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cinnaminsvga · 4 years

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what are your favorite fics you read for every member? like the ones that resonated and left you a changed woman when you finished. could be because of characterization, or plot, or nostalgia, just the ones that come first and easy for every member, like, the iconic ones for you. can be mxm. i'm asking cause i just read worldwide lonesome and. damb. just. i kinda feel like i read seokjin’s diary or something? like it felt invasive just bc of how REAL he felt, you feel me? so. i'm curious about u

this is such a loaded ask because honestly, i had to think really deeply about this!! there are so many fics out there that have changed me as a writer and as a person in general that its hard to pick just seven... but i’m glad you mentioned worldwide lonesome because that fic is definitely!! fucking!! up there!! it might actually be my #1 seokjin fic, so you already got me there. but man... i put a lot of thought into my answer because my reading list is a never-ending pool of queerness and angstiness, as those tend to resonate the most deeply with me (since i am, after all, both queer and angsty HAHAH) so uhhh... here i go!! (also i apologize that these are mostly mxm... weirdly enough, i’m kind of more affected by those bc i relate more to them than reader inserts for some reason... the world is bombarded with hetero representation, so excuse me for clinging to my sole source of queer love lmao)

➤ for seokjin:

worldwide lonesome by loindexter [yoonjin] - i already mentioned it, but MAN... this fic left me stunned. the characterization of seokjin is what gets me the most, and by god, i am a SUCKER for coming out stories. as a closeted queer person, i’ve always wondered what other people’s experiences are with coming to terms with their sexuality, and op really hits the nail on the head. seokjin in this fic just feels... so real. like you said, it almost felt like i was looking into his diary!! it was maddening and tearjerking and oh so fucking human... you could feel his turmoil as if it were your own... and yoongi!! dear god, yoongi... that sweet fool... this fic just struck a cord with me because of how intimate and vulnerable it felt. i really hope i can write a fic like that in the future.

➤ for yoongi:

here comes the sun by fruitily [yoonkook] - this was unequivocally the hardest decision i’ve ever had to make in my life, mostly because i’ve read a plethora of yoongi fics in my day and it is quite literally so difficult to pin down a singular fic that changed me the most as a person. the reason i chose this certain fruitily fic (op will always be my biggest writing idol... if i could, i’d list down their entire masterlist as my favorite yoongi/jungkook fics of all time) because of the emotions it made me feel. there’s always something a bit sad about summer romances, and i’ve always been a sucker for that sort of trope because of the many possibilities you can do with it. it’s just... the way yoongi was portrayed here was just so darn REAL,,, you could almost physically feel his increasing want, his slow realization that yes, he does love the bucktoothed kid from summer camp. i absolutely adore the interactions he has with all the characters, because you can almost fool yourself into thinking he’s a real person. he’s a friend, and you’re watching him come to terms with what it means to love someone you only see once a year. dear lord i love that dude i’m gonna go cry now!!

(also bc i’m cheating but i also recommend the nights really were made for saying things you can't say tomorrow day by siderum... first yoonkook fic i ever read and dare i say it literally changed me as a person. there are no words.)

➤ for hoseok:

depaysement by 1honeypot (oilblotter/obiwrites) - okay i know this is fucked up for me to recommend a fic that doesn’t even exist on the internet anymore (op deleted her account on tumblr and has moved to ao3 but she’s never gonna reupload this fic again unfortunately) but MAN i still remember that fic to this day. it was so fucking GOOD and it made me realize the potential reader fics had that i never knew was possible. the entire plot was the usual make-over cliche (popular trendy girl makes the nerd hot yadah yadah yadah) that i had thought wouldn’t be interesting, but op managed to turn that trope into her own. it was hilarious, hot, moving, relatable... just ticking off every point that makes a fic great. i miss that fic so dearly and if you were some of the lucky few who managed to read it when it was still around... i think you all understand.

➤ for namjoon:

beta tau sigma by bazooka [namjin] - i cannot count the amount of times i’ve reread this fic. like, no joke, i probably memorize a few of the chapters from rereading it alone. holy fuck,,, as you can tell, i have a pattern when it comes to my fave fics and it’s all about: GAY PANIC THE MUSICAL!! yea... i just really like fics about self-discovery because MAN as a young adult traversing the mysteries of human nature and sexuality, i sincerely relate to namjoon in this fic. “am i gay, or am i just gay for my best friend?” is a question i have asked myself NUMEROUS times... dear god, namjoon is just a walking catastrophe and i!! could not!! relate!! more!! the plot flow and immersion you get from this fic is out of this world. you almost feel like you’re in the same frat as them!! i also love the way op made even the side characters have their own story arcs and backgrounds... they are what inspired me to give life to even the smallest of characters bc it just heightens the reading experience imo!! they really do feel like your friends in this fic, and this fic will always be my sources of comfort.

➤ for jimin:

darling, just say you’ll say by tusaisbts [yoonmin] - have i not sung this fic enough praises? i know it looks weird from the premise... cowboys? mail order brides? i thought it was odd at first too, but believe me when i say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. jimin’s growth as a character here left me absolutely speechless!! i just love his development: from a scared stranger dropped off in the middle of nowhere to a smart and capable teacher who can hold his own in this small rural town. i especially love how he interacts with yoongi, because op really makes you want to root for them. you want them to fall in love, to make their relationship work out. that yearning for two characters to get together is something i want my own readers to feel, and there aren’t enough words in my vernacular to explain how happy i was when everything turned out well. and jfc... rancher yoongi? got me so fucking hot n bothered and now i will forever be enamored by the thought of rugged yoongi... jfc...

