#mordred my beloved son you did your best | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

emrysarthurpendragon · 4 years

Text

Don’t say goodbye

They grew old together. Or most likely, Freya looked older while Merlin was still the same. Even with his use of tricks, people couldn’t miss how younger he looked beside his wife and, of course, people were gossiping. Oh, look at that young fellow, escorting his mum to the dance. Oh, another diamond’s digger, he wants the poor lady’s gold. Merlin loved her all the same, even when Freya started feeling self-conscious. Tonight was a big event and Merlin would not let people interfere with their happiness. They had been married for thirty years, together since they met during the war, no one would be allowed to spoil them from their happiness.

“C’mon, love. The taxi’s waiting,” he said, wrapping his arms around Freya and claiming another kiss from her. She laughed but did not seem content. “What is it?” Merlin asked, feeling worried.

“I don’t feel like going out … all these people, they’ll think you’re a…”

“A man deeply in love with his wonderful, beautiful and so amazing wife? Then, they’ll be right. If they have nothing better to do, like paying attention to their company, it’s not our problem to worry about.” Merlin said, as he caressed Freya’s cheek, she leaned to the touch and nodded. “You want to go?” Merlin still questioned, as he never forced the woman to anything. Not now, not ever.

“I’ll do anything with you, you know it.”

“And so do I, I’ll even die for you,” he joked.

“Not that you actually can,” Freya teased him back and they both shared a laugh, cut short by a man’s voice. Their son, Gaius, who turned thirty a few weeks ago.

“Mum, dad, just go! I know the night is long but…”

“But that girlfriend of yours is waiting in her car, and you really need us to go so she can come in?” Merlin said, earning a horrified glance from their blushing son, and an amused giggle from Freya. “What? You thought we did not notice your eagerness whenever we planned a night out?”

“Actually, Merlin love, I recall I was the one who told you,” Freya added, raising an eyebrow in a ‘don’t mess with me’ look.

‘Really?” Merlin pretended to doubt her words, but he smiled softly. “I guess you’re right. Still. Gaius, remember to act like a proper gentleman. Serve her food first, don’t kiss her without her consent and if she drinks more than a glass of wine, drive her home. Don’t let her take a cab, strange things are happening now, and we don’t want to risk her life.”

“Dad!” Gaius whined, sounding like the child he used to be.

“Oh and there are condoms in your bedside. Even if I do hope you are not a horny creature and can wait until after your wedding.”

“PAPA!” Gaius now screamed, his face a deep shade of red as he hid it with his hands.

“Merlin, stop tormenting our boy,” Freya chastised her immortal husband. “He knows the rules and how to threat a woman.”

“We can’t remind him enough, can we?” Merlin wondered, “Ok. Ok. Let’s go. I’m sure the poor girl is freezing.”

Gaius visibly relaxed and hugged them both. In six months, he will be a doctor, like his parents. They never pressured him in such a carrier but when he had been old enough to understand his early life, Gaius had decided to help people, to save lives as a payment for the ones watching after him from above. Many died and he survived … for them, he will save humans without judgement or prejudice regarding whom they were, their religions or orientations. They were so proud of the man he became.

“I love you,” he whispered and the ushered them to the door.

“We love you too,” they both said, waving as they headed to their car. Still, Merlin couldn’t help but make a quick detour to a vehicle parked close to theirs. He knocked at the window and chuckled when the woman inside literally jumped on her sit. Thanks to some make up and fake white hair, Merlin looked close to his wife age – or not as young as he was – so she probably never questioned what he told her. Or it was because she flustered and wished to vanish. “Good night, Milady. Gaius is all yours until midnight, you’ll see, he made his favourite recipe, learned from my dear Freya. Have fun!”

When he joined his wife in the car, she sent him a glare and after a minute, they both laughed.

“You had to scare the poor girl, aren’t you?”

“What do you want? We, immortals, had to take little pleasures when they are at reach. Plus, I’m sure she’s a future ‘Mrs Emrys’. I like her.”

