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golgoterror · 4 years

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Alright, this is ungodly long, but I just wanted to talk about something regarding Jake.

A lot of this fandom -- at least, from what I’ve seen -- label Jake as stupid. Some may even say Jake and smart are antonyms. This could not be further from the truth. It almost irritates me how much the fandom places this mischaracterization on him. Also, I get to talk about The Lad™ for about ten pages worth of words on Google docs, which is always very, very fun for me.

Well, first things first, let’s talk about the child genius and multi-billionaire polymath that is Jake English.

Puzzle Modus.

Let’s begin with something small. Jake’s modus is of puzzlekind! This is described as:

It's quite a handy modus, allowing you to captchalogue objects of any size, as long as you can fit them all in a finite space by maneuvering the cards around like a big game of Tetris. You like it because it keeps you sharp for solving any puzzles you might find when you go out raiding hallowed tombs, which is never. (x)

He likes puzzles! This is a huge headcanon I absolutely adore that has a basis in the comic: He’s a puzzles guy! This is just sort of a neat little fact about him that I adore to the moon and back. Just the idea of Jake fiddling about with a Rubik’s Cube is kind of adorable.

This is how he goes about doing everything every day of his life. I think that’s just amazing! And incredibly smart of him, I might add.

Skaianet.

Jake is shown in the credits to take over Skaianet after the game ended. For those unfamiliar, Skaianet made many things for the game, including but not limited to: the interstellar travel we see, transportalizers, the lab by Rose’s house, all Jake’s fancy-schmancy computers, and Sburb itself. In the beta timeline, Grandpa Harley founded Skaianet. In the alpha timeline, Grandma English did. I know Jake didn’t start it up and trying to pass off his alt-timeline self as him is a bit far-fetched at best, but he had the spoons to take it over. I think that speaks volumes for Jake’s intelligence -- this implies, at the very least, he can understand mathematics and physics at a high level. Remind you of someone we already know?

It is also important to note that Jake does, in fact, build the company back from the ground up, because it went to shit before his grandmother died:

GT: Pretty sure her company made a tidy fortune til it went belly up. At least i still have a few of her knickknacks for keepsakes. (x)

So he built an interstellar company back up -- using what his intelligent grandmother had once used -- to being very useful and practical once again.

As someone with a degree in mathematics and about to finish a degree in physics, I can say this sort of work would for sure require at the very least a decent understanding of quantum mechanics, statistical mechanics, electrodynamics, calculus (vector and differential forms), ordinary and partial differential equations, and perhaps other things like topology. I don’t know about you -- and I’m probably tooting my own horn a bit by saying this -- but I think that’s pretty nifty, if I do say so myself.

Actor.

Once again, I’m reaching into the credits to show that Jake has become a movie star after the game ends. Memorizing all those lines, slipping into characters... Being an actor is no easy feat.

( Side note: This leads into my headcanon that Jake can imitate accents and voices on a whim. No more arguing about whether he has a British, American, or Australian accent -- you’re all right! )

And I would like to add he has two jobs! Skaianet and being a movie star! This guy’s a fucking polymath for Christ’s sake.

Reading People.

Let’s start of simple: Brain Ghost Dirk. I can hear the outcries now of Dirk’s powers being the cause for this. And, yes, I can’t ignore Dirk’s influence in this, but Jake’s hope powers were also needed for the projection to come alive. And the fact he was able to make such a startlingly accurate projecting of Dirk in his own mind is astounding -- even BGD himself thinks so!

TT: You could view me as a projection of the real Dirk within your mind, as expressed through all of your thought patterns about him. TT: So I'm kind of a splinter of his corporeal self who happens to live in your awareness. TT: I'm a startlingly close approximation to the real thing, for all intents and purposes. GT: Just how startlingly close are we talking? TT: I'm not going to give you a bogus percentage like the glasses cause that's not my shtick. TT: But pretty damn close. (x)

A very deep understanding of the other is needed for Jake to do this. That is pretty fucking incredible. He can clearly read people really well -- he had a few times where he was cluing in on Jane and Dirk have feelings for him:

TG: its one of those things jane likes about u so much GT: It is? TG: which TG: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr im not supposed to talk about 2 u evr so nm GT: Talk about what? TG: nope GT: You mean how um... GT: Well a way in which i suppose... TG: no nope GT: Jane is prone to looking upon me with what i fathom to be more than just friendly affection? (x)

TT: I guess call it an extra birthday present. But instead of a present that's awesome, consider it more like a weird confession that may change the way you feel about me. GT: Whoa uh... GT: Dirk are you... uh... GT: Saying what i think? (x)

He’s not completely clueless on people! In fact, he seems to have a really good understanding of his friends. That’s something a lot of people seem to forget because of the incident that I will be getting to later on.

Fending For Himself.

I’ve already written quite a bit on this, but I’ll sum it up here: Jake is exceptionally good at living in the wild and taking care of himself. Sort of like a wild garden; he doesn’t need to be taken care of. Survival skills, especially around fighting and fending off things, aren’t something everyone has. This, once again, counts in his favour, even if it doesn’t line-up with “book smarts”.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

That’s five things! It’s clear Jake is, in fact, a polymath and incredibly intelligent. So, what’s with the fandom painting him as being dumb? What’s with people actually thinking he’s stupid? I think we can all take several wild guesses as to why that’s the case.

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Takes things literally.

This is something that plagues Jake quite a lot. Case in point:

GT: Wow like the epic kevin costner film? TT: Almost exactly. Especially by the same degree of shittiness. GT: Oh man does that mean you have to drink your own pee?????? TT: You get used to the taste. Welcome it, even. TT: That takes about 15 days in a row of hard piss drinking though. GT: Ewwwwwwwwwwww no dude. No ew. :( TT: Relax, I don't drink any goddamn piss, ok? GT: Oh ok. Whew. (x)

But, well, let’s address the elephant in the room. The chat I laughed so hard at when I read it the first time due to pure, unadulterated second-hand embarrassment: Jake asking Jane if she had feelings for him.

Let’s analyze this, shall we? Jake starts off by being vague as all Hell, and I’ll spare those details, until finally...

GT: Just come out and say it. Do you fancy me? GG: No! GT: I see. GT: Very well then. GT: Jeez i mustve really misread that one! I feel like kind of a bone head now. (x / x)

Okay, she says no, and he backs off. That’s fine and dand--

GG: No!!!!!! GG: Oh my God, what am I saying here? GG: Jake, I didn't mean it! I didn't want to make you feel that way! GT: Now jane lets not backpedal here. GT: Youve spoken the truth and i greatly appreciate and respect you for that. GT: But now that i think about it you know what? GG: ... GG: No? :( GT: Please dont take this the wrong way but your answer is actually kind of a relief! (x)

... Oh, right. Yeah. It keeps going. It just keeps--

GT: Actually since youve made your feelings apparent and only see me as a friend that makes it a lot easier! GG: Haha, yes! GG: Friends!!!! GT: Maybe you could help me sort out some stuff that has been weighing on me lately? GG: Well what are friends for Jake!!!!! (x)

Sweet Jesus, Jake.

GG: Me? GG: HOO HOO HOO! GG: I'm just GG: Terrific! GG: I'm feeling so... GG: Friendly!!! GG: I clearly just want to be a good friend and bring all my AMAZING FRIENDLINESS to bear on your problems. GG: Friendlystyle! Ahahahah? GG: Shit I mean GG: Ahahahah! GT: Thats aces. Jane youre a sweetheart. (x)

Alright, alright, enough! You all remember the fucking chat.

Regardless, it’s very apparent Jake takes things at face value. I also will cite him talking to Jane before her birthday, but not list examples, because what happened above will just happen once again.

Okay, so he takes things at face value. What’s wrong with that? He trusts people to not lie to his face -- to not sugarcoat things or beat around any bushes. Perhaps I’m projecting a bit, but I do the same damn thing. I think a lot of people do! I don’t think reading things as fact over text is a good measure of someone’s intellect. All it does is show he has issues with communication. Okay, so he struggles with one thing. Sue me.

Doesn’t catch things right away.

Yeah okay I’m just gonna dump a few examples of this.

GT: Haha wow. Must have been a hell of a guy. TT: So... TT: You're not making any connections there? GT: Where? Huh? TT: Famous comedian, about the age of your grandma, inheriting the family name of the Baroness... TT: Not ringing a bell? GT: What are you talking about! Dirk stop speaking in riddles and keep telling the story i am on tenterhooks here! TT: Ok, well it's not like it's that important. Just a super obvious thing that'll probably occur to you later when you're looking in the fridge you don't have, at which point you'll feel like an idiot. GT: Oh my god you can be one opaque motherfucker just clue me in bro! TT: Nah, it'll be funnier this way. GT: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!! TT: Moving on. (x)

GT: Whats going on? TT: Took you long enough to figure it out. TT: Pages really are a slow burning class. Damn. GT: Figure what out! TT: You're asleep. (x)

This leads into the point above. His mind doesn’t work that way -- but that doesn’t mean he’s not intelligent. He needs everything laid out in front of him so he can make the connections and understand what’s happening, but there’s no real harm in this, and it certainly doesn’t dictate whether the guy is “intelligent” or not.

There are many, many more examples in canon depicting Jake as having difficulties with communication and you all can open most of his pesterlogs and probably find one. I’m not going to list anymore. But, hold your horses, I swear I’m getting to a point!

Difficulty reading.

A lot of the media Jake consumes is picture-based. Movies, comics, even the puzzles are most likely spacial and probably not riddles. It’s not far to imagine Jake might not be a terribly good reader, considering nobody was really around to make him read. Of course, his grandmother was around when he was little, so he can read -- and he can read just fine. But he probably isn’t very good at it simply from lack of practice. He also has terrible grammar, something Jane picks on him for, so it’s entirely possible that’s a contributing factor. He may just have trouble reading and writing.

Speaking from experience, I have dyslexia. As such, reading and writing are incredibly hard for me. I never read the books in my literature classes -- both in English and French -- but I did get the gist of the books (enough to get a decent mark in the class at least) by watching a movie adaptation of the novel. I don’t think it’s that far-off to think Jake may, indeed, do the same thing.

