hot tip: EXCLUSIVE behind-the-scenes content available to those who livechat my fic to me

Ahhhhh here’s something I’ve been thinking about sharing but I got so nervous how fans and antis may take this 🥲🥲🥲

Yeah so, I wasn’t too keen on Adam at first since the idea of him being the leader of arch angels and he looks too similar to Blitzo… But after doing a lot of roleplays with a friend of mine (WHO REALLY IS GOOD AT WRITING ADAM. LIKE KEEPING HIM HOW VIV WANTED BUT STILL MAKE HIM KIND OF CREEPY ) So Adam is a character I’m actually fascinated by. Mainly because he sounds so cringe that I wanna shit on him in my stories XD

Though, I also want to write him as an intimidating villain too.

While me and said friend we talked about our headcanons for Heaven and how Adam was originally a sinner… I feel like that was Viv’s vision. I think he looks more like a demon and does vulgar language is because he’s a sinner who faked his redemption to get the easy way out.

But tbh it works perfect! Since I kind of originally planned for Lucy to have a horrible experience with some angelic priest… but I scrapped it since I wasn’t sure how that work, but since Vivziepop made Adam.. it somehow made me wanna go back to that idea using him.

Basically he acts like a dudebro chud with entitlement and thinks he can do whatever because he’s the “first man of God” which gave him a superiority complex. And he acts like a massive creep to Lucy, so a villainous crush trope.

After his two failed relationships with Lilith and Eve, who are promincuous and defiant in his eyes… He was drawn to Lucy due to her kind, Caring, and humble nature. How she’s a guardian Angel who happens to cook, clean, and is very good with children. To him, that is his ideal woman. A submissive tradwife that can never ever question him and is a doormat for him to take advantage of. But unlucky for him, she never had interest in him and always calls his shit out and rejects his advances.

But in a serious note, I actually want to take what Viv was gonna do for Stolas and blitzo (before Romanticizing them), that she got into a coercion relationship as well as SA.

So trigger warning, he once found out about her dirty little secret (like finding her erotica novels she enjoys reading, Lucy is Aegosexual so she only enjoys that in fiction) and decided it’s the perfect blackmailing. He found these books of hers and threatens to tell all the arch angels about her sinful books to get herself banned.

Now in order from her to behave and comply, he basically wanted her to be his girlfriend in return. And as much as she hates him and doesn’t want to… she never wanted to get banned.. Sure, she agreed and is stuck in a very co dependent relationship with him.

I’m not gonna make him super one dimensional, part of me wants to have him actually act like a narcissist. One who always sweetens her up anytime he makes her feel bad. Or makes everyone believe he’s a caring boyfriend to her. But behind closed doors, he’s terrible.

I’ve been a bit nervous to post this… I know things like this are heavy subjects but from personal experiences, I’m gonna try my best to portray a topic with care. This isn’t gonna be the actual oc x canon ship for Lucy, I actually plan to ship her work another canon character that she actually genuinely loves and feels safe with.

Also, I chose to write this because this is sadly a common thing with Christianity, the toxicity of purity culture and how it affects women and how a lot of disgusting so called preachers say sexist shit. (I watched God is Grey talking about one of them which inspired me ) but I also wanna show the good side of Christianity with someone like Lucy.

I don’t wanna treat this black and white, I genuinely wanna world build the Heaven side of the heaven since I love angelogy and I wish we got that in the show.

Oh and that Angel in the background on the first sketch, that’s a friend’s oc. He’s massively protective over Lucy like a little sister and doesn’t trust Adam.

I’m starting to think maybe I don’t want to get married. Hypothetically I’d love to be in a godly marriage with a man who respects me and sees me as the person that God does (and not only me but women as a whole), but realistically do christian men like that even exist? Mainstream christianity, especially gender discourse, is so watered down and twisted into something that’s more political than biblical. I feel like this is gonna piss off both the christians and feminists, even though I’m both (though some might say I’m not a real feminist, whatever idc lol). Might also tag as Side B because I feel like this is also maybe a Side B mood? But here goes.

Color coded by vague topic, bolded so it’s easier to read.

Like I recently heard of a pastor being criticized for saying it’s a woman’s duty to look good for her husband, and the boomer conservatives were acting like criticisms of this pastor was the end of christianity. There’s no way “looking good” in a biblical sense was anything more than basic hygiene, nowhere near the beauty standards of today; and that is if the idea of looking good for your husband is even in the bible. These people siding with the pastor were saying that any woman who doesn’t shave or hide her “flaws” with makeup or basically completely embody the tradwife meme are bad wives. Like what the literal hell.

