pain is the only thing i can feel

also, angst is basically the only thing i can write. and crack. but no fluff or anything. kust these two things. so you‘ll have to suffer 😇 when i share brainrots 😇 of genshin men 😇 probably and definitely most times angst 😇😇😇

arranged marriag au‘s just hit different. want another one? but this time… this time kazuha.

and not you. nu huh, no it‘s tomo, the dead friend 👀let me know if you want to hear abt it 💕

bubbles anons promising another round of pain

the way i felt that on a spiritual level

bdnndkdn nO BC??? i swear everything i write eventually becomes angsty one way or another (or at least has underlying tomes of angst ;w;), so sometimes in my writings i have to cut it off before that point to prevent it but sometimes… sometimes its just too late…

i have also long since accepted the fact im a masochist for emotional pain from fictional ppl 🐥

NOT TOMO PLS 😭😭 but do tell—

introduce your mutuals in a sentence <3

ok SO they’re not really introductions they’re more just me rambling about how much i adore them <3

@delehosies gracie, my actually soulmate me thinks! makes my world a thousand times prettier even though she’s annoyingly good at imessage games, I LOVE U ANYWAYS

@sunkeiji sayu, my 4lifer! she’s such a beautiful person gosh i just want to give her endless hugs and watch her become a hot doctor bc she deserves everything <3

@tetsuphobia hannah, if the beauty of pluto projector was made into human form you’d be left with her <3 i’d be lost without her and her writing

@yutari sav, i’ve said it once and i’ve said it twice! i’m a brunette gemini with a name beginning with i PLS KISS ME SAV - seriously though such a gorgeous person inside & out

@veenxys aelin, THE ABSOLUTE SWEETEST <3 we only interact briefly but the smallest things warm my heart so much!! a lovely person and such a talented writer

@melin-oe jasmin, my bestie bc the law says so!! we were shipped once and i think it was the best decision ever made she’s the sweetest ever MWAH!

@0jiro pat, MY WIFEY! i just want to listen to kali and dance with her <3 she’s actually one of my favourite people ever and if we knew each other irl we would be unstoppable #patelle supremacy

@mysterystarz nova, my luvr!! i keep the lil kiyoomi drawing she made me as a widget on my phone so i see it everyday- she’s a true angel!

@uxavity amora, oh my gosh she’s everything!!! funny n cute n kind i can’t wait for us to finally meet and go to the mall and listen to conan omg </3 AND WE HAVE THE CUTEST SHIP NAME AMORELLE

@01-02-1991 miwa, she’s so hot!!1!1! i love her and i love going into her inbox like 5 minutes before going to sleep so i totally forget to reply in the morning and i end up annoying her again a week later heheee <3

@ohmiyaa lea, the cutest ever!! i’m so grateful she had decided to come into my inbox and become a regular anon she make’s me smile sm <3 and her writing is so cute too :(

@sarose milo, i don’t have the words for how much i adore her- and when she calls me isabelita MY HEARTSVVSJAVS <33 just want to give her lil kisses

@theyluvmegan megan, pretty girl with pretty music! I HAVE A WHOLE PLAYLIST WITH JUST HER RECS <3

@chatsu chelsea, i would fight anyone for her >:( she’s so funny and kind and her themes are also on POINT- i think we should kiss tbh

@solaxena athena, my pretty girl. i could finish the sentence there because it’s the perfect way to describe her, pretty inside and out

@sugamintchocochip maia, gonna steak her and make her MY handsome wife <3 i love interacting with herrrr :( i need to hop into her inbox more

(i hope i didnt miss anyone :( ily all!!)

LEX’S 2020 APPRECIATION POST PT. II !

— to the lovely moots & followers who i talk to quite often (or pretty much everyday), this one’s for you.

thank u for being in my life, you made my 2020 so so much better. i’m so grateful october lex decided to make a tumblr acc 🥲

i’ll try my best to keep it kinda short 🥲👍

in alphabetical order:

@4fterh0urs — my omega phoebe 😩‼️ ily so much bc you’re both extremely stupid n extremely smart at the same time. u mean so much to me and i love talking to u even if u call me such weird as nicknames every damn day 😃 you’re so sexy n hella intimidating smfh idk how i was able to make u my bitch (JK PLS DONT KILL MEE) anyways, thanks for being a real one bae + you’re the person i block the most, so you’re special ig 😹👍 ily you’re actually such a sap but u pretend to be all tough heh <33

