lip with my tongue 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?yeah there's my pink work shirt74: Favorite animal?tiger75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?probably vacuuming76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?Adobe Experience Manager77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?born to run 78: How can you win my heart?tolerate me79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?"please rez me"80: What is my favorite word?pachyderm81: My top 5 blogs on tumblruh i dont even know the blog names anymore 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?good night i am sleepy83: Do I have any relatives in jail?probably some in china84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?flying like a stealth drone, so that i go at supersonic speeds and i'm also invisible85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?"have you been giving it your all"86: What is my current desktop picture?an alliance human and an orc duking it out87: Had sex?ye88: Bought condoms?no89: Gotten pregnant?pregnant with my dreams!!90: Failed a class?not officially91: Kissed a boy?almost92: Kissed a girl?i believe so93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?its happened i think94: Had job?many job95: Left the house without my wallet?not recently since i got my license96: Bullied someone on the internet?i don't have the time for that97: Had sex in public?nope98: Played on a sports team?robotics is a SPORT FOR THE MIND99: Smoked weed?first where would i get it100: Did drugs?nop101: Smoked cigarettes?n o p102: Drank alcohol?the ask meme got me there, yeah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?i don't think i could live104: Been overweight?no105: Been underweight?yeah 106: Been to a wedding?no 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?try ten hours108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?hm no109: Been outside my home country?yes #worldtraveler110: Gotten my heart broken?when the assassins creed revelations trailer came out and it ends with ezio's aged face being revealed i started crying111: Been to a professional sports game?that's too much112: Broken a bone?the bone that held my happiness113: Cut myself?nopee114: Been to prom?i had a date with my calculus workbook 115: Been in airplane?yes unfortunately 116: Fly by helicopter?no but it will happen117: What concerts have I been to?none concerts 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?hm idk119: Learned another language?yeah technically 120: Wore make up?i prefer my ugly vanilla look thank you very much121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?i guess yeah 122: Had oral sex?never performed it 123: Dyed my hair?like a phoenix, and then a passionate robotics member124: Voted in a presidential election?i was basically a baby in the eyes of the law before i could125: Rode in an ambulance?noooo126: Had a surgery?once as a baby, now as a mature adult who needed their wisdom teeth taken out127: Met someone famous?hell ye128: Stalked someone on a social network?nichols before i became friends with him129: Peed outside?very likely130: Been fishing?yeah it was fun131: Helped with charity?yeeee132: Been rejected by a crush?this implies that i take initiative133: Broken a mirror?twice due to somersaults134: What do I want for birthday?a cd with all my spotify music burned onto it

Greys, for the in-depth fandom questions 😝 (I did them earlier they're fun lol)

 UGH agreed 

Top 5 favourite characters: lexie, mark, cristina, izzie, jacksonOther characters you like: meredith, callie (didn’t like her for a hot second in s7 though), arizona, addison, BAILEY THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING, george, april, karev only in the later seasons when he grows tf upLeast favourite character: burke. get it away from me. Otps: slexie, japril, merder, calzona, alex and izzieNotps: cristina and burke, romantic izzie and george, romantic mark and callieFavourite friendship: i feel obliged to say the twisted sisters, but i really loved lexie and derek’s friendship a lot. also, callie and derek’s friendship. too fucking hilarious in s9Favourite family: the greys Favourite episode: 5x22, 6x22, or the s6 two-parter finale Favourite season/book/movie: season 6Favourite quote: either mark’s advice about love to jackson in s9 or my baby lexie when she’s like “i’m calm, i’m so calm, i’m the calmest person here.” and then twenty seconds later “BACK THE HELL UP, RIGHT NOW.” also, bailey’s speech to the nurses against mark sloan was iconic as hellMoment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: i lost my SHIT when mark came up to lexie and told her she could have a husband, i also got unparalleled chills in the s5 finale when george writes ‘007′ on meredith’s hand and she realizes who he isWhen it really disappointed you: when izzie left for what seemed like no good reason???? WHEN MARK AND CALLIE SLEPT TOGETHER. AGAIN. Saddest moment: when mark’s voice cracks when he tells lexie to stop bc she’s going to be fine, when he starts kissing her hands and telling her he loves her over and over again and his voice cracks once more, when mark sees the body bag on the plane and literally diesMost well done character death: mm, i know this is super random but probably adele webber??? literally one of the most heartbreaking and honest moments in all of s9. that and all the other character deaths were ones i couldn’t stand by Favourite guest star: leven rambin i’m biased she’s my everythingFavourite cast member: chyler leigh, eric dane, sara ramirez, ellen pompeo, kate walsh sarah drew, jesse williams, jerrika hinton, caterina scorsone….i love casts yall you can’t make me pick just one (but if i had to it’d be chyler)Character you wish was still alive: ….do i even have to say itOne thing you hope really happens: everything goes supernatural and all my babies return from the deadMost shocking twist: when george wrote 007 on mere’s hand, i’m still shook tbh. i also didn’t see the merger with mw coming so i suppose that countsWhen did you start watching/reading: october of 2016Trope you wish they would stop using: let’s all just not communicate our wishes and desires before we run off and get married and then fight until we’re blue in the face over it!!! also, everyone leaving and dyingOne thing this show/book/film does better than others: knowing when to bring in new characters and how to make sure you fall in love with the newbies and have them grow on you before they (shonda) start to subtract and addFunniest moments: i’ll limit this to a few if i can–6x03 when lexie goes insane and mark is like why god why me, mark’s reaction when he finds out the blonde he’s hitting on is lexie, meredith confronting lexie in the shower and lexie’s like MERE I’M NAKED AND IN THE SHOWER, george and istan, cristina losing her shoe and no one else seeming to care, cristina when she sees owen and grabs meredith and they take off runningCouple you would like to see: slexie. sorry i’m not sorry.Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: i have literally no idea…i want kim raver back if that counts for anything??Most boring plotline: all of season 4 i don’t know herBest flashback/flashfoward if any: the mark flashbacks in 9x01, and all of 9x02 since it’s pretty much a flashbackMost layered character: ameliaScariest moment: s6 finale my heart was in my assGrossest moment: anything to do with eyes, i can’t stomach it and that’s why i couldn’t like julia was bc OPHTHALMOLOGIST EYES NOPE CAN’T DO ITBest looking male: eric dane or jesse williamsBest looking female: chyler leigh (esp as a blonde, hallelujah amen) or addison montgomeryWho you’re crushing on (if any): i mean…have you seen who they castMost beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): the mark/lexie kiss in adrift and at peaceUnanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: HOW ONE MINUTE ALL THE INTERNS ARE THERE AND THEN NEXT IT’S LIKE OH LOL ONLY ONE OF YOU IS LEFTAt what point did you fall in love with this show/book: um, one episode in. i knew i was a goner after the train crashed

