#mtg jank
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So I’m trying to make a commander deck based on this incredibly silly card:
Unfortunately the way that regeneration works I have to damage it repeatedly for each time to break a regeneration shield. I want to use effects like:
To make large swaths of 0/1s and then boost them with stuff like:
Basically it’s gonna be a pile of tutors and protection and recursion for jank jank and more jank. Does anyone have suggestions for cards to include and also commanders? Morophon seems like a reasonable pick because I will need all 5 colors to get enough jank to work.
Any feedback is welcome!
#mtg#mtg commander#jank#mtg jank#commander#help my deck pls#janky#magic the gathering#magic the gathering commander#spiny starfish#typal#starfish typal#commander deck building
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my most prized magic cards. part of premodern nicfit
#mtg#magic the gathering#premodern#im calling it nicfit so it doesnt seem stupid but#its actually false cure#mega jank
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Wanna Play In The Graveyard? - Premodern: Simic Madness Vs Mono Black Zombies - Paper Gameplay
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Intro, Migration, etc. Read this first!
So apparently I'm back here. I mean, like I had any chance of catching on on Substack, but still. They're not gonna police and deplatform nazis, fine, fuck 'em. I'm back on Tumblr.
What you'l find here are silly decks for Magic: the Gathering. Mostly EDH/Commander, but also some 60-card vintage stuff and other kitchen-table style builds. I post my occasional forays into making custom fan cards and they're here to download for free, so have fun with those.
I'm Jank Crank Hank (he/him; way older than you), and you can find me on Moxfield and BlueSky as @infocorn (and, sigh, yes on also on Twitter or whatever for the time being under the same name) too.
This space, as with my tables, is meant to be safe for everyone. If you're a bigot or an anything-phobe, a fascist or fashy apologist, or genereally just a fucking dick, just keep moving.
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God sometimes you just remember some bad cards that used to help you dominate kitchen table magic and you gotta rant about them.
I remember winning countless games off of Foul-Tongue Shriek of all cards.
I had this small deck mainly built around the Magic Origins Elf package, which tbh was probably what won my most games, but Shriek was often such a nice finisher for when punching through usually wasn't enough.
You could usually amount pretty huge boards, but at the time I had no amount of evasion and I don't think there was any proper elf lords printed around that time either? So some times Shriek was the only way to actually finish the game.
Actually a couple of games might have been one off of some cheeky Might of the Masses plays as well.
Another kinda janky common spell from origins that really overperformed at kitchen table magic.
God I miss proper kitchen table magic sometimes.
#mtg#magic the gathering#kitchen table magic#magic origins#elf deck#mtg memories#jank#janky cards#it would be so fun if some of those uncommon elves were reprinted at common#playing that deck in pauper would be so fun
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Advanced Thoughts: White Heat
I’d not really paid much attention to White Heat in the past; it seemed the least interesting of the four Exodus Theme Decks. I had cycled through the standard newbie green, then red, to land on black as my favourite colour and so when I had the chance to grab one of these decks from a shop which had some older stock I went for Widowmaker. Though Groundbreaker had a very real attraction too – I…
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#1998#Advanced Deck#Advanced Thoughts#Advanced White Heat#Armageddon#Cataclysm#Crusade#Empyrial Armour#Enhanced Thoughts#Exodus#Exodus Standard#Jank#Magic: the Gathering#MTG#Old Frame#Pink Weenie#Precon#Preconstructed#Preconstructed Deck#Premodern#Red White#Review#RW#Sligh#Tempest Block#The New Best#Theme Deck#Tithe#White Heat#White Red
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Actually I lied, you're not just incredible. You're incredible and awesome and cool and amazing and
Fun Fact: The "what's a virgin" bit in RTR was inspired by this tumblr post
#asks#i did it both because it was funny and because it made sense#alice never got a proper education#meanwhile compass is very well-educated#in other news because mtg's card balance is non-existent i've decided to just play rares in my decks#the matchmaking is SUPPOSED to match you against decks of similar power levels#it does not#that or there's just no one on arena who isn't playing rares#often i fight decks that have seemingly no strategy or game plan#they just drop as many rares on the board as they can#i dub this deck archetype “rare spam”#it is a blight on the world worse than phyrexia#anyway i really think the matchmaking is whack because i played a Go-Shintai of Lost Wisdom brawl deck#and got matched against actually good commanders#i was hoping to delve into the depths of bottom-tier jank commanders :(#in other news Dragonwing Glider is good now that i'm actually running it#red is not supposed to have flying but they do it anyway for dragons and phoenixes
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Tried going the Azorius route with my vehicle deck in Arena, and it just isn’t coming together. My brain isn’t big enough to make it work 😩
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I don’t normally do long posts about my interests on here but with the mtg 30th anniversary announcements that happened today I was trying to check them on twitter and saw that they for some reason decided to not put the announcements in a thread but by responding to one post multiple times. This was really confusing to sus out the full timeline chronologically for me and my friends so I watched the actual video on youtube after it was uploaded and made a post organizing it all in order on discord and thought I’d put it here as well. As well as speculate and ramble on things I found of interest, especially on the vorthos side of things. All the stuff in order and thoughts about them under the read more:
2023 - The next set, Wilds of Eldraine, will start the next major story arc which will span the next three years of magic and be split into three smaller one year arcs starting with the “omen paths.”
