I’ve had this bouncing around in my head for a while, but seeing as everyone likes to debate when Steve and Bucky really got together, I thought it was worth sharing why I personally, firmly headcanon them to have only started a relationship, at the earliest, in 1943.

On Steve’s end, he’s been in love with Bucky since he was sixteen, and he hasn’t been afraid of it in all that time. He knows what he feels is true and pure and that nothing society says could make him feel disgusted with himself. And he’s not stupid, okay? He understands the risks. And he’s not reckless (he is, but with himself, and this isn’t the point here anyway) — he wouldn’t try to be more open about it than Bucky was comfortable with, wouldn’t even try to get him to do anything outside the apartment if that’s what it took.

But Bucky. Bucky’s afraid. Whereas Steve would rather die knowing he stayed true to himself and confessed his feelings for the love of his life, Bucky just wants Steve alive. He loves Steve with everything in him, but because he loves him so much, he restrains himself. Steve already has so many targets on his back — why would Bucky willingly add another one? Worse, it would only confirm what people already suspect about Steve. It’s why Bucky bothers with the double dates, the constant charm and flirting; he sees himself as a shield for Steve.

But when he gets drafted, and Steve really does follow him to the front lines, Bucky’s worst fears have already come true. He’s almost died, and Steve has irrevocably wedged himself into the war efforts. The odds that they both come back alive from this are astronomically low, in his opinion. So what does it matter if they’re in love now? Steve’s got a new shield, a better one; he doesn’t need Bucky anymore, not like that. He can let himself love Steve, and accept Steve’s love.

He can let himself find happiness in his darkest moments.