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undercoverpena · 4 months

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my 2023 tumblr top 10

WARNING: I’m going to be mushy about my writing, and celebrate me, if this isn’t for you, scroll past. kindness only.

1. 2,541 notes - Nov 18 2023

BE GOOD, BE QUIET

joel miller x f!reader (tlou)

i’m so blown away by the love this fic got!! this silly idea of a storm, of joel, and here we are. it was the fingers in your mouth wasn’t it... i knew it.

2. 2,495 notes - Mar 27 2023

ABOUT SOMEONE, THAT ISN’T YOU

simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader (cod)

this was such a blast to write, and i still can’t believe a little whump fic from me did so well!! i will say one of my fave lines ever is this: He finds you in the centre of dust and debris.

3. 2,339 notes - Apr 23 2023

AREPAS

javier peña x f!reader (narcos)

my baby. the fic i’ve re-read the most. my beloved. i remember posting this after a mammoth 6 hour editing sessions of it because dyslexia, and then the relief. i went to sleep, woke up, and was like omfg.

4. 2,155 notes - Jul 31 2023

CAN YOU IMAGINE...

simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader (cod)

this was purely me being up far too late, and just being a mush, that then turned spicy. it should be expected now, but then, in july, it was all new for me.

5. 1,662 notes - Jun 9 2023

LATE NIGHT TEXTS SERIES

javier peña x f!reader (narcos)

arepas walked, so LNT could RUN. gosh. this fic. the last couple of days it has so much love too, and i’m so overwhelmed, and happy. but my fave thing about this, it all stemmed from a scene in my head of him picking her up from the airport, combined with the fact i was alone for a week, and here we are. one of my fave things i’ve ever written.

6. 1,634 notes - Feb 26 2023

TAKE ME TO YOURS

javier peña x f!reader (narcos)

stemmed from a prompt, this was meant to be a short thing that quickly got away from me. it was one of the first things i wrote for this man, and i still have so much love for it. the scene of him seeing her in the room, god....

7. 1,612 notes - Sep 17 2023

YOU SHOULD BE MY ONLY GIRL

joel miller x f!reader (tlou)

so this fic is a firm fave for me, because not only was it for my cheese ( @thetriumphantpanda ), but also i had the chance to have @perotovar ‘s work on my fic too. like still, i can’t believe how fortunate i am. i still love this one so freaking much. the stress of me worrying if it was good enough though, didn’t love that so much.

8. 1,564 notes - Jan 3 2023

DON’T

john price x f!reader (cod)

this was the most ridiculously brilliant thing, because i wrote it in a chat to my friend @guyfieriii and she was like POST THIS. and i did, and here we are. to this day, price is still someone i dont feel confident writing, but i will admit this was alright ;)

9. 1,484 notes - Jul 15 2023

CIRCLES AND SQUARES

simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader (cod)

sometimes, some of my best works are when i write them for people, and writing this for mothie was a joy. i also can’t believe how much ghost is in my top ten.

10. 1,357 notes - Aug 29 2023

HOME AND THE GHOST MUG

simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader (cod)

this might have been the last thing i wrote for cod before leaving the fandom entirely, and again, i was up far too late, moving a mug of my husband’s, and here is the product of it.

Created by TumblrTop10

#tumblrtop10 #jo's thoughts

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turbulentscrawl · 3 months

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heya :P no clue if you take just silly chat asks ( if you dont do feel free to delete this ^^;: ) , but i decided to drop by and send somethin since my team got matched with you earlier today . hi im the luca that yelled at you in postmatch ehehe ( also i apologize in advance for the ranty-ness of this ask im horrid at both idv and at controlling myself . )

i wonder how often you get recognized tho lol , is it a lot ? i was so shell shocked when i registered your user in postmatch …….

anyways … for funsies , heres a list of nicknames me and my friends have given idv characters !! if you feel inclined , guess who ! ( i say as if some of these arent INCREDIBLY obvious hah )

vacuum cleaner , soup man , steve from minecraft , watering can , luka luka night fever ( wow what a difficult one ) , MAGICAL GIRL [INSERT NAME] ( cant give it away yk ) , orphan , math , joseph ( this is not the most obvious answer ) , pyrite ( nobody would suspect this one trust /j ) , pasta/coffee/chocolate , “the one with the stupid name ??” —me , WIZARD , and last but not least , Chair Destroyer 3000 .

