*blows a kiss to my computer* this one's for you, Aldith Sereda Wilhelmine Aeducan, kinslayer & kingmaker

Wanted to make a seperate post for this, because this stuff will go under a readmore. (damn it got long)

Added my two cents on this post, but here is what I do when I do have the energy leave comments on fics (and some extra thoughts on my kudoses):

Comments

There is such delight when I find a fic that I have to write my thoughts down while reading, because I love to scream my joy @ the author in the comment once I am done with the chapter/fic itself.

And hopefully by the time I reach the end of the chapter I can calm down enough to actually write something coherent aside from screaming and keysmashing.

Some fics get me that excited!

Some fics I had to put down while reading, so I could pace around the room, because the possibilities for where the situation could go are ENDLESS!

Some fics I've put down and picked up MONTHS later, because a chapter was just so good and made me feel SO MUCH, I was unable to read further!

There are fics I forgot about and returned to years later and was DELIGHTED to see them finished or still going (there was this one back on fanfiction.net that I adored with all my heart, and I plan on checking out what happened to it. The author went on a break around the time another fandom took my attention, but the fic was so good I still remember it from time to time. It made my life more than just bearable, it made me laugh to tears at some points. )

When a fic gets me that excited, I noticed I tend to either comment short excited comments before nyooming to the next chapter, or read all of it over a course of a couple of days, gather my thoughts and leave an almost essay long comment, because the whole fic was just so good and I want to say it all in one place!

There were a couple of fics that I actually WANTED to write essays on, because I appreciate the authors writting style so so so much! For some I still do, because holy hell, the writing and characterization is great, while ALSO gives us things canon/source material didn't explore. But, if I do that, I wanna do it good because KUDOS TO THE WRITERS!

There are also fics that have me grinning and commenting on what's happening outloud, but there isn't really that many questions popping up for me.

It's the delighted gasp and a "Bitch, you said WHAT? 8D".

It's the "Ohohohooooo this is going to h u r t".

It's the grimace or a snort of "You fucking bastard, I knew he was planning something."

With fics like that, I can sit still or do something that isn't too demanding attention wise.

It's relaxing. It's nice, it let's my usually very active and overwhelmed brain rest, WHILE ALSO giving me serotonin and the excitement/feels, but on a smaller scale.

With fics like this (especially one shots), I tend to leave shorter comments, because if I want to comment, but don' t have much to say, I'll still comment and tell what the fic made me feel.

"I liked/loved/really enjoyed this fic, it had me experience x"

Because I do like it! And so far almost every fic I read gets atleast one kudos because this stuff is so good and the authors are amazing.

I just don't have much to say at that moment. Or what I want to comment is missing something and feels too flat to me.

If I know I'll want to reread a fic, I usually bookmark it and write down some highlights/what I liked about it/make a comment of its own in the bookmark! Because looking at older bookmarks/bookmarks from a fandom you are no longer involved with can bring back quite the laughter... AND get you back into the fandom even!

Reading fics is supposed to be a thing you enjoy. If you are starting to dread it because you feel obligated to say something, hey.

Take a step back for a while. This kind of fear happened to me at some point when I was younger, especially when I started interacting with active content creators. They appreciate comments and those comments help so much when an obstacle presents itself and it seems like abandoning a story will be it. Comments and encouragment bring back the fire and joy of writing.

There is a comment I have yet to reply to, that's been sitting in my Ao3 inbox for 160 days (ALMOST 6 MONTHS, MOCA, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND REPLY ALREADY!).

It's from an author who really wasn't feeling motivated and the comment brought them such joy and excitement!

Why is it taking me so long to reply?

