Happy Birthday Kenny South Park/South Paws 🐾

8. Describe one of your most memorable birthdays.

I have no clear memory of any one specific birthday prior to my 16th.  I remember my friends who came to my birthday parties.  I remember Irene Brennan came.  She was the only girl in the neighborhood near my age .  She was two years younger than me.  When Rae Atwood moved to town we became friends and she came to my birthday party but I  have no memory to which birthday it was.  There was not always a party with invited guests but there was always a cake with the family  at least,  I do not remember any specific year, that is, until the year I turned 16.  My brother, Kip was a year and six days older than me so his birthday came on November 7th.  That year my mother allowed us to have a party together, boys and girls.  How exciting.  It was a lavish party for the times.  Mom made a turkey and ham and  homemade bread for sandwiches and of course, cake,

We were all very shy with each other although we had all known each other all our lives. We lived on Wellington Street but prior to this house we lived on Queen Street next door to Patrick Carroll. Kenny  Legros lived two blocks away.  We walked to school every day with Alma Schoff  and met Lynn Hayes and Betty Wilson along the way.  For a while I was fearing we would be sitting with our hands folded in our laps and our legs crossed at our ankles for the entire night.  Kip saved the day.He was into Pop music and we had a stereo.  The dancing began.  We two stepped to everything. It was all we knew.   We were very daring and played , “spin the bottle”.  I think few actually kissed except for Pat Carroll who had red hair and lots  of freckles and he kissed everybody.  It was a great party and our friends said goodnight and thanked us for a great time.  It was my best birthday yet.

I remember my 21st birthday.  I was in Sioux Lookout. I had finished Nursing School and was working at the General Hospital.  I thought about going to a Chicago Hospital and becoming a nurse anesthetist but first I had to save money for tuition.  I felt at very loose ends and wished I had more solid plans.  Shortly after that I met James Wemyss Joss and in June of the following year  we were married and left for Pasadena, Texas.

Again, I have no recollection of specific birthdays. I remember a party at our home on McKinley Street in Camp Springs.  I remember our lifelong friends and neighbors, Jack and Rose Beck were there and we were all trying to learn to do the, ” Twist”  with Chubby Checkers.  A few years later we bought a house on Lansing Drive and I remember the Becks being at another birthday dancing to, “Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Bass”  They were great friends and I still like Herb Alpert.

I remember nothing specific about the day I turned 40 but i do remember thinking there was something freeing about being 40,  There seemed no longer any good reason to be impressed or governed by public opinion.  I was a professional woman.  I was not given to rash decisions or impulsive behavior.  I could be free and feel confident I would not ‘go off the rails”.  I no longer  was going to be governed by what others thought.  i could depend on my own good judgement.

I remember my 60th birthday.  My children had a party for me at a very nice restaurant in Hopkinton, NH.  My old and dear friends, the Becks were there.  They wore black arm bands that said, “We are here out of respect for the elderly”.  They were always great fum.  Hillary and Anne played their flutes and were given a round of applause by the other diners.   

At the age of 63 I was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma and felt very concerned that I would not see my grandchildren into adulthood.  I had two  unsuccessful rounds of chemo and then went to Dana Farber and was seen by Dr Arnold Freedman.  I did an experimental treatment with Retuxin and DNA and that was the answer..  i continued to be followed by Dr Freedman for several years and my children were certain it was only because I really liked Dr. Freedman.. There was some truth to that.  I felt very well, had no signs of relapse and I really did like my doctor.

As I approached my 80th birthday I was living in Heather and John’s duplex in Surfside, SC.  They had sold their house on Carter Street in Concord and needed  a place to live until John retired in March. They moved into my house on Mountain Road  and drove me and my car to SC.  It was a 6 block walk to the beach and I did that every morning trying to catch the beautiful sunrise over the Atlantic. As my birthday neared, Heather drove down and we came back to Concord together.  My birthday was wonderful  I was infinitely happy to be with all my family.  we had a great dinner at Fanueil Hall in Boston and then went on to a dance show at the Shubert.  Jaylyn treated me to a night at the  “Ritz”  It was a grand celebration  and despite my advanced age i felt well.  

  Heather drove me and my  car back to Surfside.  Heather bought a house on 1st Street.  It had been a rental for years and the yard suffered from complete neglect.  That turned out to be fortuitous as there was much gardening needed.  It was while I was raking that the neighbor introduced himself and invited me to have dinner with them .  This was my introduction to Lou  and Denise Rubenstein.  They introduced me to Brookgreen Gardens an incredible 900 acres of magnificent gardens and bronze sculptures by American artists.  Augustus St. Gauden’s, “Diana” is there as well as hundreds of others.  I visited Brookgreen often and never tired of it.  Denise introduced me to “the dirty girls”.  These were her fellow volunteer gardeners at Brookgreen.  They remain good friends and have visited me in Concord on their way to a vacation in Maine

I’m now approaching my 87th birthday.  I have had Parkinson’s for many years.  It is mild but i’m beginning to sorely miss my usual cognitive skills.. I have a heart defect,  a ventricular hypertrophy which is hereditary and one of the anomalies associated with Ebstein’s Anomaly. I hope I’m the last to  have this concern..  I have no fear of what is in store.  I have had a good life with a wonderful family’  I have loved much and feel i’ve been loved more.

Not that this would ever happen, but I like rolling around the idea of fancasts in my head, so here’s some ideas for an Omori fancast (I used mostly anime VAs since they tend to do video games too). I’ll put a couple roles next to the names in case you don’t recognize them so you can look them up:

Main Cast

Sunny/Omori - I mean. This VA would get Persona levels of “no actual voice lines”, since neither of these characters speak until the last 5% of the game, but still… I saw someone suggest Kyle McCarley (Hyde Kido from UNIB, Shinji from Fate/stay night, Narancia from JJBA: Golden Wind) for this, and even if I weren’t a huge fan of Kyle, I still would choose him for this. It’s actually a really good fit. (Of course, this video contains an… interesting alternate suggestion.)

Aubrey - Cassandra Lee (Taiga Aisaka from Toradora!, Kyubey from Madoka Magica). Again, this is a bit of personal bias since she’s one of my favorite VAs, but she can do both the “cute little girl” voice (for Headspace Aubrey) and the “abrasive” voice (for the real Aubrey), so I think this works out really well.

Kel - Two VAs for this one. I think in real life, Kel would be one of those boys who’s tiny and cute when he’s little, but grows up to have a surprisingly deep voice, so for Headspace Kel I went with Brittney Karbowski (Selim Bradley from FMAB, Black Star from Soul Eater) since I think she’s one of the few female VAs that can do an actually good impression of a little boy’s voice. (Maxey Whitehead (Alphonse Elric from FMAB) would also work.) For the real Kel, I would probably go with Austin Tindle (Karma Akabane from Assassination Classroom), since he sounds friendly (though Karma is really anything but).

Hero - This was the hardest one for me, because I feel like Hero’s voice needs to be just right. After a lot of deliberation, I settled on two - Johnny Yong Bosch (Yu Narukami from Persona 4) or Bryce Papenbrook (Shirou Emiya from Fate/stay night). I still don’t know if these are correct, so if you have a better idea, tell me.

Mari - Cristina Vee (Sakura Matou from Fate/stay night and countless others). This is one of those that I can’t really explain, only say that it fits in my head. Don’t you agree?

Basil - ...okay. I’m just going to say - I actually don’t like the “female VA plays young boy” trope. Yes, I know I did it for Kel above, but I used two actresses who I actually think can pull it off - I just don’t think most female VAs are good at it (not that they’re bad actors - it’s just that despite similar pitches, a young boy’s voice still sounds different from an adult woman’s). All that said… there’s no way I hear Basil with a male VA. Maybe one with an extremely high-pitched voice, but until someone can suggest one of those, I’ll go with Lindsay Seidel (Nagisa Shiota from Assassination Classroom). She’s among those few actresses I mentioned who can somewhat pull off the “young boy” voice. Of course, I also chose her because of the similarities between Nagisa and Basil - young man, looks like a girl (kinda), bad parents, seems shy but has a hidden dangerous side, etc. So yeah. (This explanation was unnecessarily long.) ...except several meme videos have also made me read Basil with the voice of Red Van Buskirk (Silver from Real-Time Fandub), which, despite being a joke idea, works scarily well.

