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deanwinchesterswitch · 1 year

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Livin' a Lie

Summary: Dean thinks he’s doing the right thing, believes it’s for the best. Still, he struggles to let go, even when he overhears that you’ve moved on with someone new.

Pairing: Dean x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Angst; Some fluff; Dean being Dean; Language; Mentions of smut; Canon divergence.

Betas: @princessmisery666 and @wayward-and-worn

Word Count: 2,318

Pulling out of Jody’s hug, Dean’s eyes scan the room.

“She’s not coming,” Jody says, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“I wasn’t-” The mom look she gives him cuts him off. She knows. “Yeah, okay. Whatever.”

The monthly get-togethers had started a while back at Jody’s insistence. He and Sam hadn’t been able to make it last month, and he was hoping… Well, he doesn’t know what he was hoping for, not sure if the flood of emotion is unmitigated relief or agonizing disappointment.

“How are you?”

“Good. I’m good,” he lies. He’s so far from good he doesn’t even know how to explain it. “You?”

Jody lets the lie slide this time. “The girls haven’t killed each other yet, and no one is pregnant. So, I’m taking the win.” Patting him on the arm, she steps around him to hug Sam.

“Who’s manning the grill?” It’s a safe enough subject. Or so he thought.

“Garth.” Jody chuckles.

“Oh, hell no! I like some pink, but I don’t want my meat still mooing.” He takes off in the direction of the backyard to save their meal.

A couple of hours later, everyone sated with good food and the alcohol of their choice for those old enough; the group lounges around the fire pit, making s'mores, sharing stories, and enjoying each other’s company.

Dean excuses himself to take a leak. Returning from the bathroom, he heads toward the kitchen to sneak another slice of pie but stops short upon hearing Alex.

“Dean looks hap- well… like he’s doing okay. You think it’s just a cover?”

“Hard to tell. He went home with some waitress a couple of weeks back.” Sam overshares, and Dean can visualize the disapproving bitch face and condescending roll of his eyes.

“Really?” Donna tosses out. “He back to his old habits? Or, ah y’ know, just trying to drown his sorrows ‘cause he still loves her?”

Of course, I still love her! Do they honestly think I could ever stop?

“Honestly, I don’t think he ever stopped. He probably loves her more than ever. Even if he refuses to talk about it.”

That’s because it’s none of your goddamn business, little brother. Sharing my feelings like we’re in some chick flick ain’t gonna change anything.

There is no way in hell he will ever tell Sam that all he did was drop the waitress off at her home—walked her to the door, waited until she was safely inside, then left. Instead of going back to the motel to put up with more of Sam’s whiny nagging, he’d parked on an old dirt track and spent the night in Baby, dreaming about her, trying to recapture even the tiniest scrap of happiness.

“Have you talked to her?” Sam asks.

Oh shit, what if it gets back to her about the waitress?

He hadn’t given any thought to it becoming a rumor that might make its way back to her.

Sam and his stupid big mouth.

Flirting with that woman had been a means to an end, an old habit resurfacing to disguise his misery and to stop Sam’s perpetual insistence to call and make things right or let go and move on.

Dean refuses to call. The threat is even bigger than before. There’s no moving on, either. The memories that haunt him are no longer of his time in the pit but of the hell of losing her. Every time he closes his eyes, she’s there—the warmth of her body, her sweet scent, the whisper of her voice, the taste of her lips. All of it was a reminder of what a thickheaded fool he was to push her away... to hurt her the way he did.

“Yeah. She’s moving next week. Cooper asked her to-”

Throat closing around a lump of guilt and pain, he stumbles forward—guilt for treating her the way he did and pain for the finality of knowing that he will never be able to call her ‘mine’ again.

He needs air, the open road.

Striding toward the front door, he hollers over his shoulder to no one in particular that he’ll be back later. Not waiting for a response, he’s outside and backing out of the driveway in a matter of seconds, speeding toward the clearing by the lake a few miles away. The sound of Baby’s engine helps to ease muscles held tight with tension and soothe the anger raging in his soul.

