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beanghostprincess · 1 month

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Sanuso with vampire Sanji not only has "I'll do what you can't do and you do what I can't do", but also "I'll feed you and you feed me"

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod-

I love this. So much.

So I am not the biggest fan of writing Vampires AUs. I LOVE reading them but I don't think it's my style of writing?? So I never do. But-- But THIS??? Changing my life, honestly. Considering things. Thinking thoughts.

And it's extremely easy to make a plot for this!!!!!! The Vinsmokes are a family of vampires but Sanji is the only human thanks to Sora. Etc etc etc. Wano happens. Don't ask me WHAT happens but SOMETHING happens and Sanji starts slowly turning into a vampire. Worst time of his life for a variety of reasons (from not feeling human to being scared of hurting others and also all the bad things that come with being a vampire. Except for the sun thing because. Well. I want him to be able to be under the sun. Let's just say he's a mix between Vampire and Human).

It'd be so good to see Sanji starving because he refuses to drink blood and he wants to hide this from the rest of the crew. But Usopp inevitably finds out, of course, and he offers his blood to Sanji. And I am. Losing it because now I want to write a super homoerotic bloody scene in which Sanji is refusing to drink Usopp's blood because he doesn't trust himself but Usopp won't stop walking closer and closer to him saying that if he doesn't trust himself it's fine because he trusts him instead... And he says the whole "You cook for us all the time, so it's just fair. You feed me, and I'll feed you. Now drink before you are the first vampire to die out of stubbornness" thing.

I mean, vampires are like. Inherently romantic and erotic so this is just. Woah. Having a million thoughts. I need a MOMENT.

Also??????? Usopp being THE Vampire Hunter™ of the crew??? Imagine Thriller Bark Usopp x Vampire Sanji I am LOSING IT. Brain isn't braining. Maybe I die.

Putting aside the obvious nasty emotional bloody sex these two would have, Usopp would be,, So sweet to Sanji. Because he absolutely hates his situation and he isn't sure if he is ready to tell the others yet. Usopp is always offering him his blood and staying with him when he can't sleep and-- Adding little bat Sanji here??? Can Sanji turn into a bat??? Please yes yes. I want little bat Sanji to be the cutest thing and Usopp just. Loving him. His little bat boyfriend 😭 Usopp knows so many fun facts about bats while Sanji is like. So angry at first bc he has to learn how to change back and fly KJEJFJEFEKDJFNWLEKFNW They're so silly.

When Sanji doesn't feel human Usopp is always there to remind him that he is still himself after all. And Sanji is always scared of hurting him but also-- Have you considered Sanji only turning into a bat bc Usopp is even clingier with him then and he gets pats from his boyfriend? And he's always being so gentle with him too.

They mean the world to me!!!!!!!!!!! Vampire AUs my beloved!!!!!!!

#THEY'RE AJHHWDJQWJKDNQKJWDNQWDNQWDNQLWKN #i want to write this #ANON I HATE YOU YOU GAVE ME INSPIRATION TO WRITE AND I HAVE SO MANY WIPS ALREADY #jk i love you for this #also the whole aesthetic looks so good on them #okay but sanji making actual dishes with usopp's blood then what #and he tastes other blood like. once. bc chopper has them just in case they need a transfusion. and they don't taste as good as usopp's #the power of love makes blood tastier #i know nothing abt vampires actually just cliché stuff but i love this #one piece #black leg sanji #usopp #sanuso #ask-bean!

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theverybestpencilsoftuscaloosa · 3 years

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May I Have You For Dinner?

My second story for OP Bingo 2020, hosted by @op-pirate-fleet. Is it low-quality Hannibal pastiche? No, it’s high-grade Hannibal pastiche. I wrote it in two hours after seeing the first two episodes of Hannibal before I knew Hannibal actually had a castle. Is it funny? At this point, I don’t know. I did work all nine Straw Hats in there, though, which is actually much harder to do than you’d think, especially in a comedic cannibal fic. God, WHY DID I DECIDE TO WRITE CANNIBAL FANFICTION? In three years when I get into fandom drama this is gonna be the one that gets my ass. AO3 link here.

