Kay so I’m aro right, and because of that I’ve got some funky cool weird shit around certain common relationship activities tee ehm, one of those being kissing. Broadly speaking, I don’t like it. Forehead kisses, shoulder kisses, basically anything not on the face, those are fine for me pretty much 100% of the time. But like. Kissing kissing?? Like making out?? Ahaha no. I’ll do it for like a bit or to prove a point or whatever but then I’ll either surreptitiously or blatantly wipe my lips off after.

My beloved sundrop knows I’m aro and, pretty early on in our qpr, asked what I’m comfortable with in regards to kissing, and after trying to explain verbally what I just outlined in writing they just simplified everything and said they’d follow my lead and let me initiate as I would. And that took SO MUCH pressure off!!

Let me explain: in literally every other relationship I’ve had, kissing was an expectation. Whether they were purely sexual or romantic, every single one of my partners just assumed we’d be locking lips eventually, if not constantly. (The sexual context made kissing more bearable, meaning that’s really the only time I enjoyed myself.) Making out for the sake of making out was more a duty or a performance than anything I did because I wanted to; I wasn’t initiating anything, I was simply fulfilling the expectation of my role. So to have all that pressure, that specific expectation removed entirely? For it to be left up to me and my comfort levels? I don’t think I can adequately describe the relief it gave me to someone who hasn’t experienced that before.

That initial conversation was months ago. Last fucking year, if I’m remembering right. And now I actively enjoy making out for the sake of it! It is so fucking weird, honestly, but like a nice kind of weird - the kind you get used to, eventually.

Anyway. Moral of the story, if you’re in a relationship and you wanna kiss your partner, ask what they’re comfortable with first. Different comfort levels? Do NOT for the love of FUCK pressure them, let them take things at their pace and to their comfort levels because pushing someone to do shit before they’re ready to is how you fuck a person UP. And it kinda pisses me off that it took me until my 20s to find someone who loves me unconditionally enough to work and live with me as I am.

why is s3 dair so good??? honestly, what is it about them (both as individual characters and relationship-wise) that makes it so... good, for lack of a better word?

it's the Narrative Foils, babe!

no, but really, this plot had EVERYTHING: there's first the setup that they're both at nyu even though they didn't want to be - it's where the ended up after their respective Yale dreams fell through.

then, there's the role reversal of Blair, who's always used to being on top, sure she was caught up in power struggles at Constance but there people still cared who she was, and now, nobody does. she's just another freshman. and Dan, who was used to a certain invisible kind of existence, is noticed on his very first day for being a Writer - and a good one! and he makes friends who actually like him as a person! it's him with the social capital now, and the first thing he spends it on is to help out Blair. (insane. they are insane. they should kiss.)

🪑 aside, this is also the first time in the show ever that Dan is unattached narratively to Serena. I mean, they're friends and on the verge of being family, but they'd been given real romantic closure in s2, so they start off the college arc truly as just friends, which means for the first time in the show, Dan's romantic arc prospects are openended, which in my unexpert opinion, pours a little extra sauce on his loaded interactions with Blair.

also he and Blair's roommate fuck and Blair sees him shirtless in his post woodchuck todd glow up and idk how a girl doesn't have strong feelings about that ya feel me?

AND (I think Nads has touched on this before?) Constance/St. Jude's was pretty...partitioned, I guess you could say, so with the exception of The Essay Contest, I don't think Blair and Dan were put in the position for any competition, but at a fully coed school? And with their similar interests they were bound to end up in classes together, and I swear it is such a CRIME that we didn't get any classroom hijinks with these ding-dongs. competing for top grades and rankings, fighting over a TA position, checking out all the material in the library on a topic to sabotage the other's research, it could have fed us Damien Darko vibes a season and a half earlier and I am BITTER.

I think ultimately it's how the beginning of college presented a twist on their previously perceived social standings (and understandings of each other), and that the sheer potential of starting over in a new place opened up windows of story that didn't/couldn't exist in the high school ecosystem. was it ultimately underexplored and underutilized? absolutely, but at least we have that s3 dair FWB fic on ao3...

please tell me all abt the sunwoo jichang and jacob fics PLEASSEE i know some of them like the sunkyu series but Pls 🙏🏼

my sweetest moni <3 ask and you shall receive ✨

Dancing With A Stranger (Ji Changmin)

summary: you both hated each other’s guts for as long as you could remember since joining the dance club. but as summer is approaching and your club has decided to host a summer camp getaway, you are left with no choice nor escape as you get paired up with your rival to perform a choreography together by the end of the camp.

pairing: rival Changmin x dancer f!reader

genre: angst, suggestive, slight fluff

a/n: okay so i was supposed to get this out for K-Vanity's Summer Event but due to irl stuff i wasn't able to finish it on time 😭 but i will eventually get this out bcs I LOVE THIS WIP. Sam Smith's Dancing With A Stranger will forever be one of my ult fav songs ever ✋ tho depending on when i'll publish this i'll def change the season to match the timeline by then fs

After Hours (SunKyu series)

summary: you've been The Lupin's main singer for the past several years, and none of the large number of men who have tried to woo you has ever piqued your interest. that is until one fateful night where you encounter a secret admirer of yours, Kim Sunwoo, and that is where you truly believe and realised that he was one of a kind.

though at the same time, your roommate, or rather friends-with-benefits at this point, Ji Changmin has begun to see his relationship with yours as something much more then ever before.

it is up to you to make the ultimate decision. to choose the admirer? or your one and only roommate.

pairing: admirer Sunwoo x singer f!reader x fwb Changmin

genre: suggestive, angst, otome

a/n: this whole series was actually inspired from The Weeknd's Moth To A Flame, so umm yes, this will be pretty suggestive 🤓 i plan to make this a mini series, so i'll probably have 5 general chapters, and then eventually one chapter per route (aka you will be choosing either Sunwoo's or Changmin's ending depending on your choice) so yeah kinda like those jp otome games lol

a lil snippet from the drafts 👀

Untitled (SangKyu series)

okay so i have two options for this

Black & White Swans au

pairing: royal Sangyeon x royal f!reader x enemy Changmin

genre: angst, suggestive, crime, fluff, otome

a/n: this whole series was inspired from this tiktok i saw!! i was like omg that would be such a cool series 😮 though the thing is i've never written royal au before, nor do i have much experience in them cs i don't really read much royal au fics to begin with 😭 so i'm still debating on going this route or not

Cops & Robbers au

pairing: detective Sangyeon x detective f!reader x thief Changmin

genre: crime, angst, some fluff & suggestive, otome

a/n: now this is a genre im pretty much more comfortable writing in lmao this was inspired by one of my all-time fav jp drama Dorokei!! i literally watched this for Nakajima Kento back then 😭 but i'd imagine you and Sangyeon are detectives who've been on the hunt for Changmin for as long as possible (and Changmin would kinda play the role of Arsène Lupin in this). so every time your police force has always failed to capture the man himself, because what they didn't know was that you were living with two identities, aka also being Changmin's right-hand woman in his crime spree hohoho 👀

like before, around 5 general chapters before choosing which route/ending you'd prefer!!

summary: the campus heartthrob whom you've had a crush on for the longest time finally asks you out on a date. since you have never been on a date before, you decided to elicit the help of your best friend, Kim Sunwoo, for some romantic advice.

pairing: f!ckboy Sunwoo x g.n!reader

genre: suggestive, angst, fluff

a/n: never in a million years would i have known that this would be my most well-received fic as of now and with the many requests i've gotten to make a pt2 for this, i will have to now (technically it was my fault for ending it on a cliffhanger so 👀)

but eyyy, with pt2 all i can say is we'll def see y/n's date with Hyunjae, Sunwoo gets jealous and is not happy about it (though he tries to hide it to the best of his abilities but he will eventually fail HAHAH), confronts y/n abt it, and yeehaw more spicy scenes coming your way folks ✨

read pt.1 here!!

Door (Kim Sunwoo)

pairing: ex Sunwoo x g.n!reader

genre: angst, hurt

a/n: this is inspired from their jp track door! ever since i released lip sync i was determined to also write for my other fav tracks from the album, one of them being this one!! i haven't planned much of the plot yet, but judging from the lyrics i'm definitely going for an angsty breakup fic, may or may not get both Sunwoo & reader to be reunited at the end 👀

Starry Night (Jacob Bae)

summary: your childhood friend Jacob has promised you that he would give you the best graduation gift you'll ever receive. you did not expect that you would both travel out of the country to the City of Love and eventually become more than just friends.

pairing: best friend Jacob x g.n!reader

genre: fluff, crack & humour

a/n: this is a fuzzy warm fluffy cobie fic!! there's just something about stargazing while lying down on a field with your loved ones. originally, i had planned to write this for his birthday way back in May, but i couldn't so i'm saving this for the future! but i'd imagine you both lying down on the fields near where the Eiffel Tower is, and just stargazing with one another 🫶 and i'll def write about some cute and fluffy moments from their trip (cafe hoping, etc.)

ask me about my wips!