She’d shared what she had dubbed Stargazer’s Loch with him a few years back. He’d shown up at Jody’s after a bad hunt, and she’d been there recovering from a hunting injury of her own. She’d brought him out here, told him it was her sanctuary, a place of peace and inspiration. It was the night he’d admitted to himself that he was falling in love with her.

They’d run into each other several times before, worked a few cases together, and had fun hanging out, playing darts, or hustling drunk locals out of their hard-earned cash at pool, but he’d never ‘gone for it’ with her. Something about her was different. He felt different around her. He had never wanted her to be just another notch on his bedpost. It had taken him a while, but at this lake, is where he first told her he was in love with her.

Not until he’s lying on the hood, back against the windshield and staring at the stars, does he let his mind wander and the tears fall. The months had dragged on, but with years of experience under his belt, he shoved down the regret and loneliness, locking it away with all the other crap. He can put on a good show for others with a smile plastered on his face and a nonchalant attitude. Yet, there are still times, usually when he is relaxed, guard down, like tonight, they rise to the surface like a tidal wave.

He’d heard things about her in passing from other hunters—She looked happy. Saw her in Chicago outside a museum, dressed for some fancy event… Colorado… New York… California—but nothing about another guy. She’s obviously traveling a lot, but no one seems to know what she’s doing. He knows she’s not hunting, though. Anyone who had spoken with her said she wouldn’t assist with anything beyond what she knew of the lore. Said that she’d told them, ‘I’m not a hunter.’ His harsh accusation echoed back to him.

How could he have said that to her? She was a great hunter—an exquisite balance of book and street smarts, keen instinct, skill, and heart. He’s glad she’s not hunting, though. She’s safer and seemingly happier. It’s what he wanted for her. She’s better off without him. He just wishes his heart had gotten the message.

Absentmindedly reaching for a hand that’s no longer there, finding only cold metal, his chest seizes, and he chokes on a sob. Fuck, he misses her. Of all the idiotic things he’s done over the years, forcing her away ranks the highest. He wishes he could tell her that it was all a lie. He figures she knows. He simply had given her no choice.

Folding his hands on his stomach, he does nothing to curb the surge of tears streaming from his eyes. There’s no reason to repair the dam with no one around to suffer the flood. So he lets the groundswell of memories wash over him.

“The porch?” Delicate fingers traced along his temple, curling behind his ear, thumb strumming over his cheekbone.

“Wrap-around,” a quick peck to her palm, “a porch swing facing a lake so we can watch the thunderstorms in the spring and the leaves change in the fall. Rocking chairs for when we get old.”

She laughed. “You? Sitting in a rocking chair? Doing nothing? I don’t care how old you are. I don’t buy it.”

“As long as you’re next to me, I can do anything.”

It had become a post-bad hunt ritual. They would lie in bed, the back of the Impala, or, weather permitting, beneath the stars, usually naked but always wrapped in each other’s arms, and talk about where they would live, the home he would build for her when they got out. A way to escape the current reality of their life. The thin thread of hope they clung to while holding tight to each other.

“In the mountains, away from everyone. In the winter, we’ll hole up and hibernate like bears. In the summer, we’ll go skinny dipping in the lake.”

Soft lips, breath moist and hot against his ear. “With no one else around, we could stay naked all the time.”

“I like how you think.” He’d taken her then, on top of the old fleece in the middle of a field lit only by firefly glow and a sky pin holed by stars. Gentle and slow, teasing out moans and getting drunk on every whimper and sigh she surrendered to him.

He’d had the perfect property in mind, Rufus’ old safe house in Montana. They could fix it-it up exactly how they wanted. He’d never mentioned it, though, before everything fell apart. He’d wanted to surprise her, check into actually purchasing it, and start renovations.

Hell, he’d even fantasized about proposing, down on one knee in front of the refurbished home when he told her to remove the blindfold. But with each new hunt, the threat grew bigger and badder, the burden to save innocent lives grew exponentially, and the struggle to keep those he cared about safe and alive became an almost impossible endeavor. So he pushed—shoved—her out of his life and away from danger.

