#oh and Eileen too omg very excited for that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

astranva · 4 years

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harry’s child being jealous about the new baby getting all the attention and he has to reassure her that he loves them both the same 😔💔

Title: Pinky Promise

Word Count: 2.7k

Category: Slight angst, Fluff dad!Harry

Warnings: A couple of F words.

I loved writing that omg my heart😪❤

You remember 4 years ago, in September of 2016 when you told Harry you were pregnant. Well, technically, you shouted it out.

Both of you being fans of Adele, you had decided to attend her show in Madison Square Garden.

Harry was already working on his debut album and knew he needed a break, especially when he was a nervous wreck.

You remember it all starting with your lack of appetite then suddenly feeling like eating everything and anything edible. You blamed it on hormones, until morning sickness happened. If there was one thing you absolutely loathed, it was nausea. You remember waking up to churn and throw up, your throat only hurting and your muscles aching due to the fact that your body had already digested the food you had eaten the night before and you hadn’t had anything to eat yet that morning, but your body still felt the need to make you run to stick your head inside the toilet bowl.

The first 3 days it happened, you were alone, with Harry being in the studio after leaving you notes that told you about his whereabouts and that he loved you and couldn’t wait to see you.

Not wanting to trouble his inspiration and progress, you only told him that you had an upset stomach every time he questioned why you looked sick.

You remember one day, after Harry was out with Jeff, that you called your best friend and had them bring you a pregnancy test, choosing to avoid any tabloid-talk.

Your heart was thumping, palms sweaty, nausea already kicking in as you waited after following the instructions.

And then it happened; a cry of surprise, eyes growing tearful as one hand was clasped on your mouth while the other held the test tightly – pregnant.

You knew that Harry loved a lot of people, a lot of things, a lot of abstract ideas, like love. You knew he loved kids, and he had often talked to you about them, telling you that he saw you and him starting a family.

It was why after you knew and had checked up at the obstetrician’s and knew that you were 3 weeks pregnant, you were giddy and excited to let Harry know but had decided to do it in a different setting.

Four days after your OB visit, you and Harry were in Madison Square Garden, singing along with Adele.

You were standing in front of Harry, back against his front, his arms wrapped around your waist, your hand holding on to his arms, his chin on your shoulder as you both swayed with Sweetest Devotion.

It was when you moved just a little to the side, still in his arms, to look at him, Harry looked down at you, singing to you.

“I'm heading straight for you. You will only be eternally, the one that I belong to.”

He gently nudged your forehead with his, pecking your lips. He pulled back slowly, smiling down at you.

And then you said it.

“I’m pregnant.”

His eyebrows shot up, leaning closer, “Can’t hear you!”

You grinned, turning in his arms to cup his cheeks softly, “I’m pregnant! 3 weeks pregnant!”

His world had stopped, eyes going wide as his mouth formed an O, “Y/N, are you joking?!” He had asked with a laugh of surprise, his lips stretching into a grin as he asked, “Baby, are you for real?”

You nodded as you laughed in glee, moving one hand from his cheek and to your stomach, “You’re going to be a daddy!”

And that was what it took for Harry to break down and cry, tipping his head back as he bit on his lip, nose red and veins showing on his forehead as he cried before wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug, crying into your shoulder.

Tears were flowing from your eyes as you held him, feeling him pull back to rest his forehead on yours, his hands moving to either sides of your neck, “I love you. I love you so fucking much.” He pulled you back in a hug, one hand moving to the back of your head while the other was on your back, bringing you closer to him.

The 9 months of pregnancy were smooth, as well as emotional. Especially since it was in the 2nd month that Harry went down on one knee, somewhen in the morning when you were both preparing breakfast. You turned around to grab the toast, only to see him on one knee, with a blue velvet box in his hand opened to show you the thin, golden ring with a small diamond in the middle that you knew Harry picked carefully with the thought of how you moved minimalist jewelry in his mind.

“I had a speech and – I don’t remember anything from it other than the fact that I have so many songs about you, and some more, and that I am head over heels in love with you. And that you’re carrying a soul inside you that is made from you and I. I just – fuck, Y/N, I can’t imagine a life you’re not in it and just – marry me?”

His eyes were already glossy, lips pink and dimple there for your eyes to see as he pursed his lips before taking a deep breath.

You had let out a cry, hands on where your heart rested, nodding as you cried, “Yes! Yes, oh my- God, yes, please!” And he didn’t get the chance to stand before you threw yourself at him on the floor, hugging him tightly against you.

You also remember the celebration being very low-key, with only close friends and family there at your house. Gemma, as your maid of honor, had taken charge of the decorations, making the backyard of yours and Harry’s shared house well-lit with all the globe bulbs adorning the trees and walls. The moment Harry saw you in your simple white wedding dress, was one that would forever be engraved in everybody who was present’s mind. He had squatted down, hands covering his face in disbelief before they covered his open mouth as he took you in; laughing bashfully as you, too, took him in.

He was in a white suit, pink embroidered flowers on the side of his pants that resembled the headpiece you wore.

Polaroids were taken, all pictures were taken on film, making everything about the night more magical and sentimental, especially with the 6-month bump you walked and danced around with.

The 9 months of your pregnancy were painful, but not too much for you to feel anything but love for how supportive and helpful Harry was, and admiration for your daughter – Eileen Mae Styles.

Since the moment Eileen came into the world, you knew that she had Harry wrapped around her tiny little finger.

Your daughter was attached to both of you, but you were proud of the character and personality she had at such a young age.

When Eileen turned 3, you and Harry took pride in how you could have a conversation with your daughter, even when it was about how pretty Harry’s butterfly tattoo would look if it was colored. Yes, she ended up coloring it, and Harry loved every moment of having his daughter lying on top of him, coloring his tattoo as he lounged on the sofa while she talked to him about how she likes strawberry chapstick.

It was one day when you felt the familiar feelings of nausea and change of appetite, the reminder of the late period only making one question come into your mind.

That time, you mentioned it to your husband as you ate lunch, who had chocked on his food.

Long story short, you were pregnant – again.

“Mummy,” Eileen called you as you, your husband and your daughter sat in your backyard, letting Isla [Eye-la] get her vitamin D.

Harry was reading a book beside you as you both sat on your swing, Eileen playing and running around with her toys, while you wrote in your journal.

“Yeah, bub?”

She ran towards you, putting both hands on your knees as she grinned up at you before looking down at your 8-month pregnant bump, “What’s in here?”

Harry chuckled, putting down his book to watch the conversation more carefully.

“Your baby brother is in here.” You smiled at her.

“But how? Can I sit there, too?”

You and Harry giggled at her question. “You once sat there, Isla. But then you came into the world, 3 years ago.”

Eileen frowned, looking up at you. “I want to go back again.”

You looked at Harry, silently asking him to help you.

He leaned forward, wrapping his hands under his daughter’s armpits before carrying her to make her sit on his lap. “But then your brother won’t have enough space.”

“I don’t care.” She whined, the frown still on her face.

“Your brother needs all the space so he can grow to meet you, and play with you, don’t you want that?” He asked her softly.

“He-he will take my toys.”

“You can share all the toys with him, bub. He’ll share his toys with you, too.” You cooed, almost scared that your daughter wouldn’t like her brother. Something neither you nor Harry had prepared for.

“But-but you and daddy will get more toys for him. I don’t want him.” She said with a whine, crossing her arms against her chest as she looked down, lips starting to quiver.

You and Harry shared a look, before moving back to your 3-year-old.

“Eileen,” Harry called her name gently, watching as she didn’t look up at him, “Honey, look at me, please.” Slowly, Eileen looked up at Harry, letting the both of you see her tearful eyes. “You know mummy and daddy love you and we always will, right?”

“We do love you so much, bub, and nothing will change that,” You assured her, putting one hand on her knee, “Your brother is also very excited to meet you. He loves you, too.”

“Weren’t you excited the other day to show him your room?” Harry asked, rubbing her back gently.

“Yeah.” She mumbled.

“You have a lot to show him and teach him. You can be his first best friend, isn’t that nice?”

As if she was absorbing what you said, Eileen nodded slowly.

“We love you, Isla. Forever.” Harry said, leaning to press a kiss against her temple.

Turning to look at her dad, Eileen uncrossed her arms to raise up her two pinkies, one reaching out to you, the other for Harry, “Promise?”

It felt as though your heart melted right there and then as you latched your pinky with hers, watching Harry do the same.

“Promise.”

But nobody told you about the hell you’d go through when your daughter was jealous of her new bother, Elio.

The moment Eileen entered the hospital room, holding hands with Gemma, and looking at you as you lied on the hospital bed with Elio right at your side, eyes open as he moved his limbs around, making baby noises, you knew that she wasn’t very welcoming.

Harry was sat on the other side of his son, hand playing with your hair as to comfort you after the pain you went through, and as a simple nonverbal way to thank you. His lips were fixed on the smile his face wore, heart soaring with happiness at the new family addition and the fact that both, his wife and son were healthy.

Eileen looked at her parents, too short to see her brother who was in the middle but hearing him. She was overwhelmed, knowing that she was going to meet her brother.

“Hey, honey!” Harry grinned at her, leaning down a little and opening his arms, hugging her tightly as she ran into them before he pressed a kiss against her cheek, carrying her to place her on his hip, watching as her eyes instantly moved to the newborn baby.

“Meet Elio, bub.” You said tiredly but with a smile on your face, watching your daughter and hoping she would take the new change lightly.

Well, you hoped.

But Eileen had broken into fits of crying, straight out wailing as she threw herself on Harry, leaning her head on his shoulder.

The close family and friends in the room all pouted and cooed, watching the scene.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Harry asked urgently, rubbing his daughter’s back.

“I don’t love him.” Eileen dragged as she cried, wrapping her arms around Harry’s neck.

Your heart broke, the small smile falling as you looked at Harry in worry.

As if his sister’s cries triggered him, your smallest, Elio, began crying. You sat up, taking him gently in your arms and placing him against your chest, softly hushing him and supporting the back of his head as you looked at Harry, almost pleading him to do anything.

Understanding, Harry stood with Eileen latched onto him, holding her as he walked out of the room and walking down the hall, softly and gently bouncing his daughter to calm her.

“Come on, Isla, please calm down.” He cooed, adding a sigh at the situation he and his wife were in. “Why don’t you love Elio?”

Eileen sniffled, pulling back but keeping her head down, one hand moving to poke at Harry’s pearl necklace – which you and Eileen made him – as she replied, “Nobody will love me anymore.”

Harry sat down on a chair, still holding his daughter just the same. “What makes you say that?”

“Because-because-because he is little, and he needs more attention and I will have no more.”

Harry took a deep breath, letting her words sink it. While it was true that his youngest needed necessary and a lot of attention, he didn’t know how to explain to his oldest that that wasn’t how it goes.

“When you were just a little baby,” He began, looking down at her, “Mummy and Daddy were all over the place. You cried when we were asleep, threw up on us a lot,” Harry chuckled to himself, remembering these moments and taking notice of how it all felt like it was only the day before, “You wanted Mummy and Daddy with you all the time. And we never left you,” He concluded, “So what makes you think that will leave you now, Honey?”

