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morning-thunderstorm · 4 years

Text

A butterfly dive.

Hello, @pondlilies00. I was your Natsume yuujinchou Secret Santa gifter. @natsume-ss

Here's the first of the Natsume turned god series. I'll do my best to post other parts before the deadline, too. If you prefer AO3, here's the link - https://archiveofourown.org/works/21959386

Name: A butterfly dive.

Word count: 6856 words.

It happens one day, in late spring, when green colors slopes of mountains and flowers cover roadside in all colors of rainbow.

Natsume smiles, listening to Kitamoto and Nishimura’s bickering and jokes, occasionally joining, but mostly keeping to himself. Kappa told him about a small river up the mountain where there is very good fish, and now they are heading there, though Tanuma was busy helping his dad with something the shrine.

“Oh, how’s your cousin?” Nishimura bites his lip, “He’s better, I hope?”

The sudden change in mood attracts Natsume’s attention. Kitamoto's cousin? Is he ill? But his somber face didn’t tell good news. Natsume scowled, but remained silent.

“No. Doctors don’t even know what’s the problem with his legs. All is good”, Atsushi exhales sharply, “Nerves, bones, muscles, it’s almost like that old telltale auntie told us when we were small”, he tangled his hair,” You know that one, about a Mononoke in the left shrine on the north slope of the mountain”.

Natsume perked up at these words. Mononoke?

“Yeah”, Nishimura sighed, “Oh, Natsume, you don’t know Koonaku!” he turned to Takashi, selfconscious. Natsume only shook his head.

'Kitamoto’s cousin could be a victim of an angry yokai', he thought, 'better check, Kitamoto likes him a lot, it seems'.

“His name’s Koonaku Ryuuzan, my maternal cousin, two years older than me”, Atsushi smiled, “He’s like a brother to me, we’re very close”.

“What’s happened?” Natsume asked, tentatively observing his friend, ready to back down any moment. After all, he had the Dog’s Circle, who could find it out for him, if the need arose.

“He walked in the forest with friends after school, to find some sort of flowers for their biology project, his teacher told them where to find them, and they came to that left shrine. He said he would go inside and look for them in the yard, but didn’t come out for about ten minutes”, Kitamoto fell silent for a moment, nervously pursing lips. His fists clenched, knuckles whitening, “The shrine is small, so it couldn’t take him so long, and his friends worried. They found him in the main building, he lay on the floor. There were two small cuts on his hips, but nothing more. They weren’t even poisoned!” he swung hands in frustration and anxiety.

Natsume glanced down on Nyanko-sensei. The cat’s eyes glistened in the sun, serious expression — almost scowl on his face. So, it was a yokai. Natsume frowned. He heard about this left shrine from the Dog’s Circle. They said there was some spirit, but they were more or less peaceful, not vengeful to humans, just closed off.

“My best wishes to him”, Takashi nodded, “I’m sure he’ll be alright soon”.

“Thanks”, Kitamoto smiled wearily.

They went, more quiet now, with Nishimura talking about a new game he wanted till reaching the river. While his friends put out their fishing rods, Natsume busied himself with laying out snacks and drinks. They planned on being here for all noon, so Touko-san packed them both bento and candy bars.

"Sensei, ask Hinoe to come home, please, I want to ask her something".

The cat purred, tickled under his chin, and stood up.

"Save me those shrimps, then", he grumbled, "And don't get in trouble until I come back".

"Will do", Natsume petted him once more and Nyanko-sensei sprinted, disappearing in bushes without a sound.

He exhaled and put several shrimps away from other meals. He promised, after all.

They spent all day fishing and playing and having fun, and when they were coming back, Kitamoto was smiling, happy and wide, and it was worth all his weariness and subtle ache in limbs from running and jumping.

"Bye, Natsume!", they parted ways on the crossroad, and Takashi sped up. 'Hinoe must already be at home', he thought, pacing through streets.

"I'm home!", he spoke, taking off shoes.

"Welcome home, Takashi-kun, how was fishing?" Touko-san came out of the kitchen, greeting him with warm smile and soft homey smell.

"It was good, Touko-san, here's what I caught", he didn't keep his own smile down and stretched out a bag with several fish.

Surprise colored her face, but changed into a twinkle of a delight.

"You sure are good with it, Takashi-kun", she took the bag, "All of them big and so many, as if kappa was helping you!" Natsume laughed, not answering. It was the kappa indeed, "I'll cook something out of it for dinner. Oh, are you tired?" Touko-san tilted her head and cupped his cheek, motherly love and care in every gesture and touch, "You've been out so long, rest a bit, will you?"

"Ok, Touko-san", he nodded, "I'll be upstairs".

"Good, I'll start with dinner then", she went back to the kitchen.

Natsume went up in his room. Hinoe was already there indeed, filling the room with pale purple smoke from her pipe.

"Natsume!" a broad smile morphed her face from mildly concerned to openly glad, "You finally came!" but not a second later a pout "This guardian of yours has no manners, he didn't even offer sake or tea, despite all my long wait!" playful pout and eyes shining with well-meaning mischief from under long eyelashes.

Takashi shook head, sitting down across her: yokai and their games are so… yokai sometimes.

