#not proofread bc THIS WAS MEANT 2 BE SHORT AND I SPEND 45 MINUTES THINKING ABT IT GODDAMN | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jiilys · 7 years

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Ok idk if this is dumb or w/e but i think a 10 things i hate about you au would be awesome if u wrote it! Anyways ur literally my fave writer ??? Like ur so bloody good

lets do a brainstorm

james is patrick obvsly and he is just The Worlds Biggest Shite meaning that hes v hot and always smoking in chem and also is rumoured to have drunk paint stripper on a dare and lived

it was actually wine in the paint stripper can but dont tell peter pettigrew bc he thinks james is immortal

lily is kat and once she shoved a tampon so far up a guys nose that you couldnt see the string

lets fuck w/ the plot a bit and say that bianca is petunia and cameron is vernon ONLY lily doesnt want to date anyone bc that means petunia can date vernon and thats #1 on lilys Not Today Or Ever list

(also included on the list are acknowleding slughorn when he speaks or letting mary mcdonald hook up with sirius black when hes meant to be at soccer practise)

everyone is scared of lily except:

james who couldnt give two shits abt anythin

sirius whos been on her soccer team since they were 7 and also she knows that if she ever punched him to hard he’d tell everyone abt that time she tripped over the ball when they were 8

petunia, whose to vapid 2 notice anything (we gotta fudge it to make it work sorry bianca bby i love u and joeseph gordon levitto or whoever the fuck)

anyway: vernon pays james 2 date lily so he can date petunia. cue hijinks

james smokes while waiting outside her locker and so she starting walking up wearing a gas mask and ignoring him

james readin up abt all the social causes shes into and dropping into conversation bits like ‘the fact that taiwan has to enter the olympics as chiense taipei is appauling’ and watching lily like. squit at him

‘stop trying to impress me.’ ‘whose trying?’

he stops going to his classes and just starts going to hers like james the fuck man

at the concert when shes getting water in that dress and james is just. looking. and lily is just. noticing that hes looking.

the bar scene and ‘she likes pretty guys’ and james, straightning up, slips his hair back slightly, clutches his pool que, ‘you dont think im pretty?’ and then punching vernon lol

also: james hearing that lily has black underwear and deadass getting a hard on right there in the bar

lets have snape be some kinda joey donner guy and when lily hits his car at the record store and he calls her a bitch she rams it again

THE PARTY SCENE and lilys ding the strip tease and snape is cheering and james pulls lily off the table and also maybe tips snapes drink down his front

‘your eyes have a little green in them’ and shes so drunk, and james is looking at her even when hes trying very hard not to. how odd

she keeps talking abt how she wants to start a band and how sirius could be the drummer and james could play base and she could play guitar because ‘im the only one- whos got the skills *vomits onto james’ shoes*

lily tries to kiss him in his car but shes drunk and james isnt a bad guy so he doesnt let her

the soccer scene where james gets remus to get the band together and then he sings the song all the while sirius is like bopping his head and lily cannot stop grinning

THE PAINTBALLING SCENE AND JAMES TIES HIS HAIR BACK AND TRIES TO KISS LILY AND SHE SMASHES A PAINT BALLON OVER HIS HEAD

‘potter did you really sleep with all of the spice girls’ ‘dont be ridiculous. only two out of the five’

the prom bit where everything goes to hell and lily finds out that vernons been paying james this whole time and shes so sad and hurt and pissed and she leaves only petunia does not go after her.

sirius does

goes to her house the next day and they talk abt sarah laurence and debating how good david beckham actually is

the poem scene and I hate the way you talk to me And the way you cut your hair I hate the way you drive my car I hate it when you stare I hate your big dumb combat boots And the way you read my mind I hate you so much that it makes me sick It even makes me rhyme I hate the way you're always right I hate it when you lie I hate it when you make me laugh Even worse when you make me cry I hate the way you're not around And the fact that you didn't call But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

and james wants to die like right there bc hes a fucking idiot and he’d probably kill all of the spice girls and eat a kidney just to have her talk to him again

he buys her a £2000 guitar with vernons money and tells her what a cock hes been and she makes the joke abt how he cant just buy her an instrament everytime he fucks up and james makes the quip abt how there are lots of instraments and she smiles and he just. feels good again. just like that.

this got super long whoops but u see what i mean

#deadass THIS WAS MEANT 2 BE QUICK IM #caroshorts #jily #im so glad u like my stuff!!! i luv u!!!!!!#like how do i even tag this wtf is it #not proofread bc THIS WAS MEANT 2 BE SHORT AND I SPEND 45 MINUTES THINKING ABT IT GODDAMN #Anonymous

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