➤ for taehyung (& jimin!!):

mudlands & yellow acacia by nonheather [vmin] - i remember the day i read this like it was yesterday. i had a final to study for, but instead i read this entire thing in one go and then i cried my eyes out even until the moment i walked into my exam room. i don’t know how else to describe this other than it was otherworldly. it was cozy. it was heartbreaking and magical and downright lovely. i especially loved the way taehyung was here... so fucking whipped for park jimin. he loved like no other man could, and jimin might have been a little too bullheaded at first, but they make it out okay. i’m not really one to believe in soulmates, but this fic almost made me believe they could be. it made me yearn for the first time, and i think that counts for something. to love another person and to have them love you back... op made me believe in love.

➤ for jungkook:

years since you’ve been here by ameliabedelias [namkook] - okay maybe i’m just a crybaby and i cry at every fic under the sun but dear god this fic... might be The Fic That Changed Me As A Person. like, of course the other fics were mindblowing but this one in particular... wow. trampled all my expectations and caused a garden to bloom in my heart. jungkook is so sweet, so lost... he feels too much and he aches for namjoon. i know all too well that feeling of melancholy... when you love someone you’re not supposed to. coming of age stories will always have a soft spot in my heart, because i always tend to project myself onto the main characters. i want to grow and find my own destiny. i want to learn and be happy. jungkook finds his way, tumbles and trips the entire time, but he gets there. a symbol of queer triumph.

#Anonymous #answered #fic rec

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windycarnage · 4 years

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(1/2) hi windy!! this is gonna b a kinda weird message but i just wanted 2 thanks 4 bein u. u were one of the first tumblrs i followed back when i was like 12 (i’m 21 now) and i was on tumblr a LOT as depressed kids tend 2 do lol. in that state i could’ve rlly easily fallen into some toxic shit and gone down an even darker hole. but instead i was lucky enough to follow u!! and find ur lil community!! i was never super active in it and always lurker but i really think ur lil community helped me

(2/2)grow as a person. like i just saw how kind and accepting ppl could be and also not conservative shit bags (eyyy rural country livin) and i just learned a lot on how 2 NOT be a shit person. u were even my first introduction to non-binary identities and now i’m non-binary!!! wowza!!! anyways yeah thank u so much for helping to create such a kind, soft space on a social platform that can often be just total trash. it probably saved me more than i could ever kno. SRRY IF THIS IS A WEIRD MESSAGE

man... So many things going through my head. First of all THANK YOU this is so kind of you to say!! I was always going through a lot and anytime I think back on my internet persona history I’m always like, damn you live like this. But Im glad some people changed for the better because of it!!

Also oh my god I’ve been on the internet for way too fucking long. Because *I* was in my early 20s when you were 12 oh my god. Oh my god. Mortality is real. Im gonna die one day.

ANYWAY THANK YOU!! KEEP UP THE LOVE!!

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mrfirefoxgym · 7 years

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A glimpse of hell - mean nicknames created by the Chinese Gymternet

NDISCLAIMER:

1. Do not read this if you are easily offended by mean names, satirical jokes or dark humour.

2. The Chinese gymternet culture, and its internet culture as a whole, is very different from the ones on tumblr. Partly due to its insularity, certain terms used in the Chinese gymternet could come across to you as too rude or brass or unacceptable. However, please also take into account the difference in the cultural aspect as well. As a common dweller in the Chinese gymternet community, I can promise that 95% of the satirical teasings or mean names created by the Chinese has no derogatory intention. The truly degrading, racist or sexist nicknames have also been filtered out by me, so rest assured.

So now, if you are ready, please read on:

--------------------------------------------The line to hell-------------------------------------------

Part 1. Basic terminology to nickname-creation

A. 野鸡 (ye-ji) noun./adj. - pheasant; wild chicken (direct translation)

“Before anyone is worthy of being bestowed upon a nickname by the Chinese gymternet god, they are all wild chickens.”

The term “wild chicken” is not limited to the gymternet community - it is the umbrella term for all athletes who are either 1.not well known 2.not very good at the sport 3.both. Wild chicken can be used both as a noun and an adjective. Though initially carrying a negative and even derogatory connotation, the tone now is much more neutral. An example for the use of “wild chicken” with a neutral connotation would be -

“Who is that wild chicken on bars? She’s pretty good.”

When used as an adjective, it is normally used to describe a routine that is underwhelming. For example “Songsong’s vault is quite 野鸡.”

When used to describe man, use 野鸭, or wild duck, instead of chicken.

B. 女士/小姐 noun. - Ms/Mdm/Miss

Using an overly formal term to address an athlete is one of the most basic satirical trick used by the Chinese community. I’m not sure when and who first created this but oh boy does this thing spread fast! Similar to wild chicken, this term first carries a negative connotation, but some people liked it so much they start to call everybody, including the ones they love, with a Ms something something. More often than not though this term still carries a mocking tone to it.

Example: “Oh what a spectacular performance by Mdm____, she could have scored full marks in the 10-points scoring system!”

C. 好粉丝 noun. - Good fans

With its true meaning being “biased fans”, this word is often used to mock comments or other netizens for being...well...too biased.

Example: “Good lord, those good fans are saying ____ is capable of winning gold again, what a joke!”

With the 3 most basic terminology in mind, lets move to more specific nicknames for gymnasts and countries.