Eileen didn’t reply.

“Your brother still can’t talk. He can’t say when he’s hurt like you do, he doesn’t even know how your favorite blueberry pancakes taste like. And we need to make sure that he does all that, exactly like you. But here’s the thing,” As though he was telling her a secret, Harry leaned to whisper in her ear, “Mummy and Daddy can’t do alone. We can’t do it without you.”

Eileen slowly looked up at Harry, face losing its frown.

“We promised, Isla. We promised to love you forever. Have we ever broken a promise?” He asked, watching her shake her head, “And we won’t. So what do you say? Can you, please, give your brother the chance he needs? He’s actually quite funny.” Harry smiled at her.

“Funnier than you?” She asked.

Harry laughed, “Way funnier! You just have to keep a close eye.”

Eileen giggled quietly.

“Mummy is really excited for you to meet Elio, you know? Was telling me all about the numbers you can teach him, all the photos we’re going to take of the both of you. What he’ll get you for Christmas.”

“Can he get me a book about stars? With pictures?” She asked excitedly.

Harry grinned, peppering her face with kisses and hearing her giggle, fully knowing that it was one of his most favorite sounds, “You tell him.”

Once he stopped, Eileen let out a sigh, her shoulder slumping. “Fine, Daddy. I will try.”

“Thank you.” He smiled gratefully, “How about we go back?”

The moment a knock sounded on the door before you saw your husband with your daughter in his arms, you didn’t know what to expect.

Looking shy and bashful, Eileen clung onto Harry as he returned to his spot after sharing a look with Anne, as if telling her that he would tell her later.

Elio was back in his spot as well, going back to his noises.

Eileen looked down at him once again, finally taking notice of how tiny his hands were and feeling curious. Reluctantly, she leaned down a little, intending to poke his hand softly.

But the moment she touched his hand, was the moment Elio wrapped his hand around her finger, making her grin. “He’s holding my finger!” She squealed as she giggled, “You’re right, Daddy. He is funny.”

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spnreactions · 4 years

Text

Alright! Let’s get started!

This is actually copied and pasted from my main blog, where I posted this last night. From here on out, though, I’ll be posting them on here first and then re-blogging them on my main blog, because I can.

And, fair warning, I get very excited and very into this show, so the reactions list will probably be pretty long. XD

And now, without further ado, let’s watch 15x14: Last Holiday. <3 <3

Oh we’re starting!

...did I miss the “then” title card?

Oh wait there it is.

Dude we’re going FAR back on this “then”. I wonder what that means?

My poor baby crying again. :(

DEAN’S APRON OH MY GOD I’M DEAD! XD XD <3 <3

“It was. In the 50s.” Point taken.

My poor baby. :( :( :( :(

Oh so killing Amara is officially a plan? Okay then.

“I’ve killed Hitler.” I can’t believe he’s still talking about that! XD

Actually I can believe he’s still talking about it, I take that back.

DEAN WITH THE MARIO BROTHERS OMG!!

Okay, I know this episode has something to do with them celebrating holidays because of a fairy or nymph or something like that, and this is already feeling like a light-hearted, fun, domestic Winchesters episode. I hope it stays that way. <3

Have you tried turning it back off and turning it on again? Hit reset.

HE READ MY MIND!

MEAT MAN!! XD XD

Ummm...okay then.

Also SCOOBY-DOO UNDIES!!! DEAN YOU DORK!! XD XD <3

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Jack is my favorite and Dean is my second-favorite.

“Language!” “That’s it I’m getting my gun.” XD XD

I can already tell that so many of my reactions are probably just gonna be me quoting and then laughing. XD

They don’t seem very concerned? Shouldn’t random people not be able to get in?

This lady is such a mom omg.

Mrs. Butters? XD

Wood nymph. Got it.

“Shouldn’t you be in the woods somewhere? Nymphing?” XD XD (P.S. That was my mom’s favorite line in this episode. XD)

You what now?

Necessities of life?

Hmmm….I like her, but she weirds me out. Something is off.

Dean’s “oof that’s awkward” face. XD

“2020.” Hearing that year said out loud just feels...oof. Just oof.

Poor nymph…

Wait, haven’t we seen those symbols before? Maybe I’m making that up.

HA! “It’s kind of been one apocalypse after the other.” He’s not kidding.

OOOOH!! HERE COME THE HOLIDAYS!!!

WAIT WHAT IS THAT TELESCOPE THING?

WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT??!! A MONSTER radar??!! Dude WHAT?! Man, they’ve needed something like that for YEARS!

Wait wait wait...relatively nearby….it’s not gonna ping because of Jack is it?? SHE’S NOT GONNA HURT JACK IS SHE??!!

Oh okay nevermind. Just a vamp nest.

Say what now?

We can...that just...umm...okay then??

“Heck...heck yeah.” XD XD XD

Yeah I’m with Sam on this one. She seems innocent, but, like…

Dean does have a point though.

But also things like this never last. It’s too good to be true.

MY BABY!!!

“She’s probably harmless, but just in case, watch yourself”?? Dean that was a terrible way to do that but okay.

Snickerdoodles. XD

My poor baby looks so lost. :(

I mean...Dean makes a good point there. But also the son of Satan is adorable and she’s suspicious. But anyways.

“Ignoring your trauma doesn’t make you healthy.” SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT OMG!!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3

...Jack is hiding something? IS JACK HIDING SOMETHING?!

...do we know what Jack is hiding??

The only thing I can think of is that he knows about Cas’s deal with the empty, but he had a soul when that happened, and it wasn’t really eating at him then. Is it eating at him more now for some reason??

IS JACK HIDING SOMETHING??!!

Jesus christ this is gonna bother me…

Okay but when has that ever actually worked, Dean?

Awww….

I’m guessing they didn’t tell her he’s a nephilim? If they don’t really trust her--which they don’t--they shouldn’t. Is there a chance she knows already? I feel like she wouldn’t be acting like that if she did.

Vamps watching a movie with vamps. Classy. XD

...ew…

At least they’re drinking from bags instead of from humans I guess?

Nice slicing at the same time, boys.

Huh. Well. That was easy. Too easy?

CHRISTMAS! XD <3

THE TRAIN OMG!! XD XD <3 <3

Their faces. XD

HER DANCE!

Okay she’s kind of adorable not gonna lie.

“We are so keeping her.” XD XD

DEAN’S LITTLE EXCITED HANDS ON THE RAILING OMG I’M DEAD!! XD XD <3 <3 <3

If I can’t get adorable Jack right now, I’m okay with adorable Dean. XD <3 <3

Sam is still suspicious, but Dean is totally into it.

“Enjoy the world you’re fighting for.” That was really quick and so subtle, but d*mn that’s a good line.

MY BABY!!!!

HIIIII JACK!!! I MIIIIISSSSSED YOOOOOUUU!!! <3 <3 <3

Uh-oh. I don’t like the way she said “what are you”. DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY BABY!!!

“He’s a millennial.” XD XD

DEAN IN THAT NIGHTGOWN OMG!!! I know it was in the promo photos, but seeing it in the context of the episode is even funnier. XD

Sam’s gagging at his bro’s “down there” bits lol.

Oof. She is VERY absentminded by Jack and whatever he is. No likey.

...hmm. I still don’t trust her with Jack.

“Poppycock”???

HA!! “I’m worried about your cholesterol.”

And Sam and Jack’s little smiles at that omg. <3 <3 <3

“We got one!” IS THAT A HILLYWOOD PARODY REFERENCE/GHOSTBUSTER REFERENCE??!! Because IT FEELS LIKE ONE!!!

The way they’re running to their rooms to get ready omg.

And that cut to them being dressed and going.

LUNCHES!! XD

Their faces! XD

The cinematography in this episode is AWESOME. Go Serge Ladouceur (and yes, I looked that name up. XD)

No crusts. Blessed knives. “I just waxed it.” She IS a mom!

Wait no. Take Jack with you. I don’t trust her with him.

“What shall we do with you.” LEAVE HIM ALONE IS WHAT!

Oh. They’re doing dishes.

WAIT DON’T TELL HER THAT JACK!

...I don’t like the way she’s talking to him.

Oof. Mary. *gags*

Jack you’re adorable and I love you but please stop being so gullible and stop sharing so much personal information.

WAIT NO! I know you feel guilty, but DON’T TELL HER YOU KILLED HER!

...dangat.

...oh. That was actually super sweet, and honestly the EXACT thing Jack needed to hear. ...maybe she’s not so bad?

...wait what? She just...pulls those out of thin air?

Ha! Another hunt

THEIR FACES WITH THE LUNCHES! ESPECIALLY DEAN’S!! XD

Aww! Thanksgiving! <3

Where is Cas during all this? Talking to his angel friends I guess?

That finger gun at Sam omg.

It’s so EASY for them wow.

Halloween! Fitting given our current season.

Their little smiles awww!!

THE BEERS TOGETHER HOLY FRICK!!! IT’S JUST LIKE WHAT TEAM FREE WILL 2.0 DID WHEN JACK CAME BACK! AND what the boys and Mary and John did in Lebanon! NEVER GETS OLD!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!! <3 <3

...I still don’t necessarily trust Mrs. Butters. BUT I LOVE SAM AND DEAN AND JACK!

Those faces for the lunches just get better and better.

GRENADE LAUNCHER!!

MJOLNIR OMG NO WAY!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE HE STILL HAS IT!!! THIS EPISODE HAS SO MANY EASTER EGGS OMG!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Also that is an AWESOME shot.

BIRTHDAY!! Awww… <3 <3

OOF. Poor Dean. XD

Jack’s laugh and then immediately being like “oop” and bringing his head down but still chuckling when Dean glares at him I CAN’T. XD XD

I LOVE THIS FAMILY!! <3 <3 <3

AWW!! She made extra for him!

Okay, I like her. But I’m still cautious.

Oh. THERE it is.

What’s she doing??

Jack’s got you lady.

My mom is wondering why she has to walk away to make another smoothie when before she was just producing them. I’m wondering if maybe she has to near the ingredients to whip it into a smoothie magically, but that seems weird...continuity error?

Get her, Jack. My smart boi. <3 <3

My Mom: “You better hurry it up there, Jack.”

Oh it’s evil Men of Letters dude. NOW I get why we went that far back.

Oh! AND the Thule. NOW I get why Dean mentioned killing Hitler again. Wow. Nice connections on this episode all around. Go writers.

...she did what now?

WTF??!!

HOLY FRICK!!!

HOLY S*** HOLY S*** HOLY S***!!!

Do NOT ask about tea or cookies after you just pulled sh** like that.

On a more positive note, the way Jack just said “son of a bitch” out of nowhere like that is so adorable because he, like, NEVER swears, but also that’s Dean’s saying and it just proves that he’s taking after his dads and just already growing up and AHHHH I LOVE HIM!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

Also Jack please go tell your dads what you found.