Side Characters

Pluto - One of two actors. Either Christopher Sabat or Patrick Seitz, as they are the biggest hams the English-speaking VA community has to offer. (See: Vegeta and Dio.) Now that I’m thinking about it, Sung-Won Cho (a.k.a. ProZD) would be perfect too.

Space Boyfriend - Thanks to Osulan, I am unable to unhear SB as Chase Young (a.k.a. Mephiles from the Real-Time Fandub series). This is not a serious choice, but it’s the only one I have.

Sweetheart - Due to Sweetheart essentially being “Beatrice+Erika minus the nasty bits”, I really want to say Sayaka Ohara (the voice of Beatrice). But I did say English voice actors, so we’ll go with Mela Lee (Rachel Alucard from BlazBlue), mainly because Rachel and Sweetheart are both “elegant lady”-type characters.

Mr. Jawsum - Probably Patrick Seitz again. Yeah, actually I think this one works.

Slime Girls - I really don’t know about this one… Probably Monica Rial for Marina, Jamie Marchi for Molly, and Laura Bailey for Medusa. That sounds about right.

Humphrey - As a joke idea, Humphrey with the voice of Tom Kenny (Spongebob from… well) would be absolutely hilarious. (Imagine Spunch Bop saying “I fucking love air conditioning”.) Anyway, for a real idea, maybe Sonny Strait because Koro-sensei’s and Humphrey’s laughs are eerily similar. (Also, Sonny Strait is scarily good at changing his voice pitch. I would never recognize Krillin, Hughes, and Kyuzo as all being the same person.)

Hooligang - Unfortunately, I couldn’t really think of any except Todd Haberkorn (Ling from FMAB, Italy from Hetalia) for Mikhael, so if you have any ideas, add them.

I’m out of ideas. (Sorry, Polly.) Feel free to debate (politely) and add more.

Lucky (Benny Rodriguez x Reader) pt. 2

wc - 1042

"batter up!" ham called from behind home plate. winnie stepped up to the plate with the bat gripped tightly in her hands, her knuckles turning white from the force.

"you've got this, winnie!" you encouraged her. if you were being honest, winnie wasn't your strongest batter, but it's important for her to practice and get better.

she huffed and set herself up. kenny pitched the ball to her and she swung, hitting it lightly. she tossed the bat onto the ground and ran to first base as your team cheered her on.

"hurry up next batter, we haven't got all day." ham yelled.

"yeah we do. it's literally 8:30 in the morning." milly argued as she grabbed the bat and stood on the right side of the plate.

"hey, shortstop. you're on the wrong side of the plate." ham laughed.

milly rolled her eyes and ignored him. kenny pitched to her and she let it go past her, not yet swinging. the ball came close to her and she stepped back from it as to not get hit.

"good steal, winnie." you said as you spotted the younger girl on second base.

"are you trying to kill me!" she whined to kenny. kenny shrugged and milly returned to the plate. and other pitch was thrown and this time milly hit it, sending it to the outfield. she ran to first base and winnie ran to third.

you and the rest of the girls clapped and cheered for your teammates on the field. you were up to bat next. you grabbed the discarded bat by the handle and stood beside home plate.

"so," ham started, trying to psyche you out. "is your swing as good as your throw?" he asked.

"can you run as fast as your mouth?" you clapped back causing everyone to laugh and 'oooh'.

ham just scoffed. "the amount of disrespect i get here."

you rolled your eyes and kenny pitched the ball to you. you swung and hit it right over outfield. your eyes widened as it traveled over the backyard of 'the beast' and landed on the roof of the house with a crash. you cringed at the noise and apologized to the others for ruining their game.

"you didn't ruin anything, y/n. that's the farthest a ball has ever been hit." benny grinned.

"really?" you questioned, a small smile making its way into your face.

"yes really." he said, patting you on the back. "we can get a ball tomorrow, but we still have the whole day to do something."

"the pool!" squints suggests excitedly. everyone shrugs, nods or silently agrees in some way.

everyone ran off to grab their swimsuits and the other things that they would need for the pool. as soon as the group got to the pool, they boys jumped in while they girls lay their towels down and stripped down to their bathers. you started to rub sunscreen into your skin so you wouldn't burn in the sun, and the other girls did the same.

you looked over to the boys who were splashing each other and playing around in the pool, and then you looked back to the girls who were laying out on the sun chairs.

"are you guys gonna go in?" you asked.

"i need a tan for summer." gaile mumbled.

"you're gonna burn." you muttered under your breath.

"what was that?"

"nothing. i'm gonna go in the pool, party poopers." you said, walking over to the pool. benny spotted you and swam over to the edge you were getting in from.

"it's so weird." he said as you got in the water. "we're next door neighbors and we're friends, but we barely hang out."

"yeah, true. well, i'm a part of the team now. you can't get rid of me if you tried." you said with a smile.

"i'm glad about that. y'know, you did real good today, even though you lost the ball." he laughed.

"hey, it's not my fault i'm the best at baseball in the neighborhood." you joked, a playful smirk on your face.

"oh, you take that back right now." benny joked back.

you shook your head and crossed you arms over your chest. benny splashed you with water, causing you to gasp as it dripped down your face.

"benjamin franklin rodriguez!" you exclaimed.

you then gripped his shoulders and pushed him under the water. from underneath the water, benny wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you over his head as he came out from underneath the water. you squealed and flailed your arms and legs around. benny threw you into the water and just laughed at you as you emerged from the water with you now wet hair covering your face.

"they are so cute together." goldie said with a smile on her face as she watched benny and you play around in the pool.

"are they together yet?" mandie asked.

"i don't think so, but just imagine if they were." alice answered.

"benny looks like the romantic type, and y/n's a sucker for romantics." liz added, still lying down with shades resting on her face.

"they'd make cute babies." milly laughed. "and i'll be the godmother to at least one of them. i'm gonna be the cool aunt."

"how could you be the cool aunt if you aren't cool." brigette said jokingly.

"have i ever told you how much i appreciate your kindness?" milly said sarcastically.

"probably, but you can say it again." brigette laughed, causing milly to roll her eyes and lie back down on her seat. "you're hopeless." she mumbled.

"my mum wants me home by lunch and it's 10:30 now so i'm going in the pool." mandie said to the girls, walking over to the pool. the others decided to follow her because it was getting kinda hot it the sun.

the rest of the time at the pool, up until lunch, was spent splashing and playing around in the pool with one another. when everyone finally got out and dried of, they decided to split ways and go home and have lunch with their families for what felt like the first time ever that summer.

everyone except you and benny that is.

2010s Art: Music, Games, and TV

So I love all forms of art. It may not seem like it since I tend to stick mainly to movies, with the odd cartoon or video game thrown in, but that’s really because movies are more my thing due to not being massive time investments. Like, don’t get me wrong, I gamed, I watched TV, I listened to music, but it was a lot more casual than my deep dive into becoming a major cinephile.

With games and TV, it was mostly issues of money and time respectively. I have a few consoles, mostly Nintendo and Sony ones, and my wife helped me experience Xbox games, but I just don’t have the money needed to experience every good game that comes out. With TV, the time investment is the biggest roadblock, especially when all the best shows have hour-long episodes these days. With movies, I just have to spend 90 minutes to two hours on average; for TV, it’s countless hours I could be watching movies. As for music… well, I listened to a lot, I just don’t feel totally qualified to properly rank and list songs and albums.

So instead of the big decade-spanning list for movies that I’m doing, I’m going to go over some things I enjoyed from the past decade and maybe a few things I didn’t in music, TV, and video games. Here’s a little guide so you know what stuff is something I consider one of my absolute favorites in any given medium - if it’s from this decade, it will be in bold, and if it’s from a previous decade but I experienced it this decade, it will be underlined.