June 14, 2020

Wow. Wow. Wow. There is so much bubbling and happening ALL AT ONCE! So many insane synchronicities. 

I started having second guesses on signing the deal, realizing that I’m creating so much on my own and I wouldn’t have to give up half of my earnings just to say that I am signed. But that is still so super appealing to me. I can’t help it. I feel like it will open many more doors on its own and give me way more of an edge in the music industry. And as shallow as it sounds, being able to tell people what I do it will be helpful to add that in there :) 

I watched Journey to Fearless which is a big documentary on Taylors first tour and I feel like that pumped me up and made me SO happy to watch her successes. I truly am so grateful for her and that she made it. It makes me believe that I can really do the same and find my own way to it all. Then Marisa told me to watch the Kygo doc! Even though I had already seen it a while ago, seeing it again with fresh eyes and see Patrick Moxey talk......NO BRAINER TO SIGN. Kygo has been my GOAL and dream for so long and just the energy and connection to him is everything. Im grateful for Marisa for inspiring me and helping me feel that connection again. 

THEN BEN TEXTED ME TODAY! Ugh like finally. Seriously after I emailed Alex Koste to produce wild ones. I’m over that song now lol but i’m still so glad he’s finishing it. I love the drop so. much. 

There’s a level of confidence now that I believe the deal is helping me achieve. But in addition to that even its just all the abraham and rereading the surrender experiment, watching Taylor videos, it truly all connects. Like mom said. My yoga, running, going to Nicoles house and talking to people in normal jobs, it all. connects. Getting the text today from Dave saying midnight kids wants stems to halfway to your heart AND lonely like me..... I absolutely lost it. I FELT that true crazy dance screaming HIGH that Taylor felt when she wins an award or sees her stage for the first time like WOW. This is just the beginning. I LOVE these super high feelings SO MUCH! Especially for lonely like me. like COME ON! I wrote that all by myself. And I’ve always known that I can easily do that and be successful. It feels so incredible. All I want is to be featured on so many songs with kygo, odesza, gryffin... have big songs with them and go on TOUR with them. thats it for me. Be Sasha Sloan and Julia Michaels in ONE. Have my own songs and be known for my voice being on so many tracks. LETS GO!

It is truly the beginning. And interesting to remember my reading with that one psychic shane recommended me to and all I remember her saying is things will start picking up and coming together in June. JUNE! Here we are. It’s all coming together, and it’s all making sense. 

Also all the crazy numbers that pop up everywhere for me and Manon and her sending me a song called Ocean and getting an email from Oceanna from life of garden for a brand partnership at 9:17am is something I’ll never forget. We have been so extra aligned and i’m so utterly appreciative towards her and our friendship. she is my ROCK! So thankful. also I finished the 21 abundance meditation challenge casey sent to me WOO!

I am so. happy.