Jurassic Park cards are coming to collector and set boosters of Lost caverns of Ixalan. At least a thematic crossover, neat.
Khans of Tarkir, the entire original draft set, is coming to Arena! That means fetch lands will be on Arena finally which is wild, plus a lot of nostalgic cards for me since khans block is when I started playing standard instead of just random tabletop jank with friends. The rest of the block won’t be on there but still kind of excited.
2024 - Ravnica Remastered and Ravnica Clue were both unexpected, interesting sounding at least. Dominaria remastered was a really fun set to draft and unlike time spiral it’s actually affordable and still around to be played. Hopefully RR follows suit. Ravnica Clue will also be typing into the first set proper of the year Murders of Karlov Manor, which also means it’s the first time in this post I can rant about Vorthos stuff!
First thing of note, no Teysa in any of the art revealed so far which is concerning, hope she’s not dead! Second, we’ll be seeing a Ravnica set without a guild focus, which after March makes some sense as large chunks of the under city were upheaved to the surface, the golgari guild might be... just straight up dead? And all the other guilds are recovering from what happened. The line up of characters on the above splash are are interesting though as we (going from left to right) seem to have a new character in the form of an Izzet Viashino; Aurelia, leader of the Boros; the totally inconspicuous Massacre Girl; and in center a new character who seems to be a detective using what appears to be Dimir memory magic, I knew the Boros and Azorious had detectives and while it makes sense to see one in Dimir, I believe this is the first time we’ve seen one under Dimir employ, at least based on the magic; next to him is Judith, a high ranking Rakdos performer; and finally the gobbo, the myth, the legend Krenko!
After that is going to be a set of Fallout franchise commander decks themed after the various in universe factions which joins the list of crossovers I was not expecting.
Then the next one I have a fair bit to say about, Outlaws of Thunder Junction.
Old Rutstein from innistrad has apparently crossed some Omen paths in this Wild West inspired set to put up shop. Not the legend I was expecting but I’m a sucker for Innistrad rep! The real big hitters come from the next image though:
In a line-up I never would have expected we have some ambiguous and not so ambiguous silhouettes, going from left to right again we have (heavy speculation) a large tinybones the trinket thief; more speculation, a gorgon who I dearly hope is the return of Vraska and if we’re very blessed, Jace next to her, but nothing about that person’s silhouette screams any character we know of so I’ll keep my hopes in check (but damn do I want them to return rootin and tootin if they aren’t going to be coming back on Ixalan); front and center is Oko, returning in the last set I would’ve expected and even getting the extra splash art over the gang; next to him is a new character with some claw weapons I’ll have the image of below this rant; and finally TINY RAKDOS? No idea what he’s doing outside of Ravnica but that’s unmistakably him.
The new character looks cool, and they said they did cultural consulting to avoid negative or offensive representation in the set so time will tell how well they choose to represent a fantasy version of a very dark time in history.
After that during the summer we’ll get Modern Horizons 3 which will have double faced cards. Nothing too much to say about it other than hopefully they reprint the other fetches and there’s a lady in some of the promotional art with hydra imagery that looks familiar but I can’t quite place. I want to say it’s something relating to progenitus though?
There’s going to be an Assassin’s Creed set of cards that, from how they described it, will be sold in what sounds like reskinned theme boosters for all the different games and times those games cover, which will be a new approach for universes beyond stuff. Also it will be modern legal.
Bloomburrow comes next and I adore the aesthetic! I read a lot of Rewall in my teens, I’ve been reading some of the mouse guard graphic novels when I get a chance to pick one of the books up recently. Woodland animal people is my jam. There’s a squirrel necromancer in some of the promotional art and a confirmed return of raccoons in black border! It will also feature the start of the second year long mini arc of the upcoming larger narrative, “dragon storm.”