"Sensei, I'm sure you can share some of your sake with Hinoe, you always do", he berated gently. He was almost convinced that the cat hid some bottles somewhere in the house, with how he sometimes got drunk without even leaving it.

"What?! No way! That's feasts, this is my own sake!" righteous indignant shriek was only muffled by Takashi's hand.

"Pfft", Hinoe scoffed, exhaling a big cloud of smoke, "Anyway, Natsume, you wanted to see me. What's it?"

"Oh, sorry", he fidgeted, "Do you know anything about the spirit living in the left shrine on the north slope of the mountain?"

Hinoe hummed, inhaled and then exhaled, letting out a snake-shaped cloud. The snake turned, curling in circles and turning its head, and then slowly shifted into a more human-like form.

Natsume looked at this, not turning away for a moment. 'So this is the spirit appearance', he thrummed on tatami, 'A snake…'

"This is Mekoguro", she said, "The goddess of the shrine left it, not so long ago, couple centuries at most. He was her servant and stayed behind to look after it in case she deigns to come back, which I doubt very much. She left for another world". One more smoke-filled exhale and another figure rose near to the serpent-like yokai. Female figure in colorful heian clothes with snake pattern on long sleeves and lower hem, long black hair with a braid in the middle. Her face had fair features, just like beauties of ancient times. A small beauty mark under her right eye caught Takashi's attention. He saw someone who looked exactly like that not long ago. 'Not now', he passed this thought.

"You once said he's not antagonizing humans", he said.

"Mostly", Hinoe nodded, "If they don't disrespect rules of the shrine or trespass where they can't go. The usual of his kind", she flailed her pipe, turning her illusion null.

Natsume scowled. The usual…

"And the rules are?" he asked. Better safe than sorry, with yokai especially.

"Also the usual. Don't step on the goddess' road, cleanse before entering, and the like", she shrugged.

"You said 'mostly'", remembered Takashi, "What do you mean?"

"Some foolish humans thought it was a good idea to break those rules", Hinoe exhaled another smoke cloud, "Mekoguro punished them accordingly".

Natsume tensed. 'Accordingly' could mean a lot, particularly if it was a servant protecting a god or a god's honor.

"Was among them anyone who lost their legs?" he clenched fists.

Hinoe nodded, somber all of the sudden.

"Yes. These are the ones, who stepped on the goddess' path. It is a grave insult, you see, and I heard that Mekoguro only left those fools alive because of the goddess's order. She's forbidden him from killing humans".

"Step on the god's path…" Takashi grit his teeth. This was more than just a mean spirit.

"Do you know if they had cuts on legs and then lost their legs?" it was his last attempt at hoping for the better.

"Two small cuts, one on each leg", Hinoe's words were the final nail in the coffin.

Takashi heaved a heavy sigh and lumped, crouching. This was going to be a mess, he could say.

"You need any more, Natsume?" Hinoe smiled reassuringly, concern clear in her red eyes.

"If you could, ask around, please. This Mekoguro recently punished a human, what did that human do?" the boy massaged his temples, feeling impending doom of headache coming.

"This I can answer right away", Hinoe shook her head, "He trespassed the goddess' path and didn't even acknowledge it".

"Idiot", Nyanko-sensei huffed, "Now that you know, what will you do, Natsume?"

"So it was your human", hummed Hinoe, "I thought they know better".

"I don't have humans", Takashi snapped, "And it was my friend's cousin, I don't know him personally".

"The kin of the one under your wing, then", corrected herself Hinoe, "Still your charge, I say. Blood of your retinue is under your protection, it is a basic rule", she said, "You can use it".

"What do you mean, Hinoe?" Natsume perked up.

"I mean that this foolish human is your charge. You repay his debt and you're good", she flicked her pipe, "Though price will be high, this I can promise".

Natsume rolled his aching shoulders. Tomorrow is going a busy day, it seemed.

"Do you know what would suffice as the peace offering?" he had no idea, so any advice would be highly appreciated. Nyanko-sensei still kept silent, so he assumed the cat didn't know, too.

"Something pricy. It may be anything, I really don't know, Mekoguro is too closed off", she shrugged, with guilt clear on her face and hunched pose.

"Still, thank you, you helped me very much", his gratitude was sincere, she told a lot.

"Of course, it's you, so no problem!", cheerfulness came back to her in an instance, "Call me whenever you need me", she smiled, playful and mischievous as always.

"Will do", he didn't hold back his own smile. She meant well and helped so much, he was thankful.

——————

The next day he warned Touko-san that he may be late for lunch at breakfast.

"Oh, that's not good. Are you planning to go see friends?"

"Something like that", he nodded, uncomfortable with almost lie.

"Then wait a bit, I'll pack you something", she fussed over the kitchen after a loving kiss on the top of his head, and he couldn't find it in himself to refuse her care.

"I put a bit more, so share with your friends, okay? That's a new recipe and I wanted to test it". The woman wrapped his bento in blue fabric and gave it to him.

"Will do, Touko-san", he felt something warm clutch his heart. He didn't know what he did to deserve such good people as her and Shigeru-san. He waved her goodbye and hastened his bike.

Nyanko-sensei jumped in the bascet on the front, grumbling.

