there r rarely any astro originals w actual good writing and gamers mangkuk is a prime example

(the tags got.... Long. feel free to not read)

TVGuide.com interview with Tom Ellis & Lauren German

When you look back at the first season of Lucifer, what evolutions and changes have surprised you the most? Tom Ellis: You start a show in Season 1, and you really have no idea where it's going to go. In the pilot script, Lucifer was a very irreverent character. He didn't seem to care about anything other than himself. It was just, f-- his dad and f-- everyone. He just doesn't care anymore. He's decided to do things his own way. When we shot the pilot, the relationship with Decker — it was apparent that it was something that was going to blossom. I don't think I'd really comprehended what a journey it would be, and how kind of less devilish Lucifer would become as he evolves and spends more time with humanity. Especially as he spends more time with the Detective, and what that brings out of him. Lauren German: You look back now, and Lucifer's been helping do such wonderful things with Chloe — helping get bad guys, and he helps her learn about herself. You would never think, even when you and I got the roles, that it would have turned into this very sentimental, caring friendship where there are feelings. Where this man, Lucifer, has just been more like an angel who has helped. Ellis: Ironically. German: Yeah, I know! I know. Not necessarily a fallen angel. Just a really great angel. Ellis: That's quite interesting — [the characters have] been like angels in each other's lives. We spent five years pulling the layers back, having a character that was very stoically one way, and then realizing — and seeing him realize — that there's much more to him than that. And that has been exposed by the Detective, basically. They are the most vulnerable when they're with each other. That's so interesting, because the Detective makes Lucifer vulnerable, physically, but they've made each other… Ellis: Emotionally vulnerable. German: Absolutely. Chloe Decker has undoubtedly influenced Lucifer to a great degree. But how do you think Chloe has changed as an individual, whether changed by Lucifer or just by circumstance? German: I feel like Chloe has become more tender and more OK, at this point, with being vulnerable emotionally, like Tom was just saying. I think that her and Dan probably had a great relationship, but there's nothing with anyone ever before [comparable to] what she feels with Lucifer. There's just such respect there. I think she's always in awe of how he helps people and how he helps her come out of her shell and feel things she hasn't really felt with anybody. There's a lot of love and respect there, and her vulnerability is more present than ever before — but that can often be the most intoxicating element in a relationship. Someone that keeps you on your toes can be thrilling. It can be a different level of love from the love she has for Trixie or for Dan. It's just this… you know… sad fireworks. [Both Ellis and German laugh] If you look at Chloe early on in the show's run, Chloe had quite a few defenses up. But then again, I'm not sure which character had more walls up. Ellis: Yeah, they both had walls up. But the weird thing with Lucifer was that he was very open with everybody about the fact he was the Devil, including with the Detective, but she wasn't having any of it. Actually that sort of played into their relationship because without that element, Lucifer is kind of nothing, he's stripped down to, "Well, what is it you see in me?" I think the interesting thing, for both of the characters' development, has been when the Detective found out he actually was the Devil at the end of Season 3. In a weird sort of way, that's like Lucifer's biggest fear — that she actually found out. He assumed at the beginning of Season 4 that she had disappeared and that's it. You know, no one wants to know the Devil. And the knowledge that she left put him in metaphorical hell. Ellis: Yeah, he was in a personal hell about that. That's why it was so disappointing when we got canceled [by Fox]. It was like, we just got to the [midpoint of the story], and I wondered what the second half of the story was going to be. [That revelation] laid down challenges for our characters. The fact that she knows he's the Devil and she suddenly has to forget all these things about science and logic — all the things that made her the person that she is — she's able to see through that, and still see the man beyond that. And that is quite an amazing and humbling experience for Lucifer. I started watching it thinking it was a charming, fun, witty show. But it's turned into this sweeping love story. Did you expect to go in this epic romance direction? German: I didn't. I never projected it feeling this genuine. The fact that Lucifer and Chloe have never been together or dated — when that happens in life with someone, we've all been there, where you may want to be with someone but for whatever reason, you can't. If you love the person and they're still in your life, it forces you to get to know them better and love them in a different way than maybe just a physical way. So I think, luckily, through our trials and tribulations, Chloe and Lucifer have been forced to get to know each other in a way that brings so much more depth to the friendship and the love and the respect. [The fact that we've gone down that path] for so long — it just feels like it means so much. As opposed to maybe in Season 2 or something, if we just started dating — then it becomes about that. This feels so tender and precious and beautiful because it's been kept at arm's length a bit. I love that. It's almost like, when it comes to their relationship, there's a hesitance to plunge fully in, because what if you break it? German: Yeah. Ellis: Yeah. That is a lot of how Lucifer feels. When we find ourselves in Season 5, he's in a place where he is acknowledging all these things — but for him, that is terrifying, because what if, like he has done many times in the past, what if he messes all that up? Like that one time he got exiled from Heaven. That's a bit scarring, right? Ellis: Exactly! Completely scarring. Weirdly, as someone who presents as supremely confident, he's actually his biggest doubter. Especially when it comes to something like this, because this is new territory. All these feelings that he's been exposed to and is feeling — he doesn't know what to do with them, because that's not his safe place. He's been seemingly happy to just do what he wants and say what he wants. But actually, when it comes down to it, he's as vulnerable as everybody else when it comes to sharing your emotions with someone. Going back to your question, when you start off with a pilot script, for me first thing that was appealing was the fun of the character and the relationship of these two and the fact that you've got someone whom he doesn't affect in the same way as everybody else. That was the conceit to start with. Knowing where that was going to go and knowing it's going to turn into this big epic love saga — I don't think either of us really comprehended that. Because the other thing about when you're approaching pilots, you're kind of led to believe [the shorthand description] — "This is a medical drama," "This is a procedural cop drama," and so forth. When people were trying to shoehorn this into one of those soundbites in the early days, it would have been easy for us to think, "Oh well, we'll just do a case of the week and that will be that." That's been the beauty of the show — yes, there is this procedural element to it, but it's consistently affected by how these two feel about each other. German: Thank goodness. Imagine... Ellis: Could you imagine? German: It's been deeper than that, thank god — thank you writers, a lot. Thank you, everyone! So when we left Chloe at the end of Season 4, she told Lucifer she loves him. And then he went home. What's that like for someone who had those walls up? German: I think it's pretty brutal. For someone like Chloe, who really does have so many walls up, finally, finally she gets to this point where she just can't almost take it anymore, and is so in love with him, and she tells him. And he leaves. And so… Ellis: …And it seems reciprocated — well, it is. But there's something in that last scene that didn't happen and that is kind of fuel for our [fifth] season. You know, [Lucifer] didn't actually reciprocate what was said. German: I think Chloe's heartbroken, but it's like, you can't turn off love. It's actually really fun to play the element of, "He said what he said" — or hasn't said — "and this is where I'm at and this is how I'm feeling." Chloe is maybe feeling a little rejection, a little heartbreak, but she's smart enough and knows him enough to go, "There's such good in there. I know it." Ellis: She has an incredible amount of faith in Lucifer, which is really quite warming. German: Yeah. It's consistent. But is there an element of danger in the whole situation? All these very restless demons we saw at the end of Season 4 probably want to run around and do demon-y things, I would imagine. German: But for Chloe, all he's ever done is protect or help me. I wouldn't necessarily want to see his anger, which I've seen a couple of times. But I think Chloe feels very safe with him. And as for Lucifer taking his throne back — it's been a while since he was down in Hell. I would imagine that's not going to be a simple task. Ellis: No, it's not that simple. At the beginning of Season 5, our characters are poles apart celestially, and geographically as well. And how we get them back together — that's not really a spoiler because you know that at some point they will get back together in the same room — it does kind of cement this faith that they have in each other. But it's like you say, nothing is simple when there are celestial threats around.

