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madsdefencesquad · 4 years

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Okay I got boooored so here’s a Kevison magazine fic I wrote for Kevison nation coz I love yous and we deserve to see Kevin talk about his fam magazine-stylez coz you know he’ll be gushing all the time about them, like you just KNOW IT.

Kevin Pearson on life, fatherhood and what’s next for him by x March 2028, Spring edition

It’s been twelve years since the impassioned The Manny star Kevin Pearson announced to the world that he will be quitting the role that had started it all for him. Pearson’s public meltdown was excruciating, to say the least, but it was this very act of defiance that led the actor towards the path of the actor-crusader that he is now known for—a revolutionary who defied the odds and ultimately defined him as one of the greatest actors of his generation.

After a slew of tabloid-worthy dalliances with famous co-stars including the soap operatic love triangle with Tony award-winner Olivia Maine and his Back of an Egg co-producer and playwright Sloane Sandburg, to the court-ordered rehab stint after a DUI arrest, Kevin Pearson has done nothing but illicit the kind of stories that tabloids are desperate to display and monetise from in full view. All of these seemed the perfect pivot points for the actor, basking in the affordances of all this fame and fortune albeit in a trajectory of a complete career-destruction, but the actor was by no means deterred in proving that he can and should be taken seriously in his acting craft.

Pearson came through with striking, emboldened performances: a soldier with an inability to confront his demons in the Ron Howard-helmed World War II flick opposite Sylvester Stallone, and an embittered cop in the M Night Shyamalan action flick Stairs to Nowhere. But it wasn’t until his role as a disingenuous trial lawyer in the 2020 Jordan Martin Foster film Glass Eye that earned him his first ever Academy Award nomination and eventual win that proved to the world that when he puts his mind to it, Kevin Pearson can truly achieve the kind of acting greatness worth the lauded applause.

Pearson, who was born and raised in Pittsburgh before moving to New York and eventually Los Angeles, has spent a good amount of his life in the public eye. Though his sunny, easy-going persona and physicality have been compared to the likes of Chris Hemsworth and (supposed rival) Chris Evans, the Pittsburgh-bred Pearson doesn’t feel the need now to prove that he is anything but a conscientious actor and a dedicated family man.

It’s a warm, spring afternoon when I ring the buzzer of a sprawling floor-to-ceiling glass residence tucked away in a town in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. The little lady of the house, barefoot in a floral-print dress, greets me with an encouraged wave from her father, who is cradling her against him upon opening the front door. “She’s not normally this shy,” Kevin says with an affectionate grin as he leads the way to the sitting room, his little girl curiously taking peeks at me with what I garner is her mother’s soft blue eyes given Kevin’s famous warm browns.

The newly built residence is a remarkably private house perched on a dramatic hillside overlooking a panoramic view of the verdant surrounds, which Kevin says, “keeps the family very safe from prying eyes.” This feature, of course, was at the forefront of his mind prior to laying its foundations there.

“There’s one main reason as to why I chose to build here specifically,” he says. “But I’m not gonna bore you with the details. Let’s just say, I’m honoring a memory. Makes me sound real poetic, doesn’t it?”

Throughout Kevin’s career, he’s been known to talk quite candidly about his love and appreciation for his mother, Rebecca Pearson, with his Oscars acceptance speech having heavily featured his immense gratitude to her as would a loving son. But, as we move along the elegantly furnished corridors with him pointing and elaborating at the various artworks decorating the walls and the spaces, it is obvious that Kevin has an unrivalled affection for his wife that is quite notably special.

We make our way to a sitting area outside where we are entreated to the sounds and sights of a naturally filtered swimming billabong with cascading falls—a modern feature incorporated with the Japanese Zen garden landscaping that is just breathtaking to behold in person. “I wanted to make it feel as authentic as the ones you find in Japan,” he says, sitting on one of the cushioned recliners. He pours me a glass of red wine while he settles for chilled tonic, his little girl now helping herself to some olives and crackers.

There is an air of rare contentment around Kevin as he laughingly recalls his twins’ daily shenanigans. “Nothing really compares to coming home to them,” he says. “And I’m not trying to sound ungrateful or anything, but I’ve been [working my whole life] and I’ve only had my wife and kids just short of a decade, and that’s nothing! So, I do what I can to be home in as most days of the year as I can.”

When asked whether he’s perhaps heading into the territory of acting retirement in favour of other pursuits like directing or producing, Kevin thinks it can go either way.

“The other night in bed my wife suggested I do voice acting,” he says, to which his little girl unintentionally responds to in glee as she, her feet now strapped in light-up sandals, runs the width of the garden (within sight of her dad, of course) with her Jessie and Bullseye dolls held high. “She knows me too well,” he says fondly of Madison, his wife of eight years now. “I’d love to have my kids watch a movie that dad’s in without having to wait till they’re teenagers. And I hate thinking of my babies as teenagers! God, it’s just the worst age!”

Kevin recalls his teenage years with the kind of accepted embarrassment fit for a 48-year-old, but he laughs saying, “But I see a little more of their mom in them than me so that gives me hope. I’d hate to think I passed on angsty teen Kevin to either one of them. Just serious kudos to my parents for putting up with me all those years. I must’ve been a nightmare.”

From endorsing the des Resistance popular eau de parfum for men to his Armani-clad behind splashed on every billboard in the country (much to his chagrin and to his wife’s entertainment), Kevin Pearson has always been quite the go-getter, and though his “yes man” days in the industry are over, he’s always open to other ways in which he can challenge himself in his craft without compromising the time spent with his family.

“They’re my first priority, no questions asked,” he says. For a kid, who grew up in a middle-class family with parents whom had high hopes for their future, Kevin says that now, as a father himself, his perspective has shifted as to what’s really important and what’s not.

“I think a lot of the time there’s an expectation for your kids to meet the standard their parents have set or even go beyond it,” he says. “But that’s just toxic, you know? And it puts a lot of pressure on them to be someone that they’re not and not meant to be.”

Kevin is candid about his insecurities as an actor and as a father and as a husband, but there is a masterful acceptance there that he gives full credit to his wife. “We’re not perfect people, perfect parents,” he says. “And we’ll never be. That’s just a fact of life. But getting to do this with your person, the love of your life makes the biggest difference. I used to think that my parents had the greatest love story ever, and I used to really idolise it, you know, but honestly I think Madison and I can probably rival that.” And he thinks that if he’ll ever write, direct or produce a script, it’ll be about him and his wife’s sweeping and unconventional love story that will be the “tear-jerker of the century. Like, A Walk to Remember or The Notebook level but like better!”

I ask him what Madison would think of his plans to unleash their love story to the world, and as if on cue, he fishes his phone from his pocket and utters a “just a sec” before leaving to grab his daughter and take the call.

Following his game-changing Academy Award win in 2021, Kevin had let himself free fall in the industry as a kind of versatile actor in roles where he sweeps you away with gut-punching monologue deliveries coupled with an intensity that comes in through the eyes. He hasn’t delved into comedy since his Manny days though, but there is a certain cajoling ease in his demeanour that could easily challenge his funny bone.

“It’s Madison,” he returns not long after and settles himself down again, his daughter handing me a pizza-shaped play-dough I pretend to munch on. “She’ll be home soon. You should meet her. You’d love her! Everyone does not that it’s surprising.”

And who could deny that offer?

Kevin shows me a photograph of the twins on his phone at their cousin’s birthday whom they celebrated with in California last week and qualms that they’re growing up way too fast—yet another reiteration that he is as doting of a father as he is a consummate actor. He thinks that though Hollywood is a lot less ageist in terms of film and TV roles, there is still that pressure not to succumb to filling a role just because you’re the right age for it.

“Ever since my kids were born, I’ve been approached to do a lot of dad roles. Like my agent would send me about five scripts a week where my character is supposed to be this stereotypical dad. I’ve rarely taken any of them because I feel like it’s like they’re just trying to fit me in to a role just because I can say, ‘Oh hey, yeah I’m a dad now, I know what that means or what that looks like’, and not that that isn’t a good thing per se, but there’s a difference between the director wanting me to put my own spin to it as Kevin Pearson the actor versus them just wanting Kevin Pearson the dad. The way I approach parenting my kids, the way my wife and I do it, would be different to the way my character in this film would parent his kids. Sure, there may be certain overlaps, but it’s not going to be full Kevin Pearson the dad, you know? So, it’s hard with that kind of expectation.”

As the sun dips a little lower and it gets a little cooler, Kevin takes us back to the house just in time to finally meet Madison and their little boy, who looks strikingly like his father though, upon closer inspection, actually looks a little more like his mother. But there is one undeniable feature of the twins that definitely comes from both parents: the adorable identical dimples adorning their little chins.

Madison Pearson is as beautiful in person as she looks in photographs standing beside her husband in premieres and events. With her light-blue eyes and warm, soothing voice that sounds both delicate and excited at the same time, Madison is nothing but the embodiment of all things lovely.

“She grounds me,” he says adoringly, watching Madison and their kids flit about in the kitchen arranging dinner. “There isn’t much I can say that’s good about me if it hadn’t been for her. I can be ambitious and sometimes there’s always that pull towards something bigger but not necessarily better and she tells me honestly. She calls me out. And everyone needs that, you know? A frank person who won’t sugar coat anything, but they do it because they love you.”

It’s easy to imagine Kevin in gritty noir films playing bad cop, good cop or even as an intimidating trial lawyer, but Kevin as a family man is the role that is perfectly suited for him, almost like it’s created especially for him. As a father, he thrives on the affections of his kids, and as an actor, he finds pleasure in what’s he’s good at. And as a husband, his smile is the widest. “Not gonna lie, her not even being slightly jealous of that one time I did a love scene still gets to me,” he jokes. But it’s obvious that it bothers him not one bit. He enjoys being Madison Pearson’s more than anything.

“It’s crazy to think that people are inspired by what I do and who I am when for most of my life, it was 100% the other way around. It’s a huge responsibility, really, but I take it as it goes. I have my kids on the back of my mind now every time I make any decision, and I have a wife to love and support too, so it’s easier to not feel trapped by people’s opinions and expectations of you when you’re too focused on them and being the best person you can be for you and for them. So, it’s about growing every day, and enjoying all that life has to offer, and making every moment count.” x

Particular shoutout to my GC gals coz like ILY 5EVS @wallofweird @betweensunflowersanddaffodils @thisiskevison @thesocietalmisfit @tryalittlejoytomorrow @lullabiesandgoodbyes @flythesail @ourfinehouse @elephantsneedwater @holding-up-the-universe @smoakingpinklipstick @purpleinthesky

#kevison #kadison #seriously let's get rid of this tag @ sterling better not be annoying af next ep aye!!#hope you enjoyed kevin gushing about his family lol #i'll probs make another one but less formal and more kevison-centric #but I just love love loveeeee imagining dad! and husband!kevin sah much #so don't mind meee #anywhooo #kevin and madison #kevin pearson #this is us madison #kevison fanfic #kevison fic #i have not written in 5eva but boyyyyyy this was sah much fun #Kevin Pearson #TIU #tiu spoilers

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ratingtheframe · 3 years

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Everything That Happened at the 2021 Golden Globes

The first two months of the year are finally over and as the days grow longer, we can start to see the early signs of spring. With spring comes summer and with summer comes an influx of movie releases, with the majority of films that were put on hold last year scheduled to be released in the following months in cinemas across the world. You know, cinemas, as in those big rooms where you pay to sit and watch movies from start to finish without pausing it? Gosh have I missed the pre movie adverts, comfy chairs and super wide screens. It's not the same at home and despite Netflix, HBO and Amazon Prime thriving, we shouldn’t set anything in stone when it comes to the quality and accessibility of film.

Cinema is tradition whereas On Demand is convenience and usually choosing convenience over tradition does impact the quality of work being distributed. There are a bunch of films on streaming platforms that would be too inappropriate for cinemas, seeing as they lack a cinematic or dramatic feel to them to be good enough for a big screen. This allows mediocre to downright awful films to find an audience via streaming platforms. All well and good, seeing as these platforms are great exposure for upcoming filmmakers but at the same time it's a capitalistic system that puts views above the quality of content. It doesn’t matter if what you’re watching on Netflix is bad, they just want you to keep coming back for more. This can be said for mainstream cinema too, but to a lesser degree seeing as cinemas typically release around 68 movies per month, whereas Netflix has the ability to add up to 200 releases on their platform per month. It makes perfect sense that Netflix has the viewers that it does, as we can see that it releases almost twice the content of cinemas per month. For the avid cinephiles, this leaves us wanting a lot more as we’re only able to enjoy maybe one or two films a month from online streaming services, because the quality is so inconsistent. I hope that cinemas open soon so that I can relax knowing that the film I’ve paid money for will be of a good quality.

Speaking of good quality films, Chloé Zhao, director of Nomadland (2021) became the second woman in the 78 year history of the Golden Globes to win an award for directing. This is an exceptional triumph and from the moment I saw Nomadland, I knew that it would have an incredible impact on awards circuits this year. Nomadland also won Best Picture, which proves something that up and coming filmmakers may need to start getting their heads around. People may not necessarily be gravitating towards cinema for a chance of escapism any more. I thoroughly believe those days are behind us, buried in the 70s and 80s with films that defied the laws of filmmaking and went to extreme lengths to serve us an entire universe that we couldn’t even comprehend. However, as the world grows more fragile and people start to realise the fragility of life, we want to connect with one another authentically and realistically.

The way that film can do this is by showing our real selves on screen, showing our pain, redemption, emotions, fear, honesty, laughter, race, gender, humanity, darkest secrets and biggest dreams using the backdrop of cinema to sell us a story. People want films that are honest and are a reflection of humanity as well as the current society we’re living in. Not necessarily “a slice of life”, but a slice of humanity that we never see because it’s never impacted us directly, yet we still want to be made to feel like it has through film. That’s the key to success in any film, making the viewer feel like they’ve experienced something on screen even when they haven’t. If the film is too far away from our own psyche or humanity, we switch off, as we can no longer relate or even want to relate to something so obtuse and boring. Nomadland was the complete opposite to this theory, bringing us humanity in all its glory; its sadness and pure emotion that affects millions everyday, especially in such a time when loneliness is rife.

This is why Mank (2020) lost out. In a time where the world is in a sensitive disposition, Mank came as ineffective to the world of film. Though triumphant in it’s making, the film proves the fundamental foundation of film that Mank failed to do; have a good story. Mank just wasn’t the story people wanted or needed to see and one can appreciate a filmmaker’s efforts to make films but at the end of the day, the story is truly the only thing that’ll carry a film and if it's uninteresting and impersonal, people switch off. And they clearly did, seeing as Mank lost out to all SIX of its nominations. Less is more, I suppose, seeing as Nomadland won two out of four awards, including the top prize of Best Picture. David Fincher even took a shot every time he lost a category. Better luck next time.Other snubs included Emerald Fennell’s Promising Young Woman (2021) starring Carey Mulligan ,which was released on VOD last month. The film was nominated for four prizes and I suppose the lack of release in cinemas worldwide or at a Film Festival meant the lack of hype for the film. Regina King’s One Night In Miami...failed to pick up a prize, having been nominated for three awards. King shouldn’t be too disheartened, seeing as her debut definitely got her the recognition she deserved.

Aaron Sorkin most notably won Best Screenplay for his amazing picture, The Trial of the Chicago 7. I had the fortune of catching this in cinemas and the musicality of this screenplay was unreal. An incredibly authentic, riveting and honest piece of work, I believe we can safely say that Aaron Sorkin is the greatest writer for cinema and TV in our day and age. Sorkin is used to being showered with accolades, from Primetime Emmys with The West Wing, to an Oscar with David Fincher’s The Social Network.

The late Chadwick Boseman was honoured in full glory, having won the award for Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture for his role as Levee in Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom. An exceptional performance that reeks with Oscar success, Boseman is the first actor to be awarded the prize posthumously.

What’s also to be noted is the amount of British nominees and winners at this year’s ceremony. It seems like the American Film & TV market is wide open for Brits, seeing as Emma Corrin, Josh O'Connor, Daniel Kaluuya, Sacha Baron Cohen, Rosamund Pike, John Boyega and Anya Taylor Joy all won awards for acting. Helen Bonham Carter, Olivia Coleman, Vanessa Kirby, Riz Ahmed, Gary Oldman, Antony Hopkins, Dev Patel, James Corden, Hugh Grant, Jodie Comer, Lilly Collins and Nicolas Hoult all received nominations and were all born in the UK. The Crown in particular just seems to be getting more successful with each year and despite its controversy, the show has won Netflix 7 Golden Globes and 10 Emmys. What does this tell us about our actors and their ability in comparison to our friends overseas? Is it just a stroke of luck that the majority of actors who won this year are British or are we doing something different? Only time will tell as more British actors begin to be recognised for their flare over in the US.

If anything, we’ve learnt that The Golden Globes is for everyone. Anyone can win an award despite their background as long as those who control the awards ceremony are willing to give a variety of films a chance, not just ones directed by David Fincher. Nomadland is certainly an underdog for cinema, one that may not have done as well had other films been released last year. COVID-19 created space for this film to be seen and has truly been taken in as a work of art, proving that films of the same kind deserve to be seen in the up and coming future. British actors can and have made it big in Hollywood and it seems like American audiences welcome them with open arms. Sacha Baron’s Cohen’s humour in Borat Subsequent MovieFilm wasn’t unrequited, seeing as it won Best Musical / Comedy at this year’s award season, meaning every moment of that film (incriminating or not) WAS WORTH IT. Even though Regina King and Emerald Fennell lost out on their respective films, their work has been courageous and profound in helping to give space to women in the film industry. The fact that they were even nominated along with Chloé Zhao, was an achievement in itself and has women like me looking up to the success of these three women and realising that I could have the same shot. Mank came at the wrong time, and though good visually, it lacked a beating heart that the Golden Globes could identify with enough to give it at least one award. Soul was named Best Animation Feature Film of the year, also winning an award for music with a beautiful score by Atticus Ross, Trent Reznor and Jon Batiste. The Queen’s Gambit also reigned supreme, as Anya Taylor Joy won Best Actress for a performance in a mini series / tv film and the overall series won Best Television Mini Series / Television Film.

This has to be the best Golden Globes I’ve ever witnessed. Not only did it champion diversity in the film categories, British Actors and female directors, it actually gave consumers as well as judges, something that actually wanted, which was to see underdogs thrive in an environment that’s usually laid bare for the same characters. Let’s keep this up for the next ceremony !

ig @ratingtheframe

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newmusickarl · 3 years

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Mercury Prize 2021 – Ranking The Contenders

It is that time of year again – the season of the Mercury Music Prize. In the last few weeks, the albums nominated for the 2021 Mercury Music Prize have been revealed and, as ever, it is a highly diverse and eclectic list of some of the best British and Irish music released over the last 12 months – some familiar, some not so familiar. Each of these nominated records is now vying for the prestigious title of Album of the Year, the overriding criteria for which has greatly deviated throughout the award’s history.

Traditionally the eventual prize winner would tend to be a lesser-known record rather than what was necessarily the best album out of the 12, with the judges choosing to highlight the artist and record that may have been overlooked and needed the most attention. However, this has changed in recent years, with the judges choosing what has been widely regarded amongst music critics as the best album in most cases.

So, with the likes of James Blake, Michael Kiwanuka, Dave, Sampha, Alt-J and The XX being just some of the acclaimed artists that have taken the top prize home over the last decade, the big question is - who is in with the best shout this year of being named the overall winner?

In recent years a strong favourite has often emerged from the pack, but I must say I find the 2021 prize to be the most open and hardest to predict in years. There is no clear favourite this time around for me, which makes for an exciting and intriguing build to the September awards show.

Despite the unpredictability, as I do each year I’ve listened to all 12 albums and tried to rank them based on what I think are their chances of winning. To be clear, this is not a “Worst-to-Best” countdown – this ranking is based solely on how likely I think they are to win the overall prize.

To determine this, I’ve considered the front-to-back listening experience and the artistic achievement attained by the album, the popularity of the artist, how critically acclaimed the album is and how similar albums have fared in recent years too. So without further ado, here’s my final thoughts and analysis on this year’s nominees.

12. Promises by Floating Points, Pharoah Sanders & The London Symphony Orchestra

This collaborative release from electronic artist Floating Points, American jazz saxophonist Pharoah Sanders and the London Symphony Orchestra was one of the albums I hadn’t heard prior to the nominees being announced, so was pleasantly surprised by what turned out to be quite an interesting listen. Built mainly around a twinkly harpsichord and Sanders’ saxophone, the music builds to a swell at various stages before gently disappearing in the same subtle way in which it arrived.

That said, I would be very surprised if this album took home the overall prize and title of “Album of the Year” for several reasons. Firstly, this feels primarily like a Pharoah Sanders project, who is of course American and not British. Secondly, although split into nine movements this is ultimately one single piece of music and the Mercury Prize has always been about celebrating artistic achievement in the traditional album format. Based on this, I’m surprised it has even been nominated and I think this cancels this one out for me.

Of course, there is always a chance this could prevail on the night, but I think it would be too controversial and therefore highly unlikely to get the overall nod.