"You always meddle in other people's problems, brat, one day it will bite you back", Takashi waited till the cat made himself comfortable and then began to ride.

"I know, Sensei", his answer was quiet, "But I can't leave it just like that. I want to help, and I need to know what's happened".

The cat huffed, but didn't say anything else.

The ride till a shop and then the hospital took him less than half an hour. Even easier was to get access to Ryuuzan, when he said he was visiting a friend.

"Ward B, Room 326, third floor", the nurse at the reception waved him to the stairs, "The room's to the left".

"Thank you", he nodded and took the stairs

"Sensei, behave", he scolded the cat, who obviously didn't like the hospital smell. The cat tsk-ed, but didn't make any other move.

Takashi looked up the names, searching the one they needed. The fourth room was it.

"I'm sorry, is this Koonaku Ryuuzan's room?" he knocked and asked behind the door.

"Yes, come in", the male voice answered.

Takashi let Nyanko-sensei on the floor and pushed the door.

It was a usual hospital room, full of artificial lights and sterile white, though more habited than he expected. A teen older than him by a year or two sat on the bed, with a folded book on his lap.

"I'm Natsume Takashi, your cousin Kitamoto Atsushi's friend", under a measuring and curious look he decided that it is better to introduce himself first.

"Ah, that Natsume!", Ryuuzan exclaimed, and it took all Takashi's willpower to not flinch away, "Atsu talks a lot about you", a smile graced his face.

"Yeah", Takashi took a shuddered breath. This choice of words… "It's me".

"Why did you come?"

Now that Ryuuzan knew his name, he seemed to warm up a bit.

"I heard you got a trauma. Kitamoto worries and I worry about him", he answered honestly, it seemed like the best way to get to good graces of this upperclassman, "I brought you fruits and bento", he held out the bag in his hands.

"It's nice of you", Ryuuzan nodded, taking them, "Though I really don't understand why come here".

Something bitter leaked in his voice and Natsume's heart clenched. That… was too similar to the old him for his liking.

He took a deep breath.

"I wanted to say that believe in you", Takashi said, firm and almost strict, "Kitamoto is strong and tough, and he said he got it from you. I know him, and I believe that someone like him won't break. I'm sure you will heal and come back to family, friends, and school, and I wanted to say this", his knuckles were white from the grip force, and face flushed with awkwardness, but a startled chuckle from Ryuuzan drew his attention.

"So my cousin was right about you being a softie", Ryuuzan outright laughed at Takashi's dumbfounded face, "He often said you're kind to a fault, now I am sure it's true", Ryuuzan's smile was warm and sincere, "Thank you. Really. My family is too scared, my friends guilt themselves, and it gets… You know, heavy", he waved his hand with a grimace, "You are the first to say that and really mean it. So, thank you", Ryuuzan bowed his head.

Natsume bit his lip. This was a lot harder than he anticipated.

"I… don't know what to say", he admitted.

Ryuuzan huffed and gave a small smile.

"Do you want to hear what happened? I promise to be absolutely honest", he quirked lips and put the book on the bedtable, eyes sad but clear.

"If you are comfortable with it", Natsume nodded.

Ryuuzan took a second to sigh deeply.

"I and my friends were walking down the forest. Our biology teacher gave us a project, so we needed to find one certain type of flowers and bring them to the school for the research. We were looking for them on the mountain where she said they would probably be, but found little to none, so we decided to search on another slope, too. We found that clearing where the left shrine is, and looked around. There were a lot, but still not enough. I suggested we look in the shrine's yard too, there must have been a lot, since it's not tended. No one wanted to come in, and I decided to do it myself. I thought it wouldn't be difficult, so went through the gates and in the yard. I must say, it looked strange, like it was actually tended, but flowers were still there. I kneeled to dig them up, heard a snake hissing, and then nothing".

Natsume kept himself from scowling, but didn't manage to keep away the gentle scolding tone of voice usually reserved for the Little Fox.

"Did you step on the god's path?"

Ryuuzan looke up, perplexed, but under Natsume's serious gaze he scowled trying to remember.

"I don't know", he answered hesitantly, "I mean, I know not to stop there, but I was tired and a bit angry back then from all the walking and digging", he scowled deeper, "Yeah, I did step", he nodded, "It was unintentional, and I didn't think much of it".

Natsume heaved a sigh, shaking his head. Oh, at least he wasn't doing it on purpose.

"You really shouldn't have", Takashi said, "Even if a god forgives you, it's a tradition, and they have a reason for existence".

"I know", Ryuuzan nodded, too serious and understanding for a usual human, even a superstitious one, "I know it may look strange what I say, but I think it's a yokai's doing", he motioned to his legs, "You know, even if the shrine was left by people, no one said the gods left it".

Natsume looked at Ryuuzan and suddenly smiled. This may become easier.

"I think you're right", he said, "You should say you're sorry, just do it so you are heard".

Ryuuzan huffed, but didn't take eyes off Natsume. For a minute they just looked each other dead in the eye.

"You are right", Ryuuzan said, loud and decisive, "I will!"

"Ok", Takashi nodded, "You didn't mean any harm, so I don't think it will be hard to get your forgiveness".