i have done my classic thing: i have started pride and prejudice 2005, i am 7 minutes in, and i am disgusting with this bastardization of the text

my liveblogs below the cut

elizabeth is a man-hating love-hater? not according to any book jane austen wrote!

elizabeth is too silly and improper, mrs bennet, kitty, and lydia are not at all silly enough

this sucks

lizzy is upset that mr darcy didnt find her attractive? that is a devastating mischaracterization and sets the whole plot and their relationship off on terrible and incorrect footing.

also wtf are they sitting under some benches at a dance?

hate that darcy immediately looks at elizabeth (in a way we’re meant to assume means he finds her attractive) as if his attraction to her comes from her initially from her appearance. he really was not interested in her until he began observing her behavior and interacting with he

when mrs bennet says, “it’s a shame [charlotte lucas] isn’t more handsome,” a terribly improper and humiliating thing to say, mr bingley snorts a laugh. mr bingley is not supposed to be improper at all. he has good breeding, he’s rich, he’s just also very nice and friendly. he would never laugh at that

i do not know enough about the regency era to comment, but it seems to me that there are certain liberties with historical accuracy wrt clothing and such in this film that you don’t see in the bbc miniseries. for instance, elizabeth coming to netherfield with her hair down? i don’t believe women ever wore their hair down at this time (*edit* the bbc series and this movie take place in different periods. bbc series: 1813, movie: 1797)

why is mr bingley so awkward? i mean i know why, it’s to make him seem charming and unthreatening and cute and relatable or whatever, but it’s just inconsistent. his character is extremely warm, friendly, polite, not terribly intellectual, but not a bumbling mess who can’t execute a thought without backtracking because he’s so nervous around his lady love

the book has comedy to spare, you don’t have to cheaply manufacture it in this way just because the director’s scared that his audience won’t understand the original humor/scared that he won’t have the ability to make the original humor understood/doesn’t understand the original humor himself because he doesn’t understand the source material!!

i also hate the sharpness and vitriol that this darcy puts in his language. he’s supposed to be uber-polite but cold and haughty. propriety doesn’t permit active hostility (such as when he’s bemoaning the liberal use of the word “accomplished” when applied to women) in regular conversation. that’s intense and insane 

why does he speak so quickly? also they really should not have cut the whole netherfield drawing room scene, at least not the conversation between darcy and elizabeth about teasing and pride. they actually now that i think about it cut his whole thing on how a great man can never be too prideful. that’s really fuckin important character stuff! for both of them!

the comedy in this mr collins scene is not landing. they’re like laughing at him before he’s gotten too outrageous. and the actor is such a quiet, mild-mannered dude that he’s not really grating as he should be. this is supposed to be an extraordinarily annoying character, so annoying that the bennets can’t stand him for literally one meal.

ugh they have mrs bennet suggest to mr collins that he should pursue lizzy instead of jane. that’s not out of character for her at all but it misses the opportunity to show how scuzzy mr collins is, and also how fucking little he cares about who his wife is, assuming she meets the criteria of lady catherine de bourgh

ew mr wickham is so skeevy! lizzy’s into him because he’s hot and picked up her handkerchief? that’s it? is she an idiot? he’s not charming or good-natured or fun or funny at all. lydia: he’s a lieutenant! wickham: an enchanted lieutenant (referring to being enchanted to meet lizzy). like scream! what a gross pick up line!!!!)

and their flirtation is based on banter (no!) and him being self-deprecating (maybe, but not in such an obvious way “ignore me i’m next to nothing” what a fucking weird thing to say)

he literally charms her by pulling a quarter out of her sister’s ear. are you kidding? is she 8?

this dance scene btw elizabeth and darcy is all wrong. she immediately jumps on him with “it’s your turn to say something” after it’s been .1 seconds since he last spoke, and he spoke way more amiably (”indeed, most invigorating”) than would be his wont.

oh my god they’ve stopped dancing to angrily talk to each other in the middle of the dance floor? this is so incoherent with the characters (so improper!) and the time period. just cultivating more drama. this scene’s already juicy, they don’t have to be spitting angrily into each other’s mouths for it to come across

so silly and melodramatic that twice in this movie the entirety of a loud crowded drunken ballroom has screeched to a halting silence immediately for some minor drama. the first being the bingleys and mr darcy simply entering the room. the second being mr collins introducing himself to mr darcy (that one is especially ridiculous)

oh god why are they portraying mr collins as so sympathetic and sweet? he’s a fucking asshole! he’s not just annoying he’s a dick! that’s important, otherwise elizabeth is really unjustly mean to him, especially while she’s rejecting his proposal

oh i disagree with the way they play charlotte’s reasons for marrying mr collins. instead of her just not being romantic and marrying for practical reasons because that’s her nature, they make it a biiig thing like she has to marry because she’s old and ugly and otherwise she’ll go to the poorhouse

it’s not surprising that a lot of my critiques have to do with them pumping drama that doesn’t make sense into the story. making characters shout or spit words etc, because of course that’s what a hollywood film was going to do with a 19th century novel of manners

i guess i should say some good things about this movie. the cinematography is very lovely, obviously. i think it’s well cast, especially judi dench, with the exception of kiera knightley and the actor who plays mr collins. i think matthew mcfayden could’ve been a great darcy had he actually known anything about the character beyond the script

actually i take it back, judi dench isn’t quite amping up the ridiculous nature of this character like she should. they keep a lot of her silly lines but she doesn’t hit them to emphasize just how silly they are. she’s almost too stately to play this woman who, despite her great rank, enjoys spending her time being condescending to lower rank people

here comes my agreement with the grand critique of this movie: they make darcy out to be socially awkward rather than a haughty ass. he’s leaning in and whispering that he has trouble conversing with people, as if he means he has social anxiety and doesn’t mean, “small talk with simpletons bores me”

oh no they cut the delicious piano practice scene! they rewrote it and lizzy just says, “you should practice,” and we don’t get to have this famous, witty misunderstanding that elucidates darcy’s character so well!!!