11. SOURCE by Nubya Garcia

This debut album from London-born jazz musician Nubya Garcia was another record I hadn’t heard before her Mercury Prize nomination, which sees Nubya take the listener on a journey throughout musical history. As she describes the record herself, this is “a collection of thoughts and feelings about identity, family history, connections, collectivism and grief.”

Now jazz records have always found a spot on the Mercury Prize shortlist with at least one record from the genre getting a nomination each year. However, the reality is that none have ever actually won the overall prize - even in recent years with promising efforts from the likes of Moses Boyd, Sons of Kemet and The Comet Is Coming in contention. So as impressive as Nubya’s debut is in parts, I don’t think it is the album to buck the trend.

10. Pink Noise by Laura Mvula

Singer-songwriter Laura Mvula is certainly a favourite with the Mercury Prize judges, with her third album Pink Noise representing the third nomination of her career, making her an impressive 3-for-3 so far. That said, Pink Noise is a very different record to her first two outings, with Mvula lacing these tracks with synths to give them a wonderful 80s aesthetic and neon glow. When combined with her traditional soul style, it does make for an enjoyable and fun front-to-back listen.

However, my biggest reservation with the record is that it’s not particularly ground-breaking – this is a sound that a lot of other artists have employed recently and had similar or greater success to what Mvula achieves here. With this being the case, I’m also putting this one down as unlikely.

9. Not Your Muse by Celeste

Brighton-born singer-songwriter Celeste has already proved herself a hit with critics, having been named as the BBC’s Sound of 2020 prying to releasing this debut album. Across the 12 tracks on Not Your Muse, Celeste’s powerful, beautifully toned voice takes centre stage, simply soaring amongst the glossy musical arrangements.

From the instantly recognisable groove of Stop This Flame that has been everywhere in the last 12 months, to the string-drenched majesty of A Kiss, Celeste shows off her full range with plenty of style and flair. This is an impressive debut outing to say the least, drawing natural comparisons to the late-great Amy Winehouse for her soulful voice and cinematic presentation.

Although I wouldn’t be completely shocked if Celeste was to walk away the overall Mercury Prize winner, I think the success Not Your Muse has brought her already goes against her case. With its release, she became the first British female to have a No.1 debut album in the last five years and she even already has an Oscar nomination to her name for Best Original Song. She’s also been featured on Sky Sports coverage all year, as well as high profile John Lewis and SuperBowl adverts.

Therefore, I think it’s safe to say Celeste’s career is already flourishing, so a Mercury Prize win for her would simply be another accolade rather than the career-defining moment it has been for other artists in the past, and would be for other artists on this year’s shortlist.

8. Fir Wave by Hannah Peel

Northern Irish composer, producer and electronic musician Hannah Peel makes for a fascinating entry in the Mercury Prize shortlist for me. This was another record that I hadn’t heard previously and took me by surprise, with Peel essentially reinterpreting 1972 album Electrosonic by Delia Derbyshire (famous for creating the original Doctor Who theme) and the Radiophonic Workshop.

Although this is based on source material, this is an entirely fresh composition with Peel’s style of electronica drawing comparisons to that of Mercury Prize alumni Jon Hopkins. Peel herself best describes the record as “The cycles in life that will keep on evolving and transforming forever. Fir Wave is defined by its continuous environmental changes and there are so many connections to those patterns echoed in electronic music – it's always an organic discovery of old and new.”

It is an impressive record, and I was quite torn as to where to place this one on the list. If the Mercury Prize decide to return to their old habit of giving a lesser-known record the overall nod, then Hannah Peel could well be the artist to benefit - but that hasn’t really been the trend in recent years. Additionally, Peel herself is a very successful composer who continues to score many TV programmes and films, as well as putting together orchestral arrangements for the likes of Paul Weller.

For me, the nomination for Fir Wave has already granted it additional attention, which I think makes it a winner already in that sense. It’s certainly got an outside chance for the overall prize itself but based on recent history I don’t see it being named as the winner.

7. As the Love Continues by Mogwai

At this point, ten albums and 26 years into their career, people just about know what to expect from Scottish post-rockers Mogwai, and that is soaring, grandiose instrumentals. Yet somehow with each new release, the band continue to astonish, taking their instrumentals into unchartered territory and leaving listeners in wonder with their colourful, breathtaking soundscapes.

Amazingly, As the Love Continues is the band’s first ever Mercury Prize nomination, which is quite incredible given the high standard of their output over the course of their career. That said, it is not surprising this is the one for which they have finally been nominated, as it is for my money one of their best releases.

From cathartic opener To the Bin My Friend, Tonight We Vacate The Earth, the acid-drenched industrial sounds of Here We, Here We, Here We Go Forever, and the dreamy, looping guitar riff and euphoric crescendo of Pat Stains, Mogwai’s touch for forging fascinating sonic textures hasn’t missed a beat. That said, it is the one track that contains clean vocals that stands out amongst the pack here, and that is the emotional gut punch of Ritchie Sacramento which sees frontman Stuart Braithwaite paying a beautiful tribute to all his musician friends that have passed away over the years.

This is still one of my favourite releases by anybody so far this year and my second favourite album overall out of the 12 shortlisted. So why only at No.7 you ask? Well, because sadly I just don’t see Mogwai taking away the overall prize.

Firstly, as well as their first Mercury Prize nomination this was also the album that saw Mogwai land their first ever UK No.1 album, so they are arguably more popular than they ever have been. Secondly and most importantly, the Mercury Prize has mostly favoured debut albums and younger artists throughout its long history, and I think Mogwai are simply too established and verging on legendary status at this point to get the win. So as much as I love this album, I think it’s likely to get overlooked in the same way Radiohead have been every time they’ve been nominated. Here’s hoping I’m wrong and left pleasantly surprised!

6. Conflict of Interest by Ghetts

Here’s another record where it’s quite puzzling as to which way the judges will sway on this one. On the surface, this third album from Grime MC Ghetts has all the credentials to be a Mercury Prize winner. With the likes of Dave, Skepta and Dizzee Rascal all amongst previous winners, Ghetts comes from a genre that has a winning track record, certainly in recent years as well.

The album itself is also mightily ambitious and grand in its scope, with each autobiographical, astutely written track seamlessly segueing into the next one. There are also plenty of moments throughout of stunning, cinematic orchestration that help to elevate Ghetts’ bold vision at various key points. Perhaps most importantly though, it is also one of the most critically acclaimed albums on this year’s shortlist, holding an impressive 95/100 on Metacritic at the time of writing.

However, as many reasons as there are for Ghetts to be a contender, there’s also some things working against him, which is probably why he’s landed at the midway point on the rankings. Firstly, I found the album was about 10 minutes too long and didn’t quite strike the same chord that Dave’s Psychodrama, or even Kano’s two recently nominated albums, Made In The Manor and Hoodies All Summer, have done previously. It’s certainly an impressive outing, but for me lacks the emotional punch of those records.

Also, as I said about Stormzy’s record last year and still rings true today - no album that has Ed Sheeran on it deserves to win the Mercury Prize.

5. Collapsed in Sunbeams by Arlo Parks

Into the top five now and I think here is the point where we finally arrive at what are the genuine contenders for this year’s prize. Kicking us off is young singer-songwriter Arlo Parks for her beautifully understated debut album, Collapsed In Sunbeams.

Parks said of the album recording process that she trusted her “gut feeling” a lot of the time, with most tracks “taking an hour or less from conception to end.” This is very evident across this raw, no-frills debut, where her wonderful soulful voice and honest songwriting are often the main attraction across the album’s 12 tracks.

Now, there is a lot working in Arlo’s favour when it comes to acts that historically win the Mercury Prize – it’s a debut album, she has her fans on the Mercury judging panel, and her success has been modest so far in comparison to some of the other nominees. That said though, the vital ingredient this album is missing for me is that grand ambition that recent winners Michael Kiwanuka, Dave and Sampha have all had – this is certainly a well-crafted record, but not necessarily one that will set the world alight and be talked about for years to come. For that reason, my gut says Arlo will be one of the names in the mix on awards night but will ultimately come up short.

4. DEMOTAPE/VEGA by BERWYN

For me, Trinidad-born rapper, producer, and songwriter Berwyn is the real dark horse amongst this year’s nominees. At just 27 minutes long, DEMOTAPE/VEGA is by far the shortest album on this year’s list, but nevertheless still manages to leave one of the biggest impacts.

Ultra-raw, brutally honest and charmingly homemade on his laptop, this debut is the perfect showcase for Berwyn’s talent. Across the album’s concise runtime, he carves out piano-driven R&B and Soul elements to backdrop his spoken-word style of rapping. To draw comparisons to other Mercury Prize alumni with multiple nominations, think James Blake meets Ghostpoet and you’re not a million miles away from Berwyn’s sound. For me personally, this album left a bigger impact in less than half the time of Ghetts’ whole album, thanks to cuts like the mesmerising and passionate 017 FREESTYLE.

Berwyn is certainly one of the artists on the shortlist that will greatly benefit from the extra exposure that winning the Mercury Prize brings so if you want to take a punt on an outsider, this would be the album I’d recommend backing.

3. For the First Time by Black Country, New Road

Much like Arlo Parks, experimental London rockers Black Country, New Road are another artist that have a lot pulling in their favour.

Another critically acclaimed debut and one that blends multiple elements from favoured Mercury Prize genres – post-punk, jazz, alt-rock, math-rock, amongst many others - to make a truly unique and bold sound. With razor-sharp guitar riffs, cutting lyrics and moments of seismic, horn-backed musical swells, this is a record that you can see easily winning over the judges on awards night. Although at times this is a record that’s easier to admire than it is to love, there are moments in which you can’t help but get enraptured, such as the wonderfully erratic Instrumental opening, the epic and meandering Sunglasses and the melancholic, romantic groove of the stunning Track X.

For me, this one is a genuine contender that I could easily see being named as the overall winner. In terms of things going against it, I would say it’s simply down to the fact that these next two albums are on the shortlist.

2. Blue Weekend by Wolf Alice

For me, the album that presents the biggest intrigue on this year’s shortlist is Wolf Alice’s Blue Weekend. This is because as much as there are factors working in this album’s favour, there is almost an equal measure working against this record winning the top prize.

Having released their debut My Love Is Cool in 2015 to much acclaim and their first Mercury Prize nomination, there was a lot of talk at the time as to whether the rock quartet could deliver with their eventual follow-up. With their sophomore effort, Visions of a Life, they actually went one better and won the 2018 Mercury Music Prize, achieving further critical and commercial success.

Now with Blue Weekend, the four of them have produced a record that has managed to exceed the high expectations set by the predecessors. At the time of writing, the record is currently sat on a 91/100 on Metacritic, with a 9.2 user score, suggesting widespread universal acclaim amongst both fans and critics alike – so it would certainly be a very popular winner. It also suggests that by all accounts, this record is a more significant achievement than the 2018 album for which they won the Mercury Prize.

So as the only previous winners on the shortlist who’ve also just created their best work to date, they’re a certainty to win the prize again, right? Well not quite.

You see the thing is with Wolf Alice, they have Mercury Prize history working both for and against them. On one hand, if Wolf Alice were to win, they would become only the second artist after PJ Harvey to win the Mercury Prize twice, and also become the first artist ever to win back-to-back prizes for consecutive albums. If they were to achieve this, I don’t think there would be any outcry from the public, as the consensus with Blue Weekend is that it is a very special album and would be fully deserving of such an accolade. However, to achieve this it would mean the judges doing something they have never done before, and something they have only ever done once previously.

Therefore, you must feel on the night of the awards ceremony, it will ultimately boil down to one big debate - Deserve Vs Need. With this album, it feels like Wolf Alice have finally evolved from Britain’s most promising young band, into Britain’s best band working today. They are at the height of their powers right now, with Blue Weekend landing them their first ever UK No.1 album, helping them to instantly sell out tours and catapulting them to festival headline slots. So ultimately, they don’t need the win like they did several years ago to take them to that next level.

That said, this is the best album on the list and feels like a generational record in the same way Dave’s and Michael Kiwanuka’s did the last two years. Just take a track like The Last Man On Earth for example - a haunting piano ballad built around Ellie Rowsell’s powerful vocals, that begins gently before eventually erupting into a glorious haze of soaring guitars and Beatles-like riffs. It is barely six months old and already this song feels like a timeless classic, and you can argue the rest of the album is the same. So, if any album really deserves to be named “Album of the Year” and make a bit of Mercury Prize history in the process, it is very much this one.

Which way the judges lean on this Deserve Vs Need debate I feel will ultimately decide this year’s prize, whether Wolf Alice triumph and make history or whether this next album pips it to the post instead. My gut says that the latter is more likely, but it makes for an exciting conundrum around this year’s winner and will have me rooting on the night for Wolf Alice to prevail.

1. Untitled (Rise) by SAULT

So here we are then, the album I think is most likely to take home the 2021 Mercury Prize…. and kind of predictably it’s the current favourite. Although it may be the boring choice to put this album first, analysing the chances of mysterious musical collective SAULT against the rest of the nominees, it is clear as to why they are looking the most likely at this moment in time.

Interestingly much like Burial when he was nominated back in 2008, no-one really knows much about SAULT other than the fact they make eclectic and vital music, with their identity still very much a mystery. However, despite their anonymity, the last 12 months have seen them create shockwaves throughout the music world, releasing three highly acclaimed and topically urgent albums for which they could’ve been nominated for any one of them. In fact, on Metacritic’s compilation of all critics’ Best of 2020 year-end lists, both Untitled (Black Is) and Untitled (Rise) landed in the overall Top 10, with the latter for which they are nominated holding an impressive critic score on the site of 93/100.

Whereas Untitled (Black Is) feels like the rallying cry, Untitled (Rise) is a record that celebrates black excellence, arriving in a year where the voice for racial equality has never been louder. Bringing together various elements of House, Soul, Disco, R&B and Afrobeats, SAULT have crafted a powerful statement through the pure majesty of their diverse sound. This is a thought-provoking and engaging album that will have you dancing one minute, then contemplating the state of the world around you the next.

Although it would be easy to say they have the benefit of collaborator and last year’s winner Michael Kiwanuka being on the judging panel, I think the real reason this SAULT album seems the most likely candidate is because it makes for essential listening that also perfectly fits with the Mercury Prize ethos. It is a musical collective still in their infancy, making important music that takes inspiration from a vast array of genres, as well as the current social and political climate around them.

Having listened to this record several times now, it is no surprise that many music outlets had this as their Album of the Year for 2020, and I would not be surprised at all to see the Mercury Prize give it that same accolade come September - if music really can change the world, then SAULT are leading the way.

#mercury prize #hyundai mercury prize #mercury music prize #wolf alice #sault #ghetts #celeste #arlo parks #laura mvula #black country new road #berwyn #mogwai #hannah peel #floating points #pharoah sanders #nubya garcia #best new music #albums of the year #album of the year

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nclkafilms · 3 years

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My 2021 Oscar Predictions

It seems like it was a decade ago, that I cheered for and celebrated a historic night for Parasite as Bong Joon-Ho first surprised by taking home the Best Directing Oscar ahead of Sam Mendes only for the film itself to surprise even further by taking home the biggest of them all. What a film, what a night! And what a year it has been since then; the film industry - as anything else in our lives - has been turned on its head by the global pandemic that continues to redefine our reality. Many big films and award contenders have been postponed. But where one could have feared that this would have given us a lacklustre group of nominees, this is in no way the case. Instead the lack of the big budget films has granted space for smaller, indie films treating us to interesting visions, stellar performances and new cinematic experiences. The biggest loss of course being the lack of cinema experiences; out of all the 56 nominees I have shockingly and sadly only seen 2 in the cinema: Tenet and Mank. I did, however, manage to see ALL nominated films before the show for the first time ever.

So who will win? Here are my predictions: (In paranthesis are my personal ratings of the films from 1-5)

Best Picture

The Father (4,5)

Judas and the Black Messiah (4,5)

Mank (3,5)

Minari (4,5)

Nomadland (5,0)

Promising Young Woman (5,0)

Sound of Metal (4,5)

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (4,0)

The biggest of them all seems likely to be one of the most predictable of them all. Chloe Zhao’s Nomadland, which triumphantly transcends the boundaries between documentary and fiction, has taken home close to every major award possible. The story of Fran, who’s lost everything and embarks on a spiritual journey through the America of the modern day nomads, is an awe-inspiring achievement and will be a deserved winner. The only films that might have a slight chance of causing upset seems to be my personal favourite, Promising Young Woman, the wonderful Minari, that could continue the Korean triumph of last year, and Aaron Sorkin’s Oscar-bait ensemble hit, The Trial of the Chicago 7, which could end up as the Green Book of this year. It is amazing to see films such as The Father, Judas and the Black Messiah and Sound of Metal be acknowledged with this particular nomination, but I don’t see them winning. Mank seems like an easy film to like, but a hard film to love and as such, I don’t see it winning - especially taking the preferential ballot system into consideration. I would have loved to see Soul continue the tradition of nominating animated features for its beautiful take on life.

Who will win: Nomadland

Potential spoiler: The Trial of the Chicago 7

Personal favourite: Promising Young Woman

Should have been there: Soul

Actor in a Leading Role

Riz Ahmed, Sound of Metal (4,5)

Chadwick Boseman, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (3,5)

Anthony Hopkins, The Father (4,5)

Gary Oldman, Mank (3,5)

Steven Yeun, Minari (4,5)

Chadwick Boseman is the only actor here, whose film is not nominated in the Best Picture race, but yet, he is the one on everyone’s lips before the big night. Sadly, this - of course - is partly due to his tragic and way to early death. The entire narrative surrounding his death and the fact that only he knew about the illness, while filming Ma Rainey, adds a truly tragic nuance to his powerhouse performance. To me, he does, however, balance on the edge of being too theatrical (goes for everything concerning that film) and it is mostly in his more subtle scenes that he surprised and impressed me the most. The performance of the year is undoubtedly Anthony Hopkins in The Father in my opinion; he manages to capture all the little nuances, confusions and frustrations of growing dementia. A truly ruthless performance! I also have tons of gratitude for Ahmed’s deeply moving and involving work in Sound of Metal, and Steven Yeun’s subtle performance in Minari. Gary Oldman is good as always in Mank, but yet, I see him as the one who could have been snubbed. I would have liked to see the likes of Delroy Lindo (Da 5 Bloods) or Mads Mikkelsen (Another Round) here.

Who will win: Chadwick Boseman

Potential spoiler: Anthony Hopkins

Personal favourite: Anthony Hopkins

Should have been there: Delroy Lindo/Mads Mikkelsen

Actor in a Supporting Role

Sacha Baron Cohen, The Trial of the Chicago 7 (4,0)

Daniel Kaluuya, Judas and the Black Messiah (4,5)

Leslie Odom Jr., One Night in Miami… (4,0)

Paul Raci, Sound of Metal (4,5)

Lakeith Stanfield, Judas and the Black Messiah (4,5)

This one is Daniel Kaluuya’s to lose. And he will not be doing that. While you can argue that he might close to a leading role in Judas, but that does not take anything from his truly stunning performance. Such an interesting actor creating such an interesting character! His closest competitors seem to be Cohen for a role that hopefully can open up more dramatic chances for him and Paul Raci, who creates an endearing character in Sound of Metal. Oh, I would also love for him to win! Leslie Odom Jr. will probably have more open doors in Hollywood after his deserved nomination and Lakeith Stanfield will be asking himself how come he ends up as a supporting role for a film in which he was clearly the leading force of the story. His performance, however, is brilliant and impressed me further upon a recent rewatch of Judas. Could have been great to see Bo Burnham here for Promising Young Woman, but honestly I do not see who he should have replaced apart from Stanfield, who - as said - belongs in another category.

Who will win: Daniel Kaluuya

Potential spoiler: Sacha Baron Cohen

Personal Favourite: Daniel Kaluuya / Paul Raci

Could have been there: Bo Burnham

Actress in a Leading Role

Viola Davis, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (3,5)

Andra Day, The United States vs. Billie Holiday (2,0)

Vanessa Kirby, Pieces of a Woman (3,5)

Frances McDormand, Nomadland (5,0)

Carey Mulligan, Promising Young Woman (5,0)

Perhaps the most unpredictable race of the evening! Everyone except Kirby has taken home a major award in the run-in to the Oscars. For that reason, I am having a hard time seeing Kirby take home the win for her otherwise stunning and powerful turn in mediocre Pieces of a Woman. Andra Day took home the Golden Globe, but I think the questionable quality (nicely put) of the film will make it hard for her to repeat that victory here. McDormand is beautifully subtle in Nomadland and could easily deserve the award, but the narrative is against her as she has already won two Oscars and took one just a couple of years ago. With this in mind, I think this is between Davis and Mulligan. Davis’ performance - not unlike Boseman’s in the same film - is close to being overdone, although it is a truly transformative performance. I will, however, say it should have been nominated as a supporting role. She took home the SAG and has a strong narrative for a win. Mulligan, in Promising Young Woman, is the best performance in my opinion and a minor favourite to win; she surprises with something completely new and risk-taking while still delivering the quality and nuance we have come to expect from her. A cheeky bid for who I would have liked to see, would be Jasna Duricic of Quo Vadis, Aida?, who I think carried that film on her shoulders with an intense performance.