And to wrap the year up of paper releases will be a new horror inspired plane, (also my jam) called Duskmorne.
Wrapping things up in general for the year is Pioneer masters on arena, which they’ve said will catch explorer up to all the major cards in pioneer needed to match paper tournament decklists, etc. Also they’ll be working towards bringing fnm and other lgs events into giving bonuses on Arena, such as experience, when you attend them which is something that’s good to see finally.
2025 - Starts with Innistrad remastered, I’m basic, I like Innistrad, I hope this set slaps but as with this and everything to come we don’t have much more info than a loose idea of what it will be themed after and a name/ code name.
First real set is “tennis” which is going to be a multiplaner death race spanning three different planes. Which is honestly not a concept I ever would’ve expected but the part that get my brain whirring is the fact that the three planes it will take place on will be planes we’ve already seen before, two that have had full standard sets but no returns before, and one which has been featured on cards but never given a set before. Speculating on what those could be is wild because the sets without returns could be anything from newer planes like Amonkhet to Capenna, to older planes like Ulgrotha or Mercadia. The third plane though has a lot of fun possibility, they could troll us with finally showing more of Vrynn, it could have Regatha, Shandalar, Segovia, or some other niche random plane. My most out there bet though is based on one of the concept arts for the dragsters having a spirit and skull motif possibly being Ulgrotha based, anything past that, sky’s the limit.
Afterwards is “ultimate frisbee” and we’re finally returning to Tarkir! They stated they’ll be looking to join the best of what people loved about khans and dragons and since dragons of tarkir was a major part of what made me take up the game, I’m excited.
Then is the big summer set for Final Fantasy. They said it will be a tent-pole set like lotr was this year which means a full draft set, it will also be coming to arena, plus presumably commander decks etc., and they’ll be making cards covering all the mainline numbered final fantasy titles. (so no crystal chronicles rep 😔) To be honest I’m really surprised they’re going to try and cover that much in a single set with a couple supplementals. But the thing that was most exciting to me about the announcement was that the arena lead stated that following what they saw with lotr, they expect it to bring in a lot of new players and want to create things on arena that better suit newer players playstyles, since 1v1 competitive is seen to be off putting for a lot newcomers. So they are hoping to implement content either around the time the set comes out or in the year following with some amount of single player content, achievements, and if possible multiplayer modes, which has been asked for for so long at this point and said it wasn’t in the cards, I hope they can deliver on it.
After that starts the final miniarc and beginning of the end of the next major arc with “Volleyball,” a space opera inspired plane, the concept art seems interesting, no idea what to expect overall.
Next is “wrestling” which will be the return to Lorwyn/Shadowmoor. Honestly so glad to hear there will be a return, the vibes and aesthetic of the original block is sublime, I adore it. Going to be interesting to see how they cram so many sets worth of ideas and identities into a single set but they also stated they’ll be taking the kamigawa approach so who knows how much they’ll keep themselves beholden to.
2026 - The two last sets they announced are in vision design, there’s nothing they could show or talk much of outside of basic “here’s the idea.”
First is “Yachting” which will be a return to Strixhaven/ Arcavios, I can only hope with less complexity creep than the first time. And finally “Ziplining” which will be the finale set for the big arc ala War of the Spark or March of the Machine.
Thanks to anyone who decided to read through all this, hope it helped if you didn’t have time for the full vid or didn’t want to piece stuff together on their twitter page. If there was anything that I missed that seems important, or lore stuff any of you all would like to talk about, I’d love to hear it! I keep up with the lore more than I play nowadays and while the product fatigue is real, I do enjoy the speculation from some story stuff in at least the near future of sets.
#mtg#vorthos#magic the gathering#mtg arena#long post#my ramblings#ravnica#tarkir#eldraine#ixalan#outlaws of thunder junction#bloomburrow#duskmorne#lorwyn#strixhaven#c'mon jace and vraska for 2024
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how do I make a good deck with only cards that are fuckable really cool :>
I've never played mtg
I've been interested in the past, but I don't have any friends who play
and if I'm gonna collect cards, I want to be able to boast to my friends that I have cooler cards and tell them to suck it
hmmmm well if you specifically want fuckable cards you kinda have to know what youre looking for. you could just pick an archetype that you like to play and just go through like edhrec and scryfall and specifically only add the cards that are cool/cute/fuckable and your deck might suck kinda bad but every card you play will make your opponents start drooling and maybe youll win purely off that >:3 there's also a million decklists online of people building jank like "hot bitches tribal" and you only need to look around!!