Ryuuzan nodded yet again and fell silent, looking out in the window.

"You know, I once saw a yokai, I think", he says, low and unsure, "It was a frog, a really big one, its leg was broken and the poor thing was freezing in the night. I took the frog in, fed it and tied a lace around the broken leg. The next morning it wasn't there, instead was a small grey stone", Ryuuzan reached to his neck and showed him a twined with black leather cord stone, "It seems to bring luck. Nothing big, a question I know on the test or a lucky roll in a game, but..." he shrugged, "You know, it doesn't look like something normal".

Natsume tilted his head to the side. It must have been Misuzu, and the frog was his head servant. No wonder the yokai was generous with Ryuuzan, he took care of his underlings.

"I think I understand", he said.

——————

Later, after bidding farewell to Ryuuzan, Takashi headed for the shrine. There was a little money left in his wallet, so he bought two onigiri in a shop on the way to the mountain. Nyanko-sensei could be insufferable when cranky.

"Eat, sensei, I'm sure it will make you feel better", he pushed one of the onigiris to the cat.

"You better havve bought a good one, or else", mumbled his bodyguard, taking the first bite, "Not the best, but bearable", he huffed and proceeded to chew down the whole thing in less than two minutes.

Takashi shook head, smile exasperated, but fond nonetheless.

"Let's hurry, I don't want to be late for lunch", he said, feeding the last bits to his cat.

"Yeah, Touko-san promised to cook stew, so hurry up, slow Natsume!" Nyanko-sensei grumbled, jumping on the bike.

"Then don't distract me", Takashi sprinted down the road.

An hour and a half later he stood on the clearing, cradling Nyanko-sensei to his chest, the shrine walls high and intimidating, covered in vines, and gates open. The road inside, covered in stone flags, swept clean of leaves and twigs.

"Mekoguro is really a loyal servant", Takashi said stepping forward and letting go of the cat, "Sensei, don't intervene, unless I call you, ok?"

"What are you thinking of, Natsume?" his bodyguard narrowed his yellow eyes.

"I want to talk to Mekoguro and try to convince him to take his charms off Ryuuzan", explained Takashi, "And I need peaceful atmosphere for that", his soft chiding tone made the cat huff in annoyance, but nothing else.

"Ok, deal", Nyanko-sensei agreed with a sigh, and jumped upwards, turning into his true form with a big cloud of smoke. Natsume can't help his smile: Sensei really can't just say he cares, can he?

He stepped in the yard, through the gates to the left. There was the washing stand, and he was going through the usual routine, when he heard a male voice calling him.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" displeasure and hostility in lilt.

Takashi turned and saw Mekoguro, same to the illusion Hinoe had shown him. Dark blue kimono with black snakes on the sleeves and a bright yellow obi, same color as his hair, tied in a high ponytail, a sword on his back and long green-grey snake tail instead of legs. His eyes, that shade of dull yellow-green you would usually see on snakes only, were sharp and bore a threat.

"My name is Natsume Takashi and I came to talk to you", he bowed his head in greeting.

"Natsume?" Mekoguro scowled, "Are you that obnoxious girl, loitering around to bind yokai?" he gripped the hem of his sword.

"No, that was my grandmother, she is already dead", Takashi shook head, raising hands in a placating gesture, long ago resigned to being mistaken for his grandmother.

Mekoguro scowled, but his face cleared a second later.

"You are that brat giving names back", he hummed under his breath and let his hand slide back down.

Takashi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He will be a brat for the spirits even on his grave bed, they are just too much older.

"That would be me", he nodded.

"Why did you come here?" Mekoguro repeated his question, "Your kin didn't take neither mine nor my mistress' name".

"I wanted to ask you to take your punishment off from the last human you did it to", told Takashi, mentally preparing for a long bargain.

"No", was the short, aggressive and decisive answer he got. He sighed. Yes, it was going to be difficult, "He insulted my mistress. He will know better".

"He didn't do it intentionally", Takashi tried to reason, "He regrets his actions".

"As he should", stone-cold voice, "Humans still teach their young basics. It is the easiest rule. To comply to it one does not need to be clever, just walk one's road".

Takashi heaved another sigh. 'Let's try Hinoe's advice', he thought tiredly.

"I understand and I will punish him for such behavior, but he will not be able to serve his punishment without legs", he said in one breath.

Mekoguro inclined his head, looking him in the eye with contemplation.

"Is he yours?" he asked after a minute of silence, nervous to no end on Natsume's side.

"He is the kin of one of mine, he is my charge", explained Takashi.

"Then why did you not teach them better?" the spirit was angered, it showed in his pursed lips and whitening skin, "The yokai of Yatsuhara sing praises to you and your knowledge and you can't do this?"

"I didn't know about his existence till yesterday", Takashi answered, keeping himself calm and collected.

"You should take care of your human part of retinue better", Mekoguro parried, "Most of them are ignorant at best".

"I will", Natsume nodded. 'Good, seems like he's ready to bargain'.

"Then…" Mekoguro suddenly froxe, tense like tight strings, "Orokimaru-sama?.." his eyes widened with disbelief as he looked behind Takashi.