I never expect/wait for a reply from authors. ESPECIALLY not if it's a fic that's older (there are some amazing fics that were posted in 2013!!! Who knows if the author is still active in the fandom!*), or if it's an ongoing one that gets alot of comments. In the second case, it's because the author is already writing the fic, editing said fic and uploading it, could also be working on a bunch of different fics (because writting inspiration strikes at the weirdest of moments and as someone who has around 4fic ideas happening simultaniously, people who ACTUALLY WRITE THEM? Kudos. You are amazing.), not to mention most fic authors do this in their free time. So there's also their jobs, social circle outside the internet, on the internet and the amount of energy they have for social interaction with strangers online. Who am I to expect a reply to that behemot of a comment I left on their fic? If it made them happy, great! If it made them go "woah, that's alot of words" *shrugs*, eh. I am a rambler, it's what I do, if they like it they like it, if they don't they don't. Not much i can do about that, though I did leave a note on my ao3 profile that they can contact me if long comments/ramblings annoy them, so I can stay off their comment section and scream about my love for their works somewhere else. Noone has asked me to stop as of yet, but I like to offer just in case.

Most of my comments are actually posted as if I was at cafe or a restaurant, and was offered the Book of Complaints, Suggestions and Compliments/Thanks.

Complaints? I don't have complaints to leave, because it's my decision on what content I consume, and if I don't like it, I can always search for something else.

And if I didn't read the tags? Well, that's on me. That's like ordering a new dish when you have a food allergy, not reading the provided and highlighted allergen notes and warning, and then screaming at the staff when your food arrives. It's not THEIR job to know what kind of allergies their customers have. It's the customers.

Suggestions? Is the author asking for those? If not, no suggestions from me! If they do ask, and I don't have an answer I usually take some time to see if I have anything to offer.

Compliments/Thanks. That is the thing I love and what I click the comment box for. If a fic made me FEEL something, I will let the author know.

Do you know how amazing it is to read a fic and sit staring off into space after you finish it because "woah... that. That made me feel so much at once that I can't even name it." ?

When you read a crackfic, and keep snickering and chuckling, before you finally burst out in laughter or wheezing or snorting with tears in the corners of your eyes because "OH THIS GOLD, I haven't laughed like this in a while!" ?

When you read angst that tugs at your heartstrings and causes actual tears to run down your face and feel the anguish the characters feel?

When you read angst, but the story has a happy ending? Any you get to see the characters claw their way towards it, and actually reach it?

When you read hurt/comfort and there is that gentle care and love and safety that makes your heart melt?

When you read a fic that feels like sitting by a window with a cup of warm coffee while relaxing music plays? (this last one is becoming my favourite of them all and is actually the one I struggle to comment on the most.)

There is such a variety of works out there! So many talented and amazing writers, with their AUs and a billion different ways of writing!

3. I am a very forgetful person, who has to check her inbox more often. Plain and simple. Nothing more to it.

4. Some of these authors write back such lovely comments that make me smile everytime I open my inbox. I think I might make a scrapbook of some sort, to keep track of them, because getting the feedback of "HEY YOUR COMMENT MADE ME HAPPY/EXCITED!" or "I really appreciated this comment, thank you." makes me smile. ^u^

Seriously fic authors are amazing, and this is why "Kudos to them." has become a thing I say irl as well, and in any conversation where someone creating a thing is brought up. I may not know or have a strong opinion on the stuff someone enjoys creating, or have nothing to really say, so "Woah, Kudos to them." is my way of saying "I admire their work (but don't have anything else to say about it)."

Learning it means Glory? Hell yes, those works are worthy of praise,and the authors really are glorious.

So here's where that lovely button comes in.

Kudos

I use the kudos button both when I have a comment to write and when I don't. I spam that button when I like something so much words fail me, and I click it when a fic reads like I have just finished a cup of coffee.

If I use the cafe/restaurant thing I talked about before as an example, leaving a kudos, to me, is like giving a smile or replying to the waiter with "It was great." when they asked if you enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it, but I don't have anything else to say.

Maybe it was just an interesting read, even if not to my usual tastes. It might get a kudos.

And if I read something that I thought I would like but it turned out I didn't like it or I felt meh abput it?

Well, *shrugs* well.

I don't have anything nice to say, and I probably won't read stuff from that author. There are others who will and others who will leave a kudos.

I don't think much about it because I read fics for fun.

I ramble about them because I am having fun and finally know I can share my experience with others.

You guys have probably seen the "Holy shit two cakes!" comic, which was originally about how artists/writers feel bad when creating something with a concept that many other more skilled creators used.