Television

I figured I’d get this out of the way first since it’s the medium I have the least experience with. Let me put it this way: I have seen only one season of Game of Thrones, the first one (and by all accounts I dodged a bullet by dropping that show). I also had the misfortune of jumping in to The Walking Dead right as it was gearing up for its abysmal second season, which turned me off that and led to me only watching an episode here or there. 

I had better luck watching live action shows on streaming. I managed to get through almost all of Pretty Little Liars on Netflix, which was a chore in and of itself; it’s a good show, but boy could it ever get arbitrary and frustrating. Speaking of Netflix, I think it goes without saying that Stranger Things is their best effort; from the likable cast of kids to the awesome soundtrack, even though it never really surpasses season one the show always has something cool going on in one of its plots. My other favorite from Netflix would probably be their take on A Series if Unfortunate Events, which is how you do adaptation expansion right; everything they add feels like it’s in service of fleshing out Lemony Snicket’s dismal world, as well as giving Patrick Warburton an incredible dramatic role as the Lemony narrator himself.

Amazon managed to score two hits in my book. The first is the unbelievably fun and charming Good Omens, a miniseries that somehow got me to love David Tennant and Michael Sheen more than I already did. The second was the gory joyride that is The Boys which while not the smartest or most original superhero satire is definitely the most fun.

While I didn’t watch the whole show and would not consider it one of my favorites, I do want to give props to Hannibal for introducing me to Mads Mikkelsen. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the only person aside from Hopkins worthy of playing everyone’s favorite cannibal. Another show I DO consider a favorite despite slacking on keeping up with it is Ash vs. Evil Dead; I only needed to see a single season of Bruce back with the boomstick to know this show was a masterpiece.

On the animated side I have much more to talk about. Not since the 90s have we been spoiled with so many genuinely great and varied cartoons. We got Adventure Time, Regular Show, Steven Universe… really, Cartoon Network raised the bar this decade and made up for an awful 2000s. They even finally gave Samurai Jack a conclusion, which despite the mixed results, was still a real exciting phenomenon to experience.

Of course, my favorite CN show came from Adult Swim. I am of course referring to Rick & Morty, a fun sci-fi adventure comedy that attracted the most obnoxious fanbase possible in record time. While certainly not a show you need a high IQ to understand and having an atrocious third season, it still manages to be funny and thought provoking in equal amounts. Seriously though. Fuck season 3.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is another great show that I sadly fell off the wagon of around the fifth or sixth season. It never got bad of course but it never really engaged me like the older episodes, though what I’ve heard of the last season makes me wish I’d kept up with it. It was a great show with a lot of heart and character, and I’m not sure we’ll ever see a show like it again.

Netflix did not slack in the animation department; I didn’t catch their most famous show (it’s the one about a certain Horseman) but I did catch their fantastic take on Castlevania, which as a huge fan of the series was a real treat. Where the fuck is Grant though?

My two favorite shows of the decade, however, are what I see as the pinnacle of East and West: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and Gravity Falls. 

JJBA is a series I had vague passing knowledge of, only knowing its existence due to seeing Stone Ocean referenced on the Wikipedia page for air rods when I was younger and, of course, the memes that spawned from Heritage for the Future, which were inescapable back in the day. As soon as I got into the series, it became one of my biggest inspirations, teaching me you can be deep, complex, and filled with great character interactions while also being so batshit insane that every new and absurd power is incredibly easy to buy (looking forward to the rainbows that turn people into snails, animators). They managed to get through the first four parts and start up the fifth over the decade; so far my favorite part is four, mainly due to the magnificent bastard that is Yoshikage Kira (played time perfection by D.C. Douglas) and in spite of serial creep Vic Mangina playing the otherwise lovable asshole Rohan Kishibe.

Gravity Falls on the other hand is just a fun and engaging mystery show that manages to excel at being episodic and story-driven all at once. There’s only one or two “bad” episodes across two seasons, and it lasted just as long as it needed to, wrapping things up with a satisfactory ending that still gave fans a few mysteries to chew on. It also gave us Grunkle Stan, perhaps the greatest character in all of animation, the pinnacle of “jerk with a heart of gold” characters who is hilarious, badass, and complex all at once. This is my favorite western animated show…

...but then the last year of the decade threw a curveball and, if I’m being honest, is on par with Gravity Falls: Green Eggs and Ham. Netflix really wanted us to know 2D animation is back in 2019; between this show and Klaus, the future is looking bright for the medium. It’s a fun, funny roadtrip comedy that knows when to be emotional and when to be funny, and it’s all filtered through the wubbulous world of Dr. Seuss. It’s just a wonderfully delightful show.

And on the subject of JoJo, I had a kind of love-hate relationship with anime this decade. The attitudes of anime fans turned me off from anime for a long while. Sure, I checked out stuff like Attack on Titan and Sword Art Online, but neither series really clicked with me. The main anime I loved this decade were ones that started in the 2000s and ended in the 2010s, like Dragon Ball Z Kai and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. I suppose I did enjoy My Hero Academia, which is a really fun show with an awesome and varied cast and great voice acting. Love Froppy, best girl for sure.

One of the most unfortunate things about this decade was how many great shows got screwed over by their networks. Sym-Bionic Titan, Thundercats, and The Legend of Korra were all great shows in their own right but were treated like shit by their respective networks. It really makes me upset that stuff like that not only happened, but continues to happen to this day.

But let’s not end on a bad note; let’s talk about the astounding returns old shows got. Invader Zim got a movie as did Hey Arnold, with the latter in particular finally wrapping up the dangling plot threads, but those are actual TV movies so they don’t really fit here; what DOES fit is Static Cling, the triumphant return of Rocko’s Modern Life. A forty minute special, it follows Rocko and his friends as they navigate the modern age, trying to bring back Rocko’s favorite cartoon. Rachel Bighead’s arc in this in particular is pretty groundbreaking and awesome. 

Also awesome was the first few episodes of Samurai Jack’s return, though it did end up petering out halfway through the season and ended on an anticlimactic note. Still, Tom Kenny’s Scaramouche, the sheer amount of continuity, and the awesome final curbstomp battle against Aku are worth giving this a watch. And if nothing else, stuff like this gives me hope for future revivals. What will we see next? Gargoyles comeback? Batman Beyond continuation? KENNY AND THE CHIMP REVIVAL?! Chimpers rise up!

Music

Much like everyone, I listened to a lot of music this decade. There was a lot of shit, and I definitely used to be one of those “wow no one makes good music anymore” morons, but I grew out of that and learned to look in the right places.

Let’s start with the albums I loved the most. Continuing her meteoric rise from the 2000s, Lady Gaga drooped her magnum opus, Born This Way, an album that successfully showcases her skills as she takes on numerous pop styles. No two songs sound the same, and with a couple of exceptions every song slaps. While we’re on the subject of pop stars, Gaga’s contemporary and lesser Katy Perry managed to hit a home run with the fun bit of pop fluff that was Teenage Dream.

Weird Al was sorely missed for most of the decade, but what albums he did drop featured some of his best work. While Alpocalypse doesn’t hold up quite so well, it’s still solid, but even then it is blown out of the water by Mandatory Fun, an album that just refuses to stop being funny from start to finish. And that’s not the only funny albums this decade; aside from artists I’ll get more into later, George Miller AKA Filthy Frank released Pink Season as one of his last great acts as his character of Pink Guy. The album is as raunchy and filthy as you’d expect. And then for unintentional comedy, Corey Feldman dropped Angelic 2 The Core, an album so musically inept that it ends up becoming endearing; it’s The Room of music.

As I gamed a lot this decade I got to experience a lot of great video game soundtracks, but the two I found to be the absolute best were Undertale and Metal Gear Rising’s. I couldn’t tell you which soundtrack is better, and I’ve actually made a playlist on my iPod containing my favorite tracks from both games. Pokemon had solid soundtracks all decade, but they definitely were better in single tracks such as Ultra Necrozma’s theme from USUM and Zinnia’s theme from ORAS.

And speaking of individual songs, there were a lot I really loved. The disco revival in the easel ide half of the decade lead to gems like “Get Lucky,” “Uptown Funk,” and… uh, “Blurred Lines.” The controversy to that one might be overblown, but it sure isn’t anything I really want to revisit.

