#now i cant change it sad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yrsonpurpose · 2 months

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You are not who I raised. Oh, that is all I am, mother.

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petricorah · 29 days

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what if i got really into haikyuu again

#its back on netflix and ive been watching it #still as good as ever #i stopped watching it in high school when i stopped playing volleyball because it made me too sad but now im back...#back to my roots...#scared to draw oikawa again after so long #also cant focus on anything because of this fucking tinnitus that keeps getting worse wtf #anyway...oikawa drawing...hopefully...soon #notmyart #someone send me good oikawa screencaps to practice #god i should read the manga too...#also completely unrelated but i was thinking about learning a bit of japanese again but i think i gave away all my books...ugh #'again' i say like i didn't read a really good hq fanfic that changed the trajectory of my life

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lemongogo · 1 year

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sooooo❤️ ive been misreading chapter 41 thsi ENTIRE TIMEE thinking that was knives and not vash

#like i knew it was him when he was talking w her in the medbay ab the blank ticket whtever whatver #but for some REASONN!!! (<poor reading comprehension) i ws like oehh.. sad knives moment #i thknk when they were like . ‘knives u dont rmbr anything🤯’ i thought jt was ab the knife scene HAJAHA #no tht guy was just knocked out the whole time HELPP #whoaaagg that changes so much . HELPP NOW IT MAKES SENSE WHY SHE WAS LIKE . asking why he was being so calm ab everythjng #😭😭😭😭😭😭#omgg new vash lore (2 MEEE)#trigun #trigun spoilers #trigun maximum #sorry i literally cant like. make sense of the manga 2 save my life #this is y u dont read everything in like 2 days

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robotsafari · 1 month

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i havent even watched legacy yet but that fucking kh world did some.. unexpected things to me

#beep boop you want fries with that #kingdom hearts #re:ddd #sora #quorra #tron #riku #was trying to redesign rinzler’s helmet bc god. its. kinda fucking boring. leaning into the beast more #also teh helmets eyes are supposed to look angry when its down and sad when its up. bwaaa #i heard rinzler acts like a cat. thats soemthing to look forward to when i watch the movie. grins.#the three dots are supposed to be the classic t. btw.#theres four you just cant see the last one.#made sora look more liek his space paranoids look because he needs to retain the 80s swag.#this reads like a change log.#and my good friend quorra. idk if i’ve even posted that redesign b4.#yes im making her quote the ur my pockets eddie post #i think she needs to chew on things. maybe she should maul clu with her fucking teeth.#shes so unorthadox girl to me. do you see my vision.#also dw about riku falling or paralelling tron or anything hes fiiine.#speaking of the falling art. its old. so its inaccurate to how i draw riku now #before my brain was huge basically.#its so funny how i drew this much art for legacy like. i love tron 1982. i havent watched legacy yet but i feel like im gonna hate it.#the kh world was okay but it had a lot of potential and. uh. made me a BIT insane at the last part in sora’s story (EXPLODES)#also this post is tagged re:ddd for. reasons. dw about it.#ANYWAY GN ITS 1 AM. RUNS AT MACH SPEED.

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lunarharp · 6 months

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lazy scribbling of my baldur's gate 3 characters

#*emerges from 430 HOURS of life-changing playtime blearily like a lost and confused kitten*#i lost my interest in drawing bc everything is too sad & horrible right now. it was a luxury and privilege to lose myself in this instead #what follows will be my personal and trivial emotions about that #i'll do better proper drawings later. for me. they are both so very dear to me... deeply dear...unforgettable journeys of fate #truly have played like one possessed for the past few weeks. you have no idea. what do i do now. what do i do.#their personalities are so vivid to me though they mostly made the same choices. both intersex and they/them - canonically <3 #i missed out on FOUR PARTY MEMBERS in my first playthrough due to not understanding anything whatsoever.#gloaming ended up with wyll and pavane romanced karlach and astarion. and ended up with the one i did NOT plan on. this wasnt the plan #one of the most fulfilling romance paths i've ever..i cant say more..it all got too immersive and now i have to just.. MOVE ON ??????????#live in THIS world where i can't gut imperialism personally and emerge alive from that?#without Long Resting? without my character requesting a kiss from their beloved after a tough day ??#without preparing my little spells? without channelling divinity from my death god to keep us all alive?#without dyeing my man's clothes fancy colours for him? without him Approving whenever i lie and double-cross our enemies #without sharing clothes with my ex? without choosing to eat the heavy food first so that the weight is easier on her Carrying Capacity?#without orchestrating ways for all of my friends to kill the abusers that ruined their lives for a decade or even 200 years?#without experiencing degrading horrors on a daily basis but in a cathartic way where we always make it back to our rooms at the inn #WITHOUT SPEAK WITH ANIMALS???????????#at least there's music. just like with persona 5 that will always be with me. always #like how p5 melodies take me back to those feelings. those rich and personal feelings.... BUT THIS WAS A WAY MORE NUTS EXPERIENCE #i thought i would hate it. i did at times. thought it would desensitise me to various things. it did. but there was so much more..it was...#Well anyway *continues my life* imagine if dnd was real..something to think about

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ariseastrae · 3 months

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The fact that Dangerous is in the second last saga is destroying me. I'm yearning for the full song now but there's still 3-4 sagas before it'll come out.

