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#me when im forklift certified
buttmuncher77 · 1 year
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pre-springlocked jack n dave in 1973. cant take em anywhere!
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steampunkedparm · 2 months
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"of course you have carabiner's."
yeah??? how else am i supposed to hold my keys?????
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deutsche-bahn · 2 months
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Ich war auf der letzten Langstreckenfahrt mit RB produktiv und habe mal meine persönlichen Lieblingsanekdoten von diesem Blog gesammelt:
Oberthema: ich hasse Reisen und Reisen hassen mich
ein Tscheche ruft das Jugendamt
sorry, mein Chauffeur ist noch Fahranfänger
im Flixbus auf den Spuren Jonathan Harker's
Bahnstreiks, you say? Lass mal Europareise machen
queer melancholy, ausgerechnet in Irland
I draw the line at Pfandflaschenmissbrauch
Oberthema: das ist kein Stammbaum, sondern ein Problem
Meine Mutter demonstriert ADHS-Symptome und zerstört eine Lampe
Meine Mutter kommt nicht in den Himmel
Schlüsselbeinbrüche im mittelalterlichen Turm
Meine Mutter möchte helfen, ich möchte kündigen
der Scheidungsmops
Meine Mutter desekriert das Oberlandesgericht
Mein Großvater, der Kriegstreiber oder: Eine Frittenbude wird Kollateralschaden
Oma prügelt Keksteig
Wir verbrennen meine Tante
Oberthema: Handwerk
he wasn't even forklift certified
Guerilla-Fahrradreparaturen
Oberthema: Langsam Jacqueline, sonst kotzt du wieder
don't beat a dead horse, beat this live one instead
Hier ist dein Jungpferd. Prepare to die.
Enemy Mine
das Antistresspony stresst mich abartig
Oberthema: ein laufendes Experiment zum Thema Dauerstress und Polykülen
I. good use of slang, buddy
II. in which I end up in a car trunk, suffering immensely
III. who needs a portland polycule cult when you have... whatever this is
IV. just you and me and this guy that neither of us invited
und zuletzt: miscellaneous soziale Misserfolge. das Leben ist ein niemals enden wollender Loriot-sketch
als Kinder begeisterten wir uns für Pyrotechnik
fuck you and the e-roller you rode in on
Captain, wir ha'm einen Marderschaden
ra ra rasputin russia's greatest humiliation kink
ich betreibe Konfrontationstherapie
man stelle sich Gollum in seiner Grotte vor: meine Ein-Mann-WG
wirf mich, du Hund
that time I brought a fake beard to a knife fight
Falls das annähernd unterhaltsam war, I have a tip jar
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markthemannequin · 1 month
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blinks at some of the asks /lh
But waves hi “British” anon here what are some of yer favorite headcanons you have of mark? :]c
OOC
wringing my hands together evilly
Honestly I haven't given him a ton but he has a few !!
(don't ask for further explanations on these because i could NOT tell you what compelled me to think of half of them)
— REALLY allergic to cats (and cat adjacent things) nonstop coughing sneezing dying fits when drretro, jermbo, or gnarpy enter the elevator
— not the best at picking up social cues and can't for the life of him comfort people (he tries but rarely succeeds)
— since he likes weird al i also have the feeling that he'd enjoy oingo boingo (im projecting 😞)
— despite canonically being 5'9, im convinced he's short (like 5'4 - 5'5 maybe) I think this is purely because he reminds me of engineer tf2 and that guy's SHORT
— speaking of engineer tf2, that's his voice claim in my mind,,, I love you, insane country men
— forklift certified 🫡
__________________________
ty for the ask british anon, I love yapping 🙏
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sygol · 1 year
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i was never forklift certified, but because im the worlds specialist girl, i got to pilots the forked beast around so so much. the managers didnt know how to say no to me when i looked at them with my demon eyes and went "pleeaaassee"
⚠️ KROGER CORPORATE/HR DNI ⚠️
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pumpmans · 1 year
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i have tried to think of a plethora of responses to this ask ranging from "isnt the world beautiful and strange" to "call me forklift certified because im operating heavy machinery" but none of the answers can appropriately display the shock that hit me when seeing this bright red accusatory text in my askbox
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ghetsis · 1 year
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[Text from unknown number] HEY
[Text from unknown number] DID U KNOW
[Text from unknown number] IM FORKLIFT CERTIFIED
[Text from unknown number] THAT MEANS
[Text from unknown number] IM ALLOWED TO KILL YOU AND THE LAW WILL SAY hey thats cool thats fine
The one night he forgets to turn his phone off... It came through at 10:37 when he was just starting to doze off. His night is ruined and he's pissed off.
