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nev3rfound · 5 years

Text

was it the perfect day? s.r

brief summary: based on the song a perfect day, by gabbie hanna.

word count: 1.8k requested: nope, just an idea based on some of the lyrics in gabbies song warnings: angsty, being cheated on (if these count idk)

* masterlist of sorts *

commissions (a new thing I’m trying)

Holding his hand, you struggle to disguise your smile as you near his apartment. You knew you shouldn’t, that maybe it’s the one thing that could ruin what has been a perfect day so far. But his big brown eyes were too tempting to decline, the way he licked his lips as he asked you if you wanted to go to his. How could you say no?

You’ve been seeing one another for roughly six months. Six months since that perfect day you both shared. Since that day, you learnt more existed, that there were multiple days possible to share.

Flittering from the compound and his apartment, everyone was noticing your absence, especially Steve.

He knew it was a mistake not speaking up sooner. The pain was becoming annoying, to say the least as he saw your bright smile caused by someone else, the small marks left on your tender skin and the love he made you feel.

Besides not being able to speak the truth, Steve also missed his best friend. Bucky was getting tired of the silent complaints, the longing looks after you as you walk past the gym with an overnight bag. But what could Bucky do? Force Steve to tell you? He tried, but it ended up in Steve rambling nonsense for five minutes before giving up.

Unlocking his front door, you slip the keys back into your pocket as the door closes behind you. A smile forms on your face as your eyes remain heavy, exhaustion taking over from training all day with Natasha. All you want is him, a massage, a cuddle and a steamy shower.

“Jonny?” You call out into the rooms as you place your bag down on the sofa and walk through toward his bedroom.

Before you reach the door, it opens and Jonny stands in front of you with a sleepy smile. “Hey babe.” He mutters, leaning down to kiss you softly. “Mmmh, you smell so good.”

His hand slips into yours and pulls you into the bedroom. He sits and listens to your complaints as he massages your shoulders, the sweet sound of your moans making it worthwhile as you drone on. Slowly but surely, he begins to remove more clothing from you both. His hands work from your shoulders to your lower back, to having you lying down and sitting on top of you.

You always knew when it was coming, even if he thought it might be a surprise. Both of you were past surprising one another, and you both knew.

Rising to your feet, you slip the sheet off of you and silently walk to the bathroom. Jonny remains fast asleep, his arm outspread toward the spot you were lying in moments ago.

Reaching up to turn the taps on, you can feel the tightness increasing in your muscles. “God,” You mutter at the aching.

Steam rises in the room as it seeps into your body, slowly removing the sins that cover you as you step into the shower. You close your eyes, feeling it all being washed away. Any doubts, any worries leave down the drain.

Letting out a sigh, you step out and see a small message scribbled in his mirror.

‘I love you.’

You stand still, your heart rising as the message drips. He hasn’t said it yet, but you’ve wanted to. All the memories of your recent dates flood your mind, the sunset at the beach, riding bikes in the city, curling up and having a movie night. Each time had the perfect chance to say it, but neither of you did.

Stepping closer, you look at the words more carefully.

And then it hits you.

That’s not his handwriting.

Steve heard the door slam, the amount of frustration that rose through the compound. He turns to look at Bucky who bites his tongue back, and motions for him to go.

Rising to his feet, Steve glances over his shoulder and catches a look at you in the lift as the doors close. You're wiping your eyes, right hand covered in blood and the other holding a single pillow.

“Is it bad?” Bucky quietly asks, and Steve lets out a sigh.

“It’s definitely not good.” Steve mutters in response as he begins to take the stairs up to the roof, knowing if you’ll be anywhere in the compound, it would be there.

As he reaches the top floor, he breathes heavily. He takes the last few steps cautiously, holding onto a spare shirt to wrap your hand if need be.

Steve pushes the door open and his eyes scan the roof, but you aren’t in his peripheral vision. “Y/n?” He calls out to you and steps out, looking around the corner.

His calls stop when he sees you curled up by the flowers. You’re lying down, using the pillow stained with blood as your hand is outstretched. Steve can see the cuts running deep in your knuckles, dried blood worsening the state of the wounds. But what he notices the most is how broken you look. You’ve always been the stronger one in your friendship. The first time he truly saw vulnerability is when you opened yourself up to know Jonny.

Crouching down, Steve places his hand on your upper arm. “Hey,” He whispers, carefully watching as you open your eyes slowly. “some cut you got there.”

You glance down at your hand, not feeling the pain despite the blood that covers your fingertips. “Doesn’t hurt.” You mutter in response as you slowly sit upright, feeling the blood rushing through your head as your heart beats quickly.

