#ok doei
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i found a thing for young playwrights and am tempted to apply but also at the same time i have to submit some of my work so it’s kinda like “hi i like the netherlands heres a whole ass play about that enjoy bye”
#but its true to me and that’s what counts#i guess#nah but it is i guess very important to who i am no matter how stupid that actually sounds#still gonna apply for it it would be amazing experience for my writing i guess#it might actually help me with the on stage vision bc thats cloudy as FUCK rn#maybe I could do something with it idk#ok doei
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Bratty Baby...
bratty!reader x tamer!sunghoon
warnings: sunghoons really rough bcz u were a brat >:(, random pet names, unprotected sex, kissing, teasing, dirty talk, and swearing, reader probs says 'dont touch me' when angry but its obvs doesnt mean that. (normally my smut are like a quickie and rushed but ill try to stretch this one out).
summary: You got angry, very angry that u couldn't control yourself, swore a little at sunghoon (maybe a lot), and got your punishment for being a brat.
"Fuck off sunghoon" you wrestled your way from his embrace, leaving his so called 'friend social hangout'. He looked at you in awe, chuckling a bit at your new misbehaviour.
He ran after you and grabbed onto your wrist earning an angry whine, you turned your head aggressively to his face, his charming, beautiful, face.
Wait what?
'No, no, no y/n you have to stay mad at him' you were chanting in your head.
You pulled and tugged, he was so much bigger than you that you could barely even move but you did, freeing your hands from him once again. Knitting your brows together, you push his chest a little, causing him to stumble back
"Don't fucking touch me sunghoon, fuck off!" you yelled, a finger pointing directly at his face.
*Meanwhile* (goofy jake incoming)
"What's going on with them" Jake said nose squished up on the window, his eyes huge, trying to examine the little wrestling match going on outside.
Heeseung rolled his eyes, embarrassed of his own best-friend.
"Stop stalking them like a creep, look even the birds are flying away from your dumb-ass looking face, YOUR TURNING PURPLE!", he jokingly said, stopping his friend form getting into your business.
*Anyways*
Sunghoon dragged you, pinning you to the closest brick-wall, and smashed his lips onto yours, biting your lips in the process to enter his tongue, slithering through your mouth, exploring every bit.
"You fucking belong to me ok?, don't act like a fucking brat right now alright?" He drags you to his car, opening the door for you and gently pushing you in, before slamming the door and entering himself.
He starts driving, eye glued onto the road, but yours where stuck onto his face. He doesn't have to look at you to realise that you were staring at him in trepidation.
You really didn't mean to shout at him, but you couldn't help it when he found your old diary, pictures filled with him,
nothings wrong with that...
But he teased you, so, so, much, that it wasn't even funny anymore, teased you to the point that he was about to tell his friends whilst you were hanging out with him!
And that's how you got here.
He turns his head to look at you when the traffic light turn red, and your eyes meet instantly. Now your thinking of how to apologise, but you just wont let the little bratty self in you do it. In any case right now, he should be apologising.
"You have something to say?, I mean you practically swore at me and pushed me" never breaking the eye contact with your big, doey eyes, as if he knew what you were thinking.
"Your not going to apologise are you?, you never will" he laughs a little at your obstinacy.
"m'k, ill just have to make you apologise isn't it?, just shove my cock into you and you suddenly start acting like a 'good girl' hm?" he says whilst driving again. "Then you'll listen wont you?, make you sob and cry until you apologise for being naughty again *sigh* c'mon y/n you know better."
You reach home, he runs to the side of the car where your sitting and opens the door for you, sticking out his hand for your, dragging both of you to the front door and opening the door in on swift move.
He pushes you against the door, his leg between yours, making you wetter at the moment. He kisses you once again, but way harshly. You couldn't help it, his hands running down your waist, other hand keeping you in a chokehold, firm but gently, his lips biting yours, his tongue gliding against your mouth.
You couldn't stop yourself from grinding against his, trying to find some friction eagerly, but sunghoon was too smart, quickly removing his leg and biting your neck causing you to moan whilst taking you to your bedroom.
He sat at the edge of the bed, motioning for you to come over, you slowly walked over to him, bending a little to pull down his trousers, his biceps looking bigger than ever.
"Sunghoon, can I... undress my s-self" you said looking down, but looked at him once again as he was chuckling.
He stroked your face a little, his fangs pointing out as he gave you his signature smirk, "well done for asking baby". You waited for his response...
"go ahead doll"
There you go.
The answer that you wanted this whole time.
You quickly took your clothes, layer after layer until you revealed your little surprise that you wore under. You cute, lacy lingerie, a bow in the middle of your low cut bra, revealing your cleavage.
"you look so cutee" he emphasised on the word 'cute', dragging you to his now practically naked body. He pulled down your underwear slowly, revealing your soaking wet pussy.
Pressing two fingers on your slit, and eyes never leaving your face, he watched your expression switch to a pleading face begging through you eyes for sunghoon to do something to you.
