Broken System

I love it when the System breaks and gets shut down permanently, but what if it left its marks on its main user? Shang Qinghua won't be able to get out of explaining this even if he really, really wanted to.

"Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you! Quite a pleasure! I'm about to end your FUCKING life!"

A quick clarification, because I just realized some of my words were accidentally left open, and I want absolutely none of what I say to be used to shame or attack others.

While I may regard it as my job to speak out against bad behavior in the community and ensure my fanbase is safe, I by no means am saying that other creators (or fans!) should push themselves past their limits to do the same. I know full well that several creators on here have poor mental health, and have limits that are far different from my own. Likewise, if I notice myself getting overwhelmed, I will be taking a step back to recover so that I can continue healthily at a later time.

Please, everyone, operate within your own personal limits, not the standards you see others setting for themselves. Pace yourselves, self-care, and do what you can when you can - the rest of the time, take it easy and recover.

Stay safe, and we love you <3

I swear if anyone wants to hear me rant about the angy fire man and just how much he's grown and developed as a character then... [-drops a dictionary size book onto the table-] I'm ready. Enji will never stop being one of my favorite characters.

Sentient Fat good…

Also, sometimes I just wonder why Sanji smokes, and I feel like because it can reduce his appetite, thus hardly becoming hungry... He still eats well. He definitely never wastes his food. But it is a sad thought though.

𝒜𝔩𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔯 ; Background stuff

Anyways, that human Alastor post made me wanna throw down some thoughts about Alastor's "background" cause racist zoomer antis in the fandom are wild. I've never gone too hard or deep into Al's history and stuff like that, or rather I've never spoke about it in detail because I didn't want to get attached to my own concepts if canon came along and contradicted anything but none the less I've had plenty of thoughts about Al and I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I AM that he really does seem to be almost everything I imagined so far, but its still early days as far as actual canon goes so we have a lot to cover and theres a lot we haven't seen yet and honestly might never and there is nothing wrong with that. But, like, ultimately, its really insane to me that people out here will claim that if Alastor's history doesn't paint like some "empowering" django unchained esque picture of in your face racism and oppression that he's not a "real black man" or that anything about him is "racist" or "inaccurate" and w/e because like ... Heres the thing, history isn't as black and white as that ( no pun intended ! ) and while Alastor's time period was good for some epic racism and he undoubtably would have had to navigate it throughout his life regardless to anything, Alastor also lived in New Orleans, Louisiana. Which is pretty fucking important to get an ( accurate ) idea of what Alastor's life as a mixed person would have looked like.

Louisiana had a pretty big population of free blacks. Socially and  economically this was a "good" place for black people going as far back as around the 1760s, maybe even earlier. Black people lived and prospered there, often enjoying similar freedoms as white folks way before that was even getting thought about in other places. This was especially true for black women. At a point, it was recorded that a quarter of the houses along the main streets of New Orleans were owned by free black people and MOST of those were SINGLE BLACK WOMEN. Which is really something to note, especially for this time, this being in the 18th century so this is much earlier than Alastor's time period.

But bringing  us  to  Alastor's  time  of  being  alive,  which  would  be  around  the  1900s  to  his  death  in  1933,  yeah,  its  highly,  highly  likely  Alastor's  ancestry  has  a  lot  of  free  blacks,  its  likely  Alastor's  mother  was  a  land  owner  or  of  higher  class  which  meant  yes,  despite  being  a  person  of  colour,  Alastor  likely  had  plenty  of  privileges  and  not  just  because  of  being  "white  passing",  but  because  this  was  relatively  normal  for  black  people  in  this  area.