Natsume turned in a moment and saw a woman standing in gates. Her hair was swept back, but as she stepped in, Natsume was sure in his recognition. This was the goddess of the shrine, the woman he saw two days ago by the river.

Her blouse and long skirt turned to colorful heian clothes, long black hair freely falling on her back as walked in the middle of the road.

"Mekoguro", she greeted her servant, eyeing him with care and love, "You kept your promise".

"Orokimaru-sama", the yokai stepped forward and knelt before her, bowing his head, "You came back. Will you stay in this humble shrine? ".

The goddess smiled, sad and rueful, and gestured him to stand up, but the yokai didn't obey. Takashi bit his lip; he had a bad premonition about her visit.

"No, my little snake", Mekoguro jerked upright, shocked, "I came to say farewell".

Silence reigned in the shrine. Takashi turned towards the forest and took three steps back. This was a private moment, and he didn't want to intrude.

"My time has come to the end, Mekoguro. Humans forgot about me fully and even the sacred village can't protect me. Without their belief I'm fading". The goddess waved her fan and closed her face with it.

Mekoguro gripped his kimono, hunching lower.

"No one?" he whispered, "Not a single one? They all forgot your grace and all your good deeds for them?" his weak voice filled venom, fury, and desperation.

Takashi sighed. He needed to ask for the goddess' help, she could talk her servant out of punishing Ryuuzan. But right now, with how angry the yokai was at humans…

"They do not believe in gods and yokai now", her voice was soothing, pacifying, "I an no major god, just a guardian goddess of Yatsuhara".

Mekoguro gritted his teeth, "But Orokimaru-sama!.."

"Hush, my little snake", she kneeled before him and enclosed in a hug, shielding him with long sleeves of her robe, "Everything will turn out fine".

Quiet sobs and soothing murmuring could be heard, if you strained your ears, but Takashi turned on his heels, back to the entangled couple. He had basic decency, after all.

Takashi waited in silence until he was called.

"Natsume Takashi" the goddess addressed him with a nod, "Why did you come to my shrine? I believe you were notified that your kin did not bind any of us".

"Orokimaru-sama", Takashi politely bowed, "I came to ask for mercy on one of the humans in my charge", he chose words to be absolutely polite. The goddess did not look aggressive, even forbade to kill humans, but still better safe than sorry.

"What did your human do, Natsume Takashi?" the goddess waved them to a small pond, "I believe it must be serious for you to intervene".

"What do you mean?" Takashi couldn't help but tense at her choice of words: if it was small, he would not intervene? Or that he would intervene only if it turned dangerous?

"Spirit world is small, tales of your deeds reach the sacred village rather often", the goddess gave a quiet chuckle, seeing him flush, "They say you protect yokai from humans, from exorcists, you help them, and they love and follow you in turn", her smile was serene and sincere, "You help yokai reach for the humans they got affectionate to, you protect Yatsuhara, both its humans and yokai", she sat on a small bench by the pond and gestured on the same one beside, while Mekoguro took place to her right. Takashi took his seat, "So I believe it must be a serious issue to lead you here".

Takashi fell silent, not knowing what to say. She held him in high regard, it was crystal clear, and his usual actions would fall in the pattern she described, but this request he bore… Was egotistical in comparison to the others. Would it be for worse?

"The human in my charge unintentionally insulted you by the action of stepping on the god's path”, the goddess stilled, “He did not bear any ill will and regrets his actions," he added hastily, "At this time he is serving punishment of your servant Mekoguro's choice. He cannot walk despite having two good legs. I came to make amends in his stead".

The goddess scowled and didn't answer, slowly fanning herself all the while. At last, several minutes of tense silence later, she sighed and shook her head.

"I am ready to forgive this foolish human of yours, but you must promise to teach them better. Not every spirit will forgive them, be it intentional or not", she said slowly, "And I have a question for you, Natsume Takashi", she told seriously, looking in his eyes, "What is Yatsuhara for you?"

Takashi blinked, surprised by her sudden change in the topic of talk. But her gaze alone told him he must think his answer through.

But… The answer was not far away. Yatsuhara was the place he found the peace of heart in, where he bonded with many people and spirits, where the cold of inside changed into the warm embrace of family and friends.

His answer was simple.

"Yatsuhara is my home", he said, pulling his heart into his words, "The place I feel peace and safe in. I want it to remain so".

The goddess smiled at him and nodded.

"Then I know your price I will take the punishment away for", she said, prim and regal all of the sudden, "You will take over my duty of the guardian god of Yatsuhara, become thou yourself, and for this I will forgive your human".

Takashi froze. Become the guardian god of Yatsuhara? What?

"I beg your pardon", his voice rose from sheer bewilderment, "What?"

"Become the guardian God of Yatsuhara", the goddess repeated, "And I will forgive your human".

"But… That is impossible", he shook his head, "A human cannot be turned into a god".

"Who said so?", Orokimaru-sama inclined her head, "This knowledge is forbidden for most, but there is a way".

"But why me?" he pointed at himself, "I honestly doubt I am fit for this position".

To turn into god? That was the last thing he would expect from coming here. Maybe owe a favor, some object, but this never even came into his mind. This was really really not the best idea in his life.

And seething Mekoguro behind his goddess was clearly of the same mind, taking in account his pinched face.

