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jtl-fics · 1 year

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Fluent Freshman - Part 13

“I can’t believe you would go out on Black Friday to grocery shop but I guess thanks for going out on Black Friday to grocery shop.” Aaron greets him with as FF moves over to the table.

Andrew and Captain Neil had apparently went out shopping.

Andrew and Captain Neil had apparently come back and have been in Andrew’s room for the past couple hours.

“Josten probably wanted to go to Excites for some gear. I don’t know what my brother sees in that Exy-obsessed jerk.” Aaron says as he eats his own smiley eggs and bacon. FF hears the sound of a hammer and a drill from Andrew’s room.

Heart in his throat he forces himself not to think about what Andrew and Captain Neil COULD be building.

(A guillotine, an iron maiden, that weird wedge thing that splits people in half at the groin, He should NOT have taken that Spanish history class. Oh god it’s probably a fence so he can’t escape whatever hunting ground Andrew is going to drag him to if he can’t buy his continued existence via baked good.)

“Shut up, they’re actually really sweet to one another.” Nicky chastises before turning to FF, “Because of that your final serving goes to Smithy. He deserves it more than you.” Nicky says and slides the final plate of eggs and bacon.

“He’s just as bothered by it as I am!” Aaron scowls.

“By what?” FF asks because there are a lot of things that bother him so Aaron is going to have to be more specific.

“By those two being all close. I’ve seen the way you turn and walk away.” Aaron reaches across the table for his bacon but FF just pushes the plate closer to him. The two plates he had already eaten were more than enough, especially after the full dinner that they’d had the night before. “You’re grossed out by it too right?” He asks as he goes to stab the bacon.

FF slides the plate away and Aaron stabs the table.

FF is NOT HOMOPHOBIC.

His gran raised him better than that.

“I don’t agree with you.” He says because he doesn’t but can’t bring himself to say anymore. He’s in Aaron’s house, he stole Aaron’s keys that morning to lock up the house.

(it was so rude but what if someone broke in because he left the house unlocked? What if someone got hurt just because he wanted to ensure his own survival? Isn’t it better that he just borrowed Aaron’s keys to make sure that no one in the house got hurt? Does FF still believe with every fiber of his being that Andrew Minyard is trying to murder him in this exact house? Yes. Can these concerns coexist peacefully? Also yes.)

If anything he finds Captain Neil and Andrew to be an incredibly nice couple. They talk about things together, they make plans about their future, their PDA was actually pretty minimal (especially in comparison to Aaron), and he had figured out the weird code Andrew talked in so he was pretty sure that Andrew and Neil loved one another.

The only issue he has with the couple is that they are out at a store probably buying supplies to torture and then kill FF.

Otherwise they were perfectly fine.

Aaron scowls, “You can’t be serious. You walk away faster than you run on the court when you see the two of them getting all gross.” He points with his fork and tries to grab the bacon again.

FF frowns deeper.

“I walk away even faster from you and your girlfriend.” He returns because Aaron and Katelyn are the couple who have been the MOST guilty of initiating something in front of him when he was in ‘Visible only when the sunlight strikes him at the exact right angle on the summer solstice’ mode.

He had tried to clear his throat to get them to quit quite a few times but…well…he has heard Katelyn mention that one of her and Aaron’s favorite ‘hang out’ spots might be haunted….so he hadn’t been overly successful.

“PDA makes me uncomfortable in general. Captain Neil and Andrew are a very nice couple who you shouldn’t talk bad about.” He defends as one of the only people who would know exactly how thoughtful the two were to one another.

He hopes his Gran is proud of him for saying something.

Aaron looks at him with a twisted mouth for a while before relenting, “Fine they’re not that bad. It’s just a big brother thing.” Aaron rolls his eyes.

FF swallows down some acid in his throat and pushes the smiling eggs and bacon over to Aaron who smiles back at the breakfast and proceeds to eat it.

A big brother thing.

FF gets up and heads over to the final bag that Andrew had left out on the counter. FF had bought some additional offerings for his mortal soul to tide Andrew over while he made the brownies. It’s also where the incense and his latest two five hour energies should still be.

He finds the incense, wonders if he hallucinated the five hour energies (very possible), and hands Nicky a box of sour patch kids to distract him when he comes over.