I remember that comic at some point also being used to explain that "It really sucks when you bake a cake, but noone wants to eat it."

I can't speak as a writer, because I don't post the fics I daydream about (yet! I don't post them yet!), but here's a little thing my daydreamer self likes to think.

I baked my cake, and I can eat it too, but I hope the cafe I frequent has something similar too.

Translated?

I wanted to read a fic like this, I made a fic with the idea I wanted, I enjoyed the process and the result, but I sure do hope someone else also makes a similar fic in the future.

I do however mostly daydream my fic ideas. So again. These are just my thoughts on the whole thing that is Comment > Kudos/Like > Reading > Not Reading

(masterpost) Male Companions react to realizing they’re not as straight as they thought thanks to Sole

All male companions’ reactions below the Read more! No nsfw, just put it under a read more because these reactions got LONG. So I did it not to clog up people’s dashes, essentially. They can also be found per 2, in a seperate post which you can get to by clicking the name after ‘includes:’. Includes: Codsworth, Danse, Deacon, Nick, Hancock, MacCready, Maxson, Gage, Preston garvey, Sturges and X6.

Synth!Codsworth:  (this one got long, oops)

As soon as he realised he was attracted to anyone at all, he figured this came with the body. Nothing to worry about, at all. Except… why did it have to be Sole who suddenly had gone from his master to look after to someone who distracted him from medial tasks? This could hardly be considered a desirable outcome. Was it innapropriate? Surely, it had to be. For a fraction of a second he decided to ignore it but then he got distracted again by Sole’s arms, and that smile, and he decided to strike up a conversation, perhaps gain some information on what to do about this. “Sir, could I… pehaps have a word with you?” “Sure, Codsworth, what’s up?” Codsworth smiled, caught off guard for a moment. He noticed his body temperature seemed to go up, especially in his cheeks. Peculiar. “ May I bother you with some questions about… some new feelings I am experiencing?” Sole raised an eyebrow. “Such as?” Codsworth had originally presumed a small system malfunction when it would take him this long to word a sentence coherently as a robot. “ Feelings such as eh… distraction and eh… Romantic… feelings?” Sole grinned. “ Look at that, in love, huh?” “ What can I… do to resolve such feelings? To stop it?” Sole shrugged. “In my experience you can’t do much about it.  You hope it goes away or you speak to the person you’re interested in. Have you tried that yet?” “ Y… yes? Not really but I’m eh…” he scraped his throat. “ Any word on who the lucky person is? Is it Curie? I figured perhaps with the background as synths…” Codsworth only just noticed that yes, it was statistically more likely he would be interested in someone who he could procreate with. Did this decrease his chances with Sole? “ Eh… Curie is a lovely girl but I merely consider her a very good friend, sir. My interests are in someone altogether different. Say, a man.” “ Lucky man.” Sole smiled. That’s when Codsworth decided to just go for it. “You are aware I value your opinion highly, Sir, could I ehm hypothetically get your… interest?” Sole’s eyes widened. “ Codsworth, are you saying that…?” And that was when he chickened out. If human bodies could have such a thing as an alert to retreat, he surely would have it going off this instant. “ Oh, no it’s just a nice, intimate chat between friends. I’m glad you got it off your chest Sole.” Sole had a massive grin on his face, looking at Codsworth , rushing away as fast as he could. “TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION, YOU HYPOTHETICALLY COULD!”  

Danse:

Danse had never really had all that much time for romantic feelings, in a lot of ways joining the Brotherhood meant marrying it. He was dedicated to his goals there, to protecting those under his command.  Falling in love would be an unwelcome and even dangerous distraction from his duties. But his bond with Sole had been growing, and the more time they spent together, the less he could see him as another ‘brother’. He was starting to notice… things. That he sometimes zoned out and thought of him when he wasn’t around, that he caught himself involuntarily looking at Sole’s lips when he was speaking, that he even had some less than platonic dreams. It had happened without him even really being aware of it and now… now he wasn’t sure what to do with it. He couldn’t deny that he had a different kind of feelings for him than just friendship. And that was a first for a man. He had been infatuated with a girl before, but this seemed more serious. Less of a crush, more of… he shook off the thought. This was alltogether new. He had no clue on how to deal with this, no previous experience to speak of. He decided to keep it quiet for the time being; Sole had more important responsibilities. It would be selfish to take him away from those. He bottled it up for a long time, until the point he lost everything he once believed in, and Sole was still there. Still telling him he was worthy of his place in this world, still maintaining an unwavering trust in him. Danse felt like it was too late, that he  no longer had anything to offer him but a shadow of a man. Yet the moment he realised that he couldn’t just ignore his feelings was the moment Sole stood up to Maxson for him. He never saw anyone do such a thing before… show such strength and bravery… let alone do it for him. Every supressed thought came cascading onto him again. Still… he didn’t want to act on it. He didn’t feel like he deserved Sole, considering what he was, how little he had left to offer. Not until Sole managed to get himself literally blown away from the enemy. He rushed to his side relieved to see he was okay. “ If I lost you, I don’t know what I’d do.” “Damn Danse, the way you’re saying that sounds like more than just friendship.” ” I… perhaps we need to talk.” Sole just looked at him, prompting him to carry on. ‘Look, all I’m saying is that if you’re… interested…. so am I.” “ Are you saying you’re…in love with me? “ Danse sighed. “ I am, I’ve never felt closer to anyone before but I don’t even know what the hell this means. Nor how this… works. I mean I have an idea but.. “ Danse got flustered at the idea. “I’d be honoured to be the man by your side. “

Deacon: Deacon hadn’t minded following Sole around before, and his glowing recommendation to the railroad might have… reflected that a little. Laying on a bit thick how impressive he was, but did that matter when he lived up to those impossible expectations? If anything, it made him even better than advertised. The more he learned about Sole, the more he liked what he saw. A wit to rival his own, but with a kidness hidden underneath it. Whenever Sole’d return to the railroad he’d drop everything to hang around at the headquarters,   inconspicuously of course. Yes, hoping Sole’d want him to tag along, and yes even more so because he like the rush he felt when he saw him. He knew damn well that that didn’t exactly indicate that he felt no more than a sense of friendship towards Sole, but didn’t give a damn. Sure, he never before had felt like this about a man but if there was one thing he’d learned it was that life was too short to drop a good thing when it was right in front of you. Besides, with all of the roles he’d played, it was refreshing to discover another aspect of who he really was. And this… this was real. Finally, something undeniably real. He didn’t know how much he craved it until he felt it. Deacon threaded carefully, testing the waters, trying to figure out if Sole would even be remotely interested. He had a contingency plan; he could always claim he was practicing for an undercover mission or something. It didn’t take long before Sole called Deacon out on his different behaviour. “ Say, Deacon, are you… flirting with me?” Deacon laughed, as it turned out it was a little more difficult to lie once you were a little bit too personally involved. They had gotten too close, damnit. He looked Sole in the eyes and after a flicker of doubt whether he should lie just said “You noticed, I’ll take it?” “ Hard not to. I mean, I have no problem with this at all, You may have noticed I am all for checking out both women and men I come accross…” “ Yeaaah… you’re super good at keeping that under wraps, boss.” Sole shot him a side-glance “ But… I thought you were into women? I mean, you never seemed interested in men and it never came up in conversation so I assumed… I mean with… your wife and all that?” “ This is as much of a surprise to me as it is to you. But what can I say? You are just so pretty! The way you sway your hips, for one. ” Deacon mimicked an overly swaying walk, only to receive a shove from Sole. “ I’m serious, Deacon. What’s going on, is this a con or?” Deacon kept looking into Sole’s eyes for a moment until the smile faded and he was looking down. Damnit, this is why he preferred lying. Less chance of getting hurt when they saw a persona instead of you. “ In all honesty,…” “ Alert the media, Deacon’s going to say something honest! Where’s Piper when ya need her?” “ Yeah, I had that coming. But eh… you are handsome.” “ Ruggedly, I know.” Sole brushed through his hair dramatically while rolling his eyes. Deacon was distracted by his hands for a moment so he closed his eyes for the last bit. “ Aaaand I dunno what happened but as it turns out I’m not as straight as I thought and I may potentially perhaps have a crush on you.  “ That last sentence came racing out. Sole couldn’t remember a moment when Deacon seemed this uncontrolled when speaking. Which brought up a certain concern… “ How do I know this isn’t just  some sort of prank? If so, low blow.” Deacon took off his sunglasses and winked with a grin still set on his face. “ Woah Sole, low blow? Let’s take it one step at a time huh? “ Sole buried his face in his hands. When he looked up again, Deacon was still looking at him. “ Like… I dunno… see how a kiss feels?” “ You’re serious about this?” “ Yeah. Have been for a while, actually. Shocker, huh? ”