“Excuse me,” said Usopp. “Do you think I could have a sandwich?”

“Pardon me?”

Usopp swallowed. “No, I mean, I’m sure you’re a great cook, but, well, um -- I just have this disease I actually got from a swarm of vicious mosquitoes, and if I have any dish with a red sauce I’ll--”

“You cannot have a sandwich,” snapped the host, Count De Lisces. Usopp quailed, and nodded quickly.

“Right! Right! Of course! I’ll just, uh, enjoy this meal! Yum yum! Yummy!” And he began picking at the vegetables without intent.

Sanji’s frown deepened, and he glared at the count. That was no way to treat a dinner guest. He could sympathize with not wanting to waste food, of course, but he could make an exception if the diner was clearly not going to eat it anyway. And from the way he was tucking in, their host would have no trouble polishing off another serving of -- Sanji looked down -- ...pork. With red sauce.

Sanji shot Usopp a look and mouthed I’ll fix something up when we get back to the ship. Then he cleared his throat, catching their host’s attention. “Count,” he said evenly, “this is a very interesting preparation. What did you say your secret was again?”

The count grinned. “The thing, you see, is to marinate the meat well. After seventy-two hours, you create a flavor so deep, so sublime --”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Count De Lisces blinked. For a second his mouth worked silently before he managed to spit out an “Excuse me?”

“You don’t marinate anything for three days. It’d start falling apart.” Sanji poked the uncarved slice of meat on his plate. “Honestly, do you even know how to cook?

The count’s eyes flicked from his plate to Sanji’s face. “Look,” he began, and stopped. “It’s an old family…” he trailed off. He closed his eyes for a second, collecting himself, and began again. “Why don’t we just -- what on earth are you doing?!”

Nami and Zoro turned, halfway to the ornate liquor cabinet. Zoro held up the empty bottle. “Refill.”

The count reddened. “That-- that was a seventy-nine year old vintage! That wine was an heirloom! And you finished it?”

“Yeah,” Zoro said at the same time as Nami clasped her hands together.

“Your Excellency,” she said in a syrupy-sweet voice, “we were only trying to be good guests. If we don’t sample your wines, how can we compliment you on the range and profile of your good tastes?”

“This is a place of decency,” said the count in a low, dangerous, tolling tone. “For years and years my castle, my island, has been a place of culture. A place of class! Sit down and eat your food and stop ruining the ambience!”

Franky cracked open a bottle of cola on his nose.

“Hey,” he said between gulps of carbonated sugar water, “where’s Robin?” Beside him, Chopper was examining his own untouched meal with forensic care.

“Sanji,” Chopper said, urgency in his voice. “Do you recognize this cut of pork?”

“No,” Sanji growled, “I don’t.” His hand closed around the knife reflexively, and he had to force it to open. He settled for pulling a cigarette from his pocket and lighting up. Unforgivably bad manners in most fine dining situations? Sure. In these conditions, though, he didn’t particularly care. And he was enjoying the look on Count De Lisces’ face.

“Luffy,” he said after a long pull. “What do you think?” Luffy looked up from his plate. It, too, was untouched. That about did it, Sanji thought. There was no reason Luffy wouldn’t clean his plate unless something was seriously wrong.

“It smells weird,” he said. “And this guy’s weird.”

“Hey!” squawked the count. Luffy turned to him, brow furrowed.

“What did you say your name was again?”

A smile spread across their host’s face like a bloodstain on a fine white tablecloth. He stood slowly, drawing himself up to his full height, savoring the moment like the finest of wines -- one his irritating guests couldn’t sample. “Count De Lisces,” he said slowly. “Count Yannibal De Lisces.” He bit each syllable off, and let them fall into the spreading silence.

“Oh!” Said Brook. “How funny! Your name rhymes with cannibal! Yohohoho-- that’s not really a skull joke, is it?”

“So this guy--” Sanji began.

“Cannibal,” said Usopp, shivering so hard the word came out with three Cs and five Bs.

“This is people?” Said Luffy, pointing at his plate. Chopper nodded. Sanji stood so fast his chair went flying, raising one leg to lash out, but Yannibal’s hand was raised.

