#mind not bc her politics are fucked but just when me and my sister are both due on it’s literally a free for all
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me and my sister were watching the news last night and i was casually in the way you are when talking to family and not before an official debating panel like ‘we should just axe all billionaires’ and my sister got mad? she was like ‘no one will listen to you if you say crazy stuff like that’ babygirl you want crazy london is ON FIRE
#nevermind the fact i was like ‘damn I actually… was not trying to fight but you’re mad so let’s go’#like I actually CAN back up the case for getting rid of billionaires in fact it’s a very easy argument#it tends to write itself when you have even a shred of morality#but she was just soooo pissy#mind not bc her politics are fucked but just when me and my sister are both due on it’s literally a free for all#like she’ll breathe and I want to tear her hair out and I know she’s the same for me#like she very much was just rowing for the sake of it#but I was like ohhh what a stupid fight to pick babe I am gonna wipe the floor with you#‘crazy’ is getting into such a state of climate emergency that there are wildfires in london#and meanwhile jeff bezos can do a joyride into space that produced more co2 than people produce in their lifetime#like best friend are you aware how much better SO MANY THINGS would be#if you just got rid of like. five people#just a very specific five people#no it’s not gonna be a miracle cure but it’s certainly not the craziest part of the shitstorm we’re living in
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Dad Bakugo x mom reader - I need more children in my life 😭✋🏾
def calls his kid "squirt" and "buddy"
in mY universe, he has a boy and a girl bc he needs the best of both worlds
CALLS YOU "MA" GOODNIGHT
we all know he wakes up really early, earlier than you even, so he's the one to check on the babies/kids every morning to see if they're ok :)
definitely keeps schedules of you and your kids days like exams, report cards, if they're going to a friend's house, etc
yk how most kids tend to be like "ewwww" whenever their parents kiss?? not ur kids nono. first of all, your son is the quieter one. not that he's not talkative, he just has a little bit of a hard time expressing himself. anyhow, his sister is very loud. but either way, they both think its sweet. your daughter even said something like "i hope my husband kisses me like that" once (when she was an older kid tho lol)
your son goes to talk to you a lot. he adores you so so much. but one day when he wanted to hang out with you, you weren't home. you were busy running errands while katsuki was at home watching tv. your son started crying and katsuki was like wtf?? eventually, your son grew accustomed to speaking to katsuki. as he got older, he actually talked to him more than you.
teaches your son how to be a man :,) katsuki knew he was bitchy in his younger years and he didn't want either of his kids to be like him. he taught them both manners and how to properly have a conversation.
little pitter patter of their feet ran into your guys' shared bedroom on christmas morning and began jumping your bed. katsuki groaned and rubbed his eyes aggressively. "it's christmas, mommy!" your little boy shouted. "wake up daddy!!" your daughter shouted in his ear. "alright alright you rugrats"
at your daughter's kindergarten graduation (idk if everyone had this but i did lmao), katsuki was tearing up and although he tried to hide it, he had to remain the strong one while comforting you while you bawled your eyes out.
p.s your daughter is the oldest
when she brought home her first boyfriend... ooo chile
i see a lot of people writing how katsuki would act up but tbh in his older years, i think he'd be a lot more mature. he'd greet the dude politely and treat him like he would any of her friends
btw lemme just say: your daughter is a mommy AND daddy's girl. she loves u both insanely
honestly while eating dinner with the boyfriend or something, katsuki would be very blunt and not pay too much mind to him LMAOO he'd be like "'tis is great, doll" as if you don't cook dinner every week and it's only when your daughter brings up how he wants to work at katsuki's angency, where he perks up
"oh shit, no kiddin'?" and you smack his arm lightly.
well this changes everything! he practically gave the kid his blessing. "welcome to the family son"
your son doesn't really care about them together, he just doesn't wanna see his big sis get hurt. lets say that your son is 15 and your daughter is 17. "so, bf/n. have you fucked her?"
you almost spit out your drink like a cartoon. your daughter is shook, katsuki's rage from UA is all coming back to him, and the boyf is scared for his life
you, katsuki, and your daughter have a little talk after dinner
"use condoms" kats stated. "i- WH- nono you can have sex next year." you corrected but ur daughter is like huh?? "wha why next year?" you scoff. "because you'll be a legal adult thats why."
"no offense, momma, but that's really dumb. when did you and dad start having sex?" she folded her arms. katsuki shrugged. "like i said, use condoms."
you and your daughter gossip like crazy alr?? ur like the gilmore girls except you're married and didn't get pregnant at 16 (almost)
and this is nothing new to katsuki, he's heard u guys gossip trillions of times. but when he found out you guys talked abouy HIM TOO??
he busts into the room. your daughter squeals and runs behind you. "hi honeyy-" he shushes you, "you guys talkin' shit 'bout me?"
"nope" you guys say in unison. "there's this other guy, uh.."
#gonna probably make this a separate thingy where its like one part is when the kids were little and one where they're older#just so its more organized bc this was all over the place#katsuki fluff#katsuki#bakugo#bakugo x reader#dad bakugo#dad bakugou#mom reader#fem reader#mha#mha x reader#𝓴𝓪𝓽𝓼𝓾𝓴𝓲 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾
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marketing ploy - ln4 ch7
Lando recovers. McLaren and Red Bull own up. Olivia and Lando decide the future, and give Oscar a heart attack while doing so. We get our happy ending.
piastri!oc x lando norris, bestfriends brother/fake dating
warnings/notes: hospital visits, mentioned injuries, loopiness from medication, pregnancy/sex jokes, media being bitches, lando going 'guys i gotta keep her' and doing the absolute MOST lmao, this is also TECHNICALLY the last chapter but im gonna write more for olivia and lando most def (also olivia will feature as oscars sister in other fics bc i love her)
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I haven't run in years.
I can feel the burn of the air in my lungs as I force them open, adrenaline making every rib shake as I suck in a breath and force it back out. My shoes slam into the floor of the paddocks, sending jolts up my legs as I whisk my bag over my shoulder and 'just go' as Christian had said. My mind is swimming with a thousand thoughts. What if he was seriously injured? He was able to walk, but he collapsed, was it his legs? Or his ribs? What if it's his back? Or his arms? How long will he be out? Is this a whole-season issue or just a few weeks?
Fuck, I cannot be thinking about this right now.
I sweep the room quickly to make sure I have everything, patting my pockets to check for my phone--which is nestled in the back left pocket of my jeans, before whirling around and out of the room.
Once I'm out of the paddocks and towards the exits, where it opens a bit more, the wind whisks into my skin and bites me as I use one hand to dig through the side pocket to find Lando's car keys. I can't steady my hands, even when I'm trying to control their shake, they just get worse. Whether it's fear or anxiety, I find it plain annoying as I struggle to get the small keychain out of my bag. Lando had driven me here from the hotel and shoved the keys in my bag since he didn't walk in with his bag and didn't want to lose the car keys.
Luckily, he had, because talking to anyone in this state would be a bust. I could feel my attitude snipping at my heart as people shouted my name at me. I couldn't stop. I had to find Lando. I knew what hospital he'd be taken to, I had to get there in one piece.
And it was going to be hard with the fucking media right here.
A few reporters try to follow me, but I'm able to slip through the crowds like water. Once I make it to the parking lot, a woman steps in front of me with her camera held high and I shout.
"Can you fucking move?!" And shove her to the side as I zip out of the lot. Fuck the standards, fucking being polite, I'll ask for forgiveness later. And apologize, probably.
Throwing my bag haphazardly into the car, I follow suit and slam the door. There's time here for me to scream, cry, and rage in semi-private, but I bite back the bubble in my throat, throwing my seatbelt on and turning on the car's engine. I wait no time to slam the car forward into first gear, pulling out of the lot with shaking hands. My hands slip with sweat as I try when I remember his McLaren's manual. Cursing, I force myself to revert back to the car I drove in high school as my hands dance across the car in perfected practice.
Thank god I still have that going for me.
The highway is empty, where I thought there'd be lines of traffic there are only a few sparse cars. I slam the car as hard as it can go, watching the ticking of the speedometer, 50... 60... 70... 80...
I look behind me, merging into the fast lane and gunning it even harder. The car sings, and I feel an odd rush of momentary euphoria.
I hit around 165kpm at some point. The car doesn't even shake, it seemingly glides along with my movements, I hear sirens, I don't know if they're for me but I'm not staying to find out. I press harder, merging to the off-ramp and taking it, barely registering what's around me as I slam on my brakes and slip into the traffic near the hospital.
It feels good to drive like that. Maybe I should get back into racing at some point.
Once the McLaren is parked in a back corner of the hospital lot, I grab my bag, rip myself out of the car, and slam it shut, and triple-check it's locked. I turn and book it into the hospital, trying to breathe steady enough to keep myself from losing my shit. It feels like I can't run fast enough, slipping into the hospital and around people who dodge my clearly rushed pace. I pause in front of a desk, panicked and out of breath when someone comes to my side.
"Hi, honey, who are you lookin' for?" A kind nurse says, her hand finding my arm to apply soothing pressure as she notices the fear in my movements. I thought I was hiding it better than I was, I guess. I take a slow breath and let the shake in my hands come in, no longer holding everything back.
"Lando Norris, he just came in with Formula One?" I ask and the woman nods. She asks to see my ID and I fish out my license and Red Bull card to verify my employment.
"Olivia!" A voice shouts as my items are handed back when I'm cleared, and Jon comes up to my side, pointing at my head.
"You still have your headset on." He says softly and I look him up and down, pointing at him.
"So do you," I say. We pause and fall into soft laughter as I pull the headset down to my neck. Jon takes me by the elbow further into the hospital, out of the view of some of the reporters who try to snap photos of us as they're shoved out by the security. I hadn't even seen them when I made my way inside. Through the winding halls, and down to a smaller section of the hospital, Jon brings me to the door to what I assume is Lando's room.
"He's fine." Jon starts with, which eases me immediately, "He's a bit banged up, they think he might have broken or bruised one of his ribs. He's really out of it, the painkillers made him super loopy. Just a forewarning, he's also been dipping in and out of consciousness so don't be alarmed. It's just the painkillers."
"Is his family here yet?" I ask, looking at the door, and Jon shakes his head no once I look back at him.
"They're driving at normal speeds, so no. I don't wanna know how you got here so fast." He steps forward and knocks. A nurse pops open the door and welcomes us inside, Jon stays back while I make my way to the bedside. Lando's wearing a tee shirt and some loose sports shorts, he looks exhausted. I can see bruising on his legs as I nurse tosses the blanket over him as if trying to hide it from me.
"Here!" She pulls up a chair happily and I thank her as I sit down on it, taking my bag off and setting it on the floor, dropping my headphones in. I sigh, taking Lando's hand and feeling his pulse as if the machine that literally tells me that is lying. It feels good to feel his heart thrum under my skin and I kiss his wrist where the pulsepoint is.
"My girlfrien's not g'nna like you doin' that." Lando tries to take his hand from me, Jon snorting in the doorway. I let go of him and laughed softly, leaning up to brush his hair back from his face, the longer curls sticking to his forehead. He's still got the lines from his helmet and balaclava, and I trace one with my finger as he gives me the nastiest stink eye I've ever seen him muster.
"Hi, Lando." I croon, and he whines, slowly rolling his head to the side.
"I have a girlfriend." He states, poking my hand to push it away from him and I send him an odd look. Jon walks over and I can see he's recording, which makes a small amused smile poke at my lips.