Nick: It didn’t take long for Nick to be impressed with Sole; the way he seemed to manoeuver through the commonwealth was… had to be a mix between a natural ability to adapt, one hell of a lot of will power and heaps of luck. Travelling with him, the proof that there was hope left yet to obtain some kind of justice and morality in the Commonwealth, brought new colour to his world. A kind of colour he hadn’t really noticed since… well since Jennifer had been in his life, or at least in that of the the Nick before him. Admiration turned to friendship, but now… he noticed that he started to feel something of which he had from time to time wondered of if he’d ever be able to experience it first-hand as a synth. Whether he liked it or not, he felt drawn to Sole, to their energy and to their strength. He tried to ban it from his mind. What would a man who was slowly working up his way to becoming the hero of the world as he knew it want with a heap of scrap metal? But every time he chose to travel alone or with someone else he’d worry and miss him just a little bit too much for it to just be friendship anymore, somehow seeing Sole happy had become what made him happy.He tried to ban it from his mind, but grew distracted from his cases and asked Piper one too many times whether she had heard anything of Sole’s return. It wasn’t really until she mentioned “ Okay, clearly someone’s smitten. Might wanna try to make that bright neon sign stand for something more than just your name. Tell him.”  Before he could protest she walked out with a “ Consider it free advice, ya never know!’ If it was that obvious to her, it’d stand out to him too, sooner or later. When Sole returned to him, a little battered, a little bruised, but still going on with hope in their eyes he just smiled. “Piper said you’d want to see me.” Of course she did. “So what’s up? Just wanted to see if I was still in one piece or did ya miss me?” “Maybe… you oughta sit down for a moment.” Sole arched his eyebrows. “Okay… that sounds serious.” “ All right, I’m gonna try not to make this too uncomfortable and you need to know I just want to hear an answer from you so I can move on from.. this. I… ” How the hell do you come forward with something like this, he stopped talking, tried to think of how to word it. Damnit, he had a couple of times in his head but it all seemed to fall flat now. “ Should I come back, do you need to  run some diagnostics   first or something?” Sole’s lips curved into a grin, a glinster in their eye and the usual pride after perfectly delivering one of their witty comebacks, turning Nick’s words against him. “Out with it, Nick. “ “ I have a powerful urge to kiss you right now.” “ Is that so?” Sole leaned forward.  “Then… what’s stopping you?

