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parsnipwike · 4 years

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ANTICIPATORY GRIEF

This may be a long post (so I hope you’re sitting comfortably!) as I try and explain what I’m going through, which doesn’t fit your typical grief journey. . But I’m hoping if I open up about it others may think ‘ah that’s what I feel/felt’ and not feel so alone.

Four years ago I met Parsnip, fell in love, sold all of my tweed and bought a pony. She is my entire world, my reason for getting up in the morning, why I go to work (man are they expensive!!) she is my therapy, my escape, my best friend and my soul pony.

I always knew that if she passed away I would find it difficult, but she’s only young and we hopefully have a good 20 years left together if all goes smoothly. But last year was a huge wake up call, we thought there was a deadly horse disease on our yard and it was a pony that had shared the same field as Parsnip that was being tested. The realisation hit me hard that if Parsnip had caught it she would have to be put to sleep and I couldn’t cope with that.

My brain went into over drive, I didn’t want to live if she died, I had everything planned out. How I would go. The tests came back and thankfully it wasn’t what we had all thought, everything went back to normality. Apart from my head space. I kept thinking about how I wouldn’t cope if she died suddenly. I didn’t know who to talk to and I became really low and reclused. I struggled.

A month ago my Manager pulled me to one side and asked me how I was doing as she was worried about me. I broke down and said I wasn’t coping at all. She suggested I phone our Employee Assistance Program and talk to someone.

I’m so glad I did. I wasn’t expecting a real human to answer, but he did and he listened. I told him about Parsnip and my anticipatory grief, not wanting to be here if she died suddenly, about missing my Grandad who passed away with Motor Neurone Disease 5 years ago. At age 15 how I watched someone run over my puppy and pop her head whilst I was riding my horse Silver, he didn’t see me, my horse, or my dog on the road. The trauma that followed from that horrific day.

He referred me for 6 free therapy sessions with a trained counsellor to talk through it all and I’m so thankful that he did.

I’ve started my journey of talking about how anticipatory grief makes me feel, looking at where it stems from and ways to cope if I suddenly lost Parsnip unexpectedly. It’s scary, emotionally draining and at times really lonely, but I really want to make this a positive journey and if I can help anyone else on the way, that would make me happy too. Here is to the start of my blogs, I hope you get something out of them and if you need someone to talk to I’m only a message away.

If you want a laugh, check out our Instagram for pony selfies. #ParsnipWike

Liv

#AnticipatoryGrief #Grief #MyGriefJourney #NormaliseTalkingAboutGrief #ParsnipWike #AnimalGrief #PonySelfie

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forever--and--always-yours · 5 years

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Not your family could save you.

Not your closest friends.

Not even your ex girlfriend(s) could save you that night.

Only me.

But I wasn't there.

But I felt it.

#love #quote #grief #loss #grief quotes #griefjourney #griefsupport #husband #grieving #mygrief #mygriefjourney #mourning

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abroadwithacamera · 3 years

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#abroadwithacamera September 3, 2017 was a sunny Sunday and one of many days we would wander through downtown Vancouver. I remember this moment as dad sat to my left while we took a break and enjoyed one of our many #aandw meals. These quiet, small moments are as treasured as the big moments. #lifeafterloss #lossofaparent #mygriefjourney #morelovethanpain (at A&W Canada) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRRd1SnMgfm/?utm_medium=tumblr

#abroadwithacamera #aandw #lifeafterloss #lossofaparent #mygriefjourney #morelovethanpain

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photothx · 4 years

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Dear First Big Step, It’s been a while, but I’m finally ready to take you — my first big step toward healing. Losing my mom over 2 months ago has been so hard on me. Until today, I haven’t been able to write it all down because every time I tried, I’d break down sobbing uncontrollably. But today, I finally transformed my emotions into written word. I’m ready. I’m ready to begin truly healing. I know this will be a long process, but I’m proud to say I’ve finally taken my first big step. Healing slowly, Donna #mygriefjourney #timetoheal #journaltherapy https://www.instagram.com/p/CBJQ2f-BCDe/?igshid=1p6l2gscy9aty

#mygriefjourney #timetoheal #journaltherapy

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ashleylozanojewelry · 4 years

