#my bmi rn is 27 but it was 32 at my highest & 23 at my lowest (as an adult) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lobotomizedlady · 20 days

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God those HAES blogs make me cringe so much. I watched a youtube video about how many prominent names in fat activism have been dropping dead in their 40s, 30s, and even 20s...you'd think that would be a wakeup call.

these people are actively causing harm by telling young women (this is a feminist issue, let's be clear about that) that they have no power over their own bodies and striving to change to become fitter and healthier is self hatred when it's the opposite. you can love yourself AND try to better yourself at the same time, in fact self improvement IS showing love for yourself.

there is nothing more empowering than being as healthy, fit, and strong as possible, and these people actively fight against that by encouraging us to gorge to the point of immobility. imagine if drug addicts behaved like this lol. they act like fat women who try to lose weight are betraying the movement, in this regard it is like a cult. I hate them so much!!

#my weight has fluctuated a ton & with it so have certain health issues.#my bmi rn is 27 but it was 32 at my highest & 23 at my lowest (as an adult)#im trying to get back down but it's hard...food is my comfort unfortunately #i love to exercise but you cant outrun a bad diet #asks

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fahrminbrahmin · 7 years

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ED Questions: nobody asked for this but im bored lmao

1. which eating disorder(s) do you have?

tbh nobody has said a specific name to me drs just say either ‘eating issues’ or ‘eating disorder’ so ednos?

 2. when did you develop your eating disorder?

this is hard to answer bc looking back ive shown signs since ~early teenage years but ive been fully aware of it for about 2-2.5 years

 3. are you currently in recovery?

im in therapy, its bought up every other session but i tend to avoid mentioning it so yes and no

 4. honestly, do you want to recover?

again, yes and no. I often h a t e feeling like this but?? the pros out way the cons at this point

 5. how are you doing today?

unhealthily? great! lol i hit my next gw this week and p much all my cals have been from alcohol lmao healthily? p bad ive only eaten a cruskit and some lettuce & im kinda depressed these past days but hey! idc

 6. 5 safe foods?

lettuce! so much lettuce i can easily go through a head a day. honestly, its the only thing i can eat without feeling any semblance of guilt.

 7. 5 fear foods?

tbqh, its such a long list everything p much. at the height of my fear of food i saw the word protein and freaked the F out so protein

 8. do you count calories?

yeah but im really good at lying to myself about how many calories ive actually eaten lmao

 9. what is your max calorie limit?

i say 550, but anything over 250 makes me feel like utter shit but then again, anything makes me feel shit lol

 10. what is your height?

5′3″ / 161cm

 11. what is your ultimate goal weight?

it was 49.5kg! but i hit that so its 48.7kg atm itll go down again tho

 12. are you trying to lose weight?

absolutely yes

 13. have you ever been called “fat”?

honestly i cant even remember if i have or not

 14. have you ever been called “too thin”?

ive been called ‘small’ but not too thin. the dream tbh

 15. what is your current goal weight?

48.7kgs

 16. what was your highest weight?

when i first started weighing myself regularly, 61kgs

 17. what was your lowest weight?

49.1kgs

 18. do you wish you were back at your lowest weight?

im there rn

 19. does your family know about your eating disorder?

yes, i dont talk to a lot of ppl and p much everyone knows

 20. do your friends know about your eating disorder?

yeah, one of my best friends was actually the first person i told

 21. do you wish you didn’t have an eating disorder?

yes and no, i hate feeling like this toward myself and food. but ive always hated myself so this is an improvement so its a really happy side effect

 22. have any “free foods”?

lettuce!! lettuce lettuce lettuce. and tea

 23. how often do you weigh yourself?

every day when i wake up. id say morning but i have a shit sleep schedule lol

 24. thinspo or bonespo?

neither tbh im more of a i-have-an-ed-more-to-harm-myself-less-to-be-thin kinda gal

 25. biggest problem area on your body?

my chubby chubby cheeks. the great irony is that my ed gave me chipmunk cheeks which hasnt helped any but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 26. favourite part of your body?

tbqh i like my waist. its not tiny but its p good imo

 27. what kind of results do you want to see?

booooooones!!