Hancock: (this is ignoring the fact that he also gets men commenting on tours of the town then ;) He’s probably the character of which the whole bisexuality thing is the most ‘present’ in the story regardless of which gender Sole is.)  Hancock had noticed Sole, in a way which could hardly be considered platonic  from the get-go. You don’t just shiv a guy with that level of arrogance, no matter how much of a pest he was being, if you didn’t want to leave some kind of impression. Not that he didn’t have it comin’, ya can’t just go around threatning people in his town, but he did consciously make it a show. Hancock had noticed him entering the town, and immediately knew it was a matter of time before they’d either want to gauge the other’s eyes out or would end up inseperable... with some people ya just know. Hancock considered himself lucky it was the second, considering Sole seemed damn near as good as him at a show of dominance on a bad day. The man carried himself with a confidence that was just too damn good to look away from. There had been flirting, as he did with anyone, and hell, he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t seriously thought about it,.. but now he looked at Sole brutally taking down a serial killer without second thought Sole just managed to pique his interest  a little more. He felt something was shifting between them, the flirting got more serious and his own thoughts got a little more... impure with every turn. But it was more than that,Hancock was drawn to Sole’s need to do the right thing because it was a rarity. To make matters worse, there was this charisma which seemed to surround Sole like aura, affecting anyone around him.  If he hadn’t felt it before, Hancock knew now more than ever that sexuality is indeed a spectrum. But he knew he got it bad this time ‘round, the first time in forever he wouldn’t mind being tied down by a relationship. No good woman had ever been able to tame him... and watching Sole greased and bruised up he realised perhaps all he needed all along was that specific man. Sole turned around with another angry glance at the body at his feet as he hissed ‘Bastard’. When he turned around he noticed Hancock in the corner, staring at him intently. “What?” Hancock raised one eyebrow and grinned. Sole inhaled deeply before he started to rant, letting out some residue of anger in the process; “He had it coming, coulda saved some people if I had gotten to him sooner. I’ve seen you grab a dagger for worse reasons than...”   “ Hey, I get it, blood for blood. I’m just enjoying the view. “  “ Yeah, ‘bout that, what does that even fucking mean? " “ How ‘bout you tell me what you want it to mean?”

MacCready: Maccready was slow to trust people, if there was anything he learned from the state the Commonwealth was in, from the state every single place he had ever seen, it was that people in the end only look after themselves. If you’re not connected to another by blood... betrayal would follow sooner or later, as soon as a good enough deal to be had was on the table. Actually, even family ties were severed for less than what he’d consider a good deal. Sole... proved different somehow. MacCready was eternally grateful for his help with Duncan’s medicine but something else started to seep through. He wasn’t just grateful for that, he also was because Sole gave him a sense of purpose again, something to fight for which wasn’t just switching off any thinking and doing what he was told. No matter what that was. His life had been about survival for so long... he had forgotten what it was like to really live it. Until Sole reminded him. He was far from oblivious to the fact that he started to develop some sort of feelings towards Sole but pushed them aside. He wouldn’t be able to love again like he did Lucy and Sole deserved better than that. Not to mention, Sole himself also lost his big love... and that wound was more fresh than his own. Even if one was ready how the hell could the other be? So he kept it under wraps, trying to come up with more reasons why it wouln’t work to keep him from getting too attached. Reminding himself that people leave. One; he couldn’t do it again. Love and maybe lose. No. Two; It was a bad idea to fall for the boss. Then again, he didn’t now what way, nor did he know to which extent he was even supposed to see Sole as his boss anymore. They’d been through hell and back together... surely they were at least friends by now... right? Three; damn he looked good in something else than that vault suit. Those arms alone... his jawline ... ah for f... friend’s sake. In this instance, his eyes lingered on Sole when he was trying to barter with someone on the price of ammo, bringing his charm to the table once more . At some point the shop keeper turned around to look for money and Sole looked behind him and winked at MacCready, as if to say ‘done deal’. As soon as he was done, Sole walked off to another store, probably to sell off some other junk still. The woman at the counter was looking dreamily at Sole, and MacCready gave up not trying to look in the same direction. The woman sighed; “Your friend is awfully persuasive isn’t he?”  “ Awfully...” And that, that was the moment he knew it was a lost cause to even try to fight it. He’d follow Sole to the ends of the earth, indebted to him or not.