"Lando," I laugh softly and Lando whacks my hands away softly, fighting through the weariness of his pain medication to wave his arms.
"I have a girlfriend." He pouts, laying his hands still at his side. I just laugh again, and Lando shouts in his dreary state, "It's not funny! I do!"
"Shush, shh, Lando." I stand and push my chair back a bit as I stifle my laugh into the back of my hand.
Jon calls from where he stands, attempting to help me not laugh by giving me something new to focus on, "Who's your girlfriend, Lando?"
"Olivia. Oscar's sister, which he was actually not happy about at first but I convinced him I was cool--" Lando keeps rambling on until I lift my hand and cup his cheek, running my thumb under his eye as I speak softly.
"Lando, baby, I am your girlfriend." I put a hand on my chest, "I am Olivia."
Lando blinks, eyes settling on me before he gasps and leans up to grab my face and pull me down for a litter of soft pecks to my cheeks and face. I catch myself on the bed and laugh, catching his lips as he happily grins up at me. It's all doe eyes, lovesick smiles on his lips as he keeps his hands tight on my face.
"Hi, baby." He whispers, bringing me in for another kiss and I detach one of his hands so it can rest by his side. I slowly situate him against the blankets with the help of Jon, and sit a bit closer to the head of the bed so Lando can be close enough to me. He keeps one of his hands in mine and I slowly run my thumb along his knuckles.
"Well, Mr. Norris!" A piercing voice calls, a young woman stepping into the room with a bit of an excited flourish, "You are all set! Jon's gonna look over your scans, specifically for those bruised ribs. We're thinking it'll be about three or four weeks of healing, and he's gonna make that like--workout plan and stuff with your personal doctor."
"Ah, thank you, Doctor." Lando smiles, watching as the doctor hands Jon some papers to look over. She smiles at me, a hint of recognition in her eyes.
"Olivia, right?" She asks and I nod, shaking her outstretched hand.
"I'm glad you made it here, Lando was waiting for you a bit impatiently." She kept her happy smile, rocking from foot to foot, "Kept asking us where you were, or when you'd get here. You've got a good man on your hands here, sweetheart."
"I know." My heart is bursting, "He's shown me that over and over."
--
11 JULY, ENGLAND. ↴
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Thank you once again to @ oliviapiastri for taking care of our #4 and providing the team with love and some pics while he was recovering! Lando is at home now, and our official statement on the accident and other situations this season has been posted on our website.
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mclaren.uk...
OFFICIAL STATEMENT ON SITUATIONS BETWEEN LANDO NORRIS AND OLIVIA PIASTRI THIS SEASON.
WRITTEN BY STEVE ATKINS (M), ON BEHALF OF ZAK BROWN (M), ANDREA STELLA (M), ALICE MCLOUGHLIN (ORBR), ASTRID MARINA (UNAFF.), ADA LUANNE (UNAFF.), CHRISTIAN HORNER (OBRB), AND HIMSELF.
On the 22nd of February this year, Lando Norris (MCLAREN F1 TEAM, DRIVER) and Olivia Piastri (ORACLE RED BULL, HEAD OF ANALYSIS) were pulled into the office of Christian Horner (ORACLE RED BULL, TEAM PRINCIPAL) in Bahrain. A deal was struck between both parties and their corresponding teams to create a fake dating scenario, capitalizing on the tensions between Oracle Red Bull Racing and the McLaren F1 Team to push ticket and merchandising sales. This fake relationship was planned to eventually leak in PR and Social Media Strategy, however, due to Norris' crash in Silverstone, the entire program has been canceled. The program was also discovered by F1 Stewards upon investigation after Olivia's reaction to the accident cemented rumors in the media of the two dating. Both the McLaren F1 Team and Oracle Red Bull are under investigation, and fines are yet to be announced.
Norris and Piastri chose not to be a part of this statement and can be expected to make their own statements in the coming weeks.
On July 9th of this year, Lando Norris was involved in an accident in the pitlane of Silverstone. Engineers have determined this was caused by an overheating of brake lines that didn't allow Norris to stop his vehicle along with worn tires. No fines have been placed at this moment.
Olivia Piastri will return to work with Red Bull remotely immediately and will be in-person by Zandvoort. Lando Norris will return to racing with McLaren by Zandvoort and will be replaced by reserve driver Bianca Bustamente for the time being. Neither Norris nor Piastri will be fined for involvement with the media stunt, or with the accident as of this moment.
20 JULY, LONDON ↴
There’s a sort of haze around me as I blink sleep from my eyes. A warm pressure on my left makes me look to the side. Lando’s face is squished against my chest, soft snores leaving his slightly parted lips and rolling across my bare skin that pokes out from under my tank top. I take a moment to take it all in, how we’d gotten here, how we were, and I can’t help but roll to pull him closer to me and curl him inside my arms as I pepper a few kisses to his hairline.
How did I ever not like him? He's a fucking saint.
Lando, a heavy sleeper until I started sleeping in the same bed, noticed immediately and grabbed my waist with groggy whines about how tired he was. I coax him back to sleep, kissing his hairline and gently massaging his back until the snores return and I smile at Lando’s sleeping face.
“Awake yet?” Oscar calls from the door, and I wave. He laughs under his breath, waving me over, and it takes a bit of grace to detach myself from Lando. Once I do, I grab one of the spare throw blankets off the floor from where Lando had kicked it and slip over to where Oscar is standing by the door as I wrap it around me to keep out the morning chill.
“He’s exhausted. I think all the stress of the season is catching up on him.” I rub sleep from my face, and Oscar nods, handing me a piece of toast like a peace offering. I take it and tilt my head at him.
“They’re fining McLaren and Red Bull a lot for this stunt. It just came out.” Oscar hums, “said it’s a breach of contract and a risk for documents to be shared amongst the teams…”
My heart jumps to my throat, and I look at Lando’s sleeping form as he rolls into where my fading body heat is still in the blankets, “they want us to split?”
“Well. Lando’s contract ends with McLaren this year.” Oscar paused to take a sip of his coffee before leaning in to whisper, “and you didn’t hear it from me, but Christian has been looking at grabbing him for a few years now.”
“Is Checo moving?” I ask because I know Max wouldn’t leave Red Bull unless we forced him out by dragging him by his ankles.
“I dunno.” Oscar grins, stepping back and whacking my shoulder, “but you can date within your garage, so.”
With that, he walks away and I turn back to Lando as he starts to stir. I lean on the doorframe and watch as he blearily blinks his eyes open, hands searching for me in the covers until he lifts his head to see me off in the doorway.
“C’mere.” he croaks, and I smile, pushing off the doorframe and walking over to sit on the edge of the bed as he wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head on my thighs.
I can’t imagine him in navy. But it might look good on him.
25TH JULY, LONDON ↴
“is Max positive?” Lando pokes his head into the kitchen doorway, looking at the island where I’m staring at my laptop. I look up and shrug, sending an email back to Christian about the fines and the media being on his ass for the whole stunt.
“Kylie said it’ll be here in five minutes,” I reply, refreshing my email as if that will make the minutes suddenly not matter and for the email to pop up. Apparently, Max had gotten sick right before the next race. While I was home with Lando to make sure he wasn’t being strenuous and to keep media off my back until everything died down, they had to do a COVID test on Max and isolate him just in case.
“It would suck if he's out for his home race this year." Lando wanders into the kitchen and pulls up a stool next to me as he sets his phone down on the counter. He’s been living in Oscar and my apartment for the past few days, just until next week when he goes back to McLaren's training center for a bit to do a lot of physical therapy before getting in the car next weekend for Zandvoort.
Oscar calls my phone, and I stand up, telling Lando to keep checking my email as I make my way over to the other side of the kitchen to grab my phone.
“Yes, bitch?” I say into the phone and Oscar laughs at my sharp tone.
“Just checking in on Lando for Zak,” Oscar says and I look behind me and my boyfriend—like, actual boyfriend now, and smile.
“He’s been fine, ribs are still a little sore. I had him doing cardio earlier and he was faring pretty well so I—I think Jon said he can go back to training a bit earlier. He’s still coming back in Zandvoort though.” I hum, “how’s Bia faring?”
“She’s having the time of her life. I gotta start bringing her around more. You guys really would be an unstoppable duo.” Oscar laughs, “But good, Jon is off today so I’ll let Zak know to reach out to him and ask.”
“Ollie!” Lando whines and I turn.
“Yess?” I draw out as I walk to his side.
“It's negative.”
“Oh, thank fucking god.” I breathe, “That makes everything a lot easier for me.”
Oscar is quiet on the line for a few moments before asking in a small voice, “What’s negative?”
“Max’s COVID test. He’s just got the flu.” I say without thinking much of my brother's hesitance before he lets out a soft laugh.
“I thought you took a pregnancy test or something, I was about to start judging the type of cardio you’ve been doing,” Oscar says and I shout,
“Dude!”
“I feel like that’s a reasonable thing to be worried about!”
“Oh my god, we’ve only been actually dating dating for like two weeks!” I groan and Lando sends me a confused look, so I pop Oscar onto speakerphone.
“It only takes like—five minutes to make a kid!”
“Hello?!” Lando shouts and I sink to the floor in a fit of laughter, trying to bite back the volume of my laughter before Lando shouts, "Do you think I fucked your sister?!"
"No! Stop! Stop talking Lando!" Oscar shouts over the phone and now I'm hysterical on the floor in tears as Lando tries to backtrack and Oscar keeps shouting for him to just-- "Shut the fuck up, Lando!"
"Both are you are going to kill me, I'm losing it." I wheeze from where I'm now lying on the floor, Lando laughing alongside me as Oscar groans.
"First the house, now this?" He says and Lando makes some noise in the back of his throat as I manage to calm myself down enough to stand.
"What about a house?" I wipe under my eyes, leaning my head on Lando's shoulder as his arm wraps around my shoulder and he kisses my head, his fingers poking at my side and making me squirm as I push him away with a laugh.
"Nothing, love." Lando sighs, "Remember when they gave me those painkillers that made me super loopy the first night, and Oscar was watching over me?"
I nod, remembering how halfway through my grocery trip he had to call me because Lando was so loopy he thought that I was gone forever. And he had literally cried tears of joy when I answered Oscar's phone call.
"Well, I kinda... oh my god this is so embarrassing." Lando sighs and Oscar tells him he now has to tell the story and Lando hides his face in my hair as he recounts, "I was looking at apartments in London for us."
"Stop, oh my god." I whine, turning to Lando so I can kiss his cheeks and his forehead, pulling him down when he tries to move back so I can't, "That's so cute."
"No, it's embarrassing." He grumbles and I laugh, pulling him closer and kissing along his jaw and then the apples of his cheeks and the tip of his nose.
"I wouldn't mind that," I murmur to him and his eyes widen to the size of dinner plates, his hands find my waist and he presses a kiss to my lips.
"Ew, I don't like that I can hear him kiss you over the phone." Oscar groans, "I'm hanging up now, don't do anything too strenuous."
"Fuck you, Oscar!" I laugh as the call hangs up, Lando keeping his arms firmly around my waist. We sit in silence for a few moments before his hand ghosts up the side of my neck to take my jaw in his palm, thumb hooking on my chin to pull me down to look at him.
"Would you seriously not mind?" He asks softly and I grin, leaning over to pop a quick kiss on his lips.
"Getting to have you with me every day?" I bring our foreheads together, his curls against my own as his hands find my waist to hold, my hands resting on his shoulders as I grin and flutter my eyes closed, "That's paradise."