it was fun gaming with you , thanks for being silly with us !! appreciate ya 👉😎👉 ( mothy and carlos emoting at the rocket chairs at the end made me laugh really hard )

sincerely yours , the absolute worst luca main in existence ever ⭐️

so fun fact for everyone, I was playing Antonio in hunter yesterday and got rizzed HARD in pre match. I'm weak for flirting and silliness so not only did I go friendly immediately, I married the Gravekeeper in the Red Church. Psychologist officiated. We honeymooned in the basement and lived happily ever after <3

you're actually only the second person to recognize me! The other person was @ dentiststoothfairy in duos, but the roles were switched and they tried to kill me 😂

Soup man MUST be Joseph bc he's got that...weird emote.

I HOPE magical girl is martha/coord because with the gun that's just too funny.

Math...is Alva? Gotta keep track of all the DMG fractions and such.

Vacuum cleaner might be Naib because he's a bottomless food pit.

Pasta/Coffee/Chocolate might be Andrew, but specifically with his Cheese skin

Steve from Minecraft I think is either lucky guy, Andrew, or Burke

Chair Destroyer Emma

orphan could be so many of them but I'll say Orpheus

I really wanna know how Luca got that super long "nickname" fjdhshs

Hope to see you guys around again! Im usually down to play if you see me online~

#turbulentanswers

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the-hydroxian-artblog · 3 years

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Where in the hell do you store all that motivation??

in my ass. i force art out of it. we call this technique “f-arting”

also i've been getting a lot of anons and answering them all would seriously clutter the blog so. here’s a big bunch of anons I’ve answered.

FYI, the most reliable way of getting a response from me is asking off-anon, so I can send an answer privately and not have to worry about cluttering up the blog if it’s a question that’s been asked previously or just a simple remark

Don't know if you've answered this before but what program/brushes do you use?

What art software do you use? I want to use the brushes you've been using in your shit. They look fuckin' bangin'.

Clip Studio Paint, check here for an answer to a previous ask like this! But for my recent ink sketches, I’ve used this

hey, i know what i may be saying is useless but i was listening to some music and To My Enemies - Saint Motel reminded me of your STH AU, that's all lol, love ur art bye

Honestly a neat connection, not one I’d expect but it’s welcome all the same

Beth and Spamton. Violence or joy?

Beth scams Spamton then feels really bad and gives him some tips. Then she goes on a dinner date with Queen

what font do you use for text in ur art

Answered! Lucida Console.

Will we see Tails interacting with tails bot? Or Knuckles with metal Knuckles?

Tails might interact with TD at some point. I dunno about Knuckles though. I barely have any notes on either of their characterizations.

wot ur opinion deltarune chapter too

it’s good

thank you so much for creating mothy, best moth i've ever seen

thank you for appreciating him

Does it give him (Mike) some solace knowing that he will likely outlive Sonic and be able to breakdance on his grave?

yes. that is the plan.

As a lesbian i think i owe you my life for Tikal and Rouge in Hanging Out 😂😂 truly.... perfect 💖💖💖

how does it feel to have perfect taste

I feel like Metal would at some point call sonic Flesh Sonic or Meat Sonic out of spite

That’s a really brilliant concept to be honest

Say, with Cream having a vampiric mom and potential vampiric powers despite her mortality, would her relationship with Cheese n' Chocola change? Actually, now that I think about it, what role might the Chao in general have in your AU (if they have any that goes beyond canon)?

Cheese is Cream’s body guard. Cream likewise has no powers, other than remarkable marksmanship. Chocola is just chillin.

Is Amy aware of Gamma’s death? Like, that the original Gamma from Adventure is dead, and was subsequently one of the birds from photo in the pendent (did she ever find/figure it out)? Or does she think Gamma’s still out there, somewhere? Does she ever think about him and whatever happened to him?

Follow-Up Question: Zero. Does Amy have, like, any nightmares or stress dreams about him showing up again in her life, somehow (like smashing through a wall into her house like the kool aid man)?