Part 2 - specific nicknames and its origin (names not written in any order, just writing them down as I remember them)

1. Victoria Komova - 擦擦，擦地，擦四步（scratchy，ground-wiper, wipe-4-steps)

Origin: 擦 (pronounced as tsah), means “to wipe” or “to scratch”. The name 擦擦 came after YOG in 2010 when Komova scratched her feet on the ground during bars final and then backed 4 steps during floor final - the Chinese netizens then begin saying that Komova is wiping the floor with her feet and there goes the “wipe-4-steps” and the “ground-wiper”. While used as a mocking nickname initially, most people now, even her fans, still refer to her as “scratchy” or “擦擦“.

2. Kyla Ross - 敦煌飞仙 (Buddha’s heavenly leap)

Origin: It is extremely hard to translate the proverb 敦煌飞仙. The term “敦煌” is related to Buddism whereas 飞仙 means something like “flying to heaven”? It’s a buddist term and I’m not able to capture the exact meaning as well... anyway, the term came after Kyla’s super awkward fell during her 2015 Jesolo floor routine, and then one of the netizens who didn’t really like her wrote “OH MY HOW BEAUTIFUL, ITS LIKE A BUDDHA’S HEAVENLY LEAP”, and then suddenly everybody started to use it lmao. It is initially used to address Kyla Ross’s fall, but has now extended to all kinds of lurching kind of fall on floors. It definitely is still used to mock people though.

3. Riley McCusker - 鸡翅膀 - Chicken Wing

Origin: Her 2016 floor choreography is just really weird and has hand movements like a “flapping wild chicken”, and if you have read the things I wrote above you will know being related to a “wild chicken” is NOT good for your image on the gymternet lmao.

4. Nastia Liukin - 青蛙，娃娃 - frog, froggy

Origin: It’s due to the cowboying on her double front. One of the disgusted netizen commented that her posture during the double front is like a “leadping frog” and thats it lol. It is also notable that Nastia is a pretty controversial figure in the chinese gymternet, with large groups of fans and haters. The haters all address her as froggy and the fans will call her 公主 - princess.

5. Deng Yalan - 种地小姐 - Miss peasant

Origin: So last year it became clear to the fans that Deng got addicted to a K-pop star and ended up semi-quitting her gymnastics career. Then there is this huge whooha regarding what she’s gonna do dropping gymnastics and her education at such a young age in the future. Then somebody digged out her family’s background and realized that her family is not very well-off in the first place and they live in the rural areas. So disappointed fans begin calling her Miss peasant to mock how she somehow ruined her own fledgling gymnastics career.

6. Huang Qiushuang - 面膜小姐/黄面膜 - Miss Face mask/Facemask Huang

Origin: When Huang retired from gymnastics she opened a micro online shop to sell face masks. Such micro online shop in China is known for their dubious quality as many products are made without proper channels and regulation, and so yep people begin to call her Miss face mask for selling “fake products”. Whether the products are truly fake is unknown til today.

7. Zeng Siqi & Chen Siyi - 旅游小姐/拍手小姐/提包小姐 - Miss vacation/Miss hand-clapper/Miss bag-carrier

Origin: Siqi only did beam (and fell) during the 2013 individual world championship, whereas Siyi didn’t do a single apparatus during the 2015 team final, so mean netizens begin mocking that “all Siyi did is to hold others’ tea cup and clap her hands and carry bags”, and then they became Miss hand-clappers. Dowell is also sometimes addressed as such too due to her lack of participation in 2013′s WC.

8. Liu Jinru - 搞笑艺人 - Comedian

Origin: Because her dance and wobbles and fell are all quite...clumsy looking? Then some people said she looked like a comedian trying to make people laugh with all her wobbles and mistakes and now everybody begin calling her that.

9. Larisa Iordache - 影后 - movie queen

Origin: Prior of Olympics in 2012 rumour has it that Larisa is injured or something like that, and then she showed up to the competition almost fine (she fell on beam and floor but her difficulties are all back), and Chinese netizens were like “WASN’T SHE INJURED” when she showed up with a crazy difficulty beam routines, and there you’ve got the name!

10. Diana Bulimar - 布尼玛老太婆 - Witch Bulimar

Origin: This and the next one is probably the most offensive out of all terms SO PLEASE DON’T BE OFFENDED. Its also kind of hard to explain... so it all started with a superrrrrrrrrrrr Bulimar hater who also happens to be super active in the Chinese gymternet. Boy did he HATE Bulimar. And then since Romania’s struggling with the depth of talent pool the renowned hater started the “Bulimar is a witch and she cast a cremation spell on team Romania so that the entire gym program will be cremated” thing, and he talked about it in like every single fucking post lol, and it gradually got picked up. Bulimar is also known for having a “floor music of curse” back in 2012, as whoever is doing beam when Bulimar is using the 2012 floor music will either wobble or fall on beam.

11. Romanian team - 火葬国 - Cremnation

Origin: Its the same as above, 火葬国 sounds super offensive as it means “country of cremation”, it’s a very bad joke and I apologize if anyone is offended... So anyway according to this hater Didi cast a cremation spell on the country’s gymnastics program so that it will all burn to ashes, and because hes so active everybody got brainwashed and start to address the team as “cremation team”.

12. Other Romanian gymnasts cept Didi, Lari and Cata - 字母女士，Miss Alphabets

Origin: So it goes like the Romanian fans are super upset about how the new comers are unable to match the ability of Didi, Lari and Cata, or even do something that is memorable. And so in the cruel world of Chinese gymternet community such gymnasts do not deserve a distinctive nickname - they ended being called Miss H, Miss I, Miss O and Miss G, things like that.