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NOTE: This next part is a bit hard for me to write, because I don’t want to vilify any of you. It might not have clued in on anyone or maybe you just saw Jake as a sort of comic relief and meant no harm by it. And I hope shining a light on this will make you all think twice about the guy. However, I can’t really avoid this next part, and I may get a bit emotional in it. Just a bit of a warning.

All of the above points are just me trying to say Jake probably has undiagnosed learning disabilities and perhaps autism. I don’t think I need to go into detail about how those don’t make someone “stupid”. If you think that’s the case, fuck you. I can’t argue with ableists, much less do I actually want to.

NOTE: I wrote a thing on his speech impediments. That may be of interest too. I don’t really know, but here it is nonetheless.

My take-away message here is: just because someone struggles with socialization or other things doesn’t mean fucking anything in terms of their intelligence. Jake is very clearly smart and has the ability to read people incredibly well -- to the point of making copies of them! Perhaps it’s just a bit easy to underestimate the guy compared to other characters, though.

There are other things that muddy this up a bit, unfortunately.

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Trolling.

Jake is such a fucking troll. Jesus shitting Christ, does he get a kick out of acting stupid just to make the other person look silly. Or perhaps even to make himself laugh in the process. Case in point:

uu: I WILL JUST BE YOUR PATRON DUDE. uu: OR MAYBE. YOUR PATRON MANBRO. GT: Sounds pretty gay. uu: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? GT: Whats what? uu: GAY. WHAT'S GAY YOU IDIOT FUCK. GT: Oh right. GT: Forgive me i forget you arent familiar with all of my earth lingo. GT: Its like... GT: How do i explain. GT: You know. Its a rather old fashioned term for being jolly and festive together. GT: Like "that rollicking time we had scrumming the other eve sure was gay." uu: I SEE. uu: THEN YES. YOU ARE CORRECT. uu: THIS IS GOING TO BE GAY AS HELL. (x)

Look at his goddamn face during this exchange:

That little bastard knows exactly what he’s doing.

And these aren’t stand-alone events! Jake is very, very silly and will use the fact others see him as stupid to have a little fun. May as well, right? And, in the process, he makes others look pretty damn stupid.

But sometimes it’s a bit hard to tell when he’s acting stupid against when he’s genuinely not getting something. I think he even fools himself sometimes! So you have to be a bit careful about fake-outs. I’m sure even the other alphas have trouble deducing when he’s doing this -- which only adds to the myth of him actually being “stupid” when viewed on first-glace.

He probably also does this with crushes, purposefully ignoring the signs because he doesn’t want to deal with it or may not believe anyone could like him that way. After all, if he’s wrong, he may think himself to be conceded and having a big head. So, he ignores the signs, thus convincing himself the feelings aren’t there. Then he gets absolutely fucking bamboozled beyond belief to find out they actually do like him. But that’s just a little side-note.

Thinks he’s stupid.

This one is just a bit... Sad. Very sad. Jake genuinely does think he’s stupid. Quite a lot, really.

GT: I shoulda asked where he fit into the picture if you were raised alone. I can be dumb as a bag of penny candy sometimes. (x)

Just... Man, he’s been called and treated as stupid so many times, he’s at the point where he believes it. If you asked him, he’d say Dirk is a genius, Roxy is always smart and sassy, and Jane is brilliant. (I don’t have a source for that last one but... Come on. She lectures him about grammar. Don’t fuck with me.) But when it comes to himself? He can’t say the same. Of course he then acts that way. He sees himself as a burly adventurer who is also a gentleman and tries to live up to that. No where along those lines does he think he’s intelligent. And that’s just... a little heartbreaking, really, all things considered.

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Can’t believe this blog is just me going, “Wanna see how fast I can talk about Jake?”, and a shit-ton of people all nodding before I talk for six hours straight. Anyway, take-home message is: Jake’s smart. Jake’s very, very smart. He’s also a himbo, but he’s incredibly smart. Just because he has learning disabilities doesn’t mean fuck-all.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. There are drinks and refreshments in the back. Have a safe trip home. Remember to tip your waiters and waitresses. Jesus fuck can I run this gag any harder into the ground? Giving me language was a mistake. No but, really, if you read this whole damn thing, thank you! I hope this was as fun to read as it was to write.

#ooc.#headcanons.#about.#ableism tw #and i hate to do this but after the speech impediment post i must:#dont steal these headcanons.#(unless youre a jake rper then by all means thats fine!)#yes these arent exclusive to jake but this took a lot of time and effort #id appreciate it if youd all respect that #tia! <3

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commentaryvorg · 5 years

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(This isn’t the moment Kokichi falls into despair. This is the moment he figures out that everything is fiction.) I think this is a bit of hindsight bias. I mean, just because Kokichi figures out something is a lie doesn't mean that it's purely for entertainment. That wasn't the case for dr1, after all? It absolutely was apocalyptic as hell out there, and Tsumugi could easily be lying about it being a "set" as well as peoples talents being fake (case in point Miu, no way in hell was hers fake)

Also about Hope's Peak like, even Shuichi doubts that it's fiction in the end? I doubt Kokichi would ever come to that conclusion when he had the book in his lab, and for a special reason? And yeah, people may have enjoyed the game and screwed with them, but that doesn't mean it's just about the outside world or whatever but the organization responsible for arranging this (TDR) since they're really corrupt and sadistic. Idk, I feel like there's a lot more to this judging from the evidence

Sorry if this is flooding you I'm just really bothered because you said it's 'the only thing that makes sense' and I'm like nooooo, no no no no it's not?? There's more worth looking at especially around Kokichi, it's super vague about him even in the end

(If this is the same anon as before, thank you for being more polite about it this time! I am quite happy to have a legitimate discussion about this.)

Okay, so, of course, this whole commentary is running under the assumption that everything is fiction because that's my interpretation of the story. The awkward thing about that for people who aren't necessarily ready to buy that interpretation is that most of the parts where I get to actually discuss why that's my interpretation happen towards the end of the story. Until then, I'm just kind of casually assuming it's the case without getting much chance to back it up, at least if I don't want to go off on massive tangents unrelated to what's actually going on. I'll be talking a lot more about this in chapter 6 (and a little bit in chapter 5) when we reach the parts where the narrative starts actively focusing on all of this. Hopefully then it'll become clearer why I think what I do. (Hopefully. I’m not quite so far ahead in writing this that I’ve reached chapter 6 yet, so I don't know exactly what I'm going to say when I get there, but.)

I acknowledge that my interpretation isn't the only possible one and that there are some holes in it. I talked about a few of these during the prologue and also briefly mentioned the talent thing when we saw Angie's waxworks. But the thing is, I'm pretty sure there isn't any single interpretation which has absolutely no holes in it. I've certainly never seen one which doesn't make me go "okay, but what about this, though". Not even mine, admittedly, yes.

I choose to go with my interpretation for two reasons, the first being that, in my opinion, it has the most supporting evidence and the fewest holes. (And most of the holes it does have can be put down to the fact that the out-universe writers probably couldn't do much about them if this was the story they wanted to tell. For example, the pregame characters being kidnapped and then so slow on the uptake about being in Danganronpa is awkward, but the alternative, assuming this is the truth of the story that the out-universe writers are trying to tell, is either that they make it very clear what's going on and spoil the entire plot twist for the out-universe audience before the story's even begun, or we don't get to see the pregame characters in the prologue at all and therefore have no potential proof that there even was a "pregame", which would make it seem even more likely that Tsumugi was lying about that.)

But my second and probably more important reason I go with this interpretation is simply because I like the story best this way. I love metanarratives, and I find it absolutely fascinating to think about and discuss the ways that this being treated as a story within the story affects how things go. If this wasn't something that I could genuinely believe is the truth of the story, I wouldn't like Danganronpa V3 anywhere near as much as a narrative and wouldn't have as much fun talking about it to the point that I might not even be doing this commentary.

Obviously not everyone's going to feel the way that I do, and that's fine. But I think it's perfectly valid for me to use "this is what I want to believe" as a reason to believe it when that's an actual message that the story promotes. The narrative towards the end makes a point of the idea that sometimes you can never be sure what's a lie and what's the truth. That's almost certainly why Kokichi as a character is as ambiguously presented as he is (as much as I keep expressing my frustration at the lack of a concrete backstory explaining why Kokichi is the way he is, I do understand that the writers did it for this purpose, even if the result is that it makes me less able to like him), and why the plot itself is so ambiguous and there are multiple interpretations that are plausible. The player is basically invited to choose whichever interpretation they want to, so that's what I'm doing.

I gave you this general speech instead of addressing some of your specific points since I'm going to be talking about most of those points in more detail later when they come up in the main commentary (and I'd be happy to discuss them further through asks if you still want to once we get there). I will talk a bit about Kokichi here, though, since I won't be doing so later - because I'm honestly a little confused as to why you appear to be so sure that Kokichi is the key to figuring out the whole truth of the story. It seems apparent to me that the reason things are so vague and ambiguous about him even at the end is simply because the narrative purpose of his character is to be an embodiment of that theme about lies and truth, like I just discussed, not because the real truth about him would somehow give any answers about anything important. Kokichi is just as in the dark as any other character except for Tsumugi, and anything he might figure out is nothing but a guess. I admit that when I said "the only thing that makes sense" re Kokichi's view on the outside world, I was running under my assumption that everything is fiction, and, yes, him having hypothetically guessed that doesn't prove anything about what's really out there. That entire point of mine was less about using Kokichi to back up my interpretation of the real truth of the situation, and more about using my assumption of the real truth of the situation to back up Kokichi's state of mind. I still stand by my observation that the comments Kokichi makes in that scene do seem to be hinting that he thinks everything is not only a lie but specifically fiction, though, regardless of whether or not he's right about it.

I'm also not sure what Hope's Peak has to do with Kokichi, since Kokichi never learns about it at all. He never sees inside his own lab, so he never gets to read that book. Even if Hope's Peak was real, his memories of it would have been just as wiped as everyone else's, and he never gets exposed to that one Flashback Light.