1. Amy learned of Gamma’s death through Tikal, who witnessed it. Amy wished things didn’t end that way, simply put.

2. Nah.

I know you got commissions but do you also do art/sketch trades?

Not at this time, sorry.

Sticks has enormous “Hey friend listen, I know the world is scary right now, but it’s gonna get way worse” energy.

That’s her character, yes.

Speaking of Badniks, any Scratch and Grounder hc's?

Their situation in the AU is dimensionally complicated, and I won’t get into it at this time. *flashes you with a neuralyzer*

What is Blaze like in your AU? Is she from the future or from the Sol Dimension? Both? Is she even real? Did Silver find a pointy pineapple and name it Blaze in his bad future?

blaze is literally just canon self but like, older by 7 years. she’s from the sol dimension, minding her own business

I know it’s been years but in Hangin’ Out - 23 why does Amy react so badly to being called pink?

she reacts badly to being pursued and implied to be an acceptable target for being pink. I feel there’s a difference here

Have you ever heard of the band Steam Powered Giraffe??? I think they'd be up your alley!

perhaps they would... i may give em a listen, hm

i really like mike the hedgehog (metal) and i'd love to hug him, but i feel if i did i would die on the spot so instead i'll give him a gun as a gift

you wouldn’t die he’d just be really uncomfortable and would probably swat you away, like he always does at things that annoy him. he’d appreciate the gun, though

#FAQ #anonymous #anons

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drabbles-of-writing · 3 years

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#I could go OFF abt Luz fighting these bitches I Dare you to ask me ... Please do. I ask you. 8D

First of all I absolutely love your pfp second of all LETS GOOOO

After mimicking their words back at them and she’s in full mothman form, fluff, antennae, wings and all, she just LAUNCHES at them. She’s fast as hell and manages to crash into one of them with a screech of a monster who was Made for Murder. She’s a sweet thing but one must remember mothmans original myths were about him terrifying people. Course the hunters all lose their collective shit bc a) shes one of them and b) she is Not something any of them were prepared to find.

Luz doesn’t have as big claws or teeth as Amity, or hell even Gus, but she has A Lot of them, she’s fast, and they are EXTREMELY sharp. They’ve got silver bullets, they’ve got silver knives, they’ve got garlic and stakes but DAMN she is Out For Blood. She knocks out the flashlights with just her wings and while normally with a light shining on her face she’d be going lämp, she is Far past that stage she’s got pupils blown wide but still shining as she just Crushes the light bc fun fact a lot of extra limbs appearing on a person tend to add to their weight.

Shes got clawed elongated hands digging into faces and slamming them back into the dirt, shrieky chirps with wings, despite being generally pretty thin compared to most wings, can and will knock an entire camera set over bc Yes they would want to film this shit they’re dicks. She’s sinking her fangs into legs and tearing up the skin so bad w her teef the parts she ripped off literally look like string cheese. She gets kicked in the face and she just bites through the rubber like its jello.

Its absolute CHAOS. Everyones either running or trying to attack her, she can hear every step and can mimic any voice, I wouldn’t say she necessarily plays with them but she certainly has tricks to grab and rip them apart. Shes grabbing people, flying into the air, and throwing them full force into a tree and they best hope they manage to hit a branch on the way down bc pine trees are Tall.

Its thanks to this attack + the camera that barely managed to catch anything from the forest floor that the mothman ‘sightings’ SPIKE. Mothman is Very Often talked about from the footage recovered and its less of a ‘haha mothy man’ and more of a ‘oh okay so This Will Actually Murder Me In My Sleep’

Anyway point is not one hunter leaves unscathed and Luz is screeching at them through the pines until they leave. She ended up taking two knives to the wings and a stake to the back but shes more worried about limping back to the Blight siblings, who hid, with her wings dragging on the forest floor and worrying if they’re okay.

This both increases their popularity but also decreases it. Not they themselves, but the ~area~. Nobody wants to go looking for the creature that shrieks at them in the forest and rips their face off but at the same time,,,,,Cryptids

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ladynoirelf · 3 years

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Dark Crystal Couples Tiktok: Texting s/o that someone is flirting with them

Deet to Rian.