13. Team China - 宙国 - Team Universe

Origin: This may sounds nice but it is not - it is used to mock overly nationalistic chinese fans who thinks team China deserve to win everything and anything, so much so they own the universe lmao, so they instead call these fans as “fans of team universe”.

14. Maria Paseka - 845

Origin: The degree that Paseka is able to turn on her Amanar in 2012. She got better afterwards but the name sticked with her for life.

15. Mattie Larson - 冷宫怨妇 - Unwanted bitter women

Origin: Not a very good translation, but its hard to be translated :/. 冷宫 is a place in ancient China where the emperor’s least popular mistress are kept, whereas 怨妇 means very bitter women. The term started after her falls on floor in the 2007 team final, and rumours had it that Marta had enough of her and is never gonna use her ever. So in that sense I guess the nickname captured what happened pretty well :/.

16. Zhang Nan - 巨星 - Super star/Icon

Origin: Netizens just don’t understand why Zhang Nan is so well-liked by the judges, even when the fans think she did her skills poorly in some cases. And then somebody said the famous line that “because she’s a super star” and then KABOOM everybody used it to mock her. There are also variant terms such as Zhang Nan’s late-as-always Ono on bars, called the “star turn”, and a falling LOSO mount on beam, called the “star mount”.

BONUS:

Deng Linlin - noun. - a unit used to measure the extent of one’s leg separation.

Example: Liukin’s cowboying on her double front is so bad its like 1.5 Deng Linlin.

And....thats about all that I can think of, against, please don’t be offended if some of your favs are on the list, most of these terms are meant as bad jokes, and some of them have shifted in their connotations so much even the fans start to use it. To conclude, I wish all of you have a nice laugh after reading this! I mayyyy do a second issue of this if I have more :)

#gymternet

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cromulentbookreview · 5 years

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NeverDarkGodsNightGraveDawn

Never flinch.

Never fear.

And never, ever forget.

Oh shit, I flinched. Sorry. Can we start over?

I’m a huge fan of Jay Kristoff’s collaborations with Amie Kaufman - The Illuminae Files and Aurora Rising are some of my most favorite books ever - so it seemed weird that I hadn’t read any of Kristoff’s other stuff. I’d heard of Nevernight (it’s kind of hard not to if you hand around on book twitter) and I had the first two books on my Kindle, I just hadn’t read them yet. When I snapped up the eARC of Darkdawn and thought to myself: maybe I should actually read these and see what all the fuss is about. People on the internet seem very, very passionate about their love for the Nevernight Chronicle, after all.

Also, if there’s a nerdy bandwagon, I’m bound to join. I like to be included.

So - The Nevernight Chronicle! I just spent the past couple of weeks binge reading through all three books (yes, weeks, I’m slow, OK?), and...holy shit. Like. Really, holy shit.

There is a pretty basic litmus test I’ve devised to determine whether or not someone will like The Nevernight Chronicle. If you want to know if you’ll like The Nevernight Chronicle, ask yourself this: do you like Game of Thrones? Does all the gory violence, graphic sex, and foul language of Game of Thrones not faze you? In fact, does it - gasp! - lend an aspect of realism to the fantastical setting? In fact, do you have a Game of Thrones shaped hole in your life right now now that the TV series has ended and the wait for The Winds of Winter seems endless? Well, then, I’ve the book series for you, Gentlefriends! There is less rape, incest and violence against women in these books, too!

And if you want blood n’ guts n’ gore galore, you shall not be disappointed. Our protagonist, Mia Corvere, hardly goes five pages in any of the three books without stabbing or slashing or punching or otherwise causing someone some form of grievous bodily harm and/or death. While swearing. And smoking. And displaying a general bad attitude.

These books are definitely not for everyone. If you don’t like blood n’ guts n’ gore and foul language and snarky characters, then you won’t like The Nevernight Chronicle. That’s fine, you don’t have to read anything you don’t like and I’m not going to make you.

You’re missing out, though. Seriously.

So! The Nevernight Chronicle! The three books are essentially the tale of the roaring rampage of revenge of a girl named Mia Corvere. When she was ten years old, her beloved father, Dairus Corvere, was hanged as a traitor to the Itreyan Republic. Counsel Julius Scaeva, leader of the republic, then had Mia’s mother and baby brother thrown in prison, where they later died. As for Mia, Scaeva had her put in a barrel to be thrown into a canal, but not before his lackey, Justicus Remus, brutally murders Mia’s beloved cat, Captain Puddles. RIP Captain Puddles, you deserved better even though you weren’t a real cat.

(What I imagine Captain Puddles would’ve been like, had he not been tragically murdered by a mad Australian).

Mia, of course, escapes the barrel, with the help of a living shadow taking the form of a cat, whom she names Mr. Kindly. She takes refuge with a foul-mouthed, foul-tempered shopkeep named Mercurio, who happens to be a member of a church of assassins. Once she’s old enough, Mia heads off to join the Red Church and become a blade (assassin) so that she can acquire the skills to get her revenge on Julius Scaeva.

That’s the main plot of Nevernight, poorly explained and in a nutshell. I’ve mentioned before that I’m not big on assassin stories, but I enjoyed Nevernight mainly because both the writing and the characters were so full of snark. I’m willing to overlook a great deal if there’s a high level of snark involved.