"I'll literally buy one right now, don't even test me." He groans, pulling me closer and I laugh.
"Let's get Zandvoort out of the way first, yeah?"
JULY 28TH, TWITTER ↴
AUGUST 27TH, THE NETHERLANDS ↴
Luckily for me, I made it into the paddocks long before any media people. Max welcomes me with a slap on the back as I welcome him to his home race, and then I'm greeted by the Ferrari drivers once again as Checo laughs at my bewildered expression.
"I'm gonna tell the Tifosi on you both." I huff, but let both Charles and Carlos wrap me in tight hugs of congratulations as we laugh. Once the two are carted off to go do their actual jobs, I get settled in my chair and glance down at my desk before laughing.
A vase of freshly cut flowers and a little cup of coffee sits there, waiting for me, and I turn to look at Max who just grins.
"He's determined." Is all Max says before slipping away as he's called over to get dressed. I laugh and send Lando a quick thank you message, before taking a sip of the perfectly made coffee and settling down to finally get back into gear.
"Welcome back," A voice chimes and I glance up to see Christian in the doorway. I offer him a small smile and a nod.
"Good to be here." Is all I say in reply.
-
Lando and Max seriously just want to kill each other in these cars. Max takes the win at his home race by some insignificantly small number, they had to literally watch multiple playbacks to see who crossed first, which means Lando is still in good running for World Champion. Luckily, somehow a mix of car issues and the pure energy from Oscar, Charles, Checo, and Carlos managed to keep Max in P2 for most races, leveling out the chances for Lando to recover his lost points.
As soon as most drivers have returned to their paddocks, I'm mid-packing up when I'm ushered off by Logan, who finished P6. He quite literally hoists me off my feet and carries me into the crowd for the podium. A few other drivers lag back, and I look over to Oscar, who'd finished P4 behind Charles.
"Where's Lando?!" Logan shouts over my head at Oscar, who points, and then leans over to me.
"Here's that kiss they promised you'd have to do," He shouts in my ear and I laugh as the two lift me so I can be partially over the barrier holding back the audience from the racers. I wave Lando down and he laughs, slipping away from a reporter as he finishes an interview. Biting off his glove as he walks over, he drops it into his helmet and then grabs my jaw with that now gloveless hand, pulling me into his lips for a quick peck. I don't let him leave though, grabbing his jaw and pulling him back in for a few more deeper kisses.
Oscar cheers and Logan laughs before Lando secures one arm around me to pull me over the barrier. Logan and Oscar immediately hop over after me.
There's warmth in my chest as Lando keeps his hand on my lower back, pulling me through the crowd of drivers and up to where Max and Charles stand. A giddy excitement thrums across my skin.
I could do this forever.
--
SEPTEMBER 3RD, INSTAGRAM ↴
oliviapiastri made a new post!
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, charlesleclerc, and 876k others...
oliviapiastri: 6 months <3
charlesleclerc: damn y'all move fast
oscarpiastri: DUDE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE ARENT LIVING TOGETHER IN OUR WHOLE LIVES. CHEERS!
maxverstappen: cheers!! looks lovely
user1: THEY LIVE TOGETHER?
alexalbon: DUDE ITS BEEN SIX MONTHS??
⤷ landonorris: I KNOW??
landonorris: omg i can post this publically now
landonorris: i LOVE YOU OLIVIA<333
user2: lando going bat shit in these comments is so real
landonorris: I LOVE U SM DARLING
⤷ oscarpiastri: i liked it better before the FIA made them announce it. i wanna go back in time to before that happened.
⤷ oliviapiastri: get me a tardis then
⤷ bbcdoctorwho: we can make that work ...
⤷ oliviapiastri: HELLO?
user4: dying dead gone deceased i love them
landonorris posted a new story!
#f1 fanfic#ln4 fic#f1 smau#f1 fic#lando norris au#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fic#lando norris imagine#lando norris x oc#oscar piastri fic
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hi girlyyy ❤️
weve seen jealous timo over em .... but what happens when mr hischier gets jealous bc lex is looking extremely gorgeous and getting a lot of male attention 😘😫
It takes a lot for Nico Hischier to turn any shade of green in regards to his wife.
Not because she isn’t stunning, she absolutely is. But mostly because she looks at him like that.
Her bedroom eyes are out tonight, calling to him from across the room at a charity function hosted by the Devils. She’s with the other WAGS, including Emma. The theme is red and black tonight. Nico has a red tie on with his black suit to match Lexi’s long, red dress. He smiles as she lifts a subtle corner of her mouth at their eyes meeting again.
How much longer do they need to be here?
Timo Meier sighs next to Nico, having similar thoughts.
“I’m about over this.”
“It’s for the kids.” Nico jokes, taking a sip of his water.
“But your sister looks like that.” Timo’s jaw is practically on the floor as Emma laughs across the room. A low groan comes from the left wing. “Fuck me.” He mutters. Lexi grips Emma’s forearm, laughing with her too. Nico smiles wide. Yeah, fuck him too with his wife looking like that.
The rest of the night drags. Nico is pulled into all several different directions. This is standard for any event he is at. Every time he tries to make his way towards Lexi, someone else demands his attention. He is starting to feel the same resentment she has mentioned over his lack of attention on her. Although the last few times Nico has glanced at his wife, she seemed well occupied with someone else. No longer with his sister or the Devils WAGS, Lexi Hischier is laughing with another man at the bar.
“Nico?” Tom Fitzgerald calls him back to the circle of people he is in.
“I’m sorry, what?” Nico asks, looking intently at the face of his General Manager. Tom repeats his question, but even as Nico answers, his mind is back across the room with his wife.
He didn’t like how close that guy was to her.
Or the way she laughed so loudly at what he said.
And definitely not the way the unknown man signaled to the bartender that Lexi needed another cocktail. Nico has seen her have at least three. At drink four, she becomes a buzzed, happy problem. Conversation continues on around Nico, allowing his gaze to rest back on the curve of his wife’s ass across the room. Every time tonight, Lexi has felt his eyes on her and looked, but not with this man next to her.
What gives?
“Excuse me.” Nico mutters, stepping away from the group.
As he crosses the room, others call out to him. He continues forward until a high-profile Devils Foundation donor steps in front of him with his teenage daughter. The 13 year old looks like she might pass out at the sight of the Devils captain so close. Nico gives a polite smile, knowing he can’t get out of this one. While he scribbles out an autograph and takes a picture, Lexi moves with the man from the bar to the silent auction area filled with baskets put together by each Devils player for donors to bid on. Lexi points to the basket they created. The man nods, pointing at certain things, clearly complementing Lexi’s taste as she blushes and giddily grips his forearm to brush off his praise. As she does this, Nico watches her breasts strain against the fabric of her dress and the man’s eyes dip, just for a moment.
And he decides that is about enough of that.
“It was great to meet you. Let marketing know when you’re at the next game and we can do a locker room tour.” He says as he steps back in pursuit of his wife again. This seems to appease the two donors, so Nico can sneak away. He can’t help but stalk his feet along the expensive tile of the ballroom.
“Lex.” Nico murmurs, wrapping a hand around her opposite hip. He pulls her snug into him.
“Baby!!!!” Lexi squeaks back. Oh yeah, she is wasted. “Meet my friend, Cory!”
Yeah, I’m sure he is a great friend tonight.
“Captain Hischier.” The man extends his hand in greeting.
“Nico is fine.” Nico replies, griping the mans hand hard.
“Your wife was just showing me the basket she created.”
“She has great taste.” Nico smiles, venom slightly seeping in to the grin. He helped too. There is Swiss chocolate and expensive espresso beans in there that he selected.
“He is going to bid on it. It’s already at $5,000!” Lexi chirps happily. Nico takes in Cory for a moment, seeing the very expensive designer brands he is obviously dripping in. This dude wants to hit on his wife so openly and take peeks at her tits? Fine. He can pay for the experience.
“Really? Maybe he can double the current bid if he likes it so much.” The man’s eyes go wide.
“Oh!” Lexi squeaks.
“For the kids, ya know?” Nico shrugs, smirking.
“Oof. I don’t know if my wife would be too happy about that.” Nico internally rolls his eyes. What a creep.
“Maybe you could donate your watch then?” Nico suggests innocently, noting the very expensive Rolex. “I think they are taking other types of donations at the front table.”
“Ah. You know what cash sounds better.” Cory chuckles, then picks up the pen to write down his donation. Nico watches the bid move to $15,000. That seems like a fair trade off.
“Oh wow.” Lexi sputters, grabbing Nico’s back excitedly. “Thank you so much!”
“Hey man, that’s awesome. Thanks so much for your support.” Nico shakes Cory’s hand again.
“Anything for the kids.” Their look is tense. He knows Nico got him.
Nico watches his retreating back for a moment, then pulls his wife into his body. He savors the weight of her against him, her breast squishing into his chest. He opens his mouth to speak to her, but Lexi’s mouth is already on his. Her kiss takes his breath away. He forgets where they are and moves his hands from her hips to her ass. He groans, lost in her, until the noise of the room brings him back. He gently eases back from her.
“So how did I do?” Lexi is sultry as she asks.
“Hmm?” Nico is still a little too stunned from her lips to speak coherently.
“My flirting to get a higher bid. How did I do?”
“Baby!” Nico laughs. “You doing this on purpose?”
“Yeah. I wanna win. Emma said she thought hers was going to go higher. And I kinda just wanna knock your sister off the lil high horse she was riding this morning.”
“I love when you get competitive.” He chuckles, puckering his lips for her again. “Your tits in this dress are something to be admired.” His eyes dip, rolling across her plumped cleavage.
“I know. Thanks, LuLu.” She chuckles, speaking of their daughter who is still breastfeeding.
“I can bottle feed her when we get home. You can keep having fun.”
“Hmm?” Lexi asks around her straw. Nico points to the drink. “Oh, this is soda water.”
Nico’s respect and admiration for his wife grows with her answer. She’s completely sober.
His wife has completely played him like a fiddle tonight.
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OK I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I WANNA TALK 2 U ABOUT SO HERE IS ME RANTING AND PUTTING QUESTIONS:
I lovehe relationship yn has w the tomlinsons😫 like how she has a secrete handshake with the twins and how lottie is like her little sister and LOUIS IS LITERALLY A DREAM FRIENDSHIP
I have this thing where i like to think that yn was a big fan of paramore, and she also wrote some hits like only exeption (it just screams her and also it reminds me of how she would feel abt harry)
I also see her writing 'girl crush' when harry and taylor were dating and then saling it in 2014 but idk thats just me
And am i the only one who sees a PERFERT friendship between her and jennifer lawrence??
OK NOW I GOT SOME QUESTIONS SO HOPE THEY'RE NOT TOO MUCH
Whats the readers networth? Like i know that shes rich but how rich🤔
On a scale of 1-10 how famous is she? Like comparing to a big celebrity like Beyonce is she just as famous or..?
Whats her favorite colour?
Who is more clingy, harry or her?
Besides harry and louis who is her bestfriend that she hangs out w the most
What are some celebrities that got a crush on her and who has made that public
The weeknd has a song 'the party & after party' and it kind of sounds that hes describing a girl like yn "with your louis v bag, tats on your arms, high heels shoes make you 6 feet tall.." so are there some speculations ab this from the fans?