“I want you to leave.”

“Fine. I’ll sleep in my old room tonight.”

“No. I want you to pack your things and get out of the bunker. I’m tired of having to rescue you. I’ve got enough on my plate without having to try and keep you from getting yourself killed all the time.”

“Rescue me?! You didn’t rescue me. I killed that bitch before you even got to me. You’re being an asshole! How-” She’d cut herself off, tilted her head, and huffed, “huh.” Eyes narrowed, she’d clicked her tongue. “I get it. I know what you’re doing, and I’m not leaving. You’re scared. Afraid that something will happen to me. You can’t make me hate you.”

“Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea what I can make you do. Hate me or not, it doesn’t matter,” he shrugged, “I don’t want you here. You’re not a hunter. You’re a liability.”

The forceful harshness he put behind the words, the way he had sarcastically called her sweetheart, drawing himself up to tower over her, had made her stumble in shock, gripping the desk for support as she bumped into it.

He’ll never be able to dislodge the memory of utter devastation drenched in sorrow—exhale of disbelief, trembling bottom lip, the twitch of her eye as tears gathered on her lashes—right before it was all hidden behind a stoic mask. Once she had steeled herself against his acerbity, she didn’t plead or yell, didn’t try to change his mind with honey-drenched words or soft touches. No harsh discourse left her lips.

The calm acceptance she’d radiated had been unexpected, and a shiver caressed his spine. He’d felt relief and disappointment within the same heartbeat. He’d wanted her to be angry, curse the day she met him and walk out to never look back, but she hadn’t.

After the initial pause, he’d understood what she was doing. She had always tried to ease his burdens whenever possible, and even then, when her heart was most likely as broken and battered as his, she had still wanted to make it less difficult for him. It hadn’t lessened any of the pain.

“I love you.”

That was it. Nothing else. Stared him dead in the eye, standing tall and creating an imposing figure of her own. Three words, filled with so much promise and hope, nearly broke his resolve.

Instead, he spat, “Yeah, well, sucks to be you,” and walked out of the room without a backward glance.

Two steps into the hallway, the sensation of his heart being ripped from his chest made him stumble and press a hand against the cold tile to stay upright. Unlike in hell, there was a finality to it. There would be no rejuvenation. He wouldn’t wake up the following day and be whole again; he’d be left with a void in his chest for the rest of his days.

It nearly had him turning around to fall on his knees in front of her, beg for forgiveness, and plead with her never to leave him.

He reminded himself why he was doing this. He couldn’t keep her safe. The target on her back would only continue to grow the longer she stayed with him. The next step was painful, forced, but with each subsequent footfall, his pace quickened until he sprinted through the garage and spun Baby’s tires as he hauled ass away from the bunker… from her… from the self-inflicted misery.

Even though he’d driven for hours, returning just before sunrise, he’d yearned to find her still there, waiting—her anger, her stubbornness, her love, refusing to let her leave. He’d suffer anything she threw at him, every angry word, every slap, kick, or punch hurled, just to see her.

As soon as the Impala’s front tires had hit the concrete, brutal misery encompassed him. The space where she’d kept her truck was empty, as hollow as his chest.

He’d sat in the car for a long time cycling through the stages of grief, never reaching the final one. He has to accept it now, though, right? She’s moving in with some guy. A guy that’s not him.

He waited too long. Too afraid, too ashamed to contact her.

