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lackadaisycats · 7 months

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Hi Tracy, i wanted to ask a somewhat personal question. How do you deal with losing beloved pet? I recently lost my 9-year-old tortie a month ago to kidney failure and GDV and even though i still got three other babies to dote for (and they're all lovely), it's really hard to feel as much love as i did with my tortie. She was my first cat and was incredibly loving and patient with, helped me immensely while grieving for my father's passing a few years ago.

With her gone, it really does feel like a lot of me also went with her. It makes living very hard. I made tiny sculpture and wood soldering in her memory but i don't really know how to deal with the actual emptiness inside me. Sorry for the word vomit but i figured since you also lost a precious cat before, you might have insight for this situation

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved tortie.

I don't have any special skills for dealing with death, really, but I suppose I can speak a bit about personal experience.

I think it's natural to feel a yawning emptiness when something so intimately intertwined in your life - a constant companion, a source of joy, something around which your daily schedule is structured - is suddenly gone. It can be a very lonely sort of grief too, as the loss of a pet doesn't generally come with the same community and ritual that human death does. To others, your dear companion was perhaps just an animal. Not to equate it with human death in the broader scheme, exactly, but it can mean personal devastation, compounded by being alone in coping with it. Societally, we probably do ourselves some significant harm believing we must rapidly "get over" losses like this.

There's no getting-over-it that I know of, anyway, but there is the knowledge that the nature of grief changes over time (it sounds like you're no stranger to that). The stormy waves that knock you about with the immensity of the loss gradually give way to more placid waters. The sadness remains, but grows gentler and maybe sweeter even, because it creates a quiet space to reflect on the pet that enriched and graced a chapter of your life with their presence.

In the meantime, while awaiting some peace, I personally find there's an analgesic effect to making the feelings of grief actionable. The meditative nature of art and the act of memorializing a companion animal won't fill in that void, but it can help you start to process and accept it, to find a way to transmogrify it into a repository for your feelings and memories of love. I'd say keep making sculptures, make a scrapbook, draw a picture of her - anything, if it puts you in a different state of mind as you're doing it.

Looking after animals that are in need of care and attention in the moment, even if you feel emotionally distant, might help you regain some footing too. Setting up shelters for feral cats and fostering rescues are some things I like to do. There's a sort of grounding, self-rescue interwoven in focusing some energy on the living.

Most of all, grant yourself time. Do yourself the kindness of not feeling bad about feeling bad. Mourn without believing you must rush to find a cure for the sadness.

If, however, you are suffering or finding it impossible to function day to day, please do reach out to seek qualified counseling.

#cats #pet loss #grief #lackadaisy #death

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genopaint · 4 months

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Week 3 of dragons done and done!! We're still trucking along!

Follow me on twitter if you wanna see them posted daily!

And you can read more info on each of them under the cut!

Day 14 - Bullets Breaker

An aggressive, mean hitman who loves doing what he does. In addition to his weapons, he's also very skilled at CQC. When enraged, the red marks on his body glow and he gets a massive power boost!

Day 15 - Barfodon

These dragons have incredibly sensitive stomachs and get sick when they eat just about anything. The worst part? They'll purposely eat food that upsets their stomach, because projectile vomiting is their main form of attack! Disgusting! What they eat determines what effects their puke has. Jalapenos? Fire puke. Lemons? Electric puke. So on and so forth. Also the spikes on their stomach pulsate when sick

Day 16 - Green

Happy Dragon Appreciation Day! In the year of the Dragon? I suppose I should draw a dragon a lot of people like but doesn't get much new art... So... Here she is! Green is here to help you celebrate and appreciate your favorite Dragons! For those who are new to her, Green is a dragon girl with varying dragon powers and abilities. Her gimmick is that how she's drawn is very different and can be changed on a whim however you like! This is her base design and she's sort of a pseudo sona of sorts?

And here it is with no colors. Usually don't do traditional coloring cause I tend to mess it up but I thought it looked good today!

Day 17 - Gobblar

These dragons LOVE food. They'll eat any food they can get their hands on! If it's edible, they'll eat it! As such, you see them a lot around humans being used as garbage disposals for unfinished meals. They're kind to humans so they'll get free food.