Anyway! In the second book in the series, Godsgrave, Mia discovers that the Red Church and its cohort of assassins isn’t all that she thought it was, so she hatches the world’s most insane plan: she’ll sell herself into slavery, become a gladiatii, and fight her way to the ultimate championship where, if she wins, she’ll get a chance to murder both Scaeva and his partner-in-crime/frenemy, Cardinal Duomo, at the same time.

Of course nothing goes according to plan. Which leads us, finally, to book three: Darkdawn!

It’s tough reviewing the last book of a series if you’re not certain if anyone reading said review has read the first or second books*. I’m just going to proceed as if you’ve already read the books, because, otherwise, there’s a ton of shit I didn’t cover in those “in a nutshell” descriptions of Nevernight and Godsgrave. Like the whole Crown of the Moon thing, the conflict between the goddess Niah and god Aa, or the fact that Itreya has three suns and night only falls once every two and a half years. Or, really, anything about Mia and her Darkin powers or the nature of Mr. Kindly...

But if you’re already a fan and are desperate for some Darkdawn details, you’re probably already eager for me to just get on with it already.

Right-o, then.

So, with all the worldbuilding and anticipation Kristoff built up with Nevernight and Godsgrave, does Darkdawn give us a satisfying conclusion to the story of Mia Corvere?

O, yes, gentlefriend.

Yes it does.

It delivers all that and more. I wonder just how much preparation Kristoff put into these books because every lingering question you have from the first two books is answered. You’re not left hanging.

Yes, basically.

And, let us not forget, that this one of those series where the author promised on page 1 that Mia would die. And thanks to Jay “Meet Your New Favorite Oh Wait They’re Dead” Kristoff, there are plenty of moments in Darkdawn that feel as a little something like this:

Darkdawn absolutely lives up to all the promises made in the first two books - there’s plenty of action, plenty of blood and violence and tastefully written smut. And footnotes!** The book starts right where we left off in Godsgrave - no weird time-jumps, no flash-forwards followed by flashbacks like the first two books, we begin with Mia immediately after the Magni.

After the maps and Dramatis Personae, of course.

In all honesty, though, there’s not much I can say without spoiling everything. But if you’re a fan of the books, rest assured, you will not be disappointed. Everything you’ve been wanting out of a finale for this series you get. Answers, action, pirates, stabbings, sexytimes, pools full of a God’s blood, angry camels, undead ex-lovers, eye gouging, treks across the Ashkahi Whisperwastes, cigarillo smoke, Mr. Kindly and Eclipse bitching at each other, and, you guessed it, more stabbings! Because this is the grand finale of Nevernight we’re talking about. Truedark is here, people. Prepare yourselves!

You are in for one hell of a book.

Oh, hey, by the way: are you aware that the Nevernight Chronicle is not YA? Because, even though it’s very popular with the YA crowd and Kristoff does write other books that are YA, Nevernight is not YA. As Jay Kristoff will tell you, over and over and over and over and over again, it’s not. These are adult books for intended for adults. It’s why, when I go to Powell’s, I find them in the Gold Room, not the Rose Room. If you are an adult with teenage children and you don’t want them reading Nevernight, well, then, you need to do a better job of policing their reading material. You’re the adult in this situation, after all.

To review: if you don’t want your children reading certain books, whose responsibility is it? Mine? No. Yours? Absolutely. And if your kids start checking out forbidden books behind your back to read on the sly, well...that’s your problem. It’s not the librarian’s problem, or the bookseller’s problem and it is most certainly not Jay Kristoff’s problem either. Ask yourself: why does my kid want to read these books so bad that they’re willing to go behind my back? Perhaps its the allure of the forbidden combined with teenage rebellion?

Seriously, my parents never policed what I read, and I turned out just fine. In fact, the only thing my unhindered book consumption led to was a master’s degree in Library Science and a dumb tumblr blog. Don’t worry, neither of these conditions are fatal. I knew kids in Junior High who were reading Stephen King books and, gasp shock, they turned out fine. None of those kids who read It at that age started killing children in rural Maine while dressed as a clown. I’m sure most teens who read Nevernight won’t immediately start smoking cigarillos and run off to join an assassin school, either. Calm the fuck down.

Also, you should watch Black Books.

Back to the review - if this can even be considered a “review” anymore - if I have any complaints about the Nevernight Chronicle it has mostly to do with the world itself. How are there still colors? How can you have color in a world with three - three! - suns? How does everything not immediately become sun-bleached? I mean, with three suns there must be a massive amount of high energy photons pouring down from the sky all the damn time, and eventually violet and ultraviolet light will disrupt chromophore bonds and, well, bleaching anything of color. I mean, American flags on the moon turned into white rectangles pretty quick (before being destroyed by time and being on the moon, of course) and I’ve had to learn the hard way not to shelve books in front of my window, even though there’s shelf space right below said window and it looks real nice and oh shit what happened to all these books’ covers??

Luke Skywalker should be careful staring at those two suns.

Also, how would anyone still have milk pale skin in a world with three suns? Wouldn’t everyone’s skin be much darker? I mean, for all the time Mia spends out under the suns without a hat, she should have freckles. Or melanoma. In fact, everyone in Itreya should have melanoma. And white hair. My hair turns several shades lighter every summer. How can Mia have black hair? Also, having black hair in a world with three suns sounds super uncomfortable. Three suns? Jesus, I’m super pale and have a hard enough time under the one. I’ve got seasonal freckles. Seriously, they appear during the Summer then fade away in the Fall. I got sunburned just reading about Itreya’s three suns. Granted, I was reading the books while outside, sitting under a tree and then the tree’s shadow moved with the sun and I didn’t...