Part Two

Love Me Some Pie tag list:

@akshi8278 // @asgoodasdancingqueen // @calaofnoldor // @compresshischest09 // @deans-baby-momma // @deaneverafter // @deans-spinster-witch // @deanwanddamons // @flamencodiva // @idreamofplaid // @jerkbitchidjitassbutt // @justagirlinafandomworld // @justrealizedimmascifygurl // @ladysparkles78 // @lyarr24 // @michellethetvaddict // @mrswhozeewhatsis // @mvdeanw // @princessmisery666 // @shawnie74 // @thinkinghardhardlythinking // @thoughts-and-funnies // @waynes-multiverse // @wayward-and-worn // @waywardbaby // @weepingwillowphoenix

#livin' a lie #rumors-part one #dean winchester x fem!reader #dw's witch writes #031023

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bentosandbox · 1 year

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It’s actually not a ‘top/most butch AK woman’ poll ...kinda

sorry at first i just wanted to archive some of my favourite comments (even though most of these should be edited copypastas) from that poll on weibo; explanation for title at bottom of post because i got carried away as usual

Those who don’t vote for Gladiia, Aegir will spit on them, Laurentina will drag them from Rhodes into the deep sea, their descendants will be abandoned by Skadi, and their soul will suffer from Nervous Impairment. But for those who vote for Gladiia, even if they didn’t pull any Abyssal Hunters, the Second Captain will forgive them and unclog the toilets on Rhodes Island, Fate will offer them an extra favour, and Revelations will always be by their side¹🙏 To those who don’t get how Gladiia is a 1² , farewell!

Vote for Gladiia! (Crawling in the dark)(Screaming)(Twisting)(Creeping in the shadows)(Screeching)(Writhing)(Screaming)(Crawling)(Tumbling)(Scrambling)(Splitting)(Hissing)(Stops moving)(Low roar)(Squirming)(Dividing)(Walking onto shore)(Warping)(Spasming)(Floundering)(Attacking indiscriminately)

Are you looking for【Margaret Nearl】⁉️ The Radiant Knight🌞？Or (this) golden pegasus🐎？Or perhaps Kazimierz’s most radiant King of Kings💜 🎐No matter which one you are searching for💐 💦 Whether you are just a passer-by or a fan of Margaret Nearl💖 She is Terra’s fiercest T³🥰Rhodes Island’s no.1 Top🏅Her strength and Blazing Sun side-by-side 🎀 Today(’s forecast) will be Sunny with a star falling🌟Please give a vote to Margaret Nearl💑 ！！！

Margaret Nearl, my groom, my husband, my betrothed, my Husbando, the source of all my desires, my yearning, my dreams, my lover whom I will never part away from, to not cast a vote for Margaret Nearl would be kind of sad, for it means you cannot appreciate this kind of combination of hard and soft with eye-catching beauty, those who do not vote for Margaret Nearl will be in trouble 🙏

What does the cat say? Meow; What does the goat say? Baa; What does the cow say? Moo; What does the dog say? Saria you are the no.1 T on Rhodes 😆 Your impartial gaze makes me lose my mind 😆 So handsome I cry until my tears hit the corners of my mouth and turn into the Qiantang River’s tidal bore You are my god and my star lighting up the darkness in my life You let me make sense of the world I turn I jump I dance a tango on the balcony you made me realise that God does exist 😆

Saria is such a gentle and strong father whose love is like a mountain and yet a conventional woman should stand on top of all lesbians Husband without you I really don’t know how I can continue living

Hoshiguma (is) my 184cm T-sis forever!!!! Who would refuse a Lungmen civil servant!!! Firefighting on the Lungmen gay bar frontline⁴!!! Rides motorbikes and goes on joyrides everyday and drinks and grills(BBQ)!!! If she’s not a 1 then who is!!! If Hoshiguma isn’t a 1 then there’s none on the whole of Terra! If Hoshiguma isn’t a 1 the entire Terra is 0!!!! (licking screen emote x7)

The 194cm Hoshiguma from the closed beta test isnt enough to make you dizzy?? 😲😲😲😲😲

TL notes

1. IS3 mechanic references 2. basically 1 = top 0 = bottom (switch is 0.5) sorry the girlyaoi is real

3. Okay so the poll’s ‘judging criteria’ is actually 无敌炫酷铁T灭火器 which is something like ‘Unrivaled dazzling 铁T Fire Extinguisher’ “What is that word you didn’t translate” I hear you ask