Okay so during the commercial break, my mom and I looked up wood nymphs and had this big discussion and here’s kind of what we came up with:

So we were trying to figure out if wood nymphs are supposedly evil, and we didn’t find much, but they do have super strength (which explains her ability to rip off that dude’s head…), and the ability to control wood and nature, which might explain why she can pull smoothies out of thin air.

So then we saw on the SPN Wiki page for this episode that part of the description mentions that the wood nymph would do anything for her family, and that makes me wonder if she has, like, ulterior motives to protect her wood nymph family? But also, she said the Men of Letters were her family, so that translates to Sam and Dean now, right? So theoretically, she wouldn’t hurt them, she’d be trying to protect them. Which means they should be fine, because she only hurts threats. But then my mom pointed out that maybe she considers Jack a threat and that’s a really good point, so now I’m worried all over again. She’s still acting weird with him, and even though I did like that little advice she gave about second chances, maybe it’s all an act? My mom thinks she, like, poisoned his sandwich or something with anti-nephilim juice in order to try to hurt him, but that was before she knew he was a nephilim, right? I don’t know. I think my mom makes a really good point. I hope my baby winds up being okay. :(

Okay. Back to the episode now.

Ahhhhhhhh noooooo. Where are the boys when we need them?

Wait, DATE?? EILEEN??!!

No. He isn’t. Go away.

Sam look at yoooooooouuuu. <3

But also please take a moment to notice how uncomfortable your son is and ask him what’s wrong please and thank you. (And yes, I will keep saying son thank you very much.)

Ha! She wants him to get a haircut just like Dean does. The joke’s about Sam’s (and, by extension, Jared’s) hair will never not be funny.

Ha! “Language.”

YES!! EILEEN!!!

YES SAM!! GO GET YOUR GIRL!!

DEAN! XD

Okay the Sam and Eileen thing is adorable, and Sam and Dean’s banter is hilarious, but guys...look at your son please and thank you. :(

I’m so torn between wanting Sam to just be happy and enjoy himself and wanting him to help Jack ahhhhhh.

Sam can go on his date. I’m sure Dean can handle it.

Roses! Nice touch.

Ha! Dean with the supportive big bro action.

Such. A. Mom.

“Boys.”

Wait nooooooo.

Okay but Alex’s acting right there...tip top. So subtle. Jack is trying so hard to be sneaky and warn Dean about what he saw, and the way Alex is conveying pure panic but also showing how sneaky he’s being is AWESOME.

Also that little “sh*t” or “da**it” or whatever it was that he mouthed? Somehow so cute and makes me so worried at the same time.

“The Dean Cave”?? XD XD

Dean I am BEGGING YOU, please take a cursory glance at your son.

...da**it...

The subtitles say “suspenseful music plays” XD XD

Wait Jack noooo. Don’t go after her alone! Chase Dean instead!!

NOOO!! NOT IN THERE!!!

She’s totally gonna trap him in there.

...what?

She’s being so condescending shut the fudge up.

What? No.

Does he still not have a soul? Is that what he’s hiding? That wouldn’t make sense.

Oh wait. I get it now.

HE IS NOT!!! SHUT THE FUDGE UP LADY!!

LADY STOOOOOP! HE DOESN’T NEED YOUR SH**!! HE ALREADY FEELS GUILTY WOULD YOU QUIT IT??!! :’( :’( :’( :’(

HEY! NOT COOL!

I HOPE SOMEONE RIPS YOUR HEAD OFF B***H!!

They’re not. They know he won’t now.

SHUT UP LADY!!

HEY!!! STOP IT!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

TAKE HER DOWN JACK!!!

He IS family!

...ummm...what??

GOD DA**IT!!

...my mom literally just said “told you so” about the poisoning. ...which also explains why she walked away to make another smoothie, because she WANTED him to find the video, says my mom. And yes, my mom was right, AND I HATE IT!! SCREW YOU LADY!! LEAVE MY BABY ALONE!!

It IS safe you B**CH!!

HE’S NOT A MONSTER!!! :’( :’( :’(

DA**IT!! DEAN PLEASE DO SOMETHING!!

Ha! He’s so excited about the sandwich and it’s adorable.

But also save your son!!

...wait what?

She’s...she’s really just gonna out herself like that?

Ha! YES!

Aww...Dean’s so disappointed. :(

BUT! He’s sticking up for his son! Because even if he’s mad at him for everything that happened to Mary (but also get over it, because she sucked anyways, Dean XD), of course he’ll still protect him.

Ha! The way he just takes it away…

Aww...poor baby. :(

He’s so disappointed. He deserves better. I feel bad for him. :(

HE IS NOT! SHUSH!

Aww...looking at the sandwich, but making the right call.

AWW! He’s trying. Best of both worlds.

Take the deal, lady.

DA**IT!!!

SERIOUSLY?!

SERIOUSLY???!!!

Screw you, lady.

HEY! NOT FAIR!

He is NOTHING like his father, thank you very much!

Well...now what??

Oh thank god, Sam’s home. He’s smart. He’ll find a way to get them out.

Her calling him Samuel is both hilarious and annoying, somehow. I think it’s only annoying now because I hate her with what she just did to my boys. XD

OOOOF.

She gonna out herself again?

Sam’s face when she said that about good news and bad news. XD

I suppose the benefit of having a bad guy who thinks they’re doing the right thing is that she’s not trying to hide it. So hopefully, if she outs herself again, Sam can deal with it a little better than Dean did, knowing Dean was not very successful lol. Dean let his love of her food get in the way. XD

She DID out herself!

Ha! “You were always the smart one.”

YES! Good job, Sam. Starting off strong. <3

YES! GOOD JOB SAM!! Nice manipulation.

Ha!

Can’t believe she’s asking about the date.

Actually yes I can. XD

Wait, why don’t WE get to hear about the date? I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THE DATE DA**IT!

Well, DUH, Sam, you think they don’t know that?

Dean OMG!! XD XD

SUPPORTIVE BIG BRO!! XD XD

In Dean’s defense, he knew she’d wait for Sam, so...it’s not like they were REALLY in danger.

Do NOT try shooting her. Are you kidding me right now?

...really Sam? REALLY?! You’re going to try to SHOOT her?? You’ve seen what she can do, and you’re going to try to SHOOT her? She got the jump on JACK. POWERED UP Jack. Really? Call me crazy, but I feel like that’s not gonna work.

Yes. Yes he is. ...so much for Sam being the smart one.

I want to be mad at them for getting distracted by the holidays, but also I can’t exactly blame them given their childhoods, so…

Ha! The way they both react to the Boxing Day breakfast. Such brothers. XD

There ya go. Good plan. MUCH better than shooting her. Thank you boys.

WAIT WAIT WAIT!! Is this where we’re gonna get the “you sure this is gonna work” “let’s say yes” scene from the promo?? I THINK IT IS!! (Okay, so I MAY have watched that particular five second scene a million and one times because it had my boys in it, but I love them okay?? Sue me.)

Hey. Chill, Dean. Don’t yell at him.

Aww baby. :( :( :(

He doesn’t think you’re a monster. He’s just upset. :(

...uh oh. This convo is gonna be bad, isn’t it? :( :(

:’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

WAIT! “For a while” YES! THAT’S A GOOD THING!!

Oh wait. “Still am a little bit.”

“Evil Mary Poppins” XD XD

AWWW!! SEE JACK?! He DOES love you!! <3 <3 <3 <3

OKAY NEVER MIND THAT CONVO WAS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD!!! I need to break that down for a second.

That convo was short and subtle and to the point, but it says SO much about Dean and Jack’s relationship.

First of all, the fact that Dean decided to be honest with Jack instead of continuing to pretend everything’s fine shows how much he really does care about Jack and how much he still trusts him and loves him. He doesn’t open up often, and I’m glad he finally did.

Second of all, he may have been blunt, but there was so much affection hidden in the way he addressed all of that. I mean, he tells Jack that he used to be really mad, and he still kind of is, but then he reminds him that just because they’re in a rough patch right now doesn’t mean he wants to lose him. Yes, Jack made a mistake, and yeah, Dean’s finding it hard to get over it, but Jack’s family through and through, and that means that, no matter what, Dean’s going to look out for him. It’s the same way he treats Cas and, more notably, the same way he treats Sam. He’s giving Jack the family treatment. And THAT is a BEAUTIFUL thing.

All of that said, between all of the OG Team Free Will, Dean’s relationship with Jack will always be my favorite (probably mostly because they’re my two favorite characters, but also because they’re amazing together), so this convo makes me so freaking happy. <3 <3 <3 <3

Sam you are being not very sneaky.

SERIOUSLY SAM??!!

I take that back. Sam is not being smart about this. *eye roll*

UGGGGHHHHH.

WHERE IS CAS WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!

Actually quick side note, one that I’m adding now that I’ve finished the episode: not having Cas around TOTALLY makes sense. Explanation included in the review.

“Because you are my favorite.” XD XD XD

She shouldn’t still be making me laugh, but dangat she’s too funny. XD

Wait noooo. No torture allowed.

I KNEW IT!! I TOLD YOU!! I CALLED IT!! SCENE FROM THE PROMO!! XD XD <3 <3 <3

I LOVE DEAN AND JACK SO MUCH!! <3 <3 <3

Ha! Fixing his hands.

YIKES!

...but did the cuffs break at least?

HA! She actually converted him to not swear.

I love how Dean makes a point of swearing extra loud after he realizes what he did. I love him. XD XD <3

Oh frick, that didn’t break the cuffs? Are you kidding me? Stupid powerful magic…

OOH! Dean’s got an idea!

THOSE LITTLE SMILES I LOVE THEM!! <3 <3 <3 <3

OH SHUT UP LADY! Are you still talking??

...okay so...trauma.

Please listen to Sam.

YES HE IS SHUSH!

Just because he has blood on his hands doesn’t mean he’s not a kid. Just saying.

Okay so I kind of feel bad for her knowing what she’s been through, but also that does not excuse her behavior. However, I will take back what I said about someone ripping her head off. I suppose that isn’t really necessary.

That said, someone please do something. :( :(

WOULD YOU QUIT IT WITH THE FINGERNAILS SUPERNATURAL??!! I STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN OVER IT FROM THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE IN SEASON 3!!!

My mom and I are both turning away owwwwwww.

STOOOOOOOOOOP!!!

Jesus Christ lady!!

“Pain is just weakness leaving the body.” Dean what?! XD XD

HEY! Smart! Way to go you two!! <3 <3

And still helping his son up YES! <3 <3 <3

Okay that could not have been a more in character moment between Dean and Jack right there. Between the “not so bad” and the helping him up and the helping him walk down the hall and Jack just following him along and I just...I LOVE THEM OKAY!! <3 <3 <3

AHHH!! SHE TOOK OFF SO MANY FINGERNAILS JESUS!!

SHUT UP LADY!!

YES!

...Dean honey that was the reset button…

There’s no way that did the job. Too easy.

Problem not solved!! Problem DEFINITELY not solved!!