 28. do you purge?

:/ yeah

 29. do you take laxatives?

yes but i have bowel problems anyway so its the constant struggle of do i take the reccomended amount or do i overdose lmao its always overdose

 30. how often do you purge?

it goes in cycles, some weeks i purge every day, other weeks its could be 1-2 times a week.

 31. do you binge?

by definition, no, but often times ill eat and say to myself its a binge

 32. how long have you fasted for?

im SHIT at fasting, probably like 18-19 hours

 33. who’s your biggest thinspiration?

hands around thighs really get me. also protruding rib cages thats the dream.

 34. favourite eating disorder movie/show/documentary?

none! ive only seen maybe half an ed doc i cant get through one. But! I have a book of stories of girls w/ eds and there was one story about a white/polynesian girl with an ed with identity issues and she was l i t e r a l l y me i still have that book

 35. favourite thinspo picture?

again, any pic of fingers touching around thighs. LUV it

 36. can you post a photo of yourself/your body?

ive only posted 2 body checks lol, u can see them here

 37. how does your eating disorder affect your life?

Im literally obsessed with food nd my body ive isolated myself from everyone/thing in my life and everything i do is a number i h8 it

 38. what is your BMI?

currently, 19.1  39. do you follow a diet?

yeah, as little calories as possible lmao

 40. least favourite part about your eating disorder?

most if not all of it? its all i think about

 41. has your eating disorder ruined any relationships?

yes? if we group my ed with all my other mental health problems, i isolate myself from everyone i havent seen one of my best friends in over a year so YA

 42. do you have a “guilty pleasure” food? what is it?

c h o c o l a t e. it is very much a guilty pleasure lool

 43. meanspo or sweetspo?

not about the whole concept tbqh

 44. does anyone else in your life have an eating disorder?

the saddest part, most women i know have expressed r admitted to doing some really shitty stuff to themselves in order to be thin

 45. ever been inpatient?  / 46. ever been outpatient? / 47. ever been in residential care? / 48. ever been in a psych ward?

nah but ive been threatened with it

 49. are you currently in therapy?

yeah, individual therapy and DBT

 50. what did you eat today?

a cruskit, 1 gummy lolly, ~4 leaves of lettuce and 3 glasses of wine lmao

 51. are you scared about the holidays?

yes bc ill make a pavlova and ofc im gonna eat it rip :/

 52. are your family/friends supportive?

kind of, if im in a healthy mind set i know they care but dont really know how to go about it. but they let me do a lot of shitty things to myself

 53. have any other mental illnesses?

’severe social anxiety’, emotional disregulation, depression, maybe avpd and/or bpd?

 54. looking for ana buddies?

nopenopenope ill never encourage this

 55. what is your current weight?

as of this morning: 49.1kgs

#personal #eating disorder #eating disorder questions #ed tw #ana #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#t.txt

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vibrancyy-blog · 6 years

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which eating disorder(s) do you have?

Ana for now, Mia is not my thing 2. when did you develop your eating disorder?

8th grade, then it went away and came back my junior year of highschool  3. are you currently in recovery?

Lol 4. honestly, do you want to recover?

I’m not sure. I’ve recovered before, but I forgot what it feels like 5. how are you doing today?

Tired. My boyfriend is being a dick too.  6. 5 safe foods?

Celery, rice cakes, eggs, freeze-dried fruit, pickles 7. 5 fear foods?

Chocolate, pizza, cheese, fries, junk snacks 8. do you count calories?

Yes. On my fitness pal 9. what is your max calorie limit?

800 if I need it, but I try for 500 or less because I am a student athlete 10. what is your height?

5’4 11. what is your ultimate goal weight?

90/95 lbs 12. are you trying to lose weight?