Okay so... I don’t think translating 铁T to just ‘butch’ like that one twitter account did carries the whole meaning. (shout out to that one QRT that was something like ‘wtf y’all definition of butch is ???” YOU’RE RIGHT)

If you look up 铁T it gives you pretty much the same definition that looking up stone butch on wikipedia gives you; “so T is butch then?” WELL... the etymology of T comes from ‘Tomboy’ but ermm basically it’s not a rigid label that can be easily translated to western/globalised terms but more of a fluid identifier used very specifically in chinese spaces, this article is a pretty good read

So anyway that’s why I left the Ts as-is (FWIW when i first saw it i was like is that a no.1 handsomegirlbossmalewifehusbandwomanthattops contest???)

further reading material

4. what’s up with the firefighter/extinguisher???

It’s a reference to a really old clip from a Taiwanese variety show where the host was describing how he went to a gay bar and it caught on fire and the owner fled while the T from the T-bar opposite them picked up an extinguisher and offered help

tl;dr: 1)‘butch’ doesn’t really cover it

2) they’re not using the term in CN literally either (my take on a badly worded transliteration would be something like ‘who would be the ultimate handsome chivalrous top’ if you take off the first few layers of shitposting) that’s why none of them in the poll look like butches lol

And that’s why I voted Hoshiguma even though I don’t think she fucks/is a 1 but i also don’t think saria is a 1 either but that is for another day

#arknights #i should tag all these tl posts under something #bentotexto

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spacerockwriting · 5 months

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It's the end of the year, and I just wanna say that I'm incredibly thankful for finding Shamless and joining the Gallavich fandom. I made some super awesome new friends and joined a fic club which I love so so much!

I started writing again, like, real writing with chapter fics again and not just one shots and I'm so excited to be doing my first ever big bang with a beta and artist and everything.

So glad to have met the Moo Crue, and all my Gallfriends. To read fics and feel involved and cared for in a community and fandom. It makes me so happy to be involved with good people again <3

Some cool peeps who brought me joy this year: @wildxunchartedwaters @champofpallet @callivich @ian-galagher @mybrainismelted @transmickey @skylerwinchester @dynamic-power @stocious @energievie @juliakayyy @deathclassic and everyone else I forgot to tag or can't because tumblr :chompmickey:

Here's to a great year of snails and games and friends and fic!

Plans for the upcoming:

Green Day maybe both? I've got 2 shows i've got tickets for so maybe both.

Travel More. Back to Disney, go places.

Do the things with Micks.

finish the SBB and maybe do more fics.

And yes, use my tablet and do more art things more.

Tats???

Thank you gallafriends for this wonderful 2023 <3

#comet rambles

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beetleisblue · 9 months

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BLUE’S TOH TICKLE FIC MASTERLIST

———————————

DUN DUN DUUUN! ITS HERE! FIND ALL THE FLUFF IN ONE POST, PEOPLE!

(Everything here is STRICTLY sfw.)

——————————

Lee: Luz

Ler: Amity

Summary: Luz has a bad day at school in the Human Realm. Amity decides she’s in dire need of cheering up.

Lee: Amity

Ler: Luz

Summary: Timeskip Amity has tight calves and Luz massages them, giggles ensue.

Ler: Beta!Amity/Amelia

Lee: Amity

Summary: In a sibling Au, Amity goes to visit her big sister, Amelia, who’s been living on her own for a while. The two catch up for lost time, and Amelia gets her sister to lighten up.

Ler: Willow and Luz

Lee: Amity and Luz

Summary: a very sleep deprived willow convinces Luz and Amity to go to bed already!

Lee:Luz

Ler: Ghost and Amity

Summary: Ghost must decide if Luz is worthy of Amity’s kisses!

Lee: Luz

Ler: Amity

Summary: Luz and Amity play connect 4. Amity wins. Ticklish Chaos ensues.

Lee: Amity!

Ler: Luz

Summary: Amity overworks herself and gets into a grumpy mood, but her girlfriend knows what to do to get her out of her head >:]

MORE TO BE ADDED! (I also take requests, feel free to shoot me an ask!)