AND LAST is the reader the teaser in the relationship or does harry like to make fun of her more? ( srry if theres any mistakes)
IM ALWAYS DOWN FOR THIS LOVIE 💚
same!! they're family 🥰
funny enough, i actually picture a lot of paramore's music to be the music that yn would make with her band when she was in high school!
in the 1d!yn universe, she wrote Girl Crush!! (I remember talking about it a while ago on here but I forgot what year she wrote & sold it lol)
I don't know much about jennifer lawrence but thats an interesting pair 👀
I'll base it off of ariana grande's net worth at 240 million. But we all know that no number can amount to her actual worth 💅
I'd say that on a scale of 1-10, she's about an 8. She's a household name and an absolute force to be reckoned with. She's the type of famous that she forgets that she is and she'll record herself reacting to tiktoks lying down in bed, make-up free, and just lose her mind laughing. Or there was another time when she took herself out on a brunch date bc Harry went out to play golf that morning. Two girls approached her table and politely greeted her, said how much they loved her and had tickets to see her show that night. But before they could leave, YN invited them to sit with her and spent the rest of the morning eating and chatting with them.
Her favorite color is lavender 💜
Harry is the more clingy of the two! He's always the one who lays himself on top of her when she's about to get out of bed. When they arrive at the stadium he's going to perform at, her hand is constantly intertwined with his. When she's doing some last-minute rehearsals and sound checks, he's sitting at the edge of the room as he watches her work while still giving her her space. Or when she's in her home studio, he insists that she sits in his lap as she works because he's missed her all day, promising that he won't be a distraction to her (even though he totally is). And don't get it twisted, she can be clingy too sometimes; she's just better at hiding it.
Her other good friends that she hangs out with whenever she can are: Abel (the weeknd), Perrie Edwards, and Alisha Davies (an old friend from Doncaster turned choreographer).
oh my gosh where do I even begin?! There's a couple that initially come to mind: Matt Healy, Alex Turner, and Taron Egerton. For some reason, I can hear Matt say in an interview: "YN YLN is totally fit. Yeah, she's a fucking babe she is."
OOO definitely! Fans from both fan bases had speculated that they might have dated in 2017 (they didn't) bc that's when they hung out in public for the first time. Some people still speculate that Abel might have a crush on her til this day.
I'd say they share the teasing role. She throws playful jabs at him left and right, but she's the one who helped coax out that side of him. While they tease one another behind closed doors ALL the time, their favorite time to make fun of each other is at each other's shows.
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hi hi im fucking obsessed with your page and all the lovely anons like ya’ll are keeping me alive with your thoughts, comments, rants, stories, and gifs😭😭😭 HOWEVER i was wondering if anyone has any thoughts about how the team would take it if they saw how haley was treating the reader with her snide fucking comments and ugly ass attitude???? OR what if haley tries to get the team on her side bc she’s so fucking stupid and blinded with jealousy even tho they arent really close in the first place????
please bless me with your thoughts (IM BEGGING YOU🧎♀️)
- 🌊
Awwwhhh gosh thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖💖 you're very sweet! And I welcome you 🌊 anon!! It's nice to have you here 🥰🥰🥰🥰
NOW onto the deets!! Sooooo okay they can tell that whenever you're around or mentioned Haley is ✨tense✨. I mean they are profilers! It esp goes down when there's a gathering at the bar after a case. You're there, as you often are (even before you started dating Aaron if you're part of the team) and just generally having a great time sitting with him.
And then Haley enters the same bar. She managed to have Jack handed over to her sister, being encouraged to "get back out there". But what Jessica doesn't know is Haley decided to go to the very same bar she was attending with Aaron with the team years ago. She had heard he was seeing someone, but now she knows he is. And boy... she is not happy.
You're younger than her for a start. Pretty. Real pretty. Definitely more filled out than she ever was, however. And Aaron has his arm around your waist, smiling gently and chuckling at whatever the conversation was being had. No, she didn't want to see him so-
So she decides to saunter into the bar, pretending she hasn't seen any of them as she orders herself a drink. As she takes hold of her drink she walks casually near their table, she knows they've spotted her now. And then she feigns surprise as she lets her eyes wander to the group.
"Oh! I didn't expect to cross paths with you all tonight." She says. The group offer polite greetings to her and she smiles and nods, then her eyes land on you. "Ah... and you are?"
You tell her your name. She watches as Aaron's grip on you tightens a little. She hums.
"I see. Well I'm Haley Brooks, Aaron's ex-wife. I'm sure you know my dearest Jack, yes? I'm his mother." She says smugly as she shakes your hand a little too tightly. You look uncomfortable, she enjoys it. Her eyes drift to Aaron, who's watching her with slightly narrowed eyes. "I didn't expect you to move onto someone so... hmm, how should I put it?"
"Haley." Aaron says. His tone is a warning. Haley narrows her eyes a little.
"I was only going to say they're young, Aaron." God, she enjoyed the discomfort from the way she said his name. You're looking at her with a certain look that suggested you knew she was lying about what she was about to say. No doubt you'd heard it before, she thinks. One of the others at the table clears their throat.
"Ah, you here with anyone tonight?" Emilia(Emily?) asks her. Haley shifts her gaze to the woman with dark hair.
"Mhm no. Just haven't had much time for myself recently." She knows her words sting. Good. You clear your throat and offer a polite smile.
"I don't mind looking after Jack sometimes if you and Jessica need a break. He's always a good kid when he's at his dad's." You offer and Haley breathes out through her nose sharply.
"That's funny, when I spotted you all I thought you probably worked as a babysitter. You certainly look like one."
Before anyone else can speak up, Aaron slams his glass down on the table and stands up, firm and tall.
"Alright, that's enough. I think you should go." He says sternly to her. Haley gasps, wide eyed.
"A-Aaron I-"
"Now."
In a spark of anger, Haley downs her drink in one and slams her own glass down on the table.
"Fine. I'll just have to try to find myself a ride home then." She snaps. She turns to leave, and from behind her she hears possibly Derek say,
"Leave it to us, Hotch. Stay with (Y/n)."
She never did get to see you again.
#🫣 idk yawl its a lil lackluster but honestly feeling like avoiding writing fic stuff abt haley in future#💌 ah asks#🌊 anon
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💋God I’m so tired of having to witness the literal worst of human nature. I swear retail brings out the ugliest sides of people.
Today I heard a kid running behind me as I was ringing someone up, and so I turned and said “slow down please.” Regular and polite. Well apparently that was a grievous mistake bc I immediately hear yelling and it’s the mom right behind me losing her little pea-sized brain over me “telling her child what to do.” Ok bitch well if you were watching him and making him behave I wouldn’t have to say shit in the first place. This woman was literally fucking yelling at me over HER KID acting up like what in the goddamn hell. I keep trying to tell her “ma’am I’m not trying to be rude I just needed him to stop running, it’s a liability and that’s our store policy.” Ofc she’s not hearing any logic bc she’d rather talk over me and go on and on about how I’m disrespectful for talking to her son and not her. Why does it even matter??? Idk. Finally she just walked away, glaring daggers at me the whole time.
Then like ten mins later her husband comes back, and I do have to give him credit bc he was polite, but he basically walks up and goes “look I wanna unpack all that that just happened.” Like ok Dr Phil the gist of it is that your wife is a bitch but sure let’s “talk about it.” I explain to him that not only is it store policy that I ask people not to run inside, but I also was polite in the way I asked. He agreed. But then he tries to explain “well the way we grew up, people don’t talk to other peoples kids.” Ok that’s nice, but that’s not everyone’s upbringing and again, I wouldn’t have had to say anything if YOU were parenting your child. Also think it’s weird bc these ppl were like 40 talking about “in my day we didn’t tell ppls kids what to do.” Like dude if anything it’s the opposite?? Especially down here in the south. I’m not nearly as old as them but if my momma caught me running around acting a fool in a store like that, not only would I get in trouble but she’d GLADLY let someone else scold me for my behavior. This whole thing of “if you even look at my child wrong I will explode” is def not a “back in the day” type shit, it’s new and it’s coming from all these dumbass fucking entitled parents that have no consideration for others in public bc they’re kids are the best kids and everyone else needs to accommodate to THEM, not fhe other way around. Jfc
And then immediately after that happened someone dropped a glass jar of salsa and didn’t even wait for an employee to come to the mess. They just left the salsa and broken glass on the floor, they ain’t even wait thirty seconds before saying “well not my problem” and walking away. I fucking hate people.
Don't give me any of that "back in my day" BS!
I am 49 fucking years old and one of my core memories is being 6 or 7 and just being bored as hell in church and me and my sister were just being kids trying to amuse ourselves and this crusty old man just gets up from his seat at the other end if the room grabs my arm and drags me over to where he was sitting and sits my scared out of my mind ass down and keeps me next to him for the rest of the service. My mom said nothing at the time but when we got home I got a whooping for "embarrassing" her and told me I better behave next time. And for the next few months every sunday this scary old man would grab my arm and sit me next to him.
So I have no idea what alternate timeline your customer came from but it sure as hell wasn't back in the day.