“Smithy, why the hell are you lighting incense?” Nicky asks because the sour patch kids were NEVER going to be enough to distract Nicky. That would take something on the level of Swedish Fish but he’d been more focused on avoiding the candy thrown by an irate woman towards a member of Target staff because the grocery department couldn’t get her the redemption coupon for one of the flat screens in the Electronic department so he had FAILED to procure them. He’d even seen a box sail through the air is bullet time because his brain was too hopped up on Five Hour Energy but he’d let it go believing he could just grab a box at check out. THEN HE ZONED OUT IN THE CHECK OUT LINE AS HE STARED AT BOTH THE FUTURE AND THE PAST AND FORGOT HE WAS IN THE PRESENT WHERE HE HADN’T GOTTEN THE DAMN SWEDISH FISH.

“I’m going to make my Great Grandma’s brownies.” He says in response, “I’m hoping to channel her so I don’t mess up.” He says.

“Oh! More grandma baking goodies?! I can be your assistant baker! What do you need?” Nicky says visibly vibrating with excitement at the prospect. “We can listen to Mariah and I can lick the spoon!”

There is a noise of revulsion from the kitchen table.

“Don’t let him lick the spoon Smiths! He gets WEIRD about it.”

“That sounds like what someone who wants to lick the spoon would say.”

“Oh shut up!”

“That’s not a NO!”

The cousins continue to argue about spoon licking rights as FF gets started checking to make sure that the kitchen has all the necessary equipment to even make his brownies. He’d been so tired (last night? This morning?) that he hadn’t thought about even checking that the cousins would have things like a glass bowl, an baking dish, pie tin, etc.

Thankfully FOR ONCE luck is on his side and FF does not have to walk back to the Target.

So he finishes pulling out everything he’ll need, getting the oven pre-heated, and pulling out the ingredients for the brownies from the fridge.

He lights some incense with the stove top burners sends a quick prayer up and wonders if maybe a ouija board would have been better but if the Home Goods section had been a dangerous spot then the toy section would have been like walking into an active war zone. There are no laws as far as parents are concerned when it comes to getting the ‘it’ toy for their kids. FF has watched the highs and lows of humanity in the Barbie aisle more than once.

So he melts chocolate, he sifts flour and sugar, he separates eggs, and he uses every muscle that Kevin’s insane work out regiment had given his arms to whip those egg whites into stiff peaks. He knows his great gran is with him when Nicky and Aaron continue to argue (they are now talking about the ethics of licking the spoon vs. licking the bowl? He doesn’t quite get how they got there but alright) so Nicky doesn’t hear him say “Stiff Peaks Acquired” to himself because he knows Nicky well enough to know that he would have NEVER heard the end of it.

He uses all of the delicacy his gran had ever tried to teach him to fold those egg whites into the chocolate and then to fold in the flour and sugar. There are more steps, more ingredients, but unless you are family then those are CLASSIFIED.

Great Gran had always been the suspicious sort.

The oven beeps to let him know it’s done pre-heating as he’s carefully transferring his great gran’s life’s work into the baking dish.

He was so focused that he hadn’t even realized that Andrew was back until he turned to do the dishes and found Andrew holding the bowl and running his fingers through the scant remaining mix and shoving it into his mouth.

He is surprise that the scream remains in his head. He’s even more surprised that he stays upright. Maybe the nap did him some good even if it let Andrew and Captain Neil build whatever torture device they were intending to use on him.

He really needs to drink some pepto. He doesn’t think that Andrew will pause their ‘The Most Dangerous Game’ recreation to let FF manage his ulcers. Andrew is staring straight at him.

Andrew offers him the spoon.

FF declines. Raw eggs, sugar, and chocolate? With THIS stomach? He’d almost prefer to be chased through whatever enclosure Andrew is going to drag him to.

“When did you wake up?” Andrew asks.

“Hour ago.” He answers.

“Hm.”

“I’ll make the pie tomorrow.” he ventures trying to extend his life by another day.

Andrew shoves the spoon into his own mouth after that and walks out into the dining room. FF hears both Aaron and Nicky’s cries of anguish.