#the owl house tickle #sfw tickling community #the owl house #lumity #tickle fluff #lee!amity #amity blight #ler amity #luz noceda #amelia blight #sfw tickling

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the-horizon-lounge3041 · 9 months

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Wanted to draw Aloy as a highland cow, or Mooloy as I like to call her.

Bonus!

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thedeadestofdoves · 6 months

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❤🔞❤

🚨 Minors and Cishets DNI 🚨

CW: Detrans kink, hucow transformation, stockholm syndrome, hypnotism, dehumanization, and more - please read all the tags carefully before enjoying!

Zee’s Descent Into Lewidity

A Degrees of Lewidity Fanfiction

By: thedeadestofdoves (AO3), girlyboypuss (tumblr)

~~~

This has been a passion project of mine since I became obsessed with DOL a few months ago, I don't really have a lot of friends I can take to about this sort if thing, let alone a beta (sorry in advance), so please let me know if you enjoy it 💕

~~~

Part 1: Dreaming

(Words: 1221, Complete)

Zee had a hard time adjusting to life on Remy's farm, but not anymore...

~♡~

You think you remember a time when it didn’t feel so nice, when they had to use sharp metal cuffs and a ball gag to keep you quiet and still, a time when you used to cry and thrash, begging with your eyes for mercy.

But… that doesn’t sound right. Remy is so good to you. He doesn’t need to hurt you, you’re a good cow. He tells you so every day...

This is where you belong.

~~~

Part 2: Homesick

(Words: 2804, Complete)

Zee tries to move on from his time at the farm, with mixed results.

~♡~

“Welcome,” Robin chirps excitedly, “Two pounds for a warm mug of chocolate.”

“Sure, kid.” The burly man hands over the coins before turning to you. His smile grows, sprouting into a lecherous, crooked grin. “Oh, I remember you. From the farm.”

Your eyes widen, breath quickening. You remember him too.

~~~

Part 3: Freedom

(Words: 2762, Complete)

Zee manages to escape the farm… but he’s far from free.

~♡~

Harper takes a deep breath, “I want you to speak now. Do you remember who i am?”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “You- y’er the… doctor. My doctor, from… the farm. Made me better…”

“No, I am not the doctor you remember from the farm.” He smiles patiently, “You do not remember anything about the doctor who treated you at the farm.” Snap.

“I- I don’t-”

"No, you don’t remember that doctor. I am not that doctor. I am your new doctor.” Snap. “I am Doctor Harper and I work at the local hospital. This is the first time we are meeting.” Snap.

He waits a moment for the information to sink in before speaking again, “This is the first time we have met, but you still trust me. You feel safe with me, and you will always be honest with me.” Snap.