To ruin you.
"Fuck sunghoon " you pushed his hand away " Just do something, anything" You begged
He scoffed, "You couldn't even wait a little longer, such a bratty little girl" his voice deep but he was smiling the whole time.
He pulls you closer and onto his lap, watching your tight pussy stretch around his huge length. You let out a small 'fuck' due to the size change, him filling you up so well.
"Since you want me so badly do it yourself" he looked at you.
"What?"
"Fuck yourself on my cock"
You sighed so loudly, about to cry. Sunghoon was like 100x stronger than you and you could barely even move on him, but you were so desperate, trying your best to fuck yourself.
You put you hands on his shoulder, slowly bouncing up and down on his huge length, letting out long, dragged moans due to the felling, but when you opened your eyes, sunghoon hadn't even budged, still giving you a lusty stare.
"Fuck it sunghoon" you started letting out your crocodile tears. "Please sunghoon, please hoon-"
"uh uh" he tutted. You whimpered, starting again, forcing yourself to move up and down even thought your legs were so sore, sunghoon enjoying every bit.
"Please sunghoon". He rolls his eyes, he couldn't help but succumb into your pleading act.
He couldn't help it.
He puts your back on the bed before fucking in and out of you in an animalistic speed, making you choke on your breath.
"Gonna apologise isn't huh?" You whined again. "C'mon baby" he started increasing his speed again, breath increasing due to your tight little cunt.
How could a man speak so calmly whilst practically ripping you apart. You knew if he didn't get what he wanted, you wouldn't, so you just had to please him and finally giving in.
"S-sunghoon" he hummed in response.
"fuck- 'm sorry- fuckk! 'm s-sorry for-mmmm! being bad again sunghoooon- shit I... I wont do it again!" you let out another extended moan.
He smiled, hands wrapping around your neck, slightly chocking you, watching your eyes roll back at the small restraining,
"now that's the good girl I know" he proudly spoke, pushing your legs up to your chest and going deeper into you.
You haven't felt so manhandled in so long, sunghoon practically was playing with you like your were a toy, wrapping your legs around his waist to see your fucked out face again.
"You'll do anything for dick y-yeah?" you nodded your head aggressively not even listening to what he was saying.
"Fuck sunghoon!" you yelled his dick hitting places he never had, the spongy places that had you arching your back.
"Can I cum... pleasee!" you heard him chuckling again. He slowly nodded him head.
"C'mon, go ahead"
Your orgasm hit you so hard everything went white, sunghoon creaming and breeding into you almost at the same time. He slowed down, trying to drag the pleasure before pulling out a little, looking at your fucked up pussy with a smirk.
He pushes him cum back in with his fingers, biting onto his lip as his juices leaked out again.
"Lets go get you cleaned up" He said slowly walking out the room, thinking you were behind him.
But all he heard was heavy breathing, and an almost dead y/n laying on the bed.
"Oh" he picked you up in bridal style and taking you to the bathroom, getting a nice hot shower for both of you.
He smiled at you, whilst you looked down. "'m really sorry hoon" you muttered.
" Its alright y/n," he smiled again eyes squinting into a creasent shape.
"Your way cuter when your not bratty" you smiled.
"My bratty baby"
#enha x reader#enhypen#enhyphen hard thoughts#enhyphen x reader#enhypen smut#enhypen heeseung#sunghoon smut#sunghoon#smut
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anyone up?
no?
kappa and grey sweats. :3
⋆୨୧⋆⋆˚✿˖° 𐙚 ₊ ⊹ ♡
“baby, you seen my wallet? swear I just had it,” he’s whipping past you in the kitchen frantically. “uhhh look in the living room? last place I seen it,” you keep your eyes on the stove as you listen to his movements. “ah,” you hear from him, “my smart girl, thank you. i’ll be back ok?” he says, making you face him.
you get a good look at him, black longsleeve over some grey sweatpants. man’s lingerie. “are going out like that..?” you mewl, feet pitter pattering behind him quietly, forgetting everything you were doing to follow him, watching him stop in his tracks and turn back around, “yeah? what’s wrong?”
you knew your boyfriend, you knew he didn’t understand that he couldn’t leave the house like that, he just wasn’t hip with girl word and girl rules. and you also knew he had an absolute cannon in his pants, watching it press against the fabric with each move—very clear he hadn’t anything under them like usual, definitely just threw them on.
he glanced down at himself, not seeing the problem and giving you a confused look and head shake, the expression in your face throwing him off, “what’s the problem, baby?” “wha-where are you even going??” you cross your arms. “theta wants to go to the range and just hang out in general, i’m comfortable.” he shrugs. you bite your lip, as you give him a final size up, head feeling foggy, eyes blinking rapidly.
he furrows his brows, he recognized that look, your eyes gone soft and wide, brows hugged together and lips pouty. he didn’t understand how you could do it so fast, just go..stupid for him. “talk to me sug’, you seem out of it,” he holds your cheek, but you say nothing, staring up at him and he stares back, eyes vacant and lips parted. you stand on your tip-toes and kiss him, holding his cheeks in hand.
he kissed back, though a little confused, and as soon as he grabbed your hips and pressed his body to yours, feeling his bulge right on your tummy—something took over you. it wasn't enough that you were ovulating, the sweatpants were making you rabid.
you whimper in the kiss before pushing your tongue into his mouth, earning a groan from him. you’re sloppy and eager, almost pushing him back with how forceful you were being.