FF looks at the brownies in the oven at the incense burning on the counter and wonders if that was Andrew’s way of confirming his stay of execution.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lilyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

#Fluent Freshman AU #Did Andrew and Neil hear FF defend them?#MAYBE #Did great gran come down from on high to guide FF's baking hands?#oh Absolutely there is no doubt #This is her great grandson! He BESEECHED her #Andrew does not know about the fifteen other bottles of five hour energy that FF has in his backpack #FF pressing his face against his Pepto bottle: Oh we're really in it now aren't we Pepto #Andrew and Neil building a dresser so that Neil can store his clothes: I wonder if Smith is up #It is only the cruelest of worlds that I make FF endure Nicky having heard him talk about stiff peaks #Can anyone tell that I know VERY little about baking and am hiding behind the shield of FAMILY SECRET to skate by this?#Well if you couldn't I guess I outed myself as a silly little fool in the tags #AFTG #AFTG OC #AFTG AU #AFTG Fic #My Fics #Andreil #FF - Pt. 13

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ganondoodle · 1 year

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pokémon evolution

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondorf #totk spoiler #totk spoilers #totkspoiler #totkspoilers #i should have taken more pictures so i can stuff the entire scene full of ganondorf #... that sounds more wrong than i wanted #i wonder if dumsda basically scans the model from the pic to make these #im sad you cant put the dragon there tho #also i did worse on my second fight with him than on my first #made a fool of myself bc i felt so confident #:C

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softness-and-shattering · 5 months

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So I put on this netflix show, in their tradition of being extremely obvious with names its called Mech Cadets, and its an alien-mecha human-pilot fight-the-giant-bug-aliens story. My first complaint is that the alien mechas are called Robo's. Wow exciting /sarcasm. Anyway thats totally forgiven because 1 the story actually makes choices and puts the characters through consequences instead of like hinting at oh it something bad gonna happen psych we dont have the guts for that. Its a kid/teen show so its not super dark but it follows through and goes the places it needs to.

2, and maybe most importantly, I gotta talk about the disability rep. There's four teens chosen by the alien mechs to be their drift-compatible pilots (I think im using that correctly? Im not super informed on the genre but I know some), and we see straight away that one of the guys has a prosthetic leg from the thigh down, and uses it as an example to tell the main protagonist, hey none of us are perfect we dont have to be perfect we just need to be human. The next episode the mechas are given human-designed weapons to fight with, and the disabled kid gets these flippy sticks I cant quite work out. One of them gets a staff, the other gets this glove for punching, story moves on. Then a bug-alien-antagonist gets into the teens dorm and while fighting it, the alien dismembers the guys prosthetic. He immediately grabs his crutches and goes to town on it with his crutches, and balancing on them to kick with his one good foot*. Then they disconnect the rest of the prosthetic and use its sharp edge to kill the alien. And then he just moves around on his crutches with no comment and Ill cut myself off there so I dont spoil the whole thing.

Except, a couple episodes later, Im watching him in the mech fighting and moving around, and I realise that his giant fuck-off monster attacking weapons ARE A PAIR OF CRUTCHES. Theyre his fucking WEAPONS. Thats cool as fuck!

#is it mech and not mecha and im making a fool of myself? I just cant quite bear to call them Robos im sorry #Mech Cadets #Theres more nice stuff about the disability rep but I want to leave some surprises for y'all when you watch it #The animation is ok theres one character who's face sometimes looks a bit plastic and moves a bit janky imho but otherwise its alright #I also definitely want more about the robos as people because theyre intelligent but theyre also a bit treated like machines #and not sentient beings #but they clearly are sentient #theres definitely themes happening about how alive they are but its not properly dug into yet. if they get a second season I definitely wan #more on them #like why did they just show up to earth to partner with people and fight the bug aliens? where are they from? whats their motivation?#but in a I want more world building way not in a wow this is shit world building way #anyway #mine #disability rep #disability representation #its got some really fun vibes #*his one foot. he doesnt have a good foot and a bad foot he just has a foot. getting him mixed in my head with Kaz Brekker and his cane

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coquelicoq · 8 months

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girl help the beautiful man at the food truck flirted with me and shook my hand with his big gorgeous hand and held on a little longer than he needed to (but in a good way) and then he gave me a free mango lassi and THEN left his food truck unattended to go get me a bottle of water after i asked if there was any water available and after all that all he wants in exchange (other than payment for the food i ordered) is for me to rate him on google maps. but girl i don't even know how to do that