-Rodney
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LIST OF GUYS IN IDOLISH7
idolish7
these are the main guys. the show is named after them. they have a rainbow theme bc there are seven of them
riku
he always works hard and does his best but he has asthma so its hard to be an idol like that
iori and tenn's evil dad think he is a "monster" bc he's so cute and friendly that everyone wants to stan him
tenn is his twin brother but they haven't lived together for years ever since tenn got a new evil dad
not in high school but not of drinking age
iori
hes meticulous and loves planning
wants everyone to take him seriously but secretly loves this hello kitty like brand of cute mascot characters
basically elected himself sub-manager of the group
kind of obsessed with riku and wants to make him a superstar but is afraid of his power (cuteness, singing good)
mitsuki is his older brother and they're close
in high school
mitsuki
he struggled to become an idol and he thinks that people hate him bc he is short and old and talks too much. hes not even old he's 21
iori's older brother
kind of the peacekeeper of the group unless he's mad at them
potentially the most normal guy
an adult
yamato
rude. love him though
calls himself onii-san (embarrassing)
hates his famous actor dad for cheating on his wife
he had beef with yuki that was so wild
loves to pound beers all the time (an adult)
nagi
hes from a made-up Scandinavian country and his dad is nobility there while his mom is from Japan
hes like your classic foreign guy who loves anime
but he also has martial arts skills and is really good at politics and holding press conferences due to being a duke or something
he might be the prince for all I know
not in high school but not old enough to drink
tamaki
basically he's like a son to me
in my mind he is like a large dog that was transmogrified into a human teen by a witch's curse
he just kind of does his own thing, gets emotional easily, and loves food. especially this one brand of pudding
he and his sister were split up so he spent a lot of time looking for her and then found out she lives with tenn and his evil dad
in a subunit with sougo so they're usually together
in high school
sougo
neurotic and a perfectionist so it's funny he has to spend time with tamaki. but he loves tamaki after three seasons
the three main jokes with him are that hes a yandere, he gets wasted easily, and he puts too much spice in food
his family is rich as fuck but they hate entertainers so he is estranged from them. I choose to also interpret this as gay coding and when his family says "entertainers" they mean "gays"
an adult
trigger
this is the second set of guys. they are rivals to idolish7 and they got started as idols earlier
gaku
his dad is his boss... embarrassing :/
always mad at his dad
he's cute bc he's pretty aggressive but he's always so sweet when it comes to idolish7's manager bc he has a crush on her. but even if he didn't I think he would still be kind and gentle
sometimes pretends to be a soba delivery guy
an adult
tenn
he loves his fans more than anything and they see him as an angel but he is such a huge jackass to his brother and the guys in his unit
riku is his twin brother but he got adopted by his new evil dad to pay for riku's medical bills
usually you see him either arguing with riku or arguing with gaku and ryunosuke
not in high school but not old enough to drink
ryunosuke
his manufactured showbiz image is a hunky playboy but hes just a sweet guy
for some reason they also pretended he was rich even though his dad is a humble fisherman
AND they made him stop speaking in his native Okinawan dialect but he still does it when he gets drunk
I like him a lot but he's not often involved in insane drama so I probably don't post him a lot
an adult
re:vale
they're the longest-running idol group in the series and are the senpais to everyone else. they have so much tasty drama and I love them. these are the ones I stan
momo
he started out as a fan of re:vale and then got to join it. huge success story
when he was younger he had solid black hair
he replaced yuki's former partner so he has a complex about it and thinks yuki doesn't love him as much
fun and energetic but extremely quick to escalate to violence
I feel like his moveset is 1. attack 2. do something gay
an adult
yuki
my #1 special guy in this series
cares about music more than anything else
bad personality. sarcastic. terrible
cold and rude to most people but extremely clingy with the people he's close to
gets SO embarrassed when he has to show feelings openly
also escalates to violence easily
an adult
zool
I still don't know what these guys' fucking problem is bc I haven't finished the anime. I'm not actually sure if their deal gets explained in the anime. anyway they're the s3 rival group who all have a personal grudge against one or more of the previously introduced guys
haruka
he's mad bc tenn's evil dad dropped him like a hot potato for tenn
the other zools don't take him seriously bc he's a kid
in high school
touma
his band disbanded after losing to re:vale I think so that's why he's mad
clearly supposed to be the most sympathetic zool and the one who encourages the rest to be friends
BUT I tune him out whenever he speaks bc his voice actor is annoying racist kimura subaru :/
minami
my personal favorite zool
he's soft-spoken and polite but then he says the meanest shit out of nowhere
he's especially mad at nagi for being friends with a famous composer (?) but I feel like he's lashed out at pretty much everyone he's interacted with for no reason
not in high school but not old enough to drink
torao
he really is the guy ryunosuke is marketed as. since he only thinks about fucking babes and his dad is rich
yuki bullied him for being straight
I'm not actually sure which guy he's the most mad at. he did try to tank ryunosuke's career with a scandal so I guess him
an adult
other guys
banri
this is a SPOILER but he was yuki's partner in re:vale before he got hit in the head with a stage light and almost died
he had shorter hair in flashbacks
currently he is one of idolish7's managers
just like a nice and helpful guy who we only ever really see get mad at yuki in flashbacks
an adult
rinto
nickname is okarin
re:vale's manager
a normal guy who tries to stop them from being insane but isn't qualified
an adult
tsumugi's dad
ok his name is takanashi otoharu but I've never in my life called him that
runs the production company idolish7 works for
imo he has something going on with banri
an adult
tenn's evil dad
I included a full sprite so you could understand the vampire vibe this man has going on
his name is actually kujo takamasa
he was obsessed with his bestie who was a famous super idol and now he keeps trying to train random teens he finds to be better idols than that guy
an adult
tsukumo
the manager of the zools. king zool if you will
the devil
he has History with momo
he wants his idol group to be better than anyone else and crush the other companies
he needs to get some new hobbies but he's the type of guy to be like "everything I've tried before was too easy for me... I simply must pivot to doing the thing the show is about in the most evil and annoying way"
an adult
other characters that aren't guys
anesagi
she's trigger's manager
trans woman
fun and friendly but very defensive of her boys (trigger)
has a crush on nagi for some reason??
an adult
tsumugi
the player character from the game
idolish7's manager
her dad is her boss just like gaku and just like with him it's cringe. but she likes him and they don't fight
not in high school but I don't think she's old enough to drink
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See, like, normally I know it’s not worth the effort and energy to interact with The Stans, but like I mentioned about that anon who basically said it’s okay if soldiers die because they’re not innocents, there’s a line to be drawn in a discussion of fictional media and people being so thickheaded and hurtful/harmful that they actually cause legitimate grief to others.
Even if people think it’s stupid that they have views that basically erase her of any wrongdoing, there’s a point where I have to stop and evaluate, is this actually them defending a favorite character or is this how they actually think and like her because of that.
Like I said in that ask, the anon I once got that effectively told me it’s okay for soldiers to die doesn’t know me or my life. They didn’t know I have a sister who used to a sergeant in the military. They didn’t know this woman has kids, and at the time had three very young children (they’re teens now, but when she was deployed they were a lot younger and still just kids). That’s not counting the rest of the family of course, but it says a lot when their ask implied to me that a soldier is no longer a person with a family but just an expendable device to be eliminated for warfare.
And that’s the problem with a lot of these people. They defend their extreme, terrible views by saying extremely moronic shit without applying it to real life and realizing how disgusting they actually sound. When my nonnies and I were discussing why we didn’t enjoy GW, that was just discussion and disappointment of a great character being altered in another game. It was harmless discussion and we weren’t sending people comments that might actually upset someone.
I know some of these people do it on purpose, and then there are the people who genuinely just don't seem to realize how stupid they sound. It’s one thing to explain why you love a favorite, but imagine if I actively defended Jarod from RD simply because I enjoy his character. If he were real, I’d probably hate him. In a video game he has funny one-liners and says some badass things, but he’s completely willing to murder innocents, children and elders simply because lolz they’re from Daein and that makes them worth being killed. Imagine if I defended that viewpoint, simply because Ashnard, the previous king of Daein, started a war! Because some of its citizens were in fact trash! But suddenly, all of them are horrible! Mind you, this is what The Stans do regarding Faerghus. If you’re living in Faerghus, off with your head, in their eyes.
That’s why I need to draw a line between “this is just another annoying person on the internet” and “okay, this is actually rude and if you believe this applies to real life too then you are literally a fucked up person”. I didn’t reply to that ask I got from that anon bc it would not have been nice, it would not have been polite, and it would have definitely been a response without the boundaries of just fiction. I did laugh at how stupid they are on my blog, but the reason I didn’t directly reply to it is because it was not just stupid, but extremely insensitive.
Imagine if Dimitri had stans like that who said it was okay for all of EdeIgard’s siblings to be used in experiments and tortured until they died simply because they were her siblings/royalty from a particular nation.
That’s the shit they do to fans who just don't like their favorite character. You don’t even have to have Dimitri as a favorite, but just not like her. It’s just that Dimitri fans don’t like her because his and her views and goals are so extremely different and on the opposite end of everything that they can’t see eye to eye, and the reason his fans usually don't like her character is precisely because of that: they like Dimitri’s story and character, but it’s too opposite of hers. That’s okay. That’s fine.
It’s not okay or fine anymore when people start acting like they can say whatever they want to justify their pixels, no matter how horrible it is.
#DCB Comments#also for the nonnies that mentioned I should change the name I use for red emp don't worry! I did!#I use a capital i instead of a lowercase L since I had a friend recommend that to me#I'll change it again if the crazies somehow find us with that change but for now that's what I've been using in any of my posts
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atla idea thingy: imagine azula, ty lee and mai go to the north pole undercover as earth kingdom nobles to try and scope out the political situation, maybe for potential allyship, maybe to gather intel. they are understandably very upset to be quietly scorned and overlooked for being girls, used to some misogyny (bc no the fire nation is not a perfect feminist wonderland guys) but not to this blatant and stupid an extent of cutting their entire fighting force and pool of healers in half for tradition's sake. they're seething about how such a culture is being extended to the way they're being treated in their room when who comes along to greet the strange guests but princess yue.
she's intrigued by these strange girls, and the way they seem so put out by and scornful of the blatant ways they're being treated for being girls makes her wonder how it feels to live outside of the tradition she's always taken for granted. she keeps visiting them and slowly builds up a friendship. she shares how sometimes she wishes she could just stand up and refuse; refuse to marry hahn, refuse to stay silent while the men are talking, refuse to be made to be a total dependent, completely unable to defend herself should the situation arise.
the three girls decide to try and train her in hand-to-hand. at first they pretend to each other that it's just because having a princess who is confident and strikes back against the rigid pillars of their culture is sure to shake up the tribe's stability (having decided they do not want them as allies). but as time goes on, they're obviously just fond of yue and want to help their friend despite the circumstances shes stuck in.
yue slowly builds up confidence in herself in her defiance of tradition, but is unable to break down the wall of fear stopping her from doing so openly. that is, until she snaps one day, yelling in a council meeting that she won't take this anymore, she's not marrying hahn and she's not going to just sit back and be a good, silent, obedient little daughter.
she panics. there's uproar. immediately there are whispers about her being corrupted by the strange earth girls. in the dead of night, she sneaks to them, telling them they need to escape. of course, she never expected an offer for her to come with them.
they leave the north pole and travel across the world together on the girls' small ship, seeing the sights, having adventures, kicking the asses and taking the names of those who (probably) deserve it. yue gets to see more places than she'd ever hoped she could. azula gets a taste of rebelliousness, of just doing whatever the fuck she wants, her father be damned, and is hooked. mai finds that doing things she wants to do, things that were never expected - by others or her - with the girls she cares about helps push away that boredom more effectively and beautifully than anything. ty lee is overjoyed to make a name for herself and carve out a space in people's minds far from being her sisters' sister through some of their exploits (though being dubbed one of the four apparently terrifying 'pirate princesses' was never what she expected)
whoa i was just spitballing from a cool little idea about a dynamic that got lodged in my brain by a fic i just read earlier, then it turned into this. damn i really need to extract some juice from whichever part of my brain spat this out and try to synthesise it huh.
like with the modern au post, pls feel more than free - feel encouraged - to take inspiration from this, hell to directly rip the idea, and create something from it. just be sure to send it to me so i can geek out and fawn over your creation.
#atla#atla au#princess azula#azula#mai atla#yue#princess yue#ty lee#ty lee atla#avatar the last airbender#pirate au#on the run#atla fanfic
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readmore here bc uh. tw future parent death
ALSO on top of last post, discovered my uncle (dad’s brother) is moving back locally within the week
this is going to be Not Good
bc he and my dad will be seeing even more of each other and managing to further radicalize each other
for instance, my dad already believes masks are useless and has publicly processed he does not intend to get more covid vaccines. he is also almost 68 years old and has been hospitalized twice since the beginning of the year for his heart, that i remember anyway there may be more. so like. he catches covid he is very unlikely to survive. which is a fact i can’t get out of my head.
like. the man sucks. objectively he is a dick. there is SO MUCH of my trauma directly attributable to him and the way i grew up. It took me *literal years* to not burst into tears when a man was angry around me. On bad days I still get twitchy around angry people, even people I trust more than anything. And that’s just his effects on me personally, never mind the rampant, raging conservatism and all the horrible things I know he’s said to my sister because of her political beliefs.
so i’m like. preemptively grieving a man that I kind of hate? And still love? I feel like a bad person for not being more like Sad Upset about these thoughts but honest to god I’m so angry still. I will never not be angry. My siblings have tried to forgive him, my brother I think has completely forgiven him. My sister’s thoughts are more complicated but she’s much more open to Trying. I am not. maybe it’s all still just too close for me (she’s 15 yrs older than me) but. Fuck him.