Honestly the entire tradwife aesthetic seems to be the goal for a lot of young christian couples, when it’s not inherently biblical. I used to be into it myself because heck yeah staying home, housekeeping, taking care of children, and wearing cute flowery dresses sounds like a dream. But my goals aren’t universal! Some women don’t want kids. Some women want to work. Good and God-honoring women of the bible didn’t all have kids and stay home. I mean the timeline of the bible spans so long, so yeah maybe there were times when most women did. But that doesn’t mean women who didn’t were bad wives or lesser women. Not to mention there’s such a blurred line currently between cute tradwife lifestyle and creeps who fetishize the idea of a traditional (and by traditional they mean submissive) wife. Gross.

Another thing too many christian men do is say women can’t be in any position of power in the church. There is the whole specific issue of whether or not women should be the highest up actual pastor of the church, and I don’t know enough about that whole debate to validate or debunk it, but I’m not talking about that specifically here. Aside from that one position, a lot of christians think women can only teach other women and girls but not guys, even like literal child boys. That’s so weird, like imagine thinking a little boy has more authority than, or even equal to, a grown woman? Couldn’t be me. And this whole idea comes from an out of context “I do not permit women to speak in the church” from a regular human guy. And the reason he said this was that the women around him were spreading heresy. I still think it’s flawed logic to exclude all women from speaking in that situation just because most of them were wrong, but again, this wasn’t a command from God. This was just a guy recording his church experience and doing his flawed human best to manage it. Various women throughout the actual bible outside of this one leader’s timeline held positions of power in various churches. And modern day american christian men think biblical womanhood is all about subservience? Bro what bible are you reading?

I just want to make it clear that these are all just generalizations, but having been in various actual biblical communities and conservative christian communities, I can kinda pick up on the general sexist behaviors of the latter. But unfortunately in today’s political climate more and more young christians are only being exposed to political opinions that are surface level americanized good christian morals, but not actually biblical.

Even on top of that, even if a man knows of these biblical misconceptions, we live in a society. Like we’re constantly exposed to women’s sexualization, and it’s pretty impossible to escape that. I don’t want to spend my life with someone who’s grown up in a world where women are seen as weak, objects, pleasure machines, etc. And yeah we can unlearn these biases (honestly I hate the word unlearn but I can’t think of a substitute rn), but it feels like a hassle to casually figure out whether a guy can make an effort to understand what women go through, and if I were to just bring it up I’d scare them away. And that’s not to say I’m some perfect person who’s never sexualized men, we are all sinners after all and we live in a fallen world etc etc. But a whole society where women are so objectified that it’s normal for little boys to be watching porn, that just doesn’t really happen with little girls. I can’t speak for all women, but when I started seeing men sexually it was in my late teens when I realized like ‘oh I can sexualize men too? wild. ok I’m an adult lemme check it out’. Still sinful, but not ingrained in me from porn ads as a kid the way most young boys have been since like the creation of the internet.

Even the men currently in my life who genuinely want what’s best for me are so incredibly misogynistic it’s baffling. My male family members see any woman who breaks an imaginary dress code or ideology is some kind of deviant. I just want to make it clear that this is MY family and I’M the only one who gets to complain about them. We all love each other here even if the males are horribly wrong.

So I shaved my head for halloween and my dad could barely look at me, not because he was exactly mad or anything but just because I looked ugly to him. He always says ‘close the windows in your apartment because men will spy on you changing’ but after my hair was gone he was all ‘actually don’t bother because nobody will look at you looking like that’ like wow I wasn’t aware men only sexualized women for their hair. Like you really think a gross creeper is gonna be turned off by a fully naked oblivious vulnerable woman just because she’s bald? That’s not how any of this works. And just today my sister was watching a goth youtuber egirl or something, I didn’t see her makeup but my dad said stuff like ‘ew why does she look like that, maybe it’d be cool as a costume but how is she going to get a job’. Like, I’m not one to go ‘women don’t wear makeup for men’ (because most women who only use makeup to hide their insecurities and follow beauty standards very much just do it so they don’t get backlash from others, if not directly to please men), but when it’s a fun crazy look that’s not meant to be pretty, I’m all for that shit and generally I hate when men lose respect for a woman just for wearing something they don’t like. Like fashion isn’t real and your appearance should be as costumey or weird as you want without people losing respect for you. Also like...do men know that makeup isn’t permanent?? Like if she wanted a job that required no makeup she could easily wipe her face off and get one?? Not only that, but people can work from home and/or be self employed. Maybe youtube itself was this girl’s job. Who the hell cares man. And the worst thing here is my brother outright said one time “the root cause of feminism is pride”. B r u h. And this was back when I considered myself an anti-feminist, even then I knew that feminism started for good reason and I was absolutely furious. I think I kept it to myself like a coward lol, but if anyone said that to me now I’d tear them apart. In a debate I mean, not like literal violence.

