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tact-and-impulse · 7 years

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Fuyugomori Part 2

And I’m back with Thursday update! It’s snowing a little bit where I am, so isn’t that lucky? :D I do diverge from most fic writers at one point, so if you’d like to hear my rationale, head over to this fic on FF.net or AO3 for the end note.

Part 2: Tsurara

“Oh. It’s snowing.” Kaoru remarked.

Kenshin finished lighting the brazier and looked up. The back door was slightly open, as she stared out into the yard. She seemed contemplative, startling when he approached.

“So it is.” He said. It was a calm moment, as they watched the snowflakes sift down, but he wondered if she was feeling cold.

Suddenly, she straightened and turned to him with a smile. “I was thinking that we should have soup tonight. What do you say?”

“That would be good.”

“Then, I’ll go to the market to buy eggs.” She walked around him, heading for the front.

He followed. “This one will come along.”

She stopped, her eyes wide as she glanced at him. “A-are you sure?”

“Is there a reason why not?”

She hesitated, before shaking her head. With that, they set off. The snow was sticking to the ground, dusting the path with white. A few snowflakes caught in Kaoru’s hair, melting away within seconds. Neither of them said anything, as they exhaled into the scarves wound around their necks. His nose gradually became damp against the cloth. He was about to ask if she was warm enough, when she spoke.

“Kenshin, um,” She took a deep breath. “If you have to talk, I’m always here to listen.”

He blinked. “…thank you, Kaoru-dono. But that goes for you as well. Is there something bothering you?”

“I should be the one saying that! No, wait.” She gave an exasperated sigh, before directly meeting his gaze. “I know you might be remembering Tomoe-san, and what snow probably means to you.”

“Oro?”

“But if you’re feeling down, I don’t want you to be quiet about it. I’ll do the best I can to help you, I can even give you space, if you need-”

“That won’t be necessary.” He interrupted. Space from her was the last thing he wanted. “Kaoru-dono, this one is very grateful for your kindness. However, it’s been more than ten years. This one cannot blame the snow for his memories, and because of what Enishi did, you know that this one has learned to accept her death. This one will not forget her, but this one is ready to move forward. Also, if there is anything that you have taught this one, it is that there are only two things that matter: the present and the future. So, do not worry. This one is alright.”

She bit her bottom lip. “Then, did I just hurt you, by bringing it up?”

“No, you didn’t. As this one said, it’s been long enough.” He told her.

After that, her mood lightened and she talked about how Yahiko would probably visit for free meals over the next few weeks. She helped in preparing dinner; her cutting skills were good if she concentrated. He still handled the seasoning, though. The eggs from the market trip were boiled and mixed into that night’s oden. With the broth and the heat of the brazier, he didn’t feel cold at all.

The next morning, there were glittering icicles on the rooftop. A fine powder of snow had coated everything, and the air was crisp. He used a shovel, to clear the walkway. As he pushed the snow away, he was in deep thought. There weren’t many recreational opportunities in winter, but perhaps, he could invite Kaoru out to a theater play. That was more in line with a courtship, although he wasn’t sure if she’d appreciate it. He didn’t want her to worry about finances, but he had to do more than give flowers…

Something hard and cold disintegrated against his head. He blurted. “Oro?”

From the front step, Kaoru happily called out. “There’s just enough for a snowball!” She knelt down, gathering more snow in her hands. She was quick, because she threw it a second later; he dodged it with a grin. He hadn’t felt this thrill in a while, and well, it wouldn’t hurt to play. He formed a snowball in his hands and ran up to her. She yelped and ducked before the snowball collided into the wall, but she stumbled. He caught her, so she bent over him instead of falling. The action literally brought him to his knees, and that made her laugh.

“Thanks, Kenshin!”

He couldn’t reply. Her face was red from the cold and breathlessness, and her smile was of pure joy. He wanted to kiss her. The realization struck him at full force, and he was momentarily stunned. Then, a bit of cold snow slipped down the back of his neck and he winced as he reached to remove it.

“That’s another one for me! And you still haven’t gotten me yet!” She declared, breaking away to make more snowballs. He followed suit, foregoing shoveling for the impromptu fight she had started.

In the end, he completely forgot about inviting her to the theater.

***

It started with a dry throat, as it usually did. He noticed, when Kaoru drank more tea than usual. He went along with her excuses, but he checked their supply of medicine. The following day, her eyes were glazed over, and he gently touched his hand to her forehead. Her skin was burning, and he frowned.

“It must have been from the snowball fight the other day.”

“Geez, I can’t believe it.” She sighed. “But we did have fun.”

“Yes, that’s true. Here, Kaoru-dono.” He unfolded a spare blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. “If you keep warm, you’ll recover faster.”

Then, she began to cough. He told himself not to worry, but he couldn’t help it. The cough had sounded minor at first, but now, it was three days into her sickness, and the fits had worsened. His stomach tightened, at the sight of her doubled over and gasping for air. He rubbed her shoulder for comfort before stoking the fire in the bathhouse, so she could sit in the steam. Dinner was rice porridge, along with her medicine, and she grimaced as she swallowed the bitter doses. He rolled out her futon, adding fresh blankets to surround her. She had to sweat out her fever, and it would be a cold night. Nevertheless, she stared in dismay at his work.

“Stop treating me like a baby.” She grumbled. “I’m only sick, that’s all.”

“Still, this one is here to help.” He fixed on a smile, ready to let her rest, when she pulled at his sleeve.

“But, um¸ can you stay here with me? Just for a while.” She asked, and he couldn’t deny her.