#the only thing in my mind now is #Its a LitTle Bit DANgerous #gonna need a MindSet CHANGE for this #i need it now #this musical is such a damn bop #epic the musical #epic #epic the vengeance saga #odysseus #odyssey #this isnt hate btw #just me selfishly sad #cant wait for the other sagas as well anyways

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jessiesjaded · 29 days

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random picture dump :)

#cat update: theyre good #clancy update: he just ate roast chicken so hes also good #jess update: Im good #im happier rn than anytime since 2020 i think #still up and down but way less up and down- if that makes sense?#its nice its good- its autumn now and i always look forward to winter #suffice to say: i hope you guys are well too #i saw in an email i have messages on discord but last time i attempted to log in it wouldnt allow me so... if you msged there and i never #responded its bc i cant get in to respond and tbh #i think discord was maybe terrible for my mental health #which is a little sad bc that was the main way i talked to people but also... idk #jury is currently out on that front we'll see maybe i'll download it again #but regardless i miss you but im well and i hope youre well and i hope one day coming back wont feel so daunting #relationships are hard arent they? i hate things changing and ending more than anything else in the world #side effect of my dad dying when i was little i think #but the main thing thats been making me feel guilty and uneasy lately is feeling guilt about disappearing from people so again!#im trying and we'll see !#yeah :)

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the-kipsabian · 2 months

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i hate it that watching aew doesnt make me happy

and yes i know theres alternatives. yes i have rather easy access to most of it. no i dont have the spoons to try to get invested into anything new i havent been keeping up with in forever. yes i would like to try but im in a spot where its just really difficult for me to do that personally

i just. i just want something to get excited about about a product that im already familiar with and that im watching. thats it

#swerve might be the one thing keeping me afloat right now tbh. and come revolution that might change if he doesnt win the title #and then they dont know what to do with him anymore. and its gonna suck ass again #i dont know. theres just a lot i cant get behind and i just dont find interesting #i know this is very much a me issue but its making me sad and i dont want to be sad about a thing that i want to like #this isnt even just 'oh i miss my faves' issue. its just like. everything. this product just doesnt do it for me right now. and thats sad #i should sleep my head hurts ough #wrestling musing

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glitterghost · 4 months

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Life just feels like everyone moves on without you and no. I don't like it at all.

#i have thoughts that arent coherent enough to throw into these tags #but it makes me sad and lonely like how can you just do that #its like watching people grow and change into people you hardly recognize #but theres a trend with it like they start to get extremely ✝️ in ways they never were and its like i dont feel like i know you anymore #and people just laser gaze to marriages and children and holy shit i cant relate #i am a mix of too many varying thoughts and feelings but it all boils down to i miss people #i miss my friends ans how we were and how life was and how you felt like you knew tour place in lofe for a brief moment in time with those #people #those typos are brutal #so we are going to end it here #for now

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months

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...

#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before #is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things #the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the #weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad #not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a #prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country #my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for #treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad #as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain #shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing #to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird #when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk #i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach #out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home #somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long #term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting #whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot #i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors #i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival #unrelated

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mbat · 2 months

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every day i am so glad g3 came out btw. there was such a stretch of time where i thought that monster high as a franchise was dead, which was so weird when it was such a game changer to the doll scene when it came out! there was no news and there was barely anything to speculate over, and like a miracle that changed and there was stuff to look forward to :] also its been honestly pretty great imo, i really love g3. i just love that this franchise is continuing and that its so good at the same time!

#my post #i know its been back for a few years now but gosh #i adored it as a kid. i never got into g2 though.... i still dont want to *shudders*#i know its not exactly the end of the world if the franchise *did* come to an end but itd still be sad imo #it at least deserves to go out on a bang if it ever did #ive been saying it a lot but g3 is also... kinda my favorite gen? which is i think not a popular opinion ajfjshd #i try not to let nostalgia run my opinions of things. g1 was iconic and amazing and thatll never change. but g3 is also great and awesome!!#sigh i still never got to hang up my dolls </3 the room im in now is full of decorations that arent mine but i cant exactly move them around #or maybe i can idk i never asked but its whatever #monster high