“hey—listen,” he pulls off and grabs your cheeks forcefully, your doey dumb eyes on his, his cheeks reddening and breath labored. “what’s the matter with you, huh?” he gets stern on you, making you whine more. you reach between you two and grab his hard on, stroking his throwing his sweats, making him suck in his breath and let out a quick groan.
“daddy just..you look so good I can’t let you go,” you kiss his neck softly and he finds his eyes fluttering, biting his lip as his head lulls on the side for you, leaning on the arm rest. “fuck pup, that right?”he rasps, precum staining his pants, now he definitely had to change later.
“uh huh, just need it so bad, please lemme i’ve been so good-,” you pout against him, gasping when he grabs your hair and pulls your back, almost straining your neck, hands now pressed against his chest. he sighs softly. “listen, I got alotta shit to do, kay? you gotta be fast, can you be fast for daddy?” hes forcing you on your knees— you’re not complaining as you nod frantically, already grabbing at his sweats, almost pulling em off.
“u-uh huh, i’ll be fast promise,” you’re mumbling, stepping over your own words as he undoes his drawstrings and pulls his pants down just enough for his heavy cock to spring out, already making you whine impatiently as it throbs it your face. “you know what to do baby,” he lets go of you and you’re on him immediately, swallowing his cock like a dumb pup should <33
⋆୨୧⋆⋆˚✿˖° 𐙚 ₊ ⊹ ♡
#something id def do.#he’s not allowed to put that thing on display??#it’s only for me#do y’all like my ‘anyone up’ series🤭🤭#rory culkin#rory culkin smut#kappa prompt#pup!!reader#kappa black mirror smut#kappa rory culkin#kappa black mirror#kappa smut
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frat boy txt who saw u from far away at a party and knew they had to have you
—Tomorrow x Together—
Description: This is just the older members. I will probs do Tae + Hyuka’s version
Fem Reader
Warnings: NSFW// virginity loss// unprotected sex// oral (f)// sex in public spaces// NOT PROOFREAD
—
•Yeonjun•
Frat Boy! Yeonjun is the WORST. And not in a funny way- no he’s horrible. The type to haze freshman pledges and dare drunk guys to jump off a five story building.
Frat Boy! Yeonjun who sees you slip into his house party behind your friends and pulls the first guy he can to the side, “I bet you a hundred dollars I’ll fuck her tonight.” The man laughs him off, telling him you’re a notorious prude. “You mean like she’s saving herself for marriage? Two hundred.”
Frat Boy! Yeonjun who slips his arm over your shoulder and gets to work. He spends the whole night complimenting you, handing you drink after drink, slowly dropping his hand down your body until it’s resting on your hips.
Frat Boy! Yeonjun who gets you halfway to his room before you start to push back on him. “Hold on- I’m saving myself.” You pout.
Frat Boy! Yeonjun who was prepared for this, pushing you up against the wall. “I thought we really hit it off babe… I was hoping to see you again after tonight… You don’t like me? Cause I like you.” He's saying so much to you and your brain is so fuzzy from all the drinks that you find yourself nodding along.
Frat Boy! Yeonjun who beams at you as you mumble., “You really like me?” He nods and leans in to leave a soft peck on your lips. “Sure thing, angel.” You bite your lip and lean against the wall. “Ok.”
Frat Boy! Yeonjun who wastes no time getting you in his bed, slipping your dress down your body as he pushes you into his mattress.
Frat Boy! Yeonjun who’s surprisingly loving. He kisses down your body, leaving little bites and hickeys in wake. You part your legs for him so easily and he fits in between them even easier.
Frat Boy! Yeonjun who doesn’t think to prep you. “This is still ok?” And when you nod he lines himself up and sinks in with a groan. You suck in a breath at the stretch, eyes watering as you try your hardest not to whine. “You gotta relax, sweet thing.” He breaths while trying to shove the rest of him into your tight cunt.
Frat Boy! Yeonjun who almost cums when he finally bottoms out, which is weird- he’s never been sensitive like this. You look up at him with doey eyes, a mix of excitement and fear knits your eyebrows together and leaves your mouth agape.
Frat Boy! Yeonjun who fucks your goey cunt so good, makes you gush around him as he drills into you. “I’m gonna make you feel so good.” He breathes, lifting one of your legs up and resting it on his shoulder. “You’ll always compare guys to me after this right?” He leans in to kiss you on the cheek, stretching you open in the process. “I gotta be good then.”