Yes 13. have you ever been called “fat”?

To many times to count, by too many people I thought loved me  14. have you ever been called “too thin”?

Yep. My mother worries because I swim and you can see some bones a little to well 15. what is your current goal weight?

Honestly I just wanna get under 110 rn 16. what was your highest weight?

127 lbs 17. what was your lowest weight?

76lbs (8th grade) 18. do you wish you were back at your lowest weight?

I almost died so no? But I still hate my body and want to be thinner, but not dead thin 19. does your family know about your eating disorder?

No but they notice how I never eat. They’re not super concerned though 20. do your friends know about your eating disorder?

Yes. 2 of them. One because she found me chugging laxatives after eating at her house, and the other because he had an ed so he knows the signs  21. do you wish you didn’t have an eating disorder?

Yeah. I miss feeling normal and not worried about how I am perceived  22. have any “free foods”?

Gum? Also glucomanann tabs 23. how often do you weigh yourself?

Once a week 24. thinspo or bonespo?

Both 25. biggest problem area on your body?

I’m a runner and swimmer, so I have thunderous thighs  26. favourite part of your body?

Collar bones 27. what kind of results do you want to see?

Skinny skinny skinny. My goal is to be thin for my trip to Hawaii in June and feel good in a bikini  28. do you purge?

Sometimes with laxatives but only on really, really bad days  29. do you take laxatives?

Yeah. I know it doesn’t help reduce calorie intake but it makes me feel cleaned out and ready to restart my system/ intake 30. how often do you purge?

Not often  31. do you binge?

I try not to. Sometimes I do it without thinking and it’s like a blur. I hate it.  32. how long have you fasted for?

48 hrs 33. who’s your biggest thinspiration?

Emma Roberts  34. favourite eating disorder movie/show/documentary?

To the bone. Lily Collins is dazzling✨ 35. favourite thinspo picture?

Anything with Calvin Klein’s  36. can you post a photo of yourself/your body?

Neeeerrrrp.  37. how does your eating disorder affect your life?

Every day I am obsessed with food, it’s always on my mind, I always crave it, but the feeling I get when it goes in my mouth is worse than the feeling of an empty stomach.  38. what is your BMI?

Normal 39. do you follow a diet?

Low carbs, higher fat higher protien 40. least favourite part about your eating disorder?

Missing the way I used to feel good after eating instead of that my world was falling apart 41. has your eating disorder ruined any relationships?

Some. I fight with my boyfriend a lot. I’m starting to resent how clingy he is, how he makes me feel about my body, and how he needs to be close or touching me all the time. I just want a pal to go on adventures with and make out sometimes ya know?  42. do you have a “guilty pleasure” food? what is it?

Pretzels. Or peanuts  43. meanspo or sweetspo?

Both 44. does anyone else in your life have an eating disorder?

My best friend has celiac, and when he first found out he went into a deep depression and lost like 25 lbs. he said that he didn’t know what to do so he just stopped doing, and that’s when he could tell that I was having similar issues  45. ever been inpatient?

8th grade into freshman year summer. Didn’t get to do anything until my osteoporosis went away.  46. ever been outpatient?

No 47. ever been in residential care?

No 48. ever been in a psych ward?

No 49. are you currently in therapy?

No, my parents think I’m recovered 50. what did you eat today?

Oatmeal, fruit, crackers, peanuts 51. are you scared about the holidays?

All the time. What I hate is that I eat, and then it takes so long for my body to be able to restrict again and stay fairly regulated  52. are your family/friends supportive?

Friends... some are. Other a fucking fake ass bitches who make it worse. But family is good mostly too.  53. have any other mental illnesses?

No 54. looking for ana buddies?

Sure! But not like the last group chat I was in, it blew up my phone and caused it to lag a bunch, and they kicked me out still unknown why 55. what is your current weight?

My new scale comes in the mail on Tuesday :) old one broke, probably cause I’m to fat😂

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