Corey Feldman may be the king of unintentional comedy, but this decade was seriously ripe with so bad it’s good music. The crown jewel is without a doubt the giddy, goofy “Friday,” but I think the equally stupid but also endlessly more relatable Ark Music production “Chinese Food” is worth some ironic enjoyment as well. 

Meme songs in general were pretty enjoyable, though it came at a price. Remember when everyone tried to be funny by ripping off “Gangnam Style?” Remember when people took that Ylvis song at face value? Irony and satire were lost on the masses. I think the best mene song of the decade, though, is “Crab Rave,” a bouncy instrumental dance track with a fun music video and an absurd yet hilarious meme tacked to it. And then we have “The Internet is for Music,” a gargantuan 30 minute mashup featuring every YTMND, 4chan, Newgrounds, and YouTube meme you could think of (at the time of its release anyway),

Then we get into artists. Comedy music was great this decade, with Steel Panther and The Lonely Island putting out great work all decade, but by far my favorite funny band is Ninja Sex Party. Dan “Danny Sexbang” Avidan and Brian “Ninja Brian” Wecht are pretty much my favorite entertainers at this point, with them easily being able to go from doing goofy yet epic songs where they fuck or party to doing serious and awesome cover albums where Dan flexes his impressive vocals. A big plus is how all of their albums are easily some of my favorites ever, with not a single bad CD, and that’s not even getting into their side project Starbomb. These guys are a treasure.

Then we have Ghost, a Swedish metal band who play up the Satanic panic for all it’s worth. These guys captured my interest when I heard the beautiful “Cirice” on the radio, and despite that song rocking the fuck out, Imagine my surprise when it ended up being only middle of the road awesome for this band! With killer original songs like “Rats,” “Mary in the Cross,” and “Square Hammer” to a awesome covers like “Missionary Man” and “I’m a Marionette,” it’s almost enough to get a guy to hail Satan. I think they appeal to me mainly because they have a style very in line with the 80s, most evident on tracks like “Rats.” 

While I’d hesitate to call him one of my favorite musicians yet (he is really good so far though), one of my favorite people in entertainment is Lil Nas X. From his short but sweet songs that crush genre boundaries to his hilarious Twitter feed, this guy is going places and I can’t wait to see what those places are.

And finally, the guy I think may be one of the greatest creative geniuses alive and who has nearly singlehandedly shaped Internet culture with everything he does… Neil Cicierega. While it’s not like I only discovered him in the 2010s - the guy has been an omnipresent force in my life since Potter Pupper Pals debuted - he definitely became the guy I would unflinchingly call the greatest artist of our time over that period.   Whether he’s releasing the songs under his own name or as Lemon Demon, you can always be sure that the songs are going to burrow into your brain. His Lemon Demon album Spirit Phone, which features songs about urban legends and the horrors of capitalism, is easily my pick for album of the decade. And then under his own name he released three mashup mixtapes: Mouth Sounds, Mouth Silence, and Mouth Moods. All three are stellar albums, but only Mouth Moods has “Wow Wow,” the bouncing track about homoerotic bee-loving Will Smith and outtakes so good they deserve to be on the next album.

Video Games 

Having a PC this decade was great because it let me experience a lot of games I probably wouldn’t have otherwise, like Half-Life, BioShock, Earthnound, Mother 3, and Final Fantasy VI and VII. All of these and more are among my favorite games of all time now, but we’re here to talk about the stuff from this decade I consider great.

It’s hard to talk about this decade in gaming without mentioning Skyrim. Yes, it has flaws and the main storyline is a bit undercooked, but there’s so much fun to be had dicking about in the wilderness it’s hard to be too mad. And if you have mods, there are endless opportunities to expand the game. The same is true for the other game I have sunk countless hours into, The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth. Not only is there a thriving modding community, but it has been supported and encouraged by the creators and some mods have even made the leap into becoming fully canon! It’s always a blast to revisit and see how far I can break the game with item combos.

Surprisingly, Batman managed to get not one, not two, but THREE awesome licensed games this decade! Arkham Asylum, Arkham City, and the unfairly maligned Arkham Origins all kick as much ass as the Dark Knight himself. The former two reunite Mark Hamill and Kevin McConroy as Joker and Batman while the latter features numerous stellar boss battles. The combat in these games is so graceful and fluid, you WILL feel like Batman at some point, be it after flawlessly clobbering two dozen mooks or silently eliminating a room of thugs before they even realize you’re there.

Pokémon had a bit of a rocky decade; it started out strong with the fifth generation, the best games in the series with a great story, region, and sidequests and then just went downhill from there. Not incredibly so, of course - the games were always fun at least - but gens VI through VIII were not the most graceful steps into 3D. Still, every gen managed to produce some of my all-time favorite Pokémon. Gen V had Volcarona, Chandelure,  and Meloetta; Gen VI gave us Hoopa, Klefki, the Fairy type in general, and a gorgeous mega evolution for my favorite Pokémon, Absol; Gen VII had the Ultra Beasts and Ultra Necrozma, some of the coolest concepts in the series, as well as Pyukumuku; and Gen VIII gave us Cinderace, Dracovish, Dracozolt, Polteageist, Hatterene, Snom, and Zacian. And those are just samplings mind you, these gens are full of hits.

Bringing back old franchises yielded amazing results. Look no further than the triumphant return of Doom in 2016, which had you ripping and tearing through the forces of Hell with guns, chainsaws, and your bear fucking hands. This game is HARDCORE. Less bloody and gory but no less awesome was the return of not just Crash Bandicoot, but Spyro as well in remakes that are easily the definitive ways to experience the games. And don’t even get me started on the remastered DuckTales!

Platinum games did not fuck around this decade, delivering Bayonetta 2 and Metal Gear Rising. The former is a balls-to-the-wall sequel to the amazing original Bayonetta that, while lacking in bosses quite as impressive as the first game’s, is more polished and has a fun story and a better haircut for Bayonetta; the latter is an action game so insane it makes the rest of the Metal Gear franchise look tame in comparison. The latter in particular is in my top ten games ever, with every boss battle feeling epic, all the music kicking ass, and Raiden truly coming into his own as a badass.

Speaking of Metal Gear, the divisive The Phantom Pain easily earns its place here. While much fuss has been made about the game being “unfinished,” it still has a complete and satisfying ending even if it doesn’t totally wrap up the dangling plot threads the young Liquid Snake leaves behind. The overarching themes as well as Venom and his relationship with characters like Kaz, Paz, and ESPECIALLY Quiet make this game, with his and Quiet’s being particularly beautiful and tragic. The Paz quest, Quiet’s exit, and the mission where Snake has to put down his men after they get infested with parasites are all some of the most heartbreaking moments in the franchise. But it’s not all tears; there’s plenty of fun to be had harassing Russians in Afghanistan while blaring 80s synth pop from your Walkman. Oh yeah, and fuck Huey.

The Ace Attorney series also thrived, with both Spirit of Justice and Dual Destinies transitioning the series into 3D a lot more graceful than some other franchises while still maintaining the with and charm the series is known for. And if that wasn’t enough for my point-and-cluck adventure needs, Telltale had me covered with The Wolf Among Us and the first season of The Walking Dead. The stories and characters of those games are so good, it’s enough to make you sad they never got a timely sequel or sequels that weren’t shit respectively.

This decade is when I really got into fighting game, though I’m not particularly good. I supported Skullgirls (and am even in the credits!), and got into Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle (and I also got into its spiritual predecessor, Heritage for the Future). But by and large my favorite fighting game of the decade and the one I’m actually pretty good at is Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, the most ridiculously ambitious crossover in video game history. The fact that the game is STILL getting more characters added is a testament of how insanely great the game is because instead of being mad that there’s so much DLC, people are going rabid waiting for news of more. It’s such an awesome, complete game out the door that the DLC feels earned rather than half a game being held hostage. Other devs, take note!