“I feel safe with you.” You stare at him, helpless to his hypnotic commands.

~~~

Part 4: The Beginning

(Words: 4256, Ch 2/?, Incomplete)

Zee was just trying to find his way in this fucked up town... Rent went up again and Bailey is haunting his every move, so he finds himself trusting the wrong people and gets trapped in a new hell- Remy's Underground Farm.

~♡~

Rows of caged cattle line the edge, eating cereal from deep troughs. It’s only as you’re pulled closer that you realize they aren’t cows, but people with cow ears and tails. They don’t speak or spare a second glance at the newcomer, their feeding only broken by the occasional moo.

A man with short, golden brown hair tends to them. He turns to face you as the group approaches, smiling and brandishing a whip in his gloved hand. His green eyes glimmer in the low, artificial light.

Distantly, you think he would be very handsome, if you weren’t so terrified.

#degrees of lewdity #degrees of lewidity fanfic #dol #dol fanfic #dol pc #remy the farmer #harper the doctor #robin the orphan #ftm detrans kink #detrans kink #♀️#🐄#🧠#🚫#my words #fic

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wewindondowntheroad · 2 years

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💎 Hard Times 💎 by the magnificent @mooifyourecows + beta Bri

I'm so happy to finally share my art! And please please go check out Moo's story it's *chef's kiss* fantastic

for this year's Daisuga Big Bang!

(Be sure to check out all the other amazing fics and art on twitter!)

#daisuga #sugawara koushi #sawamura daichi #daisugabigbang2022 #my art tage

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tokkiheart-writes · 7 months

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I Wanna Teach You How Forever Feels

Summary

In a universe where Oh Seung Moo’s famous thriller webtoon W is also an omegaverse story, his main character Kang Cheol is a Beta who is hiding the fact that he is by using scent blockers so as to appear like an alpha to the general public.

When the author’s daughter, Oh Yeon Joo, is pulled into his webtoon by Kang Chul to save him, she discovers gradual changes occurring to her the more she interacts with Kang Cheol and becomes the lead female.

————

In other words: An AU re-imagining of the show with A/B/O elements which results in a massive overhaul (honestly, the story may end up almost unrecognizable, who’s to say?)

I only have 14 followers on AO3 and 3 here on Tumblr and I’m probably going to lose them all because of this lol

Anyway, sorry for bringing this into creation, my brain wanted to write my first A/B/O fic and wanted to make one for W: Two Worlds.

Not that it had a choice, this is the only fandom I write for lol

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redrocketpanda · 2 months

Note

🥝Who are your literary influences, and have they shaped your own writing?

🥨How do you overcome writer's block?

🍕What's your favorite comment you've received on a fic?

🍔What's a headcanon that hasn't made it into a published fic yet?

🍹How do you decide a story is ready to post?

ahhhhhh thanks friend for the ask!!! <3 this is a wonderful array of questions

🥝Who are your literary influences, and have they shaped your own writing?

Ooh... this is such a cool question. I think published authors wise I would say Becky Chambers (for content and style), and Emma Newman (who I have been very lucky to have received some mentoring from). Emma's mentoring had a huge impact on my ability to actually write - as writing anxiety has been such a significant barrier to me. Fic wise, Moo has been a big influence. I adore their writing and they've been incredibly generous with their time + advice in a way which has really helped me develop as a writer. Their guidance has certainly changed the way I engage with media in a more analytical way and trying to break down why I like something so that I might try to incorporate it into my own writing! I constantly refer back to the advice they gave me.

🥨How do you overcome writer's block?

If it's writers block, as opposed to writing anxiety, then I have 2 approaches. Firstly, I try a range of methods to get things flowing again: bullet pointing ideas/phrases, laying down/going for a walk and letting my mind wander, listening to music or watching something, doodling or mind mapping. Usually those work, but if it's the blocks real bad then I back off and give myself space. At that point, the more I push, the worse the block will be, and I accept that it'll happen when/if it happens

🍕What's your favorite comment you've received on a fic?

ajklskjssjk I think it's the comment I got literally the other day! I adore all the comments I receive - big or small - and hold them very dear to my heart. I think this one has really stuck with me because a) it was such a surprise for the commenter to return 4 months after their initial short comment and b) it was such a beefy analysis of exactly why they liked my chapter and theorise what they thought was going on/might happen. I've never had someone develop theories about my stories before! It's deeply exciting

🍔What's a headcanon that hasn't made it into a published fic yet?

Ooh this is a fun one. I have a bunch of Kirishima/Bakugou hc's I've not written yet and was gonna throw them into Fire on the Horizon. The main ones being that as adults Kirishima levels up into Big Boy and Bakugou ends up staying little, and disabled Bakugou 🍹How do you decide a story is ready to post?