oh no no no in this scene where colonel fitzwilliam tells lizzy that darcy split up bingleys attachment he tells her that the problem wasn’t the lack of fortune but the family! why?????? that’s half of the big reveal of darcy’s letter????? it’s when she realizes that oh his intentions weren’t so bad

i know i already said it but fuck darcy speaks fast. it sounds like shit. why doesn’t he just shut the fuck up and slow down? it’s weirdly inconsistent with his character. though i guess if they’re trying to rewrite him as socially awkward this could be part of that. but they shouldnt be! because it invalidates the whole premise of the story, their romance, and his character arc!

whoa whoa whoa and in the proposal scene when she says “why did you propose by telling me you’re doing this against your better judgement” he interrupted apologetically, trying to explain. what!!! no!!! he is an asshole! he’s insulted that this low rank woman would dare reject him. he didn’t suspect for one instant that she would. he’s fucking fuming from her first word

wow they’re chopping up this iconic proposal scene huh. i guess to make darcy still seem like a Nice Guy. he didn’t get to accuse her of only rejecting him because she was insulted by his proposal, she had to say that line. this movie is like, let’s make lizzy seem as insane as possible, and darcy as sweet as can be.

you’re not supposed to realize how wrong lizzy is, it’s supposed to creep up on you very slowly. youre supposed to feel like she’s been very reasonable up to this point, and you’re as shocked as she is when she reads the letter.

even his face! so shocked and sad like a kicked puppy standing there in the rain (we won’t even touch why the fuck they’re standing outside in the pouring rain). he’s angry right now! he’s so mad! he’s supposed to be fucking mad, because he’s a proud, arrogant, asshole!

oh my god and look he’s saying the lack of fortune of the bennets had nothing to do with it, and lizzy wow she’s sooo crazy for suggesting it, even though 20 seconds ago he just said it sucks that i’m in love with you ‘cause you’re so low class. god this scene sucks

there’s a reason this is all written in a letter in the book, it works much better that way. this is not a back and forth, lizzy doesn’t get to ask questions and poke holes. he offers his defenses and is still kind of a dick, and lizzy has to read it all without responding or rejecting it, really has to sit with it, the way you can’t do in a fight

oh and he just apologized for accurately noting that elizabeth’s family is often really disgustingly improper! how fucking out of character! both in general and in the scene because, and i can’t stress this enough, HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ANGRY

oh ok i have to redact some of my former criticism. he finally gets mad at the very end here, and makes the comment about “did you expect me to rejoice in your low birth?” though he still didnt say the crucial “perhaps you would have accepted had not the manner of proposal offended you”

wait what the fuck??? did they just lean in for a kiss and lean away?? like a whole, i’m angry at you i’m hot for you let’s fuck thing? what the fuck? not only is that cheap romance melodrama but also lizzy HATES this man. not like oops i love-i mean hate you but really hates him

why do they choose to have elizabeth not tell jane about the proposal? i can’t imagine there being any reason? except of course that’s she’s secretly already in love with him and doesn’t want to admit it! gag

this scene between elizabeth and mr bennet about lydia going off with the forsters is well done imo

ugh god but they’ve given lizzy’s “what are young men to rocks and mountains?” line to mary, making it seem stupid and platitudinal, because that’s mary’s character

oh good, elizabeth is going on another “all men are trash” rant that is a thinly veiled reference to darcy. they’re just fucking taking a wrecking ball to this character’s credibility and intelligence huh?

this is really devastating actually because at this point the movie is telling us that lizzy is fighting through the anger and hate and realizing she loves darcy, after their sexy confrontation and his letter. in reality, she’s realized she was wrong and is doing some deep self-reflection.

she feels a little sheepish about how she boldly she accused darcy of things she was so wrong about but she still isn’t in love with him because he’s still a fucking proud ass! he just happened to be right about some shit that she was too prejudiced to realize

it doesn’t make sense if she falls in love with him before he grows and becomes a good person. it shows a weakness of character on her part and makes his eventual character growth just a cherry on top. oh that’s nice, they’re in love *and* he’s not gonna treat her like shit. totally invalidates the whole point of the story, overcoming personal defaults and finding healthy love that way

wow they make lizzy so stupid! she objects so stupidly to visiting pemberly! oh let’s not. he’s so…. he’s so… he’s so rich! wtf are you talking about? in the book she’s just kind of like eh idk…. do you really want to go? i guess if you think we should go… oh he won’t be there? oh cool let’s do it

ok so i’m 1:21:54 into the movie. i have 45 minutes left. i’m stopping. i’m angry and getting no joy from this so. this was a humiliating project for me, thinking i could enjoy this movie. never again

Polaris Part Eight

Parts: Preview, Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine (Coming soon!)

Genre: Action, drama, romance, sci-fi, etc.

Paring: Jongin x Character

Word count: 5.8K

A/N: So... yeah...

It was hard to sleep after what Yixing told me. It was even harder to try and pretend like everything is alright. I found myself, when not working in the shop helping fix Fighters, in the city or getting lost in the woods for a while. Yixing was a ghost. Only showing his face when people were around in a group and then disappearing. I was trying to avoid all the Kims, Baekhyun and Chanyeol, trying to keep this secret, but it was hard.

The only people I really knew here and I couldn’t really see any of them. It was incredibly lonely, surprisingly. Between that and having most people approach me trying to get close to Jongin made me want to pull my hair out. Part of me wanted to blow up and tell them how insignificant their worries are. How little that matters given the fact that the Syndicate was doing a ton of shady shit. So, for the most part, I just shrugged and said that he did what he wanted and if he was interested in them, they’d know.

It was hard saying no to Chanyeol too. We’re friend and he’s so nice but I felt like I was going to explode from lying to him. He’s very good at telling something is wrong, and if he looks at me with that sad look like I kicked a puppy I would spill the beans immediately. Park Chanyeol is more powerful than he things in that regard.