And  thats  pretty  much  how  I've  seen  it  for  Alastor.  He's  well  aware  of  racism,  he's  experienced  period  typical  racism  toward  himself  and  toward  his  family  as  that's  unavoidable,  but  he's  never  had  a  real  concept  of  being  "lesser"  to  whites,  he's  never  seen  himself  as  such,  there's  no  point  of  reference  in  his  family  for  him  to  look  to  and  see  this  up  close  aside  from,  again,  the  attitudes  of  whites  around  him,  if  that  makes  sense.  In my HC Alastor's father was white but he wasn't in the picture, he doesn't really know him but it honestly doesn't matter because Alastor's mother owned their home and, in my hc, ran her own small hair salon as a business. She tended to have bad relationships with men but all in all she was a strong woman and Alastor's immense respect of women very much started with her. ( And Alastor's dislike of men started with his mother's lame ass boyfriends. ) So Alastor's articulate, educated and high-class demeanor comes from here. Yes he "acts" and "talks" "white" in a sense, but this isn't to intentionally emulate whiteness as such, it was just the "standard" of the "upper class" at the time which is what Alastor's actually emulating and what was widely considered desired regardless of race as this was what made someone come across as powerful and affluent at this time.

Alastor's main concern throughout his life is appearing powerful, though not necessarily to follow the status quo, which he's actually always enjoyed subverting. But a lot of his outward presentation has to do with this, from his mode of dress to his constant smiling. This could be considered another hallmark of his time period but also, yeah, sure, that aside Al does have "issues" and you could probably say they DO stem from a place of paranoia and aversion toward being looked down upon in life, which again is also likely due to the unavoidable racism of his time and the consequences of racism still being much greater here in spite of his freedoms.

I also think I made an older post mentioning this and it was something I wanted to babble about after I watched the eps and decided not to because I got side tracked squealing about things on discord but Alastor saying to Vaggie his face was meant for radio was something I really loved because while it might have been JUST a gag, I read into it as someone whose been headcanoning this kinda shit since day one, and again I'm pretty sure I mentioned it in an older post, but him saying that felt like a nod to the fact that it was very common for people like Alastor ( poc ) to do VERY WELL on radio due to the fact no one could actually see them to get any impression they weren't white and thus discriminate against them based on this. This, I hc, is true for Alastor and a big reason why Alastor did so well as a radio host in his time. Basically in my HC Al picked up his radio job kind of by accident but unlike Alastor's other projects, it really took off and he embraced it fully. By the late 1920s he was a big name on the air and honestly he was doing really well for himself and probably would have lived a long and prosperous life if he didn't pick up the habit of murdering people. But yeah this idea he isn't black enough and that he doesn't look / act / talk etc "black enough" and that this is somehow racist etc is actually whats racist and kinda mad ignorant too so yeah thats my thoughts on that ! Like I don't know what, if any of Alastor's background is gonna get shown, but so far everything about Alastor seems correct to the time period and none of it regardless to what way it goes is "racist" or "not black enough" especially for Alastor's era, location and profession.

i'm back, i got you all cookies for being so awesome and kind <3

Anyway, when will the monsters fuck this monster?

//Man F.on.t.ai.ne really was/is perfect region for Sa's hometown but also sweet fucking JESUS there sure was 0 canon expansion on the the rife canonical corruption. pinches brow

“Why do you wanna eat jellyfish I thought you loved them”

Yes I DO love them but also have you ever considered that they are just genuinely tasty and also also also consuming them is probably better for the environment considering most species are either invasive, proliferating to the point of messing up the ecosystem, or both so like don’t judge my life choices I still love jellyfish I’ll just eat em too

✧ ─ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐒 ─ ✧ ℍ𝔸ℝ𝕌𝕂𝕆 ℕ𝔸𝕂𝔸𝕊𝕆ℕ𝔼 ... 【 ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴄʀʏ ᴏꜰ ᴅᴀᴡɴ 】 - ʟᴇᴀɢᴜᴇ ᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ

── "𝐒𝐋𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒."