“Ah-ah-ah,” he said slowly. “Not so fast, Mister Know-It-All-About-Marinades. You’re forgetting someone, aren’t you?”

Sanji’s breath caught in his chest, and he froze. “Robin.”

“Indeed!” Yannibal cackled. “That lovely dark-haired angel… where is she now, I wonder?”

Franky sat upright, knocking his plate to the ground. His left hand was already unhinged, revealing the wide dark mouth of the gun barrel beneath. He leveled it at Yannibal’s chest. “Where is she?”

“I have no way of knowing,” the count said. “She went wandering off, did she not? My castle is large and dark and full of… secrets. If she has delved too deeply, searched too ardently, she may not like what she has found. And I cannot guarantee no harm has come to her…” Sanji’s weight shifted, and Yannibal turned, clicking his tongue. “Mister Cook! No no no… indeed, her safety is not guaranteed. Indeed, a woman as… refined as her…” Yannibal’s eyes glazed over.

“What class. What taste. She is a cut above the rest of you, certainly. Perhaps I will be having her for dinner soon…” He focused on Sanji again. “Regardless, sir. I cannot guarantee her safety… but if you raise a hand to me, I can guarantee you will never see her again--”

“Excuse me,” said Robin from the doorway. “I’m back.” Sanji turned, hearts in his eyes.

“Dearest, lovely Robin! You’re safe! Oh, darling, thank goodness, I was so worried! You aren’t hurt, are you? Where have you been?”

“Ah,” Robin said. “I was gone some time, wasn’t I? I apologize. I was on my way back from the restroom when a small, strange man with facial deformities tried to knock me unconscious.”

“A-hem.”

Robin looked down. Standing by her hip, a small, strange man with facial deformities was scowling up at her, arms crossed. She smiled.

“My apologies. I meant to say a small, strange man with an interesting and unique face tried to knock me unconscious.” The small, strange man with the interesting and unique face smiled. It was a very interesting and unique smile.

“Is he… cool?” Franky said after a long moment of awkward silence.

“Oh, certainly,” said Robin.

“Cool,” said Franky. “We were figuring out if this guy’s a cannibal or not.”

“Oh, he’s definitely a cannibal,” said Robin. “He told me all about it.” She gestured to the small, strange man, who nodded vigorously. She smiled, and looked up at the Count De Lisces. “Your castle has a fascinating history, count. I was hoping to learn a little more about it from you. Such a shame it turned out to be written in blood.”

Sanji was a little more economical with his words: “I’m gonna beat the shit out of you, you no-good excuse for a cook!”

The count laughed, and stepped back. In the glow of the fire, his silhouette seemed to stretch, to warp, to grow. “Oh, you poor souls…” There was an edge to his voice, a hard, rough undertone that hadn’t been there before. “You think this story ends with you defeating the monster, emerging victorious?” The small, strange man shrank behind Robin.

“No… no, I’m afraid not. Tell me, did you know that of all the animals of the world, only one hunts man for sport… besides man, that is?” The count was definitely growing now, his shadow blocking out the roaring fire. “On a certain island in the South Blue, villagers began disappearing without a trace. They suspected slavers, pirates, but do you know what the true culprit was?”A growl ripped through the air.

“It was the hunter of the forest! The only true equal to man in his viciousness! The shadow of the night! And I have made its power my own!” Count Yannibal De Lisces stood in the firelight. Orange and black flickered over his skin, but the stripes ran deeper than the light of the fire. They were laid into his skin, and beneath them bulged rippling muscle packed onto a frame that dwarfed even Brook. “Witness the strength of the true apex predator, the top of the food chain! Cat-Cat Fruit, Model: Tiger! I will feast on your--”

“Yeah, okay,” said Sanji, and kicked him in the face. Count De Lisces went over backwards yowling.

“Now listen to me, Count,” said Sanji, stepping forward. “In my opinion, you’re a shitty host leaving the human meat aside. But cannibalism? Serving human flesh to your unsuspecting guests?” On either side of him, Luffy and Chopper stepped up, fists clenched. “Do you have any idea how --”

“--unethical--”

“--gross--”

“--unprofessional that is?”