Day 18 - Altaria

Also surprise it's daily dragon #18! I knew I wanted Altaria to be one of them and since I'm out of it, figured I'll go ahead and do the first fully fanart dragon of this thing right now! Wahoo!

Day 19 - Faerogon

Tiny, fairy like dragons who love in the woods keeping to themselves. They live in trees and sometimes even under large mushrooms! They're famous for how cute they are!

Day 20 - Vesuvius the Great Smog

A terrible dragon that lives high up in a volcano, where no one dares try to fight it. It terrorizes nearby cities for treasures, not with fire breath, but with a horrible smog breath that can linger in cities for months at a time

#dragon #dragons #character design #creature design #monster design #oc #pokemon #altaria #my stuff

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bananasher1337 · 1 year

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sorry for spam reblogging. if you find my blog through there,

1: sorry,

2: posts good.

anyway, onto me.

all the things you need to know are on my carrd page

if you can't or won't click that link, my name is asher or nolan. noah is also acceptable but that's cringe. i'm a gay nerd, i draw things (if they're pleasant or meaningful, that's for you to decide), and i use this site once a month.

also i tend to dump multiple pictures of the same source in single posts so i'm sorry if you have to scour ten images for one single pic of your blorbo.

i'm nice when i want to be. i have no set dni and block freely

individual characters are tagged "(name) (source)" ex. "steve minecraft", although this may variate or differ depending on the situation.

i use the format "cw (thing)" for content that needs warnings (blood/gore, vomit, etc)

tag list, current fandoms, more info ↓

tag list! click the tags on this post to navigate ✦

asher's art tag: the art tag. all art is here

asher's tag tag: me speaking and all that other stuff

funnies: random posts, usually memes

epic asks: asks i get, please send more asks i like answering dumb questions

fandoms

current hyperfix/s: total drama (gen 1), cookie run (crk/crob), warriors (sadly.)

i'm a multishipper, but i do tend to have some biases. rarepair defender 4 life

other fandoms: flash content in general. roly polys no nanakorobi yaoki

other things i like: i enjoy school. shocker. (my favorite subjects are math and english.) i need to read or i'll become severely depressed, i don't write much anymore, but it is fun sometimes. i also want to get into baking, because murder is illegal.

(shhhhh.... me and the pookie made a td highschool au roleplay server. check it out)

favorite music artists: mitski, the smiths, tv girl, dazey and the scouts, i don't even know here's my playlist

i'm okay with anything using my stuff (edits, inspo/reference, fanart, tracing, you go) as long as you TRY to give credit. the least you can do is leave my username in the description. do not claim any of my content as yours ❤️

do NOT involve me in discourse EVER. i dont care what it is. idgaf what somebody else is doing with their own life that doesn't affect me or anyone else at all.

#asher's tag tag #asher's art tag #funnies #epic asks

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someoneinjersey · 2 years

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Just a lil update

Every so often I like to check in on my mostly defunct social media accounts.

Still living in North Carolina with Kate, with her cat Wimby and my dog Deano, and then we had a stray decide to adopt us who is so sweet and lovey. Her name is Larry because she has a very raspy meow if she can make sound at all, so Kate said she had laryngitis, thus, Larry. She's wonderful and we want to work on bringing her inside if we can (she likes to sneak in sometimes anyway). She brings us so many "gifts" so we know she loves us but for god's sake, so many dead mice, chipmunks, and rabbits turning up on our porch.

I'm still disabled as fuck, yo. I rarely have the physical or mental energy to do things, which sucks because I was doing really well for a few months after I moved in and then at some point, possibly conflated by my birth control that I hated, my panic disorder kicked into high gear. Like I'd have a panic attack just driving into town, or thinking about driving into town, or for no reason at all. We went to Kate's brother's five hours away for Christmas this past year and I had to stop at a gas station for an hour to sit and let my meds kick in while fighting vomiting and hyperventilating because I was having such a bad panic attack. Once we finally got there I had at least one attack every day, sometimes two or three. It was out of control, so my psychiatrist put me on extended release xanax to try to improve my quality of life and it's worked very well, though it does make me sleepy and panic or the fear of panic does creep in from time to time.