Creepy green eyes!!

Oh she looks maaaaad. That’s not good.

HEY!!! What happened to not hurting family??!!

LEAVE THEM ALONE!!

Which family??!! Cause YOU’RE the one destroying them!

No he won’t.

“You hurt him, you hurt us.” GREAT line!! YES SAM!! <3 <3 <3

Oooh!! He’s getting to her!! <3 <3

Oop. There’s our backstory. Mr. Cuthbert wouldn’t let her go back. Not that I’m surprised, given what he did to Dean all those years ago.

Yes. Yes he did.

YAY! Dean jumping in to save his son. <3

NICE! Good call, Dean! <3

THAT FACE!! Jack’s face!! <3 <3

YES!!!! YES!!! GOOD JOB BOYS!! <3 <3 <3

Awww….poor Mrs. Butters…

Okay now I feel really bad for her. And a little guilty that I called her a b***h. I’m still kind of mad at her, but...her motives make sense.

Hey yay! She healed him!

Wow, this nymph is POWERFUL. Now that she’s nice again, can we, like, actually keep her? Cause that’d be an awesome ally to have.

Aww...Jack being the one to voice their forgiveness. So pure, especially since she was after him all that time. <3

Awww….Dean wants her to stay. He’s so upset. XD

But he also gets it. :) <3

OMG!! That shot with all three of them looking at her and those sweet little smiles they give her as she’s talking about home. There was just so much...genuineness in that! I loved it! <3 <3

Jack being the voice again. <3

Okay, she looks hecka cute in that outfit.

Oof. That makes sense lol. It would be way too easy if it didn’t revert back.

...inter what now?

Oh shoot...that just proves Chuck destroyed all the worlds...lovely….

Awww!! <3 <3

Ha! Her little words of wisdom to them! To reiterate: SUCH. A. MOM. XD XD <3 <3

Sam and Dean’s smirks at each other when she tells them to do the same things they’ve been telling each other to do for years--eat your vegetables and cut your hair. XD

Awww….that little extra nose crinkle and smile at Jack when she tells him to save the world. <3

I also just realized that this breaks my theory that anyone who meets Jack instantly falls in love with him because of how adorable he is. Though, I guess she’s a little different given that extra little motivation to protect her family in the only way she knows how. Plus, trauma.

Oof. Bye bye extra magic.

Aww...this convo between Jack and Sam. <3 <3

Aww Jack… :( :(

You weren’t stupid, baby. You all fell for it. :(

Aww….he’s looking for faith from Sam.

And Sam just gave it to him. <3

I know the line seems desperate, and in a way, it is, but the way that Sam gave him a little smile shows that it’s more than that. They are desperate, and Jack is their only hope, but also, Sam knows Jack can handle it, because he does have faith in him. It’s a short convo, but it says so much.

That tin has a birthday cake for Jack, made by Dean. Calling it right now.

“He loves that apron.” XD <3 <3

I KNEW IT AND I LOVE IT OMG!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THAT’S SO ADORABLE!!! And that is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT Dean’s way of telling Jack that he still loves him, and that he forgives him. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THEIR LITTLE SMILES!! <3 <3 <3

I’M SCREAMING!!! ALL OF THEIR SMILES AT EACH OTHER I FREAKING LOVE THIS FAMILY!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I SERIOUSLY LOST ALL FUNCTIONALITY JUST NOW TO THE POINT WHERE I’M ADDING THIS COMMENT LATER BECAUSE AHHHH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

AWESOME ending shot. It’s a great way to end a much more light-hearted episode while also setting us up perfectly for knowing that things are about to get heavy and serious. I bet whatever Jack wished for, it has something to do with taking on God.

Okay, so...those reactions were a lot longer than I was anticipating, and I want to apologize, but also, I did warn you. XD That said, review time!

I loved this episode! It was absolutely hilarious, but also sweet and touching. It mixed some crazy and fun moments with some of the most subtly emotional ones, both negative and positive. I absolutely loved all the Easter Eggs, and I loved watching the boys have a chance to celebrate holidays in a way that they never have before, especially with Jack. The facial expressions in this episode killed me. Between all of the little smiles and dorky excitement, I was laughing and smiling right along with the characters. Some stand-out moments/things for me:

That convo between Dean and Jack. I already broke it down above, but seriously, I love how they did that. As a huge fan of Dean and Jack and their relationship, the way that those two interacted this episode was beautiful and really sets up the fact that they’re going to need to lean on each other for support as a whole family in the coming fight, and I loved that. <3

Sam going on a date with Eileen! <3 Initially, I had a theory that Sam and Eileen would end up together at the end of all of this, but when she left a few episodes ago, I threw that idea out the window and it made me sad. So the fact that they went on a date and got to see each other again--even if we didn’t get to see it--makes me so happy and brings back my hope that they’ll end up being together. <3 That said, I am 100% going to write a fanfiction of that date, since Supernatural chose to keep it from us. XD

The acting really stood out to me in this one. Maybe it’s just because it’s been so long since I’ve seen them doing something new, but I honestly feel like J2 and Alex nailed it even more than usual. I mean, their facial expressions were seriously so amazing in this episode. Between the really dorky moments and the subtle emotional moments, I felt like their faces were always saying so much and I loved it. <3

One thing I want to address is the lack of Cas. I know a lot of people were upset that he wasn’t in it, especially since the boys were celebrating so many holidays with Jack, and while I agree that it would’ve been beautiful to have him there, it makes perfect sense that he wasn’t there based on the trajectory of the episode and everything that happened. For starters, if Cas had been there, the wood nymph business would’ve been solved INSTANTLY. Cas is always extra suspicious of people, so if she didn’t trust him because he was an angel, the odds of her getting the jump on him would’ve been slim. And yes, she did poison Jack with the smoothies, but, as this episode continued to point out, Jack is still a kid, so he’s still much more naive and gullible. Plus, he’s upset and guilty and confused and just generally vulnerable now that his soul is back, so it was easy for him to trust and be manipulated. But if Mrs. Butters had tried to do the same thing to Cas, (and I’m picturing that one scene with the milkshake in Peace of Mind here) there’s no way he would’ve fallen for it. More importantly, with how worried he is about Jack, he would’ve been really vigilant about the way she was talking to him and everything, and he probably would’ve caught the poisoning long before it could really hurt him. And you can argue that Sam and Dean probably should’ve picked up on it, which is true, however, even they admit that they get distracted in the fun of it all. While it would’ve been great to see Cas in on the festivities, he wouldn’t have been quite as distracted by it as the boys were, and with his vigilance, there’s no way any of them would ever have gotten hurt. He’d be watching Mrs. Butters like a hawk, and the second she did something suspicious, she’d be gone. That said, I can understand if people want to say that’s dumb, because if they didn’t want Cas to defeat the villain so easily, they shouldn’t have had a villain that could be so easily defeated by Cas, and I’m sure some people feel like that’s a stupid excuse. To which I also offer this. After seeing those convos between Dean and Jack and Sam and Jack, and knowing that the episode ends with the three of them celebrating Jack’s birthday, Cas’s absence makes even more sense: this episode wasn’t about him. I love Cas, but it didn’t need him. See, Cas already has an undying love for Jack. While Cas definitely saw Mary as family, he never had the same emotional connection to her that Sam and Dean did--for obvious reasons. But he definitely had--and still has--a very strong emotional connection to Jack. He’s always been the most involved in being Jack’s father--again, for obvious reasons. But even after the Mary incident, it was Cas who went to find him, who tried to help him, and who wanted to protect him. Cas always loved him and always trusted him, and he always will. But Sam and Dean lost a lot of trust for Jack after what happened to Mary...and this episode fixed that. Because Cas wasn’t around, it gave Jack a chance to prove himself to Sam and Dean again. Sam had already pretty much forgiven him, but Dean was definitely on the fence. He even says it. But the fact that Dean had that conversation with him and said everything he did proves that Dean still loves him, and it gave Jack the reassurance he needed that, while Dean is still mad, he doesn’t hate him, and he doesn’t think he’s a monster. And while Sam and Jack were on pretty good terms, Jack was still worried that Sam couldn’t trust him--that Sam didn’t have faith in him anymore. But when Sam tells him that he knows he can defeat God, Jack gets confirmation that Sam does still have faith in him. And after all of that, after celebrating all of those holidays together, and having both of those conversations, to then end that with Sam and Dean celebrating Jack’s birthday? That’s what this episode was about. Sure, it was a silly monster of the week episode. Sure, we got some adorable and hilarious moments. And sure, we got to see them celebrate things that they never got to celebrate in a real way before. But underlying all of that, we got to see Jack become part of Sam and Dean’s family again. We got to see them bond. And knowing that this is right before they all prepare to take on God--Jack needed that. The boys needed that. They needed to all trust each other again. And the fact that they celebrated his birthday at the end proves that they do. They’re a family again. They have each other’s backs. They trust each other. And they love each other. And as much as I love Cas, and as much as I would’ve loved to have seen him be a part of their holidays, he didn’t need to be. But those three did. And that’s why Cas wasn’t in the episode. So, frankly, full points to the writers for making that happen. While they gave us a fun episode, and they may have left out a fan favorite character, it created an underlying theme that’s really going to matter as we get into the big stuff of Season 15. And that’s awesome.

All in all, I thought this was a great episode, and I’m so glad that this is how we get to jump back into the season. Not only was this episode hilarious and fun, but it was also a great set-up for the coming battle and for all the hard and serious things that are bound to come in the next several episodes.

Rumor has it that this was the last “silly” episode of the show, and while that’s a sad thought to think about, it totally makes sense with what they did with the episode, and frankly, I think it’s a beautiful silly one to have ended on and a great way to lead into everything that’s coming next.

My Rating: 10/10

#spn #spn season 15 #supernatural #supernatural spoilers #15x14 #last holiday #supernatural season 15 #spn spoilers #season 15 #spn reviews #spn reactions #my opinion

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nickelkeep · 5 years

Text

15x07 Last Time Live Blog

Yes Yes Yes. Time for Saileen to shine and maybe Dean and Cas see each other at least?

The Road so Far...

Always the punch line Sammy, I’m sorry.

Divorce scene :(

EILEEEEN <3

hehehehe, purge your sins.

Oh, shit, what just happened? the car disappeared. It’s a djinn. No?

What the fuck is that? (Also, really with the jumpscare?)

Dean! how much have you been drinking? My Baby :(

Demon Dean shirt...

SO DOMESTIC. THEY HAD TOO MANY MARGARITAS. SAILEEN!!!

EW exclusive clip. Poor Dean is jealous or envious.

That entrance... it looks familiar

I could have been the next Denzel. Dean’s like... Nah.

Swayze’s Bar!!!

Was..did he just.. Did the Sheriff just hit on Dean?

This is literally Dean’s wet dream.

Dean’s face. That the face of holy shit.

Lee was so excited to see him!!!

Soft music... Sam and Eileen...

YES YES YES

DAMMIT CASTIEL COCK BLOCK

I thought you were dead. I got better.