A lot of franchises put their best foot forward for sequels. God of War III was an awesomely bloody finale to the original journey of Kratos, with more epic bosses than ever; now he’s off fighting Norse gods, and I hear that game is even better! Portal 2 is just an absolute blast, and easily surpasses the first game on the merit of having Cave Johnson alone; the fact we get Wheatley and the malfunctioning personality cores honestly feels like overkill. Then we have BioShock… 2. While it’s certainly not as good as the first game, I think it was a lot of fun, and it got way too much flak.

 I think it definitely aged better than Infinite which, while still a good game in its own right (it’s hard to hate a game with a character as endearing as Elizabeth), definitely was not warranting the levels of acclaim it got with such a muddled narrative. “Overrated” and “overhyped” are not words I keep in my vocabulary and I certainly would not describe Infinite as such, but I do feel like people got swept up in the gorgeous visuals and the story bits and characters that are effective and so weren’t nearly as critical of its flaws. It’s still a good, fun game with an interesting world, but it pales in comparison to the other two BioShocks. I feel like The Last of Us is in a similar boat. That being said, I couldn’t tell you why; it has a great story, good characters, plenty of replayability, and fascinating enemy design. But despite all that, I appreciate this game more than love it. It’s the Citizen Kane of video game sin that regard at least.

I’d be remiss to not mention the big indie successes of the decade. Shovel Knight is easily one is the greatest platform era ever made, taking everything great about the platformers on the NES and SNES, removing the bullshit, and delivering numerous bonus campaigns with unique playstyles. Then there was Abobo’s Big Adventure, a marvelous mashup of all sorts of games starring the beloved Double Dragon mook as he goes on a bloody quest to save his son. It’s a blast and there is tons of variety but some sections are definitely as hair-pullingly difficult as the games that inspired them. And then there is Doki Doki Literature Club, the free visual novel that brutally subverts your expectations. Sadly, I do feel the game loses some impact on subsequent playthroughs, but it’s still a great, effective story that skillfully utilizes meta elements.

Still, the greatest indie success of them all is Toby Fox’s masterpiece, Undertale. Charming, funny, emotional, and populated by a cast of some of the most fun and lovable characters ever conceived, this game was an instant smash and is still talked about to this day. Sure, things like Sans have been memed to death, but it’s hard to not just love and cherish the beautiful world Toby Fox managed to create. This game may not be the greatest game of all time, but for what it is I wouldn’t hesitate to name it the game of the decade.

There was a lot of great art in the 2010s, and while I couldn’t get around to all of it, I’m so happy with what I got to experience. Here’s hoping that the 2020s can be just as amazing!

One note from before season 4 that I wrote down. Jimmy looking at his hands after he punches someone. The look of shock of omg I remember how to do karate? Was precious. Now onto season 4 (the first time I’d seen these eps) I’m sorry one thing that doesn’t make any sense to me. Why doesn’t Robby have more friends? Like I get the two bad friends, but like he’s at the skate park every chance he has. Surely some people like see him there and cheer him on. Like I doubt with how crowded it is most of the time that there’s no community there. Like Sam went there every day for two weeks, surely people would know him or recognize her. Johnny noooo you’ve got carpet. Why did you pour out the ham water onto your carpet???? The banana boat has essentially become a toy hasn’t it? No one drives it, everyone just sits in it. I bet at some point Daniel realized he couldn’t drive it any more and so Sam just goes in there sometimes when she needs comfort in a smaller space. I just realized Tory is the last one of the original crew isn’t she? Like Aisha left and then Miguel and Hawk and all the like minor friends she’d made. No wonder she called Hawk and Miguel traitors, she’s now stuck with a bunch of dude’s she doesn’t know and one of them is Kyler. Okay is the painting that Silver smashes a wine bottle into the same one Johnny like got in trouble for touching earlier? Nooo I knew as soon as that character came up that Kenny was getting catfished. T_T Noo Anthony nooo. You’re hanging with the wrong crowd. I just realized there’s a plot similarity/theme similarity in this with Gilmore Girls. I’m sorry but has Daniel ever got to do any like macho manly bro stuff in his life? The guy looks so happy to do Eagle Fang stuff and be good at it and have Johnny cheering him on. Noooo not Kenny hiding in the trash. Hockey date is adorable. Johnny trying to get Daniel into a fight is delightful. Johnny’s “No be there” plus a pretzel is my favorite move.

YOU!!!!! Surprisingly happy to see him again as a big bro...but uh why’s he in juvie there if his family just moved there???????? Also are you sending Kenny to Robby? Why go from a couple kiss to like mirroring but it’s them? Dorks. Absolute dorks. I’m sorry did they just ignore Anthony all dinner? Was Johnny seriously the only one to talk to him the whole night? Dude. No wonder this kid is going the wrong way. Kenny going to Robby for help. T^T Shawn being like bro take care of my baby bro and sending him straight into a serpents den. Kreese don’t you dare hurt that boy. I’m sorry Daniel but isn’t that a microaggression you just used on Miguel? Like...Johnny yeah but you...I expect more from you. Shouldn’t all of the Miyagi-do students know Johnny’s style of training? Everyone except Sam and Demetri because they were all originally Johnny’s kids? They never showed us Daniel getting new non-Johnny students. What is with the milk? Like did I miss something? Why are they pouring milk all over Kenny and how on Earth did these kids get his locker full of the stuff? Also congrats Robby you now have a little brother. Miguel you standing in front of Daniel making him talk about how awful he is with money and decisions is a gift and I love you for it. Terry’s equivalent of war paint or like big move is literally putting his hair up in a pony tail. Please someone (one of the kids) ask him if he’s inspired by Violet Baudelaire. Daniel having the Eagle Fang kids go fishing. Sir why do you have koi in a pond you regularly throw people in? Are they okay? Also is this your version of the fly? Johnny you now know how Robby felt. Bloodsport the only proof Johnny existed. We gotta watch this movie. Of course everyone wants to teach Miguel, he’s a sweetie. Also Daniel, I know Mr. Miyagi pulled the you drive when you didn’t know how but I think you should like check that he’s got a permit or something right? Daniel? Daniel come on man. Pretty sure this is illegal.

Also Miguel, that is a total mood. No Tory! Noooo not the job that Johnny couldn’t get when he was trying to raise money for Miguel’s surgery. Oh thank goodness you’re a mermaid. I love it. The panic there was so real. Oh no Robby not Silver. Run kid. Take Kenny and run, not that man. Silver you never really had Daniel hit you. You got your weird wooden guy out for him to hit. You’re actually going to let Robby hit you? HOLY MOLY SILVER THAT’S A CEMENT FLOOR YOU JUST FLIPPED THAT POOR BOY ON. If you’re going to be a creepy dude please at least let it be on the mat. T^T Sam don’t be awful to Tory while she’s working. Come on now. Like girl, I get you’re enjoying story time but this is for kids. Be nice. Tory’s revenge of the glitter bomb is possibly the nicest revenge she’s ever gotten. No Johnny don’t upset your student. Kyler you better pay that kid back for all that stuff you ordered. Kenny, hon, you’re amazing how you carried all that in one go. Y’all let this kid watch this movie. (I’m so worried something bad is gonna happen) Darn it I knew it. TWILIGHT?! Miguel you trying to live out your sparkly vampire baseball dreams? Kreese... Miyagi attacked your students? Sir you also attacked your students. Johnny Lawrence’s confidence shattered? Really? Really really? Sir. I think he was fine. Yeah a bit beaten up but dude c’mon. Also dude what about your other students? Why do you keep harping back on the one you tried to kill? oh. bad thought. Isn’t this like that abusive persons M.O.? Eugh. Mr. Silver that line is my favorite thing ever. “I understand, but now, we’re the old men.” Thank you for being the person who realizes it. You all idiots. Dumb old men. Thank you. Oh no. Silver why did you dress up for intimidation time? NOooo I’m not ready. I’m not ready for the break up. T^T I know it’s coming because of spoilers. noooo.