#danganronpa v3 #danganronpa v3 spoilers #reply #thanks for the ask!#don't worry about flooding; i am happy to talk about anything if you're being respectful about it #Anonymous

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jtq1844 · 5 years

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Monday -- a change in plans

The plan had been: leave Grand Junction early, have a coffee with some friends-of-friends in Glenwood Springs -- which as a little Baha’i history associated with it, drive up to the youth camp at Winter Park to get an evening workshop/concert. Once that got cancelled, I begged an extra night from Pat -- She so graciously obliged -- and rescheduled the Glenwood Springs coffee for Tuesday. I had time to be a tourist. First off, a couple who hadn’t made it to the barbecue talk the evening before wanted to get together for a chat and to buy a quilt (actually two of them) after seeing them posted on Facebook by a young woman from the night before who had quickly got the word and pictures out to the community at large.

So coffee with Jean, Pam and John was on. The banter was immediate. Pam eventually had to leave for a rendezvous with her granddaughter, so John gave me the Grand Junction nickel tour. John and I continued our banter as we walked into a book store. I bought some used audio-books for the long stretches of driving ahead as well as a couple of books that I had actually been looking for. I also bought some locally produced corn meal for my gluten-sensitive baker daughter. As we eventually said our goodbyes, I was seized with the idea that I should explain that I had a small budget for gifts for certain people and personal expenses, and that their purchase of the quilts was for gas money only. John smiled and admitted that my purchases looked a little cavalier. Then we talked a little longer about the pitfalls of being judgmental. It was really an important conversation to have. I believe both of us will be more mindful about the subject in the future.

I went to the Colorado Museum of the West in the center of GJ and had a long conversation with the woman at the desk. One of the stories she offered was that she had a young man in her acquaintance that truly believed in the ancient aliens theory of the building certain structures in the ancient world. This young man was of mixed race. She truly worried about his deep belief in a theory born out of racism. Her happy conclusion was that she is pretty sure he understood her explanation.

I also wondered about the exhibits and climbed that tower for the view of the entire valley. Next on the agenda was “The Trail Through Time,” a short hike around some dinosaur bones with an observation area for the arduous work of excavating them from their millions of years old earthly encasement. It was back near the Utah border. It was hot and dusty. I had to take the word of the posted diagrams to “see” the vertebrae in the stone. I walked further up the path to find the next part behind gate that had been locked. The excavation pits had a day off; it was a Monday after all. I sat down on one of the rough rocks to say my prayers, and couldn’t help but ponder the Persian study of Majnun and Layli. Majnun has lost his love Layli and so searches for her in the sand, the wind, the rocks. Layli, however, is pure spirit. Why do we look for the eternal, the ineffable, the divine in the finite, definable, and mundane? But dinosaur bones aren’t like that. The slow, painstaking work with a fine paintbrush and refined awl is thousands of manhours for each moment a conclusion can be reached. What makes that worth the effort? Is there a good enough return on any of our everyday obsessions to make it worth our while? (Okay, so Layli and Majnun were already on my mind because one of the few audiobooks I physically had in the car was called "One Common Faith." It is so good; everyone should read it at least once, particularly if one wants an intellectual overview on the Baha'i Faith in this early part of the 21st century. Anyway, the Majnun/Layli metaphor is mentioned there. The motivation behind our acts, however mundane, can hold a key into our whole purpose of life was a major chunk of the talk I had given last night. So that was already on my mind as well. One of the people whom I was to meet with in Glenwood Springs had made the trip to Grand Junction the evening before -- just for the fun of meeting new people -- texted me while I was adventurizing that she was stuck in line at the grocery thinking about that particular part of the talk to choose which virtue she was getting to practice at that moment. Yay, synchronicities! Huzzah for the little confirmation that my talk had meaning for someone.)

The evening was spent with an extended family originally from the Marshall Islands (some had been in Colorado for decades, except for those who just arrived a few months ago) who had recently opened their home to house some new friends who had been suddenly evicted a few days before. After an evening of singing and talking, we exchanged hugs and gifts. Theirs is a home of Generosity, Humility, Joy and Compassion. Whenever I contemplate such attributes of God, I will see them as human examples as those who really get it.

PS Pam chose the Japanese textile themed one and the traditional 8-point star baby quilt. The former was dubbed ”exactly right” for a guest room.

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canvaswolfdoll · 5 years

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CanvasWatches: Dragon Pilot: Hisone and Masotan

Not going to do a Summer 2018 write up because I only lasted through one anime, and Chio’s School Road had… issues I don’t feel like discussing.

Also, haven’t had time to continue the Digimon Rewatch (which is exclusive to the Patreon until I finish season one).

Doesn’t mean I’ve been slacking! Netflix’s most recent license camping for it’s tedious binge watch format is Dragon Pilot: Hisone and Masotan, which was a delight to watch! Go watch it, right now! Do it!

Anyways, time for my… whatever this thing is... on it.

Hisone is a woman who joined the airforce because, near as I can tell, she didn’t have any other ideas for what to put on her school’s career plan worksheet that shows up in every anime, and she saw a fighter plane soar by.

There’s… worse motivations, I guess?

Anyways, while working a desk job, she’s invited to an interview at a far away hangar.

She goes to the hangar and is promptly eaten by a dragon.

But it’s okay! The dragon just wanted to eat her old flip phone! And the crew got her thrown up pretty quick! And now they want her to pilot the dragon.

By getting swallowed and controlling the thing but prodding its soft innards.

Anime

So, Dragons are a thing that exist, and the world governments have been helping hiding them because… that’s the deal they made? Anyways, Japan hides their dragons as fighter planes, and has their air force manage them.

Because we need to explain this bizarre premise somehow.

Dragons are selective about who they will swallow and not digest, and Hisone is one of those lucky few. So she’s a D-Pilot now, which is probably a promotion from her ill-defined desk job.

Also, now she has to put up with Nao Kaizaki, initially the only member of Gifu Base’s D-Pi program, and a woman who couldn’t get the dragon to swallow her, so her position is more theoretical.

Kaizaki is introduced exhibiting the mannerisms of your typical High School Thug boy character, so you know she’ll be interesting.[1]

Hisone’s superior officer, Remi Kakiyasu, was also once a candidate for dragon piloting who couldn’t get the dragon to accept her. So the entire program is kind of low on practical experience.

Then there’s the woman selling yogurt who is clearly important, but it’ll take a few episodes for yogurt woman to reveal her purpose.

So Kaizaki and Kakiyasu train Hisone up as she comes to grips with her new responsibilities.

Hisone finds a plaque embedded in the dragon to learn his name is Masotan.

And so, the title is complete.

Then three more pilots fly in in episode 4, and the main plot starts to meander in a direction.

Let’s meet the other three team members!

Elle Hoshino: Enlisted to become the first female fighter pilot, and is displeased to have been placed on the OTF (Organic Transformed Flier) program instead. So her dragon, F-2/Norma, refuses to leave it’s plane form to please its partner. Eventually Elle comes around and loosens up. She’s fine.

Mayumi Hitomi: A matronly shaped pilot. She’s soft-hearted and soft spoken. Flies a large, goofy looking dragon named Futomomo. She’s fine.

Lilico Kinutsugai: Winner of the Canvas’s ‘Wait, I want more’ award, Lilico is a shut-in with a wry sense of humor and love of manga. Her dragon is the samurai-looking Akemi. Lilico is also apparently asexual, something I wish they’d given space to explore a little more.

She could’ve been my favorite pilot,[2] but the show didn’t commit enough.

So the pilots are placed through a couple adventures to become friends as the creepy Iboshi (some vaguely defined government guy) watches and plots.

Iboshi is the closest thing the series has to a villain, despite it being more of a Man vs. Nature affair. He possesses a callous disregard for the people of the D-Pi program, focused on the looming Ritual the D-Pi are needed for.

This cold-naturedness made me dislike him, but also allows the series to run relationship drama in a really interesting direction.

Because, guess what? If the D-Pi fall in love, the dragons will instinctively reject them. And they need the D-Pi to keep the Dragons healthy, and also escort a giant dragon to ensure it doesn’t destroy Japan in its wake! Oh dear. This frames the ‘will-they, won’t-they’ of Hisone and Haruto of the maintenance team into an major conflict with dramatic consequences and justifies a dumb ‘misunderstanding’ plot with one of the other D-Pi.

This shows builds a very grounded, mature, and compelling view on romance, and I am super game for it. And super down to sing its praises.

I’ve found that the sweet spot for making me care about a romance plot isn’t tsundere antics, or fear, or dumb misunderstandings, because there’s nothing I crave in my media more than emotional honesty.

No, the slow burn I crave is sheer ignorance. It takes several episodes for Hisone to understand she may have feelings for Haruto beyond friendship, then more for her to actually accept and admit her feelings to herself, then the fantasy takes over to prevent a tedious ‘Oh, will you two just talk’ subplot, because Hisone can no longer do her job lest she get digested by her dragon! So the conflict of “How does Hisone deal with her feelings” becomes augmented to “How does Hisone do her freaking job now!?”

The answer, seemingly, is just have a level head on the topic: Mayumi Hitomi also has plenty of ship teases with another character, but never is at risk of being eaten. It doesn’t get examined, because Hitomi’s ability to just kind of… casually acknowledge it and not let the Doki-Dokis mess up her stride doesn’t draw attention.

And because Hitomi’s resolution to the conflict eventually comes down to “I don’t want to abandon anyone ever” means her love for Haruto[4] is just added to the pile of things Hitomi is just anxiously passionate about, in equal measures to her love of flying Masoton, and that seems to work out.

Which, I guess means the secret to flying the dragon’s isn’t a creepy expectation of a pure heart, Iboshi, but emotional maturity.

Which brings us to the jerky, playboy wannabe breaking Elle’s heart. Like a monster.

Take note, writers: this is the first time ‘I broke your heart to protect/save you!’ has ever been successfully executed without one or both parties catching a case of the stupids! Watch this and learn!