There may be some of you inside Chuck. “Ew.”

This is what we call a reunion. I mean...

Wait, Wasted on a hunt. And John liked Lee? Whaaaa?

OMG. BOYS. Hearteyes. What the hell.

Lee got out of the life. That living the dream? So cute. And he doesn’t regret leaving.

Dammit, Christian is so pretty. Just saying.

“Probe it?” *snorts*

Eileen is cute watching over Sam. I love it.

OH FUCK. CAS. What did you do? SAMMY!

OOOOooo, that growl.

They were not twins, they were triplets... Wait, what?

OH SHIT, SERGEI

CASTIEL!. *fans self* Hot damn, there’s my BAMF.

Wait, favor from whom? Cas...

Talking about Yellow Fever.

TELL HIM LEE. TELL MY BOY HE NEEDS A BREAK.

Oooo, that’s flirtin’.

zfjh’ZPJh’pzjfh Dean’s singing. Jensen! Woooooo.

Yep. fuck y’all who said that it’s canon that Dean can’t sing. Demon!Dean gets too drink to stay on key. Dean CAN sing.

Fucking Sergei.

Doting Eileen.

Sam is dying? GOD DAMMIT CHUCK.

“You can’t rapture a car.”

Your friend wants to work WITH you Dean. You just upset him

Most wounds want to be healed. Rubber band? Interesting...

Cas, who did you call in a favor from?

Dammit Dean, you should have brought Lee.{FKC:”LASKF’ADJGFKADSF

Fucking A. It was Lee.

“Wait for it...”

I LOVE YOU EILEEN.

HAHAHAHA Good Job, Cas.

“I like this you, Castiel. It’s very... Russian. “ Cas is a mob boss. Canon!

Not a djinn, what is it? Tell me Dean.

Damn, it was Lee. We deserve. We earned... He is just ugh...

Lee, you know damn well that wasn’t going to keep Dean down.

‘Cause I kill monsters. - That’s my Dean!!

Wanna fight for the title? - Lee’s cocky.

Why do you care so much Dean? Cause someone has to. I’m glad it was you.

Oh Shit. They’re back together. Cas, sweetie. You two fuckers need to talk. Where’s

“Chuck is weak. I think we can beat him. I think we can beat God.” YAS SAMMY! Oof, such a good episode.

#spn #spn spoilers #spn season 15 #spn 15x07 #spn Leesaywha?#spn liveblog

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elizabethrobertajones · 6 years

Text

13x18 watching notes

Hi sorry I’m late I was knitting a very long scarf in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere for a week :D

I just got home, I have tea, and I guess I am doing this

FYI I am closer in relation to a slime jelly than a human being right now

my expectations from 3 days ago were optimistically that this plays into Buckleming's strong spots and with proper care and management perhaps a decent-ish episode could be wrangled out of them if we make the allowance we're non-negotiably watching one of their episodes to start with...

That was the shortest recap Buckleming have probably ever had and it speaks to one of the strengths of this season in a way: the main problems were set in 12x23 and all they need to do is find a way to un-do them and have been making on and off progress all season. With Wayward Sisters and Scoobynatural we had to put a few brakes on it but for the sake of really entertaining side projects, and on the other side of Scoobynatural we can supposedly coast to the end. And so, we get the last spell ingredients in the very next episode and off we go, and what's left is the set up going into this, of a relatively pared down, personal story and like season 8 almost entirely motivated by what Sam and Dean WANT to do and what they are willing to do to achieve that, rather than by having some urgent problem they tangle with on and off.

I hope that the last run of episodes to the end can play out in whatever way it likes, because right now there is very little nonsense from this season that actually matters towards the main plot that isn't directly in play...

though the recap didn't mention Michael or Lucifer and we'd be so lucky if Buckleming didn't write them :P

they didn't use the apocalypse AU set but went for an outdoors version of the world... Nuclear winter maybe?? It seems like the angels and demons have a specific battlefield and in 13x14 we saw the woods where Bobby had a camp... I think this world might be in a terrible state but the natural world at least might be untouched, where it didn't have too much human influence... Who knows.

Have to explain the Vancouver snow somehow anyways :P

Ketch is still beat up looking from his fight with Asmodeus although I don't even want to match his injury level now vs what was supposedly a few hours ago at most where Asmodeus was kicking the snot out of him in a rib-breaking sort of way. The light here also has made Dean look exceptionally attractive even by his standards.

In any case Ketch is wavering along a fine line of am i here to steal jack for power or save Mary because I still have a confusing boner for her in my heart or am I just here to save myself and be a dick... the usual kind of thing. I am assuming they're gonna play at least a degree of redemption with him but it makes it interesting in reverse to Jack that it teases he may go dark but he's ultimately a sweetie... Ketch is a dick through and through but they can tease the different paths he might take. From Buckleming's POV, redeeming him before he inevitably will be killed off again might be a sense of completing his story. I remain grumbly and annoyed he's back at all, and there are some boringly predictable paths he may take so I kind of hope he doesn't, or that the final writing of him falls to some other writer.

Still. This may or may not be a first chance to kill him off and "justify" bringing him back...

"She will kill you... again."

Uhoh, angels. I feel like we might be about to meet a surprise face here... i suppose among either the angels or the humans, because any one of these angels could be a named character from seasons 4-12 brought back on a whim - including up to AU!Cas doing his job. And then the humans have their heads in bags

well it's not the first 2 humans

oh look the smaller human with the long red hair was the small human with the long red hair.

Welp.

Look, this literally does not erase a single thing that they did in 10x21 and they can NOT buy that back, but at the same time I am glad on a wider level to see her again. I wish it was not Buckleming because I just can't trust them to be doing this for any reason other than people were angry and they are throwing peanuts at us and I have 0 expectation they'll have a progressive agenda or write Charlie particularly interestingly or well.

But if it puts her back into the story and she doesn't die...

I should ask Mittens that actually :P

Okay, Mittens confirms I do not have to watch her die again.

Anyway. I doubt lessons are really learned on their end in their specific minds, which is all I actually want. I mean, Charlie could stay dead if we got a "we're sorry and we finally understand the problem and we were dicks but we'll try better" from Buckleming, and I feel like this is just literally beyond their capability with what we know about them vs fan interaction, and I doubt Dabb could twist their arms on that and have anything meaningful sink in. And so I will accept surface level that it's nice to see her again in some form but I don't have to like or forgive BL for doing this, and I can fully mistrust their motives, but like... whatever

Mary and Charlie have met, which means me writing shippy fic about them once upon a time kinda pays off.

I mean, that also implies she's a friend of Bobby's which is kinda sad because they only crossed paths in 7x20 and he broke her arm.

Also wait, as well, Buckleming brought back AU!Kevin, another character they killed and was really crappy because boo killing off the show's meagre representation and especially more meagre representation among main-ish secondary characters (i.e. anyone who has at least 2-3 episodes, on this show :P)

In that case it was a LOT more like they were doing it because it was a part of the plot, as with Benny, but Charlie was wildly egregious, and Eileen just plain infuriating and recent enough it felt clear that they had NOT learned their lesson and really had no intention of doing so. Bringing back both Charlie and Kevin means, honestly, that I can practically see the peanuts they're hurling at us with the intention of shutting us up.

Anyway yay Cas n Sam hang out times

"And Misha Collins" flashes up on the screen, superimposed over Cas.

my lizard brain: "Oh good, Cas is in this episode"

i tired

At this point, Cas and Sam bickering over Dean as siblings and brothers in law is just... so completely commonplace it slips my mind to comment on it, whereas once upon a time I would have been wildly excited just to see it, the fact of their dynamic is deliciously cemented, and I'm just happy they're hanging out now :P

I still think Sam might have had better luck reminding Gabriel of the FUN things he did to them rather than the heroic tragic supposed death which was really just, well... whatever it was, if this is the real Gabriel

Why do I feel like Sam giving him his grace is a bad idea?

Also... why has he got it on a bandana in a serving dish? Is this just because it's kinda vaguely funny, or because it was making a low whistling noise the entire time and he covered it up because it was starting to set his teeth on edge? I mean, like... what is going on here... I'm just using the cues they give us :P

Let the choo choo in

Cas learned a lot about how to handle infants when he was reading up on what to do about raising Jack. It's almost sad he doesn't have a baby to mess around with. I just spent a week with a baby and spent most of it trying to make him say "Marmoset" as his first word.

It's also wildly distracting in a hilarious way from wondering WHY Gabriel is so scared of supposedly his own grace. Maybe being what he once was, or becoming something he doesn't want to be.

Cas did the exact same thing when Crowley was trying to make him eat Adina's grace, although in that case Crowley was like omg shut up I already killed her, and you need to go save Dean for the both of us so just do it and die later, asshole, and Cas opened up with the right motivation. Choo choo.

Anyway you would freaking think SAMUEL AND CASTIEL WINCHESTER of all people would NOT try and force a foreign powerful substance into someone else's mouth when they didn't seem to want it

Jo!! Hey babe, how's running Heaven going?

Well, she has to manage this dumbass so not well, apparently. There's presumably only so much she can get out of it when he just wants to play solitaire or "strip poker" with her... (playing with himself vs playing with someone else... is it a metaphor for him just sitting in his room jerking it while she does all the work? :P) but anyways... i love the image of his stupid pointy throne like hurr blurr look at me I run heaven and she's got a practical comfy chair next to it to sit and like... actually run heaven :P

Her "out" sounds like she was definitely off doing whatever she could, and both of them are reading/pretending the other was doing nothing, while Lucifer was BLATANTLY doing nothing and has no interest in doing it, while she needs the symbol of being attached to him to get what SHE needs, aka actual power and ruling Heaven, and clearly has run into a problem she can't deal with, without having Lucifer standing next to her.

You know, like how they say to bring a man when you go car shopping because you'll get a better deal and not get ripped off

mittensmorgul side note: EVEN HEAVEN'S COLDEST ROOM HAS A SOFA BUT NOT THE DEAN CAVE #MadAboutIt

elizabethrobertajones You know that was the very next thing I was going to type

Lucifer uses Dumas to neg Jo about how she should be happy to be his "first lady" of Heaven, focusing on the me me me me side of the problem, grumbling about their relationship and how she's nagging him as a way of her showing disrespect etc

In this case I think Buckleming MAY be hitting the right note, maybe even on the side of too heavily, of Lucifer as the useless entitled male and Jo as the smart competent woman with her shit together... I mean, to the point where I'm ASSUMING we're on Jo's side but it might be one of those things where they literally do think it's funny to make her nag lucifer and they're on his side but I'm so wildly feminist compared to them that I literally can not read this scene from any side but rooting for her first, Dumas second, literally any other angel who might walk through the door third, and finally and firmly last, Lucifer

I mean, Lucifer is literally draining Jo for power and is presumably at this point completely dependant on her since they may be doing a drug metaphor again, especially an implication that angel grace is addictive, re: Asmodeus (and what a nice throwback to Cas and how strong he was to resist it with all his heart when it was destroying him but also to say how TOXIC being an angel really is, perhaps also re: where we're going with Gabriel)... And yet he still claims Dumas rules in his favour when she answers neutrally, showing him choosing to make a wilfully wrong interpretation to back up what he wants to see. Aka this is not a metaphor for anyone in power right now and throwing around the word "first lady" in this scene means nothing? :P

Dumas tries to remind Lucifer that he said he could make angels and he's like no go away and get Jack.. reeeally starting to doubt that he can do it

lol "your father created. you inherited"

Sister Jo is amazing and also I think I witnessed Buckleming shitting on Trump for a whole scene and I'm actually kind of amazed and horrified we agree on an extremely broad and obvious political issue

Asmodeus has those balls you spin around to strengthen your hand... on the other hand hehe he's playing with balls

we're going from the all-white heaven throne room with the asshole devil sitting on it, to the dark hell throne room with the all-white angel grace addicted demon sitting on it. This is actually a reasonably good scene transition and in general so far this episode has been weirdly well paced to the 9 minute mark at least, with a well-placed title card reveal, a how are sam n cas scene after and then the 2 sides of thrones one after the other, showing how the seats of power are doing right now...

not sure how long this LASTS but good editing may one day save us from the Buckleming nonsense if someone would just be sterner with it. There's so much in their episodes I could chop out...