Reading Definitely Not Wednesday

Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey. A space opera set in the relatively near future. Humans have colonized Mars and the asteroid belt, and a few scattered populations make due on the moons of planets further out. There is, however, no faster-than-light travel, no contact with any solar system beyond our own, no sentient AIs, and no aliens. A major theme of the book is the culture clash between those who live on Earth or Mars – the superpowers of this future – and those who live in the Belt, where mining is the preeminent economy and life is the hardscrabble sort where even water and oxygen have to be imported, never mind concepts like justice and equality. Different characters move from one place to the other or switch allegiances, but their origins are as baked in as we would regard ethnicity or nationality. As one character puts it, "A childhood spent in gravity shaped the way he saw things forever." Corey (who is actually two separate dudes writing under a penname) does a wonderful job of fleshing out the background worldbuilding. I loved references to fungal-culture whiskey, Bhangra as the default elevator muzak, hand gestures exaggerated to be seen through a spacesuit, and largely unintelligible localized slang (“Bomie vacuate like losing air,” the girl said with a chuckle. “Bang-head hops, kennis tu?” / “Ken,” Miller said. /“Now, all new bladeboys. Overhead. I’m out.”). It feels like a more detailed world than a lot of sci-fi does. Which is good, because the characters are not all that compelling. The two POVs are Jim Holden and Detective Miller. Holden is the second-in-command on an unimportant spaceship that works as a freight hauler, moving ice back and forth between the Belt and Saturn. Things change dramatically when a mysterious someone attacks their ship and kills everyone except for Holden and a few others, and he finds himself centrally involved in the runup to war. He has the most generic action-movie-hero personality I can imagine, with no discernable characteristics except 'idealistic' (and I really only know that because other people keep telling him he is), kinda nervous about being suddenly thrust into command but doing a good job, a womanizer (but see, it's okay because he just keeps genuinely falling in love with so many women!), and earnest. He's fine. He's not even objectionable, just incredibly boring. He comes with a crew of entirely indistinguishable followers that I couldn't keep straight, but that's all right because most of them get killed off so I no longer had to try to remember who was who. He also develops a romance that is 100% unbelievable, but I suppose that's what action-movie-heroes do, so who's even surprised. Miller is a detective on Ceres, the largest city in the Belt, who's been hired by a rich family to track down their anarchist, slumming daughter. Miller is an incredibly cliche noir protagonist - alcoholic, divorced, not as good as he used to be, cynical, a little bit corrupt but underneath it all he still remembers his good intentions – but at least that means he has more of a personality than Jim, even if it's a personality you've seen a thousand times before. On the other hand, Miller becomes obsessed with this dead/missing girl in a way that is painfully stereotypical Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Two things kept this from ruining Leviathan Wakes for me. One, Miller is at least somewhat self-aware about it: This was why he had searched for her. Julie had become the part of him that was capable of human feeling. The symbol of what he could have been if he hadn’t been this. There was no reason to think his imagined Julie had anything in common with the real woman. Meeting her would have been a disappointment for them both. And two, there's a twist near the end that allows Julie to finally have her own voice in the text, and not exist solely as Miller's imagined dependance on her. It takes almost half the book for Miller and Holden to finally cross paths, at which point the missing-girl mystery and the war plot combine and take a twist for a direction I DID NOT SEE COMING. I am ambivalent on whether to spoil this; on the one hand, I read it unprepared and it was incredibly awesome to experience it that way. On the other hand, I suspect this is information that will be a determining factor for many people on whether they want to read it or not. So: halfway through, Leviathan Wakes takes a wild jump and becomes about a zombie outbreak. I would not have previously thought that 'space opera' and 'zombie apocalypse' are two genres that should be combined, but the tension and excitement skyrocket once the book takes this turn, transforming it from average quality to 'I CANNOT STOP READING, MUST FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT'. So, good choice! The sequence with Miller and Holden trapped on a small space station trying to sneak their way past zombie hordes is one of the most thrilling I've read in ages. Leviathan Wakes is the first book in a series (apparently it was originally supposed to be a trilogy, but there's currently eight books out with at least one more planned, along with a batch of short stories) and has also become a show on the Syfy network that I haven't seen. I feel like I've spent a lot of this review complaining, but honestly I mostly enjoyed the book and am planning to read the sequels. The fact that people seem to like the characters from future books more than these ones certainly doesn't hurt! Pig/Pork: Archaeology, Zoology and Edibility by Pia Spry-Marques. A nonfiction book about everything remotely related to the farming and eating of pigs. I expected from the subtitle and the author's personal background that archaeology would be the main focus, but it turns out that's really only the first two chapters, which cover the Paleolithic hunting of wild boar and the original domestication of pigs. The other chapters turn to topics as diverse as experiments on feeding farmed pigs leftovers from restaurants, the spread of foot-and-mouth disease, a special Spanish ham called ibérico de bellota which can only be fed acorns, genetically modifiying pigs so their manure would contain less phosporus, sunburn in pigs, minature pet pigs, organ donation between humans and pigs, the terrifying tapeworms to be acquired from eating raw pork, why pork is a 'white' meat, how to make sausages, theories on why pork is neither halal nor kosher, the use of an enzyme from pig pancreases in wine production, EU food-safety regulations on traditional pork dishes, Cuba's 'Bay of Pigs', the Pig War between the US and Canada in 1859, and Oliver Cromwell's favorite pig breed. Basically if it has the remotest connection to the title, Spry-Marques has included it. She even includes recipes for each chapter, though some of them are clearly more for amusement than actual consumption – I can't imagine anyone having just finished a chapter on how eating raw pork will give you cysts in your brain is eager to try figatellu, a type of uncooked sausage from France. And it would take a braver foodie than me to taste "Asian-inspired pork uterus with green onion and ginger". In fact, as is probably not surprising for any book which touches on factory farming however briefly, you will probably come away not wanting to eat pork at all for a while. Spry-Marques's writing is breezy and conversational, which kept me turning the pages even when the structure was a bit scattered. I wish it were more focused, but it's a great book for anyone who enjoys popular science, history, or food writing. I read this as an ARC via NetGalley. Song of Blood & Stone by L. Penelope. A YA fantasy novel with some unusual elements. Rather than being set in vaguely medieval England or a dystopian sci-fi future, we're in a country where the technology seems to be around 1900: cars and electric lights exist, but they're restricted to rich cities, and someone coming from rural poverty might well have never seen either. Magic exists, but comes from one's heritage; you're either born with it or not. In Elsira, where our story is set, it's rare to the point of nonexistence. Our heroine Jasminda, however, does have magic, due to her father having been a refugee from the neighboring country of Lagrimar, where magic is common. Elsira and Lagrimar have been constantly at war for hundreds of years, but are separated by a magical Barrier which allows no one to pass through, except on rare occasions when a temporary breach happens and violence erupts. Elsirans are light-skinned and Lagrimari are dark-skinned, so Jasminda has dealt with fairly severe racism throughout her life. The story starts when Jasminda runs across Jack, a Elsiran soldier just back from spying in Lagrimar who has super important information that must get back to the capital as soon as possible; unfortunately Jack has just been shot and is closely pursued by a troop of Lagrimari soldiers. Jasminda and Jack team up, fall in love, and try to prevent the coming outbreak of war. The most revealing thing I can say about Song of Blood & Stone is that it's very, very YA. (As you could probably guess, what with its title that fits exactly into the pattern of the 'YA title' meme currently going around tumblr.) Almost everything that happens is easily predictable from the back cover (Jack's long-withheld backstory is clearly supposed to be a shocking twist, but it's obvious from the moment he appears), the prose is mediocre but fine, good and bad guys are clearly signalled, the real world parallels (racism, treatment of refugees, domestic abuse) are good-hearted but extremely Social Justice 101. On the plus side, the beginning was the worst part and it got better and better as it went along; several developments near the very end were so interesting that I'm tempted to read the sequel, despite my initial boredom. Overall it's not a bad book, but I'd only recommend it to people who are extremely affectionate of the most repetitive tropes of the YA genre. I read this as an ARC from a GoodReads giveaway.

[DW link for easier commenting]

July 31, 2019: Columns

Peaches, possum, and home grown tomatoes...

                                                     Homegrown tomatoes, homegrown tomatoes,  

                          What'd life be without homegrown tomatoes,

                                Only two things money can't buy,

                             That's true love and homegrown tomatoes.

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

    What a great weekend.