Unknown 10:38 PM - [You are the third assassin this week to be stupid enough to text me beforehand and the first to actually get on my nerves. So please, by all means, come and try. I would like the (1/2)]
Unknown 10:39 PM - [opportunity to congratulate you for this in person. When you get here, be sure to greet the security guard so he may escort you to my office. I do sincerely hope you have your affairs in order.(2/2)]
Unknown 10:42 PM - [On second thought, I'm having this number traced and we'll settle this outside. I just had the carpets cleaned.]
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marmett · 2 years
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i love how every time i come onto your blog majima is judging me for not being forklift certified lmaooo
anywho- let's play the ask game! >:D i gotta basket a' questions for ya: A5, A13, B2, B4, C1, C6,C7, D7, E2, F7!!!
A5: Favorite final boss(es)?
sorry for being a predictable slut, but majima in y5. it was just. such an emotional and dramatic scene, when kurosawa brought him out in chains, beaten and bloody, and saejima was infuriated, and then it switched to confusion when they let majima go and gave him his tanto. and then when kurosawa told them to kill each other. the DRAMA. still confused on how he learned to do shadow clones, though.
A13: Favorite minigame(s)?
i love all of the rhythm based ones! karaoke, disco, dance battles, i love them!
B2: What’s a scene that never fails to make you cry?
GOD. so many. tachibana's death in y0, when majima chooses to walk away from makoto, majima and taiga's reunion in y4, the rooftop scene in y5 when majima says if its btwn him and taiga and haruka, they should die bc no one would miss them, just so many >.>
B4: Who would you like to post more about but you don’t? Why don’t you?
yasuko, i can never post abt yasuko enough. but my little pea brain mostly makes thoughts and connections based on stuff ive seen recently, and since i dont rlly see a ton of yasuko content i just dont achieve critical yasuko thought very often.
C1: What was the most infuriating moment?
when they killed yasuko. i was too mad to cry when she died, bc i wasnt even sad i was just angry.
C6: If you could revive any deceased character, who would it be and why?
YASUKO. she never should have died.
C7: Which character should have died but didn’t? (If that’s too harsh, who deserves to rot in prison?)
u know im not rlly sure. i cant think of any characters who from a thematic standpoint would have made more sense to die. i get where ppl are coming from when they say kiryu shouldve died at the end of y6, and ok yeah thematically that wouldve made the most sense but consider: i like him and it would have made me sad :(
D7: Who was the least engaging protagonist?
hmmmmmm...... i hated akiyama in y4. i actually didnt like him at ALL and when i got to his part in y5 i took a rlly long break bc i didnt wanna play as him. y5 made me like him a bit more, and now im fine w/ him, but i still like the other protags more lmao.
E2: Bops: Haruka Sawamura, T-Set or Dream Line?
haruka shouldve tiger dropped T-set for being so fucking rude ngl, but also. im sorry haruka, but i prefer T-set's singing voices to hers ;_;
7F: Who are you fighting on the Millennium Tower rooftop?
mmmmmm no one, im baby and id just cry if someone tried to fight me. that, said, i do think kiryu needed someone to knock some sense into him at a few key moments. sorry.
edit: forgot to answer b4... it is now answered....
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s3znl-gr3znl · 7 months
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The last time getting a job was easy for me was when i was 14 and had no skills. Now im almost thirty and havent ever had a job for more than 2 years due to burnout, but i have so many skills now that no one seems to want.
I can build houses from start to finish, i can code in multiple languages. I can do plumbing. I can run electrical wiring. I can paint. I can literally do pretty much anything to an acceptable standard. I can cook. I can clean. Im fucking forklift certified. I can garner a working knowledge about almost anything in a matter of days but nobody cares for that. I learn quickly and love learning.
Why is the job market like this?????
Why is job seeking so fucking humiliating?
When are we gonna do something about this shit cuz im so fucking tired.
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