The only person I saw was Sehun. Ever since we learned the truth, he was training me in fighting in order to keep myself on my toes. I was not the best fighter, I’ll admit. My punches not even leaving a mark on him since I would hold back so much. I can’t help it. I don’t like hurting someone who is my friend. What was alarming was Minjung would pass by and watch for a bit here and there. Her eyes glancing at Sehun and I, covered in sweat. She looked like she was trying to understand why the sudden change. When she finally asked, I alluded to what happened a few week prior, from the Kryton attack. That seemed to satisfy, but who knows with her.

I pout, finishing the weld I was doing before looking it over. I smile at the person beside me, though it doesn’t really reach my eyes. “Sand this. It’ll be good practice for you,” I say, handing it over to a thin, tall man with long black hair that he had into a long braid.

“You sure,” He asks, blushing and looking at me. He was shy, quiet kind who was pretty good at what he does. Very meticulous, but kind of slow. He needed to learn to speed it up or else he won’t be able to keep up with the number of jobs that come from working on a base.

“Yeah,” I say, taking the helmet off and getting the welder back in its proper place a few feet away. “I’ll check over it tomorrow. Don’t overthink it, it’s just sanding and polishing.” He nods, blushing and looking like I asked him to defuse a bomb. I wash my hands, getting them clean before leaving my coverall in my small, designated locker in the small changing room.

I pull my bun down so it was just a normal ponytail quickly. I stretch, a bit sore from the fighting Sehun and I did earlier that day. I planned to walk along the beach until I was alone and could just lay on the sand, so I had a bag all packed for that. I learned earlier on from watching people at the beach that no one used sunscreen. When I asked someone, they told me it was because of the force field dome makes it so no one burned and none of the harmful UV light get’s thought. Pretty sweet.

I stretched, slipping on my open toed shoes, I take a glance at the mirror just to see if I didn’t look completely like a mess. Black shorts, and a stomach baring shirt. I smile, seeing the strap of my newly bought swimsuit. It was the first time I was going to actually go into the sea, which I am excited about. Something nice to do in order to take my mind off things for a while. I look at my face, frowning when I see a smudge of black across my cheek. I wipe it away with a rag that was in my locker, until it was barely noticeable, but if you look close, it’s there. I smile, placing all the work related things in there and locking it.

I opened the door, leaving the hanger into the entrance that leads to a hallway instead of going outside just yet. I wanted to get some water before I left when I suddenly feel an arm grab me. I turn, about to punch them in the face when I see Jongin. He was frowning, clearly upset as he starts to drag me along with him. People all around the hanger were staring, whispering their mindless gossip about the two of us as I just rolled my eyes.

He opens a random room, pulling me inside of it and shutting the door behind him, looking at me as he crossed his arms. His black hair slicked back as he looks over me. I see the small scar he got over his eye, and see the one on his arm too. It feels like a lifetime ago that we defended Ysimir. A low cut V neck tank top made me look away and turn around, my feelings over him going haywire. Usually he wore this when he would practice hand to hand or work out. I pushed the images of that from my head, trying to feel my face from turning red. It was all confusing lately, knowing that this whole ‘playboy’ thing he’s been faking for some dumb reason.

He takes my arm, turning me back to him. “You’re avoiding me. You’re avoiding pretty much everyone,” He says, frowning. He looks me in the eyes and I can see him look concerned. “Is this because of what we know now? About your past?”

“I just… need some space,” I mutter, nodding. It’s better if he believes it’s because of that. It perfectly explains it from his perspective.

He sighs, looking sad. He seemed worried about me, which was… strange.  “You know we don’t judge you, right? You’re still the same to us.”

I bit my lips as I turned. It was sweet, what he was saying, but it was hard not to let it all lose. Everything we’ve been doing, everything we’ve been fighting for was all for nothing. Besides the Krytons, all the Syndicate does is step in between waring planets and taking out the few space pirates there are. We’ve prided ourselves on helping the whole of space from the Krytons, when really the Syndicate was the cause of it all.

“Lyra,” Jongin mutters, as I look and see him wipe a hand to my face. I feel the tears finally, as I just look away.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter, “I… don’t know…” I try to make up an excuse, but it all just fell away.

“We understand,” Jongin says, nodding. “But pushing us away isn’t going to solve anything. I understand wanting to be alone, but isolating yourself in times like this won’t help.”

I nod, “I… I understand.” I shrug, trying to think on my toes to make him believe that I wasn’t hiding something. “I’m just use to dealing with things alone.”

“You don’t have to,” He says with a sign, “I know you and I are not exactly the… most friendly towards one another, but I’m sure Sehun or, better yet, Yixing, would like you to speak and not hold it all back. But if you do want to talk, my doors always open.”

“Thank you,” I say, with a small smile. I meant it, because even if what he thinks isn’t exactly true, he noticed that there was something wrong. He’s very perceptive of people, I’ve come to find while forced together. He’s not as bad as he makes himself be. “You’re a lot nicer than you let on,” I say, “Perhaps the whole asshole act… you should finally let go of it.”

Jongin nods, “I will. After we leave.” He frowns, glaring at the ground, “It’s best to have it when I’m around my father and sister, though.” He smiles, looking at me, “Where are you going?”

“To the beach,” I say, “I wanted some time to just… listen to the waves, I guess.”

“Sounds like fun,” He says, smiling. “I hope you have fun relaxing. Seems like you need it after these last few days.”

I nod, “Yeah… what about you? What are you doing?”

“Physical exam,” He says, shrugging. He stretches his arms, making my eyes follow. His arms are strong, which is a given. You have to be if you’re a pilot. I look back at him as he just keeps stretching, “Strength, stamina, fighting. Pilots have to take them at least once a year and I’ve been pushing it off.”

“Perks of being a mechanic,” I say, smirking. “You don’t have to take physical exams every year. Just every two. Did mine last year.”

“I’d wager that most mechanics don’t see battle, so it makes sense,” He nods, before opening the door. It rushed open, a small woman stumbling inside.

She was a little shorter than me, and dressed in a Syndicate uniform. Her shirt a bit wrinkled, but not enough to really make a difference. She had black hair and yellow eyes as she blushed, pushing her glasses back up her nose, “Oh, um… sorry. You see this room is kind of… my office. I was coming back when I saw you two go in and I just got a little curious. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry about overtaking your office,” I say, feeling immensely awkward.

“It’s fine,” She mutters, looking at me with a small smile, “I was just… well, worried about what two people could be getting off to and well… anyways, I’m sure you both are busy and I need to get back to work!”

“Sorry,” Jongin mutters, looking embarrassed, “Next time I’ll find like… a supplies closet or something. I didn’t mean to interrupt your work!”