The count leapt, but Sanji’s leg moved faster, sending the tiger-count crashing into the finely decorated wall. In the light of the fire, the ember of his cigarette burning, he looked positively demonic. He leaned down, the sound of Luffy’s knuckles cracking echoing behind him.

“Consider this a lesson in cookery.”

As the chaos started at the far end of the dining table, Robin walked over to Nami and Zoro, who were surrounded by empty bottles -- apparently, far fewer than Zoro was hoping for.

“This one?” He said, exasperated. Nami shook her head. “No! Don’t open anything more than seventy-five years old!”

“Yeah, it’s eighty-three years old, from a vineyard that hasn’t been shit for two centuries! No one’ll give you more than fifty, fifty-five thousand berries for it! You have pants that cost more than that!”

“My pants are none of your -- wait, how do you know what a good vintage is?”

“Which one of us spends more time in liquor stores?”

Robin snuck a bottle away from the squabbling pair and sat down next to Franky. She popped the cork, offered him a swig, and when he declined took a few deep gulps for herself. Brook helped her finish off the bottle, and along with a queasy-looking Usopp, the four sat in companionable silence and watched. Dinner had been ruined, but at least the show was nice.

Some time later, Sanji stepped back, panting. He took a long draw of his cigarette, and ashed it over the feebly moaning count. Luffy and Chopper, who had worn themselves out a bit earlier, watched from the table. Sanji straightened his tie.

“When preparing tiger--” He stopped. “Wait, no, fuck this, no one cooks tiger! And no one cooks people! No food-related metaphors for you, shithead!” And with a final kick, he turned away.

“So, uh, what are we going to do about this?” Usopp said. Everyone else looked at him. He looked back defensively. “I mean, I don’t think the marines are going to take him! What, are we going to kill him?”

“Well…” Sanj said slowly.

Robin cleared her throat. The Straw Hats turned to look. Behind her stood the small, strange man. Behind him stood another few dozen small, strange people.

“The count’s servants,” she said. “Apparently, they have some, ah, grievances. I’m sure they’d appreciate being left alone to… renegotiate the terms of their employment.” Sanji rubbed his chin. He walked over to the small, strange man and bent down.

“Look me in the eye,” he said. “No, both eyes. Oh, you-- your-- oh. Oh gosh. Okay, that’s fine. One eye is fine. Look,” he said, pushing past the pitfall, “this is important. Are you going to eat him?”

The small, strange man screwed up his face in disgust. Sanji looked him in the eye a second longer, then stood.

“Well, if you guys are okay with it…”

The Straw Hats left the castle of the Count of De Lisces behind, stumbling in the darkness (and, for some of them, drunkenness). They left with empty stomachs and arms full of old and expensive wines. When at last they arrived at the Sunny, Sanji went to the kitchen. Usopp was already swearing up and down that he’d never eat again, and he was pretty sure Zoro had drunk two or three dinners, but everyone else would need the calories. And Usopp would probably be hungry in an hour. He had an excellent cut in the fridge; he could fry it up and --

Sanji opened the walk-in and saw the meat he was thinking of. It was a prize-winning slab of pork shoulder. Sanji thought about it for a long time. Come on, he said to himself. You watched the butcher cut it off the pig yourself. It’s fine. Are you really going to let that stupid count go to your head?

Sanji threw it over the side anyway, although he felt a pang of guilt as ten pounds of pork vanished below the waves. Tonight, at least, he thought to himself, he would stick with fish.

#mine creation #one piece #opfic #opbingo2020 #the guy's name is pronounced delicious yeah #sorry to all my mutuals who aren't into one piece #which is... all my mutuals #whoopsie daisy #this is the bees' world and we're all just squatting on it anyway #are there other tags that need to go here?#oh yea #cannibalism #cannibalism tw

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piratetrafalguy · 7 years

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20 Years at Sea, Day 16 - Love

Title: Captain’s Love

Rating: T

Summary: You see, Luffy had this sneaky, endearing way of creeping into people’s hearts. Endearing, because he didn’t do it on purpose, or often didn’t seem to realize he’d done it all. Sneaky, because by the time his victims had realized it had happened, they were already too enamored to really care.