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hanzajesthanza · 9 months

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if i thought the witcher was painfully realistic. i was wrong. it is a very clear fairytale that comforts and soothes. even in its realistic take on the genre, it inspires, even in its tragedy, it comforts.

evil is defeated epically in a final battle in the darkness, the valiant heroes fall together, the lovers die united, and all pass into legend and are remembered for ever and ever. and the spirit of our hero returns now and again to save and deliver us from evil… they become legend and in that legend they are immortal…

#txt #the witcher books #OK HUSSITE TRILOGY SPOILERS IN TAGS:#like i cant say that evil WASNT defeated in the hussite trilogy because he definitely was but not in an epic final battle but #the fact that its like in the very penultimate bit and its not reynevan who does it but his NIECE it is just so…#we came all this way and there was no ultimate showdown #i mean there kind of was but not in a big castle but in some plains with a windmill and #it wasnt really a final battle but a kill-eachothers-girlfriends bit #birkart didnt even get his hands NEAR samson before he died #scharley and reynevan just left… at the end… just like in the beginning of the first book EXCEPT NOT because everything has changed them #well has changed reynevan. kind of dandelion and geralt in that way as the second man remains a constant #reynevan no longer being like a young man but a. man. but this didnt come with grand heroism and valour. it just came with. pain and #the eventual wearing down and tarnishing of his zeal and belief and love #thats … literally so fucking dark but also so realistic and it scares me lmaooooo #and people say the witcher was anticlimatic and sad at the end LMAOOOO OHHHH NOOOOO #lux perpetua like damn that dude really was walking in darkness groping along like a blind man after losing his eternal light #ohhhhh i get it now so god has abandoned us and he also never really existed ohhh okay #his love died as he was helpless to save her and he didnt even avenge his brother and his friend trio crumpled #like like. just trying to put this all into perspective

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charlie-boyfriend · 2 months

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Do sane people act like this?

#char dev #i bought mz just now the sale is crazy...#a post was going around claiming u can change default tilesize with it without plugins so ofc... Scaling them worked just fine on mv but #i hated the look #teheheheheheh #He cant stop buying thats sad

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silenthillbunni · 3 months

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📓🕯️🐇🖤pt.2

#only 30 tags lol i ran out... so furthermore #we only get one life. im gonna try as much as i can to enjoy the little moments. nd to not give up on myself nd my life #i will die one day anyway. why rush it. i'll enjoy as many books and as many walks and songs and tv shows as possible #if i get a loan nd have more money i wanna bleach my hair nd dye my hair green #and later this year i think i might change my name #it was the name i wanted to change to from the beginning. but i was in such a bad headspace i just picked eden at random #i do kinda like it now nd im attached to it but i more feel like this other name actually is me. my birth name nd my current name dont feel #really right. so maybe. i havent decided yet. like i rlly dont know. im also attached to this name for some other reason. like it's who i am #to a person i rlly like and if i change... will i be anything to them? i cant put it into words but that makes me hesitate #but it's unhealthy to stay attached to someone i cant truly have even if i want to. so i mean. idk im just weird abt it #but i do kinda wanna change my name (to embla. my mom wanted to give me that name but my dad was like nooo >.<) i am not 100% sure tho so #when i've been getting used to going to school nd working out at the gym. nd after my surgery nd i have more energy #i will try to face my avpd and try apps for making friends. there r two apps where u can find new girl friends!! maybe i can try that #also like i've never tried apps but i think maaaaaybe i can use bumble to try to find friends and women to date. potentially. idk.....#rn it's hard for me to think in those terms bc. i mean i am hung up on someone!!!! i cant evwn imagine dating or being intimate w anyone els #sometimes i feel like.. they're the only person i've ever felt like it'd even be possible. who i'd event want to do that w #not only physically but emotionally. so ig it's even harder to let go bc im so scared i will never feel like that w anyone else #but i rlly need to try to make the most of whatever life i have. the world will collapse soon anyway #that makes me even more sad that i cant be w who i wanna be w nd do what i wanna do but #all pain will all be completely descimated eventually. it's not forever bc life isnt forever #i've just never felt this before. like i want smth to be real so bad but if it happened once surely it can happen again? right?#i wont spend my life alone without intimacy and love and comfort nd support nd understanding right???? :o hope not #im still so sad nd exhausted rn. nothing in my life is working nd theres no repreive nd no help #it gets sooo hard to endure everything sometimes when everything just keeps piling up and gets so heavy it feels like im drowning #nd atm i dont feel like i have any anchor. nothing that keeps me grounded nd im just floating away nd im constantly being overwhelmed by my #feelings nd emotions. im like a stupid little kid who dont understand how to handle what im feeling. or make rational decisions #i feel so ... stupid and useless. i dont know what im doing. i have no idea. i have no compass. its so scary

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bunkernine · 1 year

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society if hoo had them at uni age and the lost trio went to chb and chiron is like "how tf are ANY of u alive and unclaimed". wilderness was just community college.