@archivednikes — my solar system, my wh*re (lovingly) hi bae 😣 ok yk how much i love u but. im gonna tell u again: ILYSM!! OKAY??? please know that you’re such an amazing human being and you’re SO incredibly talented. god i love u so much please take care of yourself baby, you’re always so kind to other people and i hope you can do the same to yourself. once again, i am so fucking glad you decided to slide into my inbox that day, because now i look forward to talking to you every single morning. insert grabby hands ilysm <33

@boosyboo9206 — onyx hi babes! i’m so so grateful for you omg u dont even know it. you always manage to cheer me up with your antics and you’re always here to support me 🥺 whenever i’m down you somehow aways manage to make me feel a lil better. i love talking to u whether it’s about sth as mundane as the weather or even your obsession with the word peepers. thank you for being you, please take care of yourself and stop sleeping so damn late. ilysm <33

@ch4jime — chloe bae!! 😁 hi omg ilysm you’re so cute and cool and nice urghh thanks for always checking up on me! i love love seeing you in my asks, you’re such a lovely person to be around. i seriously need to be better at dropping in other people’s inbox, so just know that i’ll work on hanging out on your blog more often this year bc ily! i wish u all the best and please never stop being you baby mwah <33

@fairyoomi — hi bae 😣😣 how are u?? i know we don’t talk much anymore, and that’s okie, but i still wanna write u this lil note because i’m so thankful i met you here on tumblr. you’re an amazing writer and u were so sweet to me even when i was a teeny blog who didn’t know anyone. i admire u a lot, yknow? thanks for being such a friendly and welcoming person, ily <33

@gu3to — mochi bestieo 🙀 idk if you’ll even see this smh so i’m just gonna text u after this (if i don’t forget to rip) okay so. hello?! you’re so mf cool and you’re a trendsetter 🤩 yes yes im fueling your god complex it’s bc ily smh. you’re so dumb i wanna choke u sometimes but i won’t bc i’m also just as dumb 😁 pls stop disappearing from the face of the Earth okay ilysm you always keep it real and i know i can always count on u to listen to uh... my shit. okay so when are we gonna make out? 🤨 oki bye <33

@hoekageyama — wifey!! maddie baby urghh yk how much i love you, you’re one of my earliest moots im pretty sure? and aaaaa i’m so so glad i decided to be weird as hell and slide into your asks that day (pancreas. sighs. iconic.) you’re my numero uno whenever i wanna bark about hot 2d boys and what i’d let em do to me coughs err yea hehe. please take care of yourself baby you’re such a sweet and kind and loving person and i’m so glad to have you in my life. smh we text each other lovey dovey texts anyway but i still wanna do this for u 😋 ilysm!!! <33

@honeyskawa — lani baby hi! i know you haven’t been super active lately, but i just wanna tell u that i appreciate u so so much!! you honestly made my goddamn week when u sent me that ask about how i inspired you bc what the heck?? never in my life have i expected to have such an impact on someone. you’re a wonderful writer honestly. i love u so much and i hope everything’s going well baby, i’m excited talk to u more whenever you decide to be active on tumblr again <33

@jougogo — kaybae hi!!! you haven’t been on tumblr much lately but hi sexc it’s me lex lol i’ve moved accs hehe 😎 i hope u see this whenever u get your phone back cries. you’re such an amazing person to be around, always so cheerful and friendly, you exude so much positive vibes and ilysm. you always manage to lift up the mood with your sexc self and i admire u for that. you’re so incredibly chaotic and fun to be around ahrgehxhh i appreciate u sm and i hope you’re taking care of yourself bby ily <33

@kemochie — my waluigi, my favorite f*rry, hi 😝 urghhh god we just started talking everyday pretty recently but god. you’re so funny??? and i love bullying u bc u give me so much material to bully u with (ok jkjk i love u that’s why i bully u smh) also, you’re so incredibly supportive and u were actually the one who pushed me to finally post that atsumu fic, even tho stupid me accidentally deleted it LMAOBSBD anw, u bring sm joy in my life, so thank u for that. we’re a small lil filf and you’re the milf to my dilf LMAO ilysm mwah!! <33