Who will win: Carey Mulligan

Potential spoiler: Viola Davis

Personal favourite: Carey Mulligan

Could have been there: Jasna Duricic

Actress in a Supporting Role

Maria Bakalova, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (3,5)

Glenn Close, Hillbilly Elegy (1,5)

Oliva Colman, The Father (4,5)

Amanda Seyfried, Mank (3,5)

Yuh-Jung Youn, Minari (4,5)

For a long time, Seyfried seemed like the one to beat here with a lot of buzz before Mank was released. While her performance is delightful, her role is, however, extremely limited and I actually ended up being surprised she was even there on nomination morning. Colman and Close famously battled for the leading actress award two years ago with Colman surprisingly (yet, deservedly) taking home the award. That left Close Oscar-less still, but while the narrative might be with her, it would be a shame to give her the award for this performance in this film. Bakalova is the surprise: raunchy and ruthless, she is not only the rare comedic nomination, but also one of the most daring performances of the year. I would love for her to win, and should she win it will not just be because of THAT hotel room scene. Her turn in Borat is surprisingly funny and layered. I do - however - think that everyone has been as charmed by Youn as I have been. Her grandmother in Minari is the heart of the film and she creates one of the most memorable on-screen grandmothers in recent time. I would have loved to see Dominique Fishback from Judas, although her role was also quite small.

Who will win: Yuh-Jung Youn

Potential spoiler: Maria Bakalova / Glenn Close

Personal favourite: Yuh-Jung Youn

Should have been there: Dominique Fishback

Animated Feature Film

Onward (3,5)

Over the Moon (3,0)

A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon (3,5)

Soul (4,5)

Wolfwalkers (4,0)

Soul is winning this one with no real competitor. It is an amazing film by Pixar - both storywise, philosophically and in particular technically. But it is also daring as it is close to being there first truly film MAINLY for adults. Pixar competes against themselves, as Onward is also here. Netflix joins the animation race with the charming Over the Moon, while Aardman Studios are here with Farmageddon, which is a simply delightful children’s film. Wolfwalkers is perhaps the most interesting when it comes to animation style as the handdrawn animation follows the emotions of the characters.

Who will win: Soul

Potential spoiler: Wolfwalkers

Personal favourite: Soul

Cinematography

Sean Bobbitt, Judas and the Black Messiah (4,5)

Erik Messerschmidt, Mank (3,5)

Dariusz Wolski, News of the World (3,0)

Joshua James Richards, Nomadland (5,0)

Phedon Papamichael, The Trial of the Chicago 7 (4,0)

I was happy to see Judas being recognised here, but it hardly stands a chance, despite its great work with depth. The same can be said about Papamichael, whose nomination I honestly do not understand, and Wolski, who produces some stunning vistas in the otherwise disappointing News of the World. Messerschmidt’s black and white work on Mank is a joy to behold, and while the Academy typically love black and white cinematography, I only see it as a potential spoiler. Joshua James Richards manages the otherwise small Nomadland into a grand and stunning film with some of the most beautiful images that I cannot wait to enjoy in a cinema. I would have loved to see Hoyte van Hoytema be nominated for his work on the otherwise faulty Tenet.

Who will win: Nomadland

Potential spoiler: Mank

Personal favourite: Nomadland

Should have been there: Tenet

Costume Design

Emma (3,0)

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (3,5)

Mank (3,5)

Mulan (3,0)

Pinocchio (1,5)

This is Ma Rainey’s to lose with all of its broadway costumes. Personally I rate the costumes in both Pinocchio higher and I would have liked to see Promising Young Woman nominated, although I know how rarely contemporary nominees are in this category.

Who will win: Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Potential spoiler: Mank

Personal favourite: Pinocchio

Could have been there: Promising Young Woman

Directing

Thomas Vinterberg, Another Round (5,0)

David Fincher, Mank (3,5)

Lee Isaac Chung, Minari (4,5)

Chloé Zhao, Nomadland (5,0)

Emerald Fennell, Promising Young Woman (5,0)

It is a historic year for this category; the first time that two female directors are nominated in the same year. Chloé Zhao will also find her way into the history books as the only second female winner of the category for her work with Nomadland; a film which would never have existed without her. Fennell and Chung are her closest competitors, but despite their deeply personal and commited work they do not stand a chance. Mank is as Fincher as it gets, but the films is just not very good in the end. Finally, as a Dane, I am of course ecstatic to see Vinterberg here for his masterful work on Another Round. I would have loved to see Florian Zeller for The Father, though!

Who will win: Chloé Zhao

Potential spoiler: Lee Isaac Chung

Personal favourite: Chloé Zhao

Could have been there: Florian Zeller

Documentary (Feature)

Collective (4,5)

Crip Camp (4,0)

The Mole Agent (3,0)

My Octopus Teacher (4,0)

Time (5,0)

For a long time, Time or Collective seemed to be the ones to beat here. While Time, which I reckon to be one of the best, most impactful films of the year, remains my favourite, I think it might be too slow for some people. Collective shares the same issue as the entertaining The Mole Agent; they are in a foreign language. Thus, we end up with Crip Camp and My Octopus Teacher. The first is undoubtedly the most important of the two, but I do think that the heart-warming and surprisingly effective story of man and nature in Octopus Teacher will charm its way to a surprising Oscar! The fascinating micro-cosmos of American politics portrayed in Boys State was snubbed here!

Who will win: My Octopus Teacher

Potential spoiler: Crip Camp

Personal favourite: Time

Should have been there: Boys State

Documentary (Short Subject)

Colette (3,5)

A Concerto is a Conversation (3,5)

Do Not Split (4,5)

Hunger Ward (3,5)

A Love Song for Latasha (4,0)

Notoriously difficult to predict, this years documentary shorts are no exception. Four of them are mainly journalistic, with A Love Song for Latasha standing out with its artistic aspects. I think that will tip the votes in its favour.

Who will win: A Love Song for Latasha

Potential spoiler: A Concerto is a Conversation

Personal Favourite: Do Not Split

Film Editing

The Father (4,5)

Nomadland (5,0)

Promising Young Woman (5,0)

Sound of Metal (4,5)

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (4,0)

Traditionally the film featuring the most and the most clear cuts will take home this Oscar, making Trial the traditional favourite here. However, Mikkel E.G. Nielsen’s close collaboration with the sound designers of Sound of Metal seems to have pushed that film closer to a suprising yet deserved award. For me, however, the confusing, unstructured work of Yorgos Lamprinos in The Father is the best of the year. Mank would have liked to have this on nomination morning.

Who will win: Sound of Metal

Potential spoiler: The Trial of the Chicago 7

Personal favourite: The Father

International Feature Film

Another Round (5,0)

Better Days (3,5)

Collective (4,5)

The Man Who Sold His Skin (3,5)

Quo Vadis, Aida? (4,5)

Collective follows Honeyland’s example from last year with a double nomination for international and documentary, but it will not win despite its high quality. The Man Who Sold His Skin is an interesting and thought-provoking take on the refugee crisis and Better Days is a surprisingly effective YA adaptation with some criticism of the Chinese school system - they will be happy just be there. Quo Vadis, Aida? Is a really good film with a towering lead performance about one of the most gruesome historical events post WWII. However, and this is not just because I am Danish, Another Round will take this home. The film that grew from initially being a celebration of the Danish alcohol culture organically grew into a celebration of life in the shadows of a personal tragedy for director Vinterberg. At its heart is a beautiful performance from Mads Mikkelsen and a fascinating study of the Danish alcohol culture in the universally recognisable struggle of life. Its take on the built in paradox of our teenagers being stressed out in order to gain access to the same life that the film’s four protagonists desperately try to escape, is thought-provoking and well-portrayed.

Who will win: Another Round

Potential spoiler: Quo Vadis, Aida?

Personal favourite: Another Round

Makeup and Hairstyling

Emma (3,0)

Hillbilly Elegy (2,0)

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (3,5)

Mank (3,5)

Pinocchio (1,5)

Despite being a horrible film, the makeup and prosthetic work in Pinocchio ought to secure it an Oscar here. However, this will be given to the theatre makeup work in Ma Rainey.

Who will win: Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Potential spoiler: Hillbilly Elegy

Personal favourite: Pinocchio

Music (Original Score)

Da 5 Bloods (3,5)

Mank (3,5)

Minari (4,5)

News of the World (3,0)

Soul (4,5)

News of the World is a good yet classic western score, Da 5 Bloods is a nice score to listen to but does not fit in the film and Emile Mosseri’s brilliant score in Minari might be a bit too simple for some people. This means that this a battle between Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross and themselves for their buzzing 40’s score in Mank and amazing collaboration with Jon Batiste in Soul. Reznor and Ross will be taking the stage along with Batiste! It is close to robbery that Ludwig Göransson is not nominated for his towering Tenet score!!

Who will win: Soul

Potential spoiler: Mank

Personal favourite: Soul

Should have been there: Tenet

Music (Original Song)

“Fight for You”, Judas and the Black Messiah (4,5)

“Hear My Voice”, The Trial of the Chicago 7 (4,0)

“Husavik”, Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (3,0)

“Io Si (Seen”), The Life Ahead (3,0)

“Speak Now”, One Night in Miami… (4,0)

“Husavik” is a great song and is the only of the songs to truly play a part in the film rather than just being a credits song and I think that should always be a factor! However, this is Leslie Odom Jr.’s for the beautifully subtle “Speak Now” - he is an amazing singer! “Green” from Sound of Metal should have been here, I have to say.

Who will win: “Speak Now”

Potential spoiler: “Husavik”

Personal favourite: “Husavik”

Should have been there: “Green”

Production Design

The Father (4,5)

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (3,5)

Mank (3,5)

News of the World (3,0)

Tenet (3,0)

The wonderfully simple, yet effective production design of The Father really should be winning this. However, The Academy always love representations of Hollywood and - to be fair - the work in Mank is incredibly detailed and beautiful to look at. Honestly, I would have loved to see Emma - that film was one of the most beautiful of the year!

Who will win: Mank

Potential spoiler: The Father / Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Personal favourite: The Father

Could have been there: Emma

Short Film (Animation)

Burrow (4,0)

Genius Loci (3,0)

If Anything Happens I Love You (4,5)

Opera (5,0)

Yes-People (3,0)

Yes-People is funny but uninteresting. Genius Loci is visually fascinating but also very abstract. Burrow is classic Pixar charm. If Anything Happens I Love You is an emotional gut-punch. Opera is transcending the film media being more of an art installation rather than an actual shortfilm; it is however both visually and visionary in a league of its own. So obviously, it will not win. Disappointing not to see Out here!

Who will win: If Anything Happens I Love You

Potential spoiler: Burrow

Personal favourite: Opera

Should have been there: Out

Short Film (Live Action)

Feeling Through (4,0)

The Letter Room (3,5)

The Present (4,0)

Two Distant Strangers (2,0)

White Eye (3,0)

Two Distant Strangers seems like a late frontrunner here, and while it is impossible to disasgree with the importance of the film’s topic, I simply did not like the film. I found it both exploitative and overly symbolic leaving me with a bad taste in my mouth; difficult opinions to have regarding a film about such an important topic. None of the other four truly stand out, but I would love to see the inclusive and touching Feeling Through receive the Oscar.

Who will win: Two Distant Strangers

Potential spoiler: The Letter Room

Personal favourite: Feeling Through

Sound

Greyhound (2,0)

Mank (3,5)

News of the World (3,0)

Soul (4,5)

Sound of Metal (4,5)

Rarely has a film been so defined by its sound as Sound of Metal. It is not only groundbreaking but also deeply fascinating, impressive and involving; a main factor in the film’s success. It is difficult to predict as this is the first year the two awards (Editing/Mixing) have been combined. Greyhound might have been able to grab an editing award had they been separated still…

Who will win: Sound of Metal

Potential spoiler: Soul

Personal favourite: Sound of Metal

Visual Effects

Love and Monsters (3,0)

The Midnight Sky (2,5)

Mulan (3,0)

The One and Only Ivan (3,0)

Tenet (3,0)

A category that would probably have been dominated by films such as Godzilla vs. Kong, Dune and Black Widow in a normal 2020, has now granted space for the charming animals of The One and Only Ivan and the surprisingly entertaining and heartfelt Love and Monsters. It does, however, seem like an obvious opportunity to give the supposed “saviour of cinema” Tenet one award.

Who will win: Tenet

Potential spoiler: The Midnight Sky

Personal favourite: Tenet

Should have been there: Soul

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (3,5)

The Father (4,5)

Nomadland (5,0)

One Night in Miami… (4,0)

The White Tiger (3,0)

The White Tiger is the odd one out here with its overly told and clumsy voice-over, whereas Borat is another example of the weird definition. While the main character is not new, the film is obviously an original story. One Night in Miami… is a much better adaption than Ma Rainey, but The Father is even more successful in its journey from stage to silver screen. Zeller’s screenplay is masterful and daring in its ruthless depiction of dementia. However, it faces stern competition from Chloé Zhao who might add her first of many Oscars of the evening with this award for a rare adaptation of a non-fiction work into a fictional story.

Who will win: The Father

Potential spoiler: Nomadland

Personal favourite: The Father

Writing (Original Screenplay)

Judas and the Black Messiah (4,5)

Minari (4,5)

Promising Young Woman (5,0)

Sound of Metal (4,5)

The Trial of Chicago 7 (4,0)

I was immensely happy to see Judas and Sound of Metal here as they told well-structured and well-paced stories, while this was the biggest nail in the coffin for Mank as David Fincher’s father missed out on a nomination for the film about one of history’s best screenplays. The battle is seems to be between the king of screenplays Aaron Sorkin and a certain promising young woman, Emerald Fennell, who has written the best screenplay of the year in my opinion. Look out for Lee Isaac Chung as he will be ready to pounce with his deeply personal screenplay for Minari, should the battle between Fennell and Sorkin fall flat. The extremely charming and funny Palm Springs should have been here!

Who will win: Promising Young Woman

Potential spoiler: The Trial of the Chicago 7

Personal favourite: Promising Young Woman

Should have been there: Palm Springs

I wish everyone the best of Oscar nights! May the best films win!

#Oscars #Oscars 2021 #Oscars Warm Up #My Oscar Predictions #Oscar Predictions #Academy Awards #Academy Awards Predictions #Nomadland #The Father #The Trial of The Chicago 7 #Sound of Metal #Judas and the Black Messiah #Minari #Mank #Promising Young Woman

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waywardodysseys · 4 years

Text

Victory - Oneshot

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x female reader

Warnings: cussing, teasing

Requested?: Yes from this ask by @bloggerchic14 - I was hoping if you can do one where reader is nominated for best director at the Oscars and she didn’t expect to win but when she does ends up in shock and Pedro ends up walking up stage with her. They then end up at the Vanity fair party and reader parties hard and teases Pedro. Thank you ☺️

Author’s note: none

~ ~ ~

You’re jittery as you sit in the limo. You breathe in and out trying to calm your nerves. Your hands running over the simple black strapless gown you are wearing.

The man sitting next to you places his hand on your arm, trying to calm you.

“We haven’t even walked the red carpet,” your dad whispers.

You swallow, “you aren’t the one nominated for an award. Talk is I could win. I won at the Golden Globes, the BAFTAs – which was still surprising, the Critics’ Choice Awards. An Oscar would complete the shelf of the other awards.”

He laughs wholeheartedly, “they aren’t on a shelf. You use them as bookends or paperweights.”

You shrug and laugh, “you know what I mean.”

You had taken a family member or a close friend as your date to each awards show. You took your mother to the Golden Globes (your mom nearly fainted when she met Tom Hanks), your best friend to the BAFTAs (this included a well-deserved girls trip), your sibling to the Critics’ Choice Awards (which they found dull, but they got to meet their celebrity crush), and your father’s now going with you to the Oscars.

Your father and mother had bickered about what awards show they would attend with you. You had picked the Golden Globes and the Oscars for them because those award shows meant the most to you.

They eventually drew straws. Your mother getting the Golden Globes, and your father getting the Oscars.

You knew they couldn’t be more prouder of you when you had told them you had been nominated for directing your first movie.

“We’re ecstatic for you honey!”

“Over the moon!”

“Proud of our baby girl!”

“We knew you could do it!”

They both had exclaimed when you called them to tell them the news of each nomination.

Now with three awards under your belt you were ready to claim the fourth but also feared you weren’t going to get it. You’re up against some big names – Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino, and David Lynch. You are the newcomer, the first timer. It would be a rarity for the Academy to award you when they could easily go with an oldie tried and true person who has been directing nearly their entire life.

The door opens and your father looks at you, “ready?”

You smile weakly, “I guess. Let’s do this.”

-------

Inside the Dolby Theatre celebrities are mingling as you and your father are escorted down one of the many aisles towards your seats. The usher pauses at the fifth row up from the stage.

“Miss Y/L/N,” the usher smiles, “here are your two seats. Enjoy!”

“Thank you kindly,” your father remarks as the usher disappears.

You breathe a sigh of relief at being on the aisle. You didn’t want to parade down an entire row of people in case your name was called when they announced the winner.

Several people were familiar to you as you looked around, most of them your cast. They all greeted you with smiles and hugs.

Sarah Paulson pulls you into a tight embrace.

“I’m betting big on you tonight,” Sarah whispers as she pulls away.

“Please don’t tell me that!” You laugh.

“They’d be wrong not to give you the damn award. You’re the first female director to be nominated in a few years and your first nomination ever!” Sarah retorts.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” you reply as the lights begin to dim and brighten which indicated five minutes to show time, “no Holland?”

“She’s working. I brought Pedro,” Sarah looks around the theatre, “he’s here somewhere. Hopefully he’s here before the show begins.”

Right before the orchestra begins playing you hear a light “excuse me” from beside your father, who took the aisle seat.

Your father stands then you do.

The man nods at your father, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” your father whispers as he sits.

The man then looks at you and smiles, “thank you.”

You nod your head and smile in return. You hadn’t met Pedro Pascal prior to this evening. He was someone you were wanting to work with because of seeing him in Narcos. Sarah had even praised him when you two were discussing your next movie one day.

“Pedro would be fantastic!” Sarah had exclaimed.

“I’ve seen his work in Narcos, nothing else.” You had remarked.

“He’s versatile. Done plenty of stage work, movies, T.V. shows. If you are wanting to do a modern reimagining of The Lady Eve, I think you should reach out to Pedro’s people. You won’t regret it.” She had leaned in and whispered, “he loves that movie. One of his faves.”

Now you glance at Sarah as you take a seat. She gives you a sly smile. You know she remembers your conversation as well. She wants you to meet Pedro and show you he deserves to be directed by you.

“Pedro this is Y/N,” Sarah remarks a couple of hours into the show.

Pedro smiles at you and holds out his hand, “I know who she is Sarah. Yet I haven’t met her.”

You take his hand and shake it. “Nice to meet you Pedro.”

“She wants to direct a modern reimagining of The Lady Eve,” Sarah implies with a smile towards you.

Pedro turns his dark brown eyes to you. Their opened wide and his face is a look of seriousness. “Really?”

You blush and smile, “yes.”

“How would you tell it?”

“I’m thinking of having the man play the con artist,” you reply.

“Are you working on a script? Or have someone working on one?” Pedro asks eagerly.

You laugh, “Phoebe Waller-Bridge and I are working on a script together.”

“I’d love to read it! Even audition!” Pedro smiles widely.

You glance at him, “I’ll keep you in mind.”

“Oh, come on!” Pedro laughs.

“Y/N,” your father whispers, “your category is up next.”

Right, you think as your heart begins pounding loudly inside of your chest.

Pedro squeezes your hand and whispers, “good luck.”

You smile in return then move your eyes to the stage.

Natalie Portman smiles brightly for the camera as she reads the teleprompter, “the nominees for best director are: David Lynch, Y/F/N Y/L/N, Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg and Quentin Tarantino.”

Your eyes are on the screen as small clips from each of the movies are played. You shrink in your seat as you watch a cameraman kneel beside your row and place the lens on you.

“You’re okay,” your father whispers as he leans over, “breathe.”

You try but you know one of the men will get it. They’ll go with the tried and true who have won before. Not the debut director, not the newcomer.

“The Oscar goes to,” a pause as the envelope is opened, “wow! The Oscar goes to Y/F/N Y/L/N!”

Natalie Portman said my name, you think as tears flood your eyes. My name? My name!

Everyone around you stands and applauds. The whole theatre stands to their feet and applauds.

Your father leans down and touches your shoulder.

“You have to go get it,” he says with a smirk.

You nod as you stand.

Sarah’s right there and embraces you tightly, “told you!”

Pedro’s pushed back against his folded seat as he lets Sarah hug you. He winks at you as you pull away from Sarah and turn towards the aisle.

The thundering applause fills your ears as you begin to take a step up the stairs towards Natalie and the Oscar. You’re focused on making sure you don’t trip yet you do.