"But why think so?" she gave a sad laugh, startling both males, "You have already been performing the duties without realizing", she said, rueful lilt to her voice, that made his heart squeeze, "You keep Yatsuhara safe and in peace, help and get respect from spirits. All you lack for the title of the guardian god is power and your human shackle not being the body of a god", she motioned her fan towards him, "And this I can change at your agreement".

Natsume kept silent, too shell-shocked by the offer.

The goddess snapped her fingers, catching his attention.

“I understand that this is a sudden proposition, and you have all the rights to doubt its usefulness, but let me clear some of your concerns”, she fanned herself, looking at Takashi sharply, “You will be able to age together with your human lot of retinue. Maybe slower, but nonetheless, you will be able to keep your human life. You won't need to eat and sleep, but can if you so desire. Your appearance will change a bit, more refined and fair. It is probable that you will be able to communicate with snakes and command them, that's my ability I intend to pass to you. You will be able to have children. Otherwise, your life won't change all that much, and yokai will be much more respectful. Your family treasure will be in more safety then because you will have all Yatsuhara to back you up against aggressors", the goddess takes Takeshi's hand in his, and now that her face is close, he sees it.

The jawline. The face's oval. The shape of her eyes. It's not much, and if he didn't look for it, he would've never noticed.

It's almost identical to his grandmother's features.

"You..." he doesn't have words. It can't be...

"I was your ancestor, your grandmother's great-great-great-grandmother, to be precise. Soon after I took up the mantle of the guardian goddess, there was a big conflict", the goddess — his ancestor, he can't believe his ears, "And my family was erased", the bitterness and echo of grief in her voice make his heart clench.

"But not all of them?" he asked. If there was him and his grandmother, then someone lived through.

"Yes. My youngest sister, the baby of age four. She hid under the ruins of our home for three days and then run as far as she could. She ended up living in Hokkaido", the goddess took a sharp breath, "I didn't know of it, I thought all my family had died, until Reiko came here", the goddess fell silent for a few moments.

"But she was gone too quickly. When I came looking for her, she already disappeared, and no one knew where to find her. There were many who remembered her, but no one close".

"Yeah", Natsume couldn't help a weak smile, "I was told she had a habit of doing it".

"I tried to find her, but to no avail. My powers were seeping rapidly, and I had to come back to the sacred village. I tried sending my snakes to look for her, but they are no yokai, they couldn't find her", the goddess gripped his hand stronger, "I lost my claim as the guardian goddess of Yatsuhara when I entered the sacred village and now can only pass it to the next holder. So please, accept this offer of mine", she pleaded, earnestly and so sincere, "I looked for you here, when I understood who you are, and yesterday I found you. I was never so happy, when I knew — my family is alive. You are alive", she exhales, trying to reign in her emotions, before speaking again, more firmly now, "I know I didn't make it in time to save you from so many hurts, but in this last moments I want to do my best to make sure that you live your life fully. I want to you to be happy, safe and live a long life that will be filled with your laughter. You are a child of my family, mine in all aspects that matter".

Natsume can't help it. Tears slide down his face, he can't stop them, and he's not sure he wants to.

This goddess is his family, family who wants him happy and healthy just because he is it — family. She could go away freely; bide goodbye only to her servant, and fade from this world. She didn't have to, and yet she did, because she cared for her family — for what left of it. And she would go away, just as she came because it her time. He thought absentmindedly that he understood the yokai who knew Reiko better.

"Hush, dear, it will turn out good", she wiped his tears and smiled, "Remember, I love you. No matter your choice, I love you, child mine, and nothing in this world will change it. I'm so proud of you, words can't describe it. You turned out so beautiful, kind and bright, oh how much I want to tell my father about you, we would all be so happy", Orokimaru cupped his face, "Never forget this words, child mine".

Natsume nods and swallows the lump in his throat.

"I won't. And I accept your offer", he squeezes her hand and smiles, "Let's do it".

Orokimaru nods in turn and takes his another hand in hers.

"It can hurt a bit, like needles in your fingertips", she warned him and began.

The wind swirled around them, and Natsume felt the itch in his hands, but held on.

She opened her mouth and breathed out. A small yellowy-grey cloud came out.

"Breath it in through mouth", he was commanded, and complied.

It felt strange on his tongue — like cotton candy Nishimura bought for all of them on the last festival, just salty and mild.

"Breath out and kneel with me", Orokimaru turned his hands so that his back of hands was turned up and hers down.

It felt strange, as if a small warm ball formed between their hands. It wasn't unpleasant, more like a small bird in hands, just not fluffy. The feeling changed as the ball cooled to cold.

"Put your hands together and concentrate. When you feel it's time, breath out into them and push towards sky", Orokimaru let his hands go and smiled reassuringly. Her hair slid down shoulder when she siddenly teetered to left, pale and gasping for air.

"Orokimaru-sama!" Mekoguro gripped her shoulders, steading her, with panick on his face. Natsume tried to reach out for her, but she cut both of them out.

"Do not worry", she clasped Mekoguro's hand, and nodded curtly to Natsume, "Continue".