“As long as you need.” He said and sat against the wall, helplessly listening as she convulsed with another cough. Over the years, he had come across many ill people, but this was Kaoru. He certainly knew how much her well-being meant to him; he didn’t have pleasant memories of disease either. His thoughts automatically went to a distant time, of shivering bodies and sour air. If he closed his eyes, he could almost hear the insistent, pleading voices.

Shinta, you have to go. You can’t get sick too.

“Kenshin? Kenshin, what’s wrong?”

He jolted. “No, this one is fine.”

“Don’t say that, your eyebrows are like this again.” She pushed her own together, giving him a pointed look. “Is it because I’m coughing too much?”

“Something like that wouldn’t bother this one.” He paused. “It’s only that this one’s remembering, when this one’s family died of cholera.”

Her gaze softened. “That’s right, you said they did, when you told me about Akane-san, Kasumi-san, and Sakura-san.” She propped herself up, gathering a blanket around herself. “What was your family like?”

“Well, this one lived on a farm with his parents and older brothers.”

“No, I meant what were they like? Their names, their personalities, how all of you lived. Things like that.” Her voice was gentle, and she looked so earnest.

He was surprised, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. It was only that no one had ever asked beyond the brief description he gave, and he realized that he wanted to tell. He paused, wondering where to start, but Kaoru seemed to have mistaken his silence for reluctance.

She waved her hands in sheepish dismissal. “Ah, only if you want to share! You don’t have to…”

“No, this one wants to, but it’s been a very long time.” He scratched his head. “This one had three older brothers. Ryouta was the oldest, then Jinta, and Yuuta. This one doesn’t remember that much…Ryouta was smart, he often talked about farming techniques. Jinta always picked fights with the other children, but that was because he was short, like this one. Yuuta was always telling jokes, he was very quick at that. They were much older, so they worked the fields with our father, while this one stayed at home to help our mother.”

“Ryouta, Jinta, Yuuta. And the youngest was named Kenshin?” She mused. “Well, one doesn’t fit the pattern.”

He smiled. “This one was not Kenshin then; that name was given by Shishou. This one was born as Shinta.” The name didn’t feel like his, no one else had heard it since that day Hiko found him.

“Shinta.” She softly repeated. As if the name had freed it, another memory dislodged: hands cupping his face, red hair in a bun, a doting voice addressing him. But it was Kaoru’s that returned him to reality. “You must have been a cute child.”

“Oro? Well, this one couldn’t say.” He felt warm with embarrassment.

“I think so, considering how...” She trailed off, but the last few words sounded like ‘how you look now’. He blinked, wondering if that was what he heard, but she changed the subject. “And your parents?”

“This one’s father was…calm. One year, the crops died, but he only said that the planting would go well in spring. He never raised his hand in anger, he never argued with anyone. And he loved this one’s mother with all he had. This one once caught them sitting together on the front step, watching the moon.” He had a faint image of them. His father had an arm wrapped around the smaller figure beside him. His father’s pale brown hair looked muted, in comparison to the crimson locks on his shoulder.

“That’s sweet.” Kaoru murmured. “And which one did you take after? I bet it was your mother.”

Kenshin smiled. “You’re right. This one didn’t know where she came from, only that she wasn’t from the village. But she taught this one a little about herbs, and she sang all the time. She was cheerful and could never refuse someone when they needed help, including the sick. When cholera came to the village, she was the first one to go out and care for everyone else.”

Kaoru looked downwards. “But still, she must have been very kind.”

“She was, and no one blamed her. After she became sick, this one’s father followed. Yuuta was next, then Jinta and Ryouta. This one tried to help, but they told him to abandon them.”

This was difficult to explain, and he slowed down. They had locked him out one day, while he searched for herbs. His brothers’ voices blended together, telling him to leave. His father was rational to the end, insisting that at least, the youngest had to survive and get help. His mother, however, had called out that he was loved and that was why he couldn’t stay with them any longer.

Kaoru’s face was distraught, and she began to cough again. He adjusted the blanket around her, quickly moving on.

“By then, it was clear that not much could be done. This one was sent to another village for medicine, but they quarantined this one. By the time it ended, everyone…was already gone. Then, this one was sold to the slavers, and the rest you know, Kaoru-dono.”

“Kenshin,” She said, when she had enough air. “That was terrible. It’s no wonder, you’re always fussing over me now.”

“This one apologizes, for upsetting you.”

That irked her, because she scowled. “Well, don’t apologize. I wanted to hear it, the good and the bad, because that’s what we should talk about. And I’m really glad you told me, so there.” She crossed her arms, and he smiled.

“They would have liked you.”

“A-are you sure?” Despite her uncertainty, she seemed pleased.

He nodded. “Yes, this one is sure. But it’s late, and you should rest, Kaoru-dono.”

Obediently, she fell onto her pillow, but she lifted her arm to motion him closer. “You can bring your futon here.”

“Oro?”

She nervously wet her lips. “Remember after we came home, you had nightmares? And I stayed with you one night, so you’d sleep? You owe me, so…just stay here too, Kenshin.” She patted the space next to her, and he didn’t have the will to resist. A few minutes later, he was settled on his own futon beside her.

“Only until you sleep. Then, this one will go.” He said it almost to himself, but her hand clasped over his.

“I don’t want you to be alone, not after all you told me. I want to be here for you, and besides, I’d feel better if you were here for me too.” She sounded flustered, although she gripped his hand tighter. Her skin was still warm with fever, but he squeezed back. And without meaning to, he fell asleep.

The sky was brightening, when he woke to the fragrance of Kaoru’s hair. He blinked to see that her head was almost touching his arm. She had unconsciously rolled closer to him, at the edge of her bedding. However, she looked so content, and his heart tightened. He had no desire to be anywhere else, and he allowed himself to close his eyes again.

#rurouni kenshin #kenkao #fanfic #himura kenshin #kamiya kaoru

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