Also, Asmodeus is getting more interesting, twitchy and fidgeting now he's in withdrawal, and well aware that the grace was the only thing making him remotely a power player.

lol @ dean letting branches hit Ketch as they go

in fact I'm headcanoning that he turned around and noticed him missing because he didn't hear the satisfying "thwap" of another thorn hitting him in the face and had to look to see what happened

oh, nothing dramatic, just Ketch being a drama queen. Anyway, it was more of an incentive to start that argument than them just getting into it at random while walking so... kudos for introducing a scene with more than "we are talking about this now because we are"

Dean leads with that they're looking for Charlie because she's seen Mary, then she's seen Jack, and "we need her" - a clear practical motivation. Ketch counters that there is a different, personal reason to want her saved. A use your words correctly moment.

Aaand now Dean's been shot by a slaver... the AU is fun

Oh, this is a different bedroom set with no stairs, probably so they could ruin it by painting all over it. I wonder if Gabriel manifested this, because idk if they'd have left him the resources :P

"It's his story, starting with his death" - a nice person translated some of it and found it WAS Bible verses relating to Gabriel, but the question is that this is going to tell us something different. The set people write a different story than the script, especially as there's no bible verse for 5x18 :P

Oh good, so even if Gabriel isn't speaking, we're getting his words, in a way, including with snark about how Lucifer has half his brains, which in 5x18 seemed debatable that he might be whiny but did actually have a big old apocalypse going, but by now with Lucifer reduced to rubble in terms of being actually frightening, effective, or driven, all the archangels are diminished one way or another, including Gabriel himself. But his words betray the personality underneath lives on and is around and maybe retrievable, as there is snark within this writing, even if outwardly, Gabriel is a mess.

I mean.

I type this as someone who is so tired I can't speak without getting every sentence backwards and I have half-lidded eyes, am utterly depleted to the point I can barely walk, but inwardly, typey typey chatty chatty and I can still get much more advanced words out if I don't have to move anything other than my fingers and no running the words through the mouth. I am essentially borderline catatonic yet inwardly full of words and snark :P

(I just travelled like 150 miles today after a week of touristing and these things don't stack well with chronic fatigue)

Also to get this read, we need lots of close ups of Cas's hands touchy touchy... I like this. Cas likes to touchy touchy and we get to see close ups of his hands. Everyone wins

and by everyone i mean don't imagine cas reading dean's face like this

"Gabriel was gone, and suddenly, I was free - no obligation to God, or Heaven, or mankind."

("And so I did what anyone would do. I moved to Monte Carlo and shacked up with pornstars.")

The first line - epic. The second... lol. Gabriel's tastes have been compared to Dean's since we met the Trickster - they even bonded a lil over his sense of humour and the babes he conjured for Dean in the final confrontation. I was musing on some reverse verse art and realised angel!Dean written with no hang ups would be remarkably like fanon!Gabe, which just put me even more off Sabriel. In any case there was always a direct line between him and Dean. Of course, Dean literally has also crossed off his bucket list sleeping with a favourite porn star, so though chronologically it seems Gabriel got there first, it's another Dean trait being handed to him.

But on the other hand... back to the serious line... he DOES have hang ups, and he has the same angel hang ups that Cas does. This is the comparison of what they did after the apocalypse, and the diverging paths they were on. Cas felt this obligation to God and Heaven which played an overall part in his downfall in season 6 - 6x20 hammering home that he's waiting for God to tell him no before he does the thing, and in that moment of despair of missing the sign, he goes and does it. Cas has been struggling with this a long time and this is another thing along with the Sister Jo storyline and the stuff she said to Lucifer in 13x13 about feeling human, that picks up where we were in season 10 with Cas and the human arc and so on, and how he relates to being an angel. The sense of burden and obligation, his restraint from doing stuff like naffing off to hook up always obvious because we had Balthazar in 6x03 advising him to do what he had done, and what now we know for sure Gabriel was busy doing in the same time, only much better at staying under the radar about it.

Cas has never faked his death but he has died time and time again and each time he rises once more with an obligation and duty... and this time he's determined to work out WHY he was brought back, but see also rambles in 13x14 re: no you dummy you were brought back because your family loves you and wants you around, not because you HAVE to do anything, so stop running around trying to find that purpose and do what you want because you want to do it.

... but you know, do Dean instead of pornstars

"He goes on and on about pornstars"

*Sam looks utterly grossed out* "Cas, please..."

Cas is a good egg, he and Sam don't need to know the deets so he skips over an entire wall

what's with Lucifer's suit? I know I'm supposed to be all fashion meta-y but honestly all I got is "it's boring and black and with the sunglasses he's obviously a douche and evil but is he supposed to look like one of the MIB?"

mittensmorgul He's playing that other Lucifer, the one who moved to LA to solve crimes? Maybe?

elizabethrobertajones ooh is that a thing? :P hahahaha

mittensmorgul either that, or my first thought was heck he thinks he's one of the Blues Brothers "We're on a mission from God."

elizabethrobertajones yeah it looks a lot like that their whole thing was - originally - to do something to help a priest, right? I only watched half the movie

mittensmorgul YEP

mittensmorgul well it was an orphanage they were raised in that they were trying to save, run by Sister Mary Stigmata

elizabethrobertajones anyway I never watched enough to know if they were truly misguided or did something good and their nonsense was just them being nonsensical :P like, I know they were raising chaos but did they do it? you said "trying" to save >.>

mittensmorgul yeah, all sorts of wacky circumstances try to prevent them from putting on a fundraiser concert to save the orphanage (including the police, neo-nazis... all sorts of "evil") but the end of the movie is the concert, and they save the day Let the Good Times Roll as it were (Lucifer, however, failed to pull the trick off and gave up)

elizabethrobertajones yay :D so the reference could be that he's trying to do good like they are but continues to be a total fail whale

He tries to listen to prayers, and after like 3 seconds decides it's awful and he hates it when it's just people "whining" and begging for help - this is an ongoing part of his comparison to human!Cas, when Cas went to the church and dealt with faith from the other end, being the petitioner instead (having already been God at this point :P). The Buckleming vs faith stuff is a surprisingly good and consistent thing, and other notable moments are Dean's confession in season 10 and Amara being affronted by the Church in season 11.

Lucifer tunes in on a random exorcism instead, probably because he thinks it's more fun.

Poor random demon (Anthony?)... that would ruin your day.

I mean, technically he did exorcise the girl...

Probably should have just claimed to be God, not Lucifer. If you wanted to impress them. Now it just looks like these priests have a bigger problem on their hands...

Yep that went about as well as it could go. You need to stop... melting people..

oh what do I care

Anyway Lucifer has no self control because tantrumy child blah blah blah

I took a break to catch my mum up on 13x17 and wow it really rubs it home how Heaven and Hell are being manned by performing buffoons with none of the skills to do the job. Asmodeus is a loser and not even juicing himself up has made him anything more this season, summed up best in an episode where he's entirely absent and Cas's response to being imprisoned is weary eye rolling... and Lucifer is just playing at being his dad, while continuing on the path of revealing his temperament to make it impossible for him to rule effectively...

lol Ketch is so out of the game: "these... I don't even recognise" *Dean opens his gun to reveal the angel killing bullets*

You gotta play to keep up

"You don't look good."

"Well, you're not my type either."

Dean remembers last season, huh? He is pretty on the ball about not getting seduced that time and knows Ketch would do it at the drop of a hat to get what he wants from Dean.

see also: top bunk and Dean agreeing subtext from last episode

basically: Dean is still a small amount vulnerable to Ketch's seduction depending on his leverage, despite everything Dean knows about him, and that's enough to put up the barrier. Especially when he's hurt.

Oh no, Ketch asking Dean what's up with Charlie anyways and guesses "she broke your heart" and Dean symbolically collapses.

Literally what happens to Dean between 10x21 and 10x22

... okay metaphorically

I mean platonic heart breaking

I find it literally impossible not to mentally insert the feeling that Ketch killed Charlie in another lifetime and doesn't remember it and Dean is struggling with that, but Ketch genuinely has no idea, but he has become such an avatar of Buckleming nonsense in my head that I can not disengage him from the concept of dead Charlie - because also MAGDA poor lil duckie - and as such I feel a sort of all-purpose Buckleming rage directed at both the concept of Charlie's death and Ketch speaking on their behalf, which ends up in a very weird cross-purposes where I am struggling to read the story accurately, which is to say, that Ketch is genuinely innocent and just being annoying, rather than actually responsible.

Don't watch stuff this tired, kids

And, of course, immediately after establishing that Dean is somewhat vulnerable to Ketch's seductions, he swoons and Ketch comes running to check his temperature and open his clothes to check his wound

#manly bonding in the woods

guys, this is what Ketch WANTED to engineer in 12x14 but couldn't get his shit together to be human enough to actually do the things that turn Dean on

like... heal him

*cough*

Not saying that there's a serious danger Dean will be seduced. However, Dean wounded in the woods for the sake of Ketch taking care of him is a fan fic concept and as contrived homoeroticism as the #manly sweat lodge episode with Cole.

"How's it look, mom?"

You guys have the most fucked up thing ever and I refuse to engage and you can't make me

Is cas healing gabriel or reading his mind aka more invasive stuff

oh good, he is trying to heal Gabriel despite thinking it's impossible. He's trying to "jolt his mind into thinking straight"

I am curious about how we have no Sam n Cas elsewhere aside from the one argument. We've had several scenes with them now, enough to see the pattern that they appear to be focussed on Gabriel more like they are the side characters to his return, but being used to explore it and we are just getting them mostly as actors to his recovery, rather than their own feelings about what it means for him to be back and if they trust his story and so on

Sam looks distressed that Cas thinks that they can't bring Gabriel back to himself. Considering they have the grace they need to open the portal, it seems he genuinely does feel bad for the guy, and even if he didn't die on their behalf and buggered off to live the high life after telling them how to sort the apocalypse out from afar, he did enough that Sam feels genuinely grateful to him.