You laugh as you sit up and smile. Pedro’s right there with a hand to help you up.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“You’re welcome,” he whispers in return.

He tries to let your hand go but you’re gripping it tightly. Your nerves are getting the best of you.

Pedro smiles as he hooks your hand in the crook of his arm. He guides you up the remaining stairs, escorting you towards Natalie and the microphone. The Oscar statue you are about to claim as yours.

Once Natalie embraces you and hands you the award, Pedro takes a step back and lets you have the spotlight. The applause dies down as people take their seats and you wring your hands around the Oscar you now have in your possession.

You wipe at your tears, “Um, there’s so many to thank. I apologize beforehand if I forget anyone,” you pause, “I’d like to thank the Academy. Paramount Studios for taking a chance on me and this movie I love. Plan B productions for a chance as well. The amazing crew I was placed with, thank you. My wonderful cast – Hugh Laurie, Katie Holmes, Emily Blunt, Sterling K. Brown, and Sarah Paulson. Thank you. As well as to the other amazing cast members I appreciate you all. To my close friends and my dear family I can never thank you enough for loving me for me, and supporting me for when I wanted to come out here and start directing. From T.V. shows to the big screen, directing will always be my passion. To all the girls out there wanting to direct, take a chance and follow your dreams, follow your heart. I will be your biggest supporter.” You smile widely and raise the Oscar in the air, “thank you again!”

The entire theatre erupts in applause as you walk off the stage with Natalie and Pedro.

You’re grinning from ear to ear as Natalie releases you from the hug she gave you once you were in line to make your way to the media room.

“Congrats again!” She smiles.

“Thanks,” you smile in return.

Your eyes watch her walk away then land on Pedro who was stopped by Kit Harrington. You had hoped you’d be able to talk to him more. You wanted to talk to him more. You wanted to thank him properly for being there to help you up the stairs.

“Miss Y/L/N?” Someone with a headset on their head draws your face back around.

You hum and raise a brow.

“The press is ready.”

You smile, “thanks.”

The person opens the curtain and the cameras start flashing as you walk in. You take one glance back at Pedro hoping he’s going to the same after party as you are.

-------

The Vanity Fair after party is in full swing after the limo driver took your father home. He didn’t want to spend all night out on the town, which you preferred because you were going to party hard for as long as you could before returning in the wee hours of the night. And there was someone you needed to cross paths with again – Pedro.

Inside you are swarmed by actors and actresses congratulating you, wanting to know what you’re doing next, wondering if they could give you a call about auditioning for anything you do in the future. They give you glasses of champagne. Toasting you over abundantly, making you sip on the frothy and bubbly liquid. It’s all overwhelming until you feel a hand grasp yours and pull you away.

“Give her a chance to breathe!” Sarah nearly shouts as she drags you away from the horde of people.

You giggle as Sarah pulls you away and into a corner. She swipes two glasses of champagne off a tray from a passing by waiter.

Sarah clinks her glass to yours, “congrats!”

“Thanks,” you smile not bothering to take a sip. “I’ve had too much of this.”

“Understandable,” Sarah pauses as she gulps down her glass then takes yours, “so, Academy Award winner director Y/F/N Y/L/N directing a remake of The Lady Eve starring Pedro Pascal…”

You giggle, “where is he by the way?”

“Oh, your rescuer?” Sarah giggles loudly. She’s had a little too much alcohol already. “He’s here somewhere. He saw you trip, and zoom did he go to rescue you. When he got back to the seat I whispered, ‘her dad’s right there Pedro.’”

“What was his reaction?”

“’Well at least I scored brownie points with him.’” Sarah laughs.

You giggle as the alcohol courses through your veins. You place a hand on your stomach when it growls. You realize it’s empty, and you’re starving.

“Is there food here?” You ask absentmindedly.

“Yeah but it’s mostly finger foods,” Sarah smiles, “here he is!”

Pedro smiles as he hands Sarah a napkin, “food.”

“Share with the lady,” Sarah points at you as she swallows a couple of cheese cubes.

Pedro smiles at you and holds out another napkin. It’s filled with cheese cubes, crackers, even a chocolate covered strawberry.

“Hey,” Pedro pouts, “the strawberry was mine!”

You smile as you bite a small piece, “have the rest.”

“You may the whole thing. It’s not like I fought a swarm of people to get just one!”

You finish the decadent dessert. Not sure if it’s the alcohol or not, you lean over and brush your lips across his.

Pedro inwardly moans as he tastes the chocolate strawberry on your lips. He swipes his tongue across your lips. He tastes the champagne once you let him in.

You pull back breathlessly and look into Pedro’s deep brown eyes. “I, uh, I…”

Pedro smiles, reaches out, and runs a finger down your cheek, “it’s okay.”

Sarah is able to tell she’s no longer needed. “I’m gonna leave you two to it. Goodnight.”

“Night,” you and Pedro say in unison. His eyes and your eyes are one another.

“Thank you for coming to my rescue,” you say after seconds of silence.

Pedro grins lopsidedly, “you’re welcome. I do hope at least it scored me some brownie points.”

“Why?”

“I want to be a part of The Lady Eve.”

“Script’s not done. And I’m currently working with Netflix on a series.”

“I’d like to be forefront and center when you go to producers. Tell them Pedro Pascal needs to be in this movie, will be in this movie,” he remarks with a laugh.

“Are you desperate for a role where one sees your face?” You ask.

Pedro raises an eyebrow, “I was informed you’ve only seen Narcos from my long resume.”

“I see you and Sarah have talked.”

Pedro shrugs, “I inquired about you on the way here. She’s the one who worked with you. She even raved about you while you were filming. Said you were extremely kind and knew what you were doing, what you wanted and needed from the cast and crew.”

“Glad to know at least one person likes me,” you jokingly laugh.

“Everyone likes you Y/N,” Pedro remarks. “You’re kind, sweet. A great kisser.”

You inwardly laugh then run your hand up Pedro’s arm. “You’re too kind Pedro, too sweet.”

Pedro holds in his moan as your hand runs up his arm then over his chest and down his stomach.

You lean forward and brush your mouth against his. You feel his arms wrap around you and pull you close, deepening the kiss. You moan as his hands travel up and down your back, occasionally touching your bare skin.

Heat rises in your body as you move your hands across his shoulders down his chest. You finally loop them around his neck and run your fingers through his hair.

Pedro pulls faintly away. He looks into your Y/E/C eyes. He leans down and nuzzles your neck. Your skin is delicate and warm.

“Pedro,” you moan lowly as his mustache tickles your skin.

You snake a hand down his chest. You run it teasingly over his crotch and find him hard.

Fuck, your mind screams as pleasure intensifies inside of you.

Pedro hisses as he pulls back, “you’re a tease too. A wicked tease.”

“You are too Pedro,” you remark as you press your body against his.

You want Pedro, need Pedro. Your body is aching to have his mouth and hands all over it.

You would never have the courage to be this blunt, but with the alcohol pumping through your veins you do. You look at Pedro in seriousness, “please get me out of here Pedro. I need you in more ways than one. If you know—”

Pedro kisses you soundly and grabs your hand as he pulls you towards the exit, “I know what you mean Y/N. I want to get us both out of here so we’re able to enjoy each other fully especially with our clothes off.”

You knew this was going to be a night you’d never forget – you won your Oscar, and you had the ultimate lap of victory when you and Pedro finally made it into his bed - sans clothes.

Tags: @pascalisthepunkest, @cosmo-bear, @kaelyn-lobrutto24, @knight-of-heart44, @caitlincat-95, @random066, @readsalot73, @arrowswithwifi, @halefirewarrior, @x-wingwarriorbbpoe8, @stardust-and-starlight, @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead, @longitud-de-onda, @jokersdoll, @earl-01, @ezraslittlebirdie, @bonkybaaarnes

#victory oneshot #request #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #oneshot #sarah paulson #oscars

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dropsofletters · 4 years

Text

i will never love you more

title: i will never love you more pairing: woo jiho/reader genre: friends with benefits!au/unrequited love!au/slice of life!au summary: sometimes, love is for a variety of things; for music, for the sky, for the snooze button in an alarm or for twenty more minutes of sleep. sometimes, love is only for one person. sometimes, love is not even in the dictionary of certain people, simply disregarded as something weak. all those concepts are learned when she falls for someone like him. type: angst/romance/suggestive word count: 7,579

Closing her eyes is not a choice.

It’s a rule that inherently comes from the moment she meets him. The first time, an electronic cigarette is in between his lips and everything about him exudes typicality; from his parted legs, trying to show some kind of masculinity, the fire behind his eyes, the smirk on his lips that tries to conceal the bags under his eyes. The man looks a little bit like he hasn’t slept in twenty years of his life and damn right styles it correctly, black clothing covering his body yet not the tattoos that scatter around his arms. She keeps looking at him, like it’s free, like the club is not buzzing and this bachelorette party is not the damn worst place she could be on a Saturday night.

Friends of friends, that is how they would consider the other. She doesn’t even know his name until a little bit into the night. The club is pumping and the decorations are ratchet, at best, leaving her with an awkward smile as she tries to pinpoint what is the reason why she is staying there. Her eyes immediately gravitate towards him, inspecting his face closer now that a cloud of smoke is not surrounding him. His brown hair is tousled, as if it had been wet not too long ago, his nose big yet perfectly paired with his pinkish lips. Eyes like a tiger—or more, like a hawk, basically sparing her a glance from the corner of his eye before returning his attention to his drink and she swears she sees a ghost of a smile.

And that shouldn’t be an indicator of perdition, but that is the first step she took into the biggest frenzy of her life, not only leaving her breathless but hopeless when it comes to love, sex and anything of that sort.

He remains nameless and she remains sober, anyone else drinking, being taken care by her when all she wants to do is shorten the distance between the two and talk to him. She knows the bachelorette, hair dyed in the most gorgeous of rose-golds to match her party, taking her last night as a ‘single’ woman way too seriously, but she has never understood the concept behind the celebration. Instead, she wonders why the man by the empty seats in the club remains so serious. The apples of his cheeks rounded, only lifting so slightly when he presses his lips tightly in a curve as a greeting.

Something about him is just perfection. Perhaps, she is acting upon attraction—it has been a while since she has been this interested in someone physically, to be exact. Talking becomes a tongue-twister. Concentrating is a hard task. She is wound to take care of her friends and yet, she is dying to simply go over to him and take confidence from where she lacks. Midnight is speaking, twirling her in the damned hands of embarrassment, because someone like him exudes the phrase ‘I will never take you seriously’, and yet, she is aching to introduce herself to him.

What is seriousness either way? What is it worth?

Though, it’s difficult not to be the mere concept of seriousness when she is entirely sober, one of her friend’s arms slung over her shoulder with a loud, definitely saliva-coated, smooch resting upon her cheek when her drunken friend speaks, air filled with the stench of alcohol. They ramble about something, leaving her with one hand extended to pat over her friend’s back. “There, there, Yeon. You’ll be fine.”

“I know!” Seoyeon spits out, lifting her gaze with one big smile on her face. “I just don’t get it.”

“What don’t you get?” Though, she is not interested in the rambles of her drunken friend, as much as she could love her.

“How is it that Valerie got married before I did?”

Shrugging her shoulders, she comes to an abrupt stop. After all, there are no rules to love or marriage. Love cannot be calculated, just like it can’t be created. It appears, like oxygen in the air, in the form of heart palpitations too rapid to control and tranquility that comes after the dulling moment of accommodation. That is in its best form, not when it aches, when it digs deeply into the skin of its owner to leave imprints of unrequited romance. “It just happens. Marriage is not that big of a deal.”

“It is to me!”

“Your worth does not depend on marriage.”

More babbles leave her mouth, something that she tries to listen to but can’t keep up with, until the sound of laughter passes over the noise of the music, making her turn to her right simply to look at the plump-lipped stranger’s smile. For once, he doesn’t look as intimidating, as though as if he could eat her alive with one word from his mouth. “Your friend is giving you a handful, right?” He asks, something that brings a shy beam to her face.

“I suppose.” She says, biting down on her bottom lip and reddening them with the action.

He actually drags his seat closer, reaching for one of the closed bottles of water in the middle of the decorated tables to place it on her hand. “Give her some water, maybe. Help her lighten up. You haven’t even moved from your spot since the party started.”

Uncapping the bottle, she puts it up to Seoyeon’s lips and after some struggling, the woman downs the drink in big gulps, giving her time to talk to the, perhaps known, stranger. “Likewise. You’ve been seated there for the entire party.”

“Sounds like you’ve been looking at me.” He teases, half chuckling at what he says when he leans back on the seat and is given the empty bottle back, which he simply rests on the side of his chair.

“…You could say so.” She replies, aware of her flirting tone when she is patting her friend’s back and god, this must be in the books of bad friendship, but the connection she feels towards this man comes like electricity to her body. He doesn’t light her up, instead, the rays within her body electrify all sense of judgement because one smile from him may as well be an award. Oscar winner of a comedy if she even makes him laugh.

“Have you eaten something, at least?” He asks, tongue protruding on the side of his mouth almost like a habit, before putting it back.

“Not really,” She says, fixing Seoyeon’s hair as her eyes close softly. “Hey, girlie, don’t fall asleep.” Her hands give a slight shake to her friend’s body, aware that at any time she’d have to be getting in a taxi with her to take her home. A good night of rest would be necessary, that is for sure, for the morning for Seoyeon would be flashbacks mixed with the smell of vomit. “I’d rather not eat the dick-shaped pastries. It’s not really the image I’m going for.”

“Same.” He finishes, earning a well-deserved chuckle from her as she stands up at the same time that Seoyeon tries to get away from her, wrapping her arms around the drunken woman to keep her in place.

Is this how single mothers feel when their children are acting up and they are trying to flirt with someone, in the one in a million opportunity they get?

Though, magic suddenly surrounds him, the dangerous gaze had turned sweeter, lemonade just sugary enough, shaking his head with laughter at the sight in front of him. “I actually wouldn’t think of you as the type to be in these kinds of parties.” She tells him, earning an eyebrow raise from him.

“Oh, why?” Though, he is definitely not surprised at the comment. More like he wants a piece of her mind.

“Too cool for this kind of party.”

“I was dragged here, actually.” He answers, rubbing his left eye to fight back the tiredness that must be filling him, if the shadows under his eyes are anything to go by. “A guy can only deny so many parties for working before their friends get suspicious.”

Her interest perks up at that, settling her weight down on the seat and hoping that Seoyeon remains seated on her lap, as if drunkenness will finally bring her tranquil personality back to her soul. “I can see that. What’s that job that is taking up so much time from you?”

“A producer,” Though, he stops himself, something that she should understand from now on. There is always some truth and then, a conclusion. There is always a ‘but’ with him. “Well, trying to be. I’m still trying to get the hang of it. It’s difficult.”

“Really? I kind of see it now, you definitely look like the musical type—”

An elongated whine from Seoyeon is enough to cut the conversation to a short. “Can’t we just go?!”

“Looks like you’ve got to go in a bit.” The stranger indicates, standing up with his hands placed in the depths of the pockets of his black skinny jeans.

“Yeah…” She trails her voice, trying not to stare but blinking is hell when there is a man like him in front of her. Such grace, yet not elegance, simply enigma after enigma cladded on top of him. So simplistic to understand, yet so fierce in his own way. His eyes widen for a fraction of a second when he sticks his hands out, able to say the last few words of the night.

“I’m Jiho.”

She takes his hand, grasping it and saying her name while shaking it. It only takes a smile from him and a tug from her best friend to get some sort of grip of something else. Not only are his eyes hypnotizing, but his touch may as well have dug a hole in the ground and eaten her alive. His words are the roses that bloom around her, thorns and beauty at the same time when he says:

“I hope we get to see each other again.”

For this moment, however, when she is stepping out of the club with a drunken woman dragging her out, probably looking like a character of a badly written drama movie, she realizes that there is no way she could ever forget about the soft smile on his face, like he is too tired to give a proper grin…but it’s there, it’s engraved in her brain soon after. Eyes tender with pity, bottom lip jutting out, nose crinkling slightly and just something else behind his eyes—as if he is determined they’ll meet again. A promise.

A promise that is met weeks after, when the hunt for his number in between their group of friends translates into brief conversations, surely delving into longer ones.

She can’t even blink, then, afraid of missing the moment.

🛏️

Sometimes, or at all times, when he touches her it feels like nature exists inside her. It blooms, like whatever it is that she feels for him.

Stories to be told from his lips lack in their story, their nightly conversations through the phone coming to a close when they met again. Dinner and some bowling and then, she found herself trapped in his sheets, more like tangled, learning the space of his home as if it would show him more of him, more than she already knows. Everything is about music and disorganized, she wouldn’t be surprised if the pen he uses for songwriting ends up in the bed with them, as well, but that is something that erases from her brain from the moment she has him first, because there is not enough glory to describe what she feels when she realizes what a man like him can make her live through and how beautiful he looks when he stares at her like the whole universe is in her eyes and lips.

His hands almost always settle on her waist, he expands his fingertips until his thumb is at the upward curb of her ribcage, the rest in vertical position, making flowers bloom with his touch. Skin to skin contact makes her realize that she, sometimes, feels like she can’t breathe when around him, like every breath she takes is suddenly shortened by the pleasure or perhaps, the cloudy vision of having her right there with her, as if they are one in soul for a night. He doesn’t realize his lips are like a lake, relaxing when they press to her shoulder, when they kiss down the column of her neck and leave that tingling feeling that follows after a long day at the beach—like the waves are still moving around her. He doesn’t realize that his voice is the wind, barely audible, when he calls out her name or cusses under his breath. Her heart might as well be part of nature, too, with how she leans towards him and grips his face in between her hands, pressing his forehead to hers, wanting to learn him and understand him. Gravity is what she is, bringing him down with her in this spiral of sleeping together when they need the comfort of romantic relationships.

Him, who simply doesn’t have the time to date, whose relationships last as long as a season.

Her, whose mind has always been with hopeless romanticism and immense curiousness, a bad combination when she realizes just how mindless she can become when in love…or when hopeful, too.

No one realizes the melody of him when he gives a kiss to her lips, as if it is common for them to meet up every day and simply act domestic. This isn’t the case, of course. Jiho is always busy, always looking for a way to connect with more well-known artists to fulfill his misunderstood dream of being a producer, his degree and major resting somewhere in this apartment. And she is also busy, as well, up and coming as a teacher, strict and yet not taken into consideration—the younger you are, the less high school students will listen to you—, only leaving their nights free. Though, her night is his morning and her morning is his night. Even their schedules don’t meet, only fulfilling each other’s wishes physically and she knows this, but it’s difficult to remember it when his arm is resting under the weight of her neck, twisting until he has her pressed to his chest and a chaste kiss ends up on the crown of her head.

The worst part is when he lets her sleep in, when she gets to feel his hands resting on her shoulders, shaking her to live when her alarm is not enough of a reason to wake up. He becomes the view of the moon in an early morning, then, when he is clouding her vision with a hazy smile on his face. His face is puffy, cheeks more highlighted, lips redder and she wants to give him a kiss, but it seems far too personal, like they are exactly what they should not be—what he had claimed he did not wish for at the moment, and she had agreed. A couple, that sincere part of life that is both so raw, so delicate, so communicative and thrilling in a way.

“Your alarm has been going off for a while,” He says, though he is aware that there are still two hours left until her first class of the day starts. Students are rarely ever early; she had once told him. “Wake up.”

With her arms extending, hooking her fingers around the edges of the sheets and pulling them higher on her naked torso, she returns his grin. “Since when are you ever up before eleven in the morning?”

“I’m usually going to sleep at this hour. That’s why I’m up at eleven.” He tells her, gaining her attention when he stands up from the bed and it’s such an unusual sight that she is surprised to see him that way. She never stays, in this rendezvous of a few weeks she has always left out of pure normality, but now that she has stayed, she doesn’t regret it one bit.

Because there is no beauty that could match the sunshine hitting his chest, highlighting those tattoos that he never covers, his pride and soul. He sits by the edge of the bed when he loses a bit of his balance, still sleepy, the band of his boxers peeking from underneath his sweatpants. A black t-shirt is thrown over his body, fingers trailing on his hair to try to fix it, but he is unable to. One of his eyes closes at the few rays of sunshine that slip through his dark curtains, until he is turning around to look at her and catches her staring at him.

He must realize this is the type of situation she shouldn’t be involved in. That this, all of this, just exudes the type of romance he is unable to give her, but that she craves so much.

His hands expand on her leg, grabbing it and shaking it around a bit to wake her up. “Stop staring at me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

Because he looks gorgeous. Because, for once, she doesn’t see him for three hours, she gets to feel him for an entire night. For once, Jiho seems like he is not in a rush, like they are not simply two people trying to get off. What does that make them? Nothing, but she still holds on to this hope that has been filling her since the moment she met him three weeks ago. Of uncovering him and getting a taste of his soul. “You look hotter in the morning.”

“Do I?” He asks, voice ridden in sleep before he rests a kiss on top of her leg, just above the blanket.

“Kind of.”