He pursed his lips, holding her gaze until she sighed and relaxed into her servant's hold. Only then did he revert his attention back to the ethereal ball in his hands.

It is still cold, not quite pleasant against his skin. He brings it closer to his mouth and exhales into his palms. Suddenly the warm air is swirling in circles inside, coating the ball, and the next thing he knows is that the yellowy-gray ball changes its color to pale green with darker specs. He feels the pull to let it go, to fly high and reach all land, and raises his hands, letting go of the ball.

It flies off his hands and rises above trees. Soft dull glow grows brighter and soon it looks like there're two suns. And then it explodes, showering them with tiny green sparkles. Winds are curling around Takashi, flapping his shirt's tails, like playful kittens, when Nyanko-sensei roars, entering the shine grounds with loud swish and lands beside him. His fangs bared, crouched pose, ready to fight any moment, the inugami was quite a fear-inducing sight.

"Nyanko-sensei!" Natsume exclaimed, stunned to his very core, when his guardian snarled at Mekoguro, who tried to unsheathe his sword. This was a goddess before them! There's no way he didn't scoop this before coming here! He was confronting a goddess, albeit well-meaning and not prone to antagonizing them, but Nyanko-sensei didn't know it, and yet put himself between the threat and him. Natsume doesn't even try to contain his gratitude and happiness, hugging his guardian and nuzzling into soft white fur.

"Don't worry, sensei", murmurs he, "They don't mean harm".

"As if you would know, brat", huffs the inugami, but still relaxes a bit, coiling his long tail around his charge.

"Your guard is admittedly loyal, I see", Orokimaru chuсkles, "Good. Now I can go, that you're in good hands", she holds out her hand, and Natsume kneels to take it and stand eye to eye with her. Her figure bleaks with every moment — it's time for her to go, "You are a good boy, my child, with tender heart and pure soul. You will do just fine. Don't forget my words. I will always love you, Natsume Takashi, child of my family", her smile is quiet, all motherly love and care, and sad, "Forgive me for not finding you earlier and leaving so soon. If I had a say, I wouldn't leave your side", she squeezes his hand stronger.

"You came to find me", he can't say it doesn't matter; these years when he suffered thrown from one family relative to another as if some sort of stinky ball did hurt him. But she searched for him, cared and loved just because he was her family, she did her best to protect him, and he will never forget it, "I forgive you".

"Thank you", with smile on her lips, she closes her eyes, dispersing into nothing but flare of dim sparkles that disappear high in the sky.

Natsume brings his hand in closer — it holds a simple white jade ring, that was on Orokimaru's left hand. He smiles — he is glad to have at least this much of her left for memories.

Takashi sighs out. He is tired. With all this running and worrying and rituals he didn't notice, but a good part of his energy's gone now.

"I'm tired. Let's go home, sensei", Natsume climbs on a silently offered back of the inugami, "I'll come here tomorrow, Mekoguro. Could you please prepare everything necessary for the commemoration? And, about your curse on my charge… " he asks the yokai. He doesn’t know if it is a usable practice for spirits, but he wants to say farewell to her as is just, and commemoration is a good choice for it, in his opinion.

"I will immediately take it away, my lord, and begin the preparations", Mekoguro bows.

Natsume sighs again. And this.

"We will talk about everything else later. For now, let's go".

Nyanko-sensei leaps towards the sky, and winds billow in his hair.

#natsumess2019 #pondlilies00 #fanfic #Natsume Takashi

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fuanteinasekai · 5 years

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Ur posts made me realize just how unintentionaly insensitive Taki is about Natsume especially compared to Tanuma & how the anime keeps erasing it. Tanuma who's as slender as Natsume,just taller, was added to Takis episode where Kai thought Natsume was after him & his friends called him names like beanpole which depressed Natsume. Tanuma & Taki laughed at him but in the manga it was only Taki. Tanuma however in Shibata chapter was: Natsume is not a beanpole! at same time Natsume defended him too

Feel better soon! A moment toned down & cut in half is, 1st time Natsume teased Tanuma & Tanuma teased right back in ch 66-67. Anime is more gentle,Natsume is sweet & Tanuma is mostly suprised & little embarassed. Manga Natsume's expression is priceless, SMIRK, & Tanuma's too, "somehow that really pisses me off". Then Tanuma's teasing, his HEH~ looked very pleased that the girl run away from Natsume & he also blushed along with Natsume who was flustered.Ofc they cut it, but its about women too?

Hello, nonnies, I hope it’s okay I put these together! I felt they were sort of related.

First of all, I forgot but you’re right, Nonny1! Taki really did think that was hilarious. She’s literally shaking, trying to hold in her laughter. At least she tried? But this is a great example of how Taki was never the delicate, sensitive flower the anime tries to make her. Cookies ≠ delicate.

Kai is apologizing here for calling Natsume “a pervert, a beansprout, and a cutting board.” (The depression part was earlier.) It’s really kinda genuinely terrible? Tanuma has teased Natsume before, so I don’t want to completely rule out him laughing at something this absurd, but you’re right he also got offended at a very similar insult: Shibata’s ひょろひょろ is a variation on Kai’s friends’ ひょろ男. The former means “tall and skinny” in a gangly, awkward way, and the second means the same thing but attached to the word for “male”. So basically, “scrawny” vs “scrawny-boy.” This is what was translated as “beanpole.” It’s actually quite sweet that they got offended on each other’s behalf, isn’t it? Natsume is very sensitive to the “skinny” remarks, but he was more upset at the idea that they were directed at Tanuma.