Freya said nothing but she truly wished the best for their son. Of course, Gaius had no memories from their times in death camp, but he still had enough suffering for a life. Until now, his relationship never lasted long, mostly because their boy wanted to protect their secret but he deserved his happy life. Merlin even planned to vanish, if it helped Gaius. The boy always refused, claiming that one day, he will find the one. The one with whom sharing their darkest secret would be fine. He had been courting that woman for a couple of months now, they all hoped she would stay around and accompany Gaius on the long road of life.

At the restaurant, Merlin held a hand to Freya as he helped her sit on her chair, before placing himself facing her. Tensed at first, the older-looking woman soon forgot the stares and they laughed, shared stories from their past and all the happy times they had. Gaius’ first steps, in their apartments in London. The day she graduated from nurses’ school, with the photograph still in their living room as a testimony that, even if you travelled trouble waters, happiness was waiting for you at the corner. Their wedding day, with so many people they couldn’t even count. Mordred had been there for a couple of years, but he vanished after their son’s fifth birthday. People who went to Dachau too, and were now like family. People who – Freya learned it that day, as Merlin never took credits for his good deeds – the man helped hide. Entire families were still alive because Merlin existed. As they talked about it, Merlin blushed again and waved it off, claiming he just did what numerous people managed to do in that time.

“Maybe, but you’re the only one with a legend attaches to him,” Freya said, taking his cold hand in her warmer one. “Children and grandchildren know the story of an un-aging angel sent to protect us. A man without weapons, asking for peace instead of violence. The one who found a baby and raised him as his own son.”

“I’m no angel. I killed people too, when I had to.”

“And? Angels are warriors too. They have flaming swords and all kinds of weapons. Merlin, you are their saviour, our hero. You deserve this. Don’t you see their smiles whenever we visit them? You think they believe you, when you tell them you’re just a parent with their Merlin?”

“Why not?” Merlin asked, nervously playing with his food. He felt like he did not fit the part. He failed at saving so many friends … but the one death he felt the most ashamed of, he could not even remember it. Even in his nightmares, the scene vanished the moment he opened his eyes.

“They love you, that’s all I wanted to say,” Freya spoke and they continued their dinner. For dessert, they ordered something simple, chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream, as it held found memories for them. When they first moved back here together, they went to a park and shared an ice cream. The same night, Merlin made a cake for his beloved and surprised her when, as time passed, he surprised her when he cooked dinner for the family most of the time. With her school, Merlin had known how tired she had been and spared her the charge of a house. More than once, he had laughed at what her spouse’s friends told her. They often asked if they could borrow hum to teach their husbands; every single time, Freya told them her better half was not for sale. “You think Gaius will kiss her tonight?” Freya asked after a while.

“If he doesn’t, I kick him from the house. It’s been what … eight months? We never waited that long!”

“We met in different circumstances. Things go faster during a war. And if I’m correct, you were still a virgin when we met … how old were you then? A thousand and four hundred years old? More or less? Gaius’s still in time.”

“Very funny.” Merlin muttered. He knew he should not have told her about this. Of course, she would use it against him in moments like these.

“And you were so cute the first time, so clumsy! I still remember you falling off the bed!”

“Shh, Freya please!” Merlin squealed, remembering all too well what happened that night. They were on the boat taking them to their honeymoon in Spain, alone, without Gaius for the first time in months – Mordred had babysat him – and Merlin wanted the night to be special for them. Before their union, he had studied many books and asked some friend about what he should know for his first time with Freya, and at all in fact. Mordred, for instance, had watched him with wide eyes before he broke with laughers but then share some insightful knowledge with him. Some colleagues helped him too and told him to relax. Still, when the night came he worried he may hurt Freya and after load of cuddling, when he rolled on top of his beautiful wife, he went too far and fell on the floor. The young maid had laughed for a good fifteen minutes, with a pouting – naked – Merlin on the pavement. “I wish I could forget that night…” he mumbled, the shame still burning his soul.