Honestly, I wing the fuck out of posting. Some of my beloved friends are the types of people who write up most/all of a story before they post anything. I get super impatient when I'm writing so if its a series I will publish as soon as the first chapter is ready. If it's a one-shot, I always write to an outline so its whenever I feel I have hit all the narrative beats, edited it, and had someone beta read it

#this was so funnnn #it's really nice to reflect on my writing tbh esp when I've been away from it for so long #fic writing #writing

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tervaneula · 11 months

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Okay guess who was late to read ch.12 of NQK?! This loser! So let me tell you what i thought so far;

On the summary part when i read " splinter request something from F!leo " i remembered the picture where you showed bald F!mikey & i thought " bro were you gonna request older leo to shave his older version of younger brother because you can't?! Lol "

Then we go to where F!mikey get his hair trimmed like the old weed in somebody's lawn xD i was confused " bro why?! You said yo hair is gonna grow back! " until i realized he's doing what any ex after a break-up; throw the old & welcome new furniture for a new, fresh start.

But honestly he does look like a twin of mikey - that and his head looks like a Boling ball - making me wonder how long it will take for him to grew back and who's gonna style it.

When we reach the part of summary i kid you NOT, i felt F!leo on a spiritual level, like when your parents call for you, I FELT THAT!! Splinter starts rambling about how it's his fault for pushing responsibilities of leader to little leo and i remembered how most fic(s) pointed that out - not that am saying they're wrong, i agree with them - and i couldn't help but think " yeah i don't know if this was on purpose from writers because it says leo and raph should co-leadering.

Wonder if the show were to have more seasons wonder if they'll be back on the main plan or just keep leo leading.

NQK F!leo - and yes i put NQK there, sue me other writers - accepted the challenge/mission impossible/request.

And god when splinter said " call me dad " i felt leo would cry immediately on the spot, like you didn't write it but you also didn't need to because my mind imagined almost 7 foot (?) old man in his 40s crying to 3 inches rat/j/lh 😂

But again i would advise giving this old man a huge tissue bag if he's gonna cry every 30 minutes.💙

I laughed when F!leo said to little him " C'mere " i was like " bro are you talking to a teenager or a street cat?! 😂 " Little leo backing away and call him on the leader thing because he 'felt it in his bones' was related on another spiritual level because if i saw my parents talk about me i'd dip with every excuse in the world to NOT talk!

Then he asks him to 'talk' and go to dojo & i thought " soooo you're gonna whoop his ass as a way to talk? " but no, they really REALLY talk, F!leo ask questions and my mind goes " okay old man with babygirl energy, what's your game? " he ask about home, and i get giddy when little leo talk proudly about mikey & laugh at Donnie xD

I laughed at the " drill " part & how it took 2 seasons to upgrade it from beta to be finished. Then they go to shredder part & i thought " ohhhh! You're gonna remind little leo of how he was able to trick big mama but pull out 'at what cost?' Part " which - to be honest - was badass plan from leo but again... Worst communication ever.

F!leo cry in tears as he hugs little him & that when i thought; he made a mistake because he didn't want to be leader - which again i blame splinter, don't stop me people - and did what he thought would take his new role & get back to be support - which related because am 70/80% leo kinnie - but instead made a huge moos-take (badum-dass) that will probably stay - forever - his fault.

Little leo saw an example of it & tho he doesn't want the role it doesn't mean he can't take it slowly, they do have time thanks to the 3 hamatos - and jones we i won't forget them - from future, so proposing to start as co-leading with raph was a great step.

All in all, i thank you very much for the time you took out of your life to write this amazing ch. 12 of NQK🩷 and i won't lie when i say am excited for the future of this Fic🩷🩷🩷

AAAAHHHH MY FRIEND YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN,,, thank you for this magnificent review!!!!! Absolutely no losers here omg you're so good and precious and please never let yourself think otherwise.

I've read this ask so many times and boy it's so great to hear all these thoughts of yours. Best thing ever 11/10 would write again to get to read even a fraction of this dedication again.

The teenager vs. street cat comparison was hilarious jahsdg THAT'S REALLY HOW IT FELT LMAO

Thank you so much for taking the time to read the chapter and comment so extensively, I'm so grateful!! I'm absolutely tickled and also very excited for the future, so I'm really happy to hear that <333

#OLD MAN WITH BABYGIRL ENERGY what a brilliant descriptor #asks #nqk spoilers #kind of because it hasn't even been a full week since the update

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