“Then you won’t mind me tending to it.” Steve tells you as he takes your hand in his, slowly tearing parts of his shirt up and wrapping your hand. Occasionally, he glances up to you, checking on you. But you remain vacant, your gaze set to the right behind him where a broken pot lies. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Jonny’s been cheating on me since we started dating.” The words leave your lips as if they aren’t your own. That you’re simply repeating a fact you’ve been told to say. There’s no pain, no heartache in your tone, it’s too accepting.

Steve pauses as he tucks the material into itself as he places your hand down onto the floor. “Y/n, I, I don’t know what to say.” Steve stutters, the worst he could’ve imagined happening to you actually happened. He can feel his anger boiling in his blood, he knows Jonny is a dead man walking once the others find out.

But that isn’t what you need right now, and Steve knows this. He takes a deep breath, shutting the aggression down as he shuffles closer to you. “He didn’t even say he was sorry.” You speak up, reliving the events of the last hour in your mind as Steve sits silently in front of you. “He, he didn’t care that he hurt me, that I love him.” Lifting your glossy eyes, you focus on Steve. “Who, who does that?” With a blink, tears begin to cascade down your cheeks as you silently sob.

“I don’t know, Y/n.” Steve whispers as he pulls you into his arms.

You curl up into his lap, sobbing into his shirt. “I punched his mirror, that’s how I cut my hand.” You mumble between sobs, and Steve shushes you.

“You don’t have to say anything, Y/n.” He tells you as he rests his chin on the top of your head. “It’s okay, I’m here.” He whispers as the sobs begin to die down.

After an hour of sitting in his arms, you can feel yourself calming down. “What did I ever do to deserve you in my life, Steve?” You pull yourself from his embrace, looking up at his bright blue eyes as he softly smiles to you. “You’re too good to me, and and I’ve been a shit friend.”

Steve shakes his head. “Don’t talk like that, doll.” He sternly tells you as his eyes harden. “Never say that, okay? Because you aren’t, and you never will be.”

A yawn escapes your lips as you nod in response to Steve. “Will you stay with me tonight?” You ask delicately as your eyes search his in desperation.

All Steve does is nod as he helps you to your feet. He reaches down to take the stained pillow, but the feeling of your hand intertwining with his pulls him away. As he turns, he watches as you shake your head.

“Come on,” He picks you up bridal style and you bury your head into the crook of his neck.

You’ve always found it comforting, listening to Steve breathing calmly in situations where most aren’t. Except now, you can feel his heartbeat rapidly beating. “Are you okay?” You whisper to him as you reach the lift.

Steve raises an eyebrow to you. “Why wouldn’t I be?” He asks you with a small smile, and you relax back into him, shrugging it off.

As Steve reaches his room, you jump out of his arms. You walk in and immediately head to the wardrobe where you pick out one of his shirts. “I’m just going to change.” You shyly comment before exiting into his bathroom.

You stare at your reflection, the broken girl who was full of love and life mere hours ago. But she was naive, she didn’t know the truth.

Turning away from your own reflection you remove yourself from the clothes he’s stained, that he’s touched and torn off of you. You throw them into the bin, wishing you had a match to incinerate the sins that are woven into the cotton.

Slipping on Steve’s shirt was comforting, to say the least. It held warmth and security that everything will be okay. His scent, the cologne you got him or his birthday is still sewn into the shirt as he’s worn it so many times. You’re surprised he still has a drop left in the blue bottle.

You run your fingers through your hair before stepping out to see Steve sat in bed, a spot made just for you beside him. Steve smiles softly in the dim lights, trying to hide his growing nerves despite this being a mundane thing you often do, well, did.

“Come on sleepy head.” He laughs lightly as you tiptoe around the bed and climb in beside him.

Strangely, it doesn’t feel odd. In your head you had it pictured as wrong, staying in his bed after all this time. But it’s comforting, it’s coming home after a shit day at work. It’s knowing someone truly cares and listens to you. It’s knowing after everything, he will always be there.

“Steve?” You whisper to him as his armrests around your waist, pulling you close to him as the lights go off.

“Yeah, Y/n?” He whispers back, trying to focus on your face in the dark.

“Thank you.” You mutter before rising up, kissing his lips softly before pulling away and resting in the crook of his neck.

You don’t need to hear anything being said as Steve smiles to himself, knowing you can hear his reaction based on his heartbeat. “Goodnight, Y/n.” He whispers as he closes his eyes, glad you’re finally back in his arms away from the falsity of perfect days.

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