Stoneboo:

Rian, this guy keeps leering at me and it's making me uncomfortable.

Deet counted six seconds before Rian came sliding down the aisle she was in.

She doubled over in laughter at the sight of a loaf of bread in his hand and his hair tied in a bun.

“Where is he?” he asked, tone filled with menace as he looked around for the creep.bread swinging as if it were a bola.

“W-Why do you have bread”? Deet laughed, holding a fuming Rian back with her hands on his chest.

“Where's the guy”?

“Why are you swinging the poor bread like that”?

“I'm gonna hit him with it”.

“With a loaf of…” Deet grabbed the bag midair “Spritan Maiden Wheat Bread”?

“Yeah, he's lucky I didn't grab the string cheese. Deet where is the guy”?

“There is no guy, but thank you for getting the bread”. Deet beamed, fluttering her lashes as he gently disarmed her pissed love to put the loaf in the basket.

Rian to Deet

MY Deet:

So don't panic, but the same girl keeps jogging by me while I do my stretches.

‘Where in Thra’s name is she’? It had been twenty minutes since he sent his text and he was still shirtless and sweaty underneath one of the park’s trees.

“Hey Rian”.

He turned around to see Deet walking his way

“Hey, did you get my message”?

“Yeah”.

“Well...where were-do you care”?

“Oh Rian” Deet cooed, kissing her boyfriend’s sweaty cheek “I knew you were gonna handle that. I trust you”. She giggled, settling on the blanket Rian had spread out for his workout gear.

As Rian continued his workout he coulndt help but notice Deet side eying any female joggers that passed by them.

Brea to Kylan

UnaLarva:

Larva this guy has been giving me kissing faces. I tried losing him in the mystery novels but he’s still goggling me.

Brea was leaning on the bookcase when Kylan came jetting into the mystery books aisle.

Hair tousled, jacket tied around his waist and a heavy encyclopedia gripped in his hand. Brea raised a brow.

“What in the-”?

“W-Where's the guy”?

“ Hm”?

“They guy that was making you uncomfortable, where is he”? Kylan scanned the isle looking for anyone suspicious.

“Oh Larva there is no guy, I just wanted to see if you would come.” Brea pulled Kylan into a comforting hug. “My big, strong, protector”. She cooed. Giggling at Kylan’s relief sigh as he gripped the sliping encyclopedia with his other hand.

“Oh thank Thra, because as much as I love you I can't fight very well. I was ready to take a beating”. Kylan breathed.

“Awww, you would take a beating for me”?

“Yeah”.

“Please don't, and why are your clothes and hair a mess”?

“I was trying to look intimidating Brea you know i'm only 3’3”.

“Oh, okay and what's the encyclopedia for”?

“My weapon of choice, you like it”.

“Yeah it's...fitting”. Brea chuckled “so where are you coming from? You got here pretty fast”.

“The adventure books, they have the new volume of that series you like”.

“Oh Really! Well come on then”. She grabbed her still confused boyfriend by the wrist and dragged him to the adventure aisle.

Kylan to Brea

Brea:

Brea, this guy keeps on following me. I've tried to lose him, but I think he's trailing me. I'm in the calligraphy aisle.

‘I already have a feeling i'm going to regret this’ Kylan hesitantly sent the message, making sure no one was in the aisle with him before he sent it. Knowing his girlfriend, she would attack at the first gillon she saw.

It took only a second before the rapid clicking of heels and Brea sliding into the aisle with an exacto-knife removed from its package, uncapped and gripped tightly in her hand.

“Where is he”? She seethed “who's bothering you”?

“For the love of Thra, where did you get a knife”?!

“We're in the Art store, I'm surrounded by weapons of choice. Now Where is the guy messing with my Una Larva”?

“There is no guy, I was just joking”. Kylan frantically gripped the back of Brea’s dress trying to hold her in place. She looked back at him with wide embarrassed eyes.

“Are you being serious”?

“Yes, I'm sorry”. Kylan’s ears bashfully lowered. Brea sighed as she pulled the exacto blade’s cap from her pocket.