“I held found memories from then. I loved you even more, knowing it happened because you cared. Most men, even now but more in our time, would have thought of their pleasure, not mine. I’m lucky I met you.”

“I still think it happened because we were on a boat, and the roll made me lose my balance.”

“If you think so, my love … if you say so…” Freya chuckled.

The night went smoothly. After dinner, they head to a dance’s event and twirled together, eyes into eyes, until they couldn’t notice the people around them. Nothing existed beside the two and their radiating love. In that moment, Freya felt like the young bride again and Merlin saw the way she smiled, the sparkles in her eyes. She was so perfect, like a diamond he had been lucky enough to hold all these years. Around noon, the placed closed and they stopped dancing. Like Cinderella, their time had expired and they had to go home.

“I wish that night never ends…” whispered Freya. “Take me to the Lake, please?” there was a feeling of urgency in her voice, Merlin noticed, but he said nothing and drove to the peaceful place. The first time they came as a family, Merlin noticed something in Freya’s stance and look. When he asked what the matter was, she said nothing, staring at the calm water. Still, they started coming each week as a ritual. Tonight though, something felt wrong. When they reached their usual spot, Freya turned around and took his hand. Her eyes shimmered in the moon light and the older man worried.

“Freya? What’s wrong?”

“You don’t remember, do you?” she asked, “The first time we came here together?”

“Of course, I do! We were with Gaius and…”

“No. The first time, we were alone. Together. We ran in hope of a new life, with a lake and mountains surrounding us. We wanted a new place, where people like us were not hunted down for what they were…” she whispered, silently begging him to remember. But remember what? “You erased your own memories in the fifth, early sixth century, after Arthur died. Long after I died too, and you sent us all here, in Avalon, as we waited to meet again.”

“What…? No. So what? You think I’m like… Merlin as in Merlin and King Arthur? It’s crazy. I lose my memories because a building fell on me. Magic never existed!” Merlin said, a bubble of anguish forming in his chest. If it were true, why was he so scared? Why did he always feel hollow near the lake? Like he was mourning someone? No. Legends. King Arthur and Camelot belonged to myths. “Why are you doing this? Why tonight?” he begged, his head starting to hurt as something tried to pierce through his skull.

“The Goddess think it’s time for you to realise what you’ve lost. She sent me back to this world, she made us meet again and … oh how much I love you. Time never altered our feelings. But you need to stop. You need to bring back magic and Camelot. Just look, we are all coming back. Mordred. Me. Gaius. The others will be born again soon … please. I’m begging you…”

Merlin watched her with eyes filled with pain and worry. Images started playing, submerging him like a wave contained for too long. His boy tensed. Freya, loving Freya, knelt beside him and gently patted his back.

“Let them come, my love…” she soothed with kind words. “Let them come and guide you to the Source…”

The Source. Source of all magic. Arthur. Death. NO!

Merlin’s mind shut all the memories. He locked them even more behind his walls. Confused, Merlin looked up from where he fell, with Freya watching him closely.

“Excuse me. What were we saying?” he asked, the conversation forgotten with everything related to his first life.

“I told you that place seems magical. I’m sure there are fairies hidden somewhere,” Freya said, knowing pushing her husband more was useless. Merlin did not want to remember. Even after all that time, his soul still had not healed from Arthur’s death. The wound was too deep, and never healed properly since the warlock refused to face the memories, good or not. “Hold me close for now…” she wanted to enjoy every moment, as the clock ticked to the end of their story. She had planned everything … ever since she feared she won’t be enough to make the warlock remember. When they came home that night, Freya watched Merlin’s peaceful sleep for hours. At three in the morning, she stood and got dress. At three thirty, she placed a letter on the fireplace, under the family’s portray. At three forty-five, she closed the door and never came back.