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Holy moly this new Galaxy cremation pendant might be my new fav 😍 All of the photos here are the SAME pendant! Ashleylozano.com>shop>cremation jewelry #cremationjewelry #memorialjewelry #memorialtattoo #mygriefjourney (at Asheville, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9m_n1iHEQD/?igshid=1xrjtr04a7kbf

#cremationjewelry #memorialjewelry #memorialtattoo #mygriefjourney

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karenkedlig · 5 years

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•Min far er død, så i dag savner jeg ham ekstra meget • #nytpåminblog • #linkibio #themonsterofgrief • Hilsen os, der dagligt (forsøger) bærer, vores sorg gennem smil • #brydtabuetsorgerok #ærligetankeromsorg ————————————————————————- #livogdød #63småkærligetanker #sorg #dedødeimitliv #brydtabuet #sorgerok #sorgerokdk #farsdag2019 #ærligetankeromsorg #minfarerdød #minsorgrejse #rejsenderaldrigender #mygriefjourney #griefquotes #imissyoualways #danishblogger🇩🇰 (her: North Denmark Region) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByVoi4hheZN/?igshid=145uy37zbpa0l

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glitterandgrief · 5 years

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😶 “I’m okay”⠀ ⠀ *really is feeling a cycle of #grief on #repeat*⠀ ⠀ #grief #griefsupport #itsokaytonotbeokay #missyoudad #mygriefjourney #repost #reorganizing #mythoughts #instaquote https://www.instagram.com/p/BrjNYLini_x/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=uxdtt88tce5e

#grief #repeat #griefsupport #itsokaytonotbeokay #missyoudad #mygriefjourney #repost #reorganizing #mythoughts #instaquote

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keenaruntherace · 4 years

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Thank you to my friends who sent me sympathy cards, a beautiful paw print bracelet, PM’s, texts, and post comments after the loss of my Kaya Girl. It means the world to me to be loved and comforted by those who truly care. #mygriefjourney💔 #mykayagirl❤️ #soulmatepuppy #loveherforeverandalways (at Pagosa Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CHwGYw1nm-cnLhWjjVGkoPVJ66GyICI3JnDCRU0/?igshid=ztxm3cj2jw8t

#mygriefjourney💔#mykayagirl❤️#soulmatepuppy #loveherforeverandalways

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dragonsandelephants · 6 years

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My boys 💚🐉🐘💙 #MISSingJack💙🐘 #Dragon #kidlife #momlife #rainbowbaby #dreamcometrue #iwasinfertile #stillshocked #adventuresofadragon #dragonsandlephants #adventuremom #mamasboy #boymom #explorearizona #roadtrippin #angelofhope #angelofhopephoenix #mygriefjourney (at Hansen Desert Hills Mortuary)

#adventuremom #rainbowbaby #roadtrippin #boymom #missingjack💙🐘#dreamcometrue #iwasinfertile #angelofhopephoenix #stillshocked #mygriefjourney #adventuresofadragon #dragonsandlephants #mamasboy #dragon #kidlife #momlife #angelofhope #explorearizona

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ashleylozanojewelry · 4 years

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I think I'm in love with that #opal cremation "stone". #cremationring #cremationjewelry #memorialjewelry #ashjewelry #memorialtattoo #mygriefjourney #grief #handmade (at Asheville, North Carolinia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8h1Mc8H53W/?igshid=xelzppbit5cg

#opal #cremationring #cremationjewelry #memorialjewelry #ashjewelry #memorialtattoo #mygriefjourney #grief #handmade

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ashleylozanojewelry · 4 years

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New #cremationring under 100 shipped. Ashleylozano.com #cremationjewelry #ashesring #memorialjewelry #quartz #mygriefjourney #goodgrief https://www.instagram.com/p/B7nMqdcnVK3/?igshid=15mpswg2ouse8

#cremationring #cremationjewelry #ashesring #memorialjewelry #quartz #mygriefjourney #goodgrief

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ashleylozanojewelry · 4 years

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Newly listed! #cremationjewelry #ashesring #cremationring #memorialjewelry #petloss #petgrief #rainbowbridge #memorialtatoo #mygriefjourney #dogsofinstagram #furrbaby https://www.instagram.com/p/B7G72_2BeLT/?igshid=mvuv5usj3841