also i highly recommend magic as a game i think its really fun and its my favorite game and forever hyper fixation. i hope you can find some people to play with theres plenty of people who want to play online :3 i reccomend tabletop simulator personally for playing
as for having a more swag collection than your friends there are such such a wide variety of different arts and showcase versions of cards these days that you can amass a collection of really pretty and swag cards if you only buy the fancy versions of cards lol
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as a 2-drop this is a little too vanilla and as a 4-drop it's a bit behind rate. it has decent damage potential when combined with other morph creatures but i can't imagine many burn decks want to play a bunch of random 3 mana 2/2s. regardless, this can lead to some splashy kills, so it will at least be mtg arena jank playable.
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LiS characters at an Commander/EDH Table Headcanon
A/N: This was originally supposed to be a “What MTG color identity would the LiS 1 characters be?” And then I sat down and went “Lmoa no, this is idea way funnier.” and besides parts of that original HC will inevitably bleed through here.
I guess really the only fanon “changes” here would be that I’ll be mentioning cards from FAR past 2013 so ig do whatever mental gymnastics you need to do there. Oh, and we’re supposing that any of the characters could afford to splurge on multiple commander decks.
Max Caulfield
you wouldn’t think it because of how genuinely she just appreciates shuffling up, sitting down, and spending time with the other Blackwell nerds, but Max can and will optimize her decks to a fault.
It’s less about “competitive viability” and more because she just appreciates brewing highly interactive spell-slinger stuff.
Has a pet Narset extra turns deck. You cannot convince me otherwise. When it pops off, she definitely excitedly texts Chloe about being “a time master in AND out of game”.
The only person on Earth I would smile at and encourage after I hear the phrase “I cast Expropriate for free. Responses?”
One of those “I’m addicted to R/U please God help me break out of this archetype” people but is somehow adorkable about it
Will target you if she picks up even the slightest hint that you’re about to Cyclonic Rift and not just because you’re... you know... casting Cyclonic Rift.
Chloe Price
Very much loves jank. Something about the “isle of broken toys” triumphing against whatever monstrosity everyone else brought really appeals to her.
Loves the idea of certain archetypes, but as long as a given list guarantees that she’s playing lots of cards and doing lots of things on her turns, she’ll mainly just build whatever she thinks is cool.
As a result, Chloe has run Yuriko and Beckett Brass decks in the past.
“Come on Max, did you really think I’d pass up being able to beat you all with pirates? You already know I'm ALL over that. Ninjas are hella awesome too.”
It doesn’t hurt that Yuriko can wipe the floor with everyone if they aren’t careful.
Doesn’t gravitate towards a specific color or color combo but plays aggressively in whatever flavor she finds appealing.
And I do mean AGGRESSIVELY. Chloe loves the serotonin rush of slapping a ton of guys down and then turning them all sideways even if it leaves her open to dying in the next few turns.
Even if she doesn’t take things super seriously, she will definitely high-key target you in the next game if you fucked her over in the previous one.
Kate Marsh
Kate took some convincing that Magic wasn’t some weird ritual since her parents almost certainly forbade her from even learning about it as a kid and filled her head with satanic panic BS.
Once she actually sat in on a game or two (and after Max showed her Rin and Seri), she was able to set her compunctions aside and will show up to game night when her schedule allows.
in the same way Chloe builds what she thinks is cool, Kate definitely builds what she thinks is cute. (*cough* Kwain *cough*)
The first deck she built on her own was almost certainly Jinnie Fay go-wide.
Will cry inside (and honestly maybe a few tears escape on the outside.) if you board wipe. Not because her board presence is gone and she’ll need to rebuild but because you just killed Molly, Holly, Taylor, and every other token she’d given a loving name.
Warren Graham
Is THAT combo player. An absolute menace. What else were you expecting?
Maybe it’s just my bias against Warren showing here, but he’s definitely the kind of guy who goes “Oops! I win!” out of nowhere after just playing solitaire in the background for 5-6 turns to set up.
Still keeps some lower power stuff around in case people get too upset about it though.
Much like Chloe, doesn’t really have a preferred color combo. Unlike Chloe, he builds whatever he can optimize to a disgusting degree.
Usually wins game 1 pretty easily unless Max stops him but going into game 2 understands that he’s consigned himself to playing archenemy for the rest of the night.