My brother disowned me. My mother needs a kidney transplant now on top of her liver transplant, and will refuse dialysis once her kidney function fails completely, so we have no idea how much time she has left. She still won't leave her husband. She wants to come visit again (she came last October) and while she's my mom so I'd love to see her and cook for her, I don't know if I can handle the stress. She doesn't realize she's a huge trigger for me and she can never know that because it'll kill her and she's already dying. She is aware, however, that if she visits, she may have to have Kate or a taxi pick her up from/drop her off at the airport because I don't know if I can drive to Asheville yet. It's about a 30 minute drive, but I still struggle with just going into town. She's not too happy about that. We've had so many fights since I've moved here.

I keep falling into ruts. I swore I'd break all my bad habits once I got down here and lived on my own, without a parent lurking around, but I just keep letting things go all over again. The dishes pile up, the garbage piles up, and then the monumentous task of just starting a clean up becomes unattainable. I've also learned that I have ADHD, likely always have. My psychiatrist said it was a "soft" diagnosis he was giving me, however, because I wasn't interested in going on medication for it. I want to sort out my other shit first but naturally I'm making no progress on that either. I put things off because I'm scared, and because I can never guarantee that I can make my appointments due to my panic attacks.

I'm still a killer cook. I've taken up collage journaling, which is just basically gluing scraps of paper and putting stickers together in a notebook, but it makes me feel good to do. I bought myself supplies to start drawing again but they've been here over a week and I haven't touched them yet. I need to get back into art so maybe I can sell some because we are barely scraping by, paycheck to paycheck and disability to disability. It really sucks.

Anyway, for anyone that's still around, I just have tumblr, facebook, and instagram now. FB and IG are private so you'll have to send a follow request or whatever, but please do. I'd like more interaction and I miss some of you on here. I'm also always up for texting, so my number is only an ask away.

ETA: My fb is under "Sara Ann" and my current userpic is not my face, and my ig is "atthedividingline" thank you

#me #about me #personal #update

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just-messing-around · 2 years

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I decided to draw a cyborg-like body that will have a human brain hooked up inside of it once it's completed as a representation of my wishes for perfect health.

A 'robotic' body.

No need to eat, sleep or consume water, just one or two days each month dedicated to fixing any minor issues that come up in the system or hardware and a couple hours charging the body each night.

Maybe whatever is necessary to keep the brain healthy can be injected into it by the system or something and the one or two days a month is also when she refills the stuff that gets injected?

No body pain, no constant digestive issues, no vomiting and cysts on her lips if she accidentally eats something she's not supposed to, because she won't need to eat or drink anything at all! And even if she decided to eat for some reason, the food would just sit in an empty container in her 'stomach', waiting to be manually emptied out. She can't even taste anything, so she wouldn't have any wish to eat, but if she did eat for some reason, it wouldn't hurt her, because she doesn't have an immune system linked to her digestive organs that could start attacking her anymore, because she doesn't have digestive organs.

Even if it meant giving up the pleasures of eating yummy food, the ability to feel physical pleasure, the ability to birth children-

It would all be worth it in order to do all the things I wish I could do without bad health and really bad pain getting in the way of almost everything.

Maybe I'd find different reasons to be sad after the transformation, but most of the reasons that currently make me cry would basically disappear.

Well, I'll never be able to experience that seemingly amazing, life changing transformation.

However, I can draw an image that allows a fictional character to possibly live out my most unrealistic dream.

Yes, I know this is very unrealistic and most likely has multiple issues, but don't make fun of me or attack me. This is just me using art as an attempt to express my desire to be cured of all of my diseases that don't have a cure.

My desire to work a good paying job with long hours to make money for my family, my desire to spend hours upon hours going to schools and colleges to learn all I can about all of my interests while getting those pieces of paper that tell future employers 'this woman is completely qualified to do all of these things, so you should hire her', my desire to play sports without the risk of snapping my weak bones or breaking my weak teeth in half or chipping them ever again, my desire to dance from sunrise to sunset, my desire to play with my little nephew at the playground until he's completely satisfied and ready to go home.

I wish I could get a chance to experience that....

#health issues #health problems #chronic problems #my art #sketchbook drawings #traditional art

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