Trope Game

Tagged by @virgo-dream , thank you! This was actually a lot of fun!

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic? -10 -> very dissuaded 0 -> don’t care either way 10 -> very enticed nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or if you have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Age Gap: Let's call it 7. It's not like 'omg age gap I gotta read it no matter what' but I'm very into it when it fits the characters/story.

Codependency: 0, I guess. I mean. Not sure I care how healthy the relationship is written if it's my blorbos of the moment so it's not going to have any bearing on whether or not I read a fic, by itself.

Enemies to lovers: ...2, maybe. Depends entirely on the characters and how I feel about them together, if they're canonically enemies. Now if it's an AU of canon friendlies being initially cast as enemies, that's more of a 7.

Enemies with benefits: Mm, maybe a -7? See last question for caveats, but ultimately if a romantic relationship for my pairing isn't the end goal I'm probably not interested.

Fake dating/relationship: 10. Delicious. Almost always a delight. Ripe for willfully blind pining and yelling-at-my-screen levels of interpersonal density.

Found family: 0, I guess? It's a favorite trope, for certain, but...what am I trying to say. Usually when it applies it's carried over from canon, and thus expected? So the tag feels extraneous and I would gloss over it more than pay it any attention. If that makes sense.

Friends to lovers: 10. That's The Good Shit

Friends with benefits: -1, maybe. Depends on the other tags. If it's my ship that's fwb and they're not going to end up in a relationship I'm not terribly interested, but if it's a side pairing I'm not overly invested in then cool, whatever.

Hurt/comfort: 9. Other tags/characters can of course make a difference but generally, this is also The Good Shit.

Love triangle: -10. Like. If it's triangular building toward poly, and I'm onboard with all three ships, and other tags sound interesting, then maybe I'll take a gander. But if it's just a straight up triangle, yeah, probably not interested.

Mistaken/hidden identity: 8. I do enjoy this, quite a lot.

Monster fu… relationship: 10. In a fic where all the tags are green, 10. 11, even. And if the tags are red, this might be enough to make me risk it anyway.

Obsession, possessiveness, etc: Depending on other tags etc...well, if it's mutual and not particularly dark, 8. Dreamling does this really well. Otherwise, probably a -9?

Opposites (like grumpy x sunshine, etc): 0. I mean. I don't know that this is the kind of thing I see tagged? It's kind of either how a ship is or isn't, and I do enjoy it, but if we're just talking about fic tags then either I ship the ship, and other tags will be considered, or I don't ship it and adding a type-of-ship tag is not going to change my disinterest.

Poly: 0. If I'm into all the ships involved and other tags/summary are green, sure. Otherwise, nah.

Pregnancy: 0. Not an incentive, not a deterrent.

Second chance: 1, maybe. Slightly incentivizing, depending on other factors.

Sex to feelings: Ah, sure. 5, maybe?

Slowburn: 3. Love a good slowburn, but it's not overly-incentivizing.

Soulmates: 2. Can be very hit-or-miss as a trope but if it's my blorbos and the rest of the tags and summary are green, my interest can be piqued.

Tagging, no obligation, feel free to @ me on the existing post if you just did this recently: @danikatze , @valeriianz , @delta-pavonis , @staroftheendless , @chaosheadspace , @seiya-starsniper , @teejaystumbles , @galacticstingray

!!

[Send me a "!!" and I'll tell u about one of my OCs!]

ok the logical progression is to tell u abt noam now!!

[ID: A pencil sketch of a man. He has long hair shaved on one side, a mesh shirt over a bare chest, and short shorts. end ID.}

Noam has like. evolved a lot and also not. He's self admitadly the closest thing i have to a self insert, but more in personality and backstory than anything else, not visually or aesthetically at all.

He's,,, kinda a cis dude?? but like. not. mostly he's unlabled. He plans to maybe go on low-dose e in the future and is only comfortable in feminine clothing but feels comfortable identifying as a queer man and only likes he/him. For me, i don't rlly see him as such, but like. that was originally the intention. Mostly he's just a really femme dude. He was born in sanfrancisco, but moved in with his grandmother in surburban mass in his preteens. He was a 'troubled teen', and got landed in theraputic boarding school with little hesitation. He hated that place, but met several friends he still keeps in contact with, the most signifigant being Mavis. Mavis and him have a difficult relationship, they were initally very attracted to eachother when they met and started dating immediatly, and then realized they were better off as friends, but then a week goes by and they were hooking up again. Sometimes they would call their relationship romantic, sometimes they were strictly fwbs and sometimes they were totally platonic, idk either. He dates around a lot, mostly casual stuff, and Mavis and one other boyfriend were pretty much his only serious partners before he met kidd, who he was infatuated with immediatly. Im always workshopping how they met, but the very basic outline is that they ran into eachother by accident in some way, spent several hours together, and then lost contact, finding eachother on a dating app a few weeks later. Noam is the ultimate doting boyfriend, absolutly overjoyed to even be around his partners.

He's generally pretty quiet and introverted, shy and nervous, but the kinda guy who can't contain himself if he likes someone back, he's not subtle when he knows the feeling's mutual, but it takes a minute to get to that point. He wishes everyone would just tell him to his face what they think of him, but could never do the same. He's excitable about his intrests, prone to infodumping. Overall, however, he's almost always visably depressed. It never quite leaves him, he's always down on himself.

He hates his parents and loves his grandmother, but is really a 'make ur own family' kinda guy, he surrounds himself with the people he loves. He works as a graphic designer, and thats what he studied, but he beats himself up everyday about not studying something else. Design is fine, but he really wishes he had the confidence to do art he has more passion for. He likes his current job, though. He works for a women's health clinic, making graphics. He met Kel, one of his best friends through it, and is well liked in the workplace. After work, he spends the night going to whatever shows he can find, he loves live music like nothing else, he doesn't care what it is, he'll go see it. He spends almost every waking moment out of his house, going to art galleries and hanging out in parks, barely even sleeping at his own apartment. He just hates being alone, but is still somehow introverted. Overall, he's just kinda a neurotic guy who has a lot of emotions he can barely hold in. sweet, but awkward as hell. He's also my literal everything

thx for asking!!

back atcha for the ship meme! Hawkeye/BJ and Hawkeye/Margaret (also if you feel like it, Hawkeye/Trapper)

Thank you!

Hawkeye/BJ

The thing that I'm into when it comes to Hawkeye/BJ are the ways they are bad for each other, incompatible, and would end up crashing and burning imo, so that's what I focus on. I think they're very interesting from that angle.

Healthy relationship (lying) is for a post-canon committed relationship, because I still like to think they'd crash and burn eventually lol.

The fandom has ruined it is way too harsh imo, I wouldn't be that mean lol, but I ticked it because I'm just not really into the way they're usually written in fic. Fluffy or happily ever after Hawkeye/BJ bores me a lot, and I really wish there was like, at least a substantive subset of Hawkeye/BJ fans that leaned into their potential issues and toxicity, because I'd read the hell out of that if it existed. Gimme codependency, gimme BJ's detachment clashing cruelly with Hawkeye's emotional intensity, gimme Hawkeye's superiority complex and BJ's inferiority complex, gimme BJ lashing out a ton of buried resentment all at once a la Wheelers and Dealers, gimme weird kinky sex dynamics, gimme mutual manipulation, etc etc.

(And for the record I don't think it's unbelievable or anything that they could get together and solve their issues and incompatibilities and be happy and healthy, I just don't find that prospect entertaining personally lol.)

Hawkeye/Margaret

I don't think they're horrible for each other as friends, but romantically I think they would be awful together and not in a fun way. And I really really like their platonic friendship and romance ruins it for me personally. The relief I felt when their hook-up episode existed to establish that they're bad for each other as romantic partners... kudos to this show for not going there with them honestly. That said, the specific situation I'd potentially be into it is unromantic, kinky, not super fulfilling hooking up once or twice and no more. Not even full fwbs, just like, one or two nights before they call it quits, I could roll with that and I think it could be a good avenue for an interesting set of character studies.

Hawkeye/Trapper

The worst thing I can say about Hawkeye/Trapper is that I think they're very compatible and would have an overall healthy and positive relationship lol. They're great together, they're fun, they have a solid dynamic that appeals to me, they're maybe a liiiiittle dull compared to some of my other ships because there's very little potential there for fucked up issues or toxicity etc, but like, I ship them because Hawkeye is one of those rare characters who, as much as they're fun to torture, I ultimately do want to be happy.