@kenmaki — gabbae! virgo bestie!! hi hi !! you’re such a talented person and you’re an amazing writer, and i hope one day u can get past your insecurities and see yourself as the wonderful person u truly are. i love how we were able to relate to each from how similar virgos think + our initial conversation of dick measurements and such will forever be seared into my memory. and congrats on getting a daily railing on the dash HSBDH i don’t look at em i promise lol 🤩🤩 jdbdhdh ilysm bby <33

@miyams — ren sweet babie hi! you’re so incredibly talented please don’t listen to stupid hate anons. i’ll stab them with a serrated knife if i have to 😠🔪 you’re so flippin cute and sweet i love talking to you, and i love love love whenever u come by my inbox to say hi. i hope we can talk even more in 2021, my dms and asks are always open for u bby (even though i suck at replying right away, sorry abt that huhu) i love u sm baby please take care of yourself <33

@miyasangel — ardie bae 😜 hi sexc!! i still cant believe we talk like everyday now lmaoo i used to think you’re so freaking cool (i still do) and now i’m friends w u whattaheck 🥲 you’re such an amazing writer wtf. i hate that we had to start our friendship on such a sour note (ehem discord ehem) but i’m really glad it brought us closer together. ily cockarden i’ll be sure to bully u even more HAHAGS IM JK makes out w u so hard bc you’re so damn hot ily 😣‼️ <33

@owlywrites — owly baby hello! ily so so much and you’re so talented, you deserve so much recognition. i hope i can read more of your fics soon bc they’re so well written ugh 😣 thanks for always checking up on me and always being so incredibly sweet. i love u so so muchhh huhu i wanna give u the biggest hug in the world :( please take care of yourself and never stop being your genuine self kith kith <33

@rilacry — milfy gorlillola 😜😜‼️ hi sexc. omfg i was so intimidated by u wtf (and i still kinda am smh) bc you’re so cool?? and your writing n carrd making skills are amazing as hell wtf. u just exude BDE bc you’re hella hot AND bc u wanna peg everyone. anyways,, i’m glad we got closer recently, even if it was out of really wack circumstances. ily bae pls stop sticking your memojis everywhere mwah <33

@rintaroll — my kue tete ☹️☹️ ilysm smh bye i can’t believe we’re close now wtf you’ve always been so cool and sexc 😩‼️ oh god i rmb when u were still on your old acc and u seemed so out of reach and i was a lil intimidated ANDBDJD SHHH but yea now ik you’re just a big h word dork and i love u for that 😣 i wish u all the best for your singing career bby you’re such a talented writer AND singer wtf. also you’re so pretty???? wtf how rude 😠 JKJK HAHHSBD ilysm kithes u so hard <33

@tetsoleil — geegee!! hi baby 😣 thanks for being such a sweet human being ily! it’s been a while since we actually talked yeah? but i still want u to know that i love u a lot and i appreciate u so much. i’m so so grateful you’re in my life because you’re such a joy to be around. you’re an amazing writer bby and i hope you get the recognition u deserve. i’m always here for u if u need anything. ilysm bby <33

@velvetfireworks — rachie bae 🤩 my bakso goreng, my golden kiwi!!! ily!! hehe im so glad i decided to slide in your dms when u asked me if i was indo. but ahhhh you’re ao sweet and cute and supportive ilysm. an amaaazing writer and i admire your work so much, but i think you’ve heard me say that multiple times before. i’m so glad we became closer recently through our love for greasy food and wonky lil faces 👁💋👁 kith kith ilysm <33

@yato-o — yato baby hi!! urgh honestly i appreciate u so so much?? i feel so lucky to be able to get to know you. i don’t even remember how we met but ahhh thank u for always stopping by and have a chat with me even though i know you’re a busy person. please take care of yourself and get some rest whenever u need to! don’t feel pressured to come on here if you’re tired baby, im so grateful to have u in my life, i luv youu <33

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU SEXY BAES!