* * *

The morning after, Merlin opened his eyes to an empty place beside him. It surprised him, since Freya had always enjoyed extra sleep but he yawned and headed to the kitchen, where he found Gaius with a coffee in front of him, and a smile on his face. His date probably went well, and the proud father decided not to mess with his boy today.

“Have you seen your mother?” he asked after he swallowed his toast.

“No. Wasn’t she with you?” Gaius worried. “She’s probably in town; let’s look for a note,” he offered and they started searching for something. Merlin was in his office when Gaius knocked at the door. He looked pale, a letter in hand, and gave it to him. Thinking of it, Gaius seemed like the epitome of an abandoned child. Quickly, Merlin read the words and his world fell apart.

My love,

I can’t tell you how sorry I am for leaving you like this. My years with you were among the happiest I ever had and for that, I will always be thankful. When we met for the first time, I was scared, I felt like I was a beast, cursed for something I never asked for. Cursed for being me, a victim of the system. With you, I saw the light field from the sky and … and I knew I deserved to be happy. I’m proud to say I had been your wife in this life, and I know that one day, you’ll find the missing piece fulfilling your heart.

Long ago, you told me you were immortal and I never questioned this. I didn’t because of reasons I can’t share at the moment… I also know you don’t mind people and their gossips, but no matter what, I’m freeing you, Merlin. Please, take care of Gaius and don’t waste your time looking for me. I love you. I love you so much there are no words strong enough to describe it. I hope that one day, you will remember your past and embrace it with open arms. I love you, my dear boys, remember me. ▬ Freya, mum.

“Gaius, take your coat, she can’t be far!” Merlin ordered, already putting a jacket on. Her son complied and they both hurried outside. They asked the neighbourhood, the policemen touring their district, the milk’s deliveryman. No one had seen or heard of Freya.

“Dad, what about the lake?” Gaius said. They were at a café, after hours searching the town. Merlin’s head snapped up. How could he forget the lake? They went there just the previous day. Both men ran toward their place.

“Freya!”

“Mum!”

“Freya can you hear me?!”

“Mum, please come back!”

They circled the lake together. Gaius one side, Merlin the others. Nothing. Not even a misplaced item to lead them. They almost wished they found something, even if it meant the beloved woman had drowned under water. Days turned into weeks. Weeks into months. Enough time passed to see Gaius introducing young Alice to his dad. A lovely lass with brown hair and chocolate’s eyes. It turned out she was one of these people, who loved mysteries and legends and when they told her about Merlin’s secret, she accepted him without questions. Afterwards, she asked a lot of them, obviously, but never when Merlin was in a bad day. Those happened each year, when it had been another 365 days without his Freya. He just gazed into emptiness for hours, not even acknowledging his family. But today, Alice had no choice but disturb the man. Gently, she placed her hand on his shoulder and pulled him from his dark thoughts.

“Merlin? A word, please,” she asked, they sat with Gaius on the couch, while he remained glued to his chair.

“Dad, we have good news,” Gaius said, beaming with pure happiness. “We are expecting a baby, a girl. Alice is pregnant!”

This brings the first real smile Merlin had in years. Laughing, he stood and held his son and Alice, the daughter he never had. “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you! When are you due, dear?”

“July, the 15th. We are so excited!”

“You already have names?” Merlin asked, curious now.

“Actually, yes,” Gaius said, still smiling and holding his wife’s hand. The two were so in love, it warmed the hearts.

“Hunith, and Freya for second.”

“Oh…” Merlin whispered. He could not say more, his emotions were overwhelming. A mix of happy and sad fighting inside him. “I… I love it.”

Months later, when he met his granddaughter, Merlin loved her right away. Freya left without a proper goodbye but now, there was this new life he welcomed with an open heart. His wife had been right, when she said happiness will always find her way to their lives.

“Hello Hunith, I’m your grandpa…” he whispered, the first time he held her. For a curious reason, he felt like laughing when he said these words. As if there was some sort of inside jokes happening. “I will always love and protect you.”