I know its been a while since I've done one of these but bear with me; I've been thinking quite heavily upon the fact that I use a lot of religious references within my writing with Haru, particularly in his league verse with @bells-of-black-sunday's Tarhos - and I don't think I've ever went into detail about how literal it is. When its said that Haru worships the ground Tarhos walks on and sees him as a God ...

It's 100% literal;

Haruko legitimately views Tarhos as a fallen ancient God who has given him the power and influence to save his country, his people, and drive out an invasive pest that threatens to destroy everything he holds dear. This is largely due to the timing in which they met; they did not meet on the first day of the Noxian invasion - Tarhos was on the Northern coast of Bahrl and Haruko was on the Southern coast when the invasion began. Before the war began Haru lived in relative peace with his family and his community, a 300 year old Vastaya who did not drive a lot of conflict and was happy with his little life. Within the first few weeks of the invasion Haruko lost all of that, his community was gassed, his family was killed, and he could not defend any of it - the best he could do was heed his mother's warnings and flee to the North. He stewed in his mind for weeks on end that were filled with nothing but misery, carnage, and the desecration of life - and not a single GOD answered his prayers.

He prayed to the Spirit, to the Gods of Targon he'd heard whispers of, to the Sun, the Moon, and not once did he receive any sort of solace from the laceration of his homeland. Not only that but the farther North he went the more whispers of how Karma, the Kinkou, and many others were opting for peace - which destroyed Haru's faith in his own fellow man too. The leaders and spiritual guides of Ionia were cozy up on the mainland, they couldn't even begin to imagine the horrors taking place on the island and how the Epool River had become like Styx with how many corpses were floating in its once sacred waters. Seeing the Wuju temples destroyed is what finally sent him to flee to the Mainland to try and escape the waking HELL that was the active conquest of Bahrl. His grief was insurmountable, his very soul quaking with the very Land's screams of torture as Guardian tree's were burned and its people ransacked, killed, and used like trophies.

Haruko's spirit had cracked violently by the time he met Tarhos, and it was by mere chance that Haru's spear was knocked away on a coastal assault just before he was about to leave; and it was chance that the Noxian fleet's churning motors knocked the Dakrin weapon free. When he saw a blade of sanguine within the pools he wasn't thinking about if it would harm him, he was only thinking about how it would block the next sword thrusting at him. The moment his fingers wrapped around the hilt he was immediately invaded; his mind instantly boiling with a poison stew as he saw inside of the mind of a Darkin. He almost lost himself but through sheer force of will he pushed Tarhos' being down into submission in his mind and suddenly - the Noxians within his path were falling like flies. The blade absorbed the filth and viscera, and once it had gained enough strength; it spoke to him ... and answered him. This bloodthirsty, screaming God locked within a sword was the only thing to have EVER answered him and show him its barest power by allowing Haru to litter the beach with bodies without earning a single scratch.

Gods, for most of history, were not loving and benelovent beings, they were explanations for carnage, horrors of nature, and the unknown - beings that stood upon the pinnacle of existence and stewed within the bowls of the pit of terror inconceivable by the mortal mind. This act in and of itself, to be able to steal the lives away of so many without consequence - Haruko was in awe, nothing else could possibly explain in his mind what had just happened but divinity. Given his life and origins Haru never had any education on Darkin, they didn't concern him and he didn't even know they existed since his village was small and he's never left Ionia. All he knew is that finally something had answered him.

Even so, once this was all over Haru was able to put the weapon down, but the connection remained and the Vastayan was given a choice - Tarhos was impressed enough by his bravery that he didn't dominate Haruko when he was vulerable again after the fight. He could leave Tarhos behind on this ship and doom someone else to become his vessel or ... he could pick the blade back up and drink down the blood within it; to gain power like he felt on the beach, to never have to be alone and scared ever again. The choice was easy to Haru; the war was still raging and he saw well enough into the Darkin's soul as well to know that Tarhos was much more than what he appeared to be, both mentally and the physical shape he took. After weeks of disassociating Haru's second grasp of Tarhos awoke his mind and reconnected every bit of him back together again; his essence and his physical form had never felt so connected. Himself and Tarhos were present in every muscle twitch and pump of blood in his veins, he felt strong for the first time since the invasion began.