His crew mates, of course, are not immune.

Alternately: Just a few of the ways Luffy wormed his way into his crew’s hearts.

A/N: Gah, another late one... -_-’

(Read it on Ao3 here)

For Usopp, it was the first time Luffy had asked, “So, what happened next?”

At the time, the question had come seemingly out of nowhere - Luffy had only just plopped down beside him, after all, and that seemed like a weird way to start a conversation, even for the strange boy he’d just started calling captain.

When Usopp had said as much, Luffy had only frowned at him, as though Usopp was being the weird one, and then poked Usopp in the side. “After you defeated the leader of the giant beetle lord. What happened next?” he’d repeated, referencing the tall tale Usopp had been telling several hours ago, before they’d accidentally almost killed Zoro’s old bounty hunter friends.

Usopp had blinked at him stupidly, surprised Luffy hadn’t already forgotten about it. “T-that… didn’t actually happen, you know,” he’d said finally, staring down at the Merry’s railing so he wouldn’t have to keep facing the captain’s disturbingly wide and hopeful eyes. He’d never been in the habit of admitting his lies, but in that moment it had felt… wrong, somehow, to let Luffy believe otherwise.

“So?”

Usopp had startled, then, and looked up to find Luffy frowning at him again, head cocked and one finger up his nose.

“You… still want to hear it?” Usopp had asked hesitantly, a feeling he usually only associated with Kaya warming his chest.

Luffy had beamed. “Of course!” he’d exclaimed, before wrapping a rubbery arm around Usopp’s shoulders.

There would be other moments after that one, of course; smiles and laughter, bold proclamations, and a hand extended in forgiveness when Usopp still wasn’t sure he’d deserved it.

But for Usopp, that moment would always be remembered as the first.

~*~

For Franky, it was every time Luffy marveled at one of his inventions, sparkles literally dancing in front of his eyes.

“So cool!” he exclaimed, oohing and aahing over Franky’s newest upgrade - a shoulder cannon he did not, strictly speaking, have an actual use for yet, but was sure to be helpful sometime down the line. Probably.

“It’s a beam,” Franky explained, just to see Luffy’s jaw drop in excitement.

“A BEAM~!” Luffy shrieked, positively drooling in delight as the stars in his eyes starting shining even brighter.

“Okay, but was does the beam even do?” Sanji asked, with a skeptical expression both Robin and Nami were sharing.

“Who cares? It’s a BEAM!” Luffy cried, arms pumping in the air excitedly. “Franky, you are the COOLEST!”

It was not the first time Luffy had expressed the sentiment, but it was the absolute certainty that it wouldn’t be the last that made Franky break out into his “SUPER!” pose.

Because for Franky, it would always be his captain’s unbridled excitement.

~*~

Zoro didn’t know the exact moment it happened to him. More than likely, there wasn’t one; his and Luffy’s relationship had never been the same as the rest of their crew mates’, so it wouldn’t surprise Zoro if they were different in this regard, as well.

That being said, while Zoro couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment Luffy had started to worm his way into Zoro’s heart, he did know the exact moment he realized his captain had settled there.

The utter, heart-stopping panic Zoro had felt at seeing Kuma start to lift Luffy’s unconscious form had haunted him for far longer than the pain he’d agreed to take from his captain’s body ever had.

And if that surprising spike of emotion had meant setting aside his own dream for Luffy’s life... well.

Luffy would have done the same for him.

~*~

“She’s a good person.”

She hadn’t realized it then, but looking back, Robin was certain that that was when it had started. She hadn’t believed the words, then - still didn’t really now, if she was being truthful with herself - but they had still left a peculiar sensation of warmth in her chest, a feeling she hadn’t recognized at the time but could easily name now.

Certainly, there were several things that Luffy had said and done since that had shown the depth of his loyalty and care:

The casual way he showed physical affection, or when he would lay his head down on her lap for a nap when Sanji wasn’t around to shout at him for it.

How he seemed to consider her advice more than any other member of the crew bar Zoro.

“ROBIN!” and “Sogeking, shoot down that flag.”

But for Robin, those first few words - “She’s a good person” - would mark the first time she had ever felt love for her captain.