Frat Boy! Yeonjun who does make you feel so good. He makes you feel- eyes roll back into your head, toes curling, drool slipping out of your mouth- good and you love it. And so does he.
Frat Boy! Yeonjun who cums inside of you because he knows you won’t tell him no, ready to go get his money and dump you off on one of your friends but then he takes a step back and looks at you sprawled out on his bed and part of him loves it. A large part.
•Soobin•
Frat Boy! Soobin who was just dumped and doesn’t want to be at this party because he knows his ex will be here, and he knows she’ll be all over some rando, and that she’ll make sure he sees her. But he comes any because the only thing worse than letting her do that is giving her the satisfaction of winning.
Frat Boy! Soobin who has a plan. He just needs to find some hot girl to attach to for the night, give his ex a taste of her own medicine, and when he sees you walk in he knows it’s going to be you. You’re perfect, way prettier than his ex and more importantly, her friend.
Frat Boy! Soobin who walks up to you, grabs you by the wrist, and pulls you into the less crowded backyard. “What are you doing, Soobin?” You laugh and the sound is so pretty he almost forgets what he’s trying to do. He can see his ex in his peripheral vision, sitting on one of his classmates' laps. “I need your help.” He mumbles, grabbing your hips and pulling you toward him. “You gotta act like you’re really into me.” He leaves a ghost of a kiss on the corner of your mouth. “My girlfriend broke up with me, I wanna make her jealous.”
Frat Boy! Soobin who’s surprised when you wrap your arms around his neck, sure you we're going to push him away by now. “She’s a major bitch.” You laugh, “Y’know what will really get her? Eat me out in the bathroom, I’ll make sure she sees.”
Frat Boy! Soobin who agrees to it. No questions asked. He actually pulls you toward the bathroom. He doesn’t care how you’re going to show her, he just wants it to happen.
Frat Boy! Soobin who pushes you against the wall tile and sinks to his knee. He pushes your skirt up your body and actually licks his lips when he sees the wet patch forming your underwear. He kisses your clit through the pink cotton and then slips them down to your knees, hard in his pants as he dives in.
Frat Boy! Soobin who is great at eating pussy, sucks on your clit and draws light circles on your opening. He has your legs shaking as you grab your phone, snapping a couple pictures of him and sending them off to his bitch of an ex. By the time they’re delivered your knees are starting to buckles. You twist to grab onto the sink next you, moaning as he laps at your cunt.
Frat Boy! Soobin who hears the bathroom door fling open, and his ex yelling at him but he can’t stop, he wants you to cum. He feels something hit his back and the door slams and all he does is grab onto your legs to keep you up right. Your thankful for the extra support, you cannot believe his ex broke up with someone this good at head.
Frat Boy! Soobin who sinks two fingers into you and whines when you pull at his hair in response. “You’re so good at this!” You whine, hunching over as he gets you closer and closer. “So good.”
Frat Boy! Soobin who whines at your words, sending shocks of pleasure up your body, finally pushing you over the edge. “She saw?” He mumbles, knowing the answer just not wanting to leave. “You’re sure?” He kisses your thigh when you nod, still out of breath.
Frat Boy! Soobin who moves to stand up but you push down on his head while he does. He looks up at you confused- but then you spread your legs a little wider and mumble “better we’re both sure.” and he’s back in your cunt before you can finish speaking.
•Beomgyu•
Frat Boy! Beomgyu who is loud and always doing something stupid. Unless of course you’re at the party, then he’s loud and glued to your side. “Hey baby.” He’s so excited to see you, wrapping you up in a hug. “Did you finish studying?” All his friends sigh and leave, knowing how this will end.
Frat Boy! Beomgyu who any other night would be taking bets on whether or not he can do a keg stand, but when you take time from studying to come to a party his whole world becomes about you. “Are you tired? Do you wanna leave?” He mumbles, kissing you softly. “I know you have that test tomorrow.” You just smile and pull him in for another kiss. “I’m ok, baby, I’m here to party, you don’t need to do all of this.” You say the same thing every time but he can’t help it.
Frat Boy! Beomgyu whose behavior is such a 180 that the freshman boys start asking him if he’s got a headache or something. “No, I just miss my girl.”
Frat Boy! Beomgyu who is usually the last person to leave parties, most of the time he stays over whatever pledges house it is, but when you’re stood in front of him looking so pretty all he wants to do is go back to your dorm and fuck you. He makes it well known too, grabbing your hand and pressing it against his hard on multiple times throughout the night.
Frat Boy! Beomgyu who can only wait so long, pulling you into a dark corner of the empty laundry room. “I gotta fuck you baby.” He whines, picking you up and setting you on the washer. “I know.” You reply, spreading your legs for him.
Frat Boy! Beomgyu who always fucks best like this, rushed and as quiet as possible, even if it’s impossible for him to be quiet. His thrusts are deep and strong, broken whines spilling out of your mouth as he plays with your puffy clit. He goes as far as to press a hand over your mouth even if he’s the one who’s making all the noise.