Also Trapper left him a goodbye kiss the same way BJ gave his wife a proxy kiss and then Hawkeye chased him to the airport, is it really subtext at this point

hi, vic. sending you lots of love and light, because i adore who you are and everything you do on this site. it's lovely. 🫶🏼

i have been going through something that i'd appreciate your thoughts on: i was /seeing/ someone (if i can even call it that) around this time last year. we'd met for the first time on my birthday last year, and the connection was immediate and immense. nothing remotely romantic or more happened then, since we both agreed that there was a considerable age-gap, but the friendship we created was perhaps one that id not had in a long time, if ever, and nothing was off the table in terms of conversation and divulgence. i was there for him while he was healing from medical issues and going through his divorce and he held me through the tumult of my job, my adhd diagnosis, and my parents' divorce. (the timing of the things happening in our lives simultaneously was also interesting and strange.)

on christmas eve last year, i was invited to his place (along with a friend) for lunch and board games. we'd both stopped seeing different people shortly before, and it was a great day, until we drunkenly had sex later in the night. he called me the next day, apologising profusely because he thought he took advantage of me and the situation, but we figured it out, and yes, it kept happening for months after that, but neither of us were seeing anyone else and he'd told me that he doesn't do fwb relationships so i thought we'll be okay.

ultimately, i started overthinking the whole thing because i felt like it lacked certain boundaries, and even though everything was good and he always went out of his way to take care of me when we were together (picking me up if id had a long day at work and taking me out for dinner, stuff like that), things still felt off, but i waited until the divorce proceedings were done with, so as to not overwhelm him. when i finally brought it up with him, he said he'd 'never even considered' me as anything more than a friend, and that i was 'overestimating' things as they were because he was indeed seeing someone else as well, then went on to say that he didn't want to 'be responsible' for me when i start to build my life and dreams around him because of what had been up with us. all because id told him one time that i'd someday, under ideal financial scenarios, want to move abroad and get my phd. i ended things with him shortly after, and haven't spoken to him since june of this year.

am i wrong for feeling like he almost used my ambition to find his way out of that situation? like, i believed him when he said that he doesn't do casual relationships, and at the time, i wasn't looking for anything, but am i stupid for feeling like i was wronged and betrayed here? i'm not religious at all, but i am spiritual and with the way it all transpired in the beginning, it had felt like id found a soulmate in him (not necessarily romantic, ofc). and yes, im not hurting as much anymore, but i still think about him and wonder how much of this was my own fault. i'm still fond of him and care for him, despite everything that happened, and while i wouldn't want to date him anymore, i miss having the friendship we used to have. how should i navigate this feeling of grief and loss despite knowing that it was probably for the best?

hi dia 🌟 thank you for your sweet words (-':

i can't tell you if that's what he did, but regardless of his intentions and reasons, i can tell you that you are not wrong to feel that way. it's understandable to question those things and to feel disoriented when someone you felt an intense connection with expresses that it isn't like that for them, especially after having shared intimacy in different ways.

can you elaborate on what made the connection feel immense right away?

there's some things about his behavior that i find a bit fishy, and i'm going to express it and you can chew on it and see if it's resonant or not. i'm curious what made him change his mind on the boundary initially set based on your age difference? i'm also wondering why he would think he took advantage of you and the situation when you had sex? there's another minor detail that could make sense with context, but i want to bring it up as well: it's notable to me that there was an understanding that a romantic and/or sexual relationship was off limits, but there being no limits from his side in terms of assumed emotional/intimate/personal sharing - it seems half baked to me.

i also think on-going support through a divorce and for medical things is something that you typically share in very close friendships or romantic relationships.

him expressing not doing fwb relation's certainly points at your relationship being romantic, in my opinion. it depends on context of course, if he said it like "i don't usually do fwb" or if it was a clear "i don't do that".

what boundaries did you notice it lacking? and what did felt off?

his reaction to you bringing up your feelings about the relation you shared, seems dismissive and uncaring to me. even if he at no point felt a romantic connection, he must know that the things you had been doing together and talking about, very easily would be received as romantic. something, to my understanding, based on what you said about boundaries, wasn't made clear to you. i also think there at the very least should have been an open dialogue about other sexual partners.

i don't think i fully understand the talk and the correlations between him saying he doesn't want to be responsible for you building your life and dreams about him and you having mentioned studying abroad - could you elaborate?

it seems like a good call to call it quits.

i also want to say that there being signs, circumstances and synchronicity around someone doesn't always mean that it's a soulmate. and depending on how you define soulmate; i prefer saying a soul connection, it does not always mean a fulfilling relationship in this life. having loved one another before, does not mean that you have to do it again. it can, but it doesn't always.

allow the grief as any other grief, the relationship was there, and now it isn't. it's okay to miss it, and it's okay not to want to go back. give yourself time and grace. clarify your boundaries for the future, use this experience to enforce more directness and openness in future relations 🌾

honorhearted asked : 💖 for a reason TO date my muse (wasn't sure if you would answer this for Astrid over here, but I'm curious lol.)

To date or not to date. / @honorhearted -- accepting

        So far, I haven’t explored Astrid in really any romantic relationship (only the realm of FWB, complicated feelings, that sorta deal where there’s a level of toxicity). I’m open to it if the chemistry is there, but because I haven’t explored that side of her and she’s still a relatively new muse that doesn’t tell me everything about her, my answer might change over time. If the person isn’t involved in the Dark Brotherhood, Astrid will likely see them through the lens of “How can this person benefit me?” So there’s a level of toxicity and manipulation in the mix. Astrid does kind of look at the Dark Brotherhood in this own way as well, but ultimately, Astrid has more care and compassion for those in her group than outsiders. If you are outside of that, you will likely see a different side of Astrid than people in the Dark Brotherhood. With the Bastrid ship, we can see a bit of Astrid maybe developing feelings, or some sort of compassion, with our whole Bradford idea, but I think her vulnerability will be a slow progress to unravel until anything is set in stone. Outside of the DB, Astrid can be guarded about her feelings involving love and affection. 

        In general, I am interested in seeing a more compassionate side of Astrid. I don't think I toy with this side of her that often. To me, Astrid is a ball of string I’m still trying to unravel, but I really like the idea of Astrid being a mentor to someone and showing the more compassionate side of herself. She’ll still be sly, charming, and everything, but I think it’ll show some sides of herself we don’t witness often in her threads.

        Enough of my rambling. Why you should date Astrid:

        Astrid is really protective and does have a huge heart under all those layers. As I stated before, Astrid has multiple masks to where sometimes they all combine into one, or when one mask slips off (like her role as leader), the other masks of herself crack under the pressure and she loses herself. So how huge her heart is might not be seen under her passive-aggressive, manipulative, coy, and charming ways. She will kill almost anyone for the right price, but if someone has a backstory similar to hers (or feel as if they are an outsider), it’ll pull on her sympathies. For those she calls friends and family, she will defend them to the very end and may give up her life for them in the process. At any moment, Astrid is willing to put her life on the line if the Dark Brotherhood is on the chopping block, but she prefers other alternatives. So, in essence, if Astrid loves you she will defend you and protect you to the end. She will always be in your corner.

        As referenced, Astrid’s inner sensitivity isn’t always apparent, but Astrid can be a good provider and caretaker if need be. She’ll work hard to keep you comfortable. She’ll stay up all night and forsake her own sleep schedule to listen to all your problems. Astrid can actually be a really good comforting figure when it comes down to it. This might be a weird side of the “healing your inner child” concept, but basically, Astrid is more empathetic than it seems. 

        Astrid is polyamorous, but she’s loyal. If her partner isn’t comfortable with her seeing other people, she’ll respect that and keep the relationship monogamous. Just because Astrid leans towards polyamory and has a flirty personality doesn’t mean she’s unfaithful. Arnbjorn says Astrid forgets to mention him, but as we see in her canon media, when he’s off fighting Cicero, her voice dips into a concerned intonation when she asks the Listener to go off and make sure he’s alright. She asks multiple times about Arnbjorn and it really shows that he means a lot to her because until then, we never saw Astrid this concerned or emotional. 

do you think canon brittany would act similarly to got you stuck in my body brittany if quinntana was endgame?

Aw man, this really depends on how Quinntana reach that endgame though... Brittany's reaction in GYSOMB makes total sense given the circumstances, but that doesn't mean she'd have a problem with Quinntana in every universe, and I think she'd be totally fine with them having a fwb relationship regardless. But if Quinntana are getting serious, then broadly speaking I see several possible reactions, again depending on how Brittany finds out/what the timing is:

Season 4 (post wedding through to end of season)

1. Brittany and Santana broke up (at Santana's request) because long distance was too hard. New Haven might be near New York, but it's not exactly an easy walk from the loft for Santana. I could see Britt finding it a bit hypocritical, and maybe wondering if it was just that, ultimately, she wasn't worth it and Quinn is. Sad face.

2. If we follow the GYSOMB timeline or something similar. Say Santana finds out about Bram without Brittany realising and grows closer to Quinn, then Brittany might end up feeling blindsided by their new relationship, because she'd expected Santana to move on eventually, but not to their closest friend. I doubt she'd be thrilled about this at first. And she'd definitely fight back.