So, early in the series, we meet Yutaka Zaito, a wannabe womanizer who has no success, but maintains his illusion of charisma nevertheless. Then he meets Elle, whose serious attitude and cold shoulder grabs his attention, and he suddenly abandons his swarm and tries to, gently, ingratiate himself to Elle, who gradually warms up to him.

It’s nice.

But then the whole ‘Dragon digests those with unsteady hearts’ plot point happens, and Elle is in a position where she can’t even fly her dragon, sending her ambitions even further away. And she hasn’t realized it’s Zaito causing her heart flutters.

But Zaito, upon learning the situation, does understand. And knows that it’s either him or Elle’s career.

So, he turns up the creep, approaches Elle, and proposes a friends-with-benefits arrangement, claiming not to want a serious relationship, and subtly mocks Elle’s dragon rejection. This breaks Elle’s heart, of course, but resolves the matter. She can fly Norma again, and Zaito is left to bite his tongue and let his crush pursue her best life.

The sequence is well executed. It’s a misunderstanding perpetuated intentionally, knowingly, and selflessly by one party, and exists for reasons beyond ‘Neh, let’s have some dumb romance drama now’. Zaito knows what he’s giving up, but still breaks Elle’s heart because she legitimately needs him to so she can pursue her dreams. There’s no other timely way.

On the other end, the show introduces Natsume,[5] a childhood friend of Haruto, who comes in to be Hisone’s rival!

Except Hisone is too oblivious and all-loving to care, and Haruto is straight disinterested in Natsume. And Natsume is a shallow Tsundere and lacks any appealing characterization. They could’ve given her role to Nao, who desperately needs something to do in the later half of the series, or, better yet, just have Haruto be the human sacrifice.

“But you need a girl for the sacrificial beauty role!”

Okay.

Make Haruto a girl.

“Are you proposing the show suddenly swerve into Yuri?”

I mean, Yogurt lady’s backstory is literally a Tragic WWII-era Yuri love story.[6]

Sada Hinomoto shows up selling yogurt and being charming and mysterious so you know there’s something deeper going on.

Turns out, she’s the last D-Pi from the last time they did the ritual, so she actually has proper experience to teach the new kids, and, oh yeah, she hates Iboshi, resents the entire procedure, and carries a lot of trauma from when her friend Yae was chosen to be the human sacrifice last time, and though the show doesn’t spell it out, the intimate blocking and their schemes to flee to Paris paints a super clear picture about what that relationship was about and, gosh dangit, is she one cool grandma.

All she wants to to get back to the giant dragon to find closure with what happened to Yae and force an alternate solution.

Fortunately, Hisone is just the sort of loveable goofball to find an alternate to the Giant Dragon’s bedtime snack!

So there’s another reason why Hisone’s love interest should’ve been a girl.[8]

Now, practically this could’ve been accomplished a couple of ways: gender flip Haruto, cut Haruto and use Nao, pr combine characters. Point is, no matter how you do it, this hypothetical female love interest is now the human sacrifice for Mitatsu-sama.

With this change, there is a new parallel drawn between Hisone and Hinomoto,[9] further underlines Hisone’s tendency toward heartfelt dedication to unconventional methods, and Hisone’s desire for saving the sacrifice changes from an impersonal “Human sacrifices are wrong”[10] to “Human sacrifices are wrong, and also screw you I love that girl!”

And if that girl had Tsundere tendencies (like Nao or Natsume), that’d make the pairing even cuter.

Also, points for the entire D-Pi team unambiguously disbelieving Hisone’s ambiguous fate at the end. It’s fun to see such trope-awareness.[11]

In conclusion: Dragon Pilot is super adorable and sincere, the premise is quintessential anime, and it’s just fun. Sure, most of the characters deserve more depth and exploration, but that’s always my complaint and it’s only a 12-episode series. Plus, it very good at portraying mature characters without stooping into immature means.

And it’s really cementing my love of BONES as a studio.[12] I need to put more effort into seeking out their work.

So go watch it.

Thanks for reading my review! These do tend towards inconsistent release, but they’re fun to do. Consider checking out my other reviews, essays, and the rarer original work. I’m also nearing the end of my Muffin Comics experiment, so catch those while you can! If you really like what I’m outputting, I’ve got a Patreon, set on a monthly schedule so you know what you’re committing to.[13]

Next time: a Netflix Original of a magical tone! (And hopefully more Digimon)

Kataal kataal

[1] At least, that’s the hope. Gets dashed once the other D-Pi arrive on base and Kaizaki slips out of the spotlight. [2] The title goes to Hisone herself.[3] [3] Anyone else have troubles saying the main character/romantic lead are their favorite? Like it’s too easy an answer or something? Because I do. [4] All these H names are raising the hackles of my Mug Rule… [5] Presumably so they can localize Harvest Moon games. [6] Which means we were this close to a Yuri anime not about assaulting high schoolers and creepy family dynamics,[7] but one about Dragons pretending to be a spitfire and historical context and and light-hearted comedy and I honestly would trade this show for that and I love Hisone & Maston! [7] Citrus did not sit well with Canvas. [8] Canvas’s full tilt idea, by the way, is to combine Haruto, Nao, and Natsume. Condense characters and keep them all relevant longer. [9] Way too many H names. [10] Not that Hisone being a goofy all-loving hero isn’t super endearing. [11] Though it’d be nice to know what Hisone and Masoton were doing. Had Hisone ejected out of the dragon at any point during the… months(?) long time jump? [12] Wolf’s Rain notwithstanding. [13] Not going to lie, nothing deflects me from lending support quicker than a ‘Per Update’ schedule.

#CanvasWatches #dragon pilot #anime #CanvasReviews

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dynamitekrp · 4 years

Photo

SEARCHING FOR HYUN . . .

PUBLIC PROFILE

birthday: september 22, 1993 years trained: 4 position: main rap

CAREER

2015, produced butterfly for icarus 2017, produced wine for a solo artist 2019, produced we don’t talk together for a solo artist 2020, produced black swan for icarus

IMAGE

hyun is icarus’s rock.

he is: rough around the edges.

they tell him not to lose his daegu accent, not entirely. to let it slip on purpose more often than not. to not let people forget that he's just a country boy at heart who had a dream, a passion for music and risked it all by coming to seoul to pursue it. they say not to censor himself too much, either, let a cuss word or two slip every now and then, let his face betray all his emotions sometimes, even negative ones when he's annoyed or angry or confused or sad. if you're feeling down, post some thoughts on the fan café, maybe go live. obviously, they say not to do it too much or at the wrong time, but just enough to give off the feeling that he's genuine, unpolished, not some cookie cutter idol. he won't be relatable by any means, but real. believably flawed like anyone else. just a daegu boy who happens to rap because he wants to.

he is: stubborn. or, in nicer terms, strong-willed. immovable.

of course, icarus as a whole stands for hard work making the dream work, but hyun’s inherent stubbornness is played up just that much more. like when they tell him to talk about how long he takes to produce tracks sometimes because he won't let it go until it's exactly how he imagined it. or to talk about how he couldn't dance worth a damn and almost got kicked out of the tentative lineup, but, well, look at him now. he still can't quite dance anywhere near as well as the rest of the group, but that's fine, they say. that's all part of it too, because now his ability to follow choreography as well as he can is the product of pure hard work with no natural talent to back it up.

he is: foundation.

when it comes to icarus's music (post 2015), hyun is a large part of the foundation it lies upon. he's not the only one, of course, but he is often the one they turn to when questions about their music come up. about the concept. about the lyrics. about the meaning behind it all and the process with which they came up with it. they tell him to go all out, go ahead and answer with technical terms to show he has a deep understanding. show the people that he knows what he's talking about, what he’s doing. that icarus's music is good because "of course, the members helped write the lyrics" or "of course, the members helped produce it" or "as expected of self-producing icarus~"

he is: well grounded.

with hyun, what you see is what you get. he is confident sometimes veering on cocky, he is decisive often veering stubborn. he is real, genuine, flawed, human, just with a particularly strong passion for music. at least, that's the vibe they want him to give off. a real, serious musician.

it's a precarious image, to say the least, still manufactured in its supposed genuineness. an image he has trouble balancing because sometimes he's not quite sure anymore where icarus hyun ends and moon hyun begins

if he begins anywhere at all anymore.

BACKGROUND

when hyun was born, it was the day the samsung lions advance to the playoffs. his father was no where to be found in the hospital room, instead sitting in the arena of the game.

it’s perhaps unsurprising, then, that his life had been decided for him the moment his parents found out he was a boy. his father, a failed baseball player that never could hit a ball as much as he could talk it, pushed his dreams onto hyun the second he walked into the hospital room hours after his birth. he arrived with a signed baseball in hand, calling it a lucky charm.

one year later during his doljabi, hyun grabbed that same ball without hesitation.

the smile on his father’s face that day was the widest it’s ever been, even maybe to this day.

from that point forward, he was determined. every story he told him at night to get hyun to sleep was a baseball one, every toy he got him was either a ball or a toy bat or mitt, every present a samsung lion piece of merch. the moment hyun was able to run consistently, he put a bat in his hands and taught him how to swing it. when hyun was able to think a little more, he taught him how to throw a ball and they’d play catch in the park until his mom had to come drag them home. when he was old enough, he had him join a local tee ball team and baseball became all he knew.

hyun loved it.

on his own accord, he played it endlessly, trained as much as he could, threw pitches at a tattered target pad hooked onto a chain linked fence well into the evening until he was dragged to bed kicking and screaming. he progressed steadily as a promising pitcher, from tee ball to school teams to local daegu youth teams. the coaches would say his future looked bright if he kept at it, and so he did. he kept it up. he pitched and pitched until there was an ache in his shoulder. then he continued pitching through it with gritted teeth and zipped lips when the coaches would ask him if he was alright when his basic fastballs started veering off line.

he kept pitching, stubborn as ever, until physically he could not anymore.

hyun didn’t know he had a labrum or what it was, much less that he could tear it when the doctor told him what was causing the pain. all he heard was that he should take a break from baseball for a few months. a few months too long, if you asked him. but even now hyun’s not sure what was worse: the shattering of his dreams or the look of disappointment on his father’s face.