Interestingly, I feel like this story was actually peak Natsume/Taki. It had that scene where Natsume was watching Kai with Taki, and wondered whether he would “ever come to care for people earnestly” or “ever be able to make a family.” He clearly doesn’t come to any conclusion about who he would do that with, but given the context of Taki and Kai, it’s easy to see how it might be subtextually pointing at Taki as future wife.

But that never goes anywhere, and the further the manga gets along after this, the more Taki sort of… retreats relative to Tanuma.

In fact, the timing of this is really interesting to me, because it’s literally the very next story after Tanuma’s special. In the author’s notes for that special, Midorikawa-sensei describes the way Tanuma and Natsume don’t exactly behave according to plan:

久しぶりに田沼の話です。もうすっかりつうかあの中になってると思って描き始めてみたら思っていたより二人ともモジモジしていました。笑ってあたりさわりのない話をする夏目は描き慣れているのですが咄嗟の判断をしそこなう夏目が描けて楽しかったです。妖に関わってる時の夏目は田沼のところに来ないので、必然的に描く機会の少ないキャラクターですが描けてよかったです。

“It’s been a while since we had a Tanuma story. I thought [Tanuma and Natsume] would already be on completely the same wavelength, but when I tried to start drawing [the story] they were both more shy than I thought. I’m used to drawing a Natsume who smiles and takes care not to offend, but I enjoyed being able to draw a Natsume who makes bad snap judgments. Natsume doesn’t visit Tanuma when he’s involved with yōkai, so I was glad to be able to draw a character that I inevitably don’t get many chances to draw.”

Yes, you read that correctly. She literally started the story without realizing how awkward they were going to be. Makes me wonder what the original story was going to be. Oh, and モジモジ means “hesitant” or “restlessly unable to do things one wants to, due to reserve or embarrassment.” I thought “shy” was more natural in this context. It’s very similar to the concept of そわそわ “restlessness” in that trolly post-Omibashira author’s note, but more appropriate for boys who haven’t known each other long. Also, the “not on the same wavelength” is the same. So really, that later note is basically an update saying “STILL AWKWARD. STILL NOT ACKNOWLEDGING WHY.”

Anyway.

Considering the timing, and considering how much the above reads like a crush, part of me can’t help but wonder if the Taki and Kai scene was an experiment by Midorikawa-sensei to see whether she could get another character to compete with that tone without forcing it. (She couldn’t.)

@Nonny2: Thank you! I’m feeling much better now.

I hadn’t re-watched the whole ep for comparison, so I had missed that the second part was gone. So much lost! Manga Tanuma almost looks like he thinks it’s cute that Natsume can’t handle children, though technically he’s snerking. It’s the same face (and sound) Natsume makes when he goes “pfft” at Taki’s cross-dressing photo.

For what it’s worth, the dialog in that “You’re really popular, Tanuma” scene is actually the same, though as you say the anime softened up the delivery. Anime Natsume almost looks shy, but Manga Natsume looks evil! lol The scanlators and the subtitlers just handled the translation differently. (The official manga translation… didn’t even try. ) A couple of things:

The word Natsume uses for “popular” is モテる. This is slightly untranslatable as there is no direct English equivalent. The literal meaning is similar to “you’ve really got it” and it denotes a specific type of popularity. There’s a character in another manga who translates this himself as being “BIG.” It’s a really funny scene where it’s translated this way, but the point is モテる is kind of a rock star sort of popularity. It’s generally associated with the opposite sex due to heteronormativity, but even outside of that it can refer to non-sexual popularity as long as there’s a suggestion that people make a fuss over you. In this context, I think it’s clear that Natsume is pulling on the heteronormative meaning because, well… He’s basically saying “You’re really popular with the ladies!” except the ladies are Tanuma’s aunt and a grandmotherly figure. Little snot. haha

The part where the translations diverge is 腹立つ which literally means, er, your stomach is rising. “Get angry” is the default translation (think of the way your stomach clenches when something sets you off), but in context I think it makes more sense to go with “to be offended.”

So:

“You’re really popular with ladies, Tanuma.” [Evil Smirk]“Uggghhhh. That’s kind of offensive.” *Note “ugh” is actually “crap” but it doesn’t flow as well in English.

It’s basically the equivalent of saying “you’re a jerk” to a friend who’s messing with you, but just to acknowledge their teasing and not because you’re actually mad.

It reminds me of someone—I don’t remember who—saying that you know a Japanese person is your friend when they start making fun of you. We really don’t see a lot of that with others, do we? He’s comfortable enough to bicker with Nishimura and laugh when he’s ridiculous, and Taki is arguably teasing when she gives him his Awkward Photo where he’s “dressed up all cute.” But I can’t remember him actively teasing anyone but Tanuma. Natsume’s so used to trying to be super-polite to appease everyone, he must be really stepping outside of his comfort zone to take a social risk like that. It really shows how much they trust each other.

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