3. Happens in an impossible utopia where the UHT are given a leading friendship storyline alongside the Quinntana romance, and both go back to help Brittany when she flips out over MIT. Here, I could see her being happy for Santana when she sees how naturally Quinntana together have begun smoothing out each other's sharp edges a bit. She's off to MIT, and Brittana romantically is over, so I think she'd be genuinely happy for her best friends, even if a little sad it wasn't meant to be for her and Santana in the end.

Season 5/6

1. Quinntana have had a steady fwb relationship through s4, and Britt has no idea. She makes her move on Santana during the 100th episode, Puck makes his on Quinn, then that serves as the catalyst for dumb!bitches Quinntana realising their feelings for each other. Brittany would probably figure it out before Santana does, and let her in on the secret, even if it means breaking her own heart in the process. I...sad.

2. Similar to above, except when Brittany finds out its Quinn who Santana has feelings for, she could just as easily go into jealous/protective mode if Quinn gives her reason to. Maybe she sees Quick talking closely to each other in the hall, or maybe something else happens, but I could see her lashing out at Quinn purely on the basis that she'd want Santana to have a girlfriend who loves her and isn't afraid to be with her, not someone who is going to play with her emotions as part of some weird game like Quinn has been known to do in the past.

3. Britt either never returns for the 100th episode (and Quick's storyline is given to Quinntana), or she's there but just in a reduced capacity/churro kiss never happens, and Quinntana get together sometime before the end of the series. If Quinntana happen after a season or two of build up, then I find it hard to believe Brittany wouldn't be the first up out of her seat applauding the inevitable duet announcement in the choir room. They're her besties, she wants them to be happy.

Post s6

1. If we're not following canon events and Brittana never got back together in season 5, then I think it'd be one of those bitter-sweet "one that got away" vibes for Brittany, but she'd ultimately be happy for them.

2. If we are following canon events then oof. I'm not sure I'm ready to invite Brittana divorce discourse onto my blog in our good year 2022, in which case all I'm left with is the conclusion that Brittany's death is what brings Quinntana together in this scenario, which... bigger oof. Guess we'd never know what her reaction was in that case, but presumably she wouldn't want Santana to live alone for the rest of her life, so...

Hello friend! If it’s not too much trouble, what is everyone’s romantic experience (and sexual, if you feel comfortable with divulging that?)

Wow anon are you on a mind link with me? Did you psychic hack into my thoughts? I was just thinking about how long their longest relationships have been.... 

Warden is..... okay this is rather painful for me to divulge but maybe some of you have an idea of this from the previous asks: Warden is bad at relationships!!! Romantic, friendly, familial, all of them!! Your golden boy sucks! I was just thinking that his longest relationship is probably like, a week? He’ll be like “Yeah sure I’d love to go out with you” and then he doesn’t ever call because he's too busy getting his nose broken in an alley somewhere. 

Sexual experience has been... somewhat limited. One-night stands make him feel used, he doesn’t enjoy them and avoids them now. He’s also had a handful of crushes on some people that he’s chosen not to act on because he knows “That would be a bad idea” and one of them still managed to end quite badly so now he’s pretty closed off and doesn’t like to even try.

.

Griffin is the most technically experienced among the cast, actively dating through all of high school and a lot of his adult life. Griffin’s crushes never last long because she’ll just ask them out and get disillusioned asap. Her track record relationship was on average 1-2 months at a time, because that was the amount of time it took for Griffin to notice that they can’t keep up with her in one way or another - but once in a while she’d have someone who’d last, like, a year before they ended things amicably.

Well-rounded sexual experience. One-night stands did not make Griffin feel used, and one of his longest relationships was a poly one. I know what you’re thinking: would Griffin get into a poly relationship with the MC? Yes, certainly. He would love to. But in the game? No, because he’s picky and won’t date anybody in the agency other than MC. (Otherwise she would have been dating them already before the MC showed up....)

.

Mia has had some brief puppy love relationships as a sociable little babby girl, and then in high school she dated this one boy who was very bad news and I can’t really go into detail but haha she nearly killed him once. Mia’s been quite anxious about hurting romantic partners ever since.

Never had any one-night stands. Limited sexual experience because she’s still rather young and hasn’t been adventurous. 

.

Dart was engaged for a long time and quite committed to that relationship. 3-4 years? He’s more experienced with conflict resolution and compromise than everyone else due to that. He and his fiancée kept having to push off the wedding though, which led to a lot of resentment and problems. Ultimately she cheated on him, sent him a photo, and that was that.

Dart doesn’t miss his ex, but he uh, might still be a bit mad.

Never had any one-night stands. Might have been open to the idea of a FWB relationship, but never went through with them.  Generally disinterested in forming new relationships, really; I think he had some brief relationships before the engagement, breaking up for either for petty reasons (”she walked too slow”) or because the girl, like, made fun of him for being a vegetarian and pressured him to eat a steak or something. 

.

Jade it is a mystery 👻  No, if you ask her directly, she will say she doesn’t remember ever being in a relationship but at the same time kind of feels like she had one at some point? It’s very strange. It bugs her a lot. 

Tabloids like to say that she’s in a relationship with Warden, because they were seen walking next to each other one time, but tabloids also like to say she’s dating like 5 other men she’s never met and she’s very appalled by it all. 

Fic Recs/Mandatory Reading for Reddie fans

Here is an incomplete list of some of my favorite Reddie fics on ao3, because i cannot get over the sheer talent of this fandom’s wonderful writers! A lot of these are the Greatest Hits that you’ll find on almost every fic list, but that’s why I consider them mandatory reading. like if you haven’t read some of these, what are you doing?

the years go by like days by georgiestauffenberg, rated M

the 27 years in between, but better because richie and eddie stay together. every time i think of this fic, i think of that lady gaga meme where she’s like “brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, etc” and maybe it’s bc this is one of the first reddie fics i ever read, but this one is always gonna be my favorite

broken record by spunknbite, rated E

the mother of all time loop fics. every reddie veteran gets chills at the phrase “the house on Neibolt was still standing”

literally everything by stitchy

like seriously just clear a few days bc you’re not gonna want to stop reading this author once you start. no other author has made me literally fucking cackle in one paragraph and sob in the next like this one, pls do yourself a favor and devour all their works like i did 

the night we met (take me back) by camerasparring, rated E

ch2 fix-it where eddie shows up at richie’s door alive and with no memory. great slow burn with a wonderfully conflicted richie, 10/10

let’s hear it for my baby! series by cloudings, rated E

OOOOOOOHHH boy! a modern teen!reddie grindr AU that’s both steamy AND sweet?? more like a fucking blessing amen hallelujah

a heart that laughter has made sweet by marjaani, rated E

another lovely teen!reddie fic that’s got it all! sweet, stupid boys, humor, a teeny bit of angst, and some 5-alarm fire smut with some top eddie, as a treat

keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice. by theappleppielifestyle, rated T

angst with a happy ending is my favorite, and this one is just fantastic. so sweet, so sad! and stan is featured as eddie’s afterlife buddy and idk about y’all but i cannot get enough of stanley uris in my reddie fics. read this, then read all this author’s reddie fics, they’re all amazing

collateral by loosecannon, sheepknitssweater, rated E

a post-ch2 fic that i guess could be classified as fix-it, BUT with some very interesting twists. they beat the clown, everyone lives, but no one really gets the tropey happy ending. the WIP sequel is also incredible and i live for the updates.

the greater fool  series by mischiefmanager, mostly rated T with some E

this is a series i’ll reread a lot bc it’s so fucking good. follows young reddie into early adulthood, mostly a bunch of cute shit where they figure out themselves and their relationship. also contains the single best teen reddie fic in existence, he came in through the window, but reading the whole series is a must

brokeback derry and everything else by Amuly, rated E

27 years in between, richie and eddie reconnect in their 20s and meet back up in derry twice a year to remember and love each other before going back to their lives and forgetting. so much pain. there’s a lot of sweet stuff in there, but you can see shit’s gonna get complicated from miles away and the anticipation almost gave me stomach ulcers (in a good way). ultimate angst with a happy ending.

let me name the stars for you by playedwright, rated M

speaking of angst with a happy ending...Martian AU!!!!! this one fucked me up in the best way, i literally called my roommate at 2am to vent to her about my emotions after reading it. i go back and reread chapter 8 just to be overwhelmed by it, and it makes me cry every time. plus, there are awesome sequels/companion pieces in the series! read this, i beg you!

walk through fire for you by hyruling, rated T

unwind after all that angst with some cute, drunk, confused eddie being very upset when he finds out richie is engaged. richie only teases him a little before pointing out the matching ring on eddie’s finger. 