at thirteen years old, as he was going through many other changes at the same time, all of it was just a little too much. maybe, hyun sometimes thinks, if his father didn’t look so disappointed that day and didn’t speak to him substantially during his rest, maybe he would’ve picked a ball up again after those few months were up and he was cleared. maybe.

but instead, he found music and picked up a mic instead.

he found rap in particular. because the anger in some of it matched his mood, the fire in the verses burned as hot as his head. rap music became his solace, his comfort, his replacement for throwing frustrations out in a fastball clanging against the fence.

as years went by, it became less and less of a replacement and more of a true passion, much to his father’s dismay. they’d gone from attending baseball games together to arguing at the drop of a hat over even the smallest things. he channeled all that anger and frustration of a young teen into beats he mixed on whatever free programs and equipment he could get his hands on. just as he pitched and pitched and pitched, he produced and produced and produced. one mp3 file after the other, all rough beats saved across multiple folders on his computer.

and it was with one of those beats and a scribbled down verse that he auditioned for view.

he had been 15 going on 16 at the time, not expecting much. after the tear, he gave up on dreaming. on looking forward to anything. it had been a friend that told him about the audition and teased him into going just for shits and giggles, and really he did not expect the call. he missed it, even, listening to the voicemail they left a whole day later with a blank expression on his face.

his dad had a similar one when he told his parents about it, but instead of holding a hidden sparkle of hope, it held the same disappointment from that day at the doctor’s. it took a week before he signed it, and within a few days time after, he was out of his little corner in daegu and right in the heart of seoul.

it was jarring, to say the least. to go from a little city in the outskirts of daegu, to a bustling one in the capital. and to go from producing and rapping daily as a fun hobby, to training daily in other fields he had no experience in. dancing was particularly hard for him, a phantom ache in his shoulder imagined by his brain always present. but he chugged along, because maybe he had found a dream again. maybe it was okay to hope.

he continued to hope as the years went on and he made it onto the tentative lineup, staying steady with only one brief slip up when he injured the same shoulder. it had been even more painful this second time, despite the injury itself being much smaller, because it felt like his new dream being crushed by his old one. like salt poured into the reopened wound. he almost quit, again, until he was snapped back into it from another member, something his father never did.

it was with that in mind that he pushed on. and on, and on. until icarus debuted and he was at the forefront.

that meant nothing in the beginning, of course, considering how lackluster their entrance into the scene was. if anything, it made him feel more burdened. his phantom aches came back and insomnia swept him into a vicious cycle of exhaustion and doubt and the slow fade of hope more painful than the first.

before their comeback in 2015, he’d reached his lowest point. wondering if he’d made the right choice, or if he’d wasted his youth away for an unsure thing. after all, everyone knows only a small percent of idol groups break through it all. but, maybe on pure survival mode alone, he pushed through once more. he rapped about being destroyed, and needing someone, and the sun shined on icarus. it enticed him, them, to fly closer and closer.

and so they did. to heights he never would have imagined possible. to heights that made it scary to look down. to heights that felt more burdensome with every new year and every new pair of eyes watching, waiting, expecting. now, he is exhausted. to say the least. he’s been running on two hours of sleep since the moment he signed his life to view.

he is exhausted, but he is prideful, too.

it’s a difficult thing to balance. the pressure and the pride. they both nibble at his brain, infusing him with worries that maybe, it was better to be at the bottom. because at least from there, the only way to go was up. but also at the top, his name is being recognized. produced by hyun. featuring hyun. and isn’t that all he ever wanted? whether on the back of jerseys or in small print in the credits of albums, his name immortalized across the country?

sometimes, he doesn’t know anymore what it is he wants. all he knows is underneath all the pride he wears on his sleeve, there are worries deep rooted that he’ll never live up to expectations.

#dyn.min yoongi #dyn.icarus #dyn.app

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cxramel-cat · 5 years

Text

POSSESSION - chapter 08

Chapt. 01 ◾ Chapt. 02 ◾ Chapt. 03 ◾ Chapt. 04 ◾ Chapt. 05 ◾ Chapt. 06 ◾ Chapt. 07

Other links: AO3 | Wattpad

( INJUSTICE: GOD AMONG US VERSE ) 「one minute one life change one decision one action 」 ────────── ❝ Why? ❞

The question wavered through Kal’s mind. He threw away the corpse he was holding. His attention settled on the boy who had witnessed his every action. His original plan was to kill the young Bruce Wayne from existing in the future. Joe Chill was making Kal’s job easier. The man was going to do the dirty work for him.

He could change things back, to the way they were supposed to be. No deaths. No betrayal. No Batman.

Mature Content: Wet dream.

He was trapped on the bed. Paralyzed. Kal glanced over his cuffed wrist. His eyes narrowed as he shot a laser beam against the metal. The heat did nothing to the cuff. No matter how much he pulled, he couldn't get his hands free.

"Surprised, Superman?"

There was the sudden addition of weight onto his abdomen. Kal shifted his attention away from the cuffs he was still yanking at, and towards the figure in front of him. His eyes widened in surprise at seeing the person who straddled him.

Bruce Wayne.

However, he looked younger than Kal remembered. Younger than Kal could ever remember him being. The streaks of silver hair were gone. The wrinkles at the corners of his eyes were gone. He looked full of energy and strangely joyful. It almost seemed as if he had never lost his parents, as if he'd grown up to become the complete opposite of the man Kal knew.

Bruce leaned down. He trailed his tongue over the line of Kal's neck before he suckled sharply at a spot. A stiff moan left Kal's lungs. The human's hips moved. His bottom ground against Kal's crotch with purpose, creating friction. As much as Kal wished he could push Bruce off him— despite his prone and vulnerable position, the friction raised his arousal.

Fingers suddenly dipped to the front of Kal's trunks and tugged them down.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kal growled in warning when there was no response.

"Shh," Bruce whispered against his ear. Hot palms ran up Kal's thighs. Long fingers gently wrapped around the base of Kal's cock and stroked him once. Again. Again.

Though he fought the urge, soon enough Kal's chest began to rise and fall with his repressed breaths.

"Just enjoy this, Superman." Bruce dipped down, stray strands of gelled hair falling across his forehead, ends brushing his shoulders, framing a slender neck. His lips trailed over the veins of Kal's cock gently, caused Kal to shiver. Once he'd teased enough— once Kal's flesh had quickened under the forgotten sensation, Bruce opened his mouth and took the head of Kal's cock in. The human sounded delighted by the preemptive gasp from Kal and the long, guttural moan after.

Kal shuddered. It felt incredible. Nothing hurt. It was just pure pleasure— Hot, wet and amazing.

He gazed down, over his chest and abdomen and the black thatch of his pubic hair. He was met with the sight of Bruce's piercing eyes; bright, cold blue watching him with intensity. Bruce's mouth was full and busy. But those seductive eyes watched his every moment— Every twitch, every bitten lip. Every vain attempt at holding back, staving off. The slow sucking was all-consuming. Passionate and wonderful and—

Too much for Kal.

"Don't resist." Again Bruce wrapped— elegant, delicious— fingers around his wet member, stroking it to release. "Call my name, Superman. I know you want to."

"Bruce!" he cried out. "I'm going to— Ngggh !"

★

Kal jolted up from the bed. He was breathless, sweating and... wet.

Gingerly, he looked down and saw the spreading, moist spot on his sheets.

"Damn it..." He groaned.

A wet dream! He hadn't had one of those for years. He was an adult, not some horny teenager who couldn't control their hormones! And was that really Bruce in his dream? Seriously?!

He couldn't glance over at the child who slept next to him. He was disgusted at how easily he'd just fantasized about the boy's adult self.

Kal ran his hand through his hair in exasperation. He needed to clean himself up before Bruce woke in the morning. If the boy saw the visibly darkened patch on his jeans, he wouldn't know how to answer nor explain to the eight year old about his strange dream.

Still, why the hell was he dreaming about Batman, of all people?

It pissed him off. His first wet dream in years, and it was Bruce Batman-Wayne who had to be the star character out of all of the people he knew.

Seriously, dreaming of a guy, and that guy in particular? He wasn't even gay! Why would he have an erotic dream about a man?

Kal could only hope that the dream would end up being one of those dreams that faded away, only to be forgotten by sunrise.

He couldn't catch another glimpse of sleep that night. Unfortunately for him, the dream remained permanent in his mind— accompanying him throughout the night and making things extremely awkward whenever he looked over at the boy who slept next to him.

He wasn't a pedophile. Kal was confident about that. He didn't feel sexually attracted towards the child. To any children.

Yes, he may have dreamed of doing something dirty with the child's older self. He may have put his dream-self in a position where it was impossible to refuse the object of his lust. But Kal knew he cared and loved his little Bruce wholeheartedly, and in a strictly platonic way.

For now. He ignored that thought, buried it. He was over-tired. He didn't... Of course he didn't mean that.

The child gave him hope in humanity. Kal had also promised a bright future for him, and saw one for himself in the exchange. He allowed Kal to look forward to every day, watching Bruce slowly grow up. To grow into a fine soldier. The perfect soldier .

"Kal?"

He snapped out of his stupor at Bruce's call. Looking up from his meal, he feigned a smile for the boy. "What is it, kiddo?"

"You haven't touched your omelette. Are you not hungry?"

"Well... kind of." Kal glanced down, realizing he had been in deep thoughts to the point that he'd forgotten to savour the homemade omelette cooked by Alfred. He could barely remember tasting it. "Do you want extra? I could give you mine."

"Really? Thanks, Kal!" Bruce gave him a bright grin as he stuffed another spoonful of eggs into his mouth. Kal felt relieved when he saw Bruce smile. Relief... It always unnerved him. He brushed his hand through Bruce's hair gently and felt the warmth swelling within him.

My Bruce.

He wanted to give as much as he could to Bruce, just to see that smile. He wanted to give Bruce freedom from the life he might have in the future. He wanted Bruce to be free from the fate of his life: miserable, inferior, and alone. The life of a thief, a criminal, an assassin. The life of violence.