Frat Boy! Beomgyu who gives you a mind shattering orgasm and goes back to the party like nothing happened. Except now he’s pumped up, going back to being as loud as usual, grabbing the first person he sees and betting them he can shotgun a beer faster. All while you sit crumpled on the couch trying to ignore the cum dripping down your thigh.
—-
Inbox always open 🫶
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ok so my request is when kaito turns 2 and starts having the terrible two how would angel and kai react to the son throwing tantrums like 24/7???
His eye twitched at the 2 years old throwing himself on the ground and starting to throw another tantrum....
He could only groan with a hand on his face as he could sense it many people on the market staring with nasty eyes at him like he was the problem of that fucking brat crying.
Oh... he was the father. Yeah, that's why they stared at him.
"I'm going to leave you here if you don't stop this nonsense right now." He growled and the kid screamed even louder, getting himself up to stomp his food down.
"I'm leaving." He groaned, only managing to take two steps away only to vringe at the said child clinging on his leg and crying even louder, not only drawing more attention to the two but also rubbing his snotty nose on his pants.
All that theater was because of one thing. Chisaki said no and took him away from the candy area of the market.
He couldn't wait to get home and beat the shit out of Mimic for introducing chocolate to just kid without his knowledge... before he knew Kaito was demanding chocolate at least five times at day for him and you.
He could only drag himself out of the market, without any success on buying the things he was suppose to.
.
.
"What happened?" You asked as soon as the door opened and Kaito ran into you while crying, babling some things impossible for anyone to understand.
"Another one of his many tantrums over a packet of candy." He growled while changing his mask and taking off his shoes at the entrance "in the middle of the market."
"Wow." You winced. You knew Kai hated to be the center of attention, and being a well know yakuza didn't help but surely having a kid bawling their eyes out was definitely difficult for anyone to deal with.
"This brat is out of control." He groaned as soon as he stepped closer to you only to narrow his eyes at the baby in your arms to poke his tongue out at him and bury his face on the crook of your neck.
"Well, is around this age they usually get like this..." You murmured while petting softly the brow hair of your son as he finally calmed down "We just gotta be patient I guess?"
"My patience has a limit and this devil reached the limits of it." He said in a monotonous tone of voice only to wince at the kick he received from your son who was suppose to have fallen sleep in your arms.
.
.
"Can you look at him while I go take a shower? He gave me a hard time on the doctor..." You begged with your eyes at your husband, who only nodded and mentioned with his hand for you to go whole not taking his eyes off the book on his hold.
He was just about to finish a page when he felt a poke on his leg and saw big and doey (e/c) staring back at him.
"What?"
"Play!"
"Not now. Here-" he picked the remote and turned the TV on "Maybe that stupid show is on-"
"No! Play!" The boy pouted and hitted his hands on the sofa while Kai only arched an eyebrow... already knowing where this was going.
"Kaito. I'm busy. Not everything we want is something that we can get."
The kid though only got angrier and climbed the sofa and crossed his arms with huff.
"Play Dada!"
"I said not now." He said again, returning to his book only to freeze when his son slapped the book out of his hand and making it fall in the ground... losing the page he was.
"Chisaki Kaito..." he growled while his golden eye twitched in anger and the kid glared back... "You're getting out of line. Just because you're my son doesn't mean you can get away with everything."
The boy only poked his tongue monotonously at him as he felt a headache already coming to get him.
"... I wonder where you got this fucking attitude I swear to God." He groaned while placing his gloved hands on his head in defeat.
"Fuckin."
His eyes widened in horror
.
.
"Great job father of the year." You spoke in anger as Chisaki massaged his temple.
"Dont start this now."
"You just teaches our son to say fucking, how else am I suppose to react?!" You whispered shouted as Chisaki glared at you.
"You know how this kid is getting on our nerves-" He stopped talking and you widened your eyes at the sound of something cracking... you both slowly turned your heads to the side and saw Kaito looking shocked at a vase that he accidentally broken...
"That's..." You said terrified.
"Pops present from his deceived wife..." Kai finished your sentence with the sane terror on his voice.
.
.
"Is okay, he didn't knew." Pops said with calm but with a hint of sadness on his eyes as he picked the cracks while you and Kai bowed in shame.
"I apologize. Kaito has been acting out and being a menage to control..." he growled while you grabbed Kaito's hand to keep him in the room.
"You say like you were a Saint when you were younger." Pops chuckled "He took it from you."
"Told ya it was your fault." You snickered as Kai deadpanned...
"Fuckin!" Kaito spoke in glee as you and Kai's jaw almost dropped while the elder widened his eyes before bursting in laughter.
Sure this kid was difficult, but how could he get mad with boy that was so cute and keeping Chisaki on line?
