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#oh_fuck.avi
fuckmeyer
·
8 months
Text
if smeyer wasn't a coward vamp!Bella would have immediately eaten her daughter Rensesmem whole-hog like Saturn Devouring His Son
#twilight
#twilight renaissance
#bella swan
#the twilight saga
#breaking dawn
#smeyer wanted to model all her books off of classic literature: romeo & juliet - wuthering heights - pride & prejudice
#AMATEUR HOUR
#HEY SMEYER I GOT A FUCKIN STORY TO MODEL YOUR TWILIGHT FANFICTION AFTER
#BREAKING DAWN BOOK ONE: Bella fucks Edward for his power & breaks his stone dick in the process - & lo! Ravioli is born in the carnage!
#Bella becomes a vamp. she takes over the Cullen coven AND the Volturi bc honestly fuck everyone here only Bella is Cool and Right
#oh and vamp hybrids are now legal so vamps start gettin it on. hybrids everywhere. humans who? welcome to the Golden Age baybeeee
#BD BOOK 2: Alice comes to Queen Bella with a vision: 'lmao bestie the prophecy says ur getting ur shit smacked'
#oh_fuck.avi
#Bella begins DEVOURING ALL THE CULLENS INCLUDING RAVIOLI so they can't fulfill the prophecy
#vampire fluid contains 11 secret herbs & spices so it's lip-smackin finger-lickin good
#omg but ONE vampire was hidden away........ gasp
#surprise bitch! it's Ravioli!
#turns out Bella mistook Ravioli for LITERAL Ravioli (Chef Boyardee Beefaroni to be exact)
#Raviolo comes back and makes Bella throw up! bleh! the Cullens (& Beefaroni) are freed!
#together with Benjamin Ravioli now rules over the Cullens and the vamp world
#Bella is imprisoned
#FUCK Bella
#FUCK this story
#still a better one than BD tho
#the end
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