“Augra’s eye Ky, be careful I was ready to kill a gelf”. She sighed as she put the cap on the blade “And I need to buy this because I took it out of the package”.

“You are crazy, I love you but you're crazy”. Kylan laughed softly, kissing Brea’s silver locks.

“Hey it took me nineteen trine to find my dream-gillon”. She yanked Kylan into a kiss by the collar of his shirt. “And i'm not gonna let anyone take him from me” she smirked.

“Of course, my princess”.

Mothria to Gurjin

Himbo Prince:

Gur-Gur, some guy is eyeing me. I'm by the shirts, please hurry!

Mothria couldn't help but snicker behind her hand as she tucked her phone back in her bag. She was actually kind of excited to see what deranged yet comedic thing was gonna come next.

“Baaabe~’”.

‘Oh my Thra.’

Nothing could prepare Mothria for her boyfriend, covered in poorly drawn lipsticks marks all over his face with his clothes all disheveled.

“Hey you woke up before we could start round two~. You ready to-where's the guy”?

Mothria burst out laughing, doubling over, clutching over and wheezing as she tried to catch her breath.

“W...What in Aguhra’s name did you do to yourself?” she wheezed

“Where’s the guy”?

“There is no guy, what is on your face”? Mothris brushed her thumb over her love’s face wiping off the lipstick.

“Babe, I had to sneak into the makeup section to get this stuff on me. Do you know how many looks I got? Alot”.

“Oh Thra, come on before we get banned”. Mothria grabbed Gurjin by his jacket, hurrying out of the store before getting caught.

Gurjin to Mothria

Mothy:

I’ve got a guy on my tail, could use some assistance in the tool aisle.

Gurjin snickerd as he sends the text, leaning against one of the shelves as he hears the incoming doom of the imaginary pursuer.

All he saw were green and blue locs dangling as Mothria peeked her head into the aisle, eyes scanning for someone close to his proximity.

“You okay”? She asked, heading towards him with a metal pipe in her hand.

“Aughra’s eye Mothy”.

“What”?

“You gonna break the guys kneecaps? I'm flattered”.

“Huh”? Mothria looked at Gurjin pointing to the ‘weapon’ in her hand “Oh my- no this is something I'm buying this for Pop-Pa! I would never”. She giggled “So is there no guy? You made me run here like a mad woman with an assumed weapon”.

“You wouldn't bust some kneecaps for me”? Gurjin pouted.

“I would, just not today in a hardware store”.

“So you would do it any other day in a different place”?

Mothria rolled her eyes, taking her boyfriends hand “Of course, no one touches me or you”.

#stonegrot #royalmelody #modernau #oc x canon #Rian #deet #brea x kylan #kylan #deet x rian #gurjin #mothria #ladynoirelf #Gelfling #Dark Crystal #dark crystal novel #dark crystal age of resistance

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fakesurprise · 5 years

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One Jaysome Day: 5 am

5 am: Charlie

(4 am can be found here.)

I open the bedroom door slowly, half-awake and fighting back a yawn. Jay is asleep in the bed in a smorgasbord of blankets. Eyes shut, breathing deep and steady Jay sleeps every night, and often claims to have ‘at least two sleepings’. He just remains very vague about how long they are. Or when he has them. Or what happens between them. Sometimes I find out via the news or jay himself. Sometimes I never do.

I close the door and head into the kitchen. Jay appears as I open the fridge at a speed any cat would envy.

“... snack?” I offer.

“I’m always ready for snacks!”

I get bread and cheese out; Jay eats most of it happily, but at least not the bag as well.

“Any adventures between sleepings?” I ask.

“Uh-huh! I met lots of new friends and did you know that a hug is always jaysome even if it’s a sneak hug?! I did a few of them and helped a moth become a motherfly, which is like a butterfly but mothy and! I helped a beach find a whale to be friends with and six cats find their way home and explainified to someone who didn’t want a that they could get a dog since dog is another word for hug!”

He goes on for a good five minutes, only some of which I understand at all.

Then announces that he hasn’t told Noah or Anya about them yet.

“They’re sleeping,” I say quickly. “And need it, after their adventures yesterday.”