Now able to control his fate and with the power of a God in his soul, Haruko finally had security; his faith to Tarhos a stepping stone into a higher plane that will allow him to grasp all of his dreams with the right amount of effort. Even ones that seemed impossible before. The Darkin had already proven his loyalty and honorable nature to Haruko and the Vastayan found it easy to trust him, its difficult to not trust someone after seeing every corner of their mind and sensing their very existence in every waking moment of your life. Tarhos proved that he could answer Haruko's prayers and this is what drives Haru to actively search and find a proper Vessel for conquest. As a showing of his dedication to Tarhos, Haruko is even willing to go so far as to cut down one of the most powerful creatures in Ionia for Tarhos to take over; A Dragon. Not even this act caused a flicker of doubt in his mind; watching that noble creature be cracked to bits was one of the most pleasurable visions he'd ever seen - he'd finally be able to hold his other half and gaze upon his God within a more fitting vessel. It is a symbolic ceremony that relinquishes Haruko's commitment to the peaceful calls of Ionian leadership and places his resolve in something that has given and offered him not only a way to rest his mind and a forever companion, but means to exact revenge on those who have hurt him.

At a shallow looking it does appear to be quite Not Good™ with how Haruko will and does listen to Tarhos for guidance, he holds the Darkin's opinions even above his own at times and does allow himself to be convinced of things he might not have been before. A key example of this is his treatment of Noxians vs Ionians; his countrymen are treated kindly and even in cases of @deathdxnces he takes people under his wing - his personality calms and he lacks the same ferocity. This even extends to @deathfxnds, who, while born Noxian, Haru does not see as one - perhaps thinking that the Darkin God Kayn wields has equally cleansed his soul of his weaker limitations. Haru's incredibly brutal treatment of Noxians is both an influence of Tarhos own carnality as well as the Vastayan's seething hatred towards what was made of his people and home; the Darkin bond between the two of them brews up something truly malicious. Tarhos and Haruko are both now above what normal people are capable of, The Ascended are Gods and Haruko has been chosen to merge with one - thus making him close to one as well; and his hatred of Noxians alongside this new power has turned them into insects in his mind. He's completely dehumanized them, and he's content - even pleased - to be the one able to bathe in their blood.

Haruko has also greatly influenced Tarhos - this isn't a simple case of one taking over the other, its a perfect 50/50 split of corruption; they are one soul split into two bodies. The Darkin's view of mortals has even shifted due to the Vastayan's influence, Haru has never necessarily cared for mortals, but instead tends to view them as stumbling children who need guidance. He didn't have any urges for slaughter before the war and the ones he currently holds are saved for Noxians - and this is shown in how Tarhos specifically targets Noxians for feedings; he'll avoid Ionians. The Darkin is at ease in Ionia because of Haru's own feelings towards his home - neither of them are trying to sway the other in anyway or change them; they exist as a melting pot of two lives, much akin to the Kindred. Somehow even if Haru's physical form was destroyed, he would just end up trapped with Tarhos back in that blade - but at least now they would have eachother to keep company with in the dark.

Xen right now

I'm going to sell this cat istg

[holding a microphone to your lips] who do you have the most muse for at the moment. top five muses. go

EASY. Alkas right now aka the Dark Urge. ( As I am still exploring the story and getting to his own little quests so we can figure out more about his past. ) Percival + Vex ( 'cos the d&d fixation is truly real. ) Karlach ( again, bg3, obsessed right now. ) Kalecgos ( because sweet blue dragon has a place in my heart, and I just got the War of the Ancients - a trilogy to see the blue dragonflight likely perish to Deathwing. )

Mood is the SMooniverse.

Generally open to everyone today.