#on a serious note this changes a lot actually. annabeth and percy would not be in chb anymore so when percy goes missing #its like. a genuine possibility and fear because demigods don't make it that old. there is also some added time between tlo and tlh as well #further adding to jasons isolation as being even WEIRDER than everyone else. he also would've been praetor for longer so maybe the romans #wouldve cared more. this also does away with the plot hole of ppl not giving a shit that jason piper and leo (and dylan) straight up #dipped. introducing piper especially to a summer camp makes chb less appealing because they're too old for that and thus makes their #departure from chb make more sense in toa. yet also it opens up the possibility of new rome uni.... which i cannot see any reason as to why #leo would not go there!!!!! outside of being banned cuz he bombed new rome lol. but pipers sexuality arc works for college too!!! ur never #too old to find urself. but also this is the question of if you are able to relatively function in society (this is more for piper leo fran #and i guess percy) then why would you even fight this prophecy??? anyway lol them being college aged is perfect cuz percy is literally #going to a new place and having a new transition with new ppl... like u do in college LOL. now the question is would hazel still be 13. nic #is a lot older at this point and perhaps has the same age gap as bianca and him did 🤔 cant remember. but also don't know why hazel was 13 #in the first place lol. idk. in my college hoo she is just a senior in hs about to graduate from spqr and thinking about staying there or #possibly going to newru after seeing frank make the decision the previous year! SAD!#anyway in hoo. percy and annabeth are sophomores. frank and the lost trio are freshman.#but then in toa. percy annie frank and the lost trio are all graduating cuz percy got held back and Annabeth failed after tartarus fr.#but then also know that piper never went to newru and is adamant about going to mortal uni. and leo kills in newru but is bored. nvm i #forgot he died 🧍‍♂️ ummmmmm ok. ignore leo. and jason actually. so um. ok that really threw me off but are u getting it. that's when apollo #is like 'heeyyyyy i need help pwease 🥺' and they're all like 'dude.'#OK!#but also i ackowedge that this is a children's book and i am not its demographic so god be with you.

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drbtinglecannon · 2 years

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Goddamn Alador's face here.

He said he hasn't had a day off in 5 years and it fucking shows in his appearance & demeanor -- things that were chalked up to just be his personality but are maybe actually signs of his suffering -- but when you see Odalia threatening to really put the kids to manual labor the palpable fear on his face is devastating. (Like, her own kids!!!! It probably would've fallen mostly on Amity as she's the one skilled with abomination, but also probably would've resulted in forcing the twins to get abomination sigil sealed instead of studying any of their actual interests)

I feel bad hating him before, like yeah he was neglectful to the point of not talking to his kids prior to this pivotal moment of him finally standing up to her, but with this context revealed he probably hasn't really had a chance to talk to any of them since like... Amity's bday party where they forced her to ditch Willow, lest they become worked like cattle too. He's beaten down and mistreated but if he just shoulders it all himself at least the kids won't get too much of the overflow abuse, right?

Makes you wonder what his side of the bargain was to keep her from exploiting the kids, or how it got to that bargain to begin with. If the closeness they displayed back at Hexside was ever genuine, or if Odalia sought him out specifically thanks to Oracle magic and seeing a wealthy future and it was all some long con, or if maybe it was genuine at one point but then eventually over time it rotted from the core and suddenly Alador found himself locked into this nightmare.

This reveal alone really gives a lot of justification to all of Alador's previous behaviors, and thanks to King of all people he finally got to get out of dodge and save the kids in the process. Good for him. Happy divorce, dude

#toh spoilers #alador blight #odalia blight #tho she aint a blight anymore huh haha #cant believe i like alador now but hes a sopping wet paper bag of a man w a sad backstory & cool aesthetic so. well this is classic me #i have to formally apologize to this sad man. we were led to believe he was also abusive but hes just sadly unable to save the kids #no wonder darius became a hater. like 'youre choosing THAT over ME? fuck this im out. gonna go become bffs w a furry & overthrow the govt'#but legit this really puts a whole new light over his everything up til this point & its so sad to see. he was shouldering it so much that #the kids clearly had no idea & thought he had any chance of reasoning with her about anything meanwhile he doesnt even get a lunch break #even if this is a rushed reveal cuz of disney cutting so much stuff i do appreciate the time to show both separating parents when its #legit for the best & men being victims in a relationship. there was a lot going on here but hes a very powerful ally to have & the kids #deserve at least one parent that doesnt suck #no one @ me about hating him before cuz it doesnt matter my opinion changed but also he was still framed as ultimately uncaring back then #now its revealed just how wrong that was. it wasnt that he was distracted he just legit wasnt allowed to do anything but work #toh #tc posts

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