“Oh! Okay. Wait, got to go!” And Jay vanishes, which means his second ‘sleep’ is likely over.

We didn’t do anything unusual yesterday, but next to bindings, adventures is the easiest word to explain things to Jay with. I wait five minutes. He doesn’t return. I walk out of the motel room Jay and I are sharing: it has the small kitchen unit and two rooms; Noah and Anya opted for single ones with their fae credit cards.

Both rooms are locked and silent. I reach out with my talent, and eat the state of being locked from each door. Noah’s room is empty, neat and clean. He polished the bathroom, partially with his talent to move things. Anya’s is less neat, but also empty. Hers has a note on the bed.

‘Doing a different adventure. Be back later. Please don’t join us; it’s private.’

Anya’s talent lets her harm people; one odd reality of it is that her handwriting is rather jagged. This note isn’t; she wrote it several times in her head at least, and slowly by hand.

I rub the bridge of my nose. I knew this day was coming. Even Noah was having drinks after some adventures with Jay. He is jaysome, but that’s never all he is. Adventures get absurd, and insane, and what Jay considers normal is never normal for anyone else. Travelling with Jay is seeing the butterfly effect on speed, and that’s on a normal day.

Jay is very, very good at bindings. And not at all good with people leaving him, no matter the reason. Friends don’t leave friends. I’ve done it a few times. Even the wandering magician did ones. Both times, Jay got older. The first made him eleven after two years of being ten, more than losing his sight because things the magician did. And Jay has never understood why Nathan couldn’t stay after that, because Jay didn’t blame him at all. He operates on a scale that humans don’t, with a level of trust that isn’t human at all.

And he will never understand why anyone would need a break from a Jay, not while he is jaysome. And likely not after that as well.

I swear, though not aloud. Anya and Noah know this, Noah especially. His foster-father is ex-secret agent, his foster mother used to be a magician. They both know more than they think they do. But they did this anyway. They travelled with me to learn more about their talents. Jay showed up, as Jay does. They remained.

I’d known it was getting hard. I hadn’t wanted to see how hard.

Jay is in the doorway, with coffees in one hand. “I got coffees for everyone and -.” He stops.

“Anya and Noah are having a secret adventure,” I say.

“Oh.”

Jay sets the coffee down on the one small dresser in the room. “Without us at all?” he demands.

I nod.

Jay thinks that over. “Does that mean they’re doing a sexing?”

“....a what?”

“It’s when people do really private hugs not always with arms and there are lots of bindings involved,” Jay says proudly.

The worst part is that he isn’t wrong. “And that’s sex, is it?”

“I’m not sure! Sometimes the bindings get really confusled and people shout a lot of a Jay asks but! I knew if I asked you, you’d say I’d know when I’m older even if I can sense the bindings now so I did askings and it was really pretty weird you know.”

“I imagine I do.” My coffee is the largest. I take it, have a sip. Jay is eleven. He’s been on earth for six years. I’m still not ready for this conversation.

“Anya and Noah are not having sex, since they’d never date.”

“Oh! Right! I was told that’s sometimes not a part of it, though? Which is kind of like a cake without frosting at all!”

I drink the coffee with an effort of will, and to buy myself a little time. “We’ll just have a few adventures without them today.”

“But –.”

“You don’t have to take their coffees to them. I’ll drink those for them today.”

“Oh, okay.” And then he grins in delight. “I can eat their snacks and lunches!”

“You can,” I say, and Jay vanishes in a blur of movement rather than actually vanishing, in search of breakfast.

I have no idea how long it will take him to realize they will be gone more than a day.

I have no idea what he might do.

I don’t call the wandering magician. We have breakfast. A few adventures. I can keep Jay focused for that long before he senses that the bindings changed with Anya and Noah.

All I can hope is that they’re safe and haven’t done anything stupid. But having travelled with Jay, our definition of stupid tends to begin at apocalyptic and work it’s way up to to accidentalyptic and then to full-on oops.

I think I can prevent the latter. I just have no idea how yet.