in the heat of the summer (you're so different from the rest) by kaboomslang, rated E

post-ch2 slow burn with tags that really say it all, including but not limited to: eddie moves to california and richie is a mess, Eddie Kaspbrak’s Hot Girl Summer, and cute middle aged man dates

pivotal moments by danfanciesphil, polypocket, rated E

high school reddie has a sort of fwb thing goin on, but emotions get in the way. featuring wonderful bevchie friendship, hella miscommunication, cute double dates, high eddie, and a happy ending

like a bullet in the back by jerry_duty, rated M

adult idiots in love! a personal favorite trope of mine! slow burn with a fair helping of angst but a really great ending. richie stays with eddie in new york while he’s there on business, and it takes these losers SO LONG to figure it out but the way they dance around it is very cute

no sense of living without aim [WIP] by liesmyth, rated E

richie and eddie meet on grindr in the 27 years between and hey, whadda ya know, they fall in love! i really love this fic but i’m pretty sure it’s been abandoned. i’ve had it open on my phone browser for like 3 months with no update but i still check it regularly bc i’m pathetic and this fic is just so good i’m DYING to know what happens next so read at ur own risk

a strange sense of familiarity [WIP] by Katranga, rated E

another “they meet and fall in love without remembering” fic, and even though it’s not complete yet, it gets regular updates. oh, also, i’m obsessed with it. they’re long distance fuck buddies who can’t admit they’re in love, and then they get hit with the childhood memories! and everyone lives! what’s not to love!  also PLEASE read kisses take like mint and every other reddie work by this author, they are all fantastic

adult friends by sudowoodo, rated T

AU where adult reddie meet at a first aid seminar for work (immediately fall in love), become friends, become best friends, and finally get to be happy. has some super repressed eddie and intensely pining richie, which is always fun, and genuinely made me laugh out loud. also please check out this author’s other reddie fics, there’s some super sweet kid reddie in there that really warms the heart

the mind's a funny fruit by joldiego, rated T

eddie wakes up barely alive in derry, has 0 memory, calls himself richie, and moves in with some lesbians. an absolute must read that ought to be on every reddie fic rec compilation. i read this a long time ago and just thinking about it makes me want to read it again.

now what i'm gonna say may sound indelicate [WIP] by IfItHollers, rated E

it took me entirely too long to find this fic since i joined the fandom, and it’s truly a fucking masterpiece. it’s almost at 200k now and still unfinished, and the slow burn is excruciating, but this is a legendary fic for a reason. eddie spends the first chunk of this fic in the hospital recovering from the massive chest wound, and then he and richie move the recovery to ben’s cabin in the woods. the author’s notes for each chapter are a story in themselves

signs of a new lifetime by swordfishtrombones, rated T

one of the sweetest, most romantic reddie fics i’ve ever read. a fresh take on a classic concept: post-ch2, they’re in love, they haven’t said/done anything about it yet, BUT!!! it’s not angsty! they are all cute and giggly like “you say it first!” “no, you say it first!” and it makes me fucking MELT

broadcasting tower by swordfishtrombones, rated E

back-to-back recs from the same author! bc i love these fics so much! sort of similar to the last one in that they both know what’s up and just haven’t said it, but this one’s got the angst! i didn’t know when i read it that it was the same author as the other fic, and i thought how funny, i found another reddie author that perfectly captures this pair in such a wonderfully romantic way! i also just noticed there’s a follow up to this so now i have to go read that immediately

eurydice; the original comeback kid by Vulcanodon, rated M

for the love of god please read this and the other work in this series. it’s a ch-2 fix-it with some intense action sequences and major pining, and it has haunted me since i first read it

love on the telephone by tempestbreak, rated E

okay this one is really just 30k of pure smut but it’s also so sweet and features a mini sexual awakening for eddie and some insecure richie with an emphasis on how much they love and trust each other. also it doesn’t hurt that the smut is fire, like does anyone else want that twink obliterated, or is it just me?

the boy who loves you by candlejill, rated E

eddie lives, richie confesses, things are chill and then they’re not. richie’s career flourishes, which is always nice to read and is what ultimately catalyzes eddie’s gay awakening and realization of his love for richie. it’s got some sad angsty parts and a very sweet ending, and it up there as one of my favorite reddie fics of all time

richie and eddie break up [WIP] by skeilig, rated M

a refreshing and realistic take on life ch-2 for the losers, because being in love at thirteen doesn’t mean you can fall into a perfect relationship at 40. i’ll admit, i’m hoping this will ultimately be a “richie and eddie get back together” fic, but it’s still a very good read (and often very funny in the second chapter) at the moment in the midst of their break up

september 1989 and everything else by pineapplecrushface, rated T

cute kid reddie figuring it out and making me smile. the follow up to this and the after derry series by this author are also personal favorites

go west by ssstrychnine, rated T

road trip fic! an absolute work of art slow burn with teen reddie in the 90s. it’s so beautifully written i just wish i could go back and read it for the first time again

the edification of eddie kaspbrak by tozier, rated M

character study with some incredible fucking prose, my lord it gorgeous. explores how eddie learns about love as he grows up, and it’s super fucking sad sometimes bc the poor boy doesn’t know how to have the things he wants and i just want to give him a hug, but it’s really a spectacular fic

circular motion by sinchronicity, rated M

soulmate!AU that follows book canon and even though it’s been a long time since i’ve read it and the details are fuzzy, i remember absolutely loving it and thinking it was incredible

tell me you know by RichiesToesHurt, rated E

college losers with some severely pining and jealous richie with a lovely ending 

predicament bondage [WIP] by dgalerab, rated E

i resisted reading this fic for so long, recently broke and binged all of it, and now i’m like frothing at the mouth for updates. richie’s a closeted actor/comedian who meets eddie, a professional Dom, when he needs help researching a role. they become friends, they develop crushes, richie realizes he’s a sub, and it’s just so much fun to read

there’s a lot more fics to rec so i might add on to this in the future, but in the meantime my biggest tip for for reading fanfiction that took me embarrassingly long to figure out: focus on the authors! if you read something you like, check out the rest of the work by that author bc odds are you’ll like that too. i mentioned it in a few specific works above, but check out the authors catalogues for these fics. if i included every work by these authors that i loved, this list would be miles long

feel free to add on any great stuff i missed, there’s sure to be tons of it!

━♡ guess the age 26 year old december baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because samantha song is just as cheerful as the month of december. wait, why do they remind me of kwon eunbi? beyond that, they seemed warm & charming upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of overbearing & stubborn though. i hope they get acquainted here in complex #4 / apartment #1217 / floor #4; she seems to have a lot going on with her job as a pastry chef & bakery shop owner

hi lovebugs! bunny here with another muse. this is my little ball of sunshine, sam! prob one of my favorite muses. she’s adorable and very lovable. just really wants to make frens with everyone and does that by randomly leaving boxes of cookies and cupcakes at their doorstep. she’s no stranger to seoul, but has recently made the city her home and set up a shop there that hopefully lots of tenant visit! smash that like if you want plots or slide into my ims or hmu on d!scord if you’d like. <3

name: samantha song birth date: december 17, 1994 place of birth: santa cruz, california romantic orientation: homoromantic sexual orientation: lesbian relationship status: single pronouns: she/her gender: cis-woman family: mother, father, two older brothers ( 7 and 4 years older ) pets: one 2 year old yorkie named pie piercings: 10, five in each ear tattoos: none.

parents are 2nd gen korean american’s. she was born in cali but traveled back and forth between south korea and america a lot since her dad owns some tech companies in both, which is now run by sam’s father and her brothers. her family is kinda loaded...on both sides.

attended private school in california since her parents wanted her to have the best education. she was cared for by nannies often whenever she wasn’t traveling with her family and that’s where she discovered her passion for baking. there was one nanny in particular that she really loved a lot and stayed with their family until sam was eighteen. the two would cook together a lot and that only helped same perfect her skills even more.

after she graduated high school sam enrolled in baking/pastry arts school in france. after she graduated she moved back home in california for a while and worked in a few high end restaurants before ultimately deciding to make the move to seoul, where her brothers are located running her father’s businesses. with the help of her family she was able to eventually open her own bakery and confections shop (darling little sweets) a year and a half later. she’s been in seoul for four years, but moved into dallyeog just two years ago.

personality wise sam is a literal ball of sunshine. she just loves people so much. probably one of the most kindest people you could ever meet. she comes from a very close, loving, and supportive family. she’s a lesbian and hasn’t really had the opportunity to get into any serious relationships. most of her romantic life consisted of short live flings. especially since she moved back and forth between cali and sk a lot. she’s a stress baker so catch her awake at 2am baking 4 dozen cookies or any entire six layer cake just because she can’t sleep or she’s worrying about things she likely has no control over. most of the time she gives them away or randomly hosts a dinner party to get her friends to eat them lol. pls love her!!!

i’m open to all plots. besties, friends, neighbors, fwb, maybe someone she’s really interested in and they are really into her too but no one will make a move lmao, enemiesssss! f you turn into an enemy of sam’s...then you must’ve done something really forked up, gimmie a bad influence!!! plsssss  

oh Kise?

oh worm??

