the sunshine court shall reignite my tumblr. nordalanche returns

i’m dying (in desperate need of artturi lehkonen content)

guys i need good vibes rn like really really need them

i think i have to stop watching hockey for a while. i can’t deal with this. my coming out experience was so hard i eventually left colorado for college because of the bullying and hate. i can’t take this. it’s breaking me apart. i can’t trust anyone

I will not be in tumblr for a while. I am going through I severe depressive episode triggered by the avs, weight, and school and i just can’t

going through a bit of a thing right now where I might be temporarily kind of sort of technically homeless for a few days while I wait for an absolutely disastrous roommate situation to work itself out. (aka I had to leave a dorm due to an emergency because my roommate was harassing me in several very bad ways). so now I'm couch surfing and moving around until this works itself out so if I'm MIA that's why.

praying for ao3

early Say Yes to the Dress is WILD lmaoooooooo this is so fun

I got a big kid internship doing real work this summer with set weekly hours and I am SHOCKED about how much down time there is in office jobs.

Like y’all just sit there all day?? I’m so used to my extremely academically rigorous days with zero free time.

ay yo, you ever watch a hockey game so bad and upsetting that it gives you a panic attack and you spill water all over the painting you've been working on and then have to immediately go lay down before you hyperventilate and start having very bad thoughts?

or is that just me?

the worst part is: I know the players don't care about me and don't care that they lost because they can go home and be rich. This is just a thing they do but it's everything to me.

down bad about being a virgin rn. i just wanna have sex with someone. and i going to die this way?

if people’s don’t stop posting about the goddamn lord i am going scream. i don’t post every day “god doesn’t exist” just stopppp

got a big girl interview today!!! for a paid internship!! wish me luck 😅😅

i am fluffier now than i used to be (135 rather than 115) but i can walk for longer and lift more and get injured less and run faster. I get my period and don’t worry about my bones breaking and i no longer have dangerously low iron. I’ve grown 1.5 inches in height.

And, life is so much better when i can eat ice cream and pizza and cookies and pasta.

that seems more important than wearing a size 2 or visible abs

i think i found a new boy to go on a date with!! in like two weeks when spring break is done but he is nice and easy to talk to.

this is so unrelated to hockey but sometimes I look at a photo of an athletic guy and I see their legs and ass and I wish mine looked like that. But I (an very athletic female) can never tell if that’s my eating disorder or if I actually want to look like a guy. I don’t mind being feminine but I also like dressing very masculine sometimes.

I have very long hair and I definitely present like a female outwardly but like idk????? gender is so hard. i don’t dislike being a female. i like my boobs and long hair but i also love the way guys abs and legs look like and i love acting more guy-like sometimes (masculine, chivalrous, understanding, bro-y).

i have no idea what this means or what i’m thinking. i just. i needed to type this out.