#how hard can that be you may ask. well for your information he told me my smile is beautiful and he was very sweet AND #he has a gorgeous beard and voice. so. kind of distracted at the moment.#this is nice. lately the attention i've been getting from strange men is like. a guy on the bus offering me his half-eaten ice cream tube #(didn't even know ice cream came in tubes) and a guy propositioning me for $5 while i was waiting to cross the street #so for a man to give me free things & hold my hand & ask how i am doing WHILE being handsome at me was a little much all at once #i was so overwhelmed i made such a fool of myself. i almost gave him MY ADDRESS????#get yourself together @me #anyway i guess i have to figure out how to rate places on google maps now. i didn't even know that was a thing people did #my posts #even though i know how flirting with customers works when you work in food service it does not make it any less overwhelming #to be on the receiving end of. i used to flirt with customers all the time. but i am not drop dead gorgeous so.#watch where you point that smile sir i am going to expire

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civilization-illstayrighthere · 1 month

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seeing all of these new ghoul fuckers come in and get into fo4 and stuff is bringing a tear to meemaws eye. even if the new ghouls look like mole rats and not technicolor corpses. passing the torch along. all these new kudos on fic that’re five, almost ten years old in some cases. :’) i’ve always loved fallout but never considered it would get crazy big compared or have the same staying power compared to a lot of other fandoms. welcome y’all.

#i think one of the aspects of why i still havent watched the new show #other than being insanely busy #is uh. well hand in hand w the busy i am giving birth in less than a month #(if he goes full term 40 weeks 38 is still full which is like. 14 days less. knock on wood)#and i dont want to accidentally make myself sad if i really enjoy he series and then can’t write for it 😭 bc im not fooling myself #im obviously going to be really fucking busy with raising a human being lmao #which is what i wanted ofc. still terrible timing on Todd Howard’s part not to have considered the birth of my child in all this #also can you imagine the post partum hormone dump baby blues #sobbing like. why did i have this baby. i cant write fanfiction. NJFSKDFNS

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drinkingdeadpeopletea · 2 months

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becoming a magdalyne and nicholas fleit stan immediately. jesus CHRIST man.

#midst #midst podcast #midst spoilers #midst podcast spoilers #i've been saying i want to know more about other breach operatives but at what COST...........#quickest turnaround time i've ever experienced of being introduced to a character deciding i love them and having them be dead #(don't let me fool you here i'm completely delighted about this entire thing.)#what a way to give Shape to the undercurrent of fear in the entire breach operation. harry and saskia probably KNEW them.#jesus christ the timeline even lines up that SHERMAN may have.....#parody of myself moment learning this and going 'ah. so THIS is what hieronymous is risking if he gets caught.'#i'm going to make up SO many things in my head about maggie and nick fleit.#i hope one of them (presumably nick) did get away i think that would be kind of awesome.....

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ash-eats-film · 3 months

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So I was just randomly scrolling through insta stories when I saw someone had added a post to their story of a horror com Jeffrey Combs was gonna be at so I looked into it cause it’s within a distance I’d be willing to drive, AND OH MY GOD LIKE ALMOST EVERYONE IVE EVER WANTED TO MEET IS GONNA BE THERE ALL OF THE REANIMATOR TRIO INCLUDED

#BRUCE ABBOTT NEVER DOES CONS HOW DID I GET THIS LUCKY #BRUCE ABOTT #jeffrey combs #barbara crampton #reanimator will forever have a lil cabin in the front of my brain where dan amd herbie live reanimating my awful dead memories #brian yuzna #I’m gonna make a total fool of myself in front of my idols and I’m struggling to come to terms with that #I will probably not be able to speak #i might cry

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atopvisenyashill · 5 months

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i have a hot take with zero proof and it’s that people who think bloodraven is a hero are not disabled bc if they were they’d understand that the way he lies to & lures bran north with the promise of a miracle cure just to pull the rug out from under him is an evil, cruel thing to do to a disabled child and nothing justifies it, no not even saving the world

#bran stark #me as bran’s lawyer: as you can see the defendant is clearly in breech of contract and also a dick #getting on my soap box #also i’m not saying it’s ableist to like br. i’m saying that u miss how evil that is bc u don’t know what being disabled is like!#if someone did that to me when my body started failing i would have killed myself and i’m so serious #bran is so strong for not just giving up and making hodor throw him off a cliff.#bc that’s what i would have done. given the chance to have my life back only to be fooled? nah u musty bitch #i’m about to change the trajectories of both our lives forever by killing myself in front of you actually.#disability in asoiaf