Maxson: When Maxson met Sole he was intruiged; never before had anyone been that upfront about their true opinion on anything he said. Being ‘the great Elder Maxson’ came with a heavy burden and a necessary authority. He could not allow anyone to publically question his commands. Therfore, it was a godsent that someone, who he could discard such attitude from based on him being an ‘outsider, would vent his true opinions about him and actually dare to speak up when he might be wrong. Someone who wouldn’t ignore to the warning looks of his brethren, or wouldn’t be put off but Maxson’s own  booming voice but rather grin and argue harder. It’s the main reason why he enjoyed Sole’s presence as much as he did. After a while he started to appreciate Sole’s presence for different reasons alltogether, not just because he appreciated his opinion but because he appreciated having him around. Having him nearby made him feel... stronger. If Sole backed him, he felt like he’d managed to ensure that what he thought was right, was definitely right. An extra insurance sort to speak. But things escalated. He talked too much to Sole, too much about his past and his fears of the future. Things which he never told anyone, shouldn’t even, if he were to remain seen as an absolute leader. And Sole, in turn, never seemed to use any of that information against him. At first Maxson figured he had found a friend to confide in. The ideal Sentinel. But he also knew that he was ignoring a strong feeling gnawing at him... friends don’t have their heart skip a beat when the other looked at him and smiled, they don’t notice the curve of the other’s lips, they don’t feel an urge to in the middle of an argument push the other against a nearby wall and make out, they don’t have to ignore their heart seemingly contracting a little when the other took a little bit longer than expected on a mission. Dating Sole would both be an issue and a non-issue because he’s the Elder of the Brotherhood of Steel. He was the Elder, anyone who had a problem with him dating his Sentinel would eventually simply have to deal with it. But he was also the Elder, a man expected to someday have an heir, which just wouldn’t be the case with another man as his lover. One night, Sole returned from a mission, cut across his face, bruises on his arms. Involuntarily he darted to Sole and touched the skin beside the scar, noticing Sole looked at hand and didn’t try to stop him. He dropped his hand. “You worry about everyone this much? Cause then you have a lot of people to go check up on, Maxson.” Maxson inhaled and exhaled deeply, closing his eyes. Time to put his heart on his sleeve. “Look, there’s something I need to tell you...” 

Gage: (warning: cursing) Gage never had been the type to dart around the point too much, no use for it. Raiders got shot at a bit too often to delay things to the next day. Getting down and dirty, getting confrontational was his speciality. No bottling up shit, or someone’d wind up dead. Actual feelings complicated things though. He had learned early on that first rule of ganging up meant that no one was looking out for you, and that feelings would just come back and bite you in the ass. Of course he had to go ahead and fuck it up by falling for the boss. But he ruled well, showed him respect and looked damn good while doing it. Gage kept it to himself for a long time; this was by no means a ‘want, take, have’ situation, it was more dangerous than intruding some settlement and taking what he felt he was due to the people’s lack of resistance. When subdueing a resistance among the raiders, Sole winked at him after a command (he had to realize to some extent it’d drive him mad), the sneer on his face when he realized he had won. He knew he was a lost cause, would sell out the entire goddamn world to be near this man. He’d do anything for him, even lay down his own life, things he’d never do for any other leader. Some raiders noticed, called him out for looking at the boss that way after another fight at their bar. “ Ya think you’re worth him? Huh? You’re a damn parasite Gage.”  Gage knocked a bottle over his head, knocking him unconscious. The others barely batted an eyelash as he spoke, calm and collected: “No, I don’t. Fella’s gotta try, though. Gotta do what he can.” That’s when he noticed Sole at the door, drink in hand, arching an eyebrow.

Preston: 