I’m so glad we meet again. I missed you, so much. I won’t abandon you this time. Please forgive me. Are the others coming too?

Unknowingly to Merlin, something in his soul clicked; something awoke when his subconscious realised his loved one were coming back to him. That day, Merlin started aging again.

#whumptober2020 #no.8 #don't say goodbye #abandoned #merlinbbc #merlin bbc #fic #sfw

7 notes · View notes

worldsendroleplay · 3 years

Text

Friday, January 1st, 2021

Greetings, dear reader.

Some of you may have noticed my absence, but I have been hard at work. Either way, my comings and goings are none of your business. If you were to make a report of my work this past month, it would be longer than every past one of yours combined. I hope you all enjoy your holiday gifts. They were all chosen with great care and it took great effort to acquire some of them.

It seems your present to me was enough material for a longer report. I commend you for not being boring in my absence and while I know I should not criticize a gift, it would have been far better if you’d gifted me content for the entire year. Whatever; there’s always my birthday.

Many people have come and gone since we last spoke, too many for me to keep track of, but I regret to inform you that among the people that have left the world was Alastor, the Radio Demon. Where am I supposed to get my entertainment from now that all the world’s resident killers are gone? Unless Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, or James Potter make good on their threats to kill Peter Pettigrew, I suppose that I will have to watch and listen to your silly conversations and arguments instead.

There were a few Thanksgiving get-togethers, though not as many as for the next big holiday that we will cover. Bucky Barnes invited his sister Rebecca Barnes and her boyfriend, Hugo Granger-Weasley, to spend Thanksgiving with himself, his son Leonard “Leo” Barnes, and his girlfriend Angie Martinelli. They had to explain the holiday to Madge Undersee, who grew up in a world where there was no Thanksgiving and for whom a cornucopia was used for more than just food.

Christmas has arrived for the inhabitants of Worlds’ End, and many people have celebrated it in their own ways. I’d tell you about my holiday plans, but I doubt you would approve. Merlin and Morgana, on the other hand, hosted a lunch and dinner for their friends and family and spent the next day sleeping it off. Malachai Atherton explained Christmas to his girlfriend Ty Lee, who had never heard of the holiday but received a present from her boyfriend; she gave him one in return despite not knowing of the holiday, as she was aware this time of year was special somehow.

But not everyone has had a happy holiday. Regulus Black discovered that his daughter, Lyra, had joined one of the many happy ghost-like people living in the portal version of his beloved Hogwarts. I must say, that is a terrible idea of a Christmas gift on someone’s part. I do happily encourage murder, but even I must draw the line somewhere. Sirius Black, after being told by his brother that Lyra had left the world, assumed that either Peter Pettigrew or Narcissa Malfoy were involved as they were aligned with a certain Dark Lord back home. Sirius then grew infuriated at the idea of Narcissa being Lyra’s godmother, and things blew up between the two brothers when he accused Regulus of never changing his ways. Pardon my language, but what an asshole.

For un-holiday-related conversations, look no further than Aviana Pendragon. We have watched her grow up, but it wasn’t that long ago when her younger brother Gaven Pendragon was born. Avi has since felt like her family wants her to be just like her brother, though hopefully a few conversations with her parents and uncle would have made her feel better. If she is reading this, or if anyone needs to hear this—it is always okay to be yourself, whether you are rash and arrogant, quiet and sweet, or just a plain murderer. For example, I know I can be bold and that it can be intimidating to speak with me. I still do not shy away from this.

Meanwhile, there have been quite a few confessions made since people have only been able to speak the truth, both for the better and for the worse. For example, Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste had a fight over a certain little secret (that I know and you don’t), but things have been cleared up between the two now and they are still happily in love. Sir Leon learned a little something about his good friend Sir Gwaine, but they did not fight at all and instead laughed it off. Compared to Marinette and Adrien, it was a rather boring conversation, but it was a conversation a long time coming. Then there was a conversation between Mordred and Merlin about a certain destiny and a certain set of fake memories, but that is all in the past. Now it is time to look to the future, and I can’t wait to see what will happen next. Even if the past did bring along enough drama to warrant several stab wounds.