Tldr: I’m not trying to say men are inherently more evil because there’s evil in everyone, but the way it takes shape in men in most societies is so insidious and inescapable. I love my family and guy friends, but I don’t want to deal with one in a romantic/sexual relationship because I don’t know if even the most educated and goodest christian boi in this world can see me as a true equal. It sucks because I want sex and children, but when the mainstream idea of hetero sex is female submission, it just makes me shrivel up and contemplate becoming a nun. I’m not even catholic. But even nuns are sexualized and degraded in coomer’s disgusting brains. In conclusion I’m going feral and starting my own woman-only church in the woods let’s go ladies.

the harmful misogynist hypocritical movement called "pro life" seems pretty cut and dry on the surface. they say abortion is murder and women shouldn't be able to do them. counter argument is it's the woman's body and as such the woman's choice, and that women should always be able to have access to a safe medical procedure, especially if you consider that most abortions are done on dead fetuses or fetuses with issues that will end up killing the mother. I'm gonna be using some pretty cisnormative language here and piss off pro-lifers and a lot of catholics, so here's the disclaimers. I'm trans and I'm saying women and mother because it takes less time to say that than "cis dfab and trans dmab people" and "uterus-owning fetus gestation host", I was pro-life a couple years ago, and fuck the world's biggest cult called catholicism. with that out of the way, let's proceed.

I don't think it's quite as simple as "abortion is murder". clearly it's not. factually speaking, a lot of abortions are done within the first few weeks before the zygote could conceivably be even remotely resembling human, let alone live if separated from the mother. a lot of them are also done when the fetus dies prepartum. this spares the mother the pain and trauma the pain of childbirth to a baby that's already dead, and may even save their lives, and it will certainly spare them the costs of hospitalized childbirth which costs a lot of money. there are cases in which the fetus could conceivably survive out of the womb and its birth wouldn't endanger the mother any more than childbirth usually does, but those cases aren't any less justified because let's look at the reasons why women might get abortions.

(trigger warning: rape mention ahead.)

but first let's look at why transgender people with uteri specifically would get them. gender dysphoria, in addition to the nine months of hormonal hell pregnant people go through, would be like... double hell. passing purposes for trans people who cannot let people around them know they're trans (usually for work and things like that) are also of importance as if you see a pregnant man that challenges the social norms instilled in most of society and because of misogyny and transphobia might alter the way you communicate with that person on an even larger scale degree than just everyday misogyny that alters people's interactions with pregnant cis women versus non pregnant cis women.

anyway, there are other reasons that affect both cis women and dfab trans people. there is rape, of course. sad as it is, it's a common fact of our society. people with vaginas frequently get raped; 1 in 6 I'm pretty sure is the statistic. and rapists aren't usually known for condom usage. also pedophilia which constitutes rape. many children become pregnant from rape and anyone with an ounce of compassion and logic knows it's wrong to force a literal child to carry a baby to term. there are also abusive cases in which pregnancy in unhealthy relationships can occur, and some women may get abortions for their own safety. also, specifically in china, there are women who will get abortions to comply with the child limit laws, or to abort female fetuses to avoid their husbands either killing or abandoning them because that shit happens a lot and it's fucking toxic masculinity "I need a son to carry on my legacy and not a weak woman that won't" misogynist bullshit. and there are women with careers who literally don't have time to be parents as well, and if they do then they have to balance commitment to their work and their baby and that's unfair to both the parent and child, and they're forced to make this concession because god forbid the father steps up and parents the child he helped fucking make; the world won't easily let women have children and careers because "a woman's place is at home with the family in the kitchen making dinner" tradwife bullshit.

all of those are bad things but I'm not gonna be discussing them in this post.

everything up until now has been based on facts and evident social trends. from here on out it's all speculation.