Like I know, complicated feelings about shitty parents is the like oldest story ever. but god. GOD.I don’t have the mental bandwidth to be dealing with my father’s likely imminent passing on top of everything else.
yes I should find a therapist to talk about this shit to instead of word vomit on tumblr on my lunch break lmao but what the fuck can they tell me that’s useful. I know it all. “it’s ok to be conflicted” and “you don’t have to forgive him” and blah blah blah. I know. it doesn’t help.
so yeah. here we are. not able to fully get out of my head that he will die, potentially soon, and i will feel guilty because I won’t be that terribly sad about it. wahoo.
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hiiii papa bear, can i get 011, 014, 022 for Felria, 021, 035, 052 for Sarge, and 028, 059, 077 for Nirn pwease and thank u
kissnig this ask so kindly as apology over how fuckn long it took me, i forgor abt it in my askbox 4give me 😭😭
Fel
011. How would your character court the person of their dreams?
-She is very perceptive and people watches stalks in order to get information on others- in her line of work she seduces a lot of people as part of her efforts to get closer to them, so shes very in tune with what individuals want/need, which comes in handy when trying to court a partner (and not just a target). With someone shes genuinely trying to woo shes much more playful and bratty, takes a kind of ‘pulling on ur ponytail bcs she likes you’ approach which she would never take with a victim. Teasing and flirtatious, pretty brazen too bcs shes not afraid to vocalize what she wants. Does things like leave lipstick mark kisses on notes, give expensive gifts so they can match, and also kill people they seem annoyed with or at least offer to do so.
014. Detail one secret shame your character feels.
-Honestly, shes the tiniest bit ashamed of killing her younger sister. Only the smallest part, and it may still be raw embarrassment. Imagine being so insecure you need to kill a toddler. Is it guilt? Shame? No, she tells herself.
She's unfamiliar with the feeling of shame, mostly. Even when the guards had cursed and dragged her away naked to the black cells when theyd found her fucking the corpses of her victims, she wasnt ashamed. Only mildly annoyed and pouting. Shame only enters her vocabulary when she's going through her mountains of dresser drawers, and finds just how out of fashion some of her old dresses are- how had she ever worn those in public? Gag!
022. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen?
-Herself in any new outfit in the mirror, clean and flushed, smiling and manicured. She takes her own breath away, though the view of someone exhaling their own last breath beneath her may as well be a strong second choice.
Sarge
021. How do they display affection?
Hes big on hair ruffling if you'll let him, given as hes about two feet taller than most people while in human form. Hes a bit of a hugger too, and gives the best bear hug you'll ever get in your life. He shows affection physically like that, and also in copious compliments in whatever you're doing. Does also do enthusiastic back slaps but it kinda feels more like being tapped by gentle moth bcs if he really went in on it you'd be slammed across the room.
035. What is the most important rule your character lives by?
-hmm… maybe just a simple ‘don't cause shit where there ain't none”? Hes pretty damn hesitant to start up drama between the human and demonic world, because he knows how fuckin difficult it is to manage that once that door is open and politics get involved. Also the golden rule of ‘Dont Shit Where You Eat’ is pretty important to him. Hes not about to start causing problems near his base or around the people he works with.
052. What is your character’s worst flaw?
He's a pretty selfish man with very little regard to any sense of greater good. He may care about certain people and love them even, so he can understand other people having the same proclivity, and he can also understand people who only care about themselves and want to cause harm to the world. But he can't fully wrap his mind around people believing in the idea of any ‘greater good’ or vague moral ideation without real world benefit. He thinks anyone can be bought or broken down enough to get something from them.
Nirn
028. What makes them laugh out loud?
-A well timed quip or verbal jab, especially if it takes him in surprise. If it's against him he'll still laugh just be prepared for something equally scathing in return, though he remains playful with it. Hes also fond of plays and any good comedy will probably earn a few chuckles from him.
059. List several phrases your character is fond of uttering. Where did they pick them up?
-I have no idea how to answer this one but he do be saying shit like “Truly? It is so?” “Rather unbecoming of you.” “Shall we?” *insert long winded spiel abt proper etiquette he learned from a book his father made him read as a child* “there is no need to be so… uncouth” “impudence is seldom rewarded. Mind your tongue”
077. How often do they cry? Over what?
-Very very rarely :/ mans is truly older than balls and cant recall the last time he cried. Probably if he were to let someone in and care for someone and they died, but he doesnt do that very often at all. Lat time he cried was probs thousands of years ago out of frustration over his brothers antics and the chaos they caused.
#felria#sarge#nirn#again my apologies dsfgdhdf i just rememebed this like i was struck by lightning#nirn is truly so irritating. boy can u stop being so high class high maintenance
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Damn I did not realize my community had so many airheads? Y’all idolize zbaleh? We been telling you for years the Kardashians profit off of Black people, Black culture, & literal Black bodies. But it took them using Zionist speaking points for you to finally dump them?
None of this is surprising. They’re culture vultures stealing not only African American women fashion but identities, personalities, even morphing their bodies. I’ve never been a fan of these girls but I never ever went out of my way to writing long ass essays on hating this family . Well…Today is the day that changes 😂 where do I begin ..damn …they get thousands of requests to speak up on a variety of social justice issues which they mostly ignore but now and in the past they’ve always been down to defend Zionist speaking points. I’m going to get into detail why it’s fuck this family now and forever. kris jenner called blac chyna “stupid & ghetto” 😭😭😭😭 (side eye at non black folks using the G-word) but Kris has nothing but bastard grandkids, culture appropriators, birthed a low budget porn star, constantly proves white privilege and never acknowledges it. Pretty much uses black men as pets and advertisements. She use to be a far right republican and her ex currently still is ( Caitlyn). Everyone up in their comment section saying how dare you take a pro Zionist stance when you’re Armenian? Considering the Armenian struggle is similar to ours, we took in Armenians and they still live in Palestine and we both adore one another and stand against the Zionist occupation and we’re both discriminated against by Israelis. If you’re paying close attention The Armenian community (leftists especially) doesn’t even claim these fucking people, they’re more aggressive in the comment section than my own people.
Kim is famous for being pornstar, kylie/khloe famous for literally thinking they’re black. As for kourtney ? This mf ? You don’t have to watch their show to know much about them bc it’s bizzzare how advertised they are everywhere. You know what the show is about without watching it …all you need is tik tok clips. I thought Kourtney was the only semi normal one cause she doesn’t make dating black men a persona & shes honest and acts like what she is…which is a rich white girl born in Beverley hills to a lawyer daddy and basically disconnected from reality. But after her recent stance I hate her the most…this is what’s pissing me off. She’s the one who proclaims shes apolitical doesn’t watch tv or news …guess that isn’t true. It’s true EXCEPT when she needs to stand with Zionist speaking points? Who taught her about what’s going on? Is it her Patrick Bateman Zionist baby daddy that wouldn’t wife her up after 3 “accidental kids” & her kissing his ass for God knows how many years?? Can’t forget her and Scott talking to her mothers boyfriend like some God damn animal cause he said he believes in disciplining kids and they acted like he was some barbaric animal. Keep in mind I’m totally against hitting kids but the way they villainized him was unnecessary. Or firing and mocking her black nanny and made her seem like some fckn child abuser cause she cracked a joke at her kid. You can’t win with this family. I know why she doesn’t publicly fck with black men ..it’s cause she’s the definition of a Karen. If you see the dictionary and look up Karen you’ll see her photo. As a child she was raised by Nannies and they came forward and said she beat the shit out of them and called them poor while kris just watched …she even admitted to this on national tv while her mom tried to cover it up. Maybe Kourtney was my favorite cause she admits she’s a piece of shit but now she wants to be as fake as her sister, she crossed the line when she tries to get political and bash Palestine resistance.
why should anyone be excited that women already born into wealth are now billionaires/millionaires? Why do y’all love kissin ass to rich white folks so much? I see Muslim women both non religious and so called religious from all different backgrounds keeping up with KHARAdashians? What’s more shocking is watching women who claim they’re woke following them? I want to get out of a country that idolizes these type of people but guess what I can’t go back to live in my homeland it’s not that easy unless you have more than 200,00 dollars in attorney fees to gain citizenship, vow to not visit outside the country for 5 years (I have elderly parents) That’s what happens when your occupied people.
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survey #129
What was the last thing that stressed you out or upset you?
[TW: EATING DISORDER/SIMILAR BEHAVIOR] I had a breakdown at Girt's yesterday over how I'm being with food; I'd been basically starving for a while, like I was physically weak from it, but when I was presented with the opportunity to eat, I just emotionally collapsed because I still didn't want to eat because the longer I go without eating, the more proud of myself I am. I'm so fucking grateful for how helpful and reassuring his family was.
Are you more talented musically or artistically or neither?
Artistically, for sure.
What were your best subjects in school?
English/language arts, German, and art. I think my science grades were noteworthy all throughout at LEAST high school, too. The one thing I did struggle with/was absolutely never able to understand though was like, combining chemical formulas or whatever they were called. My physical science teacher (who today is our landlord/family friend) got such a kick out of how there was just this one topic that could NOT click in my mind, regardless of her explaining it to me one-on-one ten billion times. I was great at everything else, but with that stuff? My brain just turns the fuck off.
What was your favorite subject in school?
^ Actually those same ones. Oh, I did also take a mythology elective course in high school that I very much enjoyed, too.
What is the name of your YouTube channel?
It's 0zzkat (zero, not an "o" bc it was already taken sobs)
What would your name be if you were the opposite gender?
Coincidentally I asked my mom this two days back in a relevant convo at the tattoo parlor, and she said she didn't really know because with me and my sisters, she "knew" we were girls before it was officially discovered. She did say she liked the name Michael, though. Completely content with being Brittany and not Michael lmao
What show did you most want to be on as a kid?
Hm, I dunno. Well, besides Pokemon if it were real, lol.
Describe your dream wedding in five words.
Intimate, absolutely allows room for goofiness, gothic, non-traditional, and full of love and knowing I've made the right choice.
Who is your celebrity crush?
why rzk gotta Look Like That at over 50 years old, calm the FUCK down
Have you ever been on a doubledate?
Yes, with an extra friend that needed some cheering up. It was my favorite date that I've ever been on.
Favorite soup?
I don't really like soup.
What do you want most?
To be happy and content with myself.
What’s an unpopular opinion you have politically?
I don't really believe in total eradication of law enforcement officials, that just sounds like a bad idea in the end, but I do VERY much believe that major reform is 100% mandatory in law enforcement. Because right now, that shit gets dark.
If you were to go to a Disney-themed costume party, what would you dress up as?
Hmmmm... I think some sort of adaptation of the Cheshire cat would be very cool.
What is an ability you believe everyone should have?
To listen and consider outside perspectives. People tend to wanna be right 100% of the time and just close themselves off to the possibility of them not being right, so they don't challenge their flawed opinions, practices, etc.
Name a song that’s fun to sing along to.
HAHA "Bartender Song" by Rehab INSTANTLY comes to mind, I think EVERYBODY loves beltin that shit for no reason, lol. I think I also just remember doing this a lot with Colleen, in times where we had loads of fun, so it's a good memory.
Do you know how your parents met?
They were co-workers.
If you owned a restaurant, what would you serve?
I personally have no interest in owning a restaurant, but if I did, I think I'd try to be a vegan location, but with shit that's ACTUALLY good quality and convincing, even to non-vegans like myself. It's a cause I really support and would love to be more exposed to it, but also I know basically zero vegan locations here, so it'd be different and attractive too certain people for that reason.
What’s the fanciest event you’ve ever attended?
Wanna say that dinner I attended at the end of high school for being in the top like, 10% or even less of the graduating class as far as GPAs went. I still have that plaque in this very room because it meant so much to me and was so validating that I wasn't a total idiot and capable of a lot.