Her face goes beet red before she nods. We go out, letting the door close behind us. I smile, “I think she likes you.”

“Most people find me at least somewhat enjoyable to be around,” He says, smirking, “Only my sister, father and you seem not to.”

I roll my eyes, “You’re ok. Not as bad as you were before. You’re not acting like an asshole anymore, which is nice. Why would you even do that?”

Jongin shrugs, “It’s… a defensive thing. A wall I can put up when I’m nervous.”

I laugh, “What about me makes you nervous?”

“I…,” He starts, before frowning and crossing his arms, “Well, I just remember you, and how you saved me. I didn’t want you to think I was just some dumbass you save and I wasn’t worth it.”

I smile, shaking my head. I glance over, seeing him looking down at the floor, face a bit pink. “I never would think that, even if you weren’t good at being a pilot. Every life is worth saving, even if they act like immature asshole after.”

He looks over, smiling as he looked in my eyes. I roll my eyes, “Besides, if you did live, we all would have been dead. We couldn’t have lasted.”

Jongin just shrugs, “No, I doubt it. Back up was about to get there.”

“Jongin, you are the best fucking pilot, learn to take a damn compliment about it,” I say, poking his arm. He laughs, the sound making me smile as he just grins. I felt my stomach flutter, a weird feeling when I see him laughing. I just look away, before shoving his arm, “Go back to your tests, they’re probably waiting for you, idiot.”

“I’ll make you proud, My little Lang,” He says, before waving and taking off in a jog. I wave, feeling my face getting hot from his last sentence. I sign, watching him weave his way through people, his hair blowing back as he runs. It didn’t take me long to get water and go out to the beach. I walk past, seeing families having fun and playing in the water. I move past, going to a more quiet and private part of the beach. Hammocks on the beach covered by umbrellas, as I set my things by one. I take a deep breath, trying to will myself to relax.

I take a moment to look over my reader, seeing the news pop up. Apparently, people are mourning the loss of Iscar Rhys and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Another about how Ysimir is recovering from the attack a while ago, and how thankful people are to the Syndicate. Before I would feel proud, but now it just makes me angry.

I shut the reader off, tossing it into my bag. I just couldn’t deal with that right now. I pull my shirt over my head, getting down into my bathing suit and going into the water, dipping my head below the clear water. The cold envelops me as I just close my eyes, before I float back above the water and let my mind wander. The Eternal Seed. Clipped Wings. Everything going on makes me feel so uneasy. I was worried for Yixing, knowing he was being hunted. People with all the power going after people who know the truth.

The Syndicate… the thing that saved me, is all a lie. And I was the only one with the truth in my possession. Every day I check after I come back for the night to see if it’s still there. No one has seen anything. Yixing messaged me in Tribian, telling me he left me a gift. A message hidden in some flowers about how someone was seen coming out of my room. They suspect us. What’s worse is that they know about the marks. I look up, seeing the sun in the sky and some birds flying over head. I was finally on Earth, something I’ve dreamed about, only to hate it here.

Is this what I get for wanting to make a difference?

I get out the water, wrapping a towel around my body as I wring the water out of my hair. I look out, seeing the sun starting to set. It was beautiful, but hard to really appreciate right now. I can see Fighters blowing passed in the air, out of the dome as I close my eyes. I imagine I was back on EXO Prime. Back before everything was so complicated. That we came and helped what we needed and went back.