It's also possible that he's dealt with Dean enough to see right through his shit, and of course there's plenty of parallels to trauma Sam has been though. Gabriel looks like the version of Sam in 6x22 who remembered Hell, and that's more than enough for Sam to sympathise, especially with the bonding scene with him and Rowena in 13x12. All told, there's enough here to say Sam is deeply invested in the SUBTEXT if you know the character history

just... idk... I would prefer some Sam n Cas talk about it away from Gabriel to get more of a sense of it, and I hope that scene is coming but I'm worried it won't

Ketch seems to still be determined to fix Dean

Mmmhm.

Sorry that was a "if I had energy I would be rolling on the floor laughing at the #manly healing in the woods camera angles, like I did with 10x15, but as it is I have no energy so a raised eyebrow and low "i see you" noise in my throat will do" comment

We now also have a back and forth at least here with healing Dean and trying to get through to Gabriel. Sam is alone with him now. I think this is where we will see that speech from the promos.

Sam shuts out Cas as a purely symbolic gesture

dude can hear through walls and if the last time you two were chilling in the bunker for an episode is any indication, SEE through them too

side note: see also 9x11 for Dean x Crowley and Crowley's play at seduction, including the gross fatherly overtones to go with it

With context, Sam starting from the point that Gabriel has to dig himself out of the hole seems to reference 6x22 even more directly. He sees where Gabriel is and he's got direct experience from having his psyche broken and going catatonic. This room is playing the part of the panic room - the Bunker now can split between dungeon and bedrooms depending on how people relate to the Winchesters. Gabriel can be kept here instead of in the dungeon because they deem him good. Sam being kept in the panic room was for his own sake, but it still seemed sort of imprison-y, but then, also paralleled 4x22.

Anyways.

"You think it's safer inside. No more torture, no more pain. No more... expectations."

Look, Sam, it's lovely of you, but you are one rare cookie who voluntarily clambered over your broken wall and took back all the fucked up parts of yourself to be whole again

Oh boy now Sam is talking about how he's nothing like his dad and family and the whole comparison between the two of them that appeared when Gabriel was revealed as more than the Trickster. How they both ran away from their lives.

Sam's colour palette in his plaid exactly matches the walls and the writing on them

"And then my family needed me" (Dad's on a hunting trip...) "and this is my life. No matter how many times I try to fight it, this is what I was put here to do"

Like Cas, he has sought meaning in a "why meeeeee" way, and come to conclude, through more natural deduction than most have at hand due to their high connection to the cosmos, that where they are and what they're doing is their divinely ordained purpose

interestingly, in 13x05 Dean was told this about himself, and he's the only one we know for sure IS supposed to still be doing a job, per the cosmos, while Cas and Sam both have decided for themselves that it is what they're supposed to be doing. With dramatic irony, we know Cas is wrong due to 13x03, but Sam's is entirely more complicated and an entire essay on his character and where he is now in relation to his job and family and whether he feels obligated etc, but at the end of the day, I feel like this shows both that he is mostly content to do this - but always historically more likely to say it's because it's what Dean does and without Dean he wouldn't be doing it (see also: dad's on a hunting trip) but this always leaves open the concept that Sam still feels like at his core he's not entirely built for this life and there's a lil part of him that is still oriented towards normality, that he still has an itch that might follow him to his grave about living a somewhat normal life.

As I have talked about this a lot I will stop here, but in any case, technically nothing new, but Sam phrasing some stuff that I have analysed about him a lot and it's always nice to hear your ideas repeated on screen :D

"Sure, hookers and monte carlo sounds great" dude, sam. PORN STARS. not hookers. Have some respect, man!

Trust Gabriel to set it up so Sam's big emotional speech needs that interjection. Always fucking with him :D

Sam's getting to the speech about making the world a better place and being needed - the need/want thing is very interesting in this context that Sam has reached out to Gabriel via not wanting to help, having a sense of wanting to be elsewhere and wanting to be free, but then saying they NEED to save the world and make it a better place, and that there are external pressures like family that NEED them there.

It makes Dean's "need" in 8x17 SO horrifically personal in context it makes me weep

since I didn't write down a sneaking suspicion it was Charlie in time, I am taking the big cookie for calling Gabriel's first words, after being so freaking annoyed about not knowing them last episode, and waiting to see what they'd be this episode... "Porn stars. They were porn stars, Sam."

I mean, thematically, use the right words, but also hahahaha I totally got Gabriel's line and intent down perfectly :D

Anyway. Big cookie because last episode I was chattering about how either they'd be epic, or they'd be ridiculous, and we got ridiculous: after the Trickster lost his voice, the only way it could come back was being left an opening to say "porn stars" as his first words back.

I'm so happy

eeeep the Bunker doesn't seem to be built to contain archangel nonsense

or Buckleming forgot

who knows

maybe Asmodeus got the same confusing 20 mile radius as everyone else... he's gonna go stand in a corn field and look around like "... where are you?"

Dean full on sweet potatoes face plants

Ketch is still bothering him about Charlie which is still making me feel like he murdered her in a past life and symbolically he fkin did and I think on some deep down metafuckery level Dean knows that.

Ketch tries to suggest AU Charlie would tell the angels what they want to know and Dean's like, I know my Queen, she would never in a million billion universes do that. She's a Good Egg.

"Charlie was like family. She was a sister to me. She did more for me and Sam than I could ever say. And she was butchered by these fucking writers, and we couldn't get there in time. And I - "

Dean knows he failed her, just like he failed Kevin. He should rescue AU Kevin while they're at it.

Yeah yeah show me the bathtub, you're not fuckin tugging these heart strings, you're tugging the "I will punch you in the face" strings

Then Ketch is all full of regret about people he didn't TRY to save. "Duty, and all that." Asmodeus really broke him, but he broke him in the direction that Ketch was ALREADY broken by the BMoL, and Ketch clearly is adrift and seeking a different path - there's something about his story which is not Cas-like but still has a shade of it - he has fallen from his organisation in dishonour, but he didn't even do that right, he just failed to be as big a dick as he could have been, was killed by people who righteously were pissed off with him, and when he popped back up he went undercover and sold his services to a high bidder, to distract from his lack of purpose, only to realise he did have some sense of morality after all, even if it had initially enormous lines like "oh shit, literal lucifer" rather than nuances, but now he is reflecting on what at the time was duty and now seems failure - his Lily Sunder moments, but again... knowing he was a dick literally right up until just now when he's suddenly turning his life around.

And blah about analysing him much more. Watching 13x17 in the middle of this episode has been confusing about my Ketchmodeus resistance/feelings, as I am now genuinely curious about them and the part they play in this story, even if intellectually I'm like "Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" to the entire concept.

"Well, you do suck."

Glad Dean is here to keep us on the right track, re: cool motive still murder :P

"Perhaps rescuing this Charlie will wash some of the stain off my hands."

look, Dabb, whoever, thanks but really, I am good over here loathing Buckleming. Get them to write a signed and sealed letter to prove they are behind this and mean it, and maybe I'll accept it as a meta commentary from their mouths. In the mean time, yes, this can be a line for the greater show, but these 2 writers are not getting sympathy without me being certain they mean it.

Dean bumps Ketch on the shoulder, all friendly like. Welp. He's dead. It was a punch, not a pat. Gentle, but.

Heee, Charlie (Celeste?) saying "Bite me"

tbh I should call her Celeste. I have no idea what name she's been using but Charlie was just an alter ego and I KNOW she was born Celeste Middleton if I don't know anything else about her. Charlie is really only a name she uses because Sam n Dean know it and care about her as Charlie

Anyway, it's the "fuck off" club

Okay, seems Asmodeus asked around/looked in Crowley's diary and found out where Sam n Dean live, and what "within 20 miles of Lebanon, Kansas" generally means when some fuckery is afoot, and just phoned Sam up rather than go right there.

Importantly, Sam has been chatting to Asmodeus for the entire time minus a week in the Bad Place AU between 13x07 and 13x13 as he was carrying the bulk of the communications with "Cas"

Also, yellow eyed demons are kinda scary, especially when you don't have a Colt and have an entire life time trauma caused by the bro of this guy

Oh pfft Lucifer is in this episode.

Oh! Sister Jo! Hi!!!! <3

She's sitting on the sofa and making me feel sulky about sofas and their general existence around here.

Asmodeus was also sitting with his feet up and had a pattern on the sole of his shoes which looks superficially similar to Jo's.

woaaaaah whaaaaaat Lucifer LIED about being able to make angels and give 'em back their wings??????????????

So yeah Sister Jo just narrowed her eyes and she's either gonna rip his throat out now or plan bloody murder by the end of the season :P

She's ripping out his throat. Wonderful. Tell it like it is *loads of clapping hands emojis*

GET OFF HER YOU BRUTE

"and now you don't have me" *storms off*

I love her

I can't believe Charlie is using Charlie Bradbury in this AU as well. I mean, I totally can. I wonder if Buckleming even know she's called Celeste :P

I'm still wondering if that angel with all the speaking lines who got away is AU!Cas

"We've got to get you out of here"

"Who the hell are you?"

... Dean you have so many cool lines but you're not being written by Robbie Thomspon, so "no time" will do I suppose

Sam n Cas wandering around the Bunker with the warding failing... uhoh

Cas really does seem to be here because he's in this episode, so far, although the support is nice for Sam I am still feeling like they aren't cashing in on the Sam n Cas dynamic, so even if it's them fighting together, I'd love to see it. I like that they have a comfortable relationship but, and big butt, it's like if there's no ongoing plot between the two of them, Buckleming really can't or won't think of anything for them to say to each other that isn't 100% about the plot.

Honestly there should be a metric where in episodes with Sam n Cas they talk about something other than Dean or the plot, which even Buckleming do pass and others fail - like the crappy car exchange in 11x03. But, like. Should be a regular function of if they're in an episode together in the same scenes, they can at least, like... exchange pleasantries.

I wonder if we can see the warding because Cas can see it or if Sam can too. I'm headcanoning Cas POV unless proven otherwise

I am pretty sure I just saw Cas get knocked on his back and in the very next shot be back on his feet and fighting, which means we got both the cas on his back tickbox and also proof it only happens when he's in a bad mood where he stays down??

Asmodeus wanders in like sorry they didn't design the warding for me.

come on, buddy. that's a "I walked out the demon trap because it's boring if I stay in here" line

Interestingly the writing does seem to be genuinely interested in Gabriel being traumatised and showing clearly that Asmodeus is the abuser, so idk if that's a wider picture thing or what because Buckleming kinda suck at considering how people, you know... feel... about things... but it's actually making the entire dynamic entirely more interesting

in any case, I really hope this scene ends with Gabriel saving them thanks to the grace and a lil TLC to help him remember himself but that that's not the end of his Asmodeus fear - which goes to show that even a weak shitty demon can be truly scary when he uses his power to abuse and we can't just say Gabriel is way more powerful than him, why is he scared of him, rather than devaluing it this way... who knows

Anyway. COME ON GABRIEL *cheering wildly despite my initial disappointment in his return* I guess I'm all in now... he's here and I said they'd fuckin make me root for him because I still like Gabriel even if I don't like that he's here right now :P

He looked terrifying while he still had the cuts on his lips and the glowing eyes.