His chuckle doesn’t leave him as noise, more like a mere breath through his nose before he grabs her foot playfully, dragging her out of the bed. “Let’s go get some coffee, come on. I’ll drop you off at your apartment complex.”

The blankets smell like him, though, like caffeine and that strong cologne he swears on. She wants to stay there, unable to remember that they are just friends with benefits, if not two people who are getting to know each other through their bodies and consequently, personality-wise. “I’m coming, just let go of my leg.”

His lips quirk up at that, teasing like he always is. “…Give me three seconds and I swear I am not going to laugh.”

“Holy shit, you’re dense.” She says, though he is much more confident than she is in the way he smiles, meanwhile she holds the sheets up her body, getting dressed underneath them in some way or another. He actually makes a comment about it.

“Why are you acting shy?”

“Because it’s the morning.”

“And?”

“Maybe, you won’t like me once the morning comes.” She says, battling with fixing the straps of her bra once she has put on her pants, soon after tugging her shirt over her body, securing it as well as she can before popping out from under the covers, letting out a sigh in between.

But he’s not a romantic, so with a hand reaching forward and her body nearing his enough for him to give her a short kiss, he says: “That’s not the case. Ever.”

Why is it that instead of butterflies, she feels ants inside her stomach, like they’ll prick her sometime?

This means nothing at all, right?

🛏️

She has a dream.

A dream in which his hand would stop cradling the side of his face, eyes trained in his laptop for the majority of his day and night, simply to hold hers. Even just for a while, for the most miniscule of moments. A dream in which she doesn’t get home to an empty spot and a text that invites her to come over in the weekend, but instead, she would have someone to welcome her with open arms. She’s not getting younger here and the idea of finding true, comforting, safe love has been sounding more appealing nowadays. Be gone the playing-pretend nights to flirt with whoever caught her attention, all she can ever wish is for some affection. The stuttered words, the soft caresses, the promises of another kiss, a trip, a house, whatever it is that people wish for when in love.

The vulnerability of loving is such a curse, so damned that it clings to her when she is by his side…or even when she is far away. She dreams that one day his eyes are not casted around their group of friends, that their connection does not only belong to the texts exchanged between the two, the kisses that mean nothing to him but start to mean the world to her. It goes too fast, like turning around would make her dizzy but staring ahead is cloudy, foggy, she can’t even notice where she is heading to anymore. Love, it is not. Even there, when Jiho is seated right in front of her, it seems like he is living in an entire different world, like he doesn’t recall the conversation they had earlier in the morning about the article in the newspaper he is reading or how they had to pretend not to have gotten together there in the first place.

Once upon a time, the café had been packed…but now in its utter loneliness, she realizes how their story isn’t special. God, how many people actually fall in love…two people, not only one. How many people have sex in a day, and still don’t feel that emotional connection that she is developing right at this moment? Hundreds. This is not a world cut for her to complain about and whine for, simply because love is not a necessity. Perhaps, her brain should be focused on running errands, paying taxes, feeling like a whole human again, like going to bed doesn’t consist of waiting for his text…or simply wanting him to call her because having him is a dream on itself.

It’s difficult to see his lips wrap at the edge of the coffee mug, stained in red from the heat, equally as blossomed as to when he kisses her with fervor, like he needs her to breathe. This is what her friends told her about romance—you seek for it when you feel your emptiest, you get it when you are your fullest. In hopes of littering her life with hope, butterflies, emotion, rendezvouses to remember and experiences to taste in the back of her tongue when she is older, she met Jiho. In the time she was the unhappiest with her job, with her life, with how boring and routine-like everything was. Then, when she has him, she wants all of him. She desires for more than the god she meets on the sheets, she wants the man that rather of stripping himself of his clothes, sheds layers and layers of stories, of disappointments and newfound hope. Sometimes, she just needs that connection, instead of writing a story out of pure observation.

He looks at her briefly, not even quirking one of his eyebrows, but he is amused. His ring fingernail is coated in black, something that she did when he asked her to late at night a few weeks ago, and now it’s fading. Like him. Like what she looks for in a love affair.

The first one to coo is their mutual friend, Jeffrey, digging his elbow on the side of her body as he looks in between the two. “What is this stare-off about? Anything happening that we don’t know about?”

She actually wakes up from the dutiful call of liking him from afar, silently, and yet so closely to look at Jeffrey, the smirk on his face speaking wonders, definitely like a wolf looking for its prey. Not that he is anything of the kind, Jeffrey is probably the blandest person when it comes to life, but he is happy—he didn’t have to seek for someone else to love him, but rather enjoys the fulfillment he gets from his own work. “Ah…” She trails her voice…and the pettiness of this feeling comes through when she wonders what would happen if she would speak out on this that has been going for a month. A month in which she has only imagined so much, yet felt like a whirlwind.

“Not really, we’re just…you know, remembering something.” Jiho indicates, a better liar than she could be and only in her dreams he would say something more romantic, instead of nudging her calf under the table, two taps and this glint on his eyes telling her to continue with his lie.

Though, their mutual friends don’t let go of this, now a girlish voice filling the air. “Remembering what?”

She would be lying if she didn’t say she remembered a lot about him, about what they have lived together, the glances he gives her like she means something before suddenly dropping her in the reality that this is just a timely matter. For now. He lives in the present, she wants to venture into the future—into meaningful things. “Ah…we met up in the way here and we were talking about that same article.” She points out, using her finger to point at the newspaper before she brought her own drink up her lips, trying to cover the utter embarrassment from her face.

Maybe, she is not the only one.

Jiho is embarrassed of whatever they have, as fleeting as it can be, as physical as it can get, as nameless as it is.

“We were talking about how…you know, Jiho has some different ideas than the ones stated about music. Everything is about sales right now, and about standard, I think we…” When she looks at him, it’s like what she is saying is starting to become a reality. Maybe, friends with benefits—like he had called it from the beginning—is more like it. The benefit of loving him would never come, of learning how to do it more-so. They are friends. Friends who fulfill desires for the other. “We agreed on that. I think he’s an excellent producer and he’s not getting as much attention. A music degree can only do so much if you don’t have the right connections.”

Jeffrey nods at that, patting his hand against the surface of the table to highlight his words. “But he’s gonna get far. I can feel it!”

Jiho chuckles at that, bottom lip jutting out like it always does. “It’s either that or being a music teacher.”

“For a moment or two I thought you guys were onto something,” Jeffrey says, a big smile appearing on his face. “You’d make a cute couple.”

She doesn’t know what to say, because listening is fueling her hope. Hope of something that is completely irrational. “…Nah, I don’t think I am ready for a relationship. I don’t have time for it.” Jiho finishes, taking another quick sip of his coffee before nodding at her. “Don’t you agree?”

She has a dream that, one day, she will be able to tell him what she feels only to get that dignified rejection. Maybe then she’d understand that love is not a game that starts with only one person running, only to have someone else walking steps behind them. Other part of her dreams that Jiho realizes that falling, in love or in life, is never a wrong step forward. It’s learning. It’s growth. It’s anything she can hope from him simply because…life has put this thought into her head, this stubbornness that keeps her moving forward, because having him is having him, even if it’s only physically.

Even if she knows it will never get far.

“I think…things happen at the pace they need to happen.” She argues, earning a quirked eyebrow from Jiho, whose gaze parts at the same speed that she says that. “But I also don’t know. Life is strange, anything could happen.”

Jeffrey hums at that. “More of a reason for me to believe something could have happened,” As observant as always, he adds. “But…you’re right. It’s probably just a story I made up in my head. It would be impossible for the two of you to get together, after all.”

Impossible, and yet she dreams of it, like she feels something special could happen simply from getting a title to this. Maybe, enough flowers had bloomed inside her to make her feel sick…or perhaps, this is the irrational part of her that is trying to grow a garden out of pure dust.

She has a dream. A dream in which someone falls for her, like the way she has always wanted to be fallen for, but maybe Jiho is not the starring role or the lead. Maybe, that dream is soon to be turned into a nightmare if she keeps looking for him.

🛏️

How is the sound of romance?

It’s in the creaking of wood when one person steps closer, in the ruffling of fabric when tattooed arms wrap around her waist, in the comfort of her sigh that leaves his lips when his chin rests on her shoulder, one of the few times in which they can be found together in her apartment and not his. It’s in the sound of his lips pressing to her shoulder, then the side of her neck, her cheek and finally her temple, one of the few times he’s staying, too, she recalls now. It’s in the whisper he lets out when he tells her that they should head to sleep, even when she is buzzed enough to want to read a book, get lost in a story that is not the one they have been living in the past three months.

She needs to read about real matters—history, women of power, fighting for rights. She needs to read fiction stories, of science or thrillers. She aches to feel something that is not love, but for that night, she lets him decide. She wraps her arms around his waist, cages her face against his chest and closes her eyes so tightly, though unnoticed by him, that she could have sworn she would have sighed out loud had she done otherwise. It’s in the comfort of him, in his deep breathing, in his accommodated sleeping schedule ever since they became infamous friends with benefits. It’s in the little voice that tells her ‘give him time, he’s going to fall for you’.

He never does.

He never will.

The knowledge comes easily to her in another night, this time he has dressed himself to leave, coat draped over his shoulders, dark hair ruffled by her own hands in the past. She is just following him as he moves through the place, looking for his damned socks and she hopes he never finds them, too. For a moment, he stops in front of the bookshelf, the one that she is so proud of and the apartment is filled with joy when he chuckles loudly, taking the socks in between his fingers from the top of one of the books.

“How did these get here?” He asks, lifting one foot to put the sock on, then the other. His cheeks are so filled with happiness, his eyes, too, and she is contented of making him feel that something he said to be lacking these days. What he doesn’t realize, though, too enchanted by this new part of his life is that this is draining her. It’s her fault, she doesn’t say anything, figuring out that this is the way people love these days. With her arms crossed over her chest, the cotton fabric of her shirt touching the skin, she realizes that this is a learning experience from Jiho. One day, when he has sufficiently progressed in his career, he may remember her while making a beat or the other. Hell, he may not even remember her at all, but something could have been brought out of this…that muses exist, maybe, and he is one for her.

“I don’t know,” She utters, voice at a low for some reason. “You’re the one that gets freaky sometimes.”

“I am the one that gets freaky?” Jiho asks, looking at the bookshelf with interest and taking out the big book that the socks had been on. “You were the one that insisted on staying here.”

“I wasn’t the one that took off your socks.”

Though, there is a bit of cheekiness in his voice when he looks at her from the corner of his eyes and grins. “Well, you took off the rest. May as well be your fault.”

“I just missed you.” She admits, but she tries not to let the sentence linger on the space too much, afraid that it sounds like what it really is: that she loves him. “How is that job hunt going, by the way?”

A big sigh leaves his lips, aware of the real world that is outside their physical connection, their nightly meetings. Jiho’s dream is fleeting away and it is such a familiar feeling. Hers is going away in person, in feelings. His is simply turning somber. “I haven’t really gotten any calls, but what else am I supposed to do?” He asks, flipping the first page of the book to look at its contents. “Nothing I compose ever gets sold. It was bound for me to give up.”

“I would say to give it time,” Because that is her answer for everything, as if patience is a virtue, as if waiting for him to love her is not enough of a headache. She gets close to him, fixing the bent collar of his coat. “You have talent, Jiho, more than you could ever imagine—”

“Talent doesn’t sell.”

“Then what does?”

“I have no idea. If I knew, I would be big already.” He answers, bitter when the lid of the book closes harshly, just like his plump lips do when he turns to look at her and speaks in the softest of voices. “Thank you, though, for believing in me.” Jiho says. “I would have thought, given that you’re my fuckbuddy, that you wouldn’t really care about anything else.”

“Hey, I care about you.” She whispers, making him sigh.

“Why?”

He never looks at himself in the mornings, when he can barely open his eyes and he speaks about the most mundane of things. He has never seen the thrill in his voice when he talks about music, or when he is silent about it and yet, his passion is still palpable. He hasn’t heard his lame jokes, neither has he been there to feel his arms wrap around her, hugging her tightly with a kiss on her forehead, like sex is just a word and they go past that. It’s stupid, it’s so cheesy she feels like she has changed entirely, but that’s not the case. It’s a sensible person loving someone not only with their soul, but with their entire body. “I just do.”

“You don’t just do shit.” Jiho indicates, like he has studied her, too. “You find meaning to everything. Smart, really, maybe a bit wasteful, but smart.”

Tracing the outline of his bottom lip with her finger, she leans forward to place a soft kiss to the surface. “Because you’re you.” His eyes flutter at that, scanning her face up and down when she smiles softly, though her teeth do not show. “And you’re one of the most special people in my life.”

He is probably thinking about running away from now on, but instead, he taps his fingers against the surface of the book. “…I see,” is all he can manage to say before nodding his head. “I’ll take this book with me, alright?”

“You don’t like reading all that much.”

Shrugging, he says: “If my sock ended up there, I guess it’s a sign from life I must do different things.”

Perhaps, there are a million signs of life telling her to easily forget the existence of Woo Jiho. She never listened. “Alright, don’t forget to give it back.”

“I will.” Jiho says, now walking towards the door before looking at her from over his shoulder. She nears him, trying to give him a goodbye kiss when he moves his face to the side, her lips ending up on his cheek. “I had a great time.”

Though, it feels like something has shifted when she looks into his eyes, only to realize that his straightforwardness is there. It’s a silent reminder, a contract that shows that nothing else must be happening in between the two, so with a push of her body to give a few steps back, she continues to shelter her own heart with her arms crossed.

“I’ll see you again when I have time.” Trying to take the reins of the situation, she answers, though she doesn’t even get as much of a reaction from him, who simply hums before mumbling his goodbyes.

She has already accepted he will never love her…

If so, is she happy with the arrangement they have?

🛏️

He will never love her more than music, than the mere spectrum of art, even. Never more welcomed than the tune of his favorite song, than the sound of drums in a beat or even the bass. That bond for him goes as profound as the tissues in his body, like it can never leave him, hard working or perhaps ambitious, if not both. It’s the type of love that is difficult, the one that shows her that if he really wanted something serious, he would try his hardest. Perhaps, like he says, he doesn’t have time or he doesn’t even give himself the time to love.

He will never love her more than his favorite movies when he was a child, much less will he love her more than the communication of images and film. She doesn’t blame him for this, either, but what she blames him for is continuing this when in reality, she loves him more than most of the mundane things that have lived with her for the entirety of her life. It’s her fault, to fill the void of her life with something intriguing only to be more and more ambitious, wishing for more of him, gripping what she could have never reached, and now she can’t get enough. Life could coexist without him, but what’s the fun in not having him, in not laughing in the middle of the night or feeling his fleeting kisses on her collarbone?

She has learned that she feels the most alive when with him, for some reason, and the most lifeless at the same time. It’s what she wants, but what her friends would tell her not to do if only they knew. What’s the point of falling if no one is going to catch you? More so, what’s the point of loving if someone will never do such thing? She has hope, in the way his brown eyes flutter after he kisses her, licking his bottom lip and biting on it only to release a soft sigh.

Her arms are wrapped around his shoulders and yet, she brings him closer to her by dragging her legs over his waist and pulling him down. Jiho’s arm spreads by her side, moving a few hairs away from her face when she smiles up at him, but she doesn’t receive the same smile.

“Don’t kiss me like that.” He tells her, though in his voice she can’t catch a command, rather it’s filled with pity…or guilt, more like remorse. Yes, that’s exactly what he is dropping in his tone.

“Like what?” She asks breathlessly, hands raking over his chest, unable to feel all of him and yet, filling so full with love.

“Like you love me.”

She should have known he would have realized, four months of gazes that were never returned, weighty words and conversations that had pulled her closer to him but perhaps, pushed him away as well. Her lips press together, trying to find the perfect words only to come up with nothing. “…But I can’t kiss you any other way.”

“We said not to fall in love, though.”

“…It’s difficult when you’re here, Jiho. Of course I would have fallen for you.” She murmurs, aware that Jiho is always more intelligent than he makes himself out to be—he’s perceptive, of course he would have realized this. He moves to sit on the back of his thighs, running his fingers through his hair as he looks anywhere but at her face. “Jiho…just—I tried, I really tried not to fall for you, but it’s difficult when you are the only person I have been with for the past months and we have talked and I really liked you from—”

“I expected you to say it wasn’t like that, though.” He says, lifting his gaze like he has done plenty of times, like the stolen glances when they are out with their friends. “It’s not that I couldn’t fall for you, it’s just that I don’t have time—”

“…You do have time. You can make time if you put your mind into it!”

“You don’t deserve to get two hours out of my day. Like, get some priorities for yourself!” Jiho’s voice breaks slightly, hands spreading on top of his thighs. “I can’t fall for you. I won’t, I believe. I’m not letting myself because a relationship is not what I want right now.”

She knew this, like she knew the words of the book he never returned—her favorite. Her arms reach for him, hugging him tightly in hopes he doesn’t realize there are tears escaping her eyes, like a child that didn’t get the toy they had been pleading for, for the longest time. “I know.” She whispers, resting a kiss on his chest, as if that will be able to reach him and fill him with the same adoring, yet unrequited feeling that has been blossoming inside her. “…Then, I won’t love you anymore. It’s okay.”

His hands spread over her waist, thus right now it feels like the garden inside her is dying. “Sh, sh…” He tries to soothe. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Y—You can feel that. It’s better if you don’t love me—”

But it’s not as easy as he makes it seem. “But I can’t see you anymore.”

“If that helps you…we won’t see each other anymore, really. I don’t want to—” She tugs at his body, because leaving him is also not the option she had desired for, but it’s the only one that will help her disconnect from him. His fingertips rake over her back, gripping at her soul if he wanted to. “Hey, stop crying. Why are you crying?”

“I’m not,” She tries to toughen up, but it’s to no avail.

“Show me your face, come on.” He tells her, but when he tries to pull her body away, she only clings closer to him, hiding her face on his chest. “Alright, no will do…”

“I’m sorry.”

“I should be the one who is sorry.” He mumbles. “I knew you liked me, but I never stopped you. God, I didn’t know it would hurt you this bad.” Jiho’s rambling at this point, something that is unexpected from him. “I’m a troublemaker. Really, don’t you dare cry because of me. It’s awkward, and ah…I don’t know, just don’t do this because of a guy like me.”

Covering her face with her hands, she pulls away from him, trying to stop the movement of her shoulders with each sob, inaudible at most. “It’s okay…it’s my fault.” She tries to let out, only to have Jiho lowering his face, trying to look through the cracks of her fingers.

“It’s not. It’s both our faults.” Jiho says. “I won’t leave until you stop crying.”

“Please, don’t.” She uncovers her face, aware of how puffy her face must be, how tears are running down her face. “Please, just…just leave for good. Don’t…don’t come back if you’re just going to keep blaming it on you. I know I did wrong, too. You were direct with me from the beginning—” She cuts herself off, dragging her forearm across her face to wipe her tears. “Just…leave.”

It only takes minutes to hear the sound of the door closing, the same one that had welcomed him hundreds of times. It takes minutes for him to say his last goodbye, as if it never meant anything…and maybe, it meant everything. Some loves are just meant to not bloom, to be lessons of letting go and respect, towards one-self or to destiny, she doesn’t know. Some tears are meant to be cried, to be let out, simply to heal again.

Some loves are stronger than the one he had for music, than the one he could ever feel for his bed or for the snooze button of his alarm. Stronger than nights out with his friends and alcohol to be had, as well as memories to unveil. Hopefully, that is the love she now feels for her strength, more than any person could ever take.

#zico scenarios #zico #block b scenarios #block b #kpop scenarios #writing #block b au #block b fluff #block b angst #zico au #zico fluff #zico angst #unrequited love!au #i like this one idk why

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homenum-revelio-hq · 4 years

Photo

Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Gina!

You have been accepted for the role of SEVERUS SNAPE with the faceclaim change of Aneurin Barnard! We really enjoyed Severus’ ambiguous motivations that might come back to bite him in the butt later on! Your personality section was on point and we’re looking forward to having the resent grump come back to the Order. We are so excited to have you as part of this roleplay!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Gina

AGE: 25

TIMEZONE: MST-Arizona

ACTIVITY LEVEL: First and foremost, I’m a promotions producer at a local news station, so I’m on call if breaking news happens. Thankfully, for my job, doesn’t happen too often. Also, my boss is currently on maternity leave, but will be back mid-March. In the meantime, I’ve been given a lot of extra tasks that sometimes make me work 60 hour weeks. Luckily, The Academy Awards was one of our biggest nights with deadlines, news, etc., so things have somewhat calmed down. Thank goodness! Weekends are usually when I’m on the most. I’ll try to get on during the week – especially on my early days. All that being said, I’ll definitely will be able to post at least once a week! As long as writing is still fun, and doesn’t feel like a chore, I’ll be on the dash frequently (and I’m very good about keeping admins informed if there’s ever going to be an issue with activity check)!

ANYTHING ELSE: trigger: non-con.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Severus Snape

AGE: 21

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis-Male, He/Him, Heterosexual.

BLOOD STATUS: Halfblood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Slytherin

ANY CHANGES: Request FC change: Aneurin Barnard. I can see Adam Driver work as well. Either way, I am comfortable - just happen to have more resources of Aneurin.