I feel something grab my head, placing a cloth over my nose and mouth. I try to yell, thrashing as I rack my nails on their arm. The smell of the rag making my eyes start to close and my body feel weak, before I finally fall limp and unconscious.

~~~

Jongin takes a deep breath, smiling after showering. His physically exam went perfectly, showing him at his peak in terms of fighting and fitness. He stretches, feeling a little sore but it was the good kind. He tightens his belt, smiling before walking out of the gym. An arm grabs him as he turns, seeing Minseok who looks very pale.

“We need to talk,” He mutters. “Things are bad. I can’t find Jongdae and Junmyeon was sent to Singapore to oversee something. We need privacy, now. Baekhyun told me the ship was a nice quiet place.”

Jongin was scared, worried and just silently followed his brother. It didn’t take long until they were in there, and the second the door closed, his eldest brother turned to him and just started talking.

“The Syndicate makes Krytons. Krytons are humans who have been experimented on because all the commanding officers in Syndicate headquarters wanted to be immortal. They’ve been, for decades, keeping a balance between Krytons and Syndicate officers,” Minseok says, taking a reader that didn’t look like his and showing it to Jongin. Jongin glanced down, his eyes meeting hundreds of documentation about it. Pictures of the experiments, the people screaming in agony in videos only to show their body morph into Krytons. The key I got while you were distracting the two at the desk? It let me see this. Father knows. I have no doubt that Minjung knows.” He shakes his head turning and looking scared and frustrated, “There’s also a message going between all the higher ups. About someone stealing this information and putting it on an infochip. There’s only one person on this planet skilled enough to do it.”

“Yixing,” Jongin mutters, his eyes wide as he looks at the reader. He felt sick to his stomach reading this. Everything he’s ever done has just been for nothing, really. All the Krytons he’s killed has been because of this? He’s killed humans… people who were tortured and tested on. He looks up, “Yixing has been sparse… makes sense now.”

Minseok frowns, ‘that’s not even the least of our concerns.” He takes the reader, moving and opening a new file. “The balance between Krytons made and kill has been getting out of control. We’re killing more than ever, and the Syndicate leaders have started killing people who are the biggest threats. Yixing is on that list,” He hands it back, “And so are you. You know as well as I that Father and Minjung would kill you if it meant this stayed under wraps. There is a star by your name, and messages between Father, Minjung and someone named Yser Tridon. They are planning on taking you out while you’re here. Make it looks like something it’s not. They don’t say specifics.” Minseok glanced at him, “Whatever you do, keep a weapon on you at all times. Have a cloaker and if you need to tell me something, best to find a way to do so discreetly.” He glared, “Like hell are they killing my baby brother,” He muttered, before taking the reader and hitting the button. The doors open, leaving Jongin there feeling confused and angry. After all he’s given, the cause wasn’t even real.

What made him feel worse is that they can’t even be changed back. They have to be killed, or they will kill others and eat them.

Jongin has never been this angry in his life, and it took him everything to hold back. He glared forward, walking and hoping he didn’t run into someone he didn’t want to see or else they would face his wrath.

~~

I feel a sharp pain in my arm, making me wince as my eyes flutter open. The light was blinding, making me want to cover them. My arms wouldn’t move, as I finally take a moment to get my barring and glance around. I see a man, human, injecting something in my arm. Right into the tattoo. I felt like vomiting. There’s only one thing that would be injected anywhere near there. I see my arms tied down. One locked into the metal table in front of the man, the other tied to the arm of the chair, along with my feet to the legs and my waist to the back.

“I think it looks good, don’t you Darling,” I hear a voice say, before I turn, seeing Minjung there, her arm towards a mirror. My eyes widen, seeing the tattoo on her arm as she was smirking at me through the mirror.

“Power looks wonderful on you,” He mutters, leaning back. I see his eyes stare at her for a moment, a small smile on his face. “It’s ready, try it out.”

Minjung turns, smirking as she rolled the sleeve of her button up blouse down. She moves a chair, smirking before looking me in the eyes. “Tell me your biggest fear,” She mumbles, looking at me with a sick satisfaction.

I feel the words stumble out of my mouth, no matter how much, I wanted to stop. “I don’t want people to get to close to me out of fear of being tricked like I was back on Tribil,” I mumble, “I don’t want to be used like a puppet, so I keep people away out of fear for being hurt.”

She laughs, clapping her hands together. She sits down, looking at me like a panther stalking her prey, lacing her fingers together in her lap, “Excellent! Now, what do you think of my brother?”

“I use to think he was an asshole,” I say, feeling tears come from my eyes as I desperately tried to stop myself from talking. “But now I see he’s actually kind and works hard to protect everyone, especially those he cares about. He’s the best Fighter pilot I know.”

Minjung crosses her arms, grinning with mirth. It was the happiest I’ve ever seen her. “Do you think he’s handsome?”

“He’s the best looking man I’ve ever seen,” I feel myself say as I feel humiliated. Spilling things even I didn’t realize about myself. My own agency taken from me.

She leans in, staring into my eyes, “Do you love him?”

“I’m starting to,” I admit, tears slipping down my neck as my throat feels tight with emotion. Of course now is when I’d realize something like this, when forced to come face to face with it. All this time he’s been growing on me as his facade faded. The more I got to know the real him, the more I cared. He got under my skin with his act and when he finally shows his true self, it was like an immediate reaction.

The grin she had couldn’t have been bigger if she tried, “Good, because my baby brother has been head over heels in love with you since he saw you the first time training on Fighter mechanics.” She looks at me, “I’ve been spying on them for years, seeing his messages to Sehun about how beautiful you are, how talented, how amazing.” She leans back, “It’s nauseating. It’s just so funny that he could have anyone he wanted but the one he loved most. Jongin’s story is forever meant to be a tragedy.”

She looked at me, “So, now I’d going to lay down some things I want you to do. First of all, you can’t tell anyone that Yser or I had anything to do with this. Discretion is key and we’d like secrets to remain secrets, understood?”

“Yes,” I feel my body whimper out. Everything felt wrong. It was like another person was moving my body like a puppet. My mind was still there, but it didn’t matter.

“Yes Ma’am,” She says, “Refer to me as Ma’am.”

“Yes Ma’am,” I say, wanting to bite my tongue. I tried everything to fight it but I couldn’t.

“Second, if you fail at your task, you are to kill yourself,” She says, her eyes cold. “It’s best to make sure we have all bases covered. You got them out of your arm before, you could do it again and then rat us out.”

“Yes Ma’am,” I say, glaring at her as my arms shook with anger.

“A quick learner,” She says, nodding. “Now, your task is to go to Jongin. Don’t talk to anyone else except for a few words. Make it looks like you’re busy and have somewhere to be. No small talk. He’s in his room. You knock on his door. When he opens it, you push your way inside, shut the door behind you,” Minjung laughs, “This is be best part. I want you to kiss him. Kiss him like you’ve always desired to. Make it seem like all his dreams are coming true, it’ll be more fun that way.” She laughs, smirking at me. I couldn’t believe how… evil this woman was. This was her brother and she was ordering him to be killed. “Then, I want you to look in his eyes, tell him you love him. The moment he smiles or says anything, you take this,” She says, pulling something out from a pocket on her pants. It was a thin knife, the blade a purple metal with a sun etched onto it. “And stab him. If you can’t kill him, then do what I’ve told you and kill yourself.”

My heart ripped into two hearing that. Kill Jongin… I wanted to scream, call her a bitch and rip away from this chair. Instead, I looked away, and said, “Yes, Ma’am.”

“Don’t attack us,” She says, “You go immediately. If Jongin asks if why, you say nothing.” I see her sigh, “I just wish I could be there to watch him fall apart as the woman he loves is the one to betray him.”

The man moved, starting to release me. I feel my hand take the blade from her, before I finally stand. My feet moving briskly, hiding the blade in the belt of the I was forced into, I realize. Blue cargo pants and a black tank top, both items belonging to me. They must have gotten it from my room earlier.

No one really stopped me as I felt myself dreading what was to come. When I finally got at his door, I feel myself knock.I wanted nothing more to just run away or to tell Jongin what’s going on. Now it was too late.

The door open and I see him. The pajama pants he wore were on his hips, chest bare as he looked at me. He looked tired, but surprised at seeing me. “Lyra,” He asks, looking at me like he was confused.

I push him back as everything in my mind wanted to scream at him to run. I felt myself kick the door closed as I tried to break away from the power over me. I get closer, standing on my tiptoes before pulling him down to me, pressing our lips together. It wasn’t sweet, but full of everything I wanted to convey. Even if I was forced to do this, part of me is still reacting like I wasn’t being controlled. I could feel how shocked Jongin was, before feeling him kiss me back and I just wanted to scream at him to get away.

It was sad, because there is a part of me greatly enjoying this kiss. His lips were so soft and his hands on my waist, holding me close as he kissed back with an equal amount of passion, biting my lip and letting his feeling flow freely. His tongue met mine and I wanted to cry because I’ve secretly wanted this, but not like this. I felt guilty, as I clinged to him and hoped this kiss never ended for his safety. I wanted to just get lost in this feeling, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to enjoy this when it was going to just hurt him in the end.

But he pulled away, gasping for breath before looking at me, still shocked. I feel my mouth moving, muttering the words that were so buried deep in my heart that I didn’t even know they were there until now. “I love you, Jongin,” I whisper, seeing his eyes go wide, as he smiles.

I reach into my pocket, grabbing the knife, and push it forward, interrupting him. Jongin noticed something was wrong in that moment. He was quick. Quicker than I was, as he moved out the way, seeing the knife in my hand. “What the fuck,” He asks, looking at me, eyes confused and hurt. “Lyra, why?”

“I can’t tell you,” I mutter, tears falling from my face as I moved, pushing the knife towards him, catching him on the chest but it was just barely a scratch. I felt awful hurting him. He didn’t deserve to die. All he’s done was for the safety of people. All he’s ever done was to help people. He doesn't deserve to be hurt like this. To be played with before killed.

“Why can’t you tell me,” He asks, moving out of the way of my next slash. He was so quick it was astonishing. He was tall, very strong but somehow light on his toes at the same time. I suppose training with a master fighter like Yixing would do that to someone.

I think, not feeling something stopping me. I smile, she forgot. She forgot to tell me not to say anything about the mark other than who was involved. “That tattoo,” I practically yell, smiling, finally cracking the mask I was being forced to wear. “They restored it! They control me!”

I see Jongin seem to understand. He looked relieved, smiling like he isn’t being attacked right now. “And they wanted you to kill me? Like this?!”

“I can’t say,” I mutter, feeling the block again. I tried to stab again only for him to move. This is it. It won’t work. I feel myself turn away, tears falling down my eyes. This is better. It’s better if I die than him. He can actually do something about everything. I’m just a useless mechanic. I hold the knife in front of me, about to stab it into my throat. I close my eyes, bringing it towards me. I feel something hold me around my waist, before looking at seeing the blade of the knife in Jongin’s palm, blood running down it. I try to fight back, only for him, take his other arm, around my neck. I feel myself gasp of air, struggling to breath.

“I’m sorry,” I hear him say, before my eyes fall closed a second time today.