Do you experience intrusive thoughts?
YES and they freak me out
What is the best name you’ve heard an animal named?
I mean it totally depends on the kind of pet, but I can say that I fucking love when people give like, cute cats and the like names that make them sound like the apocalyptic wrath of god compressed into this teeny animal, haha.
Morbid, I apologize. How do you think you’ll die?
Ugh... I don't wanna think about this. But almost definitely some sort of health condition, probably relating to the heart.
What woke you up this morning?
I just naturally woke up, literally past 2 PM lmao. Between the breakdown yesterday, recovering from a new tattoo, and getting HORRIBLE sleep lately, I guess I just seriously needed it.
Would you rather have many hobbies or 1 true passion?
That's super hard, but I thiiiink many hobbies. That enables me to have fun in so many more ways, and encourages more variety in my life.
I feel like every school has one. What was a school scandal your town’s school had?
Forewarning, this is REALLY FUCKING GROSS, so if you don't wanna read just pure gross shit, skip. But basically in high school there was a massive uproar over a video of a student going around the Internet where she covered a Certain Part of her body with peanut butter and let her dog... yeah. Been over a decade and I still struggle to accept someone (especially a minor, that's an extra layer of gross) ACTUALLY did that.
If you have pets, what would you ask them if they could speak?
Roman: why the hell he's so intent on lying on the keyboard or on the mouse, lmao. Also why he's so terrified of strangers, especially since he was never abused or even had a bad experience with one.
Venus: if she's content/happy. Or what she'd change if she could vocalize it to me. I think it's pretty normal to wonder this with caged animals, especially those that are less domesticated species.
Cookie: why the HELL she loves to pee on the very, VERY edge of her pads, generally so she actually does it right beside them instead of on them. It drives my mom BATSHIT insane. Even at her old place she always used pads so it's something we do here too, and I mean she's a teeny-tiny dog so it's not really a nuisance... when she actually lands on them, lmfao.
What compliment did you last receive?
Really don't know the chronologically last one Shelia (Girt's mom) said to me yesterday, because there was just a lot and I was also in a very bad mental state so my focus wasn't exactly all there.
Would you rather get a facial or massage?
Facial. I'd find a massage excruciatingly awkward unless you were like my very serious s/o, and even with them I'm just self-conscious so would still be anxious.
Who is tallest in your family?
I wanna say my brother. Possibly Dad? Idk.
Who did you last have a text conversation with and what was it about?
My younger sister; I was asking her what date Dad's birthday is so I don't forget again this year. I knew it was in April, but I wanted the date and had zero interest in asking Mom because she doesn't like any of us kids showing even an ounce of interest in him as a person, honestly.
Do you bathe your pets regularly?
No, none of them really need it. Roman does need to be brushed very frequently (it is INSANE how much fur constantly comes off this short-haired cat), though. I think my mom does occasionally use this foam shampoo stuff on Cookie, actually.
Would you have any clue when your best friend last got their hair cut?
His older sister did semi-recently.
Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook?
Juan, but it's from many days ago. I don't chat on Messenger much.
When was the last time you saw them?
Like... 2016?
Do you have a friend named Nick? What’s his favourite food?
My sister's husband's name is Nick, but I've no clue what his favorite food is.
Are you obsessed with anything?
Meerkats are my CONSTANT obsession, like that started when I was a literal 10-year-old and hasn't stopped. My biggest obsession right now is Rammstein tho. Also very into tarantulas and the prospect of one day having one (definitely not dozens, no way man).
Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda?
I refuse to drink diet because 1.) the aspartame or whatever causes me headaches, and 2.) they're JUST gross, to the point it's completely unenjoyable to drink them.
Do you think you’ll ever delete your Facebook account?
Nah. There have been MANY occasions I've considered remaking it just to leave behind old posts and stuff that no longer even remotely align with who I am, but all the effort just for that does not seem worth it, and besides, some of the stuff I don't want to leave behind.
Do you think 10 years from now you’ll still be taking surveys?
HA YUP
List 3-10 things in nature you find amazing.
LAJSDLKFAJWKEJWERA EOH BOY THERE'S SO MANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some that immediately come to mind are just the circle of life itself (death nourishing and growing into new life), ginormous trees like redwoods, the process of evolution and nature's whole history on this planet, volcanoes, caves, AURORA BOREALIS, giant waterfalls like Niagra Falls, just how humongous sealife can grow, interspecies "friendships" (for example there are species of tarantulas that *basically* keep frogs as pets for mutually beneficial reasons), the fact dolphins like to get high for fun lmfao, fungi and stuff, UGH THERE'S JUST SO MUCH COOL SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
List three ways in which you are sensitive.
Just three? Well, that's easy. The one that immediately comes to mind are ways my AvPD manifests, like how I will basically feel like I got physically shot if you make me feel dumb or weird for liking something or just judge me harshly in general for interests; I am VERY sensitive to basically any form of rejection; and I'm the person who WILL get upset if you make a joke that is intended to be harmless but involves a topic I'm personally sensitive about.
How many brothers do you have?
One, and he's my half-brother. Still my brother in the ways that matter, though. I just wish I got to see him more.
Are you faithful in a relationship?
I can confidently say one of the very last things you ever have to worry about as my s/o is me cheating, so yes.
List three things you can see if you look out the window closest to you.
The garbage and recycling bins, the road, houses across the street.
What are three ways in which you are blessed?
Not a fan of the word "blessed" here, I prefer just "fortunate," but regardless: I have a roof over my head, fucking fantastic people who support me, and even though it's a terrible one, we do have a car to get places.
What group of people do you feel like you fit in with the most?
Uh... I dunno. Goths? At least at heart, haha.
Where is one place you’ve been in which you didn’t feel like you fit in at all?
My sister's house on holidays, lmfao. They are the complete opposite of me.
Would you describe yourself as a wallflower?
Oh for sure.
What are three little things in life that you enjoy?
Pretty days with nice weather, hearing small streams of water like creeks run, and soda lmfao, but at least I've stopped having it regularly. I'm convinced the craving for it, especially when I've had a terrible day, will never go away, though.
If you could pick any three foreign countries to visit and explore, which three would you pick, and why?
South Africa, because I want to visit the KMP but also I just find Africa to EASILY be the most stunning continent on this whole planet, I would be entirely stoked if I got to explore more of the country!! Then of course there's Germany; I've had a thing for Germany since high school when I took all the available language courses in it, it just seems like a nice, pretty place with the sort of weather I'd enjoy, and I'd love to try different foods and stuff. I know there are certainly people who still have a bad taste in their mouth regarding the country, but when learning about their culture and stuff and how disgusted the very vast majority ARE by their own history (take some fucking notes, USA <333333), they just sound like good and very honest people to get to know. For third place I'd probably pick Italy, especially to visit Venice and Rome! I don't even think I really need to explain why I wanna visit Italy, like who DOESN'T, haha. It looks like fucking paradise.
Do you feel you can honestly say that Jesus saved your life?
I saved my own motherfucking life, get out. Religion nearly RUINED my goddamn life.
What are three pleasant surprises that you enjoy?
Mom randomly coming home with a Mtn. Dew for me lmao (does not happen often, I really have gotten a lot better, but because of the rarity of it of course it's exciting), Girt deciding he's gonna come by here after work, or weighing myself and seeing the number drop whatsoever.
What are three ways in which you would describe yourself as “normal”?
Uh, when speaking of my morality is one; I certainly don't think I'm evil, but I'm no leading public figure of some cause either - just your normal "good" person, I hope. Uh... I can't think of anything else quickly, I generally see myself as lacking in most areas.
... and what are three ways in which you would say you are not normal?
I don't have my driver's license at 27 years old, nor do I have a bank account/any sort of monetary card/even just a job, and I know my mental health and its general stability is far from "normal."
What would you say is the best thing about your life right now?
My legs getting stronger and being able to ACTUALLY tell with total certainty is a major source of joy for me these days. Just this past Friday, I walked down my sister's porch steps much more normal, and I stg it made my entire fucking day. For a VERY long time I've had to do one step at a time on basically any staircase, meaning I had to get both feet on a single step before going onto the next, but I didn't this time.
What are three of your favorite ways to help people?
My top one is easy: be there for emotional support. Listen and comfort them whenever they need it. I've also noticed that when my s/o is sick, I go FULL maid mode completely willingly, like I just want to make their recovery as easy and peaceful as physically possible. I also am very big into supporting small businesses, especially of those close to me; I'd favor their services over others, and you can bet your ass I'd tell anyone about them when relevant.
Do you enjoy creative writing?
HELL FUCKING YES it brings me so much joy and satisfaction.
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dreams very vague
- something about studyiny abroad again. after class I was supposed to keep this nice lady prof company & we went on a 3 hour trian ride to the middle of the countryside to place I'd been before that wasn't real. the people that lived here were superstitious about these bird things. don't think of them don't say it and be polite to them always..if you see them hide and close your eyes. they had feathers tall dressed in all black with white raven skull like masks but huge. and they're surroundd by cold air and whipping winds. we were in the lady's car when I saw one and I told her we needed to pull over and vlose our eyes but she wanted to see it up close so I put a blanket over myself anf lay on the backseat. it was outside the car.
- a bit different now, I was in the village up aheaf and they had this weird landscape thing some tall and curled cliff but a bar on top. I was meeting up with a dude who called himself like Francis but I saw him he was a guy I'd known in middle school who dated one of my friends for a little bit& then another girl I knew& he actually proposed to her last year. anyway I was like ok 3 questions: 1. aren't you named David 2. like from[name f school] & 3. what brings you here. idk what happened next but I ended up having to share some ground floor hotel with the lady from earlier and also some girls from college. I didn't want to. I was like ma'am I didn't sign up for any of this shit. I want to go back I'll miss my flight home& I'll be stranded on this side of the fucking ocean or be out ,$500 to get back. but there were a lot of those bird things outside. I ended up making a small shrine to them too keep the goodwill. might have been something like that one movie, what was it called, the village where it's like some old timey village and the main character is a blind girl and people aren't allowed to leave bc there are monsters in red cape that get you. idk
- next. takes place in one of the guest rooms if my mom's house. I'm not treated well by all these girls but there's also some kind of scanner ginny to find these bags of gold? I had found most of them kept in my bag secretly but the lady had set up a camera in my bedroom& she busted in madder than a hornet screaming and spitting & throwing shit at me. don't really remember next
- smth with my sister, it was dark, there was some giant mechanical structure, we were at the lights on the way to the grocery store by the intersection near the highway.
- it was towards the end of a game with a lot of environments. I'd saved everything. I know to end the game I had to set up any combination of the type of tree and area at the center of the world machine& go into the water around the corner into a small room with a big pipe in the middle they went underwater. I was supposed to go in there to the heart of it& die to truly save else. but I was scared. there were watching. I want Ray to leave this world. if I got stuck? what if I drowned? I put both my legs in it& it felt a little slimy. I wasn't ready. why did I have to die to save a world I only just met? It wasn't fair. I ended up escaping& running as far north as I could - the edge of the territory. there were people there, but I never saw them, only the chicken coop& clear other signs of Biuilt things & activity. there was a dog. a little Shiba thaty loved barking.
- I threw my mind into someone who could fly. I'm not sure what it was. they surfed or zipped or launched or skated on these cables? that held up the sky or something. but it felt like flying. a gorilla saw him& got so confused. it broke one of the cables, but the person I was in didn't falter. maybe it really was flying.