And! AND! How would anyone be able to see? How would you even survive being exposed to that much sunlight? How can albinos like Adonai and Marielle even exist in a world with three suns???

See, this is what happens when I start thinking of things in terms of science when I should just be like “you know what, it’s a story, I’m just going to sit back and enjoy it.”

Also, who am I kidding, Library Science isn’t a real science.

RECOMMENDED FOR: fans of violent, foul-mouthed teenage assassins who solve their problems by stabbing them; people who don’t mind a bit of gore followed by some smut followed by snark followed by more gore.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: If you don’t fall into any categories mentioned in the “recommended for” you should probably read something else.

OVERALL SERIES RATING: 4.5/5 (minus .5 for all those times you get your heart ripped out)

DARKDAWN U.S. RELEASE DATE: September 3, 2019

VERY ACCURATE MIA CORVERE GIF:

CAT RATING:

* Ahahahaha no one reads this blog, I’m kidding myself.

**All those bitching about the use of footnotes in the Nevernight Chronicle should check out Susanna Clarke’s amazing Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell. She has footnotes that go on for entire pages. She has entire plotlines living in those footnotes! The footnotes in Strange and Norrell make Nevernight’s footnotes look like citations in a high school book report.

Also, if you don’t like the footnotes, go with the audiobook. The narrator (Holter Graham) manages to blend the footnotes into the narration in a way that kind of freaked me out at first because I just started listening to the audio, and didn’t realize the books even had footnotes. This is what I get for not even bothering to flip through a physical copy of the books before starting the audiobook at work***

***Inappropriate places to listen to the Nevernight audiobook: work. Especially during the scenes featuring sexytimes. I was wearing headphones, but still!

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helenofsimblr · 7 years

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Unusual Asks? ANSWERED!

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

Spotify.

2. is your room messy or clean?

Um… messy…

3. what color are your eyes?

Blue

4. do you like your name? why?

I like it because I feel it suits me. I look and feel like a Helen

5. what is your relationship status?

Marriaged!

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

Forceful, pleasant, jovial

7. what color hair do you have?

Blonde

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

A crapbox, that is red

9. where do you shop?

At a shop, or on the internet.

10. how would you describe your style?

Non-existent mostly.

11. favorite social media account

Social media bugs me greatly. But I do like Tumblr.

12. what size bed do you have?

The biggest I can get because I am massive

13. any siblings?

Yes two.

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

Probably Australia because its warm and they have some great proper 4x4’s there.

15. favorite snapchat filter?

Geofilter I think

16. favorite makeup brand(s)

Max factor

17. how many times a week do you shower?

7 at least.

18. favorite tv show?

Game of Thrones

19. shoe size?

12 (13 in US size) I have Acromegaly.

20. how tall are you?

6 foot 7 (I had Acromegaly as a child, aka… Gigantism.)

21. sandals or sneakers?

Sneakers because I really don’t like people seeing my huge feet.

22. do you go to the gym?

4 times a week.

23. describe your dream date

Going to a great film followed up by bowling and possibly a nightcap.

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

I have a purse not a wallet.

25. what color socks are you wearing?

Black

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

Just one

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

Im a mathematician and I work on complex theoretical and algebraic problems at university level.

28. how many friends do you have?

4 or 5 really good ones.

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

Lied over money

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

Vanilla

31. 3 favorite boy names

Kane, Gregory, and Hugo.

32. 3 favorite girl names

Penelope, Marie, and Elaine.

33. favorite actor?

Samuel L Jackson motherf****r!

34. favorite actress?

Melissa McCarthy.

35. who is your celebrity crush?

Mark Ruffalo.

36. favorite movie?

This changes, literally weekly….

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

I don’t read enough. 1984 by George Orwell is probably one of my all time faves.

38. money or brains?

Brains, as you can use brains to earn money.

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

“Giganta.”

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

Lost count! I have a season ticket almost for my pituitary check ups.

41. top 10 favorite songs

I get around – beach boys.

Iris – Goo Goo Dolls

What makes you beautiful – One direction

Right round – Flo Rida

Keep on loving you – Reo Speedwagon.

Manicure – Lady Gaga

Broadway – Goo goo dolls again.

Pray To God – Haim

Duel of the Fates – John Williams (not a song, but… meh its good!)

Oh Boy! – Buddy Holly

42. do you take any medications daily?

Yes, anti-growth hormone tabs!

I used to take medication for Ulcerative Colitis.

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

Bit oily, due to the Acromegaly again.

44. what is your biggest fear?

Not going to answer this one. I don’t even want to see it in print.

45. how many kids do you want?

Three

46. whats your go to hair style?

Just down usually

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

Medium sized, not too big not too small. Nice garden and a place to park the car

48. who is your role model?

Don’t have one these days, role models tend to let you down.

49. what was the last compliment you received?

I was told that I did very good work just a few hours ago.

50. what was the last text you sent?

“The drive in the chevy was interesting, love you xx”

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

About 5.

52. what is your dream car?

Range Rover Sport with supercharged V8 510HP engine.

53. opinion on smoking?

I used to think poorly of it! I started smoking 3 years ago when I was 27 ish… I don’t smoke much, maybe just 3 to 5 cigs a day on average, some days I don’t smoke at all, other days, as much as 8 or 9.

54. do you go to college?

I work at one!

55. what is your dream job?

Am currently doing it!