Why I like them

I’m actually gaining a whole new appreciation for Kise these days; underneath the airy smiley surface he’s a really nuanced character, and every time I rewatch/reread KNB I notice something new about him. I love how his passion for basketball grew when he decided to devote himself to it, and how he’s inspired by Aomine and motivated by losing to Kuroko and Kagami, how he’s desperate to improve and play to the point of overwork and injuring himself, and still keeps going. He’s got a very satisfying arc when he learns to appreciate his team and respect his seniors, and I’ve learned to appreciate and respect him for it too.

Why I don’t

All that said... sometimes he can still be a little grating. He’s a little too superficial sometimes, especially dealing with his fangirls, and he seems to get the anime trope treatment disproportionately often compared to the other GoM. Much as his arc and motivations are well-written, I feel like they could be pushed just that little bit further to make him more compelling, but that’s honestly getting into nitpicks, he’s still a great character for what he ended up being.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

This might not seem like a very important scene, compared to some of his others, but I just fuckin... love the restaurant scene after the first Seirin/Shuutoku game, where he sits at the same table as Kagami, Kuroko and Midorima, and talks about why they play basketball and how losing changes them. (Midorima looking at him and saying he’s changed “your eyes... they’re strange”, before realizing he’s actually gone back to how he was before the Teiko finals is... Important to me) 

Favorite season/movie

Season three Kise can GET it. The ultimate glo up, he’s so awesome in the game against Haizaki’s team, and rematch against Seirin; I love Kasamatsu being like “go give them a greeting” and he just squares tf up it’s so badass. Side-note -- he’s also one of the only characters the Last Game treated well, after being considered “the worst of the bunch” he totally earned his moment to be the best, most powerful member of the GoM for a little while.

Favorite line

That moment in the Seirin/Kaijo game when he gets off the bench despite his coach’s disagreements and goes back into the game, because “I love this team”. I cry every time. “I liked being Kise of Kaijo” is a close runner-up.

Favorite outfit

Okay all his model outfits slap, but hear me out... season one when he shows up at Seirin and goes one-on-one with Kagami, still in his suit pants and shirt and he still kicks ass... iconic.

OTP

Um... so KiKasa or KiKuro seem like obvious choices, and they do have some great development... but I’m actually weaker to KagaKise I think. I don’t know why there’s something about their dynamic, they’re just such friendly rivals (by season 3 at least) and seem to bring out some really good things in each other (and I love the concept of Kagami being able to get Kise to loosen up and be more human, see Two if by Sea by tormalyne) their relationship is just so interesting to me. KiKuro is also up there but I think KagaKise beats them out by a hair.

Brotp

MidoKise. I have seen the light. I could also see them work as a romantic pairing, but the way they play off each other and banter is the Actual Best no matter the context I love these guys.

Head Canon

Kise strikes me as like, the worst enabler in existence. I feel like he shrugs off serious topics and plays things off as no big deal all the time, and he just does whatever he can to minimize discomfort and drama, if it means avoiding difficult conversations, or placating people with material things to get them off his case. He lets a lot of things slide and turns a blind eye when there might actually be something wrong, and it’s not very healthy how he constantly dodges people’s efforts to help him.

Unpopular opinion

Not really an unpopular opinion as much as a lack of understanding, but I just don’t... get AoKise. I mean I get it, but I don’t Get it, you know? Like they’re alright, they’ve got history and some chemistry and you all know I ship Aomine w literally everyone, but I just... still can’t get myself to see it as anything more than a casual fwb deal, or at best an unrequited love. I don’t see the compelling star-crossed romance other people seem to see, I don’t know why. (If anyone wants to try to convert me, I’m all ears, I’m mostly just perplexed by the popularity of this ship). 

A wish

I sincerely wish Fujimaki had the balls to make Kise gay. Not as a device to set him up with people so my ships can be canon, far from it, I just think he’d be a much more compelling character if he was, and out of everyone in KNB (except maybe Mibuchi) he’s the one with the most pieces laid out. It’s right there, and it would add so much depth; having to put on a hetero performance for the sake of his modeling career, trying to differentiate between genuine admiration and attraction, worrying about not being accepted by the friends he’s been able to make if he were to come out... it’s just a shame we weren’t given that bc Fujimaki insists on having everyone but the caricatures be straight. 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

I think the worst thing that could happen to Kise is for him to get bored with basketball. Because that will mean there probably isn’t anything he can get into that he won’t tire of eventually, and it leaves the rest of his future looking pretty bleak. I don’t know how likely it is to happen, but at his rate of improvement he very well might face an Aomine-esque spiral one day, and that is... a troubling thought. 

5 words to best describe them

Bright. Flashy. Idyllic. Pursuant. Ravenous.  

My nickname for them

Golden Boy. I also tend to call him a labrador retriever in my head, which, if you know the parallels I draw between him and Mr Peanutbutter...

I know this may be a lot, but I need an outside perspective. I have a friend who I was really close with, I trusted him more than anyone else, and we talked about everything. He knew more about me than anyone. We were best friends for a year and eventually we started an open fwb relationship. Things were great for a while, but then he got upset with me for hanging out with other guys, even though that was within the bounds we had laid out and discussed pretty extensively because we had a really good setup for open communication. He brought it up once near the end of last semester but told me not to stop seeing other people because he didn't want to say he wanted to be exclusive and then change his mind on me and have caused me to cut other guys off. I listened to him but cooled it on talking to other guys because I didn't want to hurt him. We went home for the summer (but he lives in the town where our university is so really he stayed there) and we talked every day like we have since we became friends and we facetimed every night just like we had over winter break (before the fwb situation). I wasn't really talking to other guys until I went on a date with a guy I met on tinder and felt too scared to say no to when he asked me to hang out with him so I got coffee with the guy. Apparently, me talking to other guys bothered him more than he had told me, and instead of talking to me about it, he went and started exclusively dating a girl he had known for a week. He waited a week and a half after they decided this to tell me and, when he did, he admitted that part of him did it to hurt me. I don't want to lose him because I've never trusted someone as much as I used to trust him, but it hurts to know that any part of him was willing to hurt me to any degree especially for someone he barely knows and admits that he's not even sure he really wants to date. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust him the same way again. We go to a small university so I won't be able to avoid him, but still being friends is proving difficult. I have a process for forgiveness, and I'm usually pretty good at moving on, but I've never had to do those things with the expectation that I will still be close with the person after. I don't forgive him yet, but I am trying to work on it because I know we can't be friends still if I don't. I've seen him once since he told me because he only told me two days before he was scheduled to fly out to visit me and at that point, I couldn't ask him to cancel his flights. In the two days before he arrived I was so anxious I barely ate and I was so angry I thought about just trying to make him miserable the whole time he was visiting. We ended up talking about it because he kept pushing me because he knew I was upset and he didn't want to be miserable the whole time he was visiting. Things were a bit better after that. It was really weird to be around him and we don't know how to interact because both of us are normally super affectionate with our friends, but we're afraid of crossing lines since we used to be fwb and other people (namely the girl he's dating) might read into it. We just don't know where the lines are/should be in a situation like this. We've had a few conversations about everything so I know that he really regrets what he did and that this situation is painful and difficult and confusing for him too, but that is only making it harder for me to figure this all out. It hurts to be around him because I miss how comfortable and safe it used to feel and how much I trusted him. We talk less now since he's back home and I have the paranoia of 'maybe he actually hates me' that I used to never have with him but have always had with other friends. I just don't know if it's worth the emotional labor it requires if I'm just working towards a worse relationship than we had before. I don't want to talk to my other friends about the details of this because, like I said, it's a small school so stuff gets around. I also don't want them to treat him differently because I know that would hurt him. Any advice on

how to navigate all this? Am I doing the right thing in staying friends with him?

oh gosh, i just want to give you a big hug :( this sounds really challenging mentally and i'm so sorry that you don't feel comfortable with talking about this with your uni friends. you can always come to me <3

to actually give my perspective on this, i've never been in a fwb situation so i'm not sure how helpful my advice will be but i'll try my best! i'm not gonna lie, there are a lot of things in here that popped out to me as major red flags: him not wanting you to talk to other guys even though that was allowed, you feeling like you needed to cut off other guys, him not being able to communicate his hurt/anger/betrayal (?), etc., him dating a girl (partially to hurt you) and then not telling you. all of these are things that display his immaturity in your fwb situation. he messed up pretty bad and there's no denying that. you are totally valid in your feelings of confusion about whether or not you want to continue your friendship with him because he hurt you and he was unfair to you.

to offer another perspective on this whole situation, i think that not a lot of people will admit to their mistakes. not a lot of people will admit that part of them did something to hurt you. and yes, he did do some very bad things, but like you said, he feels sorry for what he did and i think that he's going to learn and mature from his faults.

i'm all for second chances in relationships (platonic, romantic, platonic & romantic, etc.) but the final say is ultimately up to you because i think that deep down, you already know whether or not you want him in your life. currently, i think that there are two ways that you could navigate this. there are definitely more choices but these are the two that i think are best.