~*~

For Nami, it was the moment she had felt warm, worn straw touch her head.

Because she had understood the magnitude of Luffy entrusting her with his hat - his treasure. Even after everything that had happened directly after that moment - destroying Arlong Park, and bringing the person who’d taken so much from her to his knees - that one gesture would be the thing that stuck out.

Because after all she had done to him - after she’d lied to him, used him, and stolen from him - she’d still been entrusted with his treasure. He’d still trusted her.

You’re my friend, that one gesture had said. You’re my crew mate, and I won’t let anyone hurt you.

Not any more.

Nami had returned the gesture by promising to navigate him anywhere he wanted to go - and by also silently vowing to mend that stupid (precious) old hat whenever it was needed (which would end up being quite often on their long, dangerous journey).

She’d get him (and his hat) to Raftel if she had to strap him to her back and swim him there herself.

~*~

For Sanji, it was much more than jubilant cries of “Sanji! MEAT!”

It was the bright boy who didn’t laugh at his ridiculous dream of All Blue.

It was offhand remarks of “Sanji’s is better,” whenever they ate a dish that wasn’t cooked by Sanji but the rubbery captain recognized as something Sanji had served before.

It was smacking away fingers trying to sneak a bite when they thought Sanji wasn’t paying attention, and puppy-dog eyes demanding ‘pirate lunchboxes’.

It was a laughing boy proudly holding up his newest catch, followed by excited requests for Sanji to cook it.

It was steadfast loyalty, and a bloody, bruised face exclaiming, “It’s delicious!”

It was secret, knowing smirks in the middle of battle, orders that never needed voicing because Sanji could hear them without any words, and a bond much tighter than anything Sanji had had with the brothers he was related to by blood.

So, like Zoro, Sanji didn’t have a definitive moment he could point to and say, “That. That’s when that little shit snuck in.”

(“Sanji! Meat!” Luffy had cried that first day, making Sanji bite through his cigarette to hide his smile.)

All Sanji knew was that - even though he had long ago claimed it was only reserved for ladies (and cooking, and the All Blue) - there would always be a place in his heart for Luffy.

~*~

For Chopper, it was absolute acceptance...

(“But I’m a reindeer! And a monster!”

“Shut up! Let’s go!”)

...as well as unfailing confidence.

“I just don’t understand how you can let yourself get so hurt!” Chopper wailed, flailing his arms as he took in Luffy’s newest assortment of injuries.

Luffy laughed. “Cuz I know you’ll always just patch me right back up,” he said cheerfully, and patted Chopper on the head with his uninjured hand.

And maybe others would hear it as carelessness on Luffy’s part, or just another example of his devil-may-care attitude and reckless nature. But what Chopper heard was, ‘I know you can do it,’ and ‘I trust you, and I’ll always trust you in the future, too.’

“That doesn’t make me happy, you bastard~!”

‘I won’t let you down, Luffy!’

~*~

For Brook, it was the uproarious, uninhibited laughter.

Or, specifically, that first burst of laughter he’d heard from Luffy in the Sunny’s galley, after treating the Straw Hats to their very first skull joke.

Brook had been a bit worried at the time; it had been several decades since he’d been around people, after all, and the looks his soon-to-be crew mates had given him at the joke had not been promising. Except -

“Skull joke!” Luffy had parroted, before cackling like a hyena.

It had grown from there, with an upside-down face grinning at him from the top of a piano (“So… can I join your crew?” “Sure!”). With more laughs and bigger grins, and casual affection in the form of warm hugs uncaring of a sharp, angular body made entirely of bones.

Yes, Brook had lived a great many years, and seen and felt a great many things…

But none would compare to the way his heart had positively burst at the sight of his would-be captain laughing at one of his stupid skull jokes.

(Even if he didn’t have a heart to burst, yohohoho~!)

#20yearsatsea #20 years at sea #Day 16: Love #the straw hat pirates #one piece #one piece fanfiction #my fanfiction #monkey d. luffy #nami #tony tony chopper #usopp #sanji vinsmoke #roronoa zoro #nico robin #brook #franky #nakama #nakamaship

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