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

Suburbs, I need decent broadband.

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Not intentionally, but sometimes in a packing frenzy, you know how it is everything gets chucked in.

58. do you have freckles?

No.

59. do you smile for pictures?

I do yes, not sure if smiling makes me look better or not.

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

About 80, had a deletion fest the other day!

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

I have.

62. do you still watch cartoons?

I do!!

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Yuck. I would rather eat a box of mud.

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

Mayo!

65. what do you wear to bed?

PJ’s in winter, a nightie in summer.

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

Im afraid not.

67. what are your hobbies?

I like playing video games, I am a keen cook and love to cook and create new dishes. I am a bit of a car buff so I like to do that as well.

68. can you draw?

Stickmen count as drawing right?

69. do you play an instrument?

I don’t sadly.

70. what was the last concert you saw?

I avoid going to them as I hate crowds.

71. tea or coffee?

Coffee

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Starbucks

73. do you want to get married?

Already am

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

Don’t have a crush, am married.

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

I did

76. what color looks best on you?

Black is good on me, so is blue I do look ok in blue

77. do you miss anyone right now?

Not right now.

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Open

79. do you believe in ghosts?

For somebody who deals with facts and figures I struggle a lot with belief as such, but yeah, I do believe in spirits and ghosts and such. Throughout history there is a lot of compelling evidence for their existence.

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

Anti-smoking comments. I get a LOT of these being a late starter and it annoys the heck out of me. Especially as it was desperation for relief from ulcerative colitis that led me to start!

81. last person you called`

My boss

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

Vanilla

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

Regular

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

Rainbow, I love lots of colour.

85. what shirt are you wearing?

Not wearing a shirt.

86. what is your phone background?

Just a random picture that changes everyday, might be a picture of my hub, or maybe a picture of us on holiday, changes constantly.

87. are you outgoing or shy?

Id say outgoing.

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

Sometimes yes.

89. do you like your neighbors?

Mostly, but we can get a lot of noise sometimes.

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

At night.

91. have you ever been high?

I can honestly say I have not.

92. have you ever been drunk?

Many many many times.

93. last thing you ate?

Chocolate.

94. favorite lyrics right now

Can’t think of any.

95. summer or winter?

Summer

96. day or night?

Day

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

White chocolate.

98. favorite month?

July

99. what is your zodiac sign

Leo

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

Other half.

#questions #100 #lots of questions

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intellectualth0t · 7 years

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For everyone who always wondered...

Among many questions I get asked often, one of them is something along the lines of wondering why my blog URL is "breakingamish" Yes, just like the reality show that followed around a bunch of amish teenagers as they went into the "real world" for the first time. Basically, I grew up not having a lot. I don't want to say that I came from a poor family, but we definitely experienced (mostly financial-based) struggles throughout our lives. From a young age, I was constantly reminded that basically everything I had was a luxury and not a privilege, because we could only afford so much to stay alive. Although it was incredibly frustrating to grow up watching all my classmates & friends enjoy these super cool, new, gadgets and toys and whatnot, I'm actually extremely glad I was raised under such extremely humble circumstances. If I hadn't spend most of my life not knowing what it's like to have "a lot", I'd probably be a spoiled, difficult, whiny, privileged, ungrateful imbecile now. Long story short: my family has always been living somewhere along the lines of "poor". Our financial situations fluctuate. Sometimes we're well off, sometimes we hit rock bottom. Middle school in particular was on of those times. Middle school alone is an extremely difficult time in most people's lives. Hormones lose their sense of direction as you spend three years transitioning from a child to an adult and as a result, drastic changes occur. Your childhood best friend is no longer your best friend. You're too big and old for the kid's clothing section, yet you're not mature and developed enough for the juniors/adults. You're head over heels insane over a boy/girl even though you're probably not even allowed to date (if you had parents like mine). You're endlessly trying to be cool & friendly with everyone in order to avoid being bullied because you know you're still too sensitive to maturely handle any form/level of harassment. Bottom line: Middle school was an ugly, cringey time when everyone thought popularity mattered. Everyone had an iPhone. Everyone had Abercrombie jeans. Everyone had countless pairs of Nikes and Sperry's. Every girl had her notebooks & folders tucked away in a Vera Bradley backpack. Everyone was staying up late messaging each other on facebook. Everyone was obsessing over the most recent episode of Pretty Little Liars or Teen Wolf. This ugly, cringey era of middle school revolved around materialism. Brand-names were everything. The newest forms of technology were everything. But what did I know about materialism? Nothing bc I was poor lol. My house didn't have air conditioning (it actually still doesn't), an oven, or a laundry dryer, and our refrigerator was 27 years old (I too, am surprised that appliances could possibly last so long). We didn't have cable or internet, and I didn't have a cell phone- part of this was because we simply couldn't afford one for me, another part was because my parents believed I "didn't need one" at 13. At this time, our family only had one car that barely worked & transporting to work/school was a bigger struggle than it should've been for what seemed like a basic, average, suburban family. But we were not a basic, average suburban family. We were falling apart financially. Often times, I'd get asked why I didn't have a cell phone or why my family didn't have a working car or why I didn't use my nonexistent computer for a homework assignment. As opposed to telling everyone I was poor, I turned it into a huge joke & settled for telling everyone I was amish, and therefore not allowed to use technology. For some extremely strange reason, people actually took me seriously and proceeded to believe that I was legitimately Amish. What did I do? I played along with it. I added fuel to the fire by agreeing & making up a bunch of stories about my holy life on a farm whenever I'd have people coming up to me asking "oh my god, you're REALLY amish??" I thoroughly enjoyed the gullibility of my classmates- and even a few teachers. Telling everyone about my made-up life in a religious, rural community became a pastime. I eventually took the joke so far that on the last day of 8th grade, I arrived at school modestly dressed as an Amish/prairie girl. It was oddly satisfying to walk down the halls & watch everyone's head turn as they gawked at my unusual attire, along with hearing constant whispers of "isn't that the amish girl??" "Whoa, I didn't realize she actually was amish!!" (Side note: I didn't even eg dress coded because teachers and administrators were gullible as well, and also believed that I was Amish). But I wasn't amish, I was just a poor 14 year old girl with an extraordinarily clever & practical sense of humor who was trying to make the best out of a difficult situation that had been going on for a long time. For a period of time, my life revolved around amish-jokes. It was later into this period of time when I made a tumblr (after my family got internet & I was able to afford my own laptop). I chose the URL "breakingamish" because not only was it unique and not already taken, but it was hilariously relevant to my current situation. Internet access was one of the first few steps/milestones that eased me out of the "amish" life I had satirized (I'm still far from rich, but at least now I have a computer and cell phone, and my house now has recent appliances).