- smth about a dark parking lot outside a hotel in Florida they also had a pool. there was some Asian American family there struggling to wrangle their 2 kids 3&6 . I don't remember if I helped or watched. I think I was partially in spectator mode next to the car.
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WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LET ME FUCK, MS. PARKER?
milf hunter!seijoh 4 x f!reader
w/c: 2.3k
warnings: smut/18+/minors DNI, cheating, age gap, spanking, exhibitionism, cyber sex, dub con for makkis bc there is alcohol involved, both parties are actively consenting!, unprotected sex, masturbation, makki kinda creeps on you through the window and….mommy kink, im sorry
a/n: as my bestie @aiiwa said, “this mommy kink is a disease and im not getting well soon.” anyways, i saw this tiktok a few weeks ago and ive been terrorizing @smoochiesdiarie about it on discord ever since, so thank you for beta reading. i think at this point all my recent haikyuu works are dedicated to @lookslikeleese so enjoy because i also terrorized her with this tiktok too <3.
IWAIZUMI HAJIME can feel the change in energy he usually receives when he comes back home for the summer. He’s always been the favorite amongst the neighbourhood aunties; such a polite boy, the one who was always helping his mother take the groceries inside without being asked, the one who walked the dog everyday at 8 am.
Now he’s back from college and he’s a man — all big and brawny, sporting a golden tan from spending time in the California sun. So why shouldn’t he take advantage of the reputation he’s cultivated by agreeing to help out with peoples lawns? He could use the extra money to try to chip away at those student loans, and all the labour is definitely a workout.
What he won’t admit to everyone is that his favorite perk of the job is you, the pretty little thing that moved into the big house at the end of the street during his fall semester. You were just so cute when you approached him for his help, big designer sunglasses perched on your forehead, carrying your poodle under your arm when you asked if he wouldn’t mind adding your house to the list of people he’d be working for. That’s how Iwaizumi began working 6 days a week that summer, but on Thursdays, it wasn’t work, he was putting on a show.
Making sure his biceps flexed just a little bit more as he trimmed the hedges, using his shirt to wipe his sweaty brow so you could catch a glimpse of toned abs, turning on a smile that rivaled Oikawa’s when ever you would thank him for his hard work with a glass of mint lemonade. It’s hard not to fall for his charms, with your husband always working late and the kids away at summer camp, he’s become a friend — well, one you’re also flirting with equal energy, with your coverups becoming sheerer and the innocent questioning if he could help you put on some sunscreen on your back.
So is it really that surprising if one afternoon he’s folding you in half in the backyard instead of folding the lawn chairs? You’ve been dancing around the attraction for so long, and all it took was hearing him let out a low grunt as he started the lawnmower for you to finally cave in. Wet slaps ring across the well manicured lawn, but he’s got a large hand covering your mouth as he drills into you, suppressing the shrieks you’re letting out as the head of his cock brushes your cervix. It’s not enough, he realizes, you’re still so loud, and he slips his thick fingers past glossy lips to muffle you even further. After all, as much as he would love to hear you cry out about how much you love the way daddy is fucking you, he can’t risk having the suburb find out the neighborhood golden boy isn’t so innocent.
OIKAWA TOORU knows the power of a compliment. All it takes is a “You barely look a day over twenty five” or a “That’s your daughter? You could be sisters!” paired with his killawatt smile to have the rich moms flushing under his praise.
He’s the perfect gentleman, proper, polished, with his crisp white polos and tennis shorts that never become grass stained or sweaty. His chocolate locks never slip from the sports headband he pushes them up in, simply bouncing in tune to the stroke of his backhand serve. Somehow, he even manages to smell like his cinnamon and patchouli cologne by the end of his lessons. He’s the model athlete, so it’s no wonder his clients are always trying to set him up with their children, but why would he take their offers when he has you?
You’ve been a client of his for a long time, starting a couple of years ago when you moved to the area and needed something new to do. You picked up the sport all doe-eyed and fresh faced, excited to find ways to entertain yourself while your husband was working. But he hasn’t been blind to the fact that you’ve upped your weekly lessons with him ever since that sparkling Harry Winston ring slipped off your finger. You’re duller than you were when you first started, that vibrance gone and now replaced with a far away look in your eyes that says you aren’t here for pleasure, you’re here to escape.
The other women were gossiping such vile things, something about catching his secretary in the house, and while those heartless few take the time to tear you down when they think you can’t hear, Oikawa’s heart aches for you.
You need him, he thinks.
You need his silver tongue to shower you with compliments when you finally perfect your service ace, because a woman like you is capable of doing anything. You need his touch, which is why he puts his hand over yours while you hold your racket, pressing into your side not so subtly as you go over the motion for a forehand volley.
And he knows he’s got an effect on you, he sees it in the way you’ve started to perk up again around him.
It’s in the effort you’ve started putting in the lessons again, but this time it’s not to occupy the life of a bored housewife, it’s to earn his approval.
It’s in the way you break out in a bashful smile when he says your tennis skirt brings out the color of your eyes.
It’s in the way you let him flip that same skirt up in the back of your Benz after your lesson of the night ends, moaning shamelessly as he gives your ass a firm smack.
But that same hand comes back down much gently this time, massaging over the red flesh tenderly as he praises you for how well you’ve done, finally learning that tennis isn’t what you needed to get your mind off your philandering spouse, it’s him. And as a reward? He’s finally slipping his fingers into your dripping hole, pumping them in and out relentlessly till you’re gushing all over the leather upholstery.
MATTSUKAWA ISSEI has always been a gifted kid. With stellar grades in both science and math, the scholastic decathlon advisor still rues the day they lost his talents to the volleyball team. Mattsun never gave up on these skills of his though, it’s just that his talents now come with a price — which is why he’s the best tutor in town.
It’s a gig he started his first year of college, he’s going local to knock off those general education requirements, so he’s got some extra time on his hands. You would think with his towering height and bushy brows he’d be a terror to children — but in fact, he’s the opposite. Something about his presence calms them, and he’s a surprisingly great teacher. Mild mannered and patient, he’s able to break things down easily for them, and even throw in some goofy memory hooks to make it stick.
This is how he becomes your daughter’s favorite person in the whole world — long division used to keep her up at night, but now, Wednesday nights with Mattsun is what she looks forward to the most. You feel like you can see that he has a soft spot for her too, just by the way he takes a little bit of extra time to chat about her favorite books or how attentively he listens to her go on about her day at school.
But would you believe him if he said the soft spot was for you?
How could he not be infatuated by you? You’re kind, sweet, both to your adorable daughter and to him. You don’t have to keep making cheese hamburg steak when he comes over but you do, just because he mentioned how it was his favorite once. Surely, this isn't all because you feel too overwhelmed or inept to help your daughter with her homework. You’re strong and capable, doing so much as a single mother, he’s just helping out once a week. So if the sight of your full cleavage through the cut of your top is an extra thank you on top of his pay he’ll take it happily, hoping maybe someday he’ll get the rest in full.
So imagine the way his heart shatters when he tells you he’s leaving town. He’s got his transfer processed and will be starting in the fall, so unfortunately this will be the last time he’s helping your little girl with her math homework. She's clinging behind you as he breaks the news, fat crocodile tears threatening to spill from her big eyes till you swoop in and save the day — asking if he could do some virtual sessions he has the time.
For your daughter’s sake, of course.
Mattsun finds that he loves virtual tutoring just as much as he liked teaching in person, still finding ways to help even with fourth grade math through a computer screen. His favorite part is when your daughter finally waves goodbye and he gets to have his lesson with you, the one that involves you showing him your pretty pussy on camera as he guides you through how he would touch it if he was there, stroking his thick cock at the same pace your swirling your fingers around your clit.
After all, anatomy is a science, and that too is in his wheelhouse.
HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO is the master of the long game. He’s sure the first words he’s ever said to you were a breathless “you’re pretty” when you opened the door for him after his mom forced Makki to welcome your family in the neighbourhood.
Of course you laughed it off and sent your son out the door to make a new friend, but little did you know exactly what the sight of you in that pretty yellow sundress that summer would do to the boy next door.
He’s thirteen when he met you, and then it was a little puppy dog crush, smiling wide when you would call him such a cute boy and give him a cookie.
He’s fourteen and he’s now best friends with your son, but every time he comes over to call him to play he’s always looking a little longer at you, only ever leaving after seeing you wave goodbye to him and give your son a kiss goodbye, secretly wishing that it was him on the receiving end of one of those.
He’s fifteen and at a sleepover in your basement, and everyone’s talking about girls. Celebrity names are being thrown around left and right, but when it’s Makki’s turn to answer who his dream woman is, his mind wanders to the woman upstairs cooking pizza for the boys and without hesitation, he mentions you, earning a snort of laughter from the group and a sock in the eye from your son for even joking about such things.
Makki wonders what would happen to him if he ever found out he was serious.
He’s eighteen and he’s horny. His cock is aching in his hand, flushed and angry because nothing is working to get him off. He’s clicked through just about every site and played roulette with about every category with no luck, but his luck seems to change when the light turns on in your bedroom window. He peers out to see you in a silky black robe, milling about your room unaware of his gaze. He throws his head back in the pillows with a sigh, closing his eyes and imagining what you could possibly be hiding under that flimsy little thing, your plush breasts, thick thighs, just the thought is enough to have him spilling all over himself. He lets out a pained sigh at the sight of the mess he’s made, it took thinking about you for thirty seconds for him to cum all over himself like a pre-teen, because he’s just that whipped in this perverted little fantasy.
He’s twenty six when he moves back into his old house. Times are tough and he’s here to save out on some rent, but to his delight, you’re still here too. You greet him with a big grin and a tight hug, gushing about how much he’s grown since you’ve last seen him. You’re inviting him back inside for a drink, and Makki’s praying you didn’t notice how his dick began to stir in his pants at the feel of your warm body against his.
It’s three hours later and he’s a bit warm from the wine you two have been sipping on as you catch up. The house is now empty, your son having moved out to chase his dreams and husband long gone after a bitter divorce. You’re lonely, he realizes as he catches that forlorn look in your eyes, and before he can offer any words of comfort, you’ve beaten him to the chase, asking him “You’ve always loved me, right, Makki? You’ll never leave me.”
He’s doing the best he can to contain himself, but you’re absolutely right, he never would, and he gives you a controlled nod, which you take as a cue to take his hand in yours and lead him to the bedroom.
Makki feels like he’s dreaming when he finally enters your drooling cunt. This can’t be real, it can’t possibly be happening, and yet you’re underneath him in the flesh and crying for him to move when he’s finally bottomed out. He’s been fantasizing for as long as he can remember, and he’s not going to let it go to waste.
He’s going to be a good boy, good for you, good for his mommy, making sure you cum on his cock twice before finally painting your walls white.
Makki’s still in a daze when he walks down to the kitchen for a drink. He’s been here plenty of times before, but never shirtless and covered in love bites and scratch marks. He glances at the photos on the refrigerator as he sips his water — Makki’s even in a few, and the smiling face of his childhood best friend seem to be staring right back at him.
Makki chuckles as he thinks back to the black eye he got for mentioning you at that sleepover. How would your son react if he found out what happened?
Oh well, he thinks, that’s a later problem.
Tooru’s in Argentina.
And it’s going to be hard to sucker punch him from 18,000 kilometers away.
thanks for reading! please don’t recc this on tiktok.
© all rights reserved JEANBEAUX 2021. please do not copy, modify or repost my work.
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