And where there are confessions, there are also actions. Gorlois has been training the Druid Kara in how to fight and then extended his offer to Callan. After a few days of consideration, she decided to take the former knight up on his offer, and she joined the two in the gym. An anger-prone Druid, a feisty orphan, and a Knight who has renounced his knighthood… What can go wrong? For my sake, I hope several things do.

It has been weeks since his birth, but it is my honor and my duty to announce the arrival of young Micah Aspen Fisher Odair on Finnick Odair’s doorstep. While the victor was talking with his roommate, Rue Gardner, in the kitchen, they heard the soft cries of a baby outside. They brought the young boy inside, and Finnick has been raising him as his son since then. I cannot wait to write his mouthful of a name in future reports.

Finally, let’s move onto the exciting topic of relationships, whether they are familial, romantic, or platonic. Mariah Hunter and Daniel Jackson have been increasingly spending time together, be it watching movies, nursing small cuts on fingers, or preparing for dinners for the two of them to share. For now the two are just friends, but they are a pair to watch for anyone that knows them.

There is a new relationship in town for anyone who cares to read about it. Lu Ten may have been thinking about his feelings for Reagan Reyes for a while now, but staying silent about them was no longer possible. With the truth now being his only option, Lu Ten had no other choice but to say something, which may have been prompted by her painting of him. Thankfully, she reciprocated his feelings, and the two lovebirds kissed and decided to begin a relationship with each other. Now, let us just hope that their families approve. Since Lu Ten’s current family in the world consists of a single firebending cousin who is never happy, they should be fine.

On the topic of budding relationships, young Gaven Pendragon extended the hand of friendship to Kara, someone who has in the past tried to kill his father Arthur Pendragon as well as all the knights that he calls uncles. Of course, Gaven doesn’t know about that, and he likes seeing the best in everyone. I will address Gaven now as I did Aviana earlier—if you are reading this, perhaps it may be best to ask your parents about it. Or better yet, send in a question to me!

Gaven may not be the only tether between the two sides, though. Mordred and Kara, since their (seemingly inevitable) break up, have discussed the possibility of getting back together. As of the writing of this report, nothing has happened yet.

What is more certain is that Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala have gotten back together. Things had grown complicated between them both since she knew what her secret husband had done and what he would come to do, but they’d never stopped loving each other. It was—is—Padmé’s hope that they can find a way to move past whatever he will do in the future and perhaps stop it from ever happening at all. In a heartfelt moment, she exchanged wedding rings with him after not being able to wear them at home. It’s unlikely that change in course of action will happen, but it’s fun to watch everyone try to stop the inevitable, especially in a world like this where you already know what will happen.

Something else we already know for sure is that Jet has moved on from only telling lies to only telling the truth, which made Katara feel uncertain now that she knows that the lying buffer is gone. However, she has still chosen to be with him, and has expressed her happiness to Zuko, who is still happily in love with his girlfriend from the Earth Kingdom, Jin. What made the firebender less happy was the constant ice and snow outside, but maybe he’ll cheer up in the future. Hopefully, he got a winter coat for Christmas.

If you are Mercury Black and Emerald Sustrai, it may be a bit hard to be cheery right now. They had to deal with a question of trust once again when Mercury went to wish his Semblance back from the genies of the Genies’ Cave. Back home, this had been stolen by his father to ‘make him stronger’. Emerald insisted on joining him in the caves so that he didn’t get himself killed, and the wish was made. If he had gotten killed, it would have made for such an interesting story. I do love a good death. There was no death, though, leaving us to see what happens in the aftermath of this wish. I hope it’s something exciting.

For the sake of my future reports, I hope the coming year is full of excitement for you.