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icecreamsoup · 8 months

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We need to talk about the fact our Simon is the only Simon that ends up alive

#i mean technically baby ice king is alive #but he's an ice king so i'm not counting him #i'm also really hoping i'#i'm not forgetting a Simon that did live and i'm making a fool of myself #fionna and cake #adventure time #soup talks #simon petrikov

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houlebubo · 1 year

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Brennan Lee Mulligan I know your tricks, I Know for sure that Steel is going to betray Suvi and that she was the reason her parents died. Look at me, I was fooled during Calamity when Asmodeus didn't have a character voice, I trusted that fucker, and I will not be fooled again, I know he uses his own voice for the most malicious and manipulating villains, I am smelling it on every word from Steel

#the wizard the witch and the wild one #worlds beyond number #listen I do not trust steel at all #Jurgen is a fucking red herring I am calling it #am I making a fool of myself most likely #but Steel's vibe is off in every single scene I do not trust her #who the fuck else knew where her parents sent her away to. steel did. steel sent those guys to finish the job #and when it didnt work she went herself #she knew she was placing Suvi in danger when sending her back to Grandma's place #she wanted to finish the job she started ten years ago I just know it #wwwo #i am ready to be the fool but also the vindication is going to be so real two years from now

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buysomecheese · 3 months

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It’s funny to me that my t-shot day, today, is Leap Day. Like that’s kinda funny I think. I also like that Leap Year is the year I graduate high school + start college. Wouldn’t it be fun to see if I could get my top surgery on Feb. 29, 2028 I think that would be So cool actually

#in other words I started testosterone today #obviously first day I’m not seeing any changes yet y’know #but I’m So excited #I also took my car through the car wash and made significantly less a fool of myself than I did last time #I don’t think I want to make a huge deal about being on testosterone because idk I just want to be A Guy about it #like be stealth about it ig #I’m so excited I feel. calm in my body. and prepared for changes.#and I don’t want to like emphasize that I Wasn’t on T and I’m On T Now ig #idk I’m like conceptualizing this strangely I’m so excited #we’ll reconsider tomorrow lmao

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calamitaswrath · 2 months

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While I'm still riding the Xenoblade X hyperfixation, let me just use it to talk gender identity some more.

Between deciding on my current Cross design back during last December and where I am now (i.e. feeling that I'm probably a Woman But A Bit To The Side), I initially did have the plan of just switch between the male design and the female one. But even though I kept those two looking as close to each other as possible, there was always something that I didn't quite like about the male one on a very basic level, and something that I just couldn't put my finger on, let alone fix. Somewhere down the line, I decided to also make myself smaller builds for both, as an alternative to switch to. So, "Young Boy" instead of "Boy", and "Girl" instead of "Woman". For the female Cross, that worked out well enough, and I still have the design I came up with for that saved in-game, even if I have taken no screenshots. But with the male Cross? For the life of me, I could not put together a design that I even remotely liked. Absolutely nothing felt right, even though on principle, I guess I preferred the younger looking face over my actual "main" male Cross (which even then, I almost never used). In the end, I just gave up that whole design process entirely. I guess that only really serves to show that I'm really not off in my current self-perception. . .

#shut up cal you fool #shut up lucia you fool #you know though thinking about it #I'm also starting to feel like I start to get why it's X in particular that made me come to these realizations #cause sure I played other games with custom characters before #like Pokémon FE or Splatoon #but in Pokémon games with customization you play kids who aren't really gendered as much #heck in sv you can outright make them gnc #so nothing that really makes me think about self image that much #because by the time that xy came out I was already an adult #and I never really felt that personally represented by the player in Pokémon #so I just played the male characters #and in FE as nice as it is to customize robin and corrin #at the end of the day that system is still REALLY rigid #and doesn't allow for much self-expression #and when I did make my sprite edits for a custom robin. well #I wonder why I felt the need to make a genderswap one #and with splatoon I guess I started to saunter vaguely womanwards as soon as octolings entered the picture #in 1 I was still fine with playing the male inkling and I just continued that for 2 #but in X meanwhile you can actually design your avatar more freely #and can be an actual. y'know. adult #which in turn I guess just really played into the difficulty I always had picturing myself as an adult man #so. yeah.

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