The life of a liar.

"Kal-El."

Upon seeing Diana standing on the doorway, Kal's smile curled down and flattened. Ever since their last conversation, which had ended with him rejecting her from his bed, they had been in an awkward middle-zone. They no longer shared any intimate moments. Her tone when she spoke with him was indifferent, borderline insubordinate. They had kept a distance between themselves, neither making a move to soften the wall of ice.

It wasn't a break up . They were just having a cool down period, tired of each other for now.

"Sorry to interrupt your meal." Her eyes glanced over at the simple fare set on the table.

Bruce, noticing her gaze turning towards him, looked down at his meal and avoided any eye-contact with her. He didn't like her. She always acted like she disliked him and wanted him to stay out of her way as far as possible. She always seemed to be quietly threatening him. Her gaze was cold and unfriendly. And the words she'd said about Bruce on the first day he'd arrived in this place were still fresh wounds in his mind.

"Nightwing is awaiting you in your office, Lord Kal."

So what's supposed to come is finally coming. Kal glanced over at the large clear windows. He hadn't expected the time to come this soon. He was well-prepared though, for anything the teen might decide to throw at him.

"Tell him I will be there in three minutes." Diana nodded at his request and walked out. Not another sentence was exchanged between both of them.

"Bruce, I am going to leave for a while. I'll be back real quick." He caressed Bruce's left cheek, tilting the child from looking down firmly at his meal. He knew how much Diana had scared the boy during his first day around here. "Remember our promise? If something happens, just call my name."

Bruce hesitated a little, but he nodded. "Okay." He stuck out his pinky finger at Kal. "Pinky promise?"

Kal chuckled as he tugged on the tiny finger with his. "Pinky promise."

★

When he arrived in his office, Damian sat on the corner of his desk, staring out at the view of Earth in front of him. The teen had always been a stubborn one. He held very little respect towards others, even Kal himself. However, Kal usually didn't mind when the teen didn't bite more than he should.

"I heard you brought in a kid," Damian mused. "Black hair, blue eyes. Sounded familiar, like someone I know."

"I found him on the sidewalk." Kal leaned back against his seat. His expression was indifferent. His tone stoic. "His parents died in a gun shooting. I decided to take him in, since he has potential. There are the makings of a good soldier in him." He didn't try to lie to the teen. He knew how sharp Damian was. Like the saying went: like father, like son.

Kal decided leaving out several pertinent parts of the story was better than trying to think up a brand new story and risk being caught in the light.

"Potential?" Damian's raised an eyebrow in curiosity. He leaned forward towards the older man— a little too close for Kal's comfort. But Kal saw how the thin line of the teen's lips slowly curled down to a deep scowl. "I call bullshit, Superman."

Nightwing knew he wouldn't stand a chance against Kal. All the same, his hands found their way towards the older man's collar as he pulled Kal towards him. Kal allowed it, amused to see where this was headed. The green eyes framed by the mask were filled with anger as Damian clenched his teeth."You think you can make a fool out of me? Everyone in the Regime is talking about how the almighty Superman kidnapped an orphan from the past! Everyone is talking about how you're turning insane and messing up the timestream! He's manipulating you , as usual! Your ways of thinking are being clouded by him!"

At the beginning of Damian's rant, Kal's eyes widened. Then, very quickly, his eyes narrowed down to a firm glare.

How dare they talk behind his back? Any of them! How dare they doubt his dedication in securing a safe world for humans?

"You won't be able to hide him from me forever, Superman. I know he is somewhere around here. And I will find him! I will skin that little runt alive by myself! Not even you— a Kryptonian, could stop me!"

This was the last draw. The teen had bitten off more than he could chew. Kal grasped Damian's wrists. With a quick movement, he twisted the human's hands and slammed him against the wall.

"I dare you." Kal growled low under his throat. "If you dared to touch him— even just a single strand of his hair — I will rip your head off and send it back to your father to show what a worthless piece of garbage his son was!"

"He had ruined you!" The threat didn't frighten the teen. If anything, it made Damian even more furious. It was confirmation of how much a carbon copy of his father from the past had managed to cloud the thoughts of Kal. "Look at yourself, Superman! What do you think you look like in the eyes of others? You look like a desperate, pathetic and sad excuse for living!"

"Enough!" Kal tightened his grip. The teen hissed out in pain as he felt his bones threatening to crack under Kal's hold. "Out of my sight! NOW ! Don't make me do what I just vowed, Damian. And if you attempt to even hurt him in the slightest..."

Kal withdrew slightly. His eyes glowed red. His jaw clenched.

Before Damian's mind could process what was happening, the burning spread, sizzling all along the nerves of his right hand. He roared in pain and sucked in a mouthful of air. The air smelled of burned flesh.

"I will make sure you regret being born on this world. Don't make yourself more useless than you already have."

★

With a bit of difficulty, he managed to squeeze the damp cloth in his grip until it was dry. With a bloody, numb right hand, it was terrifyingly hard to use his strength as much as he wanted. The plastic bowl of water next to him turned red as he dipped his hand into the water. With a hiss, Damian pulled his hand out and wiped the wound clean of blood.

Kal had set this punishment as a warning to him. The burn wasn't too serious. It was a mild in his experience— only a second degree burn. It wasn't enough, he wasn't weak enough, for him to need being sent to the infirmary.

After he rubbed some antibiotic ointment on the wound, Damian leaned back against the wall and sighed loudly. This was the first time Kal had hurt him. Oh, he'd threatened before, but...

Damian was loyal , and he'd taken it for granted that Kal knew this fact. Normally, no matter how he managed to anger the man due to his behaviour, Kal would only shoot a glare at him. Nothing more.

Now, for the sake of a weak, worthless human child— who happened to be his father — Kal had attacked him. His wrists were bruised, his back suffering, a deep ache in his bones and spine and heart from the impact of wall and super strength. It was like the entire issue of 'favored child' replaying itself again.

Once he'd been replaced by Dick Grayson. There is no way Damian would let his own father replace him in his new home.

★

He grabbed a handful of the mugger's hair, slamming the man face-first into the brick wall. The criminal screamed as he crumpled at Damian's feet. The small pleasures of bone crushing and the scream of pain wasn't enough to relieve Damian's anger. Without mercy, the teen grabbed the man up by his throat, in one hand. The criminal was starting to struggle again. His legs kicked out in panic. A hard fist punched into his jugular and the man fell limp. His breathing was laboured. Blood poured sluggishly from both nostrils.

It wasn't enough. Even if the burned wound from two hours ago was aching and bleeding, let it. Damian didn't care. His eyes were clouded, his emotions all he could see. He couldn't hear the pleas of the criminal.

He deserves this. For what he tried to do to an innocent old lady.

Just like Father. He deserves to die. He deserves to suffer for disowning me.

How dare he appear and ruin my perfect life now?

How dare he?

With a snarl of frustration, Damian punched one last time. The body lay limp on the ground. Damian wasn't sure if he had beaten the man to death or not. He didn't care. Kal hadn't set an idiotic rule of 'no killing' to him. Kal didn't mind him killing.

For the greater good.

He sensed the presence of someone approaching him. He would never forget the familiar, clanking sound of those heavy boots. He would never forget the familiar rhythm of those footsteps.

"What have you done?"

How long has it been since he heard that voice? Months? Or possibly years? He didn't remember. He didn't want to.

"Doing what you couldn't." Damian didn't bother to turn around.

He didn't want to see Batman's face. Looking at himself in the mirror every morning and seeing the spitting image of his father had been enough of a torture. He used to hate his mother's' eyes, staring coldly, always judging him from still reflections. Now, everyday he woke up hating having a face which held so much resemblance to his father. Every morning, he wished he could scratch off his face just to appear different than the father who didn't care for him. Who had abandoned him.

"This isn't right, Damian."

How many times had he heard this? The disappointment Father held towards him. Damian knew; if he turned around right now, he would be met with the gaze of disapproval, disgust and dissatisfaction from Father.

He didn't need this. Not when Father valued a dead corpse more than him.

"I don't need you to tell me what's right and what's not!" Whipping out his escrima sticks, he flung himself at his father. Batman instantly jumped away from the attack. Damian gave him no time to counter-attack as he drove at Batman with the desire to kill.

A gust of wind came from Damian's escrima sticks and he slammed them into Bruce's back like a sharp blade. Batman coughed out roughly as he stumbled. However, it took him only seconds to recover from the blow. He turned to glare at the younger.

Damian clicked his tongue angrily— the hit hadn't been enough to take down his father. In desperation, he aimed at the most fragile part of his father's body— the head.

Bruce moved before Damian could attack. He moved fluidly into a backwards somersault, came up too close. Inside Damian's reach, deflected furious blows with a dismissive glare. Batman stepped in, brushed the escrima sticks aside like twigs, and slammed Damian's face against the nearest wall.

"Enough is enough, Damian!" Batman growled out. He did not wish to fight his child. Even if he had disowned him, a part of Bruce— a large part, still cared for this boy. He was too young, and he was making a big mistake in his life. As much as Bruce wished he could convince his son to walk on the right road, he knew it was almost impossible now due to Kal's meddling and the boy's own stubbornness.

Why was Damian a split version of himself? Why must his son inherit all of his worst traits?

In the moment he was about to cuff Damian, he noticed the strong scent of blood among with the strange dampness of Damian's right glove.

"What is this?" He didn't bother to wait for the teen to reply. Instead, he held Damian's right wrist in a tight grip and pulled away his glove. When the bloody hand appeared, Batman's eyes widened.

"Let go!" Damian tried to pull his arm away. His lack of energy after having two fights in a row allowed him to appear more fragile than he'd ever wanted to in front of his father.

"Who did this to you?" Bruce demanded. His voice filled with anger. His eyes were wild. "Kal?"

"Why do you care?" Damian owed him no answers. His voice slowly grew shaky. "All along, you have only cared for Grayson! Grayson this, Grayson that . When have you ever looked at me as me? At least he is more of a father to me than you were!"

It was an ugly truth. Damian pushed Bruce away. He wanted to leave here. As soon as possible. Now.