#writing #prose #magician series #one jaysome day

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autisticbee · 6 years

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Storm’s gen DBH fic rec

I’m prolly gonna make another one of these for rk1k fic at a later date, for now heres a rec of my fave gen fic (unsurprisingly, it’s all father-son hank and connor lol)

Connor Backpack - Sharcade

Rating - General Audiences

Words - 9k

Warnings: None

String cheese, juice boxes, 3D puzzles, fidget toys, wet wipes, logic toys, washable markers, stuffed animal keychains, quarters, bandaids, snacks, stickers, hand sanitizer, books, spare clothes, and fruit gummies. That's basically everything that made up the Connor Backpack, and as heavy as it got, Hank always carried it.

Malfunction - mothi

Rating - General Audiences

Words - 4k

Warnings: None

He is having a bad day, he decides. He is having, as Hank would call it, an off day.

Find Yourself - AutisticConnor

Rating - General

Words - 2k

Warnings: None

Connor has a bit of an realization and goes on a bit of a quest to find somethings out.

The Incident at the Eden Club - UnifiedNations

Rating - Teen

Words - 2k

Warnings: None

After being called to another murder at The Eden Club, Connor realises something about himself he didn't know beforehand, Hank helps him get there and Gavin is... Gavin.

Asexual Connor, rated teen for swearing.

Heartstring - Brachydios

Rating - General

Words - 3k

Warnings - None

Hank decides it’s his responsibility to embarrass Connor in any way he can. It’s just what fathers do, after all.

my name is connor, i’m the autistic sent by cyberlife (series)

Rating - General

Words - 12k

Warnings - None

a star closer than the sun - TheOfficialCanadianTeabagSummary

Rating - Teen

Words - 10k

Warnings - None

It's a special day and Connor wants to do something special for his special human.

#my posts #my fic rec #my fic recs #i forgot my tag lol its been so long

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einstein-robin-hood-blog · 7 years

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The Dharma Subs, by Jack Kerouac (excerpt)

Just outside of Barstow, the needle on the speedometer hit 120. Dean let out a whoop and put his chin back on the steering wheel. He had a tuna sub in each hand (toasted parmesan cheese roll, lettuce, tomato, black olive, extra pickle, benzadrine) and was steering with his chin.

“Sal, grab the wheel for a sec.”

I leaned over and Dean reached into the cooler on the back seat and grabbed another sub (iron foundry bread, wilted Apache lettuce, Hampton tomatoes, jingo weed sauce, crystal meth). Now he was working on three and yelling:

“This is it, man! No one has ever driven 120 while eating three subs!”

We were headed to Denver to hear Carlo Marx read his new poem -

HOW(L) Do You Want Your Sub? - at a Paint and Sip in East Colfax. There was a waitress there that Dean had knocked up on his last trip through town and since he had just gotten divorced, he was all set to marry Gladys (that being her name).

But it had to be a surgical strike, because there was a warrant out for Dean. Last summer, Dean beat up a kid who was working the counter during Sub Night at the Montbello Paint and Sip. Dean didn’t like the way the kid made his sub (Hawaiian longboard bread, Emily Dickinson lettuce, whorehouse tomatoes, Popeye spinach, olive oil, very few pickles (really, it was insulting), peyote). Dean jumped over the counter, knocked the kid out, and then emptied the whole jar of pickles on his sub (Hawaiian longboard bread, Emily Dickinson lettuce, whorehouse tomatoes, Popeye spinach, olive oil, way too many pickles now, peyote). This probably would have been fine, except he then poured a gallon jug of chipotle mayonnaise on the kid’s head. Dean’s bad luck would have it that the kid aspirated some of the mayo and was in the hospital for six weeks. Yeah, that stuff burns. Also turns out that the kid was a nephew of Denver’s mayor, Aloysious “Triphammer” Fortescue. So the whole Denver police force, batons in hand, were on the lookout for Dean.

The sun was going down when we decided to take a detour to Provo. Good sub town. They had a special sub, called The Esteemed Savory Elder Brigham Young, May His Memory Be A Blessing, Sub (Yemeni pita, sundried lettuce, Incan tomato, pickled forget-me-nots, mescaline), that drew them in from miles around. Folks in Provo got their energy from the mountains and the tumbleweeds that blow through town night and day. True believers who spend their days roping cows, throwing seed on dirt that’s been in their families for generations, or pulling a double shift at the Paint and Sip. At night, they trim their nose hair in the bathroom mirror and wait for the banjo repairman. Say what you will about Mormons, they know how to make a good sub (toasted pioneer bread, double cheese, oil & vinegar, righteous Jesus pickle, amphetamine).