#overhaul x reader#chisaki kai x reader#overhaul#chisaki kai#bnha villains x reader#chisaki family#kaito chisaki#zuffer writings
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oq importa é q vc tentou sabe :)) eu doei dinheiro mesmo kkkkkkkkk achei mais fácil, além de ajudar os animais com ração
ps. acho q vou te continuar com os apelidos ent, namorada ;)
esses dias eu vi um vídeo de um cachorrinho tremendo 🥺 fiquei morrendo de dó, mas me falaram q nao podia doar saco de ração
ok, namorada
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Tickets for Museumnacht on the night?
Marked cycling lanes on canals?
A pathological need to call everything gezellig?
Ted Lasso, don’t hurt me like that.
I’m kidding, it was hilarious. Colin almost getting hit by a cyclist when leaving is Prik is actually legit, that street sucks.
Random André Hazes singing, also p legit.
And Trent and Colin talking on the Homomonument in front of the Westerkerk? Beautifully done.
Coach speaks Dutch…well. Like. Good. It cracked me up. Bonus: OK DOEI
#ted lasso#amsterdam#AND#another thing#The Chet Baker plaquette is not in the red light district.#it’s across from the centraal station#Jan Maas: LEffe blond
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ok doei, vond alleen mijn veins leuk.
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I would love to hear your new rtc idea
ok i am back from my waltzer adventure feeling a little bit ill but i have more ghost content
the choir all become very familliar with all the rides. if any of them makes any sort of out-of-the-ordinary noise they all hate it.
im considering having it be that they can put on other clothes over their uniforms and remain invisible. constance snagged a 'i rode the cyclone and all i got was this lousy t-shirt' shirt before they were all binned. ocean does not find it funny. ricky has a bootleg pokemon shirt. they put kid-sided shirts (still way too big) on jane/savannah's doll sometimes
every time the carnival sets up somewhere new they pick a different ride to act as home base
any drama between the staff is like their own personal soap opera
thinking about them becoming visible on halloween and/or their deathday. they snag likely oversized and generally terrible shirts to wear so that nobody who knows the carnivals history thinks theyre wearing horrifically insensitive costumes, and have something almost apporaching a normal day at the fairground.
their phones still work to an extent. there are many arguments about music choices on travelling days.
names/nicknames for jane doe (some of which will also be used in choir incomplete) include savannah, sav, vanny, anna, ann, annie, janey, jenny, JD, jade, doey, stag, bambi. they never seem to be able to settle on one, but i will likely stick to mainly savannah and one or two others in the narration
they make a note of the date they decided to throw savannah an impromptu birthday party, so they know when to do it next year
on the subject of birthdays, theyre never really sure what birthday to label them as since they dont age. they end up resolving to keep going till they loose count
the carnival has been renamed, but i am yet to think of a new name for it.
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the video: these countries are trying to stop the dominance of english
me: ok cool
the video: the netherlands has decided that internationals should learn courtesy dutch, and that two thirds of bachelor’s degrees should be taught in dutch
me: seems reasonable, should at least learn some dutch
the video: Italy is going to have hefty fines associated with speaking English in official communications
me: how are you going to police that?
#i just woke up let me be#the only thing in this entire video i digress with is the metros in china removing english singage#to me it made it inaccessible to tourists#right idea wrong execution#the italian one I also don’t really understand how that will me executed to but we slay#do u dob ppl in#hey i saw luca speaking English instead of Italian#we should fine him#the dutch have the best tactic and i might sound biased but it’s literally jusr… learn? our language?? ok doei
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Vinte para meia noite, pensamentos idiotas e aleatórios
Nessa última semana tem sido impossível dormir cedo. Hoje perdi o sono conversando com a mãe.. decidi escrever. Ultimamente escrever tem sido meu consolo em meio a tanta coisa que gostaria de dizer em voz alta e não posso. "A sanguínea está aprendendo a ficar quieta". Apesar de saber que preciso aprender a escrever, tem sido bom. Gostaria mesmo é de poder contar para o "rapaz do evangelho" as coisas boas que andam acontecendo. Apesar das ruins, tiveram as boas. Vamos ver amanhã como será..
Fico pensando se depois de tudo o que falei, se há um meio de voltar atrás. Poxa vida. Nem sei sobre o quê escrever primeiro: meu arrependimento em ter saído do meu trabalho no mercado porque cheguei num nível de estafa mental... Ou na decepção de descobrir mais uma traição. Triste saber que tem pessoas que exploram nossas fraquezas para ter algum ganho. Mas já tem um ditado: árvore que produz fruto... Vai saber. Ela não precisava me pressionar. Ela não precisava me usar. Não precisava fazer o que fez. Eu não tinha "cacife" para tomar o cargo dela. E nem queria.. então não entendo. Não fui em momento algum ameaça para ela. Não perco meu tempo planejando meios de tirar o que não me pertence, o que não é pra mim. Eu não me preocupo com o que não é para ser meu; prefiro focar em manifestar o que é pra mim. Então.. não faz sentido para mim, uma mulher fingir amizade com outra só para entrar na mente dessa pessoa. Qual foi o ganho dela nisso tudo?! 3 dias depois ela teve o retorno.. mas esse tipo de coisa não me trás alívio nenhum. Porém também não vou fingir piedade porque não tenho nenhuma. Se tem uma coisa que estou aprendendo é: estou sendo sincera; me doei. O problema já não é meu se a outra parte agiu com falsidade. É de quem agiu pelas minhas costas. Não sou ninguém para julgar, odiar e não perdoar. Eu erro bastante todos os dias. Mas... Longe de mim! Que não conte comigo nem para chupar uma bala. Faça qualquer coisa comigo, mas não me use. Eu perdoo qualquer coisa, menos ser usada dessa maneira.