He walked, almost ran away, vainly trying to pull the glove back over his shameful injury. He couldn't do this right now. Not when Bruce was showing concern, acting as if he cared. As if he hurt , as if he had ever showed hurt when Damian was hurt.

But he has... he did, didn't he? Damian ignored the small voice— it got easier with practice each day.

It was too much. His will was crumbling. He couldn't let Father see him broken and fragile.

This man was his enemy.

"Damian!" Bruce called out. The teen didn't answer. Bruce knew he was listening. "Damian, if it was ever too much to handle, you know you could always stop! There is still hope!"

"It's too late." His voice was breaking now, as he turned back to gaze at his father. "The day you lost Grayson was the same day you broke our bond, Father. You were always clouded by your own emotions. You never realize how hurtful your words are. Or how your actions could hurt me." He took a deep inhale, clearing his throat to make sure his voice was scraped of all emotion.

"I know, Batman. I wasn't the son you wanted. However, I am the son my mother wished for. And for that, I am proud."

To be continued.

#superbat #Superman x Batman #Fanfiction: Possession

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joiemckean2847-blog · 6 years

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Dragon Fantasy Schedule I Interview.

Utilizing this manual for The Lego Movie Videogame, you will certainly be able to locate cheat codes, unlock new personalities, discover antiques like pants, gold direction web pages/ guide, fireworks, birds, gold bars, red blocks, studs, signboards, unlock achievements/trophies, find techniques to earn studs a lot faster as well as a lot more. And I will mention this even though I were actually examining the video game on PC, because, seriously, the activity performs its own best to work with whatever you do through food selection choices. If you seek slow, strong winding beauty, the walk in the sun-filled landscape and also the sparkle from direct sunlight off ice-covered trees, this might be your book. Feeling in one's bones that due to the fact that these two were 6 and 9 years of ages they were bonded as well as visiting wind up in love made the anticipation for that happening really wonderful in my thoughts. 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I consistently checked out pre getting as a strategy to get an activity and you get on a spending plan. If you have any kind of inquiries relating to where and how you can utilize made a post, you can call us at the web site. Along with many of also the greatest Virtual Reality activities being bite-sized, Individual Misery 7: Biohazard is a stroll, even when that's a simultaneously dreadful one. Okay, so this upgrade isn't purely related to season 7 ... but Martin's long-awaited story ought to provide followers along with some intriguing ideas into where the set is actually going generally. Nomura included that though the await the activity will be actually a bit longer" he is actually planning to show the progression progress at an event someplace" which proposes another E3 discussion. The following major landmark would be actually the finalization of a usable demonstration - a demo that will be actually launched along with one more KCEJ video game in progression, Zone from the Enders. First off, I need to say exactly how ecstatic I am that I found your terrific blog. Among the absolute most notable recording locations are Downhill Fiber, a seven-mile coastline ignored through Mussenden Temple, which is actually gone to by Stannis Baratheon as well as his often striped friend Melisandre (for the evening is complete as well as dark from fears"), the oft-photographed Dark Hedges, a spectacular assortment from beech trees that line a road near Stranocum, County Antrim, and the little seaside community from Ballintoy, which ends up being Pyke, principal city from The Iron Islands, in Game of Thrones. Showing along with video games (game-based learning) is an arising tool for motivational and also engagement knowing in recovery locations, in institutions, daycare, as well as in learning disability education class. Podeswa, that has guided pair of episodes of Game of Thrones as well as is actually expected to reins a lot more in period 6, was actually communicating at a contest in Fox Studios Australia. It's certainly not other, that's simply click on lure and a person at @t video games aiming to piggy back Nintendo's good idea.

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urbansadfitters-blog · 7 years

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Dear Lana,

Today I went on a walk. Which willingly is a first. The steps in my house are usually enough exercise for me. But that’s beside the point. Walking in my small college town there’s literally anywhere you can walk to and get there within 20-30 mins if you’re determined. So I walked extra slow and made a few loops. As your fifth album made its way from my earphones into my mind. I found myself locked in a feeling of joy and excitement.

I started my journey walking past pine needles and old firework wraps on the ground from two weeks ago. The first few minutes walking I felt as if a mother figure, who’s known me all my life was reciting and comforting me to stay confident and “Don’t worry, baby.” This just help reassures me that Love really is the only pure thing in the world. There was a strong sound of a revving motorcycle and my mood increased. Walking, I could feel myself leaving the sad and dark feelings I’ve ever had behind me (you can’t see behind you anyways so why not forget the past). And physically heading towards a shining yellow light. Walking towards a Lust for Life. Making me a “Master of our own faith, the captain of our own souls.”

This walk became one of my best decisions of the day, being an introvert by nature. I accepted this with the opening of 13 Beaches when I feel it was confirmed. “I just don’t belong in the world, that’s what it is. Something separates me from other people.” The easiest way I could describe this is the feeling you get when you purposely exiled and separate yourself from others for time alone.

The mood of Cherry came on (yup) and it made me want to move my body (yup). This reminded me of all the things we do that we know aren’t good for us. This reminded me of the voice and thoughts in your head. The small thoughts that are constantly criticizing if this is right? Should I do this? Is this letter too personal? (fuck)

In this daydream of a world and tangible mindset I had become a part of. White Mustang put me even more at ease. I felt even though I couldn’t see the birds above, I could hear their whistles. This rollercoaster of emotions reminded me of the Born to Die era. To me, Summer Bummer was Summertime Sadness’ trap cousin from the other side of town. She was the cousin who edgy and bossy, “Wrap you up in my daisy chains.” Her obvious destructive past has a first impression on people she meets. Even A$AP admits, “Her sophistication makes you want to quit the bitch you dating.” The closest thing to compare this to is the black heart iphone emoji. Even when she paints a vivid image in your mind of three colors… white lines, black beaches, and blood red sangrias. Groupie Love brought me back to the first late night at Bonnaroo when I met a musician from Nashville. And becoming so bewitched by the idea of being around him. Talking all night, laying together and watching the sunrise. “This is the life, you by my side.” Reflecting back on this weekend. This made me come to terms with being okay with the feelings I secured for him. It also helped me realize he enjoyed the idea of me being invested “And every time you look up. I know what you’re thinking of.” I started to get In My Feelings from my previous thoughts. Another imperious and empowering song that reads the patterns of my mind.

Coachella-Woodstock in My Mind started to play next. The most inspiring thing I got from this tale was “Around their little heads, I said a prayer for a third time.” This paints you in the role of an angelic godmother giving three wishes. Halfway through I looked over to my right walking down a hill and saw my neighbor outside smoking a cigarette with her dog near, named Lana too. As I walked passed and looked over. Not only the dog’s eyes were following me, but also her ears standing tall as if she could also hear the music I was playing through my earphones. I quickly threw up a quick peace sign at my neighbor and Lana out of respect and acknowledgment. The message God Bless America- And All the Beautiful Women In It gave me want to celebrate the beauty of diversity in our current chaotic nation. I haven’t felt too patriotic like this in awhile. The reasoning behind my cold shoulder to this nation was explained in When The World Was At War We Kept Dancing. This alluded to the recent fact with all the negativity and violence happening in the world. To keep yourself protected in the good things you know. Not knowing when or if the violence will ever end.

As I began to walk up another hill and reached the top Beautiful People Beautiful Problems came on. The first thing I saw looking up on the hill up was the sky “Blue in the color of the planet from the view above” and as I shifted my weight back walking down my to avoid running at top speed. My face and attention were all now focused on the summertime green grass. “Green is the planet of the eyes of the turtle dove.” This song kindly reminded me with comfort never to forget the rough times. “Beautiful problems, God knows we’ve got them.” And that life’s challenges are universal to everyone. Hands down it instantly put me in a happy place with everyone’s flaws. Making everyone equal and charming for the things that make them different.

I finally arrived home before dusk. Just as Tomorrow Never Came came on. And laid in bed with my shoes still on, sweat lines coming down from my forehead and shoulders. As if I was just “In the middle of the pouring rain.” I stared dead at my tapestry in front of my bed for the entirety of the song. Glimpsing over at the poster of you every time I heard the words “tiny dancer.” Sean’s alluring and familiar-sounding voice and yours flowed so nicely together. This song which I would declare as more of a story, easily made my top 3 of the whole album. I broke out of my trance after to open a bag of peanut butter M&Ms. As small waves of the breeze from my open window came in and cooled my face. So did the words of Heroin. Which brought me back to the Ultraviolence era. The voice that drags your heart down into a deep pit and makes you addicted to the feeling that we all know from 2014 captured me again. As dark and beautiful as this song goes, it gave endless chills.

I drifted off for a few seconds but opened back up my eyes. I look over out my window. As the sun was setting I couldn’t see anything but barely the top of trees and the clouds in the sky. As I watched the clouds (one of my favorite past times). The clouds to my eyes formed what looked like a long haired person lifting up another person. Which made me grin for a few seconds. And slowly I saw the clouds Change and shift themselves into something I just concluded to be a half unicorn-seahorse looking thing.

It wasn’t until the promise to Get Free came on that I finally removed my shoes. This “Commitment. My modern manifesto” became a promise to oneself to always look on the bright side and stay optimistic. “I want to get off, but I keep riding the ride.” Just shows sometimes were comfortable with being in a rut (as your previous music agrees). But the want to be happy and “Out of the black, into the blue” keeps you moving forward.

Sometimes I find it difficult to possess the natural ability to express how I feel. But music has become one way to assisting and fitting my moods. And to be reminded that artists like you exist to help makes me appreciative. Your music puts me in my element. Ever since I first started listening a few years ago.This album pushed me to be wishful, nostalgic, peaceful and much more. And I can’t stop smiling, this has snagged a place in my heart. The message you give to the audience makes us LUST FOR LIFE.

Lana, this record is a treasure.

Thank you,

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mrandyzavala · 7 years

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Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days: Part 1

There are a number of causes of Bad Days At Work, even for a seemingly glamorous job like a zookeeper.