It was around midnight when we spotted her by the side of the road. We had just passed through a ghost town called The Parson’s Handbag and were starting to flag. We were down to our last sub (quinoa loaf, swamp lettuce, moonbeam tomatoes, blind midget peppers, dead coal miner sauce, pineal gland extract).

Her name was Sunbeam and she was dressed as a giant six foot sub (foam rubber bun, styrofoam tomato, green felt lettuce, plasticine chipotle mayonnaise, LSD). And a five gallon tub of pickles under her arm. She jumped into the front seat and sat herself down right between me and Dean.

“Good tidings, hepcats. You fine examples of American manhood wouldn’t happen to be going to Provo, would you?”

“As a matter of fact, sister, we are,” I replied. “Settle in and dig the happenings.” Dean just stared.

“So, milady of the toasted bun, what flame doth draw thy sweet and tender mothiness to the enchanted burg of Provo.” My flirting game was a little rusty, so I may have been laying it on a bit thick.

“Big sub convention! The Mormons are rolling out a new secret sub (?????,?????,?????,?????). They claim just one bite gives you eternal life and your own planet. Makes The Esteemed Savory Elder Brigham Young, May His Memory Be A Blessing, Sub taste like dirt. They call it The Rapture Sub.”

“Far out. I wants in, missy.”

“You gots in, mister.”

Through all this world-class flirting, Dean was quiet as a speakeasy mouse on a three-day cheese and port wine jag. His eyes were glued to the road. Every once in a while he’d reach over and grab Sunbeam by the bun. She’d giggle and slap his hand away playfully.

We eventually ran out of subs and decided to pull over and crash for the night. Being a gentleman, or thinking myself to be one, I offered to sleep in the trunk, leaving Sunbeam the spacious backseat and Dean the front. He liked to sleep with his chin hanging off the bottom of the steering wheel, “Good practice,” he’d say.

I awoke pretty groggy. Climbed out of the trunk, took a quick leak onto sun-bleached desert hardpan, and peered into the car. Sunbeam was nowhere to be found. Half of her sub costume, torn to shreds, was spread all over the back seat. I looked at Dean and saw that his stomach was incredibly distended. Like 12 months pregnant distended.

I shook him awake.

“What did you do? Where’s Sunbeam?”

Dean rubbed his eyes, spit out the window, and asked “Who’s Sunbeam? Man, am I stuffed.”

“Sunbeam is the chick we picked up past night. I think you ate her!” I was starting to panic. This was worse than the kid and the mayonnaise.

“What are you talking about? I don’t remember any chick. All I remember is tripping balls and eating a giant sub that just wouldn’t stop.”

“That was Sunbeam! You ate Sunbeam! You ate an entire chick!” (long brown hair, sports bra, Grateful Dead T-shirt, hold the undies, blue jeans, huarache sandals, giant foam rubber sub costume, peyote).

Just then, Sunbeam sauntered over from behind an ocotillo bush, hitching up her pants and calling out: “Greetings my brothers! I have completed my morning ritual and returned my essence to Mother Earth, as it has been for all generations since Eve trod in the Garden.” She paused and looked at us: “I’m not even going to ask about the sub costume. If you can front a girl breakfast and lunch, we can call it even.”

Dean looked at me and asked who was she and what the hell was she talking about. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and I told him: “Her name is Sunbeam and I think she just took a piss.” Dean nodded, turned on the radio - “Sweet and Dandy” by Toots and the Maytals. I climbed into the back seat, got cozy with Sunbeam, and we were off.

And there we were, two heteronormative men and a lost flower child of yet undisclosed sexuality, burning a sweet black line of rubber to match the white centerline of the road. We had no idea where our next sub would come from, but we knew it was out there somewhere, waiting.

I’m not even going to tell you what the foam rubber sub did to Dean’s digestion.

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