   Yes, it was hot, but not oppressively so, as it had been earlier in the week, and there so many things to do and enjoy that were just plain fun.

   Just to mention a few, let's start on Friday evening.  One of my favorite regular events is the music of Doug Davis and Friends at the Hardee's on 421 in Wilkesboro.  They just wander in, take a seat and join in with whoever is already there and  15 minutes later,  you would think they had been playing together for 15 years.  This past Friday's crew, at least for the time I was there, included Don and Lee Ann Bowling, Jason Young, Jamie Prevette,  Glenn Wood, Joe Price and Lindsay Ham.  Lindsay, who can play about anything and play it well, treated those gathered to his rendition of "I've Got 5 Pounds of Possum in My Headlights Tonight," to everyone's delight.  A little country, a little bluegrass, a little gospel, and a lot of fun is available every Friday night when these folks get together.

   Then, on Saturday morning at the Farmer's Market in North Wilkesboro, the Master Gardner's group had their annual Tomato Tasting with over 30 varieties of tomatoes available.  Young and old alike enjoy this event and Saturday's edition was no exception.  An aside, quite often Linda Cabe and Chad Ritchie come and play music at Saturday's market, being dubbed by yours truly as The Marketplace Players.  This past Saturday, they were joined by Ferguson's own Sharon Underwood who played her guitar and sang with them.  As I was visiting with them, Sharon broke out in the chorus of "True Love and Homegrown Tomatoes," a great old  tune I had forgotten about. All in all, it was a great market —good for vendors, good for visitors.

   After the Farmer's Market, I went over to Wilkesboro for the inaugural Peach and Heritage Festival put on by volunteers from the Brushy Mountain Community Center.

   When I first got to town, I knew I was going to have a good day because I saw Ann Graves and Marilyn Payne sitting on Ann's porch across from the old Smithey Hotel.  I stopped, sat on the swing with Ann enjoying some of her Ketle Korn, and watched the folks stream in for the festival.  I kidded them that they were the perfect pair to be "greeters" for those coming in because they have neither ever met a stranger.

   Once I got up to the Commons area, I found it packed with vendors, displays, games and entertainment. There was truly something for the entire family--from toddler to grandma and grandpa.  As I wandered around that morning, I could hear the gospel music playing on the main stage and I observed the amazing variety of people in attendance.  Whenever I would ru into ne of the organizers, they were very pleased with their new event, and helpful with whatever questions I had.

   I also went by the Heritage Museum next door where the new Splash Pad was getting a workout and the Museum itself was literally crawling with visitors, many for the first time.

   As the day went on, the crowd stayed amazingly strong with many vendors selling completely our of food or merchandise.  As I continued to amble around and visit, I was struck by just how contented and happy everyone seemed to be.  I made some comment about this to a lady who se name I should know but cannot tink of right now and she made the reply I supposed was appropriate for the day, "Why Kenny, what would you expect--everything here today is "Just Peachy'"

   International consensus is not the same as international law

By EARL COX

Special to The Record

President Trump’s envoy to the Middle East, Jason Greenblatt, recently told the United Nations Security Council that “international consensus is not international law.  He went on to state what most Americans, especially evangelical Christians, accept as historical fact – that Jerusalem is the historic capital of the Jewish people and it is their rightful capital today.  

Today the people living in the West Bank and Gaza call themselves “Palestinians” and they desire (or aspire) to make Jerusalem their exclusive capital completely ignoring thousands of years of Jewish connection to the land.  This is not hearsay.  It is documented from the Bible forward and is proven afresh almost every day as new archaeological finds are discovered pointing directly to Israel and the Jewish people.  

So, who are the Palestinian people and why do they feel entitled to possess the land of Israel with Jerusalem as their capital?  First of all, there are no “Palestinians.”  They are culturally and linguistically Arab therefore they have no language, religion or general culture that distinguishes them significantly from the Arabs of Jordan, Syria or other neighboring Arab states.  “Palestinian” identity is a shallow political veneer that developed in response to Zionism and it serves today as a hostile tool kept sharpened for use against Israel. 

Nevertheless, Israel is willing to carve out land for those Arabs who want to identify as “Palestinians” thus creating an identity for themselves separate from the larger Arab world, but they have no historic or legal right to the land of Israel.  As expressed by Mr. Greenblatt, the Palestinian aspiration to a have a capital in Jerusalem is “not a right,” and “international consensus is not international law” when it comes to creating a Palestinian state.

The decades long conflict between Israel and the Palestinians cannot be solved by international consensus.  U.N. resolutions have been proposed and adopted however the wording is generally vague but always in favor of the Palestinians despite protestation from America and Israel.

No international consensus or interpretation of international law can alter the fact that Jews have lived and worshiped for nearly 3,000 years in Israel and specifically in Jerusalem and that Jerusalem has been the capital of the modern state of Israel for over 70 years. Those who try to paint Israel as “illegal occupiers” are using the phrase as a weapon to demonize Israel.  According to historic facts, Israel has already returned or relinquished more than 88 percent of the territory it captured during the 1967 Six Day War in which tiny Israel was attacked by every surrounding Arab country yet, thanks to God’s intervention, Israel sent the aggressors running to the U.N. begging them to make Israel back off.

While Israel has proven to the world time and time again her willingness to cooperate in helping the “Palestinians” form an independent state, they are not foolishly willing to jeopardize their safety by giving legitimacy to the terrorists organization called Hamas which governs those “Palestinians” living in the Gaza strip or the PLO which governs the “Palestinians” in the West Bank and which is equally as corrupt as Hamas and every bit a terrorist entity - despite any consensus to the contrary.  

Relax and Protect

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

Summertime busy is a different kind of busy.

We are often rushing off somewhere to relax; maybe a trip to the beach to enjoy the surf and sun or a high country visit with cooler days.

We are fortunate in the Carolinas because we have many excellent costal choices. Among those choices, we have Hilton Head, Charleston, Myrtle Beach, Wilmington, Nags Head and our charming Outerbanks Island experience.

We can slowly explore nature and our iconic lighthouse trail, or we can properly roast ourselves while lounging on a choice sandy beach. The hours pass with a good book or music and moment by moment the stress of life floats away.

Sunburn pain is tempered with a variety of products which are often available in our summer travel bags. We try to remember to use our sunscreens, but sometimes forget. More seasoned travelers plan for those moments by bringing along the best sunburn pain reducing product we can find. We don’t like talking about the pain because we know we allowed it to happen. We just want it to quietly go away as soon as possible.

Most of our friends are polite enough to not go in for a hug when they notice the bright glow of summer pain. The extra loose-fitting clothing is often a giveaway.

Often, the rewards make up for the pain. The early morning and sunset walks on the beach are memorable. Setting on the balcony listing to the hypnotic waves makes life seem better, and the smell and feel of the salt air has its own power to heal.

Or maybe the coast and the smell of repeatedly applied sunscreen is not your happy place. Maybe your Zin is discovered in our beautiful Carolina mountains. You may love water; you just prefer smaller bodies of water and are most found of mountain streams.

There are many stories of lowlanders who seek the cooler mountain air environment in the summer and fall months. Like our coastal area for the Carolinas, our mountains offer great diversity. From the home of the Easter Band of Cherokee Indians to Murphy, Waynesville, Asheville and then on to the Great Smokey Mountains and the Blue Ridge Parkway.  

We have great variety in the High County and Foothills with Sparta, West Jefferson, Boone, Banner Elk, Grandfather Mountain and Wilkesboro.

The cooler mountain air, vistas and easier way of being brings great peace to many people. The relaxing sound of a waterfall or mountain stream has a way of melting away the stress of the day, not unlike that sunset walk on the beach. When nature can have her way with us, relaxation of life’s burdens is often the result.

I am not sure if nature is fixing us or if we are better able to deal with life when we become more relaxed. Maybe stepping aside from our worries for a moment allows solutions to reveal themselves. In any event, taking a break from our everyday demands might be a good way for us to stay busy this summer.

For those who live in the places that many of us are seeking as a place of summer refuge, forgive us as we are rushing through your hometowns. We are doing our best and we are grateful that you are sharing your environment with us.