His pet card is probably fuckin’ mana drain or panharmonicon or some shit idk.
Tune in next time for my thesis on why Victoria would play Queen Marchesa jk.
... unless.
#lifeistrange#lis#lis headcanon#max caulfield#chloe price#kate marsh#warren graham#lis imagines#magic the gathering#edh
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MTG asks
1, 4, 16, 21, 22, and 49
What is your favorite color(s)?
I am a great enjoyer of blue -- it's got the clones, it's got the best card draw, it's got the fun interaction, literally what's not to love? Especially since adding green gives you every interesting scaling effect in history
4. Favorite card(s)?
My pet cards are largely jank like Biovisionary, Simic Ascendancy or Season of Growth
as well as cards with purely nostalgic value like Applied Biomancy, Lorescale Coatl or my boy Sharktocrab
16. What’s your favorite or best deck?
I have a supremely fun Lonis edh deck that finds the best scaling effect in every player's deck and makes ~1000 copies of it. My best deck is a $7 Captain Ripley Vance deck built for me by @puppybytes because she is incredible at mtg and every other deck I play I actively made worse because I have no impulse control when it comes to adding unplayable cards
21. Favorite planeswalker?
Does Rona count as a planeswalker yet? She's been places I enjoy messing around with characters that don't have much written about them like Calix and Ashiok since there's a lot of fun stuff to play around with without many canonical restrictions. Out of the main cast I have a lot of gender envy towards Chandra -- she's gay, she's fun, she uncontrollably explodes which are all aspirational qualities. to me. Special shoutout to Tamiyo, Compleated Sage because every card she shows up on fucks supremely and she deserved more story appearances
22. Favorite non-creature, non-plansewalker card?
Has to be Season of Growth. There's something about storming off in blue-green that you really can't get from classic izzet storm
49. What’s one card that you use that nobody else does?
I'm not going to retread previous questions and instead say Flood of Tears. It's a fair boardwipe that I play instead of the ever-present cyclonic rift, it lets me keep my biggest thing on the board and then get all of my etb effects and reselect targets for my clones. Plus it doesn't feel nearly so bad to play against!
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Ring-a-ding!!
I have some ridiculous decks inbound!
Im sorry that I have been dark for a bit yet again.. I have had to overhaul my life because I am now working graveyard shifts and coming to terms with being single again.
I am continuing the Red shenanigans series! At least for like the next three builds (or beyond that. Don't @me Wololoes, I see you)
I have a super spicy build in the works which may or may not reflect how I feel. Expect aggro Jank in the near future.
Stay tuned for some wild things my lovely villains. 😘
Also! Happy pride month! 💜😘
#mtg#mtg edh#magic the gathering commander#magic the gathering#edh#commander#mtg commander#elder dragon highlander#jank yells at everyone#jank yells at jank#jank yells about decks#jank yells about stuff#red shenanigans#beware the red player#pinger tribal when?
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Kitchen Table: Bloodbath
A friend of mine, let's call them The Nurse, had asked me a while ago to go through what was left of their cards from when they played. I divined this was the first Theros Block and/or Return to Ravnica as in what they called "probably nothing that great" I found a Swan Song and a Watery Grave among other stuff. "Nothing that great." Good thing The Nurse is pretty.
Anyway, I used that stuff and my own ridiculous back catalog and made them a Tasha commander deck (whew, our Commander night was hard-- way too many spinning plates for them; I owe them a big apology for my Sefris deck), to revamp their Kiora from the planeswalker precon deck into an Oathbreaker deck, and just recently into a little Rakdos vamps build. All of these are 100% on-brand for The Nurse, and while they're just for fun, they're absolutely tune-up ready for when they're able to take the reins. For each I use as many of their cards as I could so they would feel ownership of the decks.
But it got me thinking: why haven't I ever played Vampires as a tribal deck? I mean, I don't usually give a shit about vamps. Their fans are annoying at times in pop culture and razor-sharp Vamp decks are very close to unfun negative experiences in my experience. So lol maybe I have some baggage.
I started looking at Blood Tokens as they're absolutely the fiddly horseshit I REVEL in. 36 Cards make BTs and taken together it runs about 3-drop curve.
Also, a lot of them are stupid. Beginning to remember why no Vamps.
OK so the initial list was something 1998 me absolutely would ahve built without seeing a single goddamn problem: 40 creatures and 20 lands. Let's go. But then, wait, hold on...ETB triggers. Maybe we could splash white?
So let's see how this thing handles. My son, 15, might not hate this one. But he probably will.
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