kisses, lex

ris you were the first one that came to mind right before i sleep ily bby hope you're doing great, hope u have a nice day/night ily mwah <3

jas i jus woke up & this is what i see??? u jus made my whole morning ilysm i hope u have the best sleep of ur life & ur pillow stays cold all night long <33

to the coolest person alive,

i think youre gonna see this in the morning or afternoon so good morning!! or afternoon idk ✋🏼 BESTIE IM WATCHING JJK ALREADY 😻 im on ep 14 now,, i started today 🚶🏻‍♀️ idk if im gonna watch it now or tomorrow tho. to keep the diary entry short, my day was very shitty bc of my toxic family 😻😻 but it was fine ig i had some ✨alone time✨ to straight up binge jjk and distract me 😼 lex please can you yell at me to not fall for every 3rd character i see I AM OBSESSED WITH SOME OF THEM ALREADY IT AINT HEALTHY 🏃🏻‍♀️ i lowkey saw that coming but still <3 lemme drink water real quick i sadly didnt drink much due to this whole ass day LMAO WHY DO I SOUND SO DEPRESSED PLSJDKDJ ✋🏼 MAYBE bc i am,, hey god, its me again 😻🚶🏻‍♀️ i hope i can finish it tomorrow or at least on friday, idk if im gonna try to watch banana fish in the holidays too 👁👁 i need to get my heart broken its been a while <3 actually its only been a few days- not the point tho. also, yes i do think people see our convos and shake their heads JSHSKD 🤝🏼 honestly who wouldn't if they saw our whole ass paragraphs every time BUT I AM HERE FOR THEM ❗ pls this whole essay this time is a EXTRA mess. also!! i hope you're gonna drink water and eat something!! 😌 other than that, do you have any plans for the day? // or if youre gonna answer this later, what did you do today bestie? 🤲🏻 the amount of times ive said "bestie i cant do this today" while talking to myself in the last 48h 😻 anyways, i think that was enough for today and for your sexy ass to read ugh 😫✋🏼 sending u hugs and kith rn, u deserve them!!! 😠 mwah, ilyvm <33

love,

🐉 anon <3

to my darling 🐉 anon,

hellurr good evening my love 😻 STOPPP im... still on ep 15 ☝️🥲 i haven’t had the time to pick it back up yet smh </3 but how are u liking it so far tho? oh bubs :( im sorry u had a shitty day, i hope tmr will be better for u babes <3 they suck ass and u deserve better 👿‼️ but hhhh we can talk abt sth else if you want,, who’s your fave so far?? or fave(s) i suppose 😯 ITS OK all of em are so pretty i feel ya!! bestie u better be drinking more water rn, ily kay? and cheers to using humor to cope lmao 🏃🏻‍♀️💨 wait omg i havent watched banana fish yet smh. is it good?? i also wanna watch that other sad one,, your lie in april?? im not sure what it’s called but i wanna binge all the heart wrenching animes on my sem break later 😁 and also jjk bc im so behind dammit 😞💔 well they can just sit back and observe while we pour our hearts out in long ass paragraphs,, it’s okay 😴 mm im doing good today hottie!! i tried doing manga colorings for the first time ever and i love them sm?? i wanna do it properly but i dont wanna have to use photoshop ghhh but look at lil kindaichi in my pfp omg (it looks kinda messy im ngl but u cant see it in the lil pic so we’re good 😋) i don’t have much plans for the weekend,, i’m probably gonna study some more later 😞 hbu tho!! how are u today? do u have anything fun planned for the long weekend? any events going on (if u do celebrate that is)? i hope you’re doing better today sexy 😠 don’t forget to eat lots of good food and drink lots of h2o,, also sidenote, aside from your jjk faves, who’s your fave in hq? :0 (also p.s. i have to actually sit down and formulate an essay back to u whenever we talk so im sorry for taking so long to reply help 😭😭) ily more angel you’re the coolest and the sexiest person in the universe 🤞🏼😫 lots of xo’s for u bebe mwah!! <33

from your beloved tumblr user,

lexus 😽

I did have fun on the farm, except my little 5 year old cousin was making my life so difficult for those 4 days istg. Like she was always on my case, and when I had to babysit her she would not go to sleep and she CONSTANTLY tried to steal Ethan's attention away from me🤧 ugh all the players start young. Not to mention she also stole Ethan's drink and like.. downed it (there was only like a quarter of the drink left so eh) but yea it was really fun other than that. And yes I actually did get to tan after we planted the crops🤡 but yes I just drank some water and I'm eating rn!! Also I'm glad you enjoyed your weekend/🌚

KEHDJW pls 😹😹 i wouldn’t have had the patience to deal w her if i was in your shoes </3 im glad u had fun tho!! hrghg i didnt do anything productive tho,, and im lowkey getting sleepy so i might take a nap 😞 even though i haven’t done any of my work 🥲🙏🏼 also good morning when u see this!!! ily mwah drink some water right after u wake up <33