~~~

Kyungsoo didn’t know what to expect when he got that emergency message from Jongin, but seeing Lyra tied to a bed unconscious while Jongin held a rag to a cut hand was certainly not it. He looked up at the young pilot, waiting to hear answers as he set his bag down, getting a pair of gloves. The small wound on his hand went clean through, as Kyungsoo cursed. “I’ve got some of the internal healing goo,” He mumbles.

“You know,” Jongin mutters,  looking at him. “The truth?”

“Yixing let me know,” He mutters quietly, getting a small thin white tube, getting some on his hand and running a finger thought it. He made sure to get it on both sides of the wound, massaging it into the cut. “What happened?”

“They tried to have me killed,” Jongin says quietly, making sure the music he started to play drowned them out so long as they didn’t speak too loudly. “They got Lyra’s mark working again and had her come and try to kill me. After, she tried to kill herself. A contingency plan.”

“Sounds like Minjung,” Kyungsoo mutters, “We have to get her to the ship to take them out again… but we can’t exactly sneak a unconscious woman all the way to our ship… unless…”

Jongin frowns, “What are you thinking?”

“If one of us get the tattoo… the other one, we could command her to follow our order, to go to the ship and have it removed again,” Kyungsoo mutters, looking up at Jongin.

“Is there a huge magnet in the hanger here,” Jongin asked, “It’s literally about only one hundred feet away.”

“We’ll have to see-” Jongin starts, hearing the door open. He moves Kyungsoo away form the bedroom door, knife that was just used in an attempt for his life. The door opened, and in peaked in Baekhyun. He glanced over, seeing Jongin before looking around. “I’ve been monitoring. They hid them putting the nano tech in her but I managed to find the real security footage, but that is the least of our concerns.”

It was then that Jongin saw how panicked Baekhyun was. “What’s going on,” He asks, looking and seeing Baekhyun shaking.

“Krytons are coming. They know the attempts to kill you didn’t work. They think Lyra is dead. Now they want to make it seem like you die honorably in battle. They’ll be here in five minutes, max. We need you out there. Kyungsoo and I will take Lyra to the hanger. We’ll pretend she was hurt and looking for safety and we’ll take that shit out of her,” He explains quickly, “Go! Now!”

Jongin looks back at the unconscious body of Lyra, before turning and walking out there door. He burst into a sprint, heading for his Fighter. It didn’t take long to get the suit on. He glanced up, seeing ships break into the Earth’s atmosphere. He kicks the blocks away, opening up Aryl.

“Alright, he mutters to himself before he put the helmet on, “That could have been a lie. But I’ll never know if she meant it if I die today.” He puts the helmet on, “Mission Command, I’m checking in. This is Captain Kim, officer number 0307KJI88, what’s the status, over.”

“They’re coming with the largest force I’ve ever seen,” He hears his older brother, Junmyeon’s voice, say. “We have to stop them or else all the innocent people here will become their food.”

Jongin nods to himself, “Is Minjung there?”

“Yes,” He mutters, before he could hear a voice chime in.

“Hello, Captain Kim,” she says smoothly. “We expect your best out there.”

“When this is over, you’re going to pay,” He says, not caring that this was being recorded. “I know it was you. Our conversation-”

“I thought you didn’t care for her, brother-” She starts, trying to talk herself away from speaking to him.

“I lied. You know I did,” He growls, “I love her. More than anything. What I didn’t like about was making sure you felt double of the pain she did. When this is over, sister,” He sneers, “I’m coming for you, and no amount of soldiers standing in my way will stop me. Nothing in this, or any galaxy will stop me from making you pay for what you did, I promise you, Minjung. If you were smart, you’d get the fuck out of here while you still have the chance. I will not rest until I make you suffer worse than she did.”

He could hear a whimper over the comms before the headset she wore was thrown away, he assumed. A faint door slamming shut could be heard as he heard Junmyeon, “I’ve… I haven’t seen her that scared ever. Jongin, what happened?”

“I’ll tell you after,” He says, firing up his engines, “Until then, we have people to protect. You’re with me?”

“You know I am,” Junmyeon says, quietly.

Jongin smiles, before hitting the speed and racing up into the sky, trying to drag some of the forces away from the island. He looks, seeing in his Fighter a small paper that slipped down to the ground. Yixing’s handwriting, saying he got the information from where it was hidden and he exposed the higher officers of their crimes. Now, all he had to to was win, live, and get ready to make them pay.

The grin on his face couldn’t be wider.

Hopefully this is my last VLD S7 discourse post.

I usually try to stay out of the drama but LGBTQ rep is near and dear to me and I have spent the last few days totally caught up in the discourse surrounding S7, despite my best intentions. Can I blame myself though? It is every where!  

So I am hoping if I just put all my thoughts in an under the cut post, maybe I can move on and go back to enjoying the show for what it is and creating and assuming the fanon content I enjoy. I really do like the show. I just have feelings about some decisions.

Warning, there is an essay under here:

I’ll start by reminding people, I am in my 30s and I came out as bi in the 90s so I grew up in a totally different stage of society than most of the fandom. I mention this because it is important to keep in mind that the western world was not as open and accepting as it is now and my generation did a lot to make progress happen. There is still a lot to be done, but that is another matter.