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Generally, Severus is seen rather than heard.

The mind of Severus Snape is complex – to be sure. Filled with calculations, fragile threads of truths and lies he’s told and webbing them all together, and innovations for many different forms of magic. To keep all of these thoughts collected, Severus keeps a journal that he has heavily bound to keep secret. There, he states the deepest parts of his soul, creates new potions, spells, and whatever else he deems worthy. It is protected by a blood spell that only he knows the enchantment to. Like him, everything is kept very private and close to his chest.

While Severus has plenty of thoughts coursing through his brilliant mind, he does not initiate conversation. In fact, he says much more with his eyes. Even if they can be cold. However, this does not mean Severus will keep silent – nor is it out of shyness. When Snape graces others with his opinions or ideas, they should not be taken lightly. Every single word uttered has meaning.

Being around Death Eaters and the Dark Lord, he’s kept a keen eye – finding everyone’s tells and when it is best for him to speak his true sentiments. As well as this, if he feels provoked or given an opportunity to speak freely, he will not cower. Often, his retorts have a bite to them, thick with sarcasm or bitterness; or both.

Severus Snape is profound in potions – and dare we say even more skilled in the Dark Arts. Books were a comfort for him growing up, finding company with leather-bound pages and becoming well-versed in their contents. A strength he chooses not to boast about is his ability to create new spells, new magic, even. Most of these, however, were being saved to get a slight revenge over his old school enemies. And therein lies the rub. Snape’s insecurities are tightly bound to Hogwarts and being bullied – not to mention his inability to reveal his true feelings toward the one girl who showed him kindness all those years.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

A broken family. That was the home of Tobias Snape and Eileen Prince.

A Muggle father and a Pureblood mother. Such parents didn’t give Severus an opinion on blood purity – but rather if an individual could prove themselves. While his parents may have had married for love at some point, something shifted their feelings.

For Snape’s father, nothing seemed to please him. Except for, perhaps, a bottle of gin. This instilled a primal instinct for Severus to do better; be better. Strive for power.

As for Snape’s mother, she grew sickly and thin. Her grief taught him empathy. It also made him value any comfort; starving for any sort of love and affection. This was, most likely, the cause for Severus’ immediate interest in Lily Evans – and the roots of his near-obsession with her.

Both of his parents were unhappy, and let it affect both their home and their son. Living near-destitution, the Snape house was filled with hateful words, arguments, loud shattering of priceless heirlooms or objects, and other things that still haunt Severus to this day. When thinking back on his past, Severus prefers the memories of when they both neglected him altogether, rather than any other aspects of his upbringing.

OCCUPATION:

Potions Apprentice to Professor Slughorn.

Invaluable to the Dark Lord, the talents of Severus Snape brought him closer to his inner circle. For Voldemort, it also meant he could manipulate the young man’s talents to foil any plots that the Order may have against him. Knowing his passion for potions, Voldemort encouraged Snape to take on an apprenticeship with Professor Slughorn – while also peeking behind the curtain at Hogwarts and keeping an eye on the Headmaster.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

**I read the following note: “Severus will not be in the plotline until a player is accepted in his role. Him turning on the Death Eaters and coming to the Order as a spy will be considered a “roulette” plot drop whenever he becomes a taken character. Until that happens, players should write as though he is not yet in the Order.” AND he plot drops, *so I’m writing him as if he’s newly joined the Order at first as a DE spy, but now as a means to win Lily’s friendship back. 😊

Walking a thin line between hero and villain had never once crossed Severus’ mind. Yet, here he was. An Order member. At first, in a plot for the Dark Lord, carrying out the order to spy on the organization; find out how it could crumble. The young wizard had already grown steadily in their ranks, garnered enough trust, and was even listening to Voldemort’s other requests like his employment. All for the sake of war. It was a task daunting enough for anyone; however, Severus knew pretending to be an Order member would bring him closer to Lily. That, and potentially erase any suspicions Frank Longbottom might have if he thought he saw the Slytherin’s face during the arrest. At first, it was all an act.

Now, within the Order, Severus is a black sheep. Many of his childhood bullies are within their ranks, and many who distrust him. Although, with Severus’ lust for power, proving himself is nothing new to him. In fact, he thrives on it. No more fighting behind a mask…watching those he cares for nearly meet their end. An easy task to spy, being a great reader of both people and their minds. However, an overwhelmingly difficult task to want to continue fighting for something he didn’t believe in. Not that he believes in the Order either, but his lust for power has now been overcome with a desperate need to win an old friendship back. Perhaps to take Lily Evans far away from any wars as well, forgetting the two sides; no more choosing between what is right, and what is easy. Severus faces this new challenge, while fighting off those he once stood beside. For now, he’ll leave it to fate – if he’s able to win Lily’s friendship back. Maybe even try and win her heart as well.

SURVIVAL:

Severus Snape survives purely relying on his skills – and providing them to whichever side he feels is winning. It was part of the reason why he joined the Death Easters in the first place. Unfortunately for the Order, Snape believes the Dark Lord will win; that they will fall – and not rise from the ashes, as their namesake. A lust for power has blinded him most of all. But with it, he’s earned the trust of Voldemort, become invaluable. A faithful servant. Once the war s over, Severus believes he will be rewarded for his acts. At least, as long as he continues to do his bidding…

While with the Order, Severus has taken up housing in Hogwarts during the school year under his apprenticeship with Slughorn. During the summers, he’s found a small flat down near Hogsmeade to keep close enough. Beforehand, he often stayed with Lucius Malfoy in their incredibly large manor. It made it easy to stay near his comrades and to carry out any dark deeds.

Until there seems to be a clear winner, Severus will carry out his work as a spy. Even if it means slightly changing sides to do it as time goes on. The skills he carries with Occlumency are not to be trifled with. It seems he’s one of the few to have mastered such magic, making him the perfect soldier for espionage.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Severus’ relationship with Lily Evans was broken long ago. However, he will try and make peace with her, at the very least. If they rekindle their friendship, Severus would likely switch sides; happily die for her and prove himself. If it blossomed even more (something he fears even daydreaming about will jinx it), Severus would give up everything with the Dark Lord and his following. Everything with the Order. All to be with her – away from the rotting parts of the Wizarding World.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS:

Ships: Snape/Lily & Snape/Chemistry.

Anti-Ships: None

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Having gone through a very traumatic animalistic incident in his years at Hogwarts, Severus has a large bias against werewolves. The whole experience left a nasty memory for him, left in complete shock and disagreement with Dumbledore. And having Fenrir Greyback at the Dark Lord’s disposal certainly didn’t make matters any better.

There is one thing that will never chance for Severus Snape, and that is his hatred and bitterness towards certain Gryffindor boys he now has to work with in the Order. The thought alone makes his blood boil and skin crawl. Yet, he will do what he must for his cause…and maybe even throw in a snide remark or two every so often.

Muggleborns are something of a mystery to Snape now. When he first met Lily, he thought she was different from any other one – slumping the rest together with the likes of his father. Although seeing how fierce Dorcas has become – and so well integrated with the Wizarding World – Severus has gained a new understanding. Of course, he’s still untrusting, at first, and even a little cold; but, that doesn’t mean his mind cannot be changed.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

Jess and I were talking because I’ve been itching to write again. She linked me to the RP, and there was a spark to my muse once more! Had to apply because I love the Wizarding World and exploring it. This is an interesting take on the Marauders era, in that it’s concentrating on one organization and its inner workings. I’m excited to explore that!

PLOT DROP IDEAS:

There was a head cannon I had once read where Irma Prince is actually Severus’ mother in disguise. That might be something to play around with! Perhaps to prove his loyalties to the Dark Lord, he must eliminate his parents. Instead of this, Severus uses his connections to hide her as the librarian at Hogwarts and keep her safe.

ANYTHING ELSE? Super excited to be applying! 😊

#homenumaccepted #harry potter rpg #harry potter rp #marauder rp #Marauders RP

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mshelenahandbag · 7 years

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Best of ‘17 — TV

This year’s best include a wide variety: historical recreations of Hollywood, a fantasy medieval world on the brink of all out war, two separate shows with drag queens, the secret lives of soccer moms, a revival 25 years in the making, a documentary about America’s greatest shame and an Emmy-winning adaptation of a book hitting a little too close to home.

Honorable Mention: Scandal (ABC)

Shonda Rhimes finally got her damn groove back. After watching The Catch and Still Star-Crossed fizzle out and a less-than-stellar third season of How To Get Away With Murder, Shonda’s flagship Scandal was back on track after two seasons of stagnant WTF-dom. Season six brought us back into the world of Olivia Pope with a bang when president-elect Frankie Vargas is assassinated. And it just gets crazy in the best way possible from there. We really get a glimpse again of the Olivia we all have loved since the first season and probably the best performances to date for Bellamy Young as Mellie Grant and Darby Stanchfield as Abby. And with Shonda announcing season seven will be the show’s last, this season could have served as its conclusion, but now we get to see Shonda’s gloves off for this final season with nothing held back, and a darker Olivia Pope with no white hat, now running B-613.

Outstanding Episode: “Trojan Horse” (Original airdate: 4/20/2017)

Mellie’s future to the White House is suddenly in doubt when Cyrus is pardoned for Frankie’s assassination and makes his pwn play for the White House, despite a massive campaign against him. Olivia wants to help Cyrus, even as her father warns her not to, for so many reasons, the biggest of which remains the shadow cabal who arranged for Frankie’s assassination and Mellie’s eventual win. The meat of this episode comes when Mellie meets her unexpected benefactors, Plus and Ruland, who she tries to threaten, only for Ruland to off her chief of staff, Elizabeth North (Portia de Rossi) via a golf club to the skull. Mellie is broken down and a total pawn for whatever they want to her to do. Elsewhere, Fitz breaks it off with his girlfriend, the FBI director, who pushes for Rowan’s arrest, which Fitz has already done, for his protection. Fitz and Olivia FINALLY get back together as everyone gets ready to take the shadowy organization down once and for all.

Honorable Mention: American Horror Story: Cult (FX)

I was not expecting to put this back on my best of list. Roanoke was disappointing in so many aspects. So when season seven was announced, and a theme element of the 2016 election announced, I was already ready to tune out. But something about this season is a brilliant commentary on our hive mind ideology of democrat vs republican, liberal v conservative, etc. It’s also just flat out scary. We see the lives of a lesbian couple Ally (Paulson) and Ivy (Alison Pill) as they adjust to the post-election realities, especially since Ally is damn near afraid of everything. We also meet the charismatic Kai Anderson (Evan Peters in his best AHS role to date) - a cult leader who seems to be able to read his followers and get exactly what he wants out of them. Unlike the prior six seasons, there’s nothing supernatural here, it’s all things that, could, can and have happened in the last year. What I love is that the show is not just skewed to show the evils of the alt-right, we see the exaggeration on both sides. And yet it’s still got its funny moments (“lesbians we’re under attack”) and true terror. I was ready to dismiss this season but it has truly become the show’s best since its inaugural season.

Outstanding Episode: “Drink the Kool-Aid” (Original airdate: 10/31/2017)

First off, props to Evan Peters. He played not only his role of Kai, but four additional roles in this one episode. In a massive flashback tapestry we see Peters’ Kai tell the stories of the Branch-Davidians (Peters playing David Koresh), Heaven’s Gate (Peters playing Marshall Applewhite) and finally the People’s Temple (Peters playing Jim Jones and later Jesus in a lie Kai tells his cult about Jones’s fate). Through these stories we see how Kai has managed to shape his own cult from the past and learn from what has worked and what hasn’t. Kai announces his intent to run for Senate but also forces his cult members to truly declare that they would do anything for him in the times to come. So he brings the men and women together and has them literally drink the kool-aid. The men do it willingly, the women at gunpoint, all nervous about sacrificing themselves only for Kai to reveal there was nothing in the drink. The sheer terror at so many of those involved in this scene truly sell its horror (special shoutout goes to Adina Porter’s Beverly Johnson for finally cracking amid her to-date strength). The other standout is the “B plot” as it seems all is well again with Ally and Ivy - as Ally explains that she has conquered her phobias by using her energy on getting revenge. So, yeah, Ally has poisoned her wife’s wine and pasta as revenge for institutionalizing her. And then she plays her next card deftly forging donor records that claim Kai is her son’s father. Sarah Paulson continues to be the show’s MVP every year because her range shows so many different sides every time. In this one episode Ally stops being a victim and starts to plot her way out of the cult, and taking Kai down with her.

10) Game of Thrones (HBO)

Winter has finally arrived in Westeros and shit just hits the fan from here on out. Even with a HUGE threat to the entire region from the White Walkers, we watch as Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) FINALLY lands on her home soil and proceeds to try and make her claim for the Iron Throne. Cersei (Lena Headey) allies with Euron Greyjoy to cement her hold on the Seven Kingdoms; in the North, Sansa (Sophie Turner) tries to keep things together while Littlefinger (Aiden Gillen) schemes. Basically we get a season’s worth of plot in seven episodes, and they all were so fantastic. Lots of action, but for the final season I want Benioff and Weiss to remember their prior six seasons had far better writings and less contrived coincidences. But the stage is set for a truly epic finale that will determine once and for all who will hold the Iron Throne…if the White Walkers don’t kill everyone first.

Outstanding Episode: The Queen’s Justice (Original airdate: 7/30/2017)

The long-awaited meeting between Dany and Jon Snow (Kit Harrington) is just one of the many highlights of this episode. We see Dany overtly trying to get Jon to “bend the knee”in fealty to her. Jon tries to convince Daenerys to abandon her quest for the Throne and aid their fight against the White Walkers. It’s a very frosty exchange between the two, and it looks like the alliance we all want may not actually be happening. Cersei enacts her revenge on Ellaria Sand (Indira Varma) for murdering her daughter Myrcella. The scene excels with a beautiful monologue performed by Headey where you see Cersei’s pain and anger. You might hate her like I do, but there’s times like this, you can’t say you’d do the same for your child. Cersei kisses Ellaria’s daughter Tyene with the same poison they used on Myrcella, and forces the guards to keep her eyes open so she can watch her die. Tyrion, meanwhile, gives Dany an inside scope of where to attack to let Cersei know about their presence: the Lannister stronghold of Casterly Rock. The Unsullied take the castle with little resistance, only to learn that Lannister forces have marched on Highgarden and taken it, and with it, Targaryen ally Olenna Tyrell (Diana Rigg). Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and Olenna have probably one of the most epic scenes in series history. Olenna takes her fate - death by poison - as she has everything in the series, with her trademark wit and devil may care attitude. She flat-out tells Jaime she arranged Joffrey’s death and that she wants Cersei to know it was her. Diana Rigg’s performance in the series and this final episode are just one of the many things I’ve loved about Olenna and was so heartbroken when her time was up.

9) Feud: Bette and Joan (FX)

Ryan Murphy continues a streak on FX that translates into brilliance…as long as he isn't the sole writer. We’ve all known about this infamous feud between Hollywood legends Bette Davis and Joan Crawford that exploded during the filming of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. This new series from Murphy really highlights the sexism of Hollywood, the way the two stars were baited against each other and the lasting effect it left on the two of them. This is just a star vehicle of excellence for both Jessica Lange’s Crawford - obsessive, scheming, paranoid but refined and Susan Sarandon’s Davis - witty, shrewd and blunt. The supporting players like Alfred Molina’s Robert Aldrich and Stanley Tucci’s Jack Warner all help support them (but special note given to Jackie Hoffman’s Mamacita, Crawford’s long suffering and lovely maid, and Judy Davis’s pitch-perfect portrayal of gossip columnist Hedda Hopper) but it’s just a tour-de-force from both leading ladies. You almost feel pulled in both directions on who to root for: Crawford or Davis, but the end result shows how Hollywood works. One day you’re the talk of the town, the next you can't even get arrested and make the papers. Brilliant work!

Outstanding Episode: And The Winner Is-The Oscars of 1963 (Original airdate: 4/2/2017)

After Joan is denied a nomination for her work on Baby Jane, she and Hedda set out to ensure that Bette’s nomination is not going to get her a win. Crawford makes the rounds with the other nominees, convincing Geraldine Page (Sarah Paulson in a brief cameo) and Anne Bancroft to not attend the ceremony and allow her (Crawford, that is) to accept the award on their behalf if they win. Hedda, meanwhile, buries Bette with the Academy and the press with stories from the set of Baby Jane, some true and some not. Oscar night comes and Jessica Lange’s Crawford is in a full tour-de-force of rubbing it in. She presents the Oscar she is slated to, then in a brilliant tracking shot, goes backstage and gets ready for the Best Actress category. When Anne Bancroft wins, seeing Sarandon portray Bette’s heartbreak as Lange’s Crawford struts past, victorious, is the high point of this beautiful series.

8) The Boulet Brothers’ DRAGULA: The Search for The Next Drag Supermonster (YouTube)

This series has upped its game in a big way for 2017. After a very cool and very punk season one (voted one of the best year by IMDB), season two took off like a rocket. Bigger budget, bigger guest judges, more intense extermination challenges and a cast that spans the country. The Boulet Brothers have definitely made their little-series-that-could into the little-series-that-IS. We’ve upped the game, and these queens want to truly show the world they’re the next supermonster, whether it’s fashionable yet fierce Abhorra, the completely wacky Disasterina or the cosplay-themed-yet-fierce Erika Klash. This cast brought it and made this show even better, and that’s before you factor in how bigger the show got in a year. With the Boulets saying that anyone can audition, we may have something to answer the call for those who don’t fit the mold for other drag TV competition series. And that’s a good thing!

Outstanding Episode: Episode Three (Original airdate: 11/14/2017)

My fav on season two was Biqtch Puddin, and I’m 100 percent biased because she’s my sister. And she had a rough start to her run on Dragula - a misunderstood outfit week one and a low performance week two that led her to face her first extermination challenge. Going into week three, the Boulets wanted to give Biqtch a challenge, so in announcing the rock band challenge, both Victoria Elizabeth Black (the winner of the challenge) and Biqtch (who had performed low beyond the Boulets’ expectations) were given the role of lead singer for the two groups’ rock bands. And BIQTCH. TURNED. IT. OUT. For one she was the only contestant to turn out big ‘80s rock hair, and her outfit was a loving tribute to Pete Burns, glam rock and more. Her performance as lead singer, along with her entire group’s synchronicity boosted them to the top and gave Biqtch a much needed win after two low weeks. She really did it and I was so happy to see that. In general this week was a great episode: fun challenge, lots of tributes to punk and grunge rock and you can really tell the girls enjoyed this one. We also got to hear a little bit about Dahli’s touring with Blood on the Dance Floor - and how she quit touring with the band because of an HIV diagnosis. I love that this show is able to play with soft and hard so beautifully. We can be talking about real issues one minute, and the next you see these beautiful super monsters taking their pain and using it to their benefit on the runway. Sadly for Kendra Onixx, her time was up after missing the mark in her runway, performance and not being able to grin and bear the extermination challenge of getting the most embarrassing/trashy tattoo. This series continues to just be all pleasure and no guilt, and I love every second of it.

7) American Gods (Starz)

Neil Gaiman’s best non angelic/devil story (which has its own series coming soon to Amazon) took off like a bandit this year with this show that made me actually watch Star for the first time ever. The combination of Bryan Fuller’s beautiful creative direction with Gaiman’s text and imagination result in the one of the most creative and innovative shows this year. Ricky Whittle gives a star making turn as our lead Shadow Moon, released from jail as his wife has died, and meets a mysterious stranger. Ian McShane was the perfect choice for Mr. Wednesday, as we begin to get into the (literal) mythology, setting up the war to come between the Old Gods and the New. Gillian Anderson also must be praised for her seamless portrayals as Media in the forms of Lucille Ball, David Bowie, Marilyn Monroe and Judy Garland. I love that we learn about the origins of so many gods coming to America, and setting up what’s to come for the second season and beyond!

Outstanding Episode: “Come to Jesus” (Original airdate: 6/18/17)

There were so many fantastic episodes in the first season, it was really hard to narrow down to what truly was the best. But seeing Shadow finally realize what world is was finally apart of is a thrill. Wednesday and Shadow make their way to a celebration thrown by Ostara (Kristin Chenoweth) for spring, just as Media, Mr. World and Tech Boy **and** the same time as Shadow’s not-dead wife Laura (Emily Browning) and leprechaun Mad Sweeney (Pablo Schreiber). So shit gets real VERY quick as Shadow finally catches on he’s among gods. And this is where the most amazing things happen. We learn Wednesday was behind Laura’s death in a car accident and when Media tries to persuade Ostara to join the New Gods, let’s just say shit get biblical. Odin, that is Wednesday, unleashes his power, and encourages Ostara to do the same. We get to see Ostara make things bloom…and wither. From here, Odin and Ostara — and Shadow have drawn their line in the sand that will be the big focus of season two!