1. you have 1 conversation with him where you lay everything out on the table. you both give each other a chance to say your side of the story, your true feelings, your mistakes (there may be some things that you did that were hurtful to him that you hadn't noticed or that he didn't communicate) and you both put your thoughts together on how to move forward. what do you both need from each other to get to how you were before? i know that you mentioned that you've had a few conversations with him before but do you feel like you held back a bit? are there things that were left unsaid? if there are, then it's likely that he feels the same way. i would suggest talking out this whole thing with him one last time if this is the case.

2. if continuing your friendship with him is causing you stress to the point of not sleeping or eating, i would say to distance yourself. if you need a temporary break from each other to reflect on what you did and/or recover from what was done to you, then do it. there's no rush in being friends again. there's this quote that i saw awhile and it said: "A break from someone will either make you realize how much you truly miss/love them or how much peace you have without them."

people make mistakes all the time and sometimes you ask yourself what you or the other person was thinking before doing it and the truth is, they probably weren't and they definitely weren't thinking about the potential consequences; but there's this tweet that i saw and it said "y'all be beating yourself up about the mistakes you've made in the past as if you been here twice or something. this is your first time living this life. give yourself some grace as you've learned to navigate through it. you don't know what you don't know til you know better." (IamKiraJ via twitter) i think the same thing goes towards other people's mistakes. they don't know what they don't know until they know better. you can call me too forgiving, but i think he knows better now. he has been good friend to you for a long time and i'm sure he's done a lot of good in your life. it's just up to you to decide whether or not the bad that he did was a deal breaker.

nobody asked for this at all, the dummies have just become my comfort zone and i love them so a fool filled out a whole meme for them for the fun of it. dietrich belongs to @darlingicarus​!

— SHIP QUESTIONS

PRE-RELATIONSHIP —

how did they first meet?

dietrich saved both maeve’s and carden’s lives while he was making a run in the city. saving carden was pure coincidence that came from killing a few of the dead that had been blocking his own path, but maeve was intended as he kept her from meeting a terrible end when one of the dead got hold of her skirt while she tried to run past. as everyone is prone to in those early days—dietrich was fine with protecting maeve and even bringing her back to whatever group there was at the time, but didn’t mind one bit if carden got bit somewhere along the way.

what was their first impression of each other?

maeve thought he was a bit too Blunt about everything that was going on and wished he would stop looking so damned serious all the time, it made her nervous about danger being around every corner and she was already scared enough. she also thought he was a bit handsome underneath that scowl

dietrich had a bit of a hard time seeing her past carden’s [annoyingly] large presence but thought she wasn’t taking things seriously enough, too many witty one-liners and worries about dirtying her hands and clothes. probably worried about the brightness of her clothes attracting too much attention too tbh

did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

family, that’s a good one. ohhhh, i’m sure a few of their friends wanted them to sort things out and just admit to themselves whatever was going on between them, because oh boy did they Ignore a Lot of things for quite a while but a good 80% of the group could spot how close they had grown through all of the things they endured together.

who felt romantic feelings first?

we already know that it was maeve!! we know this, how silly it is to even type it out!!! we know that she woke up one morning after an evening of fwb activities, spent a minute gazing at him while he remained asleep beside her and there was a frightening Oh No realization when she found herself reaching out to touch his cheek without thinking.

did either of them try to resist their feelings?

both of them! big time!! they were fucking terrified. on top of their own already established issues with Feelings, there are the obvious shared fears that come from the world they’re living in. it’s difficult to accept that you’re becoming attached to someone when you know that you could lose them at any moment with so much violence and darkness surrounding you at every turn, especially when you’ve already lost others along the way. (dietrich definitely held out his resistance for longer, though that's a given.)

if you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

would depend on the timing, i suppose. early days they’d probably both scoff at the thought, but later on maeve could be convinced. there’s that whole “soulmates can be made” belief and yes it may be cheesy, but maeve’s a romantic at heart and she’d like to think it’s true enough. soulmates are people who understand each other deeply, are connected at the mind, and know without doubt that the other will always be there at their side—consider maeve Convinced.

GENERAL —

who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

maeve did! technically twice if you count a difference between the beginning of their fwb agreement and then the relationship proper faaaar down the line. i believe the first hook-up came about from maeve making a Very convincing argument for them to find some pleasure and relief from their steadily growing stress while they were away from the group, given that they had become somewhat of a default duo for supply runs and spent so much quality~ alone time together. considering that you could hardcut to five minutes later and find maeve on her knees unbuckling dietrich’s belt, i’d say the proposition went pretty well 😌 the relationship itself came along quite some time down the line, when maeve accidentally slipped up mid-makeout and let the love she has for dietrich Shine through her eyes while looking at him. naturally his instinct was to book it out of there because Feelings Hard, but maeve decided to risk baring her fuckin' heart ((after some months of Pining and a particularly Traumatic series of events that led to them clinging tighter to each other than before)) by asking him simply to "stay" before he could get out the door. arguably that moment was scarier than most of the times they've gone out into the world beyond the safety of their group, but ultimately worth the leap of faith!! because he stayed, and though it was never explicitly stated, they both understood that that night spent together was them putting an end to the fight against the feelings they both knew were there and finally taking the next step in their relationship.

did they have an official first date? if so, what was it like?

they did, but it was purely because maeve labeled it as such and no other reason. a few weeks after their relationship was Confirmed, maeve up and decided that their run into the city would be their first proper Date because they hadn't had some actual alone time in a good while, and it sounded like harmless fun which they didn't get enough of. nothing really Changed from their routine of clearing and scavenging, she just changed up their usual dialogue to asking the "typical date questions. oh, you know! what's your favorite movie? your weirdest fear? the dumbest thing you spent far too much money on?" just a silly excuse to get to know some of the little, random things about each other that popped into their heads or that they'd been curious about for a while.

what was their first kiss like?

tentative and oddly gentle, maeve went for a slow approach in every aspect while testing the waters to see if her last few minutes of attempting to Seduce the bastard into a fwb arrangement had panned out. it was almost Immediately followed up by another kiss and some touching that bordered more along the lines of desperate and eager as they wanted to get to the fun bits, but it was still one of the first notable moments of maeve taking that first step for them and waiting to see if he’d follow suit.

were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

probably first relationship after the world went to shit, but in general nah they’ve both got some prior experiences.

what’s their height difference? age difference?

dietrich’s 5′10″ and maeve’s 5′0″. he’s in his early-to-mid 30s, she’s probably at the end of her 20s?? somewhere around there. who needs solid numbers anyway

what’s their relationship with each other’s families?

😔✌️ new fam found in the group, who dis??

who takes the lead in social situations?

100% maeve baybee. whether she’s talking circles around somebody to keep them distracted, trying to diffuse a situation or just comforting somebody through a difficult moment, we all been knew that maeve’s better suited for almost every kind of social situation. she’ll let him handle any of the ones that rely on intimidation tho, that’s all leitner right there

who gets jealous easier?

ohhhh, that’s another maeve claim. she has Zero reason to worry because dietrich is oblivious to so many attempts at flirtation from others, but it’s still a gut instinct in her to get a little ticked off seeing some rando trying to make moves on him. that’s Her bastard that she spent untold months charming the defenses away from, take a step back and show some respect.

LOVE —

who said “i love you” first?

everybody knows it was maeve, i hardly need to say it. we know she was the one brave enough to say it first, even if it Did take a scare of losing dietrich to tell him. they both already Knew, in that ways of theirs that they have where things are simply Understood between them without having to be mentioned aloud, but she needed him to hear it from her lips at least once. just in case

what are their primary love languages?

i’d say they’re both pretty big on quality time because of them both being naturally inclined to it and how they drifted into becoming partners for supply runs and other action, they spend so much time together it’d be Wild for it not to be their shared #1. not a single doubt in my mind that acts of service is dietrich’s other big one, while maeve’s kinda 50/50 on words of affirmation and physical touch being her runner-up.

how often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

i’ll out them on main for being cuddlers in bed or just generally when they’re Alone. they’re not very big on PDA as a result of dietrich’s whole “if there’s affection exchanged in public i Will learn how to teleport myself halfway across the planet to escape the embarrassment” deal and maeve respecting that. HOWEVER. it’s still maeve and she sneaks in little things when she can, like hand-holding or winding an arm around his waist while they walk. has been known to sneak in a quick kiss to the cheek if he’s sitting down and she can snatch it while he’s not anticipating it. i think hugs are The Most affection that people would frequently see from them in public ((aside from the soft expressions as they watch each other but those don’t count, don’t @ them about it)). the amount of times people in the group have seen them kiss in public can be counted on Maybe one hand if they’re lucky lmfao they keep that shit locked down

what are their favorite things to do together?