I grew up in an age where LGBTQ characters, if present, were usually evil, tortured or killed off. At best, they were a comedic side kick. When we started to get LGBTQ content, shows like Queer as Folk, were given late night time slots and considered adult and taboo.  

Shows like Modern Family were an amazing win for LGBTQ rep but animation still had/has a lot of ground work to do.

Dreamworks got flack for Gobber saying, “And that’s why I never married,” in HTTYD 2 and that was super vague.

Conservative groups were adamant that children’s content be free of “discussions of sexuality.” Gosh forbid, someone be gay so any references had to be vague and nearly undetectable. LGBTQ content was heavily censored and often out right forbidden.

Legend of Korra’s Korrasami pushed the envelope and broke ground but it’s rep was still at the very end of the series and quiet enough to sneak by censors.

Right before I watched VLD, I watched Yuri on Ice and was so moved that there was a well written animated series that depicted a same sex relationship where it wasn’t played for comedic effect, tokenism or tragedy.

When I finished YOI, I got sucked into VLD by the fan art. When I watched the show, Keith and Lance’s relationship intrigued me and I had fun imagining scenarios where they could end up together and live in domestic bliss.

The fandom ate it up. There was so much K/lance content to create and consume and so much positive response to it, that I fell in love. They became an OTP and I have dedicated my blog to them ever since.

However, this whole time I have been cautiously optimistic about the likelihood that K/lance could become canon because I imagined the crew would have a fight on their hands to make it happen. My experience with representation in media made it hard for me to let myself hope.  

But I let myself believe because of LOK, Disney having a gay character come out on one of its youth series, and shows like One Day At A Time.

Shipping meta didn’t help.          

But I tried very hard to keep my hopes in check and remind myself that fanon isn’t canon and that I am hear for the fanon. Canon would be nice but it is not the end all be all. I had to repeat this to myself a lot.

The last little while I have found myself growing exceptionally tired of “KICK” and shipper’s insistence that K/lance will be canon because I knew the fandom was getting their hopes up and that fanon and canon are separate things and I didn’t want people to get their hearts broken when fanon wasn’t represented in canon.

Also, I wanted people to focus on creating and consuming fanon content rather than scouring the canon for proof and engaging in petty ship wars, but that is some people’s idea of fun, and I can’t judge them for enjoying the show differently than me.

Anyways, despite my reservations, I let myself hope.

Then we had Shiro’s reveal. I was so excited that we were getting a strong persevering leader and POC as LGBTQ rep in a children’s animation that I didn’t even care that the likelihood of K/lance was diminished for me because there was no way I could let my self believe that we could have three characters in canon m/m relationships.

But then I watched S7 and the rep fell a little flat for me, but I was still happy there was enough insinuation that m/m youth could see themselves in Shiro.

But then they gave Ezor and Zethrid a coded scene and killed them and Adam.

I don’t think the show runners did this with any ill intent. I think they were clueless to the fact that they were committing a dangerous trope.

The show is about war, yes, and people are lost in war, but we need to have enough LGBTQ characters in animation, media in general really, that the loss of one is not such a blow.  They should have predicted the fandom outrage, but I don’t think they did, and now they are on the defensive, seemingly making things worse.  

I also felt queer baited. And I don’t use that term lightly. I have defended them against queer baiting in the past because 99% of the time, the feeling is the result of the fandom building hype by reading into things and spinning things the showrunners and Vas said and not actually baiting.

And that happened again here.

But I feel like the showrunners contributed to it this time.

But I also am not sure how they could have shut it down.

I kind of wish they would not have said anything about Shiro at SDCC and just let the viewers interpret the scene for themselves. LM and JDS saying Adam and Shiro were engaged doesn’t mean anything if they don’t show it in the show. That was their mistake.

If they were not sure they would be able to give explicit rep, they should not have said anything about it. I don’t think people would have cared as much that there was not LGBTQ rep if we were not expecting it.

I get wanting to make everyone happy and being inclusive and not wanting to spoil anything or shut down ships but ugh it made an ugly situation. I  don’t know how they could have been more honest without spoiling things though.  

(But if they really didn’t want to shut down ships, why write Lance and Keith in any romantic arcs at all? They knew how popular the ships were to make some changes? I suppose the verdict is still out on whether A/llurance and K/acxa are gonna be cannon though so I really shouldn’t assume and get upset about that yet)

The fandom is partly to blame for the hype and perceived queer baiting in the past. If people didn’t ask questions that put show runners and VAs in awkward spots or spinning things said, the hype might not be so extreme.  

But this time it feels like the show runners went with it?

Did marketers encourage the hype for ratings though? Definitely. I don’t trust marketers. There goal is to get people talking about the show, be it good or bad. It’s important to remember the show runners and the marketers are separate. Netflix pulled some shady moves with the posters and that whole folding picture thing.

And that brings me back to K/lance.  

For awhile now I am have been thinking they pulled a Zutara with K/lance and S/hallura, (Zutara is the pairing of Zuko and Katara from Avatar the Last Airbender, and the plan was for them to be canon but studio pressure suggested the audience related to Aang more so they shifted gears and made Kaang the canon romance in the last season instead).

S/hallura could have been such a beautifully written loves story of two fierce leaders and no one can tell me they don’t have chemistry and corresponding arcs.

So I was surprised when it was revealed that Shiro was the LGBTQ rep.

This made me think maybe Shiro and Adam were to be just friends and K/lance was meant to be canon after all, which is why so many of us saw canon potential in S1-3) but then it got shut down for any numbers of reasons and they decided to make Shiro the rep instead.

Barlee recently tweeted that Shiro was always meant to be the LGBTQ rep and they had to fight for what they showed though.

So this combined with the fact that they had to fight to show what little they did and the insistence that Shiro “is the rep,” makes me think K/lance isn’t happening for sure.

And I am sad about that. And that is ok. I am allowed to be sad about it. My sadness that my ship won’t be canon should not dismiss my concerns about the bury your gays trope though. They are two different issues and I am sick that people are undermining the argument because of who people ship.

I am also sad, that Barlee’s tweet suggested that LM and JDS did not get to tell the story they wanted to tell because of studio meddling. I’d really love to know what that story was.  

But I will get over it and go back to creating and consuming content for K/lance and VLD because the world that VLD created is rich and inspiring to me. I love exploring the what ifs and alternate story lines the VLD universe has to offer because that is the part of fandom I enjoy.

I enjoy the canon too, but it is just one story in a list of endless possibilities.