I think the pro life movement is so much more insidious than just misogyny. sure, that's there. some people feel that women only exist to get pregnant and give birth to predominantly sons because they're degenerate redneck filth who hate females. however, analyzing everything else that's part of it, it feels a whole lot worse. let's run through every point I've made so far:

bodily autonomy

medical safety

preventing death

gender dysphoria

rape victims

pedophilia victims

abusive relationships

chinese women's safety

women's career importance

now, that paints an interesting picture. it's all rights and safety for women, minorities, and victims of sex crime. somehow that's just not enough to sway people from thinking "maybe there are good reasons for abortion and we're being assholes screaming at and physically assaulting and killing people who take part". somehow they're still parroting "abortion is murder" like they don't think for themselves.

they don't care about women having rights to a career or bodily autonomy, especially sexual, regardless of their age, even if it includes their very life... & they don't care about trans people.

and that shit invaded the weirdest spaces. fanfiction dot net circa the late 2000s was chock full of girls with profile descriptions with anti abortion copypasta. but why? how on earth did that get into a community predominantly composed of young impressionable teenage girls? ...oh wait a minute.

let's also take into account the juxtaposition of slut shaming, sexual objectification, a total lack of male willingness to use condoms, and rape, as well as everything in that bulleted list.

it really feels to me like pro lifers desire to live in a world where babies born with vaginas solely exist to become sexual objects the moment they become sexually appealing (which can be at any age honestly from a pedophile's POV), but not because they desire to (since they'll be labeled sluts) but because a man desires to fulfill his sexual desires (double standard), whether she wants him to or not, and when she gets pregnant she's locked into a relationship no matter how old she is (like the hundreds of pentecostal forced marriages at 11 years old, for example) and no matter whether it's healthy as long as the Man™ gets his son and his hot dinner at 5pm like it's fucking 1953 (because god forbid the woman be the breadwinner or even leave the house to do anything but shop for groceries, let alone vote, amirite), and if she dies during childbirth, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ oh well, the heartbroken man suffering from Manpain™ will just pick up another lady off the street at half his age who will cure his broken heart with her vagina and replace the last one, since women are apparently inherently replaceable; and if a wife gives birth to a daughter, hey, she'll be a carnation, pure and sweet until she becomes sexually appealing and starts the process all over again. also everybody is cis and straight. and also white, neurotypical, able bodied, rich from hard work and daddy's money, oh yeah and christian, but not the protestant heathens, I mean the catholics who are the only ones who won't go to hell. everything exists to serve the man.

okay wow so it's not just basic misogyny. it's the systematic patriarchal eurocentric values.

the pro life movement is just a small subset of all of the other things wrong with the world.

"but sheena you can't say that pro lifers are all misogynist, transphobic, racist, queerphobic, ableist, classist, rife with religious intolerance, anti feminist, and otherwise harmful in other ways! it's an stereotypical overgeneralization!"

show me one fucking pro lifer who isn't at least half of those. show me one. I only wanna see one. I just wanna see one pro lifer who isn't bigoted towards any demographic of people. prove me wrong and show me ONE. please.

you can't. they're all mouth breathers incapable of singular conscious thought outside of a hive mind of facebook memes and post-evangelical moral superiority and smug condescension and an obsession with the 1950s. they're physically incapable of individualism, intelligent thought, and basic empathy skills. I know this because I WAS ONE OF THEM. THAT'S HOW THEY ARE.

there may be some deviations here and there but we all know the dangers of "#not all _____".

so fuck the pro life movement and fuck you if you're pro life. you're pro death penalty and pro military and pro cops and pro letting homeless people starve and pro letting people die from preventable causes because of lack of access to healthcare and pro letting women die from childbirth because ~abortion is bad~.

you're not pro life.

you're just anti choice.

and anti woman.

(and anti trans because you all use exclusively cisnormative language to the point that I used it while speaking on the subject).

so go ahead and send more money to trump to save unborn babies. he'll spend that money on bombing the middle east and building a racism wall.

you care more about white fetuses than about brown skinned people in general including their babies. your ignorant hatred is transparent.

because you're not pro life.

above all else,

if anything,

you're fucking pro death.