this question deserves to be banned from memes because it immediately erases all creative braincells from your mind. dietrich likes to watch maeve tell stories and she loves to ramble those stories, so that’s a win/win for them. sitting on rooftops to watch the sunrise/sunset together. going out of their way to look through any abandoned antique stores or book shops because they’re both Nerds and willing to put in the work of clearing them out so that they can browse. i imagine their favorite is reading together in some comfortable silence, whether that’s separately or with her curled up into him on a couch so they can read the same book. wait also i think maeve thoroughly enjoys any time they’re on watch together because it gives her the opportunity to freely Tease him (and also Gaze at him while he’s focused on the perimeter but that’s entirely too soft so don’t talk about that)

who’s better at comforting the other?

i don’t think either of them are particularly Better at it than the other?? purely because in the beginning, there’s a balance there between dietrich being reluctant to accept maeve’s comfort when she offers it & her taking a hot minute to understand his attempts at comfort. but then they reach that point where dietrich doesn’t tense up when she pulls him into a hug, and maeve finds the consolation she needs in his quiet assurances. on the surface it’d appear that maeve’s better at comforting dietrich purely because she’s more openly physical with her attempts, but the amount of security and solace that she finds in his words or touch means just as much.

who’s more protective?

dietrich takes it with this one. on top of his already there inclination to protect someone if they manage to get close with him, dietrich’s simply the one with better combat skills. maeve can? kinda?? handle herself, if the danger isn’t too pressing and she can find an opening to take advantage of, and she Does have some very strong protective instincts when it comes to dietrich, but he for sure comes out on top for this one. he has the stronger drive and better skills to back the protectiveness up.

do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

physical for both of them! a lot of their communication lies in the unspoken anyhow, it’s no surprise that most of their affection is expressed physically instead of verbally. dietrich’s preference coming from the fact that he might just actually implode on the spot if maeve showered him in too many compliments and expressions of love through words, and maeve’s from learning to appreciate and bask in the meaning and emotion behind the physical affection that he does engage in. also she’s just,, a slut for any kind of affection to begin with, but it’s definitely a whole Thing with being touched when there’s genuine care and love behind it instead of some other ulterior motive.

what are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

[sweats in Having An Entire Playlist Dedicated To Dummies In This AU]

sunlight by hozier — (video essayist voice) the conclusion: maeve is the sunlight to dietrich’s raincloud, thank you. the vibes for this one are just off the charts, lads. it’s about finding Warmth and Light in this love amidst the horrors of the world and in spite of the initial reluctance to let each other get close.

safe & sound by taylor swift — another one with vibes out of this world, this song is Top Tier for a big part of their dynamic in this verse, which is them finding safety and comfort in each other while the rest of the world goes to shit around them. everything may be going up in flames outside, but they know that they have each other and they’re not Alone in anything they do.

what kind of nicknames do they call each other?

maeve’s the queen of petnames, unfortunately for the easily flustered bastard. her favorites are naturally dear and darling, but she also enjoys an occasional use of lover. has called him baby once or twice just to get the reaction out of him. oh wait she also likes calling him an old man when he’s Like That and doesn’t get her references or grumbles too much.

i mean,, it’s dietrich, he uses Sommers more often than her fuckin’ first name and i don’t think he’s out here using petnames/nicknames on the reg At All, they’re opposite ends of the spectrum with this one. he called her sweetheart once to throw her off and it sent her out of wack for at least the entire rest of the day. so good on him, mission accomplished.

DOMESTIC LIFE —

if they get married, who proposes?

no marriage! dietrich’s not quite keen on it and maeve’s not the type to push him into anything he’s not comfortable with. if anything she might?? bring up the idea of rings if they ever come by some while out and about and they’ve been together for a hot minute, for the sentimental and sappy reason of having little reminders of each other to keep on their persons, but she’s not Insistent about it and is content with what they have.

how many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

no kids! world too scary, no thank you!! they’re also just Not in dietrich’s wheelhouse, which may have been a Problem for them if they weren’t in the midst of an actual fuckin’ apocalypse where nearly every day is a fight for survival and maeve can Clearly see every downside of bringing a baby into that.

do they have any pets?

don’t think so, but maeve’s probably made a whole Deal once or twice about leaving a little food for any dogs or cats they see along their treks because she has a soft heart.

who kills the bugs in the house?

dietrich!! he’s in charge of doing away with those Creatures because maeve will most certainly not be going anywhere near them if she can help it. which is,, pretty funny. you know considering their Big Picture circumstances. zombies? she’s fine with them after a point, only truly terrifying in medium-to-large numbers. a spider or cockroach skittering across the kitchen counter?? Horrifying! leitner do your job and protect your woman from the hellspawn

how do they celebrate holidays?

generally just by,, Acknowledging them?? at the very least. maeve has her entire Thing that is keeping track of the date with a day planner that she has had with her from the very beginning (though it’s been lost once or twice, always found its way back), but she doesn’t demand anything happen on holidays because they’re usually a bit Busy making sure they aren’t Dying to whatever’s threatening them that day. on the occasions where they have the free time, maeve insists they spend quiet time together without having to worry about any of their daily responsibilities and that’s holiday enough. maybe slips in a small tradition if applicable and not too over the top

who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

maeve is a very ;) persuasive woman ;)) it was more difficult and had a less frequent success rate back during the fwb days, but he’s completely fucked after they’ve been #confirmed. stands not a single chance to resist those eyes and the idea of lying in her arms for just a little while longer before they have to start their day.

who’s the better cook?

😔😔 dietrich by far. maeve couldn’t cook for shit before the apocalypse began when she had access to all sorts of appliances, recipes and helpful tutorials, there ain’t no way in hell she stands a chance at beating him Now. she’ll gladly take up other duties, but he’s their chef unless somebody else in the group has made a big dinner for everyone to share.

Hi, nyerus..How are you? If you don't mind me asking, can I ask your thoughts on ships between: shi qingxuan x he xuan ; feng xin x mu qing ; and quan yizhen x yin yu? Do you think based on their personality that romantic relationship can work for either of them?

Sorry if you've answered this question before....

Hello! I’m alright, thank you for asking! I know I’ve been kinda MIA on tumblr lately (hoping that my queue will let ppl know I’m still alive LOL)! Things are busy for me as of late -- but thank you for sending in the asks! I’ll answer this one first <3

So about these ships, simply put: I like them all in a sort of... dysfunctional way? If that makes sense. xD

For HX and SQX, I actually see them as quite dark paring. HX made a definite effort to get SQX out of the situation between him and SWD -- which is indeed important to note -- but ultimately, he still prioritized his revenge over SQX. After everything that happened between them, it's heartbreakingly doomed. Which is what I like about it haha. However, I also do have to spare a thought to HX's fiancé, who he loved dearly and who died a gruesome death as a result of SWD's machinations. SQX might not be directly responsible for that, but... yeah it's a painful thing. ;v; In AU though, I suppose you could make anything work out!~ Sometimes you gotta just embrace delusion and have fun.

FX and MQ I do like as FWB/f*ckbuddies. I think they have a really interesting dynamic in the sense that their world views are completely incompatible. It's why they fight so much, and especially because neither of them really make the effort (or want to) to meet each other in the middle. However, they do still have a sense of loyalty to each other, purely because of their long and shared history. Another reason for their fighting is also likely because that is what's familiar to them. It’s what they know and are comfortable with. I think that's a really fascinating aspect of their relationship as a whole. But I can definitely see them shacking up every now and then as a "no-strings-but-oops-accidentally-strings-but-neither-of-us-will-acknowledge-ever" type of couple lol!!

And as for QYZ and YY.... I originally did kind of ship them, but the more I thought about it, and about YY specifically, the more I felt bad for him. YY has a lot of trauma that is directly tied to QYZ, and also carries around no small amount of guilt. QYZ means well, but he doesn't really understand YY's boundaries, which can be exhausting to deal with. However, the two of them genuinely do care about each other. Even if YY does say he hates QYZ, I think it's pretty apparent that he does not. That his hatred is actually guilt, and regret/resentment for the deeply unfair situation he was put in. Not necessarily to QYZ himself. Still, sometimes it's not easy to separate the two things practically, and QYZ is not blameless. I also think this relationship hits a little too close to home for me as well lol. But similar to SQX and HX, I think they do have romantic potential in an AU where a lot of those stressors are not present.

Regardless, I have read fic for all 3 pairings before and enjoyed them lots! At the end of the day, I've never really been a sidepair shipper. I know all of these are really popular in fandom and I do enjoy seeing them around if they float along my dash or timeline, but I don't really seek out content for them. I definitely support people going wild and having fun with these characters and various parings though! (E.g. a rarepair I'm actually fond of conceptually is QYZ and MQ, just because I think they would work very well off each other personality-wise!)