#cremationjewelry #ashesring #cremationring #memorialjewelry #petloss #petgrief #rainbowbridge #memorialtatoo #mygriefjourney #dogsofinstagram #furrbaby

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ashleylozanojewelry · 4 years

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We hope to see you this Friday, 1/10 from 8-9pm EST. use code ANNUAL2020 to save SITE-WIDE. Custom pieces, animal nose and paw impressions, cremation and memorial pieces, fingerprint jewelry and more. #rainbowbridge #dogsofinstagram #petloss #grief #mygriefjourney #memorial #memorialjewelry #valentines #furrbaby (at Asheville, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7FVEMGhW4U/?igshid=1tjhlzsezw33y

#rainbowbridge #dogsofinstagram #petloss #grief #mygriefjourney #memorial #memorialjewelry #valentines #furrbaby

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ashleylozanojewelry · 5 years

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Sanding saturday. Shout out to @castawaypdx for the excellent castings from my original piece. #cremationjewelry #memorialjewelry #bereavement #mygriefjourney https://www.instagram.com/p/B0ubxTWHkZs/?igshid=1pxfph9jkp9ch

#cremationjewelry #memorialjewelry #bereavement #mygriefjourney

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karenkedlig · 5 years

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• MORS DAG • Hvis i kender nogen, der har mistet et barn, så husk at de altid, vil være MOR • Hvis du har mistet din mor, er jeg sikker på, at du savner lidt mere i dag • ❤️ ————————————————— • Sorg viser os, hvor små vi er • Sorg viser os også, hvor stærke vi er • #sorgerok ———————————————————————— • Hilsen os, der dagligt (forsøger) bærer, vores sorg gennem smil • #brydtabuetsorgerok ———————————————————————— #livogdød #63småkærligetanker #sorg #dedødeimitliv #brydtabuet #sorgerok #sorgerokdk #morsdag2019 #mothersday2019 #tankeromsorg #minsorgrejse #rejsenderaldrigender #ærligetankeromsorg #mygriefjourney #griefquotes #imissyoualways #hvismankanhjælpeandresåskalman #danishblogger🇩🇰 ————————————————————————- (her: GriefShare) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxW5I4cBXf1/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1tyyrikgppe0e

#sorgerok #brydtabuetsorgerok #livogdød #63småkærligetanker #sorg #dedødeimitliv #brydtabuet #sorgerokdk #morsdag2019 #mothersday2019 #tankeromsorg #minsorgrejse #rejsenderaldrigender #ærligetankeromsorg #mygriefjourney #griefquotes #imissyoualways #hvismankanhjælpeandresåskalman #danishblogger🇩🇰

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karenkedlig · 5 years

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• How much Can one loose, and still remain The same • Intet er som før,og det kan være, så svært, at acceptere, for jeg tror mange, der har mistet, længes efter *den de var før * • Jeg gør ihvertfald • Jeg ville ønske, at jeg kunne forblive * #sorgløs men, det er de færreste, der får lov til det • I stedet for, lever vi, eller forsøger, at leve, så godt vi nu hver især kan, med #dedødeivoresliv • ————————————————— Hvis man kan hjælpe andre, så skal man • Sorg viser os, hvor små vi er • Sorg viser os også, hvor stærke vi er • #sorgerok ———————————————————————— • Hilsen os, der dagligt (forsøger) bærer, vores sorg gennem smil • #brydtabuetsorgerok ———————————————————————— #livogdød #63småkærligetanker #sorg #dedødeimitliv #brydtabuet #sorgerok #sorgerokdk #tankeromsorg #minsorgrejse #rejsenderaldrigender #ærligetankeromsorg #mygriefjourney #griefquotes #imissyoualways #hvismankanhjælpeandresåskalman #danishblogger🇩🇰 ————————————————————————- (her: GriefShare) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxUZkBKhH65/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=189sd5i2ofpzt

#sorgløs #dedødeivoresliv #sorgerok #brydtabuetsorgerok #livogdød #63småkærligetanker #sorg #dedødeimitliv #brydtabuet #sorgerokdk #tankeromsorg #minsorgrejse #rejsenderaldrigender #ærligetankeromsorg #mygriefjourney #griefquotes #imissyoualways #hvismankanhjælpeandresåskalman #danishblogger🇩🇰

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