Now he clean!

And he got fluffy wings!

*random power ball throwing bullshit*

*Gabriel like nah*

YAY Asmodeus is dead and it was an extremely satisfying and personally vindicating for Gabriel immolation!

*immediately and permanently stops caring about him as a character*

Bleh, I was wondering about the bit at the start with Charlie deflecting at the maybe maybe not AU Cas angel on the bridge but now she's wondering if Dean n our Charlie were a couple and Dean's like oh no she was into chicks and Charlie's like cool I like her, but does that imply AU Charlie is straight? I mean, in 7x20 she couldn't flirt with the security guard even in a fake way to save her life, but I was hoping the earlier thing was just to show she was tougher in this world.

Bleeeeeh

Charlie has met Mary, who should theoretically be as many years younger than her as Mary is to Dean, as Charlie is the same age as Dean. No wonder she's baffled.

Oh thank god someone stopped Buckleming using Sam n Cas to recap the entire plot of the season so far to Gabriel

I wonder what Gabriel even thinks about it when he drops off the map for 8 years and as soon as he's back, Sam and Cas are like, so. Uh. Michael vs Lucifer and some other shit?

I mean obviously he's leaving, but in a wider meta sense, of, like, do these guys ever stop? The real Michael isn't even around so they get an AU one to bother them!

Cas using the "turn your back on your father's creation" line is weak, but deliberately so, I think. Cas cares very little about anything in terms of Chuck and what he wants and does. Using it on Gabriel is a thin hope that he still cares for the principles he seemed to care about, or that he had searched for God as well as he admitted in 5x08, so perhaps, just a little, it might still sway him to think of it in these terms.

Cas has no conviction on that front, because what has Chuck ever done for him as far as Cas feels, so he can't really use that line on Gabriel and mean it

woah what a surprise, without the weird Ketchmodeus thing going on any more Ketch just wants to stay in the AU who ever would have guessed he likes it here better than cool original flavour earth

He really is banking on Charlie being as good as she's reported to be if he's planning on wandering into a camp with Mary in it like yo I'm here to help

I do like tough!Charlie, though if she's straight!Charlie, I've just gotta hope that growing up in the AU, she never got a chance to learn to be comfortable with herself in that same way and oh noes maybe Mary can help................

Dean doesn't want to lose Charlie again, but he has also to deal with the fact she has Charlie's face but she's not his Charlie, just another Good Egg with her face.

Holy crap he gave his iconic gun to Charlie

TFW catching each other up

...

why do I feel like Dean would be the one to get Gabriel to fight now Sam and Cas totally struck out? I guess there's another Gabriel episode coming up soon soon soon, which will presumably sort this out.

Ah whoops, you need more angel grace, huh?

...I shouldn't tease Sam, as this all sinks in he's looking increasingly upset and I think Cas needs to prop him up right now because last time this happened he nearly turned into a miserable puddle of defeat on the floor

Okay don't yell Dean, we're all stressed and this was all out of everyone's hands... you all made the best decisions in the moment

I feel genuinely uncomfortable with that realisation, especially to think that no one dropped the Buckleming idiot ball and they're using genuine unfortunate circumstances to create the tension whaaaaaaaaat

Dean's reaaaaaaally not doing well either. Cas needs to prop him up too.

In his case, maybe a bubble bath.

Mostly cuz he's really grubby, though.

This is also the first time in a while that they haven't wandered through the Buckleming script looking kinda perturbed, but Jensen is acting his freaking socks off.

Where did this material all come from? I said this set up might play to their strengths and avoid their weaknesses but this is uncomfortably not-terrible.

Also LOVING this shot of Dean with Sam and Cas over his shoulders

Dean better not be thinking of hurting Gabriel just to go back though.

I mean, it's urgent, but... like...

what is Jack up to right now? He and Bobby and Mary are not just sitting on their thumbs.

Next episode is another unholy Rowena & Yockey team up, right? Or is that 20?

Oh gosh we're so near the end of the season.

I'm so tired.

night night.

#13x18 #season 13 spoilers #...#I mean kinda silly when Lizbob is the last one to watch the episode but I tag it anyway out of habit #my stuff

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thelunarfeline · 6 years

Text

I still only feel comfortable blogging here

thinking too much about goals and the next years. its so strong because the past year (two years?) have been such a limbo state for me. I feel like a dog being held on a leash and I’m running in place so excited to be let free.

I want to say I’d delete this but I know that this writing will be permanent and public and that will make me more accountable. it's like writing my dreams and goals on a wall or on in a letter left out on a shrine. I’ll never know if anyone is looking but I know that anyone can see it and that makes it more real. Out of my head. Real. BUT this got very long so .....

first off, I don't think a day goes by that I don’t imagine what having my own apartment will be like. It’s getting so close. I want to have an office. I want to have a space that I go to work and it's not the same space I sleep in. I want to have all of my books and art supplies in clear view. I want to have that space where I do only my work-related task and I stay there doing that work and not getting distracted. I want that office where I can leave and close the door. Work will not exist outside of it.

I want light to pour in from the window and I want blank walls where I will sticky note everything. I will have thoughts i will remember a person i will learn something i will have ideas and I will write them down and fill up a wall and connect things. I will have my goals big and clear i will have my most important projects and priorities up and I won't get distracted or feel lost not knowing what to do next.

fucking hell, i will have a cat. do i need to go on? It will be wonderful.

I will have a kitchen all to myself. I won't feel anxious about cooking and people watching or be around me. I won't feel anxious about getting too much in the fridge that doesn't have enough room. I will cook my own food and I will be healthy and i’ll lose weight.

Speaking of which I will be able to exercise in my own place and not feel anxious from people hearing me jump around or people watching me in a gym. if i’m lucky and get a place next to the park, then I’ll go there and do running and other workouts. I’ll just do an hour every other day with body weight exercises and I’ll do it while i’m watching youtube (cuz i gotta keep up with my youtubes!) I’ll stick to the routine and I’ll build up my muscles and maybe pass more.

and I’ll cook for friends! I’ll have people over and we can have game nights or just hang out and I’ll be open and let people just come over just to relax and get away. i hope. i want to hang out with more of my queer friends.

i want get closer to Galen. i want to chill with June shes so smart and interesting and I want to document her. along with Justice. I should keep up with Elana and learn more about the journalism world. i can't wait to be back in the community. i want to spend half of my days (mornings or afternoons) visiting the organizations again. I want to get closer to PRYSM i want to help out DARE. I want to know what people are doing i want to document and share them. i want to help i want to go to all the events i want to build these relationships with time. I want to help out AMOR and document Cata and all her amazing work i want to get back to fighting the police i still want to help the CSA i want to work closely with Steve and get my work out there more and figure out what that means.

I know that I can’t rush into another video project I want to just put a camera up in from of all my young friends but I know that’s not right and so I have to stay the course of taking pictures of events and film it for B roll I’m still trying to understand what I’m doing with video and I know it’s a long shot but I want to work with my footage and pull out moments that I could ask people about to contrast what has happened in two years since and I want to think about it all critically and think of it as evidence or ways to point out larger ideas or something does that make sense?

i need to make my website i don't know what distracts me so much from it. i know i need to i know i need to put up all my photojournalism that's my main work that's what im proud of. i just don't know what kind of work it will get me

i want to do my project with annaleise and document share more about the RI legislation and how it works maybe learn more and really solidify my ideas about what needs to be changed or at least try out the look at art get paid idea.

I should stay in contact with Sara trickerser she seems like she likes me and my work and she has the career that most resembles what mine could go in and I’d really enjoy it that being a cinematographer for both non fiction and fiction work and she’s only maybe ten years my senior so again it’s a realistic mentor to look to so I really look up to her I have other people that stick in my mind Sam polars and that I think his name is Elliot editor those people I want to contact but irl know will be a long shot I want to get close to Neil and hopefully help out his career uprise and get to learn and gain experiences from that along with mike sun. Alex and Jordan too as they progress in their director careers. I hope Eileen kody and Chris will continue again to pass along opportunities to me

There’s any Walsh working with her was great and creatively challenging in the good way.

Omg the PSU and following the kids and getting an understanding of the youth point of view and helping project their voices

i want to do my project about understanding all the systems that exist and affect people and what people are affected by and how to trace it back to a voted in official and keep them accountable do i still want to do my idea about making the CSA ordinances into large posters?

I need to learn more about how that is going I have this lingering idea always still to make all kinds of quote posters not even well-designed ones just to write out progressive reminders and quotes to plaster all over my home. all these projects might not even happen because i dont know whats going on in Providence! I might come back and find out there's something more pressing that i can make a project about and help with. I can bet that the biggest issue still that exists when i come back will be the housing crisis and rent reform. i want to help. i want that time to just live in the community and be a part of something and give and give back instead of being isolated.

i still follow cinematography and filmmaker social media all over the webs and those just get me thinking oh i should also try to get some more AC jobs see if i can get onto sets see if i can be a part of that too. i’d have to travel to Boston or nyc im not sure i want to make those relationships i want to understand better the documentary world. all i have is my my one film and i feel like i should be doing more with it but i dont know what and im not sure if i should and im not sure what is next but i feel like maybe i should be trying to get into these documentary circles at least to maybe get a job as DP or editor mabye maybe maybe????

i worry so much about what am i going to make? what am i going to do with my life. i hate it because on my year off still in limbo just god i was just going i was just doing. i was JUST DOING. and i loved every moment of it i felt no worry no more anxiety no stress about where my life was going to go it was going. part of me is looking back on this writing and thinking im being so unrealistic or im worrying too much. honestly its just being so cooped up and jittery. i’m daydreaming so much because i have nothing else to fucking do and im on the internet so much. I never go on fb at all because the amount of jealousy and feeling that im missing out on my community and all the projects i could be helping out on just fucking kills me it destroys my day. but fuck, i gotta get my internet fix so i’ve been hanging out on instagram and reddit. Instagram is like FB light mixed with reddits problem which is seeing people i do not know doing their thing whether it be activism or filmmaking or even being an artist and I just think why am i not doing that?

I hate being in the limbo state because all I can do is overthink and not just do

and i just feel so held back and its my circumstances and its all going to be fucking gone starting in January and i’m so ready for it. i am feeling my body tense up and my heart rate rise just from writing this all out. its not good i know i know. like fuck. i need to live in the moment. but. Stop. taking a big breath. I’m glad I’ve written this all out. Im excited for a year from now to look at this. honestly, i kinda want to print this out and then mark and annotate on it all the things that did happen or didn't happen. i know im so fucking young and i’m going to get that time to build out the relationships i want.

#2019 #me

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