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transcrypttid · 6 years

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1 through 3 and 9 through 14 for the ⚢ one 💛🌻💛🍋

1. Dream girl + Dream date?

2. Would you say that you have a “type”? Have you ever crushed on anyone who’s not your type?

3. What feature do you find to be the most attractive? What do you consider to be your most attractive feature?

9. Did you identify as something different before realising that you were a lesbian? What made you realise

10. Have you ever accidentally outed yourself?

11. Least favorite lesbian stereotype? Do you fit any lesbian stereotypes?

12. When did you first come out? Was it planned? How did it go? What advice do you have for people who are planing on coming out?

13. Least favorite homophobic Tumblr discourse topic?

14. Favorite baby gay story?

oh fuuuuuuuuuuuck dude this is gonna be a fun one

1: uhh dream girl ??? a girl that loves and cares for me and like, idk, likes me a lil bit?? oh shit she gotta be cuddly as fuck and i just … love women,,,, okay dream date is a picnic in september by a lake and just like…. idk cute shit

2: i definitely have a type, and since i’ve only dated one girl, yes i have had crushes outside of my type, lol

3: oh fuuuuck idk man ive never thought about it ….. uhhh i really love eyes and uhh not to be horny on main but lips ?? damn im g a y …… and i think my best feature is my eyes/eyelashes like i love my eyes and eyelashes lmao

9: Yea i did ! i identified as bisexual for about 3 years, and what changed was actually a post on here haha. the run down was that “if you “could tolerate or endure” a relationship with a man, then you’re probably a lesbian and heres why” and it just went into all this about how you dont ever HAVE to be in a relationship with a man (if you live where i live, are privileged, etc) if you dont want to be. that sentence literally turned my world upside down, because i literally thought for 3 years of my life that i would tolerate a straight relationship if i had to. but i DIDNT HAVE TO. and now im a lesbian and its great.

10: oh yea of course. once i made a gay joke, the second time i made one in front of my moms side of the family, and the other was when i was on the phone w my boyfriend at the time and he said smth homophobic and i said “dont be an asshole youre dating one” and uh. that ended quickly, thank god. so, in short, YUP.

11: that we’re predatory. and yes, i do. short hair, sporty, likes to garden.

12: ooookay this one is … fun.im gonna tell the two that impacted me the most, and i kinda consider them both to be the “first time” based on reactions. the very first time i came out, i was on the phone w a friend of mine at like 2:30 in the morning, sobbing my eyes out, and i just said “i think i like girls” and he was like “yea duh of course you do”. it was completely unplanned and i was a hysterical mess, and it went great. he was very supportive and kind and listened to me talk about it to no end, and i’ll always be grateful for that. the second, but most uncomfortable time i came out was when i told my parents, in almost the same fashion. crying uncontrollably, shaking, a mess, and then yelling “i think im gay”. it ended well in the long run, but it took my parents a few days to look me in the eyes. i learned later that it wasn’t because they didn’t accept me, it was because they were scared for my life, as i live in rural mississippi. my advice is, no matter what, do it safely and when you’re ready. do it when youre absolutely sure you’ll be safe, and only, ONLY do it when you feel the time is right. i know everyone says that but it seriously is the best advice i could give.

13: oh god theres…. so many. listen, im gonna come out and say it, im an ace inclusionist. that discourse, about aces not inherently being lgbt, is my least favorite. i understand where people are coming from, but why gatekeep when we can fight for our rights and to be accepted together. and honestly, nobody cares outside of the internet so i personally feel like all the people wasting their time talking about it and being angry should jus t….. go outside.

14: OH SHIT this one makes my heart so warm to think about okay…. so the first time i watched the Hunchback of Notre Dam, i literally fell head over heels for Esmeralda. like, no joke, was obsessed with her. drew pictures, got dolls, did everything i could to show my absolute adoration of Esmeralda. i didnt realize until waaaaaaaaaay after i came out that it was me, exhibiting lots of gay when i was like… idk, five. my favorite baby gay story to date. theres probably better ones, but if there are, i cant remember them.

holy shit this was a long one but it was SO FUN to answer, and once again, honey, i love you from the bottom of my toes to the very tip of my head.

ask me stuff about being a lesbian !!!

#ask #answered #ask me #i loveu so much honey

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