6) RuPaul’s Drag Race (VH1)

Hot off a fantastic year of season 8 AND All Stars 2, Drag Race had won its first Emmy for mama Ru’s hosting AND made the switch to VH1. Season 9 upped the game with Lady Gaga as the show’s first guest judge and brought us some of the series’ best contestants to date, whether it was the slaytastic Shea Coulee, artsy Sasha Velour or even the amazing tucking talents of Trinity Taylor. The judges were bigger and better (Kesha, The B-52s, Joan Smalls, Cheyenne Jackson!), the challenges upped the stakes and the eliminations got more and more WTF as the season went on. PLUS mama Ru had had enough half-assed lip-syncs and completely changed the format of the finale to make the finalists TRULY work for the crown.

Outstanding Episode: “Your Pilot’s On Fire” (Original air date: 5/19/2017)

Bitch if ever we were to surpass “what did Willam do” - I’m pretty sure we did with this episode. Ru tasks the final seven to come up their own pilots for network TV. Sasha and Shea, whose chemistry and partnership worked previously in the season, slayed with their spy-comedy Teets And Asky; Peppermint, Trinity Taylor and Alexis Michelle were good for all the wrong reasons (But Trinity’s Sister Mary Kuhnt was HILARIOUS!) due to a lot of infighting mostly from Alexis’s perfectionist tendencies and capacity to throw her other team members right in the path of any oncoming bus. And then there was Valentina and Nina Bo’nina Brown. Woefully underprepared with no script, their attempts to ad-lib don’t wow Michelle Visage and Carson Kressley. The runway theme, club kid, is a true standout among the nine seasons of the show, but big shock, Val and Nina are bottom two, and lip-syncing to Ariana Grande’s “Greedy.” Valentina’s mask stays on at the beginning, and we ALL noticed. And for the first time ever, RuPaul has to stop a lip-sync to ask Valentina to take her mask off. Valentina, to that point, had been portrayed as the sweetest girl in the cast. So when “I’d like to keep it on please” came out of her mouth, the fanbase was shook (we’d be even more shook at the Reunion by her behavior). Valentina throwing in the towel officially, to me, ties Willam’s elimination for the most shocking moment in the show’s history. It also happens in one of this season’s best episodes, and just truly shook up who I thought would make it to the finale.

5) The Vietnam War (PBS)

If you are my age, and you were in high school learning U.S. history - your teacher probably rushed through the 20th century in the span of two weeks or less. If that. Vietnam is usually a day, or two, maybe a week if you’re lucky. And we don’t know nearly enough, my generation that is, about one of the greatest embarrassments in our lifetime. Ken Burns and Lynn Novick’s 10-part, 18 hour masterpiece truly encompasses every single facet of the Vietnam War - the U.S.’s involvement, the North and South Vietnamese armies and governments, the anti-war protests, the U.S.government. There’s so much to unpack and Ken Burns and Lynn Novick’s interviews, research, set to the music of the ‘60s and ‘70s and guided by Peter Coyote’s steady narration. By the end of it all it feels like you’re gone through the war your self and you will most definitely ask what the fuck were we doing there as so many have over the years. Ken Burns may be known for his Civil War documentary but I truly believe because he was able to tell these stories from the sources, that this will be his masterpiece.

Outstanding Episode: “Part 6: Things Fall Apart” (Original air date: 9/24/2017)

Most episodes cover a few years of the 20+ year war but this part covers one event that would change so much of the war. The Tet Offensive from January to July 1968. Hearing the stories of American veterans who were stuck on hills for months while the Vietcong rained down on them, and hearing the same stories from the other side is just incredible. But I think the point that this episode drives home is the perception and appearance of the fake activities of the war. We see one of the most iconic images of the war - the execution of Nguyễn Văn Lém. It’s a photo we’ve all seen in our history books, but we learn the whole story about this execution from this episode. I didn’t know there was video of this - color video. We learn Lém was found near a mass grave of bodies and that a general executed him on his own decision. Despite my very desensitized nature, seeing the video put a giant pit in my stomach…and if I wasn’t already against the war from the first five parts, this convinced me so much that this war was being fought for the wrong reasons.

4) Big Little Lies (HBO)

Limited series are completely in vogue right now, and this is without a doubt one of the best ever. A whodunit murder in Monterrey, California, occurs at a trivia night and we backtrack to meet all the players and suspects. You have high-strung Madeline (Reese Witherspoon), perfectionist Celeste (Nicole Kidman) meeting new single mom Jane (Shaleine Woodley). Things seems off when Jane’s son Ziggy is accused of attacking the daughter of Renata Klein (Laura Dern in what more than easily netted her an Emmy in my opinion) and a series of misunderstandings and power plays occur. (You think corporate greed is bad and under-handed? You haven't seen Witherspoon’s Martha outdo Dern’s Renata on a birthday party Jane’s son wasn’t invited to!) I am always in love with shows that show the dark underside of those “perfect, ideal suburbs.” And this is no exception. Everyone here fires on all cylinders, but the cream of the crop here is Kidman’s Celeste, especially when you learn her husband Perry (Alexander Skarsgard) is beating her. The way Kidman’s confidence is put on and later crumbles is haunting. But I also must give props to Laura Dern is truly having the best year of her career ever (more on this later in the list, twice, no less) and Renata is just a juicy and perfect role for her. People want a second season of this, but I strongly disagree. The majesty and brilliance of this show is in its limited form, and as much as I’d love to see more from all involved, it’s way better and far more powerful as a standalone limited miniseries.

Outstanding Episode: Burning Love (Original airdate: 3/26/2017)

It’s so hard for me to pick one episode, because literally every single of these episodes were brilliant. But the setup right before the epic revelations in the finale was just too perfect. Jane’s search for her rapist (and Ziggy’s father) hits a dead-end, just as Renata draws up a petition to suspend Ziggy. Woodley and Dern going toe-to-toe is just absolutely epic and I couldn't take my eyes off their confrontation. Kidman also excels this hour as Perry’s beatings finally give her courage to look for an apartment, in the first step to leaving him. Martha is livid that her daughter is auctioning her virginity off online, AND her affair from years back is still obsessed with her. Witherspoon more than makes up for lost time the other ladies have gained with this one scene. It’s just once again a complete tour de force of shade and style and substance.

3) Twin Peaks (Showtime)

I’ve waited patiently for this - since I first started watching the original on Netflix three years ago. And it’s so hard to try and describe this without giving crucial plot points away…AND because David Lynch’s brilliant work is sometimes so hard to dissect. OK, so…after the ending of season two, NegaCoop/Evil Cooper/BOB is still in our world, Dale Cooper himself is still stuck in the Black Lodge. And some transference has to happen for Nega to go back and Dale to exit…but Nega has planned for this and created dimwitted Dougie Jones, whose body Dale switches places with. Does that make any sense? No…well it’s David Lynch so fuck it! Now CONFIDENTLY, I can say that Kyle MacLachlan delivers three fantastic performances, that we connect to the original two seasons wonderfully and Fire Walk With Me perfectly and the entire thing is shot to Lynchian perfection. Everyone involved with this, from Sherilyn Fenn’s return as Audrey, to Robert Forster as new Twin Peaks sheriff Frank Truman (Harry’s brother) fire on all cylinders, but my hat goes off to Laura Dern as the previously mentioned but never seen Diane for delivering a chic character with a LOT of panache. (Special mention also has to be given to the late Catherine Coulson’s Log Lady and Miguel Ferrer’s Albert Rosenfeld for giving their characters more depth and final performances that will continue to make their stars shine). This limited series was something I was looking forward to each Sunday and feel honestly honored to watch a true work of art play out every week. Even if the ending was beyond frustrating, it was all about the journey this summer and honestly one of the best summer TV journeys I’ve ever had.

Outstanding Episode: “Part 16” (Original airdate: 8/27/2017)

The first fifteen weeks were amazing Lynchian art, but the penultimate week had plot development for days. After Dougie stuck a fork in an outlet (it’s a very long story, just watch this brilliant season), he’s in a coma BUT wakes up as the Dale Cooper we’ve all loved. And he’s ready to head back to Twin Peaks. Meanwhile, NegaCoop (he’s called Mr. C in most press but it’s just more fun for me) takes wayward fuckup Richard Horne (Eamon Ferren), Audrey’s (and later revealed HIS) son with him to coordinates given to him. Richard dies by electrocution meant for NegaCoop and knows that one set of coordinates is false, and the other will lead him back to Twin Peaks and to a showdown with his doppelgänger. Meanwhile (see what I did there, Peaks fans?) in North Dakota, Diane Evans (Dern) is contacted by NegaCoop and seems to convulse. She meets with her FBI allies Gordon Cole (David Lynch), Albert (Ferrer) and Tammy Preston (Chrysta Bell) revealing what happened when she met “Cooper” years ago. In short, NegaCoop raped her, took her. And then Diane freaks, saying she’s in the sheriff’s station and pulls a gun on her company, only to be shot by Albert and Tammy. Diane then vanishes to the Red Room, where MIKE (Al Strobel) realizes she’s been manufactured. Meanwhile meanwhile, Audrey Horne (Sherilynn Fenn) after two episodes of will she/won't she FINALLY goes to the Roadhouse with her husband. After a performance by Eddie Vedder, it’s announced the band will play “Audrey’s Dance.” Audrey then recreates her iconic dance from the pilot episode only to be interrupted by a sparring match between two men. “Get me out of here” Audrey says to Charlie, only to awake in a white room somewhere in front a mirror, crackling with electricity. And we still don't know where THAT is! (Seriously, David Lynch, do what you want but why include Audrey only to leave us hanging?!)

2) Stranger Things (Netflix)

One of the best surprises of last year has rightfully become a pop culture phenomenon and become one of the best made, best acted and just most fun shows on any medium right now. Set a year after the Vanishing of Will Byers, we rejoin the gang in Hawkins as Lucas and Dustin (Caleb McLaughlin, Gaten Matarazzzo) vie for the attention of new girl Max (Sadie Sink) who just might be able to hang with the gang, Mike (Finn Wolfhard) still coping with the loss of Eleven (Millie Bobbie Brown), Joyce (Winona Ryder) has a new beau (Sean Astin in a role that is just awkward HIL. AR. ITY.) oh and Will (Noah Schnapp) is having episodes (flashes of the Upside Down) on the regular. Things all begin coming to a head as something new from the Upside Down is coming, and it’s not going to stop with Will, it wants Hawkins, it wants the world. And it provides some of the best TV this year. This show’s word-of-mouth in season one is what contributed to its success, and I think the Duffer Brothers were able to build on that and make this season a standout, a great companion to the first and reset everything for its next two seasons.

Outstanding Episode: Chapter Two-Trick or Treat, Freak (Original airdate: 10/27/2017)

After we find out that not only is Eleven alive, but out of the Upside Down AND LIVING WITH HOPPER - you know I clicked NEXT EPISODE and FAST! We learn how El escaped, setting up a great set of small flashbacks for the rest of the season. But the main event here is Halloween with our heroes, taking full splendor of 1984 with Ghostbusters. (And being the only kids in Hawkins to wear their costumes to school - didn’t you hate when this happened to you?) I really enjoyed seeing the gang begin to try and let Max (Sadie Sink) into their ranks. But our focus this episode is two fold. We first get to see the boys trick-or-treating and we see Will being bullied as “zombie boy” and other nicknames (kids are the worst and its even driven home more later when Joyce, knocked back into the Upside Down. But this time with a video camera that will prove to be very crucial later. We also are privy to the high school’s Halloween party as Nancy (Natalia Dyer) and Steve (Joe Keery) begin to have issues. Nancy, especially, still wracked by guilt over the death and disappearance of her best friend Barb. It’s weird to see the dynamics shift of Steve being the responsible one and Nancy spiraling out of control. We’re still setting a lot of things up here, but the binge continues as Halloween winds down as Dustin finds something in his trashcan that changes the course of the entire season.

1) The Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu)

Even if the election of 2016 hadn’t essentially made this work of fiction a bit more real, I would still have given this the #1 slot. Margaret Atwood’s dystopian novel has been a favorite of mine for years and the world of Gilead has needed an onscreen revival after its entertaining but bare ‘90s adaptation. Enter creator and show runner Bruce Miller who took the novel and made a series that is equal parts terrifying, inspiring and breathtaking. The world of Gilead is expanded, lived in, and utterly terrifying in a post-11/8 “45” presidency. But it’s the best show on any platform right now. This is Elisabeth Moss’s show, because she absolutely vanishes into the role of Offred. We get to see how Gilead came to be, through Offred’s eyes and it’s one of the many strengths Miller has made for the series. A first person narrative is amazing, but can only go so far. The series goes beyond only what Offred sees in the novel - we see WAY more here and it sets a lot up. And it’s not just Moss, the entire cast is just fantastic, whether it’s Yvonne Strahovski’s cold and calculating performance as Serena Joy, Samira Wiley’s inspiring Moira - a Handmaid that has escaped, or the Emmy-winning talents of Ann Dowd as the cruel Aunt Lydia. Atwood’s novel is seen during season one and I’m curious what season two is gonna bring us with things never seen in the novel. This is the best 2017 gave us and I knew on its first day of release. The series is a warning, it’s a rally cry, and it is also an inspiring message to never give in, even when things are absolutely horrid. As was written by a Handmaid, and found by Offred: nolite te bastardes carborundum.

Outstanding Episode: “Late” (Original airdate: 4/26/2017)

This isn’t even Elisabeth Moss’ best episode. The reason this episode is the best of the year is because of Alexis Bledel’s Emmy winning performance. AND DOESNT EVEN SAY A WORD DURING THE WHOLE HOUR. We focus on Offred adjusting to the new Ofglen that has replaced Bledel’s. Aunt Lydia interrogates her and Serena assumes Offred is pregnant and defends her against her treatment. (She’s not.) Later when Serena finds this out, Strahovski’s anger and malice play beautifully as she forcibly drags Offred upstairs to confine her to her room. But that’s not the highlight and not why this is the best episode of TV this year. For this we must go back to Ofglen/Emily and Alexis Bledel. She’s been removed from her assigned residence for being a lesbian, a gender traitor and a crime in Gilead, especially the fact that she’s had a secret relationship. She and the Martha (another class of female servants) are sentenced - the Martha hanged (in a tracking shot as a van pulls Bledel away to her own punishment and sentence. We don’t see that until the episode’s end when Dowd’s pious Aunt Lydia comes in to tell Emily she won't want for what she can’t have. We then look down to see she has under gone genital mutilation. Bledel’s silence is finally broken as she screams, and it’s a chilling end to a brilliantly tragic hour of TV.

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becbibliophile · 4 years

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So here they are the top 5 reads for 2019. This year was a hard one to narrow down but each of these books totally took me to new levels in reading that I hadn’t ever reached before or hadn’t for a while. There is a nice mix of angsty, fun and breathtaking reads. And I hope that each of you checks them out and if you haven’t read them yet, add them to your TBR right away!

#WomensLit #SecondChance #Family

The New York Times bestselling author of Rainy Day Friends and Lost and Found Sisters returns to Wildstone, California…

Brooke Lemon has always led the life she wanted, wild adventures—and mistakes—included, something her perfect sister, Mindy, never understood. So when Mindy shows up on Brooke’s doorstep in the throes of a break-down with her three little kids in tow, Brooke’s shocked.

Wanting to make amends, Brooke agrees to trade places, taking the kids back to Wildstone for a few days so Mindy can pick up the pieces and put herself back together. What Brooke doesn’t admit is she’s just as broken . . . Also how does one go home after seven years away? It doesn’t take long for Brooke to come face-to-face with her past, in the form of one tall, dark, sexy mistake. But Garrett’s no longer interested. Only his words don’t match his actions, leaving Brooke feeling things she’d shoved deep.

Soon the sisters begin to wonder: Are they lemons in life? In love? All they know is that neither seems to be able to run far enough to outpace her demons. And when secrets surface, they’ll have to learn that sometimes the one person who can help you the most is the one you never thought to ask.

GOODREADS | AMAZON | B&N | APPLE BOOKS | KOBO

MY THOUGHTS

First off, Jill Shalvis… I devour just about every book she releases. But for some reason, I had missed this series and so The Lemon Sisters was my first book (Book 3 in the series) that I had read.

As I dove into the book I was immediately taken by these sisters. My sister and I were so close as kids, then life going in different directions tore us apart as adults. I think a lot of sisters can relate to this. Maybe it was the emotions of my real-life situation that made me latch onto these sisters and I was totally emersed in their tale. The dual stories of the sister who has detached from the daily life of the sister that is struggling with being a mom, a wife, a businesswoman and wanting it all to go so smoothly. It just all hit home in a very real way to me. So much of the storyline spoke to me and even shouted at me. I laughed and cried and sighed along with the characters. I started the book and didn’t put it down for more than 5 minutes at a time before I had to get back to see what was going on with Mindy, Garrett, Brooke, and Linc… plus don’t forget about those adorable children too.

This is a book on second chances, both with sisters and the guy. It’s about repairing relationships. Learning to love yourself and be happy with the life given to you. It’s about new beginnings and putting the past in the past. It’s a book I won’t soon forget.

#SecondChance #BestFriendsSister #Forbidden

There’s two sides to every love story. The how you fell in love, and the how you fell apart.

This is ours.

The cardinal rule of friendship is you don’t mess with your friend’s sister. That goes double when she’s his little sister.

It was just supposed to be fun.

She wasn’t supposed to end up being the love of my life. And I definitely wasn’t supposed to break her heart.

Ainsley is a wedding dress designer. That should’ve been a warning that she’s a hopeless romantic. That should’ve clued me in that she believes love conquers all.

But there are some things that love can’t fix. I’m one of them.

She thinks love is the answer.

But love is the reason I let her go.

GOODREADS | AMAZON | B&N | APPLE BOOKS | KOBO

MY THOUGHTS

This book… THIS BOOK!!! I cried… I laughed… I cried again… It had all the emotions and boy did I ever fall for these characters! Hands down will be in my top 5 for 2019. (SEE I KNEW!)

I’ve been reading Prescott for a while and this book is by far her best yet. She has a great way of weaving the story and grabbing your attention, making you feel each of the excitement of the characters, the passion, the remorse, the love, the grief.

This is a journey of two people who fall madly in love. Its a secret though, since she is his best friend and business partner’s little sister. But the moment these two connect on the page, you know they are destined to be together. But when tragedy strikes, is love, JUST LOVE enough?

I felt so much reading this book. I had to put it down at times to get take in the moments – the emotional pulls, the heartache and then the healing.

Although the book has some light moments, for the most part, it’s a heavy book. I had a good cry reading it. And fell in love with the hope that love can conquer all. Read this book. You won’t be sorry.

#ROMCOM

Cowritten by USA Today best-selling author Tara Sivec and award-winning narrator Andi Arndt, a hysterically funny, heartfelt romance about starting over and taking chances.

Nothing good ever comes from drinking a box of wine alone. So when I decided to entertain my drunken self by setting up some hand-me-down podcasting equipment and reading the steamy parts from romance novels, I never thought anyone would actually listen. The fact that I admitted my huge crush on my sexy next-door neighbor made the whole thing even more mortifying. But sometimes life surprises you, and that’s how my podcast, Heidi’s Discount Erotica, was born.

Now I, Heidi Larsen, a sweet former kindergarten teacher in Waconia, Minnesota, lead a scandalous double life reading erotic novels to the listening world. And with each episode, I find myself embracing my new alter ego more and more. Now I’m starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin and do things I never would have dreamed of – like kissing my neighbor.

Look out, Waconia, because Heidi’s on the loose! She’s in your ears, in your hearts, and down your pants…wait, that didn’t sound as good as it did in my head. Well, you get the picture, don’tcha know!

MY THOUGHTS

This had to be one of the funniest books I’ve ever read/listened to! This book was EVERYTHING and I recommend it to everyone who is looking for a fun, witty, excitingly sexy book.

A former kindergarten teacher steps out of her comfort zone, taking a job at an audiobook company. She becomes best friends with one of the biggest movie stars out there along with his romance novelist wife. All while trying to get up enough guts to approach the super sexy new next-door neighbor, that she feels she’s too plain jane to catch his eye. All while starting a podcast to help her take her unsexy to super hot!

Once again, being from North Dakota, this book brought back all the memories. The accents alone took me there. I just could not stop laughing!!

That being said, if you get the chance (and are part of the romance package with Audibles it’s FREE to listen to) YOU MUST LISTEN TO THE AUDIOBOOK!!! I was laughing like a maniac and I’m sure I had quite a few people ready to call the police on me as I was driving, wiping away tears and spewing soda out of my nose from laughing so hard (PS – Don’t drink anything while listening if you don’t want this to happen).

Get this book!!! The End

#FakeRomance #SiblingRivalary

FROM THE #1 ‘NEW YORK TIMES’ BESTSELLING AUTHOR COMES AN UNEXPECTED LOVE STORY OF FAMILY, SECRETS, AND THE MOST INTIMATE OF DECEPTIONS.

My estranged twin brother, Julian, was always the wonder boy – and soon-to-be CEO of our ruthless father’s corporation. My mother and me? Left behind. Now, years after tearing our family apart, my father dares to ask “me” for a favor? Pretend to be Julian while he fights to survive a tragic accident. It can save the company. Nobody will be the wiser. It’ll be our secret.