Ok.. meus cinco minutos de pena de mim mesma já venceram. "Bora pro tapa?"
Tô errada. Confiança se conquista; não é algo que se ganha sem lutar por, sem merecer. Eu devia ser mais observadora, ficar atenta aos sinais. Percebi alguns e preferi (mais uma vez) pensar que estava errada. O erro obviamente foi meu. As pessoas vão até onde permitimos. Então fica a lição: não posso dar confiança, ou esperar que as pessoas confiem em mim sem ter boas razões para isso. Confiança se conquista por merecimento. Se eu não tivesse sido "tão mole" não teria acolhido esse animalzinho debaixo das minhas asas.
Ok.. terminei de reclamar sobre como estou chateada por ter vindo de uma moça que eu tinha afeição, ok.. mas quero continuar escrevendo. Poxa..
Meia noite. Nada ainda.
Lembrei dele do nada hoje a noite voltando do culto novamente. E agora ao arrumar a cama pra dormir. Esquisito! Lembrar quando arrumo a cama... Seila, curioso, aleatório. Espero, oro para que esteja bem. Que esteja protegido, seguro. Feliz com a outra moça, aquela lá que ele exibiu no mercado. "Estamos bem" que bom! Que continue assim.
Ah meu Deus, serio. E eu hein?! Eu faço o quê? Quero sair dessa marafunda. Já sei para onde ir a longo prazo, mas e agora?? Preciso de algo para agora, pai!
Chateação hein. Só queria que as coisas mudassem para melhor.. e vão.
00:04. Diacho. Hoje meu nivel de ansiedade subiu tanto... a dissociação aliviou, mas a ansiedade resolveu compensar. Bom, pelo menos a Elaine agora mora perto de mim. Isso sim foi uma ótima notícia!
00:07 e eu recebo um vídeo: sinais de que Deus está prestes a fazer algo grandioso na sua vida. Os sinais: "portas começam a se fechar, amizades acabam e até parentes somem, tudo começa a dar errado" Nossa.. tudo isso está acontecendo mesmo. Estou descobrindo traições de pessoas que eu nem imaginava, pessoas que eu não esperava estão "caindo em cima de mim" por causa dos meus erros... Olha.. espero mesmo que alguma porta se abra. Porque sozinha não consigo fazer mais nada.
Falando em traição: descobri que para algumas pessoas, mesmo não tendo um compromisso declarado, conversar com alguém do sexo oposto é traição. What the hell!? Ninguém declarou compromisso contigo é traição igual (?) Ah que mundo estranho. E eu mais estranha ainda, pensando que dá mesmo para ser amiguinha de homem. Bobinha! Eu mereço mesmo os sustos que eu levo nessa vida. Vivendo no fantástico mundo de Bob.
Aquele beijo, eca. Se o outro soubesse que na verdade eu odiei cada segundo daquela conversa... Se arrependimento matasse eu jamais teria pisado naquela praia. Não sei porque diabos cismei em ir. Aliás, porque tô pensando nisso?! Já deixei tudo para trás. Eu hein.
Falando em beijo.. Senhor, me dê paciência! O que eu estou fazendo de errado para atrair esses doidos para minha vida?! Se aparecer MAIS UM doido me pedindo beijo "do nada" vou para o convento. Po! Olha.. pior é que parece que quanto mais eu leio, estudo, procuro me aperfeiçoar, mais eu topo com esses homens doidos. Foi o curso de etiqueta, não foi?! Só pode ser a etiqueta. Se não for a educação, não sei o que é. Ah, pela paciência! Deus, agora já entendi porque "me liberasse do compromisso contigo": Não foi porque tu crê na minha fidelidade e que não vou cair.. mas porque tu sabia que com esses doidos no meu caminho eu me manteria focada né?! Só pode. Deus me livre.. não sei como eles me acham. Agora já entendi porque tem homens que não gostam quando suas namoradas, esposas, blablabla ficam sorrindo, brincando com as pessoas por aí: sempre tem um doido que pensa que é aval para fazer movimentos. Deve ser isso o que me mete em problema de vez em quando, não consigo ver outra possibilidade.
Deus, como faz para parar de sentir saudade? Aquele pescoço cheiroso 😞
Meu Deus, preciso dormir... já escrevi tanto hoje...
Vou dormir com esperança e o pensamento de que "tudo está passando" 🙏🏻
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EXAUSTÃO
E a verdade é que, eu to cansada galera.