We have a lot going on and anytime you want a distraction from your daily life come and visit our hometown.

Whatever you chose to do this summer, wisdom suggest that we all use proper protection. A little skin protection now is better than the treatment that may be required later.

Happy Summer Friends.

Carnival Days South Park/South Paws 🐾

My Beer Guard

Well, I hope everyone had as good a Thanksgiving as I did, but we all know that's not a realistic idea if I had a realistically great Thanksgiving.  From Syrian refugees, to Puerto Rican hurricanees, to those the same in the Virgin Islands, and to so many across the globe facing starvation, and the harshest living conditions, without a soup kitchen anywhere near by, not even conceived in their minds.  It is certain I am most thankful to have spent my Thanksgiving as I did.  Being displaced myself by Irma, I have very little to complain about with justification, though our own injustices do exist, we can't really complain too much when we get a parking ticket, if you know what I mean. Once again, it began at 5 Bar in downtown Athens.  5 Bar is probably the best thing ever to come out of Alabama... Besides Kirby Smart!  Go DAWGZ, the 2017 SEC Champs!  That's some SMART Football! Also, once again, the meal was superb, although if anybody went there on my word, I apologize, because I've been telling people for a couple of years now that you can cut the ham and turkey with your fork, which is true.  Only, this year the meal was served with plastic cutlery.  So, you couldn't prove my point.  If you tried and broke your fork, I'll own it!  No disrespect to 5 Bar.  I just wanted to preserve my credibility. I am all about properly managing expectations in life, unlike others who might have an office shaped like an oval, but claims it's a square!  The ham and turkey were still sublime.  That's how i started my day at 11am with what amounted to a Thanksgiving brunch. At 1:30 in the afternoon, my longtime friend Captain Paul picked me up to go to his house where his wife and her parents were there as well as his sister and brother in law.  Let me not fail to mention Colby, the greatest dog, and even Kenny, Leah & Fluffy, the cat who won't come inside the house even though there's a cat door.  This is the third year in a row I've been to the Captains house for T-day! As we were having conversation, the Captain asked me if the cat had gotten my tongue because I wasn't saying too much.  The fact of the matter is I was doing much more listening than talking because I wasn't saying much.  The fact of the matter is I was doing much more listening than talking because I was surrounded by a bunch of highly intelligent people.  The best thing I could do was listen, and then try to make some relevant and/or comedic interjection, my specialty. One thing is for sure, I felt at home and well I should have as the Capt'n told me I was considered a member of the family.  All I had to do was make it through the two previous feasts, and this one without pissing anybody off which I generally don't have any tendency to do.  The most beautiful part of it was we didn't discuss politics at all.  That's great because there was only one Trump supporter in the house and we all broke bread together in peace. As soon as I walked in the door I was immediately joyfully greeted by Colby, the shiny black mixed breed, best in the whole wide world... I know, I know, you think your dog is too.  And, well, you're right, too!  Colby is black, but he was a white chest.  So, he looks like he's always wearing a tuxedo which is great because he has a particularly regal look about him.  It's perfect! Shortly after we arrived, and none too soon, the first bottle of wine was uncorked, and from then on it flowed.  It was a rose, sweet, but light.  Good for starters, but the reds soon followed.  It wasn't until later that Captain Paul fired up the grill.  Untraditionally, we were not to have turkey this year, and neither did we last year when we had roasted duck, my first time to partake of the fowl.  This year, there was another new bird, quail, along with duck sausage and wild boar chops.  Those were my favorite and they don't taste like chicken, but they do taste like steak.  I've always said that one day I will dine with kings, and queens.  This must be what it's like except nobody was wearing any crowns. As the Captain and I were on the patio, I think i made the comment that everyone was such a wealth of knowledge and information, and perspective which is why using my ears twice as much as my mouth.  It was then the Captain informed me that he and I were the only two people of the seven that weren't Phd's.  Then, it all made sense!  I was hanging with the doctors!  Not only that, but Dr. Dan was originally from Lithuania.  His wife, the matriarch of the house, was straight outta Scotland, and her daughter, the captain's wife, an archaeologist grew up in San Francisco where Ma & Pa currently reside.  Cheers!  And, that we did until midnight when everyone pretty much agreed it was time to hit the hay. I was to take the sofa bed, and Colby was my bunk mate.  I've house sat for the Captain and his wife a couple of times before.  So, Colby and I already know each other.  Cats are usually a little slower to warm up, but Kenny and Leah were much more sociable than times before, but no cats in the bed please.  I'm allergic and even if I wasn't that would be absurd.  Can you imagine me sleeping with two cats and a dog?!?  I'm a dog person, yo?  Go DAWGZ!  Sorry, cat people.  That's just how it is. The next morning came with the sunrise shining in from the east when I awoke to find Colby siting upright on the bed seemingly enjoying the moment.  So, I joined him saying, "Colby you're a rock star like Elvis", as he continued to watch the scene.  I continued, "But, with that tuxedo you're wearing you're more like Sinatra", when his ears immediately perked up as if he knew exactly what I was saying. And, so it was the morning did rise as did all of us from our Thanksgiving slumber.  We had breakfast, and then it was time to go.  More company was to arrive that afternoon when Dr. Alison's brother and his wife were to come into town. The next day was Saturday.  I had already made my way to the Oink House and ordered a pitcher of PBR when my phone rang.  It was Captain Paul.  They were coming to eat lunch at the Oink House and wanted to know if I would join them.  Having already eaten, I explained, I would join them for beers only! As I was waiting an attractive blonde comes into the bar wearing a pair of Ray Ban Aviators, and grey ball cap with pink lettering in the form of LA, a Dodgers cap, but pink and grey.  She was heading in my direction with a smile on her face.  I was the only one sitting there.  She plopped up two chairs down, and I said, "Well, you sure do look like Hollywood"! She kind of laughed, and said, "Nah, I'm just hung over", which caused me to make a "Phwf" sound, with a following laugh!  I didn't bother to tell her I was trying to pay her a compliment, because took it and turned it into a joke, and that was good enough.  She knows she's hot anyway. About that time my party arrived and so I greeted them at the door with and embrace from Papa!  That was kinda cool.  It made me feel very European, as so often in other cultures men greet men with a hug, and even a kiss on the cheek.  We didn't go that far, but it was a gesture not often done in American culture.  I come from a family of huggers.  So, it was an old familiar for me. Anyway, we were seated in the booth, and went back over to see LA and explain to her I was going to leave my pitcher on the bar next to her, if she wouldn't mind, as I returned to my party with a pint of beer, not the whole pitcher.  She said, "No problem", and I quickly deemed her My Beer Guard, which she seemed to like.  She knew the guy working the bar anyway and they started talking and I sat back down. The food came as ordered, very quickly as is often the case at the Oink House.  Everybody started to eat, and I returned to fill my glass, thanking My Beer Guard for her service and protection from anyone who might want to spike my beer with GHB!  She laughed, and agreed. As the meal was consumed and conversation flowed, it was time for My Beer Guard to go.  As she came walking by I gave her a grip, as stopped to say, "You're on your own now, but I think you'll be fine".  I explained to the table that this was My Beer Guard, to which they nodded, sort of astonished, as I thanked her again.  And, that folks, is just how I met My Beer Guard, and her name is Raquel. Happy Thanksgiving & Happy Valentine's Day! Thanks for reading! ~Gabe from BLAHG, BLAHG, BLAHG!!! http://ift.tt/2EDLJ8s via IFTTT

The OGs Mickey D’s Beach Picnic South Park/South Paws

Hi Luv Luv your South Park/South Paws 🐾 Stuff <3 and I was wondering if you could have the main 4 and Butters playing at the park and eating popsicles or ice cream or something PWEAZE 🙏🏻

The OGs and Butters at the Park South Park/South Paws 🐾

TYSM <3 I hope you like it! Great ask this was fun to make✨💖✨

Main 4 Ice Cream Time South Park/South Paws

The Boyz go fishing 🎣 South Park/ South Paws 🐾

The Boyz Ice cream time South Park/South Paws 🐾

South Park/ South Paws 🐾