I can play Dad’s favorite. I’ll do anything for Julian. And for my mother, who’ll want for nothing.

But this double life comes with a beauty of a hitch: my very real feelings for Julian’s fiancée, Isobel. Not only am I betraying Julian, I’m deceiving a woman I love. She doesn’t suspect a thing. As lies compound, lines are crossed and loyalties tested, all I can ask myself is. . .what have I done?

Because sooner or later something’s got to give. There’s no way I’m giving up Isobel. But once the truth is exposed, it might not be my choice at all.

GOODREADS | AMAZON

MY THOUGHTS

I think this book is RVD’s best book to date. It was filled with so much angsty goodness and I immediately fell for our hero (or is he?) Bridge. I understood his need to do the things he did (I know vague much? But I can’t give any spoilers away!)

The story is about twin brothers, Bridge and Julian, who were torn apart in middle school by their parent’s divorce and pitted against each other by their father. Full of twists and turns. Secrets and lies. Throw in a fake relationship and angst and you’ve got yourself a winner! Julian and Bridge are as different as night and day which makes what happens even that more intriguing.

Just know that you will be sucked into the story from the first chapter and if you’re like me, once you start, you’ll be putting your life on hold until you finish the last page. (Remember bookmarks are for quitters!)

Each book with Rachel gets better and better and I think Stealing Her takes her fans back to her earlier works. And the best part is we get book two in the series (each book is a standalone) in February of 2020.

#RomanticSuspense #SmallTown #LawEnforcment #Celebrity #BrothersBestFriend

Ok, so there are really THREE books that made my number one this year. All by the same author and all from the same series. I had too hard of a time picking just one of the books – so here you have the entire series, from a new author that popped into the Romance scene in 2019. And I see nothing but bigger and better things heading her way. The Sutter Lake Series by Catherine Cowles is my top read for 2019.

Beautifully Broken Pieces – Book One

vimeo

A woman who’s lost everything.

Taylor is looking for peace and quiet away from the memories of all she’s lost. A small mountain town where no one knows her seems like the perfect escape.

A man battling the ghosts of his past.

Walker loves his life just the way it is. His town, his family, his brothers in blue. Everything simple and easy—until a chance encounter changes it all.

When Taylor’s solitude is interrupted by the rugged cop, they find that the very thing they were avoiding might be just what they both need. As their iron wills clash and passion flares…a killer lurks.

And you never know who might be caught in the crosshairs.

GOODREADS | AMAZON | B&N | APPLE BOOKS | KOBO

Beautifully Broken Life – Book Two

vimeo

She’s on the run…

Tessa has finally found a safe haven in Sutter Lake, hiding in plain sight—just as long as no one asks too many questions.

He can’t escape…

Liam knows better than anyone how one wrong word, a single whisper can ruin a life. After seeing the darker side of fame, he’s desperate to retreat and find his voice again.

Two people from opposite worlds, brought together by a connection neither expected.

But the forces they’re both running from still lurk in the shadows…

And you never know when they might strike.

GOODREADS | AMAZON | B&N | APPLE BOOKS | KOBO

Beautifully Broken Spirit – Book Three

vimeo

She’s always been his safe place to land.

Jensen has shared a special bond with Tuck for as long as she can remember, their friendship a language that never needed words. But as life threw her one curveball after another, that secret language turned to stony silence.

He’s always been her protector.

Tuck has looked out for Jensen since the day she was born. As his best friend’s little sister, he’s tried to keep her firmly in the friend category. But she’s always been more.

All it takes is one moment of weakness to send Tuck’s fiercely guarded walls crumbling to the ground. As a new fire burns between them, someone watches. Someone who doesn’t like the new life Jensen’s building for herself.

And they’ll stop at nothing to keep her in the dark.

GOODREADS | AMAZON | B&N | APPLE BOOKS | KOBO

MY THOUGHTS

Set in the idyllic setting of Sutter Lakes, Oregon, these books are interconnected standalone novels full of suspense and romance. Each book I was immediately thrown into the life of our main heroines – who all are running in some way from their pasts and starting new in this small town. They are strong, independent and a lot of the times stubborn, in both the good and pain in the ass way, paired with men who support and connect with them in just about spiritual ways. And all are super sexy (Sherrif, Musician, Tracker) and make a girl swoon.

Sutter Lake is home to a herd of wild horses which also play a big part in each of the novels. After reading this series, I promptly begged my husband to look for a job in Oregon. Catherine makes you fall not only for her characters but also for the scenery which becomes a character within itself. I can vividly imagine where these men and women walk as everything is painted so clearly for the reader.

Catherine has definitely become my go-to author for romantic suspense. You get lost immediately upon cracking open the book and she takes you and her characters on a journey that keeps you riveted to the page and falling hook, line, and sinker into the storyline. She had a busy year publishing three books with the conclusion of the series being published in early February 2020. (Beautifully Broken Control). These books were everything to me. Catherine is my most recommended author for 2019. And so, my number one book(s) for 2019 is the Sutter Lake Series.

I hope that you were able to find some new authors and books to add to I’m sure your never-ending To Be Read List. Be sure to enter to win a $25 Amazon GC below and Happy New Year!

XO-

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Top Reads of 2019 /Books 5-1 Here they are my TOP READS of 2019... @JillShalvis @PrescottLane1 @TaraSivec @andi_arndt @RachVD @CatherineCowles So here they are the top 5 reads for 2019. This year was a hard one to narrow down but each of these books totally took me to new levels in reading that I hadn't ever reached before or hadn't for a while.

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bornoffside · 7 years

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Holland - Marco Reus (1)

April 25th, 2016.

California Blues?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s true! Cara Tate is is leaving La La Land!

For those of you 'Taters' who didn’t tune in to yesterday’s broadcast of Jimmy Kimmel Live! the London-born singer/songwriter, has officially announced that she will be returning to her homeland by the end of the month. Although Tate was hesitant to reveal any details as to why she was leaving, she did thank everyone in LA and the US for their overwhelming support.

“I’m so grateful for the opportunity and support everyone here has given me. I can’t believe how far we’ve come in such a short time, but I couldn’t have done it without you guys, so thank you!”

Many speculate that the move has something to do with her love life, but any potential rumours were shut down by her agent -Chris Lewis- who denied all claims that the move was anything but a strong case of homesickness. Tate has always kept a tight leash on the romance department, so whatever the real reason is, is anyone’s guess.

“It’s been a hectic three years for Miss Tate, from new albums to the awards, to touring…it catches up with you, and right now we think it’s best if she takes a well-deserved break. With that being said, she’s wanted to head back home for a while now, it was only a matter of time.”

But don’t cry just yet, the 11-time Grammy winner hasn’t entirely put her music on hold, mentioning that she’d definitely try to do as much work on her new -currently unnamed- album whenever her 'muse kicked in’. Either way, we wish her the best, and hope that we’ll see her stateside again in the future.

Homesickness? We weren’t entirely convinced, but let us know what you think in the comments section below! That’s all from us today, and stay tuned for more about Cara Tate and the mysterious move that’s about to take place!

Cara scrolled down, finishing the article before sighing lightly.

It was good to finally let the world know that she would be taking a break. The hectic lifestyle was definitely not something she had anticipated when she thought of celebrities, and there was no doubting that as soon as her career had taken off, she had to hold on for dear life.

She wished that she had a really inspiring story of how she had made it to the top of the music industry alongside the likes of Rihanna and Co. but the truth was, that she had been entirely too lucky on a long rainy night when she was 19.

She had gone out to celebrate her friend’s birthday party in a crowded pub somewhere in Victoria, and the night had ended with her drunkenly singing karaoke. How did that appeal to her agent? She had no idea. But all she could remember was waking up the next morning with a killer headache and Chris Lewis’ business card in her purse (which she was surprised to have not lost).

But now, things had changed. She was no longer just a physiology student living with her mother and trying to set realistic goals. No, she was a singer, a Grammy winner, a chart topper…she was a ‘somebody’.

And she was exhausted.

The tabloids liked to believe that everything in every celebrity’s life was related to some scandalous love affair, but that really wasn’t the case. She wasn’t leaving LA because some heartbreaker hurt her, she didn’t have to worry about that! She was leaving to try and take the spotlight off of herself for a while. She needed a break after being thrown into the deep end so quickly, and unfortunately, America couldn’t offer that.

She wasn’t stupid enough to think that she wouldn’t get similar treatment back home, but it was somewhere familiar. Somewhere that she could do whatever she wanted, and just enjoy her freedom for once. If she wanted to stay home all day eating pizza and watching good TV, then she would!

Not to mention the fact that she would have her mother there with her.

What nobody really knew about Cara Tate, was that she was adopted. Her foster mother had been kept out of the media for good reason - because Cara didn’t want to disrupt her life. But she knew that her team thought it would be bad for publicity. Why? She had no clue. If anything, it was more admirable in her eyes.

Her mother -Lisa- was of African decent, from the Ivory Coast to be specific, but she had lived in London her whole life. The woman was a complete saint in Cara’s eyes, she was so strong and loving that the young woman really couldn’t have asked for a better home to go to.

But despite what her team thought, Cara couldn’t have been more proud to have Lisa as her mother. It’s what drove her to donate to orphanages and children’s charities -something her team was more than willing to have her do. It really bugged her what people would do for good publicity, and she really hoped that the world didn’t think that was the reason behind her donations.

She had never known her real parents. They died in a car accident just months after her birth. The only information she had was that they were a young couple that had moved to England a year before she was conceived. Her father was German, and had met her Greek mother at university. As far as the media was concerned, she was a London-born German, which explained why she had attended Germany’s international matches. Of course, that wasn’t the only reason, but she’d gotten a lot of grief from the English supporters for her choice of national team.

She was thrown out of her thoughts when the voice of a stewardess filled the silence, instructing passengers on safety procedures before takeoff. Putting her earphones in, she buckled in and waited patiently to finally be up in the air. The flight was over 10 hours, and she couldn’t wait to sleep through the whole damn thing, she had never been more grateful for first class seats!

“Hey, Götze!”

Mario looked up from the laces he had knelt down to tie, a questioning look on his face when he saw the man calling for him.

“What’s up?”

Thomas Müller nodded towards the large TV that was held up in the corner of the room, and Mario’s eyes followed it. His brows furrowed in confusion, seeing the familiar face on the screen, but not being able to hear anything because of the instant chatter of his teammates.

“Hey, shut up!”

He got up from the floor, walking over to turn the volume up, ignoring all of the stares that had been on him the moment he yelled. They never really paid much attention to any of the gossip shows, usually switching over to football while they were in the training room, or just listening to music instead. But he felt a small smile tug at his lips when he heard the news spill from the German reporter’s lips.

“…-shocked to hear that Cara Tate has announced a break from the music industry! Fans have been giving mixed signals over social media, most of them offering support, while others aren’t too happy with the decision. All we can say is that the superstar will definitely be landing in London later today, and we hope she enjoys the break!”

“Damn, she’s hot…” a low whistle followed the comment, and Mario gave the owner a incredulous look.

“Thomas, you’re married!”

He simply shrugged with a grin. “She’s still hot…just not as hot as my wife.” He gave the younger man a wink before tying his own laces.

A series of chuckles was heard throughout the room. Everyone knew that Thomas Müller was the joker of the team, it was refreshing and always cheered them up if they were having a bad game.

“You going to call her?”

Mario tore his gaze away from the TV to face the man speaking to him.

“I don’t know, Lewy…I don’t know when she lands.”

The Polish striker cocked a brow at his friend. “Then call her tomorrow?”

The whole team knew about Mario’s…crush on the singer, but he had assured them that they were just friends. Of course, now he was dating Ann-Kathrin, and he loved her…but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t still nervous around his old friend.

It seemed like the only person that didn’t know about his feelings was the young woman herself. But she often found herself asking him for advice, or talking to him whenever her life got too crazy. Mario was a really easy-going person, with an incredible ability to calm people down. He had done it more than once when she was freaking out while on tour, and she’d forever be grateful for his friendship. It was one of the only genuine ones she had. He’d even taught her German when she expressed her desire to learn her father’s language.

Cara was loved by the world. A lot of celebrities put on a pleasant face that fooled everyone, but she was genuinely a good person. She was real, and it was her normality that drew people like Mario in. She didn’t have to do all of the things she did -the charities, the fundraisers etc. but she did anyway, because that’s just who she was. She didn’t take things for granted, and Mario was one of the only people in the world to know why. She had told him of her parentage a while ago, deciding to trust him with her biggest unnecessary secret.

In return, he had trusted her as well, and surprisingly none of the paparazzi had managed to find out about their friendship just yet. They both knew what would happen if they did. So as a precaution, Mario had already mentioned it to his girlfriend so that she wouldn’t get the wrong idea, and Ann-Kathrin was eager to meet the singer.

He hadn’t seen Cara in person for a year, but she always promised to visit whenever she returned to London. Munich was only about 2 hours away by plane, so she didn’t mind making the trip.

“I might…I don’t know. Maybe she won’t want to talk…she already said she wants a break.”

Robert rolled his eyes at Mario’s nervousness. He had never met Cara, not even while he was at Dortmund, but he knew that she was one of the most laid back celebrities in the world. Mario had nothing to worry about.

“A break from work, not from her friends. I think she’d be happy to hear from you, it’s been a while since you've spoken to her.”

Mario thought it over for a moment, and decided that the Polish striker was probably right. Lewy was great at seeing the bigger picture and he was often the voice of reason when it came to Mario. Even though Marco was his best friend, he gave terrible advice!

“Yeah…actually, I think I might.” He shot the older man a grateful smile. “Thanks, Lewy.”

“No problem, now hurry up or Pep will kill us!”

#marco reus #mario gotze #robert lewandowski #thomas muller #bvb #borussia dortmund #arsenal #bayern munich #football #soccer

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jessicakehoe · 5 years

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What Do Last Night’s Golden Globe Wins Mean For the Oscars?

The Golden Globes have long been known as the kooky member of the awards circuit family: always a ton of fun, but not to be taken quite seriously. While they officially kick off awards season each year, the notoriously unpredictable awards show isn’t a great arbiter of what to expect over the following two months of awards, culminating with the Oscars on February 24. That said, it does certainly affect the buzz going into the season, and the fact that the Academy nominations cycle began this morning, the very night after the Globes, could very well influence the process. Which could be why some of the winners at last night’s ceremony sparked surprise (and outrage) from critics and film buffs on social media over the course of the evening.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA), which awards the Globes, is comprised of 90 international journalists based in Los Angeles. By contrast, the Academy of Motion Pictures, Arts and Sciences—which awards the Oscars—counts over 8000 people from the industry as members, from actors to writers to cinematographers to casting directors. As Linda Holmes notes in NPR, “The Hollywood Foreign Press Association is relatively small, notoriously weird in its tastes, and possessed of a reputation politely described as “eye-poppingly solicitous in matters related to famous people.” You never want to take the Globes too seriously, except that they are a high-profile event that’s a big part of Oscar campaigning — whether they should be or not. (They should not.)”

So what, if anything, can we take away from this year’s Golden Globes?

Bohemian Rhapsody won three of the biggest awards of the night: best actor, best screenplay and best film. That’s a massive wave of support for the film which, though commercially successful in many countries around the world, was panned by critics for a variety of reasons, including its excessively moralistic depiction of homosexuality and AIDS, and its inaccurate timeline of events. The film’s director, Bryan Singer, was fired halfway through filming and replaced by another director, Dexter Fletcher, though the directing credit remains Singer’s, who has since been accused of rape and sexual assault. Despite the love it received on Globes night, it’s doubtful that we’ll see a repeat of multiple awards at the Oscars. Rami Malek, who plays Queen’s lead singer Freddie Mercury, still has a pretty good shot at nabbing the statuette for Best Actor, but other than that, the film’s chances to win big with the Academy still seem slim. (For the record, according to review-aggregation site Metacritic, Bohemian Rhapsody is the worst-reviewed Best Drama Globe winner in recorded history.)

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY was passed over by the WGA and the ASC, so Hollywood hasn’t gone *entirely* insane.

— Guy Lodge (@GuyLodge) January 7, 2019

Green Book is another film that found some favour with audiences but not so much with critics. It won the coveted People’s Choice Award at TIFF, which has historically been a pretty good indicator of the film that eventually went on to win Best Picture at the Oscars. But the film’s basic premise of ‘Hey look! A black man and a white man can be friends!’ has been criticized for being overly simplistic, and the storyline itself—which is supposed to be based on true events—has been deemed “a symphony of lies” by the surviving family of Don Shirley, the black musician portrayed by Mahershala Ali in the film.

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY and GREEN BOOK are definitely the best movies of the year unless you ask the communities those movies were supposed to represent.

— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) January 7, 2019

Both this film and the Queen biopic take ostensibly progressive ideas but fail to dive as deep into their complexity as the stories deserve. Speaking of remaining in the shallows…

A Star is Born very shockingly went home with just one award, for Best Original Song, which was pretty much a lock anyway. I think we can safely bet on it going home with Oscar too. But Bradley Cooper lost out to Malek, Lady Gaga to Glenn Close (more on that in a bit) and the film overall to Bohemian Rhapsody. Cooper’s still very much in the running for the Oscars, as is Gaga although Close’s win—and impassioned speech about women pursuing their dreams—definitely make her a stronger contender than earlier estimated. Close’s look of utter shock proves that even she wasn’t expecting to win but her spontaneous speech clearly sat well with the audience in the room—many of whom are Academy voters—because it got her a mid-speech standing ovation.

By the looks of it, Glenn Close did not think Glenn Close was going to win, either. #GoldenGlobes pic.twitter.com/89lP80EICI

— Vulture (@vulture) January 7, 2019

It should also be noted that in her 45-year career (a stat she casually dropped into her speech), Close has been nominated for an Oscar six times but is yet to take home the gold. Adding to the tight Best Actress race is Olivia Colman, whose win for The Favourite, another critical darling, puts her in a pretty solid position.

Roma winning both Best Foreign Film and Best Director bodes well for its chances at the Oscars. Unlike the Globes, where foreign films are not eligible for the Best Picture award, Alfonso Cuaron’s languid black-and-white film could very likely land a Best Picture nom and perhaps take it home too. It’s a film that has done exceedingly well with critics and members of the industry, praised for everything from its cinematography and score to acting and direction.

I can get behind Alfonso Cuarón winning Best Director for Roma; I cannot get behind Roma gettin passed over for a Best Picture nomination at the same ceremony. #GoldenGlobes

— Stephen Thompson (@idislikestephen) January 7, 2019

Neither Green Book nor Bohemian Rhapsody were expected to emerge the frontrunners at the Globes, but this is just the beginning. Lets see how everyone fares tonight, at the New York Film Critics Circle Awards, and this weekend, at the Los Angeles Film Critics Association’s Awards on Saturday night and the Critics’ Choice Awards on Sunday night. The upcoming guild awards though—Directors Guild of America (DGA), Producers Guild of America (PGA), Writers Guild of America (WGA) and Screen Actors Guild (SAG)—are usually the most reliable predictors of Oscar night success. Let the speculation continue!

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lindyhunt · 5 years

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What Do Last Night’s Golden Globe Wins Mean For the Oscars?

So what, if anything, can we take away from this year’s Golden Globes?

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY was passed over by the WGA and the ASC, so Hollywood hasn’t gone *entirely* insane.

— Guy Lodge (@GuyLodge) January 7, 2019

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY and GREEN BOOK are definitely the best movies of the year unless you ask the communities those movies were supposed to represent.

— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) January 7, 2019

Both this film and the Queen biopic take ostensibly progressive ideas but fail to dive as deep into their complexity as the stories deserve. Speaking of remaining in the shallows…

By the looks of it, Glenn Close did not think Glenn Close was going to win, either. #GoldenGlobes pic.twitter.com/89lP80EICI

— Vulture (@vulture) January 7, 2019

I can get behind Alfonso Cuarón winning Best Director for Roma; I cannot get behind Roma gettin passed over for a Best Picture nomination at the same ceremony. #GoldenGlobes

— Stephen Thompson (@idislikestephen) January 7, 2019

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flauntpage · 6 years

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Some Thoughts on Whatever the Hell NBC Sports Philly is Doing

After Jess Camerato revealed on Twitter last week that she wasn’t returning to NBC Sports Philadelphia, I tried to list, off the top of my head, some of the departures and changes the network has presided over in the last two years:

Molly Sullivan out

Marshall Harris out

Jess Camerato out

Dei Lynam out

Neil Hartman out

Ron Burke out

Andy Schwartz out (longtime web guy)

production/creative services layoffs

new web policy restricting stories to 500 word max

I obviously missed a lot of stuff, which y’all helped remind me of:

Leslie Gudel out

Breakfast on Broad eventually cancelled, Sarah Baicker and Jillian Mele move on, Rob Ellis comes back in a different role after leaving 97.5 the Fanatic

Reuben Frank taken off Quick Slants

Tim Panaccio replaced by John Boruk

Mike Barkann moved to pre and post game roles

Brian Westbrook removed from Eagles postgame show

Amy Fadool and Marc Farzetta paired on Philly Sports Talk

new simulcast of the Mike Missanelli radio show