Eu estou psicologicamente cansada e emocionalmente quebrada.
Eu sentia uma pressão enorme em cima de mim, mas agora, mais do que qualquer outro momento da minha vida, a pressão depositada em mim é grandiosa. As pessoas têm o seu próprio tempo, o seu itinerário e os seus compromissos, mas, quando se trata de mim, eu preciso me organizar para que o tempo dos outros seja o meu tempo e que as minhas coisas sejam adjacentes e dispensáveis.
E eu não escrevo apenas sobre a corrida do dia a dia para dar conta de tudo que eu preciso fazer, mas, também, de expectativas, as quais eu não busquei, que foram depositadas sem o meu consentimento.
A minha vida se resume em: “Busca pra mim”, “você leva né?”, “eu to trabalhando, vai e busca”, “saindo do trabalho você faz isso” e infinitas coisas que eu preciso me ajustar para que a peteca não caia, para que tudo que precise ser feito seja milimetricamente executado. Ok? Ok! Mas eu te pergunto: e as minhas coisas? Eu não consigo combinar uma janta com as minhas amigas, sem avisar 1 semana antes. Eu preciso acordar todos os dias 05h30 da minha manhã porque, do contrário, eu não consigo ir para a academia.
Fora isso temos a pressão que eu nem sequer pedi. A pressão imposta por amigos, que deveriam me entender e me apoiar. Eu falei desde o começo que eu não querer ser inserida nisso de novo e me inseriram, sem o meu consentimento. E a frase que eu escutei foi: “eu não fiz isso (que foi sem eu saber) para te pressionar, você faz se você quiser. Eu fiz para que, caso você quisesse, você pudesse”.
Sabe o que eu mais escutei nas ultimas semanas? Pressões para que eu fizesse o que eu EXPRESSAMENTE disse que não queria fazer. Me deparo agora com um áudio de 1 minuto de um amigo, me pressionando e dizendo “coloca a mão na consciência” para que eu faça uma coisa que eu disse REITERADAS vezes, que eu não quero. E sabem o pior? (porque sim, piora) Eu estou saindo de errada ainda, porque a pessoa não está satisfeita com o fato de que eu não quero.
Agora a errada sou eu por não querer me machucar de novo? A errada sou eu por entender os meus limites e ver que isso me faria mais mal do que bem? Sim, ajudaria as pessoas, mas e eu? Quantas e quantas vezes eu não fiz algo pensando nos outros. Pensando no bem-estar alheio, mas me fodendo ao final? Eu não quero mais isso parceiro. Eu não apensas sei o meu limite, eu SINTO a minha limitação. Eu sinto dor a cada treino na academia. Eu vejo o meu desempenho menor. Eu vejo o retrocesso quando eu fico 1 semana sem treinar. EU sinto essa dor...
E escutar que eu deveria colocar a mão na consciência? Que eu treino e quase não sinto nada? Como que sabem o que eu sinto? Escutar isso de um time que eu amo e que doei 6 anos da minha vida. Um time que carrego no meu coração e que eu faço de tudo pra ajudar. Agora a consideração por toda história enfia no rabo? As vezes que eu joguei lesionada, chorando de dor, escutando “você não pode sair, joga com dor” e depois eu sei bem o que eu passava. Semanas tomando remédios, usando faixas e compressores, precisando fazer fortalecimento durante meses para tentar recuperar.
Fica aqui o meu desabafo para um cansaço mental absurdo. Eu to exausta.
Paul1xtana.com
07.11.2023
21h01
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Maakt niet uit. Komkommers voor het leven. Anoniem Komkommer uitchecken.
Oke doei anonieme komkommerpersoon 😭
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Ze gaan hard vriendin, die Fir-Tec dekjes van Catago. SInds kort hebben we ook de matchende Fir-Tec Therapy peesbeschermers er bij opgenomen. De kleuren zwart, navy en wit hebben we standaard in het assortiment. De limited edition kleuren Urban Chic, Walnut en Raisin Plum kunnen gematchd worden met de peesbeschermers. Verkrijgbaar in M en L voor de E-pony’s/paarden tot 1.69m. En ook verkrijgbaar in L en XL voor de paarden boven de 1,70m. Of de koudbloeden zoals Friezen Haffies Fjordjes Tinka’s etc. Speciale set prijs bestaande uit een Fir-Tec dressuur dekje met voor en achter beschermers(4) is €250,- en voor €7,95 wordt het verstuurd naar je osso. (Bestellen via het contact formulier op de website met je adresgegevens.) Kwaliteit kost wat… maar dan hebbie ook wat!💸 Oh ja en hoewel ik niet echt in die marketing trucjes trap doet dat Fir Tec wel echt wat met m’n paardenkinders. Naast een goed passend zadel voel ik sneller dat ze losser zijn onder het zadel en die peesbeschermers zorgen er voor dat de beentjes koel blijven. Ok doei!🙋🏾♂️ www.akashsaddlery.nl https://www.instagram.com/p/Co2360ooRwP/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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