Preston hadn’t expected to find a worthy general for the Minutemen, not any more than he had expected to find another altruist in the exact right moment. They were a rare breed in this day and age... but nothing came as more of a surprise than how that same man also had worked his way into every fibre of his being. Sole had gotten inside of his head and it was getting frustrating. At first he was concerned it was because on some level he might be concerned that he had been a little bit too enthusiastic in giving him the position of general. Second-guessing himself, worrying that his subconscience had noticed something he wasn’t ready to see. That he had wanted Sole to be a good man and that he might not be. He admired Sole, from the get-go. This strong-willed man who was ready to put his life on the line for a ragtag bunch of strangers.  If something was wrong, and he knew it on some level, that would explain why Sole kept popping up in his thoughts. He only realised what might be the true reason when he noticed Sole flirting with someone at the bar. It caught him off-guard... do you get jealous when your closest ally and friend prefers the company of another? Perhaps. But not when he is just making small talk with winks and drinks. That kind of thing doesn’t threaten your friendship. It threatens... your chances with them in a more romantic way. Damn.   The winks, the subtle touches, the midnight conversations... he started to reanalyse how he felt during them. He couldn’t remember ever having developed such feelings for a man. He certainly had always been able to tell when a man was attractive and there were some men he perhaps wouldn’t have said no to but... Oh. Oh. Regardless, Something had grown, and it now had a tight grip on his heart. He kept it to himself until they headed out again. He figured rejection would be less painful if there were fewer people around to ask him what was wrong. They had camped up, in the middle of nowhere, campfire light flickering as they were sitting around it.  “ Do you have a minute?” “ Sure.”  “ Look, I’m just going to go ahead and say it: I have feelings for you. “ “ What kind of feelings? “ “ Romantic feelings.”  Sole smiled and Preston felt his courage slipping away from him. He had tried not to think of the ‘what if’ if he hadn’t felt the same.  “ I didn’t think you were interested to be honest. In men. In me.” “ It’s a recent discovery. And when you fall in love with such an extraodinary man... well... It’s not something you can moan about.”

Sturges;     The arrival of Sole meant the reintroduction of something Sturges had only pretending he had for a while; hope. It’s hard not to get happy when seeing what you consider the persponification of that feeling. Sole didn’t consider him as mere footfolk, as replacable. He often came to look for him when he arrived back at the settlement, asking if he needed anything. When that happened to be some help when building something, Sole happily followed his instructions and looked just as proud when they had built something together. No matter what that something was. They grew closer in the process, building things together meant time to talk. Taking breaks together. Sturges, being a synth, hadn’t been so lucky to experience romantic feelings before. His life had not been his own for a good part of it, after all. Out in the commonwealth he had read some booklets laying around left and right, usually featuring a man and a woman in some dramatic pose. Somehow he figured that if he would ever fall in love with someone, it was therefore likely to be with a woman. He felt physical attraction, sure, but it was not necessarily only to them. He reveled in Sole’s presence more than anyone else’s, making him think about the descriptions of romantic love people had given him when asked.  They were working on something, welding, when something went wrong and Sturges barely in time managed to move out of the way.  “ Sturges, you okay?” He was looking at the projectile which had loged itself into the wall. “ I’m all right.” “ You should be more careful not to hurt that pretty face. “  His heart leapt. “You think I’m pretty?”  “ Well, I’m not blind. You’re a handsome man.” “ Sole, how do you know if you’re in love?”

X6-88: (this is one of my person favourite ones tbh) The life of an institute syth meant being created artificially, serving the institute til’ death and when that comes along taking along as many enemies of the institute in the process. Feelings were discouraged, and if you had to have them, you had to keep ‘em under wraps. They just meant trouble to the institute, a reason to... discard you. Synths were told time and time over they owed their lives to the Institute and thus were indebted to it. No more than a cog in the machine. X6 initially loathed Sole for not immediately understanding how much of a big deal it was they were suddenly named heir to the institute, an outsider. But then he got to know them, their dedication to their cause even if it didn’t mimic that of the insititute entirely. For one... Sole never treated him as a mere tool. It confused him a little, irritated him even more, as it made him unsure on how to handle the status quo. Sole radiated a kind of natural authority, but just as much of a goal-oriented approach he had ever seen of anyone. Never. Stopped. Fighting. He admired him for it, until he realised that his admiration for Sole surpassed that of Father and converted into something else. Something he knew for it was described and discouraged by Institute scientists. Love. It hit him like a sledgehammer after battle, when Sole towered above his enemies with that same strength in his posture and look of pride in his eyes. X6 didn’t give a damn about his love interest being a man, he just gives a damn about falling in love with the boss. Exactly because romance was never to be in the cards in his line of work, he never really put all too much thought into his sexualty either way. It was altogether irrelevant. But falling for the damn heir to the Institute... that’s a definite way complicate things. He did as he had always been told, kept it quiet, fought it, until after a battle, with adrenaline running high, he ran up to Sole and kissed him. As soon as he’d done it he turned and cursed. He’d hear whether that was a problem or not as soon as Sole started moving again, he figured.