Okay, please tell me why it's okay to refer to septic systems as honey pots (hint: "irony" is not an acceptable answer)

The general public probably thinks our bad days entail at least one of the following components:

Poop

Getting a light sunburn

Animal deaths

Not getting licked (or whatever behavioral sign of affection innate to the animal in your care) enough

But really, the only item on that list that really makes a horrendous day is #3, which is not what I am going to focus on in today’s blog.

No, I am going to focus on those really horrible, no good, bad days that pop up out of nowhere and rain chaos and sorrow DESPITE nobody being really sick or dying.

*raises hand*

In fact, let’s revisit a list of potential Bad Day contributors. I would like to amend it slighty. Bad Days for me consist of:

Getting poop directly in facial orifices (yes, I had to specify)

Scuba diving in three feet of stagnant water that is filled with dolphin poop and algae and has not been filtered or otherwise moved in THREE DAYS OH GOD I AM ALREADY BARFING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

Lip sunburn. It’s a thing. And it’s a thing that haunts your every meal for months

Animal deaths, obviously :(

Getting bitten, fluked, charged, or taken on a lengthy Tour Of The Underwater Drains by a sea mammal larger and smarter than me

Fire ants.

Fire ants trapped in my bathing suit

Being in relatively unsafe conditions, like getting wrapped in a net underwater that resulted in someone’s finger being pulled off

Bringing a really dumb lunch

The list goes on.

Sad, sad little lunch

But one of the the worst non-animal-related days of my animal career was at the very beginning. And I'm writing about it now, because I think you'll get a laugh, AND I am no longer in the field, AND I am pretty sure the statute of limitations will cover any unintentionally illegal component of this story.

This day was the day I Almost Killed A Bunch Of People With Scuba Tanks.

When I was at my first place of employment, I had the pleasure of wielding a “pickup truck” during fish delivery in the mornings. I say wielding because to use the verb “drive” in this context is entirely misleading. Also, this vehicle was, in a previous life (roughly 29 zillion years ago) a pickup truck. By the time I encountered it, it was basically a pile of rusted metal on four-ish wheels that ran on Black Magic and an engine trying to die .

Oh! Here it is!

My department was responsible for removing frozen flats of fish from the thaw room and delivering it to every marine mammal department in the park. This meant loading thousands of pounds of frozen fish into the bed of this Death Truck and somehow, through consistent religious practice, getting it to move from points A to B to C and D without losing too many parts and/or lives.

Because this event happened early in the morning before the park opened, and it was not operated on any actual roads, the task of handling the truck was done with light-hearted humor and a mixture of terror that you would get thrown into the steering wheel because the driver seat did not actually fix into one position. It slid forwards and backwards with little outside force, but I was not a physicist and figured this was an old truck and/or a poltergeist was involved.

We oft joked about what it would be like to drive The Truck on the real road. Yes, the driver seat slid like a rowing machine. Yes, there were no side view mirrors. The breaks didn't always work when you thought they would (such as when you hit the break pedal). The engine made a noise akin to a wolverine being skinned alive but generally did what you asked it too, like drive 5 mph. I mean, I think it was 5mph, because the speedometer didn't work. But the best part about this glorious vehicle was its tail gate fell off when it met with force from three or more atoms moving against any part of it.

Yeah. If you sold five of these fish house trucks, you still couldn't afford a footlong sub at Subway.

The tail gate issue was not a huge deal during fish truck delivery, because you drove really slowly with the fish boxes piled in the back. But we all wondered, what would happen if you drove this truck at highway speed?

And then, I found out.

My then-boss asked me to take empty scuba cylinders to a dive shop a few minutes away from the aquarium, and then return with several filled ones. They asked me to do this with a coworker of mine (who shall herein be referred to as Famous Coworker, since he knew every celebrity and was on the Real World several years later) , who had been at the part roughly 8 months longer than me and had done this before.

Long story short, when we asked 1) how many tanks we were to be transporting and 2) HOW we would get them there, we were met with these answers (in corresponding order):

I don’t know, maybe 10?

The fish house truck

…

Oh, but they were.

We both stood in stunned silence. This was not the type of workplace where you could easily share your grievances, but we figured we heard wrong. Surely, there must be another truck. One that is fit for highway travel. One that has an speedometer or something.

Nope, nope, nope. It was The Truck. And they saw no reason not to take it, they just said to drive it slow (the highway we needed to take was…um, a highway). Plus, they reasoned, it wasn't very far.

Famous Coworker offered to drive his new truck, since it had enough room. No, no, our boss insisted. The fish truck was fine, they used it last week for this purpose and everything was fine. Just DO IT.

Now I know what you reasonable people are thinking. WHY, oh WHY didn't you just assert yourselves? Why would you voluntarily get into such a terrible Death Car knowing that it was a huge safety risk? I can only say, I was 22, terrified of most management, and believed I wouldn't knowingly be asked to do something really unsafe.

So off Famous Coworker and I go, to pick up the tanks. We chuckled while pooing our pants the first time the tail gate fell off at the security booth as we loaded up the tanks. We had nothing to secure them with, but were instructed by senior staff to just stack them “real tight” in the bed of the truck. We had just the right number to wedge them into a sort of pyramid (the tanks were on their sides, because you know, for safety), and we were given a few cinder blocks to keep them in place, just to be Extra Safe.

This is slightly more safe than what we had going for us

I had to drive (another long story), so I drove at about 7mm per hour (yes, millimeters) through the parking lot. My heart was pounding in my chest as I turned out of the parking lot onto the busy highway that would take us to the dive shop. I would’ve put the hazards on, because I was driving so slowly and was just convinced at any minute, the tail gate would fall off. But you know, those hazard lights didn’t work! What an adventure!

However, we made it to the dive shop a couple of miles away without any drama. We unloaded the empties, and began grabbing the full tanks. We realized quickly that there were a different number of tanks we would be bringing back…which meant they would not fit tightly together in the bed of the truck. Famous Coworker and I worked hard to figure out how to secure the tanks, but at least three of them would roll around a little between cinder blocks. Still, the dive shop worker told us we should just drive “kinda slow” but that we would be okay.

A visual mantra for marine mammal trainers everywhere

So we get into the truck. I slowly make a wide loop in the dive shop parking lot, preparing for a left-hand turn onto a highway which has a 45mph speed limit but a common speed of roughly E=MC2. I figured that if something bad was going to happen, it would happen in that turn. I gripped the steering wheel tightly, bracing myself for the front seat to do its slidey thing and praying that the brakes would work if I needed. I took a deep breath, eased my foot onto the accelerator, turned the steering wheel and….

...........

….turned successfully (albeit very, very slowly) onto the highway. I drove maddeningly slow back to the aquarium, all without incident. Then, I saw the turn lane back into the aquarium parking lot up ahead. I wanted to get into the left left earlier than I normally would, because I didn't want to make any sudden stops or accelerate too quickly if I waited too long to make the turn. I especially didn't want to bust a U.

I got into the left lane, silently apologizing to the cars that would quickly approach me and probably curse me and several generations of my family for operating a vehicle at speeds that are almost legally allowable for justifiable homicide.

We were inching along, the turn lane now in sight, and

****Trigger warning for Dive Safety Officers: you will have a heart attack if you read any further*******

FINAL WARNING

BAM BAM THE TRUCK LURCHES UP AND DOWN AND I AM SLIDING IN MY SEAT AND MORE LOUD NOISES AND NOW THE HONKING OF CARS THAT ARE NOT ME

I LOOK IN MY SIDE VIEW MIRRORS EXCEPT WHOOPS THEY ARE NOT THERE

SO I LOOK IN MY REAR VIEW MIRROR AND AND AND AND

THERE. ON THE ROAD? THE TAIL GATE. IT IS SLIDING ON THE ROAD AND SPARKS ARE FLYING

OH ALSO THERE ARE SCUBA TANKS ROLLING AROUND AND BOUNCING OVER SIX LANES OF TRAFFIC

OH ALSO THERE ARE CARS VEERING AROUND THE TANKS.

Swearing is necessary for this

The tanks are scattered and bouncing and rolling everywhere and I start to stop right where I am but before the car stops Famous Coworker lets out this banshee death scream and he is out the door running across a HIGHWAY towards these bouncing, FULL scuba tanks, and he is still screaming and I am also screaming and I am pretty sure someone is going to die.

I get out of the car and yell some swear words as I run towards some tanks, running on pure adrenaline and stupidity, and help Famous Coworker pick them up, help reattach the tail gate (we had had plenty of practice with that) and then we get back into the truck and stare at each other.

“We are going to get fired,” Famous Coworker said.

I don't even remember what I said, if anything. I was pissed. I was terrified. We could’ve killed someone.

As I pull into the park, I see one of the park operations managers standing near the back entrance, waving us down, red in the face. He yelled at us for spilling scuba tanks on the highway. I yelled at him for not having a proper vehicle to pick up tanks, like actually YELLED, and then I drove away before he could speak.

Arnold gets it

We unloaded the tanks, several of them hissing now, trying to alert whoever (??) would be in charge of making sure they didn't explode. I unloaded my anger and fear to everyone I could find, boss or not, unable to contain myself. The only response I really remember was hearing from another senior person that they were surprised I was allowed to take the fish house truck on the highway, because the same thing happened to other trainers a few weeks ago, but it happened to them in a parking lot.

This was the first time in my life I totally understood the phrase “spitting mad”. I was pissed at myself for not standing up for what I KNEW was a bad idea. I was pissed at my bosses, and their bosses. I literally could not do anything except breathe occasionally and wonder why, in this heightened state of ire, I was literally producing 39 times the amount of saliva I normally do. Swallowing was the only task I could focus on, because otherwise I would’ve just drooled all over myself which made me think people might not take me seriously and/or would just have me euthanized.

SURE IS

The experience was definitely a lesson learned; safety takes priority, no matter how intimidated you are ( if the intimation is real, OR if it’s just in your head). I am really relieved that nobody was hurt, and that I was lucky enough to just take away from it a crazy story and a life lesson. And also I have somehow avoided prison.

from The Middle Flipper http://ift.tt/2eFqW9f

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